47: Tana’s Apology to KSI - Ep.47
46:37 Share

Have a question or need how-to advice? Just ask Meta AI. Whether you need to summarize your class notes or want to create a recipe with the ingredients you already have in your fridge, Meta AI has the answers. You can also research topics, explore interests, and so much more. It's the most advanced AI at your fingertips. Expand your world with Meta AI. Now on Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, and Messenger.

Have a question or need how-to advice? Just ask Meta AI. Whether you want to design a marathon training program or you're curious what planets are visible in tonight's sky, Meta AI has the answers. It can also summarize your class notes, visualize your ideas, and so much more. It's the most advanced AI at your fingertips. Expand your world with Meta AI. Now on Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, and Messenger.

And Logan basically sits on one of the lines like, I gave you that fight. And Jake just kind of defended himself and said like, you don't give me fights. Like in more words or less, like I'm the A side. I make the decisions because I'm a winning fighter. I'm active, so on and so forth. I will say this, in that first initial response, Jake's reaction was to say like, yo, like you're not a real fighter. You don't fight –

basically you don't fight real fights. You've only lost. And the last time you fought was like four years ago. It was, Logan goes, you said I won against Floyd. So yeah. So, so there, there were some points made and it ends up getting down to like a discussion around like how people talk to each other when they debate. Anybody can win a debate through pulling daggers out and making like really fiery and inflammatory responses, especially because it generally gets the person that they're debating to feel uncomfortable, shaken and

It turns into a free-for-all, which is what I was trying to mediate and stop from happening. I think there's a lot of valid stuff there. I think Logan obviously needs to prove himself. He's got a fight coming up against Dylan Danis. I think it's October 14th in Manchester. He has to knock Dylan Danis into the ground. Dylan Danis just DM'd you. What did he say? I don't know. I think just hi. He used me as such a pawn one time. I'll never forget. We were at a club. Oh, he took a fan photo with you, right? Yeah.

Like these girls were like taking fan photos with me, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And he like comes up to me, asks for a photo. I have no idea who he is. And then he like uses me as this crazy pawn. We get in this whole Twitter fight. I ratioed the fuck out of him and I was so proud. What are your thoughts on Dylan Danis? Me personally? Yeah. I just don't think he's going to show up to the fight. I mean, I don't really have any thoughts on him. As you know, like I'm not...

I don't really do like a ton of like dramatics. I haven't like done any beefing or like drama. I review waffles. You know what I meant? Cheeseburgers. Like I don't really like call people out. Like,

Did you get food? We ordered food. We're going to eat it in a second, but continue. You're going to eat food on a podcast? I'm so fucking hungry. You guys have been getting a lot of views lately. I've been really proud of you. I've been watching the shows. You guys are crushing it right now. Thank you. I'm really, really excited for you, honestly. I think we kind of found our footing. People don't like our, like, we have, like, sometimes, like, really random guests that aren't, like, affiliated with us at all. Yeah. People like when it's, like, friends. You know what I mean? And we finally figured that out, that they just want us to ruin our own lives.

Our audience would prefer us to do boys-only episodes every time we do a show. Yeah, us too. Like, honestly. Exactly. Because people just love the friend group dynamic, but then that gets messy because you're airing out so much of your life. Yeah, because now there's only so much to talk about and it has to be your own self, basically. We try to do, like, half guest episodes, half boys-only episodes. Yeah. But regarding that, like, Dylan Danis has two –

with this fight. There's only two outcomes. He doesn't show up, which is what the likely outcome is. He pulls out of the fight. He, you know, has some sort of last minute excuse or he shows up and he gets bulldozed. He ends up down in the first round. I would put every, I would put my house on it. Literally, there's no other outcome. There's no outcome where Dylan Danis beats Logan Paul. He can simply post a bunch of inflammatory shit on Twitter, which I'm sure you get. Yeah.

You don't think you will? Oh, has he already? Oh, he's already going in. We don't have to talk about that. I love that our 98% female audience is going to love our sports casting right now. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I know. I literally feel like I'm on Barstool Sports. So let me talk to you guys about my failure to commit in a relationship. No, wait. Actually, I do want to talk about that because I just saw you on a date. I saw you from across the room. Where do you want to go?

Oh, sorry. Where do you want to go right now? No, I just have a specific question for you. And it's, are you, do you wear contacts? Do you have a hard time seeing? Because the whole time, I'm not kidding, the entire time for like, it was like two hours that I was there at the same time as you, you had your flashlight on. Oh.

Wait, where was this? He's at a dark restaurant like a grandpa flashlight on the menu? Laurel Canyon, the little Italian place. Apache? Yeah. Great restaurant. Who the fuck were you Apache with? That is authentic.

specifically a date spot. Can we bleep? It is such a date spot. Wait a second. You saw, did I see you there? Yeah, no, I was like intentionally like hiding from you because I was like, God, I just don't want this interaction. Can we bleep the name but you tell Mike? Well, he's not going to know who it is. It's just my, it's my friend's older brother, but. Oh, I thought this was with, um.

I just made that up. I just made that up. I don't know why I said that. No, because he's like the number one. He's actually coming to the dinner that I have to go to at 9.30. Oh my God, and you invited me. I will not be there at all. Hey, you...

I'm sure you guys have like a whole thing. What's the comedian's name? Why can't I think of his fucking name? It wasn't a comedian. Okay. Anyway. Theo Vaughn. Please tell me it was fucking Theo Vaughn. No. If one of you guys bangs Theo Vaughn, I'll be so happy. That dude is the funniest person on the planet. Tana, if you can bang either Theo Vaughn or Dave Chappelle, I will come on your show. Whenever you ask, I'll make donations to any charity. I'll invest money. Is Dave Chappelle single?

I'm best friends with him when he's married. I'm not being the O'Von. You know what's funny is I've actually like historically been like the friend where my friend is on a date with Theo and then I'm like there. Like every time I see him, it's like, what up, brother? Because he's like...

so many of my friends that I'm like. He is so funny. He is the funniest man alive. He's the funniest person alive. My favorite podcaster, my favorite everything, right? But do you know how it goes when you don't know with someone if it's like a bit or not? It's not. That's what we found out. That's how he talks all the time. Theo Vaughn is, in my eyes, that man is probably the smartest comedian right now. I hesitate to put him over a date.

Dave is, Dave is, you know, the all time goat of comedy. The dude is absolutely freaking hilarious. Uh,

And he just continues to get better. But Theo's close, dude. But it's also very, two very different types of comedy. For sure. Like Theo is, like you cannot be dumb and be that like funny. That's the thing. But he's so good at seeming dumb enough that it's like. I also think it's like you want that as your friend. Like dating and connecting with that is harder. What do you want me to do with that? Would you put this in your mouth? I wouldn't. You're gone. I would, I don't know what I would do with that.

That was giving a, what's her fucking name? Bobby. Hey! Welcome back to Impulsive. Do you think she'll come on? She'll go on Impulsive. She won't come on. I think we either reached out to her or something, but she's been crushing it, her dry style. Yeah, it's incredible. She sent me her agent's email, which means no. Have a question or need how-to advice? Just ask Meta AI.

Whether you need to summarize your class notes or want to create a recipe with the ingredients you already have in your fridge, Meta AI has the answers. You can also research topics, explore interests, and so much more. It's the most advanced AI at your fingertips. Expand your world with Meta AI. Now on Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, and Messenger. Have a question or need how-to advice? Just ask Meta AI.

Whether you want to design a marathon training program or you're curious what planets are visible in tonight's sky, Meta AI has the answers. It can also summarize your class notes, visualize your ideas, and so much more. It's the most advanced AI at your fingertips. Expand your world with Meta AI. Now on Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, and Messenger.

No, I read a thing today about how she got, because everyone's big question is like, how the fuck did you get such huge guests so quickly? People think she's an industry plant. Industry plant. Is that term real? Does that actually exist? I don't know, but if it is, like, how do I get planted? I'm fucking. You already have been. No, you're honestly so true. I always say I'm like a social media nepotism kid. Like, I had no, I didn't have to. Oh, gee, I know nothing about that.

No, but also but also at the same time like don't like let don't ever discount yourself right and I'll tell you why I'll tell you why and I know you're not but I just want to say this really quick. There was a point

Where Kanye West sat in a studio and his sole job was to make beats for Jay-Z to blow up into Jay-Z songs. There was a point where Lil Wayne said, yo, let that, let little homie Drake hop on a track. You know what I'm saying? What you're now doing by way of building something for yourself based on that, that co-sign that you got is the real story. A lot of people get co-assigned. A lot of people get put on.

It's do they have the ability to create longevity for themselves? That's the real story. And talent. She's fucking talented. So you should be proud of yourself, honestly. Well, no, but it is like I always think about it in terms of nepotism and stuff because it's like that is like I had an unfair advantage, but you could also just do nothing with it. And then it's like, yeah. A lot of people do that. Yeah. Like you can think about all the people, Logan or I or whoever the fuck have like given close to and they just jerk off with it and it's gone. It's like you have to be fucking funny, you know?

Do you have staying power? And from what I understand, you know, the audience for you guys loves both of you. They love you. You took a little bit of a hiatus, but you know. We're back. We're back. And life is good. Thank God. That was scary. Mike, I've got to break something down for you. I'm in a little bit of a scandal right now. What do I do with this gum? I'm going to just put it right here. We'll put it here. Put it on the cap of our thing. I'm really sorry about that unprofessional. Last time we were in New York, I think we actually made out. Why is it so small? We're going to get into our last New York trip in a second.

You guys made out? By accident. That changes everything. No, we made out so by accident, like the way friends do. It was like shaking hands. Yeah, it just seemed like it was fun. We were at the box office.

which is obviously just such a ridiculous place. I might go tonight if you want to run it back. You know, I'm on a new... Oh, oh, oh, oh, if that's the case. Yeah, absolutely. Well, actually, I think I saw you make out with Steven on a vlog recently. That was fake. That was fake. That was fake. Who's Steven? One of Jeff's besties. That was fake and that was scripted and I didn't... Well, actually, I did peck Steven. You made out with Ashley. Who's Ashley?

Good question. Really, really amazing answer. Oh, my God. Bro, bro, bro, bro. I'm so sorry. We're sitting here. She's not here. Like, there's a lot of people named Ashley. Think about the amount of Ashley's. He's probably your answer. Dude, Ashley is such a comment. Yo, honestly, I would go as far as saying, and I know this is going to get back to like some chick in like Scottsdale or something. Ashley may be the quintessential thought name.

Like, I really fucking mean that. Like, think of a more representative name for the thot community than Ashley, bro. What's up there? Like, Taylor? Taylor's, as far as I remember, are pretty hard to crack. Like, I think... I'm going to be honest with you. Ashley's are just what? Spread evil? Dude, Ashley's, bro. Whenever... Bro, if you go to Scottsdale, Arizona...

And you go to like cake, right? Or fucking like puddled blonde or something. I'm telling you, there's Ashley there that's looking to have a fucking good time. She's running from this conversation. I should be running far from this conversation.

Okay, Mike, I have to talk about something. I'm serious. It's serious. This means a lot to me and I need you to weigh in. And I actually tried to navigate this myself. And I feel like you're actually a part of this scandal. You're a part of this story. Okay? I'm a part of no scandals. In Tana's version. Yeah. You are a big, you're a big factor of this. Okay? I'm in Malibu one day.

And I get a call from Mike Lovesack, my favorite guy in the world. And I always say this with you around or not around, that I know when I answer the call, I'm going to hold it maybe a couple inches away from my face because it's going to be so loud and so definite, whatever you are telling me. And you say...

So essentially, you need to get on a fucking plane to London tomorrow and you need to go fucking film 20 versus one with the Sidemen. And I brought it up enough on this channel, so I'm not even going to explain. If you don't know what it is, fucking look it up.

But you tell me I need to go do that. And I'm back and forth with you. I'm like, I don't really like London. Do I do it? How worth it is it? Do you need to fucking do it? Do you know how many fucking OnlyFans subscribers you're going to fucking get from this shit? Get out of the fucking place. Hey, when you said this, though, here's the thing. When you said this, I said this is why I'm talking to you about this because I needed someone to be like, go fucking do it. Shut the fuck up. Get in your bag. That's why I love Jeff. That's why I love Brooke. I work well with people who are fucking blunt and upfront with me. Go work, Tana. Go work.

Thank you. Go to work. I went. Yeah. I'm in the chat with you and some people from the Sidemen and I'm kind of beating around the bush like, hey, would it be okay if you booked Paige business class with me? You call me back, you go, don't ask what you want. Tell them what you want. Damn right. And,

I said these people have... The Sidemen are rich, bro. Okay. Oh, wait. So there's like something going on with this, right? We're going to get there. Okay, sorry. My bad. But you say, you know, they're a $100 million fucking corporation. If you need a flight for someone, book it. And I think I...

may have gotten a wee bit carried away with that sentiment. Page gets her flight booked. It's about two hours before we're leaving to London. I'm with one of my besties, Ty. You met Ty at Coachella. You were saying he was cock blocking you and Ashley. And I want Ty to come. And I want Ty to come. Wait, wait, wait. I don't know that

No, you said the gay best friend always is there. I said that you have to get through the gay bestie because you have to schmooze the gay bestie because they generally act as the gatekeeper for the girl that you're going after if there is a gay bestie. So basically, if you've seen Lord of the Rings, there's a character named Gandalf that stands with a large cane, like a big piece of wood, and he says...

You shall not pass. Okay. With a giant void. I can't imagine Ty saying such a thing. He didn't say that. But he said it with his. No, it wasn't even that. I just wanted to make sure. That's his character in the story. Yeah, so I want to make sure that they're comfortable before I even start like even getting involved with the girl. So usually when I meet gay Bessie, I shake hands. Yeah.

Yo, is there anything I can get you? A vape? Like a vape is where I go immediately, bro. I'm like, can I get you a vape? Is that what the gays want? Sometimes, or if it's late at night, some mozzarella sticks, maybe a couple of chicken tenders. Do you like poppers? No poppers. Why do you know what those are? Okay. Everybody knows what they are. Anyways. Sorry.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I loved every second. I've always wanted my own Buka Di Beppo moment. That was for the impulsive listeners. I wanted a Mike Malek yell, okay? But I decide to tell a fun little fib to the sidemen

production team that I want Ty to come and I say he's my makeup artist. - Why would you say that? - I got carried away! I got so carried away and I say he's my makeup artist then we spend the whole flight, I'm coaching him on how to look like he's my makeup artist. We get to set, he's fake touching me up. Every time I actually need to touch up, I'm going in the bathroom and doing my own lip liner and Ty's being like, "Tana needs a touch up, going to take a shot." It's this whole bit.

And then we get away with it. They believe it. They're like, she looks beautiful. Like they're shaking Ty's hand, so on and so forth. My dumb ass podcast about it. It comes out while I'm still in London on the Sidemen's dime. Fresh Step knows you'd do anything for your cat. From getting them food that's nicer than yours to letting them take a midday nap on your keyboard. So why settle for basic litter? Switch to Fresh Step.

Fresh Step cat litter locks in liquid and odor on contact, giving you up to 15 days of odor control. Learn more at FreshStep.com. Step it up to Fresh Step with superior odor control versus leading value clumping litter. Fresh Step is a registered trademark of the Clorox Pet Products Company. Febreze is used under license from the Procter & Gamble Company or its affiliates. Some things are college freshman essentials, like shower sandals, because otherwise, yuck.

And of course, a Brita pitcher. Your team could save over $240 a year by switching to Brita from bottled water. Plus, Brita Elite removes 99% of lead from tap water. Get your freshman a Brita pitcher with the Elite filter today. 99% of lead certified by WQA. Substances reduced may not be in all users' water. $240 savings a year versus standard 16.9 fluid ounce water bottles. Savings assumes pre-purchase of Brita system.

Okay, so at what point do you ask me something? Because you just told me you self-snitched on the fact that you provided Arsley's gay bestie as a fucking, as a makeup artist, which he clearly isn't. People go to school to be estheticians. Is that the right word? Close though. Sorry. Really close. Okay, good one. So the Sidemen find out and

I mean I could find out it's funny she told them I told on myself um very quickly I'll show you this clip and we'll insert it in but did you know that Tana scammed us yes scammed you how so we wanted her to do this video we said oh we'll fly you out put you up in a hotel you do the video whatever she's like cool I have my assistant I think the first one was she's like oh can I bring my assistant we're like yeah of course fly her out to get the hotel she's like oh I really need this makeup artist yeah

And we're like, really need this makeup. Fair enough. Like, you know, he's doing a video for us. Fly him out, get his hotel. She does a whole video and says, can I stay for an extra few days? We're like, yeah, of course we'll pay for it. Whatever. She flies back, does a podcast with the guy. Turns out it's just her friend. Yep. Never done makeup in his life. And they had the whole flight teaching him how to look like he was putting makeup on her. The game is the game. She got us, but yeah, but it's just, why don't you just be real? Just be like, oh, I also have two friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

- I don't know why you had to try and be like, make up this whole makeup. I don't know, it's weird behavior. Weird behavior, Tana. - Why didn't you just say that you had another friend that you wanted to- - I get it though, 'cause you don't want to look greedy. You don't want to be like, okay, like yeah, one friend, can I have two friends? So it's easier to be like, oh. - But also, but also, but also- - I also just thought they wouldn't literally give a fuck and no one cares, like he doesn't actually give a fuck. - No, they don't care, but here's my question.

Why did you need to bring him at all? That's what I want to know because I didn't fucking get invited. Yeah, yeah. Why didn't you bring her? Such a good question, Mike. You know what I'm saying? At least I could have fucking done something out there. To be fair, it was two hours before the fight left. I could touch her up. You were asleep. I was with you at the time. Listen. I didn't think you wanted to know. You're not going to go up against us right now, okay? Because...

No, listen, listen to me. Okay. Here's my question. I should have just told him it was my friend. No, you shouldn't have. Here's what you should have done. You're a business, you're a business woman, Tana. I don't know if you're a business woman or if you just have smart business people around you, but here's what I would have said this. Yes. I will come out to do your 20 V one. In fact, that sounds incredible. I've seen sidemen Tinder and I know what these boys are capable of and what that can do for my channels.

I do have one request that I can fly a friend out there in business class with me and that at least three of the sidemen will shoot a podcast for canceled with me. I will be bringing Brooke with me and we'll be shooting a podcast as well. While we're out there. If that's cool, I'd be more than happy to go. But instead, Tana, what you did was you brought Paige,

You brought gay bestie and pretended that he was a makeup artist. You went out there, you gallivanted, you shenaniganed, and you threw away what could have been an incredible opportunity. Throw away is crazy. To be fair, Mike, also on the phone you say, if you don't like London that much, why don't you just go bop around Ibiza? Go be a fucking thot in Europe. That's what I did. I did what you told me to do. I said after London.

Tana. I didn't say just do that. I said go to London first, handle business, and then go thought around it. I went and shot 20 versus one. I did what I'd like to think to be an amazing job. Fantastic. I didn't really honestly even think to have them on canceled. It was a three-day notice, Mike. And I wanted to tie there. But here's what I'm going to say. I want to apologize. I want to apologize for, you know, I could have been honest. I could have just said it was my friend, but what I'm saying is I'm happier here because I think that you got in my head.

It was your fault. Well, dude, I'll be honest to play the other side of it. The Sidemen are rich, dude. They have a massive production budget. If you want to pretend that you're gay, but besties and makeup artists, then go for it. That's the funniest lie. And I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I do things for the plot. I was like, this is going to be a really funny story on Canceled. I'm also, I guess, bringing, you know KSI a lot better than I. Yeah.

You know he doesn't really give a shit. He gives a shit about some things. That's specifically not. He definitely does. He's definitely, I'm saying, he's definitely not actually mad that I. He's not mad at all. I could have said Ty was my janitor. I could have said Ty was my dog walker. He's not really upset about that. I'll tell you this to clean this up.

If you had said that you were bringing another friend and brought another friend, you bring two friends and then the story dies. The fact that you lied, created a profession that doesn't exist for a friend of yours, taught them how to do makeup on a plane, and then actually had them create makeup magic in London gave not only the Sidemen a topic to monetize on a podcast to make more money,

but gave you a chance to respond to it to make more money. And now the ball's in their court if they want to continue on. So Tana Mongeau, I would say that you're a business icon. You're a legend. And Forbes 30 Under 30 is missing out without you. Yeah, so that answers your earlier question. But I might just have a good team around me. No, that's what I was going to say. That is an answer to your previous question. She is the businesswoman. You crushed it. It's really just a silly little story. I love KSI. I love them all. And I just wanted Mike's take, and I got it. I think it was so funny.

But I wish it was me. Can you please take her to London? London is a wonderful city. I enjoy London very much. I still don't know if I enjoy it. Yes, I'll take you if you want to go. I think Canceled is touring there soon before the year's over. Perfect. And have some UK dates. The jury's split on London. The food is a bit iffy. Is that what everyone's saying? Bad food? The weather is a bit iffy. And people, they hate Americans. Nope, nope, nope. Okay, be me though. Be a bleach blonde bimbo. Nope, they do not. Let me tell you this. The city of London is incredible. And absolutely.

And I really want to say this and shout out to all the people listening from the UK. The city of London is incredible. It is one of the most culturally relevant historical cities in the world. Fashion, what has happened there, World War II history. The city is incredible. Fish and chips, Mayfair chippy, incredible. There's a lot of really cool, there's good clubs there. Shout out Tape Tuesdays. There's a ton of stuff to do in London and you just need to open your eyes. Let's go from New York to London. Let's learn about World War III. I love it.

I hate fish, but let's eat it. World War III, yeah. Two. You're so stupid, bro. You're so dumb. Fuck. I was going to ask you a completely irrelevant question to what we were already talking about. But as a man, I need to know. If you respect a woman, okay, how long are you waiting? Not iffy on if he's ever done it.

Don't go on a tangent. I won't go on a tangent, but I will say this. I respect all women. I love women. Okay, but if you care about and respect a woman, maybe one you just met, care about is pushing it. Respect a woman. How long is...

okay to wait in between sleeping with her and texting her again? Like how much time can pass before it's like he does not respect you or care about you at all? I just need a couple more factors here, okay? Okay. These are kind of irrelevant, but they help paint a picture. Had you just met at a bar and gone home for a flamey hookup,

Had you guys been talking for a little while? Give me just one more data point to work off of. Met at a work event. Okay. Met up later. He had us over for a family little party. Okay. Slept together there. Waited.

Seven days. Okay. Obviously completely unacceptable. Ridiculous. Unless something tragically embarrassed happened. If he came in three seconds, if he couldn't get his dick hard, I can understand if like he had some sort of reason to try to like come up with an excuse or something. How was the sex? Great. Okay. I would say, honestly, how did you get home? He came back and slept over at my house.

So you hook up elsewhere. He then comes back to your house and you sleep over. Did you guys hook up again at your house? And then he actually stays the night on the first night. He leaves the next morning, right? And then there's no – and what was the exit like? No, just really nice. Like, you know, he spent like the morning. It was nice. Did he make a drunken mistake? No.

Well, no, because I've since gone on another date with him. But now I'm like, am I, am I talking to this person who doesn't respect me? Uh, respect and care are two different words. I, I,

Okay, he may respect you but not care. If I hook up with a girl and they leave the night that I hook up with them, I'm texting or calling them that night to make sure that they got into their house okay, to make sure that they're safe. Regardless, if me and a girl have a transfer of that energy, I feel that it is a responsibility of mine to over-respect and over-promote the idea that

that that they're no matter what it is and that they they that that it was a comfortable you know situation like well he knew i was home safe because i was home but like i measure a man in literally like like how much i think i'm like the quality of a man is determined by how quickly i think he texts you after because well because it's deeper than that right it's not just that that represents okay i'm

When a girl, especially very early on after meeting a guy, when a girl decides to have intercourse with a guy, they are in a lot of ways kind of putting themselves out there. If you woke up the next morning and...

said, oh, you know, like maybe I rushed that. Maybe this happened. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. It's nice for the guy that you just had a major like life occurrence with to make you feel comfortable about the deed that you just did with them. So to reach out and be like, hey, I had a lot of fun last night. You're super cool. I'd love to see you again. Whatever it is. What was his excuse for the seven days?

He didn't have a good one. I mean, he does have like a nine to five job. So he was like, but that was my major thing. I was like, he asked me to go out again. Nine to five though. That's what I'm saying. Noon to midnight. One to eight thirty. He asked, or like he was leaving. So he's like, let's go on another, or like, let's go on a date before I go. So I go, but I'm like, I gave him a hard time. I'm like, listen. Second day. Seven days. Like you can't wait seven days. And he was like, I'm sorry.

This one's a little tricky and I'll tell you why he left during the day. If you guys had an adequate enough departure from each other to qualify as the conversation that I generally have over text, um,

I potentially could give him some level of immunity. Yeah, like what's the need? He can't text me like, did you get home safe? He left me at home, you know? I don't know. I'm going to lean against him on this one. Okay, okay. To call him disrespectful, no. But to call him a potential candidate for like boyfriend material, like it just seems like he probably should have hit you up at some point during those seven days. That seems like, as you guys would say, a red flag. But now we have sensed

gone on like a good quality date and now he won't wait a seven days but now I'm like that's in my head and like does he suck?

How many days now? No, he's good. We're talking all the time. I'm just curious, like, do I hate this man? I don't think you hate him. I mean, he's also loaded, so I'm biased. We don't care that he's loaded. Tana, when will you ever change? She knows I don't care. When will you ever change? If you were me, like, if we switched bodies for 24 hours, I think that we would operate very similarly to how we operate in our own bodies. I was you when I was your age.

So when you become my age, 80, you will be a little bit more cognizant of how certain things feel, look, empathy, so on and so forth. I'm very careful now. And to be honest with you- You're still fucking.

And if anything, your currency just might be different than my currency. You're like, this girl is super hot and looks good with me and so on and so forth. And maybe my currency is this guy is rich and he pays for everything. Well, that's their currency. My currency has always been the same.

I have a huge dick and I'm sorry. I'm just going to say that. I believe it when I see it. I saw his sex tape. You did? You showed me a sex tape of yours once. Can we say that? Do you have air drop? All that's fair. I was kidding. It's above average. I wouldn't say it's huge by any means, especially what we've seen this year from people like Len of the Plug. What?

What I'm saying is this, okay? No, no, I'm kidding about all that. My currency is just good energy and a good time. I agree with that. You can't just suck to be around. But I've been really trying to, I've been really trying to, for whatever reason,

And so, yes, you did see me on a date. I did. Yeah, well, who was she? You're going through a breakup right now, aren't you? Weren't you seeing her for a second, right? I think that was like you're like... Yeah. You said you're loose with the term girlfriend. Listen, I'm an impulsive stan, okay? Yeah, it's...

Is this the same girl that you just broke up with? Yeah. Well, I wouldn't use that term. Your commitment. I've had this happen to me. Maybe, maybe impartiality, but I've had this happen to me a little bit. I, um, I just suck, dude. Honestly, I hate to, I hate to use. I love this self-awareness. I hate to use such a blunt term because I'm trying to talk better about myself, but like

I've just realized that at this juncture, on the road 200 days a year, you know, this project, that project, that project. Okay, stop flexing. I'm just kidding. I'm not. No, listen. That's true. But I've just realized that, like, honestly –

I don't know. I don't know. And it might not even just be a timing thing. I've been, I don't know if you guys care about this, but I've been studying this philosopher named Carl Jung lately, right? And he has this entire analysis on neurosis, anxiety, and depression. And he has a way of breaking down this idea that people tend to fall into some of those issues when nonconformists try to force conformity into their lives. If you know a wild person-

Would you qualify me as that? Like, like I'm very abnormal. I don't, I don't apply to any traditionality convention conventionality. And whenever I try, whether it was with Lana, whether it was with whoever since then, I, I, I run into a lot of internal struggle and it affects my life. It affects my work. It affects my, my sanity. And, and, and unfortunately, um,

I think I just need to just put this out there. Like, don't talk to me. You know what I'm saying? Like, I hate to be so hard on myself, but, like, please just don't talk to me. I actually completely, completely understand that. Mike, I literally just tried this. Like, I tried to date, like, a normal, super good guy, like, waiting on me hand and foot. Like, maybe not so funny, maybe not so wild, maybe not so rogue. Like, you know what I mean? And after a while, I was like, I'm going mentally insane trying to conform and make myself this...

golden retriever girl. That's okay. There's been a big increase lately on conversation around traditionality and religion and conventionality and Andrew Tate and this person and that person, whatever. And I'm not saying that any of that is wrong. I love the idea of reintroducing some of those important traditional values back into society. I think we've lost our way in a lot of ways.

But does that mean that you or I or anyone has to fit into this like cookie cutter mold? Absolutely not. I've been in relationships in the past. They've worked out well. I've been comfortable in them. But for some reason lately, I just haven't been able to feel comfortable

very good in them. And that sucks and it's frustrating. Do you feel like, but do you think it's the person or do you think it's like, it's just dating in general? Cause like, what if someone were to come along and you are able to feel that way? So, so, so yeah, that's, that's my hope. I, I like, we won't get into mental illness again tonight, but I have a bit of an obsessive problem. And,

And my mind tends to overthink everything. And, and so there'll be situations that don't require any level of thought. They're just situations that are just happening. Like, and I'll spend a day, two days. And I found that whenever I try to like force any kind of real, uh,

a conformity into my life, I get really deep into that thought process in my head. So, you know, I am me. I love people that are in love. God bless you. And that's incredible. I have a question for you. Yeah. Do you feel like with...

because you and Logan have been, you know, you do a lot of things together and I'm sure in ways some of the things that either one of you do inspire each other, so on and so forth, whatever. Do you feel like seeing him get engaged made you be like, wait, should I be? Unless it was subconsciously, no. We don't spend as much time together as people would love to believe. He lives in Puerto Rico. I live in LA. I see him generally once a month to do two to three podcasts. We talk a couple times a week. That saddens me. But even just your public, the

Affiliation though. You know what I mean? I guess, well, you answered though. You said it. I think what happens sometimes is I get ahead of myself. And I think this, I think a lot of people can fall into this habit. Whereas if you have a problem, um,

If you're a drug addict and you've been used to using heroin every day for 10 years, you may not... Which obviously you don't know much about. You may not give up heroin and also get a corporate job the next day. You know what I'm saying? And fully shift from nonconformity over to like a high level of conformity. Yeah. So right now, my goal...

My goal should have been stop being a degenerate, become a little bit more responsible, and then continue to work down a path towards traditionality. I tried to jump out of a fucking random foursome into a fucking, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. To a chapel. Exactly. It's not as quick as that. And it just, I fucked myself up and unfortunately. I understand that. Yeah. I'm very all or nothing. I think it'll come with time. I feel like you're just going to have to adapt slowly.

But the reason why we're all here in New York is because tomorrow we are taking a sprinter van, the four of us, to a place that I've never been.

To New Haven, Connecticut. Shout out to anybody in CT, Quinnipiac University. You know what we found out is that they have apparently the best pizza in the entire world. The best pizza on the planet. Dave Portnoy, obviously. We just spoke to him about it. We just met him a couple minutes ago. I met him for the first time today. Where is the pizza? And he told us Sally's. We heard something else. Pepe's and Sally's are on the same road.

He said that Sally's is the one. Sally's is the one out of those two. Modern is better than both of them. Zupardi's is incredible. I don't know. You're the burger guy. Listen, I'm not talking to you for pizza. Well, I'm the burger guy, but I'm also from there. Right? Oh, are you? Yeah, and Jeff's also tried both of them as well. I'm so happy.

Can you tell me what that was like for you sitting there?

While they fall apart. On the show, fucking... I mean, it was entertaining because I like to see chaos and I feel like I caused a bit of it. I caused that breakdown between them. Maybe it'll make them grow stronger. Maybe it'll make them hate each other for life. Why did you cause it? That's...

I just asked, I was like, I was like, yo, so if KSI gets knocked out, what happens? You still fight. And then they went on a fucking tangent. I'm better than, you know, I'm better than, you know, I'm better than you. And then me and Mike tried to be like, no, no, it's okay to do that as a fighter. It's good to think that. And then shut the fuck up. We got shit to unpack. Oh, so you like lit a little fire and then like step back. I just keep seeing memes of you straight twiddling your thumbs.

Just YSL Wittek. Nobody else even fucking noticed I was there. And it's hard to not talk, but you know, I don't care really because it's not my show. But for Mike, like he couldn't even get a word in on his own show. I got some good- He got in enough. Sometimes it just has to be that way. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I mean, we've learned if you have people on the show that are willing to run with it and create that type of environment for themselves-

I just wanted to jump in whenever something was completely wrong. Like if somebody delivers something that just, that the entire audience and the whole world knows is not going to be true, I'm going to stick my hand in and be like, yo, like, let's be honest. That's not the case. But otherwise, like so many words, you know, we can only say so many words on podcasts and sentences before they start coming out again and repeat.

I mean, if you challenge me, I can say so much. I can say more words than you can ever imagine. He can say the most words out of anybody on a podcast. You don't even have that many opinions. I don't even care about that many things. Like, how many things are we going to give our opinion on? You know, before you start just saying other opinions. Is this you quitting podcasting? No, sometimes I just lie. I just start making things up sometimes. Will you do another episode of Impulsive? Yeah, of course. Yeah, and like whenever they need. I think they're stopping it, right? Wasn't it the last episode? What?

break it all canceled. Yeah, it's, I believe that we're probably going to be going into a break because Logan is in fight camp. Are you going to keep it up by yourself? That's the conversation right now. Is it going to be me and Jeff hosting? Is it going to be me, Jeff, and a, a,

co-hosts. The female Paul. Is there a female Paul? Yeah, I mean, I'm not quite sure what's going to happen yet. Am I going to take that time to finally get my own shit? I don't know what is going to happen in that time period. Good job breaking it. Yeah, thank you, honestly, for the break. I know, dude. No, it's fine. Stop. I'm kidding. I think we talked about it. No, please give us the exclusive. We need views up. So we actually just were starting the conversation on why we're all here. You want to break it?

We're here. We're doing a show, a live show. What's going on? I thought you guys did this podcast yesterday. Why was he going to read that? We meant to, but Tana told too many stories she wasn't supposed to tell. I told the story. This is a Bruce Buffer episode. I told too many stories I couldn't and canceled.

Like literally 50 minutes of an hour long episode. Like what? The story about you having sex with that person that she shouldn't have. Which is honestly like the theme of our whole show. Yeah. I fucked the help. She's not the help. She's a nice woman with a good job. I employ on a salary and I had sex with her. Did you have any thoughts on- What's new, huh? What's new? Oh!

Oh, here you go with the move. Let's bring up the Jeffrey Shore because the finale has just come out and, you know, people are waiting. Oh, I heard it was pretty crazy. Crazy hookups. You lied to me several times. Get the fuck out of here. What the fuck did I lie about? There were just a lot of cameras that I don't think I knew about and I would have maybe moved a little different. Or I was so drunk I

didn't know about it you're that second one it was the second one okay you know and that's reality TV you know this about it you've done it before I did it I made mistakes in reality TV there's no secret to that you love to talk about them all the time every chance you get he was the main character in Jersey Shore yeah that's what I'm talking about not his season of bad

Did she make out with Steven? Yeah, but I was acting. No, I text Steven and that was a bit. It was acting though. Yes, but what I will say is it brought me back to like my MTV days. Like I love this where it's like I come to this table and I sit down and I know – like the camera on you 24-7, I think I'm realizing like I may just be too insane for that, you know? There was only like two hours. I think that's made for you. But we stretched it out. We stretched it out.

We were there for two days, right? The Jersey Shore takes two months to film all that. But the third day, we were all just, it was awkward because the fight happened. Now, in the videos, you never know what's real and what's not. Be careful there. There's gum on that. Also, I feel like even just with our friend group, none of us really know what's a bit or what's not sometimes. And then things kind of, sometimes, not always. Just take it as it's all a bit.

It's all over. Yeah, and then all of a sudden Jeff and Ryan are like actually fighting in cold blood and I'm like, oh my God, what's going on here? Well, Ryan was actually fighting. I was just kind of like figuring it out what was going on. But it's just like I haven't been drunk in so long that I forget what it's like to be drunk. Like I completely forgot it. And like I'm trying to understand people when they're drunk. Like I could feed off energy and like get into it and I feel like I'm kind of drunk too when I'm in that. But when people get to the point where they're like,

just completely not the same person anymore. I'm like, how does that happen? How do you make that switch? Very easily for some. Yeah. Tigers all have some. Yeah. What did you say?

It's immediate. It's one drink. She's gone. So why are we here? She's been trying to get it out for like the past 20 minutes. It's fine. Honestly, the tangents are good. Well, we're here for the canceled live shows and you were doing a 10 out of 10 burger pop up and we are, this is a proper crossover episode, right? I guess there's really no point in like giving the full spiel because by the time this episode comes out and no one will, it'll all be over. Like the weekend. I mean, the tour will still be going on your guys as well. Your burger thing. Friday. No, this comes out Friday. Oh,

Oh, oh, if you're watching this from New Haven, Connecticut or the surrounding area, the tri-state, you go to Quinnipiac University, you're, you know, back at Yale. God forbid you go to Yale and you watch this fucking show. Nobody who watches this show goes to Yale. Not one person has ever went to Yale, absolutely ever has.

Come to the 1010 Burger Papa via restaurant Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Tickets for, I think, Toad's Place show are sold out, right? Yes, we have sold out all three shows. Wow. And we are so excited. So if you're going to that show, you may be seeing special guests at that show. Sit like this. I'll fucking sit this way. Special guests in question. If you don't look at one person too much, you might get canceled. Yeah, what's the deal with that? I can't look at Brooke because I have no peripheral vision.

Wait, no. That was like a – sometimes there's like these stories that get made up. One of them is like me and Jeff's imaginary feud. Yeah. Look, the truth is I hate Brooke and I can't stand the sight of her. So that's why I didn't look in that direction. The funny thing about it is if that actually were the case because I tend to always side with her. If we ended up in like a two-on-two like battle somehow, it's actually crazy to imagine how easily Brooke and I would win that.

that I mean that's absolutely like like I've never been so sure of anything in my life depending on what things like you want sportsmanship maybe it would be a bit testier but like from a debate standpoint like you guys are smoked like all of

the brain powers on this side of the room. You talk about shit I don't care about, bro. You want to talk about politics and fringe this shit and fucking far or whatever? Nobody cares, bro. You want to talk about abortion and like... I'm not going to lie. I was about to back down fully and be like, I think you're right, Mike. Because I think they would just...

Gaslight so fucking hard that it'd be like, you're the gaslighter. You're telling them that their gaslighters is gaslighting. We should, maybe your audience will tell me if this is right or not, but there may be a format there.

There may be a format there. Like a two-on-two? Yeah, it could be vlog content. I don't know what it is. Yeah, that's what we all need, another podcast. We should do like a fight. That's all we all need at this moment. Look, my vision this way, like I can't see who's over there. I could see you guys here. So if I wanted to talk to somebody there, I would have to be like this, you know, the whole time. No, but it was, I think it was more me than you, but I think that since it was like on our show, they blamed you.

I think I get... Fair. I sometimes have a hard time differentiating between when you're telling a joke and when you're not. Me? Yeah. What? You can't tell? So I get scared to be funny sometimes around you because you don't laugh at things. Who's dry? So much of my value is... No, dry humor. No, but I place so much value in people laughing at me. So if I make a joke and someone doesn't laugh...

After like two jokes where you didn't laugh, I never made a joke again. To be fair, when I met Jeff, I kind of learned what he liked, the type of jokes you find funny. Because here's what I think. I think 98% of what I say is a fucking banger. And that's a problem I'll work out on my own. Yeah, me too. But I know there's a 40% of those bangers that Jeff will laugh at. But if I'm making like a Twitter TikTok joke or if I'm making like a nothing. Like something like a little, yeah. Yeah.

I started getting insecure so then I never wanted to speak again in the presence of you. No, get the fuck out of here. Now I'm fine. Now I'm good. I choose to be here doing this with you guys. I think you're all really talented. Even Mike. I give Mike shit all the time. I talk shit on him all the time. But Mike is one of the best podcasters in the game. He's very smart. I know I just gave him shit. Like I said, he talks about all that bullshit. But that's good to know. You should know that stuff if you're going to be a podcaster. That's what happens in the real world. We're like gay son, thought daughter.

daughter yeah and I you know repeat every week

That's why we're good together. Cause you care about that stuff and I don't. And I think it's a good balance, you know? And, and also I think both of us also, and like, let's talk about Jeff for a second. Like one of my favorite shows to do. I think both of us have the ability to go to the other side as well. Like you're not like, you're not not deep. Like you can hit, you can, you can get into certain topics. If I bring up a topic, you can certainly get there. You have a wealth of, of life experience. You've been through a lot of trauma. You know what the fuck is going on.

Yeah. You don't, you don't, you don't track a lot of the same topics as me, but like, yeah, but also, but also who's, who's watching the show. Like people watching canceled, they might want to know like how many cameras exactly were on Jeffrey Shore. Like that might be a topic that I don't know what interest this, but I'm just saying, how many cameras were there on me talking about like me talking about like,

commitment issues and red flags and shit like that. I don't know if that's for them. We talk about that. Sometimes we do talk about that. Or like Carl Jung philosophies. Like something tells me they don't give a shit about that. Yeah, you lost the girls. Okay, sorry. But I appreciate it. I'm always down for a conversation like that off camera, but I think that the viewers, I think that, you know, if you're signing up to cancel to,

I'm not saying you can't learn a few things emotionally, but I'm saying like for the most part, it's like you're sitting. Got it. Got it. Just turned 9-11. I caught that on camera. You're here to talk about. You see that? You're here to talk about dicks. Silly shit. You're here to talk about dicks. Not so much that, but it's like when we do give people like life advice or try to like sound insightful, people are like, you guys are the least qualified people.

And people enjoy sometimes the trauma and other things like that. They like when we get deep occasionally, but I think people want to feel like they're sitting down with us on a couch. For sure. Like the way it's like sorority girls wake up the next morning after their night out and they all get on one bed. Oh, that was my favorite thing. You're like, I did this last night. I think that's the vibe of cancer.

I think people shouldn't be on a podcast if they're under 25. There should be like a rule, like you can't drink if you're 21. Because if you don't, if you're not above 25, for you guys, it's different because I don't know, you're just different. I'm 25. I'm 26. Okay, yeah. Are you copying what I said on Bradley Martin's podcast, which was exactly this? I didn't. I watched it on two speed and I was just waiting for you to talk about me. I tweeted it too.

I just said if you're 125 years old. Don't you have Ryan and Steven on all the time? They fucking derail my show every time. They have no life experience. I hate it. They don't know anything. What do they bring to the show? Ryan's good. But Ryan is lying. Ryan's 35 years old. Ryan, there's no way to be fucking... Did you not try to go to college? No, I went to college. Oh, okay. Yeah, but you need to go through it. You need to live life. Yeah, you have to have some kind of like...

To learn, to learn, to learn. Do you want to know the one reason, the one way I know that I, the greatest thing about this show is it's so easy to know that I've lost one of the co-hosts attention because Tana will send a novel out text message while I'm talking.

Like she literally will pick up her phone and be like, with the vape in one hand, just be like, mm-hmm. But Mike, I'm not going to lie. She's a multitasker. My girl is a multitasker. Oh, you got those nails off, huh? You got rid of your long nails? Wait, these are cute. Oh, this is because she hooked up with a woman. I like that. It's not because I hooked up with a woman. This has been going for me. That's fucking hot. You see those? It is. He did tell me that that was one of his first deterrents of me. Mike, here's the thing.

I think you are a very profound, vast, knowledgeable, multifaceted individual. But sometimes you can be going on a tangent and I could spark notes what you're going to say. I might know. I know you well. I hear a lot of this. No, it just depends on your...

appetite and attention span. Like I would consider you to be like a vine baby, like Logan, like you would prefer everything to be said in six seconds. Like I fucked her and it was, and that was the end of it. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, like, like sometimes it takes a little bit more to get. What are you talking about? What's the point of even talking? What were you guys saying? I don't know. I think you're awesome. Whose attention span is bad? Not mine. Have I satisfied my needs here? Can you Jeff? We got a dinner. Okay, go to your room.

The chain smokers. Who else is there that I don't give a fuck about? None of those people are there. I just don't want to be late just because John Kusschmortz is there. Did you lie? Because you said you can't be late.