43: Tana’s Exes are Dating - Ep 43
01:24:38 Share

Ryan Reynolds here from Int Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices

So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless. How did they get 30, 30, how did they get 30, how did they get 20, 20, 20, how did they get 20, 20, how did they get 15, 15, 15, 15, just 15 bucks a month? Sold! Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes each detail. Hello.

Hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast. I'm gonna hear that when I enter the gates of like purgatory. Do you think so? It just there's something about the feeling of sitting down on this couch and knowing I am about to ruin my own life. You're about to ruin your own life and anyone else that's collateral. Oh, it's scary. Someone just told me that the other day. They were like, no one's ever gonna want to be around you because it's just scary. And I'm like, honestly, really good point. But it's like... And I'm starting hot.

I'm starting off hot today. We are three episodes back to back to back of just like turmoil the whole way through. Yeah. We're going to need a guest soon just so people don't start dropping like flies. That's the thing. We see your comments where people say like they don't want guest episodes as much. Like obviously some you enjoy, but like it's scary when it's just her and I because it's like we only have so much we can say without actually ruining our lives. Yeah. It's like either y'all get a guest or I get a 5150 hold. And that's totally up to you guys in the comments below. But yeah.

hopefully you'll choose the latter um with that being said what's going on so i just went to the jersey shore oh for the first time ever in my life um no disrespect to the people of jersey shore i don't think i'll be attending again you don't wait why i just you you

You get there and you see exactly why they shot that show there. Like it is like so, so chaotic. I kept telling people, I was like, I'm from Vegas. And like this city is scaring the shit out of me. Like it was just so fucking feral. How old were they when they all did that?

I think in their 20s, I'm assuming. I'm like, maybe because they were young, but they had to have been of age. But it's also just the type of person, like even just Jeff being there, it like brought out this side of Jeff where I was like, in another life, you could have been like...

Or like Pauly D. Like wasn't he? Like Jeff was on. Yeah, he had a like eight second feature on one episode and we'll never shut the fuck up about it. And I think it's iconic and I consider him a main character. So does he. And we can unpack that Jersey trip more if you'd like in a little bit. I would like. I was shooting an episode of Jeff FM there with Jeff and.

I receive the infamous FaceTime call from Chris Miles. It's like he knows when you're podcasting. He probably gets like a little ring in his ear. Bible, that man does not call me that often. At all. Like at all. So at this point, it's become a bit where Chris FaceTimes me and I answer it on the podcast because usually what comes out of his mouth is just like very funny. He never starts with hello. It's always like a statement. Yes. And what does he say, Tanneroni?

Well, it's just like, do I want to set it up a little bit as well? I should set it up. Set the scene. Set the scene. Well, you know, actually, maybe I'll just say what he says and then we'll backtrack and I'll get to why I was so angry. All right. He says, Mod Sun and Sahara Ray are dating. Are dating. Wait, so dating is crazy because how long? It hasn't been a week since you were like kind of dating him.

Okay. So, okay. I'm going to backtrack now. Okay. I'm actually, I'm just going to go like all the way back. Right. Start at the beginning. I started dating Mod Sun. I don't know when the first time I can't like pinpoint it, but essentially 2020. Right. Yeah. Maybe 2020. Right. When that pandemic hit. Fuck. I think I'm going to shit myself. Fuck. God, you're so impressed. You never cease to amaze me. How are you? Okay. Okay.

I think talking about that gave me so much anxiety that my body immediately had to shit it out. It's a real response. Like, that really just happened to me. Like, my hands were just on the wall. I was just sweating. Like, I had to take pants off. Like, I saw God. Oh. Anyways. Okay. Oh, God. It's so funny, too, because, like, he's going to see this. And he's going to be like, that's why I want Sahara. I know she shits, too. Anyways, man.

I dated him for the first time in 2020. And I've never really like talked about this, but in the beginning of us dating, I kind of felt like...

Yes, we really liked each other and we fell in love over like a couple years of the whole like Bella situation, you know, like and I think that towards the end, you know how we felt towards Bella almost kind of drove us together, which is kind of a trauma bond. Yeah. Beginning, you know, and I in the beginning, I very much underlyingly felt like he was.

Obviously he loved me and that the trauma bond was real and like, you know, we liked each other a lot But there was the underlying thing I think for him of like this is gonna piss off Bella like there was a little yeah It was like spiteful a little brinkled on that Delicious maybe it was like it was like just a bonus thing but like still a thing Yes, and obviously over time then we fell for each other and developed a real relationship and whatever and

Towards the end, it was quite a tumultuous one on both sides. I think I... I mean, again, I was like 20, so I don't think I was... You were being 20. He was 33, and I wanted to be 20. Yeah. And it was like, don't have an OnlyFans, don't do this, don't whatever. And I was very much like, I'm not ready for all this. And we break up, and he writes Karma and various other terribly...

Kind of a slay. But mean songs about me. And he's one of the only breakups I've ever had where we just absolutely never talked to him. We talked about this on Cancel. Yeah, that was crazy because we were close at the time and all of a sudden he just wasn't there anymore. Yeah, and we just did not talk. And I went and did my little thing. And I would say a couple weeks after we broke up, he was with Avril. And it very much was giving like...

It's always the person that they tell you not to worry about. Cause like they were working together while we were dating. And so that definitely made me be like, Oh sick. So the whole time I'm always so scary. Like when like guys go off to film movies or something like Brad, Jelena or Brad, Jelena. Yeah. That,

That scares me. Like I'm at home in your bed with your dogs and you're in the studio with Avril and what were you thinking that whole time, you know? And I felt like it was also, he definitely probably really enjoyed being like, I just broke up with you and now I'm with Avril Lavigne. Well, yeah. As anyone would. Like we have to remove you from that situation. Slay. I 100% slay and I couldn't deny it. But again, I felt like that was a little sprinkle of that on that Sunday for him as well. Yes.

And then they go off to date. They get engaged. I very much, I always kind of felt like when they were dating, like if they ever broke up, Maude and I would talk again. Like I just felt it. But then when they got engaged, I very much was like, okay, we can put that thought to rest. You know what I mean? Whatever. And then one lovely night, I am sitting at the house and a friend shows me a TMZ article of Avril with not Maude.

Definitely not Maude. I'm scared to say. I'm going to leave him out of it, okay? There's enough characters here that we can just let him live for a week. Yeah, Michael. I would say 72 hours after that article broke, I receive a text. Of course. Of a screenshot of what was happening.

Mine and Maude's song when we were together. Classic move. From Mr. Maude himself. To slide right back in. And is just like, I think that night we had like a seven hour phone call. And just it's immediately like back into it, you know? And he's just like, I've always loved you, Tana Marie. You're my soul, blah, blah. And I'm very much like just.

It's funny to hear, you know? Like, karma's a bitch. You hope I choke and die. After all of that, you hope... Get something you can't get rid of. He... A lyric in his song was that he hoped I got a lifelong STD from someone after we broke up. So then to hear him, like, I would just do anything to have you back. I was very much sitting there like, hee-hee, like, hee-hee. You know? Yes. And...

So then we keep talking and thankfully at the time he was on tour. Like I was so grateful for that because I was like, you would be over at my house immediately. Yeah. And this is going to give me a couple of weeks to like process. Ease back into it. Process that, you know. Think about it. And eventually he comes back and...

He's in the middle of moving houses. So he doesn't, he's like homeless. And I'm like, I love this vulnerable state that you're in. Oh, you need a bed? Come over. And we just start hanging out a lot. And it's just like, we're grocery shopping and we're,

I'm helping him house hunt and then he's helping me house hunt and then we're wearing each other's clothes. It's like, it's like literally like that three years of time just never happened. Yeah. Just right back where you left off. And eventually we have this conversation where I'm like, listen, you, you like to love and you like to bomb. And, and,

I am now much more emotionally mature that I am aware of this. I think the first time we started dating within a week, he like bought me a piano and I was like, Oh my God, this man just literally right there. And I was like, Oh my God, he just loves me. And looking back, it was like, I mod was really what taught me. Like I remember Googling. Like that was your first experience with love bombing. Yeah. And our relationship being like, Oh, okay.

Am I being love bombed by a narcissist? Like, you know, like... Yeah, I feel like you're finally getting to the point where you're like, okay, that's just not sustainable. So I had a conversation with him where I was like, listen, I don't want this. You know, if you mean all these things you say, then you can take the time to cherish this. I also...

They don't really want to be by your side on tour while you're singing songs about Avril and while you're releasing an album about Avril. And I get it. That's your journey. You have to do that, you know? It is too, but they were also in such a public relationship that it's almost just a bad look too. You don't want to be like the rebound, back to his ex kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. So I was like, we can keep hanging out, whatever. But it definitely gets to the point where

He and bless his heart and we had a lot of conversations about this where he's like I'm a very very jealous person and that's why we would fight when we dated and that's what scares me about being with you and I'm I'm very much like listen you know if I'm dating someone I am I will be loyal to you I was loyal to you like I treated you amazing but if you're gonna hate a caption of my tick tock or a story I tell on my podcast. Yeah like or that I.

Go out to an event and Chris is there and we're friends and you know if you're gonna hate all these intricacies of my life then I'm probably not the person for you, you know and Then he comes correct and it's like you're right. I'm so sorry I love you and you're right and I have a lot of growing to do and I want therapy and I want to be with you and blah blah blah blah blah You know, he goes on tour to Europe. He invites me. Oh, this little hair is just terrible Hey ma

He invites me to Europe to go on tour with him and is like, come to Paris. Like, I want to... Where you got engaged. Yeah. I want to rewrite how I feel about this city. I love you. I miss you calling me every day from this tour. And I'm like, I...

No and thankfully I was very busy Good for you I would have been on the first flight No thankfully I was very very busy Because had I not been I would have been And now I don't know where we would be

And so I go to Turks on my birthday trip and he's like trying to see if he can make it on the last day or so. Like wants to be there. We're FaceTiming the whole time. This was last week. Yeah. We're FaceTiming the whole time in Turks. Like whole... I remember he called you at midnight. Called me at midnight. Sent me this loving paragraph. Sends me flowers in Turks. I'm going... Oh, I forgot. I'm... First of all, getting...

We were just, I still have tan lines from Turks. Like this is not long enough. Getting flowers to Turks and Caicos when you're in like Sicily is the hardest possible fucking thing to do ever. There was a lot of coordinating behind the scenes that was happening. He sends me these flowers and these are some budge flowers too. Like I was like, ooh, like thanks, Maude. I was a little excited. They're girlfriend flowers. Dear Tanini, may all the twists and turns in life always lead us to each other.

It's not living if it's not with you. Love, Mod Sun. In parentheses, idiot. Because I had just yelled at him for, you know, being jealous and whatever. Right.

The last line is like our song. Like we've always said we'd get married to that song by the 1975. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I cry. I call him. I'm like, I really love you. This was so sweet. This was so thoughtful. He's like about to go on stage and perform some show. And he's like telling them like, hold the show. I don't care. I want to talk to her. Like, did it a cute as fuck is texting me.

Like, I want to see you the second you get home. Do you want me to pick you up from the airport? And we... And I said this on the last episode. I've heard that line before. Exactly. And don't say it if you don't, you know, whatever. At all. I can't wait to get to that. And so...

I'm texting him the whole day I'm going home. He's like, safe flight. Like, I'll see you later, whatever. I land, nothing. Ghost, obviously. Someone else. Rat. Three or four more days go by. And he's texting me and he's being like, I want to hang out with you. I want to see you. Like, what are you doing? And then I'll be like, oh, I'm just at home chilling. Just finished a podcast. Nothing. Next day. Sorry, I fell asleep.

You didn't. I know the type. And it's so frustrating. You did not fall asleep. And it just this keeps happening now for a couple of days where our texts just suck. And that, you know, it's like every eight hours and they're short text. And finally, I literally just text him and I'm like, what the fuck is the point of this? Like, yeah, three texts a day is just not like what? Like, I'm just I'm wasting thumb time. Seriously. So much fucking thumb time. And it's like.

Just all of this Like you're gone on the first tour You miss me so much You come home We're like playing house And you guys actually Do have the opportunity now To see each other Yeah and now we're both in LA And it's like Like I was just very much like All of this for what You know what I mean Yes And he essentially just says What he had just said A couple weeks prior Like I hate the things That you do and that you post So it's been off putting Yeah so was he He was mad about like What the other guy Picking you up from the airport Or whatever I guess yeah But like

You could have picked me. You didn't know that that was happening. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're right. It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know. You weren't there. Who was going to drive me home? Because it couldn't be an Uber, obviously. No, but...

But it's just this whole deeper thing. Like, just like, I hate everything you do, essentially. So I just annotate the text. I'm very confused because it's like, we just had this conversation a week prior. You apologized. You said I was right. You annotated his text? Yeah, just thumbs up. God, you're brilliant. Suck my dick. Oh, I thought you meant like you literally went in and like,

Like made notes on it Oh no but that's hilarious No I don't have notes Because I've said it all before Yeah And we just had this conversation You just apologized And you send me these Fucking elaborate flowers And turks with this You might as well be A marriage proposal Of a note on the Goddamn flowers And what changed between Last week and now All of a sudden Like you're still And I just don't like The emotional wishy-washy Rollercoaster of it all And I've also said You know like If we You've been official With me before And when we were official I was like

I wasn't tweeting and posting things that you hated really. Occasionally you would just be dramatically mad over shit. But like, you know that I know how to be a great girlfriend that you clearly loved so much. So if right now we're in this talking stage and you want girlfriend behavior for me, then man the fuck up. Send more than three texts a day if he wants you to be. I'm not going to give you something when you're not reciprocating that. So on and so forth.

So essentially I take that text as like we're done because where are we going to go from here until you either want to accept me and get so much therapy that you need for so many things because when was the last time you were literally ever single ever? Oh my God. Um, and Hey, I'm Ari. Um,

Where are we going to go from here? It's so scary when people like literally can't spend one second by themselves. And like I like Maude, but that's like it is like has to be a major personal issue. And that everything you do derives from the enjoyment of spite and

from the previous situation. Yeah, like it's almost like he's getting like really high on this like revenge. And it's like you're 36. All the time. Like you're 36. I'm like, I don't want to play this cat and mouse game for the rest of my life. I don't want to worry that one day I'm going to marry you and then we divorce and then tomorrow he's with ****. Sorry, Patrick. I'm on go. Are you talking about

Of course the fuck I am. Yeah, it's just scary because it's like you lose him how you get him. If he's always out for this weird revenge, it's like he's obviously going to do it to you. So as you know, I have not been dating Chris Miles for a very long time. We hang out and we are friends and...

I know, I know, I know. But I'm saying in the time that I was with Vegas Boy and, you know, Taken for a while, Chris was dating this girl, Sahara Ray. And even when Chris started dating Sahara, I received 150 texts that day from every single person in LA like, what the fuck is going on? Because I was friends with her. I didn't really care. I think they were better friends than me.

Her and I were And like Honestly It was a couple That made sense to me And I was very much Looking at that With the mindset of like If they're happy I'm happy Yeah But obviously Because Chris and I Were both taken Obviously because Chris and I Were both taken We really couldn't Hang out or be friends Or whatever And then They break up

Chris and I decide to implore the idea of a potential friendship again. Which we've talked about before. It's tough. And it is a tough journey that I am still terribly navigating. But I'm just telling the truth. That's what happened. And so after Maude sends me this whole fuck you text, essentially, Chris was having like a party at his house that night.

And I was like, what do I have to... And even if I was talking to Maude, I still probably would have went. I'm just friends with Chris. And those are all my friends and I love to see them. However, I go and... Again, had I been talking to Maude, I probably wouldn't have posted being there. Maybe. Which maybe is a bad thing to say. Not because I have anything to hide, but just because I think it would have started a necessary drama. Yeah, well, because if you know it's going to upset... Yeah. Yeah. And...

I go and I get there. And you post it. And I drink a little. And I drink and in my little drunk brain, that it'd be a really good idea to make a TikTok with Chris. Oh boy. And boy did you. Since has been deleted, I've made more since that won't be deleted. I was so worried about you this morning. I'm like, dude, we need to have somebody else in that account. Yeah.

A conservator. I've been a little rogue on TikTok lately and maybe I'll chill, maybe I won't. Who fucking knows? But... Day by day. Never really have, you know, never really have chilled on TikTok. Anyways. So you posted TikTok. Obviously, Maude sees it. And maybe Sahara sees it. Oh, perhaps. Yeah. And I go to the Jersey Shore and I'm shooting an episode of Jeff FM and Chris calls me. Maude's son and Sahara Ray are on a date at a concert together. Public as fuck.

Which to me gives I'm trying to rub it in your face. Think about the amount of text I got with Chris and Sahara.

And Sahara Like I've received Three texts about it today Yeah because now It's just It seems so deliberate Like a calculated attack On Tana Mongeau They went Yeah Like just Such a calculated attack And it's And that's There's no such thing As a coincidence like that That is too And she's fun And he's fun I'm sure they're having fun I'm not I don't think they're sitting there Over dinner Just talking about me But I think

in yeah you gave him the idea for sure i know in mod's head he's like tana fucking hates this and i love that i don't know if in sahara's head she thinks chris hates this i don't i don't know her well enough to know that you know what i mean i do i've never met her i'm like she knows they go to some fallout boy concert and that night i received 10 texts from 10 different people at the concert of photos of them i personally sent you some i didn't take them there i didn't take them

Really? See, that's... And they're just full force with it on Instagram stories. I know. Like, baby, baby, honey, kissy, whatever. I'm like... See, I didn't want to believe it. Okay? I was like, there's no way. Because I think Kylie of Maud, you know, I always talk about how I like him. Yeah, but you devil's advocate for that man a little too hard. A little. 36. Yeah, no. Listen, I'm changing my... I'm changing my stat... Like, stance. I ran into him the other day at Benny Blanco's. And...

He comes with Sahara Ray hand in hand. I look at him and I do this. She can fully see me. I'm going. And he walks right over to me. And he's like saying. She wouldn't tell me this, by the way, until this podcast. So I hope you guys know I'm like clenching my asshole right now. It's anticlimactic because it's like not that much happened. But I told him, I was like, come on. Like, what are you like? You know, you're doing this on purpose. And he was like, you know what? I just have to see all these videos of Tana running around town with 10 different guys. Like, I'm not doing anything wrong. And I was like.

I mean... But if that's your response as to why you are in your new relationship, uh... Yeah. And again... It's just like, why her? I'm not your girlfriend. If that's the case, yeah, maybe move on and step outside of, like, your guys' thing, but don't go straight to your ex's ex. That's a... That's an attack, in my opinion. If we were the same age, like, if Chris pulled some shit like that, or... You'd be like, okay. Like...

Because you're young, you're in the L.A. scene, you do dumb shit in your 20s. Your brain is so fully fucking formed. Yeah, but at 36, you should be trying to actually settle down with somebody and it's not going to be somebody that you're using for revenge. Like, find a wife. Well, I mean, he tried. Sorry. My bingo card in the past two months is just fucking horrible.

full of shit that I thought would never fucking happen. You should have seen me in the Jersey shore. I was doing backflips. I didn't even know how to physically process that. That was like a real thing happening. Like I can only just to anyone else who wants to fuck me over. Can you give it 30 days? Yeah. Because I'm going to be in a straight jacket. Yeah. It's a lot at once. I feel like, I don't know, but what, so, so now, now what? With this,

Sahara and Sahara Sahara Sahara and mod are they like to actively together I from to my knowledge and if they're happy then so be it and this really you're so big I'm you're you guys are stupid I don't mean that yeah I'm kidding I'm kidding this is nothing against Sahara by the way like I just want to say that like

Like I wear her swimwear We'll comment on a photo Now and again Like I'm not saying We're gonna you know Go get our nails done together But she's probably I mean she's probably pissed too She's like Chris is back With his ex Yeah That's what I'm saying This just has From every angle It does honestly make sense

Like I, you know what I mean? It is like a full math problem. Like everybody's doing their part perfectly. Yeah, that's all I have for today's episode. Thank you for tuning in. No, I don't know. I would be infuriated, but I almost feel like you shouldn't even give him the attention because he so badly wants a rise out of you that we're like, we're doing exactly. I'm not furious. I'm more like shocked. Shocked.

Like, is it shocking though? Like he's given you every reason to believe he would do exactly that. I still, for some reason, this feels like a new high level. Yeah. Like just the Chris of it all. The like, just it's, it is crazy. You think it can't get worse than then it does every fucking time. That's life. But it does. Um,

I definitely don't want to be with someone who moves like that. And I hope one day we can be friends, but also we've never been good at that. He's a great guy, but I don't think you should end up with him at all. It's not living if it's not with you, Tana. I hope to God that he finds somebody maybe in her 30s that is ready to settle down that has no connection to his past. That can also just help someone unpack being a man child at 36. Okay. It is a lot to be with somebody who... Why am I teaching you to grocery shop?

I why am I I'm all people yeah that's really good for you maybe I thought that at the time three weeks ago not anymore oh fucking hell um yeah so I hung out with men last night are trash and that we are just friends you're about to get into contrary to everyone we are not running anything back we are just friends who do what slay okay you know what

think that that's horrible yeah it just but imagine also like being chris and i in this situation no one else can fully relate to that yeah like laugh about yeah you can have at least a few days but then you have to get back on your on your grind and and be a normal person and and cut him off i'm so sorry but we have to you were doing so well and honest to god i feel like you're just a better person all around when he's not in your life love you chris sorry

Yeah, well, I'm just, I mean, I like, I can sit here and podcast and be funny and fun, but I think it's very obvious to everyone. Like I'm, I'm in a pretty dark place right now. Like I'm just going through it. Like it just, I feel like I haven't been able to just like catch a little break in a while. So it shows. Life just keeps getting thrown at you. Yeah. But that will end. It will pass. And.

We will be good. We need to go on a little retreat. Maybe we go to Wyoming or something. Chris Miles just texted me where to hose that. He has to know. He is like, he has to know. He's like on the balcony probably. Like how? Like how?

It is really strange. I think men are horrible and I'll tell you why. I'm so excited. I want to talk about the text I received from you this morning. Oh my, and I need to go back and really reread that because I was not in a good place. So I talked last week about Mr. Flaky Flake, the guy who like, I didn't know if he like ended things with me, confirmed.

Um, never talked to me again after that little AI, like weirdo response that he sent me. Okay. And so it was like, I just was like, you know what? Move on. Whatever. I'm hesitant to even say it because I don't want the man to think that I like would ever like dream of him. But I did have a dream about him last night. Okay. I had a dream that he hooked up with one of my friends.

And I woke up like upset about it. This morning. I get a screenshot from Tana. Because I am not a Mindy. Him asking Tana.

To go to coffee this morning. Hi, I see you're in New York. Are you going to this event? I left New York. Tragic. Aren't you Brookie's ex-BF, love? Is what I said. So I didn't love that part because he isn't my ex-boyfriend. I don't give a fuck. I know, but I just feel like that kind of implies that I said he was my boyfriend. But the way that he was acting. No, you slayed otherwise. Keep going. You're already a little shiesty for getting at me for years and then I don't want it and then getting at you and then it's like...

And interesting And sorry I don't mean I don't mean like he's like my scraps It just No well that's I already I confronted him about that Not confronted him But like I spoke to him about that In the very beginning Because I was like First of all I think you're too young for me Second of all I don't like the fact that you Like actively pursued My best friend before me Like that Obviously that's going to make me Like feel weird Yeah And he had such good Like reassuring answers For both things So I was like whatever I'll move past it

Now, a week after you send me this literal, like, horrible, horrible, like, text to end the situation, you're going to text my best friend and ask her to coffee. It's so... He goes...

I don't know if I'd go that far, but also I'm here alone. So if you were here, can we not get coffee? Yeah, no. And I send back a bullet point list. One, not in New York. Two, you got at me for a long time and then slid in on Brooke and were with her. Three, I supported that. Four, you broke up with her with a PR response LMAO. Five, love you long time as a friend, but there's no need to get coffee. Yes, too.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he actually just was like oh like we're both in New York let's get coffee and I'm gonna believe that for my own little like pea brain and I I could see that but also just like why why but I I texted him and I was like hey not not that I had any problem really with your text I just like I want I don't want him to think I care so much about this situation because it really I like I said last week it wasn't that big of a deal yeah but I texted him and I was like hey sorry about that like

I wouldn't I would just wouldn't have said anything at all. You know what I mean? And so he was like, I'm sorry you felt that way about the text. And he like went into detail, I guess. Well, actually, no, he didn't go into any detail. He alluded to like this situation that is the reason he had to do it and whatever. And I just was like.

I don't know if you waste months of my time and you end the whole thing with like a little paragraph. I'm like, you have no respect for me at all, which I hate. Maud's son. But like my nose is so red. Sometimes this happens to me. And this is the kick of it all. I send it to him and he goes, why don't we get coffee?

no the fuck that's not what that stupid motherfucker said i swear on my life he said no the fuck no no no i have to show you the exact has anyone ever met a man with a fucking brain no the audacity literally i said i said just woke up to the tana screenshots and for the record i wouldn't have let her say that i hope you know that and he said he said ha ha ha it's all good but hey why don't we get coffee

My jaw was on the ground. He said, so I can explain what's going on in person. I think things will make more sense. Okay. Just walking around with little. Listen to me. You already told me and not so many words that you do not want to talk to me anymore. And now you want me to sit across from you at a little coffee table and let you say it to me in more detail. Like, I don't need to know. Like, I mean, you should have done it to begin with, but now it's too late. So I just was like, okay, like, don't do that.

Dude And I got like one of these Like I don't want to show the screen But it was just like This like whole long thing Elaborate thing That is just not true Like men lie And that's it Dude I I just want to put this out here Really quickly Just one sentence I am a fucking idiot Okay

P-Brain rattling around up here like a fucking maraca but men Floor me to the point that it makes me feel like albert fucking einstein. That's the thing. That's so frustrating I think that's why I like got so angry about the situation today because at first I wasn't even that mad and the more I thought about it I was like god he must think I am Such an idiot and that's what's frustrating to me about it because i'm like I don't believe anything that you're saying but it's like

Just the nerve of it all Like The nerve First of all Ghosting 101 Is supposed to include Like you're supposed to include All the people around them For at least like a month Like And like well I'm gonna go get coffee With you in New York City Imagine you just like Like he hasn't spoken to me And you just like Go get coffee with him Imagine

Imagine you. Like, Tana, what are you doing? Oh, I'm a coffee with... Oh! Oh my God. I didn't even think about it because I don't even like... I couldn't imagine you actually doing it. Because what the... I just...

And it's like, again, I didn't even like... The situation wasn't that big to me, but it's like you wasted my time. I hate when someone wastes my time. That's also just respect. And again, I hate when somebody can't just be honest about a situation. Tell me you're not into me because I know that that's it. Like, I know that that is the answer. So don't tell me about all these things that happen and the reasons we can't talk anymore. I don't care. Also, you guys... Like, you guys...

aren't texting and to like actively ask your best friend to coffee. Who you actively pursued before me. It really is the problem that LA is just so grimy like that, that we, we normalize it so much. But the other day I was talking to Debra, my mother, and she was like, I don't care if like if y'all have to go to the fucking moon.

Yeah To find someone I think we said that That has no Oh did we Yeah we said it in the In the last episode And I really like I agree with that now It is but it's It's hard because we At least I kind of Keep trying to date In these like same I'll meet someone who Knows this person And knows this person I'm kind of like Mod-sending honestly But

I just need to like Outsource Like I need to get A regular Like Hunter told me Stop dating the talent And I was like So true It is so true But then maybe It's just men Because all fucking men Are But no honestly Because every time That I have ever Been in a relationship With someone Who isn't the talent It usually ends Far less tumultuously I'm

It's gonna be my new word I already hear it on the Reddit builds That's true I'm learning right now I don't wanna fuck this up Because I'm still learning Okay And I want you to learn about it as well But I think I sent you a couple TikToks About this limerence concept What's that? It's like being obsessed with somebody And it's unreciprocated It's like

Really common people with childhood trauma But like you Because it's the only love you've like ever known Yeah because you cling on to these relationships Where like people Like it's kind of a night Like a whole thing you made up in your head And like they're really giving you like not that much And you're creating like this whole story of it And I feel like that's something I do all the time

And I can never be happy really in like a fully mutual relationship where I feel like somebody's like genuinely interested in me. And that's my problem. I feel like I have changed that. I used to be a lot more like that. Chris was the last person where I was like, okay, I can't do this. Like I do appreciate the chivalry of it all. And I do want to be with someone who...

Wants to be with me And equally I tried it Like my last relationship My last like real relationship I was like I didn't like him at first And I was like Oh but he's so nice He's so talented He's so amazing I'm gonna give him a chance And I was like pulling teeth For the first few dates And then We know how that story ends So the concept really just is That everyone fucking sucks I think it's just Everyone's horrible Yeah I don't know I think I need to stop dating For a second I agree That's where I'm at

I have a date tonight, but you amaze me. How many dates have you gone on this week? Be honest.

You don't have to answer. I can't answer that on this podcast, but I'm sure people can infer that because I can't answer that. You know what? I need to find out who Mr. Flaky Flakes best friend is. Okay. See, but then we're just. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. God damn. I'm worse than the people. You guys are like on a cycle because a few weeks ago you were like, oh, we need like two dates a week. I know. Yeah. But then I tried it. Remember, I did two dates in a day and both of them just blew it.

Or I blew it. I might be the problem. It's very, very possible that I'm the problem. I can say the same about myself. And I think self-awareness is important. First step. I have a little update. Okay. Speaking of dates, we talked about that hinge guy that did all that weird shit and like showed up where I was and like whatever. Scary monster. Yeah.

After we uploaded that podcast. This is how I know he's mentally. Wait. Oh, no, that's not even what I'm going to say. I received a surplus of intel from other people who have had similar experiences. Okay. And I upload that podcast and I did text him.

my bad after that podcast and was just like how are you because i was like oh i don't want you to see this and like end your own life but i realized that that was like not a do you understand what my intent there was yeah like i was just trying to be like hey hope you're good you know like sorry essentially saying sorry i aired you the fuck out but then he responded and i was like i'm not doing this again you terrify me like whatever blah blah blah um after receiving the surplus of people saying that they've had similar experiences with him

He texts me 73 times. I don't answer. And he sends me this voice memo. Is it fucked up? No, I wouldn't play it, but say what he said.

I don't think we should put his voice in the podcast. Essentially saying like, I'm really sorry you felt that's how our date went. And I hate it when somebody tells me they're sorry I feel some way. I know you should be sorry that you gunned me down, Ted Bundy. You showed up at the club at 2 a.m. with a suitcase. And then sends me...

A novella series. Okay, he's a writer. I understand that you don't owe me anything and vice versa. It's disappointing that you chose to dump paint all over me on the internet. Beautiful metaphor. I like that metaphor. And now people are coming after me, blah, blah, blah.

All this shit, but essentially ends it with like, if you'd like to hang out again. That's what blows my mind. You just told me this downstairs and I'm like, I cannot imagine watching a podcast where somebody talks about me for literally 20 minutes straight and says like, honestly, pretty like horrible things. Yes. And then being like, OK, I hope I see you again. Like you should hate me if you were saying like and especially if you felt like or he should have done some like serious self-reflection and been like, maybe I should

ease up a bit yeah like i just yeah like that is insane but like more power to him he is persistent block me block you yeah i don't i just that's that's really it let's see what else we've got going on i feel like he's like a method actor maybe oh yeah he's playing the part i can see it i just have the most random story to tell you that i forgot i actually have a couple of those okay

And they're all just about my insane, stupid behavior. Love those stories. I was at a party the other day and a couple weeks ago, but...

I see Christine Quinn from Selling Sunset. Love her. And I love her. I love someone who says, I'm going to play the fucking villain. I'm going to stir the fucking pot and I'm going to get my fucking bag and I'm going to be an icon about it. As long as they're a good person in real life. Yeah. You know what I mean? And we're not like close friends, you know, but when we see each other, we just, we have the same energy. Like we're not going to walk up and be like, oh my God, you look stunning. How are you? We're going to be like, do you, do you see what the fuck's going on over here? Like, well, yeah, you know, whatever.

And I go up to her and we're talking for a second and I make a joke and I am fully joking because I did entirely watch the new season, you know, but I was like, the new Selling Sunset is fucking ass without you. Like you carried, you'll always carry, I miss you on it, like blah, blah, blah, like these bitches could never. Right. And she turns to me

And she's with her friends. They're the new season. They're the new cast of Selling Sons. I just told them all their fucking shows suck. That is mortifying. I've done that before where I straight up, I shit on like, oh my God, like right in front of somebody. And it's top, honestly, two most embarrassing moments of my entire life. I just want to clarify, like the new season is good. I was just joking, but you can't recover from that. At all. What are you supposed to say? Like kidding.

How did you not notice? Were you drunk? I wasn't drunk. I just was looking at Christine. Right. Like I wasn't like looking at who she was with. I just assumed she was.

With her friends. That's hilarious. I just thought I'd share that. Can I also tell you a crazy story from Turks that I don't know if I should put on the podcast? I am so excited for you to tell the story. We finished last week's episode literally two and a half hours long. And we were so upset that we forgot this story. And I can't believe I'm saying this shit on the internet. And I'm sitting here for the first half of this podcast saying like,

I don't know why these men treat me like this. I don't know why these things happen to me because I do. But I won't even say I do things like this. You know, it's more so that I willingly admit things like this on the internet. Yeah. In my entire life, in my 25 years of life, I would put this at the number one, if not top three, most disgusting, terrible, feral, disgusting,

Tana actions I've ever, ever committed. And every time I think about it, I pray to God I die. I pray to God. It was, I'm going to say it. It was pretty bad. Pretty bad is you just being a nice friend. Well, because I didn't, I didn't have to be there. Had I had to be there.

I would have probably flown home from Turks by myself. Have you ever seen those memes where it's like, it just be two dumb bitches sitting there talking to each other, just saying exactly. Oh, is that us? I feel like I've been so brain dead this episode. I feel bad, but I don't, it's like, I'm trying to be sober. I am so hesitant to tell this story because I, I sincerely get to it, but every story I've ever told the internet, every story time ever combined. I think this is the one where it's like, don't say that about yourself.

But I feel like the ship has sailed and they love that about you. And I'm never going to find love. So I hope you people are fucking happy with this story. Someone's going to love you regardless. I wouldn't love me regardless. You lost me for a day at least. Yeah. OK. I feel like there will forever be a little Vegas in me. A little feral. Feral. But also like before I had the life I have now, I was very much like

Word to JWoww on Jersey Shore, you can stay and get your ass beat or you can stay and get your ass beat. And I do still believe this. I think there are certain situations in life where you could save countless hours of breath and just solve it by decking someone in the face. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm following. Trust. Trust.

And that could be a completely wrong opinion. And I'm not trying to project that onto other people. And I don't do that. I now will refrain from that. But unfortunately, in this particular situation, that girl will always jump out somewhere inside of me, you know? And I would say that in the last seven years, eight years, whatever of my life, I've only let the Vegas in me show maybe four times that

Most of which, if I'm, you know, fighting with a guy, like a Chris or like, you know. I'm thinking of the like, you're a guy, you're a guy, you're a guy story. Yes, yes. And there was a point during a lot of this drama in Turks where a lot of other people were jumping in with their sides. And I was seeing so much red that I was kind of like, if you have something to say, then fight me. Seeing red for sure. And...

Especially people telling me I was... Not that I can't be wrong, but in this situation, I knew I wasn't. So anyone trying to jump in and be in defense of really anyone else... Yeah, trust me. I was a victim. You know, yeah. Depending on how you look on it. Yeah. And...

You know when like your period is over, but like it's not like, oh my God. You know I'm a free bleeder. Free bleed till it's over. Like the final, like not even the final day. Like the last day. Like there could be like a drop or two of blood, but like, sorry Erin, seriously, this is, you don't want to hear this about me. This is a really extreme story. There can be a drop or two of blood, but if you're chilling, you're chilling. You don't need to put in a tampon for a drop or two of blood, you know? Yeah. Have you ever...

been on that day and you were like yelling so hard or you sneeze so hard or you do something so hard that you kind of like push out what's left. I, you know what? For the sake of the story, I will say that I, I have. It could be, you could come so hard. Okay. I don't, it's just something. Yeah, just, you never know. Like maybe you get, maybe you got like a. And so I was like,

yelling very very hard while sitting on and that's an understatement where was she like smoke you know she was swinging and i was on i was being held back by a couple people um and there was a white bedding i was yelling on a white bed and i don't even notice this i'm seeing way too much red to notice any other red you know eventually this

brawl leaves the bed and I have a snail trail and Kyla notices that I might need a tampon you do what a sweetheart and so I very much so I was a runner and a track star in this because people people kept trying to stop

me from living my journey. So I would just bolt. She was everywhere. My girl was on the go. Like at what, like the bedroom that I may or may not have snail trailed on was like on the, I'm pretty sure I saw her jump from balcony to balcony. Yeah. Like on the upstairs floor. And I ran as fast as I could down the beach because I had an issue with something someone said. And I was on the beach and I'm yelling hard. And I also have a really big issue with,

This is also very Jersey Shore of me, very Vegas of me. Let's say you and me are yelling at each other right now, right? And if we're yelling at each other from this distance and we're chatting, okay, we're yelling. And that's fine. It can stay there. Not all yelling has to resort to hitting, okay? But the second someone goes like this in your face, like a hand like this or hands like this up in your face, clapping in your face. Hands. When hands start moving close to my face-

That sets off a fun little lever that says you want to fucking fight. I'm getting mad thinking about it. Oh my God. It really, if you do this, so I start doing it back to the person. I'm going back to the moment. Cause I was looking at it like, Oh no. Like, especially someone who's wrong and I'm already fucking mad and they're hitting me with the, this, the chop and chop is, and not even a, this at a distance. Like it was probably this close to my face.

So then I grabbed some hands and I said, if you want to do this, then we're going to go to this. So let's discuss if that's going to be our journey. Right? Right. And we're just, we're... Meanwhile, you are passing an egg. Yes.

And so sweet little Kyla. And it's like Kyla's such a mom. Like this does not faze her at all. And I mean it. Like the next morning she's like, I had so much fun with you two. I'm like, what the fuck? Like hit me. Like I felt very bad for the people who weren't.

involving themselves and weren't involved. Do you know what I mean? Like if you're involving yourself, you want to be. I'm like, who wasn't involved? Honestly, like Kyla didn't involve herself. Good point. Paige didn't involve herself. So true. As I am hitting this hand motion back seconds from an attempted swing, I think is where I was at. I feel a little tap on my shoulder.

And it is sweet little Kyla. Her timing is impeccable. Saying, I think you might need this with a tampon. That is too funny. And I am at such a specific point of this argument that we were on the beach and the walk back to the house was really far. Just too long. And I didn't want to lose my place. In your argument. In my argument. I was very adamant on the fact that this was going to be settled soon.

However, it may be settled right then and there, especially because this was with other parties. It wasn't even the main event. Yeah, it wasn't even the culprit. And it was like, you know. So I remove my hand like this and I grab the tampon from Kyla. And I walk, I would say, one foot, maybe two feet. How many steps you think? Two? Probably eight steps. That's a lot of steps.

If it takes you eight steps to get two feet, we have a serious problem. I don't fucking know. You know, like, like just not far enough for this to be okay. Like from where I'm sitting to like that window is probably like how far I walked down to the beach. And I dig a little hole like a rabbit. I didn't know this part. And I'm still yelling while I'm doing this.

And I pop a squat and I shove the tampon in my pussy and walk right back over and resume my fight. What did she do? Or wait. I don't think she saw. To be on the receiving end, like what was it? Just like a blip?

And it was just over What do you mean? No it was quick She didn't notice your I was so quick It was just like Walk walk walk Dig dig dig Shove Walk walk walk That is Honestly Impressive Although Perhaps Littering

I eventually relocated said applicator to all of the Turks Beach police. Okay. I relocated. Hate to be that girl. I just know we did get in a scandal about that before. 100%. And I'm not a litterer. I'm a lot of things, clearly. Again, I don't think the person that I was arguing with saw. I know that Kyla saw.

The trauma. She's had enough. And I know you do not have to shame me for this because I know that that might be one of my life's lowest moments. To me? So you are telling me the story now and I knew the story. I was expecting it to get worse than it did. What do you mean? It's pretty bad, but like I feel like I've done stuff like that. Well, talk.

You're my soulmate. Ty and I were discussing that there is... And nothing makes this okay. I just want to say it is my lowest, most disgusting moment. But thank God I didn't have a tampon in. Because then what would have happened? Would it have just shot out or something? No, no, like... Have you read that? Where would I put it? Oh...

See, that was when I initially heard the story. I think that's what I thought. I thought you like took one out on the beach. But I can't guarantee that I would have. I have a friend who did that. I have a friend. This is a true story. I have, this will make you feel better. A friend who was going to hook up with a guy, had a tampon in, took it out, put it under his bed, hooked up with him, never went back for it. He found that one day. Did you ever have a guy rip out your tampon with his teeth? No. Whoa, that's crazy. No. What the fuck?

No, I have not. Some people want to do that. I think it's so weird. I'm like, vampires. Just kidding.

This is the worst conversation I've ever gotten on the internet I can factually say this is my least favorite conversation I'm trying to think if I have anything like really gross I've done like that But I don't I've never done anything like that in my entire life I've never done anything like that in my entire life And I probably hopefully never will again I don't think it was that bad I really don't think it was that bad It's bad but it's like

You have to have done things grosser than that. I think I could name some things that you've done that are grosser than that. I would love to hear. No, I get shamed for it. I will just say the beach was a very far walk from the house at the time. It was far. It was pretty long. It was a long little pathway. And I just. There wasn't an option because you couldn't have gone back. It wouldn't have been the same. You would have lost your momentum. And to be fair, after I put the tampon in, we did resolve the issue and there were no physicalities.

That was good. Nobody got hit. No one got hit. No one got hit. By the grace of everyone else there. And I think that... Yeah, there were people who were put in work to make sure no one got hit. Abby Weatherington was so funny about it. She was like, if you're going to hit someone, you have to hit me too. And I was like, okay, bitch, let's go. And she was like, Tana, are you fucking serious? Yeah, you were seeing red for sure. I tried to just step away from it because I don't think it was really my... Yeah, I haven't been that angry in probably like...

Maybe my whole life. You probably needed to get it out. I have like some moments like that where all of a sudden I just have to get all my anger out at once. I'm just, I'm not really that angry. Like even just like we were talking about this mod situation. Like I, I'm just, I usually I can laugh things off. I don't have a lot of anger. Usually I get, you know, I'm, I was just talking to you about my emotional dysregulation. Anger is really not a part of it. It's just like, it's either like so overwhelmingly happy or like so sad. I never get like mad. Actually, I just lied for no reason.

Let's see what else is on the docket. Logan Paul got engaged. It was beautiful. I'm hyper fixated on the video right now. I've watched it. Honestly, when I was like upset about this little coffee shop situation this morning, I watched it like three times and I was like, OK, if it's not that I don't want to. Logan Paul did not take anyone else to a coffee shop. They're so cute and like so perfect for it. She's so perfect for him.

And like just seeing someone like know immediately about someone like that is just like so heartwarming. And the video is just done so well. I know. I was hesitant. I didn't want to watch it at first because I was like, something's just off to me about vlogging your engagement. That's what Paige was saying and I was like,

I can understand that if it's not what you do for a living Yeah that's true He like That's his thing Yeah and like It's like getting engaged on a reality show or something Like it's like you're already doing it And like yes he had his moments back in the day Where it's like what's up Mavericks you know But over time he really did transition into like His videos are like literal short films Yeah he's very tasteful I feel like about it now And it's not ever really him It's kind of like an outsider looking in Yeah

I love that video so much. It is beautiful and she is beautiful. She's just the most amazing, sweet human being. Like, I love that. I know. I'm not kidding. I watched that video. I'll never be Nina Agdal. Me neither. But I was doing bicep curls today. I swear to God. I was like, I gotta do something. I saw her arms. I was like, oh my God.

This looks amazing. Trisha Paytas' response to Colleen Ballinger's apology. Fuck Colleen. Oh my God. Like I, when we were laughing about it, like on the last episode, I kept saying I didn't really like know enough. I know. I don't know. I think it was after our episode or after we filmed our episode when all the Trisha stuff started happening, but I was distraught because I love Trisha. Who the fuck does that to someone?

Colleen Miranda sings If I found out like you did that to me Yeah imagine I was like just like sending your like nudes To some random person being like I just don't even want to say the things she was saying But like

Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew And especially like Someone you collaborate with And like work with Was she not scared Imagine like Jeff did that to you If I knew If I knew that I had ever Had an interaction with that Or like that About somebody Don't get into business With that person Don't like Don't be friends With that person Like Did she not have like guilt Did she not have like Impending doom Like eventually She's gonna find out About this I would Clearly I can do A lot of things That aren't good

But I could never in a million years imagine myself doing that When I was younger I would do things like online and stuff that were like probably horrible But also just yeah you're a grown-ass woman you're sending that to your young fans But she was yeah she was so much older than is like excusable for something like that Like I think older than I am right now Not that there's any age that it is excusable but like Like maybe a 14 year old doesn't mean If she was like 12 or something I'd be like okay like she didn't know better but like what

What? Like she was older than I am right now doing that. Yes. I think so. Yeah. She's like 30 something. And this wasn't like, like Trisha's only had an OnlyFans for like so long. I just feel for Trisha. It makes me sad. I want her to know she does have like a friend and.

You or me or other people. I love her so much. And I feel like she can't catch a break. She's always getting directed and stuff even when she's not. Do you know that they were starting a podcast together? Yeah, that's why I said get into business with somebody. Because I saw that and I thought that they had already started it. I thought for some reason that they... They'd filmed like four episodes, I think. And were posting together as this shit came out. If I was Trisha, I would kill her. Me too. But I feel like Trisha's grown. She's busy. She's being a mother and she's being a healed individual. And everybody...

oh my god it makes me so upset i'm like as another highly emotional person leave her alone yeah fuck justice for trisha fuck colleen actually need an unfollower and so it's been my new thing like unfollowing people live i just forgot i never followed her trisha i was on um escape the night with colleen and we like shot shit i always see clips of that you should do more acting that's fun

I was so terrible at it. No, you're good at it. You just take yourself so seriously. Like I remember when you did the bad baby video and you were like, so like you wanted yourself to be, you kept saying you were bad. I just shot a commercial for something like two days ago and they were having me act and I'm, I really am terrible at acting. No, I think that you just like, I don't know. I overthink it so much that I make myself bad and I can recognize that, but it's like,

Even like this script was written for me. Like, you know what I mean? It was like I was playing myself. It is so hard for me to like say something that I wouldn't say.

And I lose I like literally lose all like inflection to my voice. Like the line could literally be like, I want to have a beer. And I would be like, I want to have a beer. Like I like. Yeah. I never get a brand deal that's like that. And you're like, come on. Like I would never say that. I can't. And so usually now, like even yet, like when I shot that, they were very gracious to allow me to improv. But I think that's also because they were like, oh, she's going to be really terrible if not. I'm excited to see it.

It's interesting for sure Do you know about the Black Mirror billboard? No Have you seen this new season of Black Mirror? No Okay can I tell you about it? There was an episode And in my opinion I think it's the best one on the season And it's called Joan is Awful And Was that foreshadowing? What do you mean? Joan is Awful Joan Oh

Joan is awful. I'm like justice for Jonah's girlfriend. And it's about this woman named Joan and she's living her life and you can kind of infer that she's not maybe the best person. She is people's boss and she's firing people really cruelly and then you find out she's cheating on her boyfriend and whatever.

So on and so forth. Right. And she comes home to her boyfriend and they sit down to watch a show on Netflix and they're looking through and the number one trending show is a show called Joan is awful. And they're kind of making jokes like that's so weird. Like I'm Joan. Like, you know what I mean? Like as if you were to see like Brooke is awful. You'd be like, what is that? I would love that. Yeah. But then they notice. And so she,

The main character is Salma Hayek in the show. Like not, like Joan isn't Salma Hayek, but Joan is like on Netflix. She sees that Salma Hayek is playing Joan and Joan is awful. And she has very distinct hair. Like she has black hair with like blonde front money pieces and shit. And it's Salma Hayek with like her exact hair. And then her boyfriend's like, that's so weird. Like,

Why is it Salma Hayek with like your hair and it's called Joan is awful. Like, should we watch it? And they put on the show and it's her life. Like she, it's Salma Hayek playing her, but like Salma Hayek, like is firing someone that day identically to how she did. And then like Joan went to therapy that day and everything she told her therapist, Salma Hayek is saying. And like,

All the characters names are the same. Like Joan in the show, her boyfriend's name is the same name as in real life. And then her boyfriend starts being like,

is this play about us you know what I mean essentially yeah and then finds out that she's cheating on him and she's just oh because it's in the show yes and I would have been like that part's not real like and she's trying to do that but he's like why is this every like it's the same house like it's the same everything you know what I mean and then she doesn't understand what's happening and he like leaves and then episodes keep coming out so then the next day an episode comes out and it's of him like leaving her and like

It's like her life is just this show that's actively airing and it gets a lot crazier and it ends really crazy and whatever, but...

The conclusion of this alternate reality in this episode is that when she signed up for Netflix, she accepted the terms of agreement. Like, you know how you do that? Like, when you make an account on something, you press, like, I accept to the, like, terms and conditions. Right. And you, like, obviously don't read them. And in the terms and conditions, it was like, if we ever wanted to use your...

name and likeness and make an AI version of you a show like we can. And like she accepted that, you know. And so she's reaping all these negative benefits. That's a terrible sentence, terrible grammar, sorry. All these negative things are happening to her now. Like she gets fired from her job. Her man leaves her because it's like everyone knows it's about her. She loses all of her friends, like so on and so forth.

Anyways, has a very, very crazy ending. Incredible episode of Black Mirror, right? And so Black Mirror in real life does this thing on Twitter where they're like, you can make your own graphic that's like, I could make one. Like I upload a selfie and it can say Tana is awful. Do you know what I mean? Like it's this thing. You get what I'm saying. You can make them for your friends. It's something our friend group would do. Like just like you'd use this little meme generator to make like a Brooke is awful, Tana is awful, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And it's,

With that generator, there was a terms of agreement that everyone had to click. And then all over the world, Netflix placed these real billboards of real people who did that that say like, Mark is awful, like with their face. Oh my God. And the people...

thinks of this like imagine your brain functioning that way black mirror like that's it's the most black mirror shit i've ever seen that's so amazing but it's like how do they like one episode of the black mirror i'm like god that's mind-blowing and then for them to just like be able to do it over and over again i'm like who's writing that it's so fucking and i'd imagine like imagine like natalie made that and then she's in time square and it just says natalie is awful that's

I wish that happened. I wish I used it. Yeah, there's people like us who want that. But like random people who just like did it to be funny and like now they're like shitty co-workers on a billboard somewhere. Like that's... Yeah, like imagine we made one. It's like this. Whose name is Mochi? It's like a whole bunch of people. Like isn't that fucking crazy? Oh my God. I want to make one of you and put it on Instagram. But what a crazy...

Like publicity stunt. So smart. Like promotion for that episode. Because why the fuck would you read the terms of agreement? Crazy. I don't know. Just thought I'd share. It's been blowing my mind. That is like 10 people. No, that is really amazing. I have to watch it. But now I feel like I know what happens. No, you should. Because the ending's crazy. Michael Cera's in it too. I forgot about that. Sexy, sexy, sexy. He's my biggest crush. Speaking of like.

sexy actors that are untraditionally sexy. Like Michael, Michael, Sarah could rail me. I do agree with that. You know who else I always wanted to rail me? Jonah Hill. I did too. And I'm really disappointed in him for context. Jonah Hill's dating this girl and I guess they break up and she goes on an Instagram story expose as one does. I get how that could happen. I, I'd never do it, but I could see how that would happen.

And she posts a screenshot of her texts from Jonah. And he says, plain and simple. If you need surfing with men, boundaryless, inappropriate friendships with men to model, to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, friendships with women who are in unstable places from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful.

I am not the right partner for you. If these things bring you happiness, I support it. Blah, blah, blah. Those are my boundaries. Those are my boundaries. Essentially, that's the text from my son. I was just going to say that. But then I was like, I think we've gone a little too hard. And now there's this giant debate on the Internet. It's kind of hard because it is like, of course, you do want to have your boundaries in a relationship. It's like us saying a guy can't shouldn't be liking like Instagram baddies like photos. So that's like a similar situation.

But it's kind of hard because like in this situation, for example, he was sliding up on all her stories where she's like in a bikini and he's like, you look amazing. I want to see you. And then now you're dating her and suddenly she's not allowed to do that anymore. Like, yeah. And I think it's a really slippery slope of the guys tell you what to wear and what. Yeah, I've never. No, that's not true. Remember when I almost got literally murdered for the skims bodysuit?

I will never forget that day. I was floored. You were drinking whole milk at a cafe, which was scaring the shit out of me. And I got the wrath. I kept it up on my Instagram. For wearing a Skims bodysuit. Like that's,

And I've done it with people like that. After the breakup as well. But it's like, you date this girl because she's hot and you like the way she dresses and you like things she wears and then you date her and now she can't wear those. Like, that is just so crazy to me. I think there's something to be said that, like, yes, it's important to tell people your boundaries and I guess if that's who you are as a person, find someone who abides by that and whatever. But I've also heard...

A lot of stories about Jonah Hill. I have a few friends who have... Really? Allegedly done some really wild, wild things with him. God, I hate when that happens. I really want to think highly of somebody and then I just find out all these crazy stories about them. I think about the tampon story I just told. I had a friend one time tell me an alleged story of things they allegedly did with Jonah Hill. And...

I was like that is disgusting. Wait, have you heard about the guy? You know you're gonna know the guy and the people will know the guy too. Who like has girls like shit on tables. Should we bleep it? I want to tell you it was so bad. What the fuck? And it's like so widely known like everybody knows. I didn't know that.

My favorite thing about canceled is just ruining Aaron's perspective of everything. That's so fucked up. Isn't that crazy? But like, sometimes I feel like these guys get in these situations where they hook up with so many people that you just get exhausted of it and you're bored and then all of a sudden you want somebody to shit on you. And I don't know what happens in between those two things. Do you know the actor that can only have sex and cum if he has headphones on listening to his own movies? Is it? Is it? Mm-hmm.

It would be. Isn't that crazy? I don't know. They can't be 25, right? At all. Yeah. I'm officially too old. God, that's so crazy. I think it's like 23, actually. Yeah, 23 is the age cutoff. Can you tell me about this Alex Earl and Braxton thing? I don't know anything about it. I just keep seeing it on my timeline. To my understanding, Sophia, Sophia, Sophie, Sophie.

I don't know. I watched their show. Copa? Yeah. Okay. She was dating Braxton. Okay. They were in a really serious relationship. Like she was going to move across the country for him. Like they were talking like marriage, very serious relationship. Okay. They start having problems. This is my understanding of the story, by the way, they start having problems and they're kind of trying to work through it. And she sees him making out with somebody on social media, like at a game. And it's obviously not her.

That's this is her side of the story.

And so it comes out later that like Braxton is dating Alex Earl, but like, I don't think Alex knew, or I feel like in every situation ever that is like this, a guy's not being honest on both ends. Like I've had situations like that where I think like a situation is completely over with somebody's ex. So I'm engaging with this person and then it turns out not to be. So I don't know. It's kind of hard. I love Alex Earl. I also think like Sophia is the cutest. Yeah.

I'm like death to Broxton. Just kidding. Just joking. Men are trash. I can't believe you just made me say all of that and now you're going to move on. I had no thoughts.

We can cut it if you want. I just, I had no thoughts towards that. Like, I think everybody in the situation now is unbothered. Yeah. And chilling. I think, I think, uh, Copo wants to come on our podcast. I think that'd be interesting. I think everybody's better off. You don't want to be with anybody who doesn't want to be with you. And that's what I'm learning. Matt. Right. Is allegedly making $30 million on his tour with live nation. Um,

I feel like that's like a, like that number honestly makes sense. If you see, like, have you seen the tour dates? It's hundreds? Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause he's done, he does like, I think sometimes more than one show or a lot of times more than one show a day, almost every single day of 2023 and 2024 was the deal, I believe. But I feel like that's what like Dave Chappelle would make.

Or Kevin Hart would make. Yeah, but I don't think any of those comedians are touring to that extent. Like, you go on a little tour, but, like, this is a really crazy, like, very long, extensive... I'm a comedian now. Oh, yeah, we're going on a comedy tour, Loki. Oh, fuck. We should cut that to the very beginning, I think. Yeah, okay. Or no, or should we just...

I don't know. I don't think anyone, any normal person or any person who's not like 27 would tour that crazy without like going actually insane. 230 shows within, I think, two months or three months. Yeah. And then I think he does like some in between too, which is crazy. You and I are going on a tour and we are just not making $30 million. Not at all. But you know what? I was actually just texted by my manager to read some dates.

We are so excited. It's going to be August, September, and whatever month comes after that, October. Nailed it. And we're not allowed to say the places yet, but we can tell you one place, which I still think is pretty exciting. I do too. We will be somewhere I've never been in my life. All of these cities are places I've never been in my life. Really? That's a hint. Really?

We will be in New Haven, Connecticut to do canceled live on August 11th at Toad's Place. Toad's Place. So if you are anywhere near New Haven, Connecticut and you want to come meet us and hug us and be forced to turn your phone off and let us tell you stories that are somehow 10 times worse than the ones we told you today. Names, names, names, names at the live shows.

So many names at the live shows and so many stories we could never, ever, ever tell on this podcast. We're really excited for New Haven. So we're just excited in general. I can't wait to tour. And hopefully one day we get a 30 million dollar touring deal. That would be fucking amazing. But for now, we don't have that. But the tickets are linked below for New Haven. So we're excited.

Shark Tank. I'm not into it. Oh, okay. Can I tell you why? Why? I don't like Shark Tank because I don't like feeling secondhand embarrassment. And it's the most embarrassing show of all time. I love it so much. It's like American Idol. I can't watch it because I'm like... When someone has a bad pitch on Shark Tank, I could like masturbate to it. I think it's...

Not literally, bro. Not literally. It's just I find it. It just doesn't. I had a vibrator caught on fire. Your vibrator caught on fire? I'm not kidding, Tana. It literally basically burst into flames upon being just literally turned on. Like, I was like, God, Jesus Christ, I can't catch a break.

I can see that being something you cry over. I'm not kidding. Because it was like, it felt like one of those things, like, you know, when the vapes were exploding in people's pockets? Yes. I thought that was going to happen. And I was like, I'm about to get the settlement of a lifetime. Was it like, why did you think it was going to catch on fire? Because it just, it started getting, it was like, I was touching a straightener. I'm not kidding. I set it down on my desk and I was like, oh my God, this is a fire hazard. Like, I think it's going to just like set my whole apartment on fire. Did you have another one or did you have to go acoustic? I, I,

Have you ever seen that meme? It's like the girl from like Handmaid's Tale. It's like me when my vibrator won't turn on. Or the Kim Kardashian when she's like dressed up in her little cottage core. Have you seen this sound on TikTok where it's just someone It's so fucked up. I'm sorry. It's someone just like and it's like Helen Keller discovering a vibrator. Can we go to jail for this?

This is really bad. We had... Every time I move, I... Why are we both so far down now? Every time I move houses, I...

I re-up my sex toys. Like I throw them all away and I get new ones. And I don't know why I've made that like a thing. At Ogden, when we moved, I had like a red room collection of sex toys. But I was like putting these, something about putting these into a box. And like bringing them from place to place feels like. It's so embarrassing to me. But now I've just been here with nothing. And I'm so bored. Oh, so you are acoustic. Yeah, so I need to. A little tiny desk content.

god erin get with it just kidding no i've just been a whore oh yeah you've been doing it the old-fashioned way that's yeah i'm gonna have to call pool boy pretty soon here i'm not kidding but i told you at the beginning i'm bushed up right now saying i'm bushed up right now is crazy first of all you're bushed up too so don't even try to play that game i was in the bathroom like changing and lila was like tina you have a bush right now i was like i know i need to shave my puss first of all it's terrible

Wait, what were we getting at before this? I thought it was important. Oh, yeah. Wait, I don't know. It like burst into flames. Oh, yeah. I thought I was going to get a settlement. Like I was like, and it wouldn't turn off. So it was just getting so hot. I was like, oh, my God. It's like, what do I do? What do you do? I just like I had to just let it die. I just watch it and hope it didn't explode. You're just sitting there with it like vibrating. Yeah. Murphy's like, what's going on? It's like a new toy. I didn't want to put it on like fabric or anything. So I didn't want it to like combust. I can't. But I should have let it happen because.

God, do you remember that documentary about the girl who got the McDonald's coffee and it gave her like extreme third degree burns to the point where she had to be like hospitalized? No, but I do like that analogy. Yeah, but you don't want like a Chernobyl pussy. I don't. I can't tell how offensive exactly that is, but I think it's going to be. I actually had a way worse thing to say, but then I was like, I won't. Back to what I was saying. Oh, sorry. Shark tank.

That's bad. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. This has nothing to do with the show Shark Tank. I just have two applications I've recently discovered. I'm working with one of them, maybe both of them. And I need to pitch them to you. I need to tell you about both. Okay. Because they, in my opinion, in my entire lifetime, they are the two craziest apps I've ever discovered. Okay. Okay.

One might still be in beta, so I don't know if it's like possible to download it yet. But a friend of mine created it and it is called Fluid Out. Okay. I love it already. Isabella's like, hello? No. Isabella was there when the guy was telling us about it and I swear to God she was like foaming at the mouth. Wait, what is it? It's like...

Essentially all these rich men post and someone's going to get murdered from this. I'm not necessarily saying. They post trips right? I think someone was telling us about this at Tao. Yes yes yes. They post a trip like a rich guy will be like I'm going to the Hamptons. Didn't this exist or no? No. From like August 5th to August 8th and then girls send in their profiles and apply to be flown out on the fucking trips. Slay.

So I'm going to the Hamptons. Just kidding. No, it's like, I don't know. Wow. But I think that's going to end in murder. You think so? I think there has to be like some kind of precautions that you take. Like maybe they have to do like a little. I would hope so. Like a waiver situation. So that one was just like a funny little breadcrumb I wanted to share with you. But the next app has changed my fucking life. Okay. And I don't know if it's a good thing.

No one wants to be around me anymore whenever I tell them about it. I know what you're going to talk about. It's called ReClip. Okay. Very, very valuable in Turks and Caicos. Let me tell you. And I'm going to turn it on right now in order to... Okay, it's on. To explain to you what this app does. When you have it on, so when you have the app open and running, it is constantly recording...

Everything that your phone can hear. But it doesn't have to be on the screen, right? No. There's like fully like I could just be on my little like home screen. It just has to be like one of those tabs that's somewhere over there. Yes. So like I could be on Twitter and just like or my phone could just be locked right here like this like boom. Like and it's not open on my phone. It's just like whatever. And it's constantly recording on a two minute loop. So it records everything for two minutes and then starts over everything for two minutes and then starts over everything for two minutes and then starts over.

So if someone says something and you're like, fuck, I wish I captured that. All you have to do is, and again, look at my phone. Like I am just on my little home screen, just chilling. Open up the reclip app and press clip. So now check this out.

open on my phone it's just like whatever and it's constantly recording on a two minute loop so it records everything for two minutes either really good or really bad really quickly I love it because we caught like we used it in Turks and literally caught the funniest like things Lila would say and stuff that were just like I cannot believe someone wasn't vlogging but like I just did it to Jeff and he was like I never want to see you again that's terrifying like but I told him about it obviously before doing it

I think... Yeah, are there like laws against that or something? I don't know. But I met with the founders of it and I am working with them. Oh, sorry. I want to invest. I think it's a genius idea. They were telling me a lot of sweet things. Like someone caught like their grandmother's last words on Reclip or their baby's like first steps and words and shit. Oh my God, how cute. Like there is really...

Q or like people use it for work. Like they're in a meeting. It can be used for good, but I just think putting it in the hands of the 12 of us is like, use it for blackmail. It's hilarious. Not even just blackmail, but like, Oh my God, you said this. That was so embarrassing. You told this story. My very first thought was like, imagine you're in an argument with your boyfriend and,

you're like this, this and this. And he's like, you didn't say that. And you're like, check this one out. Yes, I did. Like that is so. Oh my God, that would be amazing. And so when the reclip app is open, you know, on the iPhone, how like if you're on navigation, like the time at the top is like blue. Yeah. Like the time at the top. Oh, so it's like that'll,

Like, or if you're on a FaceTime, the time at the top is green or whatever. If your, if your reclip is recording, it's orange up at the top like that. So now everyone in the friend group will just be like, are you on orange? Are you on orange? Like, that's hilarious. Like, um, Chris came over last night and Ari just mouthed to me across the room. Like hilarious. He was probably just like, I think I said a whole lot of things that are really going to negatively affect me, but that's usually how this God forsaken podcast works.

If you want to date me, please do. The tampon thing was a one time thing. The tampon thing will never, ever, ever, ever happen again. Mark my words. And I do not have a Chernobyl pussy. Bye, guys. We love you.