36: Tana responds to Idubbz’ Apology Ep. 36
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I'll never do this again. You will take Tana's word for it. She's never going to smoke before the podcast again. We just did 10 minutes where she just decided we're just going to trash all of it. Hello and welcome back to the canceled podcast. I'm violently, violently high and I need to power through this. I need to like third eye this like limitless pill, blue pill. Like I convinced myself I'm not high. Do you need a sip of this Alani nutrition? Are they paying you? No. You've been doing so many free brand deals lately, you guys. Why?

How funny would that be if I was just, dude, Brooke will like do things in life where it's like, hey person, can you do this favor for me? And then if you do this favor, I'll do this brand deal. So she'll be on her Instagram, like doing a giveaway for like tickets to something. But it's like in exchange for someone like spying on her ex, like no payment. Okay. She tried to horn swoggle me into doing this.

That's not true. I pulled up my camera to film my own brand deal and she tucked her little head into it. So she just happened to be in it. And then she, and then she literally had a stroke. You're so sick. You're lying. And everybody knows you're a liar. This is not what happened. It was after the Leo Skeppy episode. We're sitting here with Leo, like taking selfies, whatever. And she's like, what's up guys. We're going to be giving away five free tickets to the next canceled live show, which by the way, doesn't exist. I'm sorry.

oh my god it doesn't exist bitch do you know how much money we can make to do a giveaway but it was so worth it to me i've told her tiktok that i quit vaping because of ripple which i did by the way now over on my tiktok that's what friends do for each other it is speaking of friendship i owe you an apology

No fucking way. It was forced out of me by the comments. I thought I'd never see. I'm just kidding. That's not true. Oh,

However, I was getting like a fun apology. She's just saving her ass. So you'll keep loving her on the run. But actually, I got my karma. OK, so I'm I'm like in cahoots with Jeff on this episode talking about how you hooked up with this man. I knew you didn't do it. I thought it was like a funny bit, but I don't think I realized in the moment how it was affecting you. OK, do you think that if that happened off camera, just in a normal conversation, the next day you'd apologize to me? No. No.

No, I'm just kidding. No, I just... Well, because it is frustrating, but I just always thought you didn't do it. So I thought it was just like a funny thing to joke about. It's funnier than I feel like I led on. Like even in the comments, there were a lot of people really like... Really feeling bad for you. And like condemning. And I understand that it's like, you know...

What I've taken away from the situation is that it's a complete gray area. Like, I have no idea who said what and who... It's an entire game of telephone. Yeah. So, like, it eventually just became a bit and it's, like, funny. But I felt like in that episode I was, like, hot. So a lot of people kind of thought. But I am in a situation similar right now. And it is very frustrating to me. So now I am sorry. This... Wow, that really did come full circle. It's the worst. It did. So I'm going to tell you about it.

You know my guy friend group, okay? Like my little guy friends, I'm always with them. I go out drinking, whatever. Fist fought in my house on Friendsgiving. It was one time. I'm just kidding. I love them. They're like my favorite guys. I go out with them all the time. I just feel like it's just like, that's my group, okay? Probably in the last like year, they integrated like a new little member, okay? It's another guy, sweetest guy, okay? And he knows my ex-boyfriend.

so him and i would like chat about it i would like confide in him about things like when we were still together and then obviously after we broke up and he was so sweet like he's just like you don't deserve that like this is horrible really like just really helping me through it and i was like this is the nicest guy yeah i have you want to share your nickname for him what's his nickname i don't have a nickname for him is he oh fuck

Yeah, but we can't call, we can't say his name. Okay. Moving forward, I had, I started talking to a new guy and I was like telling him all about that too. And like, he was just like, he's my, he's my buddy. Okay. He's my friend. Somewhere along the way, it became a joke. Like that I would be like, oh my God, this is my boyfriend. Like, oh my God, my boyfriend's going to be there like joking about him the same way I would do for like,

Like the way I acted with Hunter was like how him and I would act with each other. And it was like mutual. It was like a joke we had. It would be like, come sit over here. Like my girlfriend, like blah, blah, blah.

Fun banter. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, he was doing it just as much as I was. And I don't know if that's normalized behavior in like the rest of the world in friend groups, but I, like I do that. Like I'm validating you. I don't know if everyone else does that, but like, it's just fun to pretend people are. Yeah. There's probably like, there's probably like three or four other guys in the group that I do the same thing with just because it's like, I know I would never hook up. Like fun flirting, but you're never going to hook up. It's funny. And it just makes it fun. Cause it's like, you know, like I knew this man was like,

There was no future there. He's way too nice. I will say with those people, like 12 shots and you might. Yeah, well, that was the fun of it all. So we would get drunk and all of a sudden we'd be like jokingly like flirting with each other. And that was like, it was funny. I'm out on Easter. Okay. I go out on Easter with all the guys, whatever. We're at one place and then me and this guy and one other guy Uber to Melrose place. Okay. Just like a little bar.

We drink all night. All of us are just like drinking whatever. I end up getting a little too drunk. Okay. And I take myself home. Okay. My phone's on 6%. I'm like, I can't last out here and I need to go home. A couple weeks later, I'm sitting down with the guys. He's not there. I go...

where is he and they go brooke you need to relax like you are creeping him out so bad he is literally scared of you like he doesn't want to be around you because like you've you've taken it way too far and i was too that's a murder suicide right there i'm no i know it gets so much worse boom boom boom boom i'm not kidding and i'm immediately spiraling because i'm like what the fuck like i i

I know when I'm taking a joke too far, you know what I mean? And it was so mutual. Like he was doing it, if not like more than I was probably. I was just so confused. And like, if he's saying I made him uncomfortable, I'm like, I don't want to like discredit him. Who am I to say I didn't? But I'm like, you were joking about it too. Yeah. I spiral about this for weeks. Okay. I'm like, do they elaborate at all? Like the guys? No. Cause I was like, what am I going to say? I was embarrassed. I'm like, wait, what the fuck? Like I was just so weirded out. Okay.

So I'm like spiraling about it for weeks And like Joe's birthday is coming up Okay Okay so I'm like oh my god I don't even want to go Because like I don't want to be around him Like that's so weird That he like He genuinely thinks that I'm like obsessed with him

And I'm like What the fuck So I show up to this birthday party She's like I'm outside of his window And he just I know he thinks No it was just so weird Like it was It was such a joke And I thought it was obvious Because I'm talking to him About my ex I'm talking to him About the guy I'm currently seeing And you're not fucking him Or trying to Yeah and I've never Touched him I do not have the man's Phone number God you found me last week Yeah

Yeah, I do. I'm sorry. See, it was very clear. I wasn't actually interested in him. Like I've never asked for your number. I have never talked to you outside of this environment. Like I thought it was just obvious. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I show up to Joe's birthday party. Okay. And this guy, he's with his new girlfriend. His new girlfriend happens to be someone that we all know very well. And she's like just a friend of ours. She's been around forever. But she just so happens to be someone whose ex I hooked up with.

Before I met her. Okay. So that's backstory. I am not kidding. He comes up to me, says hi, whatever. I'm like, this is not the time and place to like confront him about it. So whatever. Comes back up 10 seconds later, hand in hand with her and says hi to me all over again. Like he's never, he didn't say hi to me at all. And I'm like,

What the fuck Like he's trying to show me Like I'm with her Kind of thing And I'm like Kind of weird Like I don't care That you're with her Because I never cared About you to begin with That always is like A weird energy But why am I also the girl Like come on Let's go say hi to your friend No no Yeah but it was I was like You just said hi to me And now you're gonna pretend Like you didn't Just so you can show off Like that you're with your girl Like I promise you I don't care Because I never cared about you So do you think that he He genuinely thinks that Like do you think he was That's that He broke back off No Yeah yes Maybe Like I don't know

At this point, I'm still feeling bad and it's just like weirding me out. Okay. There's another girl there who used to hook up with him. Okay. And she was hooking up with him like around the time that we were all just like hanging out. And he would always tell me like, Brooke, she is insane. Like she's stalking me. Like she shows up everywhere I am. She's so PDA. Like I'm, I'm scared of her. Like that's what he told me about her. And I'm like, it's weird. Cause now he's saying that about me.

So I go to the girl and I tell her about it. How many shots? So many. Okay. And I start talking to her about it and she goes, no, like he said all those things to me about you. She said...

He told her that that night at Melrose Place, I was begging him to come home with me, literally begging him so bad that he was like literally running from me. He said I was following him around everywhere and I was making him so uncomfortable. Mind you, we went there together, like following him around is crazy. We showed up together. I was hanging out with my friends at the place we came with my friends.

I have never begged a man to come home with me in my entire life. Tana Marie. I have. I'm like, what the fuck? So now I'm like this. He's making shit up. Like literally he made it all up because he's like telling actual lies the entire day. They're like, if I look in their direction, they'll like grab each other's faces and make out and start cracking up. And I'm literally like,

Smoke is coming out of my ears Because I'm like I don't want him I never wanted him And they're like They're trying to like do this And you know how that feels To be that girl Like you think that it's a real situation Because you like the guy And he's convinced you of it And you think this bitch wants your man Yeah and it frustrated me Because knowing that he said that And you look like an idiot He said I'm begging him To come home with me and stuff He probably said that To all my guy friends By the way Joe included Which is embarrassing He probably said that To his new girlfriend He's saying that to everybody Do you want him to die? I want him dead Do you want I would be The

The Joe part of it all is like, I like see for you. I actually like Joe is in this friend group. He knows how I act when I'm actually like upset. I was stalking him for sure. Like,

He knows. Like that's not my behavior with somebody that I'm actually interested in. Yeah. But it was just so frustrating. But I was like, just like trying to brush it off or whatever. Just it was so obvious that they were like trying to show off their relationship in front of me. And I'm like, I don't care. So a couple nights ago.

I run into them again and she is doing her rounds. She says hi to me like, like normal, whatever. But I'm just like still so annoyed at the situation. Cause I'm like, I look crazy. And I'm hearing all these things, like just little things here and there that he's saying that happened that literally never did. And I'm like, he is such a like liar. And I know he lied about the other girl too, because I'm like, he made her sound so crazy. And I know he just says that about people now. So his girlfriend does her little rounds.

And she shoves past me and she goes to her friend like, let's go see our boyfriends. Let's go see our boyfriends. Like skin to skin contact, like shoulder check. Shoulder check is like pushing it. But she was like so clearly like trying to get me to hear her because I didn't react at first. And she said it again louder. She goes back to my boyfriend, back to my boyfriend. I...

I literally wanted to set the place on fire. Like... I would be seething. It's so like... It really isn't that big of a deal. It's not her fault because she probably genuinely thinks that I literally am obsessed with her boyfriend. Oh, that's fair. Like she... I know she believes that probably to her core and so it's really not her fault. But on his end, it's like...

What the fuck? Have you, like, if you see him alone, are you going to, like, cuss him the fuck out? Absolutely. Because I'm like, first of all, he knows, like... God, I want to be there for that. I want front row seats, WWE, SeatGeek. I'm not kidding. A list of a hundred fucking liars I can call if that's the mood I'm in. I am never, ever going to be...

I was never into him like that. So it just is so fucking frustrating. And I'm like fighting for my own life and embarrassed in front of my own fucking friends, not wanting to go out when he's there because he made up this elaborate story. And it's so fucking frustrating.

And now he's our next caller. Imagine he just phones in. Dude, that's fucking awful. I would absolutely just kill all parties. I feel like I've been all parties in this situation. I can confidently say I've been him, I've been her, I've been you. It's just so infuriating too because he knows like he was so, I thought he was the nicest guy. I thought so highly of him. I literally was like, oh my God, he's the sweetest. He was too nice for me to actually be interested in. I'm not kidding.

And he knows My experience This last year With liars And now you're gonna Lie On my name That's true Like that seemed to him About that Yeah so he sucks Horrible Is it forgivable Or you hate him forever No I hate him forever I understand And you know what He's fucking three feet tall I'm

I'm obsessed with those TikToks where they explain things that would send a Victorian child into a coma. And I just want to see if the canceled crew can do a speed round right now. We are calling in for Paige and we're just going to go back and forth and back and forth. Guys, one of these days we're going to have Paige on, but she has to be like blown out, fully done, blazer on, like ready. I thought you meant like blown out, like back blown out.

I don't know why. If a Victorian child saw me right now, they would die. So thank God I just have the mic. Wait, is this on? Okay. This thing launched like testing. The Home Depot lighting section. Oh yeah. They're like, what the fuck is that? Wait, when was it? Did they have lights in the Victorian era?

Definitely not right It's like candles But if you ask me gun to my head when the Victorian era was I mean either is it like Bridgerton Thomas Edison do you know one time I wrote an entire essay on how Benjamin Franklin invited invented the light bulb Wait and Thomas Edison What did Benjamin Franklin do I think he was a president electricity No no who's the other guy that did that I'm like Sir Isaac Newton Oh

Michaela Testa? Thomas Edison did the light bulb and Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity. But do you see how I could get the two mixed up? Absolutely. I don't understand at all. Benjamin Franklin invented energy. Invented energy is crazy. No one invented energy. Good God. That's the problem is like even when I want to learn like there's some... Oh my God, I'm so stupid. God.

is what i'm talking about i need to rebrand i had an epiphany the other day and like i was looking in the mirror and i was in this pink lightning bolt covered jumbo billy eilish era sweatsuit and i have on no makeup and like a track is showing and like it's just just anything bad you could really imagine was going on you know and i was like i want to marry like a sexy sexy rich man who's smart

And I'm not presenting that. Like, I'm presenting, like, hooker. You weren't presenting hooker, but you were... And then I'm presenting loud, dumb hooker when I talk. No, I feel like sometimes you really turn it on. Like, those really expensive men we were with in Arizona, I feel like you were very, like, eloquent and ingenious. I was in a lime green bikini with underboob doing...

It's so true. Maybe it was just the contrast because Lila was there. That's true. Lila's always good for kind of, you know what I mean? But it's just like, I need to rebrand. Like even today, I was looking at photos of Sofia Richie with Scott Disick and Sofia Richie with Elliot Grange. It's literally the rebrand of the century. And she's just like, she's the it girl. She's doing it so well that you look at it and you believe she's always been like that. Yeah, fully. Well, she kind of, I mean, she is Lionel Richie's daughter. Yeah, she's always been.

even classy but i just mean like i need something i like you know what i mean like i'll be here you're already going through kind of a classy rebrand like i want to be in a ballet flat reading a book mysterious as fuck button blazer i don't want to swear i should i dye my hair brown yes

Definitely not. But other than that, like, it's just, I don't know. I feel like you could do it. So you, you're trying to trap a, not trap. Okay. Trap is crazy. You're trying to land an Elliot Grange type. It's not even just the men of it all. It really is just like, I feel like it's time for a rebrand. But then today I was like hacking in a five-star restaurant and Ari was like, don't worry about your ballet flats. Like it's like your like personality. Yeah. You're doing for life. I don't know. I don't know. I think you could do it. Sobriety is helping.

I think a diva cup would send a Victorian child into a coma. What do you think they did for their period? Did they just like free blood into their bed? That's what I do when I want mine to be over. Everyone does that. See? Nope, nope, nope. Rebranding. You're right here. Fuck. In prison, what do they do too? I think they are allowed to have like pads and stuff in prison. They're not animals. It's the learning curve.

What do you think would send a Victorian child into a coma, Brooke? A strap-on? Wow. It's a child. Oh, we did it again? We did it again? I thought we were playing a Victorian person, not a Victorian child. What about you, Paige? I'm going to go the easy route and just say chewing mint gum and then drinking ice water. Oh my god, they didn't have gum. Or ice. Or ice. Well, maybe. Nobody had ice. That's actually occurring. No way.

God. One day was someone in like Alaska and they saw ice on the ground and they were like, this would be so lit for my orange juice in a cup. Like,

who took it there no one puts ice in orange juice first of all who really took it there i don't know but it happens like because i at one point was just an outside thing it is there's so many things that are like that like i think theovan just did a bit on that like who decided we should have chairs for the first time like all of a sudden something one guy was like i don't want to stand anymore i think about that all the time like if evolution and like

things were in my hands the wheel wouldn't even be invented right now yeah that's the thing like thank god for smart people because like literally i i'm not i'm too lazy i'm not out discovering we came from like grass and dirt and we have like wi-fi literally it's so bad because i look back on people like thomas edison shit i was like are you okay yeah babe your hair looks amazing

entering my sofia grain era maybe next year i look back like they just came across the light bulb when you really think about being a light bulb god no be a genius he tried he tried like like thousands and thousands of times before he was successful yeah you're gonna sit here and criticize him you're doing like peppa pig tiktok hauls

that would send a victorian child into a coma i feel like the world evolved so much but you're so right imagine that dude just like i'm gonna make it brighter in this room like nighttime and i'm gonna dedicate my whole life i know it's really sad i feel like we might just come to a halt eventually because like people are gonna stop trying to discover shit now it's just inventing things and then robots are gonna do it all it's so true robots are going to do everything i'm sorry

I saw someone fight a Postmates robot the other day. Swear to God. Swear to God. Like fist fight. I saw one that had the name. You know, it was unfair advantage. It was unclear who won. Dude, have you ever been on so many drugs that you like would fight a Postmates robot?

Not recently, no. But have you seen that? Like I resonate. Have you seen that video of the guy eating the guy on the side of the road? The Miami zombie? He did bath salts and then he literally ate a homeless person. Do you know that that kind of went viral around the time in my life where like bath salts, like if that story didn't come out, like I probably, like I just tried salvia and like what's the like fake weed, like spice and like all those things, like anything you could get over the counter that's like,

Like I probably, bath salts were probably next. Yeah, I'm really glad you didn't dabble. Shout out that guy. Because we probably wouldn't be sitting here right now. Yeah, not all heroes wear capes. What did you randomly remember? Oh, something that like everyone in my high school would do when we would party.

And like It just like Now that I'm an adult And I can look back on this This is not normal at all And like I had that thought For like the first time The other day Like this is fucking Absolutely insane So obviously As like teenagers You drink right Yeah Like

You're going to go out with your friends. You're going to drink like you're going to experiment with that type of shit. But at all of my like high schools, like big parties, like if there was a big party, people would get a cooler and they would go to the store and they would buy like a bunch of Hawaiian punch and like soda and whatever and like every alcohol and make a common drink.

Like jungle juice. Like a jungle juice. But then someone would come in and everyone was aware of this. This was not a drugging situation. Someone would come in and take like 15, 20, 25 Xanax and crush them up and pour them into the like cooler of jungle juice. And it was called Zeus. And everyone just drank it. It was like, I can't wait for the Zeus on Saturday night. Like X-U-I-C-E. What the fuck?

looking back like there's no way everyone's high school just like did that right that is really so crazy and i would do anything for one more cup i just feel like how can they make sure like what if like one glass is more concentrated than the others or like like how do they make sure it's like evenly distributed well like you know how if you put like kool-aid powder into like clear water like eventually all the water will be blue okay yeah i guess like what if you have like four glasses and it's like really like four bars

So as you know, I've been trying to find love again. Okay. Rebrand and kind of, you know, maybe go for, you know, the goal is always a normal, nice guy who has his shit together and he's successful. But I don't seem to attract those in my daily life. So I feel like I have to almost like outsource, which would be Hinge.

Yeah. And so I've been back on Hinge. I'm actually paying $49.99 a month right now. This is not a brand deal, by the way, like at all. And it really should be. It's so embarrassing. It really should be. Hinge sponsor us. For Hinge Unlimited. So I can like set all my preferences so that I get like my perfectly cultivated man, like an insane person. Uh-huh. And I've been having no luck. Like... So you get to choose every single one of his traits and you still can't find one? Yeah. Oh.

And Hinge has been successful for me in the past. I've been in a Hinge relationship. Yeah, you're good at Hinge. I have trouble following through and you're really good at that. I have to put them through an extreme screening process before I'll actually follow through. But that really requires like a lot of patience. Absolutely. It's like a side job. Like, you know what I mean? Because until you meet them and click, you're like...

Yeah, I'm just always on my grind, baby. But for some reason this time around, I'm just attracting the most like awful guys. Like I've had, I had so many like trying to think I had someone slide in and tell me that he wants me to fund his short film and gave me an entire pitch on why I should fund his short

film I mean at least he's like he's shooting for the stars that's admirable I respect it but that's just like absolutely insane I had another guy like we FaceTimed and he basically tells me this entire story about how like he met me at an LA party and I was cussing someone else out on the phone and he like thought I was gonna be like a giant fucking awful bitch but like went on this like two minute tangent about how he thought I was going to be like an awful bitch these are his words he probably thought he was giving you a compliment yeah like he was and it was just like insane jobless

Like half lives in Arkansas Like whole nine Like I'm really just like Not Lucking out At all on Hinge Aw man And I get a message The other day On Instagram Okay And this guy says Hey my ex-girlfriend Cheated on me With over 15 guys Half of which I knew personally Worked with Or had beef with

Suffice to say, this absolutely devastated me and she continues to torture me in sadistic ways even though I've cut off all contact. She's a big fan of you and I was wondering if I could take you out on a date for the sole purpose of driving her nuts. P.S. We've also matched on Hinge before. We've actually matched twice. That means someone along the way unmatched, right? You can't match twice. No, not on Hinge.

Oh no. The story unfolds. Here's the thing. I almost like feel like that I would do that. That feels like philanthropic. So I tweeted a screenshot of his message. I know but how horrible is that? You just put him on blast and now you probably made his situation worse. I didn't put his um. Yeah you did. You put his face and his name. No I didn't put his name. Yeah you did. No I didn't. You totally did. Oh.

Okay well you put his face His picture I'll follow up with him Someone sent that to the girl To be honest with you I'm sorry That's what I do If you're sending me a DM Like that's what I do There's a chance that if it's insane like that It might end up on my fucking shit But I posted it Because I've been just posting on my Twitter Like chronicles of me like failing on Hinge So I posted it just like as a joke And I thought all the responses would be like Yeah that's insane Like that's so weird And all the responses were like Go on the date Yeah

I mean, theoretically, I thought he was hot if I hearted him on Hinge. Maybe that's the beginning of like a real love story. Like, I feel like he could, it could be like, oh, let's just do this to make someone mad. And then you guys actually just fall in love. But here's my only issue.

60% of those situations I might be her Like and I ride Even just now I was reading his message And I was like he cheated on me Like I ride for women Treating men like shit Imagine like your ex Like if you're her Like idol Or she looks up to you Or whatever Like imagine Chris Miles Goes on a date with Miley Cyrus You would kill yourself

That's kind of what I'm saying. That's what he was trying to do. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. Like if my ex went on a date with my fucking idol, I would fucking kill myself. Wait, at least Cyrus was a bad example. He literally dated his sister. Yeah. Like I want to be riding for my girl, you know? Oh, so you're sympathizing with her situation. Yeah, like I almost feel terrible to do that because I think nine times out of 10, I'd be her in that situation. But remember, you're rebranding. Because like, why'd you get cheated on 15 times? Okay, fuck.

Oh no. Oh no. I shouldn't have said that. I don't necessarily mean that. I do agree. It's never the woman's fault. A woman has never been at fault. I think cheating is ultimately wrong. But I think that there are situations where you can be in an emotionally abusive relationship that's harder to get out of. I'm like, yeah, it's emotionally abusive. All right. But you're the abuser. No, but I'm saying like a guy can be like fucking awful and terrible and it's hard to get out of a relationship and sometimes maybe...

one cheat will do the trick i love how tinks is like writing a book right now like if i wrote a book i'd write that in the book yeah maybe maybe hold off for a second no i do think there are situations where cheating is okay but at that point it's like why don't you just get rid of them absolutely but i know it's harder than that so should i go on the date i'm not gonna i think you should go on the date but will he even still have you yeah i wonder i guess we'll find out i feel like he's probably a little upset i would go and i think that it's gonna end up being really great and you guys are probably gonna fall in love

I've done that where I like go out with a guy just to spite my ex or something and then I end up like in love with him instead. That's valid. But would you actually go? Like imagine getting ready and going to sit down at a restaurant. Like would you like I'm I'm sincerely like debating it. Yeah. Free dinner. That's true.

You're literally a billionaire. So awkward. And like a free meal? It sounds so awkward and awful. So we've discussed Pool Boy a lot on this episode or on this podcast. Honestly, in general, we talk about him literally every single episode. The appeal of Pool Boy is that like he's like your boyfriend for the day. Like he's just very, he's just a sweetie, sweetheart. And like, you just, it's like you get your fix if like you wish you were in a relationship. Yeah, it's important to have people like that. Yeah, he's good for it.

But recently he broke the fourth wall by telling me about another girl. Okay. I can't say who, but he did it. Like literally we were just together and he just brought her up and was like, yeah, I'm in love with her. And I was like, you can't do that. Like it's like neither of us want to date each other, but like you can't do that. Because in this moment in time, we are dating until I leave your house. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just like, you've ruined the allure. Like,

I think that you can completely be friends with benefits with someone and fuck buddies, but I'll never allow that. But then again, that's why I date all the people that I fuck because I like let it progress. But like, it can't be that homey and then you just have sex. Yeah. To me, that's like, I don't know. Anyway. Well...

I was not upset about it, but I was like, hmm, kind of weird for a second until I just did the exact same thing to him. So what happened? Tana sent me a little tidbit of information the other day that led me to believe that a guy that I used to see was messing around at the same time with like somebody else that he was like me. Yeah. That makes sense. And I had the spiral of a lifetime and in my bed. Oh, poor boy's in my bed.

So when I sent this text to you and keep in mind, I'm trying to let my girl know what's good. Like if this man's playing her, she's he's playing us. Like, you know what I mean? If he fucked up, I was so glad you sent it to me. But I happened to be with pool boy at that given moment. Yeah. Fully like he's he's next to me, but naked. OK. And I I'm not kidding. I have the spiral of a lifetime. I am like, do you want you? Do you look at what I sent you next to fully show it to him and everything?

I mean, because now that's just that. Now that's the vibes. Yeah. I start literally crying. Were you naked? Were you naked crying about one other? Crying about one man to another man who was literally in my bed. I felt so bad. But like he was so helpful. Did he?

Honestly, it made me have like a whole new appreciation for him because I swear to God, it ended up being like the bit of information was misinformed. Okay. It wasn't accurate. It was a misunderstanding. He wasn't seeing me and another girl at the same time. It was like, it was not real. But-

in the moment it was real to me so i'm like fucking just making the biggest scene ever and he poor pool boy is sitting there like uh like what do we do i'm like do i text him he's like put your phone down he's like do not text him like he was like you don't deserve that just so like sweet and he's like you're so much better than that like you should be with somebody like with all these qualities and i was like pool boy in that moment

Did that send him more to friend or more to like bae? Because it's like, you know what I mean? Like I could see my weird twisted brain being like, oh my God, you're actually such a good guy. And then like liking him more. No, I don't think it was one or the other. I think it was just like, I feel like it made us like closer, like emotionally because he was so, he really helped me in that moment. And like, I mean, it ended up not even being true anyway, but I was like, how sweet. Yeah.

That's hilarious. But I did feel a little bad because I'm like, how are we like, what are we going to do now? Like, I just literally cried about another guy. And then what? You guys just went to sleep? Yep. Like, that's honestly a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful story. Yeah. Like, I've never had that, though, because like, usually I like all the guys I hook up with. It's not that I don't like him, but like, he's just like, like, it's just it's purely it's very much just a. OK. Yeah.

Ritualistic, I guess you could say. So I take this as my sign from God to finally slide in this musician's DMs. And I think I have before and he didn't reply and I unsend it. So this, I know that by the way, when I say, I think it's just to like protect my ego. I say this to you all the time, but like you can't unsend a message. You have 6 million followers. Like they, like they saw it. You know what I mean? Like you shouldn't be doing that. It's one of those things that just helps me sleep better at night. You know what I mean? And I'm not crazy with it. Like Lila, I feel like I've only hit an unsend resend a couple times in my fucking life. Okay. Okay.

And I slide in on him and he responds immediately. And we start DMing and it's like super flirty and like funny and like voice memos, photos. It's an interactive set of messages. You know what I mean? And we're kind of like feeling each other's vibe a little bit, you know? And he's making jokes. He's like, is this going to end up on the podcast? That clearly wasn't a joke. I'm just like flirting back and forth, whatever. I think nothing of it. We go to bed that night. I'm keeping up with my regular roster at the time.

We wake up the next day and we have the canceled podcast launch dinner. And I decide to kind of at the time bring TikTok boy as like my my date. Why did you literally act like you were in pain when you said it? Because date is a strong word. He was your date. I was debating between date and plus one. But plus one is crazy when you invited 60 people to that. Yeah. Like, you know, you get what I'm saying. Like, I was. Yeah. And we're sitting at dinner.

and we're vibing out and I'm you know him and I are talking chatting we're all just like hanging out whatever and then I gave Diablo a plus one for dinner and things that should never happen sincerely and um he brings one of his friends Khalil whatever time goes by and then all of a sudden I feel Diablo creep up behind me and TikTok boy and

And he's standing there with the fucking musician that I was like, and I'm like holding hands with the tough boy. Like, it's very clear. Like, he probably walked into us like, you know what I mean? Like, just making out. Yeah. And like, I turn around and we just make the most awful eye contact in the entire world. Like, it's just like, and I don't even know what to do. I just start laughing and I'm like, hey, like, how are you? And it's just like, so fucking awkward. So awkward. Okay.

And so I'm like, whatever. You know, the cards unfolded that way. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I go back to dinner. Who fucking cares? Whatever. And then I've like responded to stories before and it's all like normal interactions and whatever. And the other day, he, the musician, because it's been like some time now. And I was like, yeah, I might as well try to re-spark whatever that was. He posts a story about

of a flyer of like a show that he's doing in like LA that night and I was like OMG I want to come first of all I don't even like his music I just I just want to you know I want to come support like type of that was my energy whatever two minutes go by and he messages me oh no ticket no he unfollowed me by a

He is so iconic for that. It's not good because he did it to you, but if he did it to anybody else, I'd be like, go off. That's hilarious. I'm not saying I'm against buying a ticket, but I really wasn't. I was hoping we would go down a path where the energy wasn't buying a ticket. That is insane. Do you think it's because he saw you with the guy and he was probably like, ugh, she's a little slimy? I don't know. I don't know either. Do you know that that was an awkward night for him and I as well? Because...

As you may or may not recall, he lived in the apartment directly next to mine. This guy was also Brooke's neighbor. He was my hot neighbor. You've probably seen my TikToks about him. But it was really interesting because he had just moved out of my apartment complex. So I took that as a sign and I made a TikTok about him as my hot neighbor. And then I had to see him at the launch party. And I was like, I just never thought I was going to see him again. And there he was. I think that you...

Could definitely redeem that And honestly I think this is your story arc I am done I am out Well it was like In a really interesting dynamic We had because he He thought I was Two different people He When I didn't have makeup on And if we were like In the elevator together No acknowledgement Like he would not say a word If I had makeup on He'd be like Oh my god how are you Good to see you

I was so humbled by that I was literally like oh my god Am I doing that much with the makeup Maybe like one little screws loose up there No I think he like wholeheartedly thought He didn't know me when I didn't have makeup on And he did when I did Yeah I never want to see him again I'm like should we buy tickets and go Imagine we just post on our story That'd be funny for the viewers Honestly really funny move though Because if a guy was DMing me Listen I'm always on your team I'm always on her team

But if a guy was DMing me and then I ran into him the next night and he was like holding hands with a girl, I'd be like, you little rat. It's fucked up because I really wouldn't catch you on the phone. Maybe I would. I guess I would probably think a little bit differently. And to be fair, maybe I'm reading way into this and we were never flirting and maybe he just genuinely was like buying a ticket. Maybe he thought you guys were pals and then maybe he posted like one too many things he didn't want to see. He just unfollowed you. God, that's so insane. Sincerely. Really bold move. I guess I'm never finding love.

You're going to find love and it's going to be good and it's not going to be a musician. Death to musicians. Do you think all therapists should be mentally ill? That's my opinion. That's my hot take. I think that if you are a therapist, you should have mental illness because how else are you going to relate to me and understand what I'm talking, what you're talking about? I don't want to talk to somebody who's never had a spiral like mine. Well,

Like imagine the last sentence started to like, like I'm, I'm less shocked by what you're saying. No, I want someone to be so smart and have studied spirals like mine, but they're perfectly sane. Yeah. But like, imagine it had, I never had a headache and you told me I had a, you had a headache. Like I would feel bad for you, but I wouldn't know what I was talking about. Therapist job is to empathize. I think a therapist job is to give you thought provoking tools to,

In order to change the patterns that you want to change. Thought-provoking tools and thoughts and sentiments. Okay. Because I want empathy from my friends. I don't want my therapist to feel bad for me. I don't want them to feel bad for me. I want them to relate to me and understand what I'm saying. And see why I did what I did. But then how could you ever get better if you're taking advice from someone who has the same issues as you? Because they now know how to fix it.

That's why it's so helpful honestly to talk to my mom whenever something bad is happening because I'm like I I need to talk to a mentally ill person because she's like she'll be like, okay Yeah, I would do that too. But this is what you should do instead. Oh, yeah so anyway, if you are a therapist and you have mental illness call me because right now my therapist literally my last one was like Just get a new boyfriend. I swear to god. That was yeah therapist advice. Uh-huh You should go to my therapist. That's not a good idea

Imagine us having the same therapist. I'm like venting about you. I would never vent about you. I don't vent about you. You don't give me that much trouble. Okay, I want to do a hot take. I liked your little hot take thing. Should we make it a segment? Men should not hiccup. Ever. I didn't know that I felt this way until the other night. Hunter had the hiccups. It was the most embarrassing thing.

That is embarrassing. But I'm a hiccup or I that's how I know I'm too drunk. That's honestly that night that I'm talking about that night that I sent myself home. I had the hiccups and I was like, I'm out. Hiccups are just weirdly overall so embarrassing. It is. When you have the hiccups, are you embarrassed? I'm embarrassed. I got the hiccups an hour later after thinking that about Hunter. So I got my karma. Yeah, it is embarrassing. But it's like, I don't know. I feel like it's a drunk thing. Like I get them when I'm drunk, like really drunk. I get them when I eat Wendy's spicy chicken nuggets, even one.

Every single time without fail. And like I had one. I'm so fucking sorry. Yeah, men shouldn't be able to do a lot of things. I want to say this is 80% towards men. 20% women as well though. You should never use the phrase P.S. in any context. Other than maybe ironically like you're making fun of something or someone.

Can you use it in a sentence? Like what provoked this thought? The other day, I'll actually reference the exact Instagram caption. And if you're this person and you're watching this podcast and you might be, I'm really sorry that I'm saying this about you, but honestly, you need to do better. The whole Instagram caption as a whole is actually like a serious problem that I want to unpack. But specifically the P.S. is what sent me over the edge. Low quality picture, high quality vibes, hard eyes. Thank you blank for always going above and beyond. Like they were out of place. P.S.,

Who am I seeing for the festival February 24th and 25th? I don't even feel like they used it right. P.S. basically just means like, by the way, I'm adding this. Like, yeah, but can you can you can you P.S. a question? Because it's like, yeah, like I don't think you should be able to. I just like try to say it to me right now. You have to stop getting work done. P.S. Your lip flip looks stupid.

See, but that doesn't count because it's like sassy and ironic. Try to be genuine right now and say P.S. to me. I can't. So no one ever should. Okay. Honestly, that's so true. No one should ever do anything that I can't do. Olivia O'Brien reached out to me via DM. Okay, well, that was helpful that she did it in there. She finally went to the DMs and she said, I saw your podcast, blah, blah, blah. Like, I never saw them, whatever. I should have just left her on scene to really even it out.

It would have been really funny. It would have been like a, like a move that that guy would have done. Buy a ticket guy. Buy a ticket. Buy a ticket. Do you know my goal for the next canceled set? We were talking about this the other night is everything that has become like a bit. I want to put on set. Like I want there to be a pool net for like pool boy in the back, like a big red rock for he left me at the red rock. Like,

something hilarious like little trinkets from each of our little stories like a little picture of marianne in the back absolutely marianne in a frame i think it could be like a really sick way to do a set i think so too we should probably get that going i feel like people are bored of the couch yeah i'm just fucking homeless dude oh yeah so homeless i've been do you want to talk about that how you keep getting denied for a house honestly i might get so worked up i literally cry i've been touring houses i've

for what feels like forever because I was looking to buy and then now I'm looking to rent and it's this whole fucking mess. It's figured out now. We are buying soon.

Worry about yourselves. They were going to say that, honestly. I've been touring houses for what feels like this whole year. Like, and I've just seen the same thing so many fucking times. And I recognize that I'm looking for a lot in a house. Like, I need a master closet that's like the size of this fucking room because I have so many clothes. I need a space we can podcast in because the goal is to eventually also have a living room, not just...

podcast living room. That's really it. I can't find it anywhere. You just have really high standards. I want to live in either Hollywood or Sherman Oaks, like very specific areas. There's not a lot on the market right now. After looking and looking and looking, I finally find a house and it is

so cheap it is so under my budget it's thousands more square feet than i thought it is in my prime area it's five minutes from you it's five minutes from jeff it's fucking five minutes from everything i fucking do it's it has an entire second house that's like this upstairs office loft giant massive area that would have been an office and a set for canceled beautiful

insane fucking house it used to be my friend's house i would go there a lot like i'm familiar with it i liked it as their house i want it as mine i'm stoked the master bedroom is beautiful there's a fucking espresso coffee maker in the wall in my master bedroom i can get unnecessary and for under budget do you know what i mean come on like i don't need that but like for under my budget i would love to have that thank you literally so much i apply for this house i have never ever

ever, ever been rejected for a house in my entire life. At times where I had shit credit, at times where I didn't have the funds to rent the house that I wanted to rent, like, and was just like hoping they wanted to have me there. Even like,

after just content house eras everything like i've never had trouble renting a house in my entire life i finally find this house it's all over i'm so excited like what feels like literally six months of touring houses i finally found something with everyone paying me rent i'm paying like nothing it's perfect whatever i apply my realtor tells me like you might as well think you've gotten the house because it's like one of those fucking

LA McMansion ass like they only really rent to like young people because like that's the market for it like yeah I could pay the year lease in full if I needed to and just it wouldn't like the price is so good that it's sincerely like it's if they looked at my proof of funds they'd be like of course she can have this so on and so forth my credit is perfect now whole nine normally they get back to you in like 24 hours right

And so my realtor, she's like, yeah, you definitely got this. She's rented me a million houses before. You're fine, whatever. I start furniture shopping for this house. Like I'm like ordering shit and like about to send it there. Whole nine. They make me wait seven days.

And they reject me. No explanation. Oh. People never do that. If they reject you, they're going to tell you why. No, I don't. Not in my experience because I have been rejected. Like when I was... I mean, it's apartments, so it's different. But like they just reject you and say they took another applicant. I understand that completely at an apartment or a leasing office. But usually when you're like wanting to rent a house, it's like one specific person and their reasoning usually as to why. Or like...

A lot of times people will want to make it mendable. Like, oh, your credit's not this good. Like, would you give me a bigger deposit? Yeah, that's what's so crazy. It's like they almost just like didn't want to. And my rental history is amazing. Like all of my landlords can vouch like so on and so forth. And then...

come to find out that my friend who used to live there he would throw like fucking ragers so they basically just like don't want anyone young like so on and so forth but now I find out this week that they rejected a family and a single guy who offered to pay the lease in full who was a writer and like he would like stay up all night and like write and then sleep all day and they didn't want they told him they reached out to him and they were like we don't want someone in our house that's just gonna sleep all day in it

Okay, that's weird. But it does sound like they can afford to be picky because apparently it's in high demand. But then why the fuck is your house for rent if you're rejecting families, you're rejecting people who want to give you the lease in full, you're rejecting like a tenant who would just pay you rent and fucking... I don't know. Yeah, you would think that it's like if you...

Can get like thousands and thousands of dollars a month Why would you not but I guess they can do they just don't want from you So now I spent this whole week that I could have spent touring other houses that are now gone and off the market looking for Furniture for a house that no longer exists. I have to start from the bottom up again Like what's on the market again, like show me new things whatever I feel like it's it's gonna end up working out. You're gonna find something that you like more Oh, no, this doesn't even end here. Oh, no

I tour like 10 more houses. And that is just, it's a whole day. Like I'm pushing off work shit because I'm driving all around to like tour houses. And all I need theoretically is a podcast studio and a decent sized closet. Finally, after like a couple days of like 10 houses, I come across this house. It's one street over from the original house. Perfect location.

It's three stories. It has an elevator. It's still under my budget. It has a movie theater, an insane podcast studio space, like outdoor cabanas, pool, whole nine rooftop deck, whole views of Hollywood. It's beautiful. It's stunning. It's there's an atrium. Like you walk into the middle of your house or just glass and like a fucking tree. It's beautiful. And it's so under my budget again. And none of these other houses are, these two are like extreme anomalies. Like right now the market is shit anyways. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I tour it immediately. I'm in love with it. The guy who like owns it and is like listing it out and whatever's there, I'm hitting it off with him. He's hot. He wants to be an actor. I'll fund his short film. And we're touring this house. We're walking around. It's whole nine. He tells me a Clippers player lived there. He'd love to have me. So on and so forth. I fall in love with this house. I apply. 24 hours later, they tell me I'm approved.

Life is so good. I can finally stop the house hunting journey. I'm shopping for furniture. The house is brown. There's gold hardware. I'm looking at brown bed frames. I'm shopping, looking at nightstands. Oh, this would go with the floor. You know, we took a 360 video. I'm going to hang my closet rack rods here. Oh, the podcast studio canceled neon sign would look great along that wall. There's a movie theater. Do I want love sacks or do I want chairs? I'm having a

ball all of this journey that I've gone through is just all worth it I have a dream home in a dream location at a dream price you know God gives his battles it was worth it I understand these are champagne problems and I sound very out of touch bitching and you know but I'm so excited it was all worth it I'm moving I can finally stop paying way too much for here life is good and what did he do

The owners of the house reach out to my landlord and I can't even say what they said because they said a slur. That's how bad this was. They reach out saying, just fucking kidding. We Googled her and we don't want a YouTuber living in our house. Something someone might call like a... What the fuck? Someone who raises hell. Can you sue for like discrimination? I found out that you can and it's so fucked because it's like...

I do not need to spend my time in lawyer fees on that. I literally need to spend my time finding a house. But for the satisfaction of it all, because they should not be able to get away with that. Like just say, say you denied me for another reason or say like make up a lot. I wrote them. Before you say that. I wrote them a three page MLA formatted letter. As you should. And sent it to them. Like I'm furious. And then I still came back crawling on my knees. I'll give you the lease in full. I'll give you more rent. What can you do? I'm so embarrassing. Seriously. No. Why would you ever even want to be in that person's house? Oh, because you need one. I need one. And it's perfect. And.

And I felt so happy Like okay I loved that last house That I got rejected from But that was an anomaly I've never been rejected In my entire life Like It's gonna happen again You're gonna You're gonna be like It's I'm glad I didn't get that one Because I should've had this one

I don't think it's they both might have just been like very much so too good to be true. Well, that's the thing. It's not every time you say under budget, it's like, OK, yeah, someone else is going to get it. I completely understand it. Just I just wanted it to be me. And I get that like one YouTuber ruins it for all the YouTubers in the realty space. Like one influencer drives a motorcycle off of a roof for a vlog and everyone wants to like or like whatever the fuck.

It is hard I understand it From their perspective too Because it feels like A liability It's like you don't want The neighbors to hate you You don't want like And it is I mean It just sucks Although there's never Been any parties here Like That's what I'm Like it Yes I'm a YouTuber And yes I make crazy videos But I sincerely Always have kind of

For the 99.5% of my career Done it outside of my house Like I very much use my house As just like my little situation My little sanctuary The homies come over Sanctuary is pushing it For sure Sanctuary is so pushing it

Sanctuary is pushing it. Like, I haven't done, like, Molly off that counter. But, like, you know, I mean... I don't know. Hopefully, it's going to end up working out. I know it is, but it is frustrating because you're, like, seriously, like, I can't catch a break. And I'm just, like, I really wish they'd give me a chance. I really am friends with, like, all my landlords. Yeah, so I'm homeless.

And in 12 days, pretty much, maybe 15. It's actually like 20. I'm lying. I knew all along you're going to end up having to do another month here, which isn't the end of the world, but it is frustrating because it is overpriced here.

And they're charging me month to month now, which is like extremely more than it even was at its overpriced rate. To be fair, I started renting this house and the rental market was even worse. You could come stay with me and Murphy. I think I'm going to have to. I'm really like weighing out my options. Like it might get to that like shit in storage and I'm like couch surfing. I would love to see you in an apartment, like literally just living by yourself. Like not an apartment, but like the penthouse that Lila sent. Like huge.

Huge high rise Like beautiful apartment Big you can have all this space in the world But I feel like you just don't want to live alone I'm just not a And not even necessarily Even if I could live in like a loft with one other person Like it was a big one or some shit Like I still just I don't know I'm such an apartment girl Like I would love I would love to like raise in a Like raise a family in like a really nice big apartment Because it just feels like

Houses are so. Houses are more maintenance, but I like feeling like I'm in my own space. There's no one above me. There's no one below me. Like this is my house. Like I don't know. Like I would just. I feel so safe. Like I'm like there's someone above me and there's someone below me. I don't know. That whole tangent was probably pointless. I've just been stressed of a lifetime this week trying to find a house. You're going to find one and it's going to be great. In a good price range that we can shoot cancel that.

That's Have a jolly old time Are we gonna build out a set In a rental house? Yeah Not a Build out a set Like get cute furniture Get cute props Like I said I wanted to do like Shelving behind us With all the like

Like Theo Von said, how he has like all kinds of little trinkets behind him. Exactly. Like maybe a neon sign if we're feeling spunky. Like just more so not like three pieces of my couch, five inches from my couch. Yeah, sorry about this, guys. Like, you know what I mean? I would love like an area that just stay, like how we have to move the cameras and shit. Like it would just be nice. No one wants to hear about this. This is such an off-camera conversation. Seriously, I would have tuned out hours ago. Matt Reif is ghosting us. He is.

I've never had someone like dangle being on our podcast, like a carrot for a rabbit more than anyone. I feel like he made us feel like it was his idea. And then now I feel like embarrassed how much we're asking him to come on it. But it's like, I couldn't agree more with the people want it. And that's the thing is I will put aside all like pride and shame to make some shit happen for content that people want. But it is getting fucking embarrassing. It is like he's making us literally beg him to come on.

I would love to have him come on. Do you guys like guest episodes? I feel like I see mixed reviews. Like sometimes people like them. Sometimes people don't. We have like a plethora of guest episodes coming up, like an insane amount. And I like I'm scared that the people might like this. But honestly, why would anyone like this more? Yeah, not after this one. I woke up the other day. And like I said, I've been having a really shoddy week when it comes to waking up to this.

Just bad news. I woke it up pretty much every single day this week to bad news. And the only day I didn't wake up to bad news, I opened my phone and my Instagram DMs are just so much like mentioned you in their story, mentioned you in their story, mentioned you in their story. And it's not like random people. It's like,

things. And that's never usually a good thing. Like if I wake up and my Instagram DMs are like me being tagged in a bunch of fucking news accounts and like press thing story, like I usually did something that I'm going to have to then apologize for. I click on one and it says Idubbbz has apologized to Tana Mongeau. I'm like checking the date. I'm like, is this April Fool's Day? Like what's what's going on? I just I sooner thought I would die before I would ever see anything.

Like that. And it's funny because like two weeks ago, Oscar was like, you would have the most viral episode of canceled. And like, it could be good for you to have I dubs on and like try to squash, uh,

I don't even know if you can call that beef or just talk about things like, you know what I mean? Blah, blah. And I was like telling him like I would sooner have on Joe Biden. Like it would never happen in the sense that like I didn't ever think he would. You know what I mean? I didn't want to like, hey, like we've never talked one time like ever, ever, ever. We've never, ever spoken. And I guess he posted this apology video apologizing for like a bunch of things he did in the past. One of them being the video he made with me or like to me.

And I was like, damn, like I just never expected that. And I don't know how I feel about it, you know, because like, and I don't know how to say this. I'm, I'm not talking about,

anything in regards of the things he said, but I'm more so just talking about like his actions to me, like, you know, him showing up to my show, him kind of putting me on blast, him inevitably making me kind of canceled and lose subscribers and have to apologize and all that type of stuff. I kind of think I like deserved that.

And maybe that's like dark, like to say, but like, I don't feel like I'm owed an apology. And maybe that's because I've accepted it so much that like people always ask me if you could go back in time and like make that never happen. Like, would you? And I always say no, because I feel like at the time it was obviously a very Oscar goes cry. Yeah.

Like it was a very dark time period of my life when it came to like self-reflection and trying to figure shit out. And like, I think I would be a completely different person if I didn't have that. I think it like,

I was on track to just be so on my high horse and like egotistical and like nothing could go wrong that something going wrong gave me such a dose of reality that like this might not last forever. Like, yeah, you need to be held accountable for actions. You, I don't know, like it, like it made me do so much necessary growth. And I think it also changed the entire trajectory of my career in life. Like I don't even think canceled would be here if like I didn't,

canceled a bunch to and that was kind of the start of that to like shape that brand for me like it wasn't like I went into this being like I'm canceled like I'm scandalous like if anything I wanted to be brand safe to an extent you know what I mean and just like everything I feel like it really shaped the course of my life and so I guess because of how much I wouldn't go back in time and like change anything I've never like felt like I like deserved an apology for that I was like

I feel like you had that coming and like, you know what I mean? I feel like both things can be true at the same time. Like he can be wrong, but it can also like have been not like beneficial, but it was like a part of your little journey. Like it was important to the storyline. I didn't think about that, that those things can both coexist. Yeah. You know, in my head, he still did something wrong. He was in the wrong and he like shouldn't have done it, but that's not to say something good. Couldn't have come up like out of it. Yeah, I agree. Just,

Just looking back as well I think Even at the time I was more like You know I can't believe All of this is happening But like you were Poking the bear Like I was the one Who mentioned him first And like At the time I had this boyfriend Who was like so obsessed With him And I just like Remember being like I don't I don't get this obsession And I just like Voiced it so incorrectly And it's like bitch You had a stick And you were poking The fucking bear

Yeah. Like that, those are the videos he was making at the time. Did you think, I think I honest to God thought I was like just too small of a creator for him to like make a whole content cop on. Cause at the time those are getting like 40 million views and he's doing them on like, I just never thought I was in that like caliber. You know what I mean? So then when it happened, it was like, oh shit.

yeah i don't know enough about it i don't know what happened that's fair it's been it's just been like so i was like 18 19 at most like when this happened i still lived in vegas like it happened so so so long ago so i think that's why i was so shook and like didn't know what to think i wonder what like what what happened that made him feel like he should just apologize all of a sudden in the video he kind of feels like i don't know that's a part of his journey in the video he kind of talks about having like an awakening and like an

essentially an ego death those aren't his words but like that's kind of what i took from that that like he now can like feel so much more empathy towards things he was doing and at the time he feels like he like didn't i believe in that i mean good for him if he's really just like on some sort of growth journey absolutely honestly i mean i feel like it's right for him to apologize i feel like you just did deserve an apology whether maybe you think you deserved the video or not

I don't know how to, it's, you know, I don't, I don't really, you should have them on it. Yeah. It was just, it was one of those things where I was just really shocked and everyone's tweeting me wanting my response. And I was like, I'm genuinely like, I have no words. So it's taken me like a week to kind of form that. And then I tweeted and I was like,

I wonder if he'd come on canceled podcasts. Like I would love to like talk to him at length. And then he messaged me and it's even just crazy, like opening my phone and like seeing that we're like messaging. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Like I just, it was not on my bingo card for this year at fucking all, you know? And I think he's going to come on canceled and okay. Yeah. Jeff has offered to fill in for you on that episode.

Yeah, I would like that. I honestly, I had to Google it like when you first said it because I was like, I don't want to be so uneducated that it's crazy. And it's not. I was just not really in it. And it's not even that I want to like bring light back to that stuff because it is like clear. It seems like we're both so far removed from all of that. And even like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like kind of just bringing it all back up again. Yeah. But I think that.

At the same time, like that is why this is called canceled in so many ways. I've had so many scandals and they all are like, I don't want to dumb this one down to a scandal because it really was like intense. Like I feel like it's just so long ago that I've like really let that

like let everything die you know sort of like reignite it all to me kind of also does feel like unnecessary and stupid and pointless yeah but him apologizing also was never a part of this yeah he kind of just for me he kind of got the ball rolling I don't know y'all wanted a response those are my thoughts

Slay I was gonna say slay I wish I knew more Yeah On that note Thank you so much I feel like it's almost better To end it now Because if we just went back Into like I think Benjamin Franklin's stupid Like it's a terrible podcast So I think I think that we should end it Maybe on a serious note God I really hope

You guys still watch the canceled podcast after this episode? I really have faith in the edit. We're just, we're going to chop it up and screw it up and it's going to be a decent podcast. But I definitely might have learned a lesson today about smoking weed in a podcast setting. Sometimes it creates for the hoot. But today. But more often than not, it is a. There was no hoot in sight. There was a little hoot in sight. I hooted a bit. Bye guys. Wow.