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hello and welcome back to the cancelled podcast episode 37 something episode something my brain is mush today i am today well it's always mush you fucking cunt tana's like in a fighting mood today she's been pretty sassy i woke up today and ari just pissed me off to high heavens upon being awake for 20 minutes that's new ah
Yeah fair But normally I feel like I can handle it And today it just Has Because I was already In like a little bit of a spiral These past two days And it's just That's not the person To be around If you're already spiraling Exactly Like I needed The opposite energy Than what Ari provides Oh yeah You needed an Amari Yeah exactly I need just like a funny Light hearted happy Like human Like I'm spiraling all day And Ari's in the car Like I'm gonna fucking kill myself If I don't have a Maserati tomorrow And I'm sitting there It's a real thing That came out of his mouth It's an actual real sentence Like Tara's world
Bought her dad a Maserati Yeah Which is crazy Wait did she really Yeah she bought her dad An expensive ass Maserati God bless her heart Dude she was making So much money She's making I don't know If this is public knowledge No she said I mean she said on Plan B That she makes like
Average like 300k a month On OnlyFans And then Like two months ago I think she went up to like 500 Yeah but So she watered out of Maserati And Ari You know how Ari is Like something good Happens to someone else And it makes him like Hate his own life so much That is really Like indicative of like What type of person you are Like if someone else's successes Make you unhappy Like
No offense, Ari. Oh my God. One of the top comments on Jeff FM on the last episode I was on and one of the top comments on our last podcast was that I need to do 75 hard butt for men.
Oh wait Brilliant Wait like Like celibacy Yeah Basically But I think I'm doing that Unintentionally right now I would actually Rather die Like I'd get a gun Probably I was gonna say What would you rather Give up for For 75 days Well I guess I know Because you're already Doing the alcohol thing I could just never I really But I do need to Dial it back I was thinking
I was thinking about this today. I need to go like one week of the podcast without airing out my love life because I think that things are going to start changing. It's hard, especially because our turnaround time isn't that quick, but your turnaround time is pretty quick. That's no, literally today. That's what I was saying. I was like anything I could say right now on this microphone about my love life. You'll be seven days. I think I will change. I don't know if it's a new moon right now, but that's what I feel. I'm about to do some.
Revamping Some home improvement On my love life You know I need to do that as well I need to toss out Well there's really no one in it But I need to bring some people in Ari's getting a little lower On my pyramid right now Top of the pyramid Is Lila Oh she's your favorite person She's my favorite person In the friend group right now
She's absolutely up there on mine as well. I brought her to stagecoach. We brought her to Phoenix. She has been the funniest fucking person alive. Yeah. She's been really on one lately. Like I don't want to jinx it because I'm afraid that like tomorrow she's going to be my least favorite person in the world. But like right now I'm like, she is everything. She is. Cause I do this thing with Lila where there's two weeks where it's like, I would literally go to war for you. I would kill for you. You are my soulmate. You're my best friend. You're the funniest person I've ever met.
And then two weeks later, she's like shitting herself in my Fendi dress and gaslighting me about it. You know, it's like I think that really happened. No, that really that's that was like a combined two stories that really happened. Like there was a Fendi dress story and a shitting herself story. Right. Insane. I want to show this video of her in LAX yesterday. Or should we wait and just go through all of it? Let's get there from let's start at the beginning.
So we went to Phoenix this weekend and we had a canceled podcast live show. Everything. It was one of the best weekends of my life. It was so fun. It was my hometown. So I was so excited. Obviously, I've never done a live show before. So it was like my first. Well, and starting off our live show in your hometown, I think was special. I think that we were so nervous. Yeah.
Because the opportunity to do this live show and kind of start the canceled podcast tour came like it's been in the talks for a while. But the Phoenix show itself like was presented to us like two weeks ago. Literally. And I was calling you like we're not going to like that's not enough time. We're not going to sell any tickets. Like every time we'd sit down to podcast, we forget to mention it on the podcast. I know. So it wasn't until like a few days before that we finally were like, by the way.
We have a show promoting it on Snapchat. Like I was so nervous. And then by the grace of God, we sold out the show. It was amazing. And I don't think at the time we really even I mean, maybe you did, but I didn't understand how many people were going to be there. No, I thought it was like a 300 cap venue. And then we get there and we walked in there. We were like, oh, this is huge. The show was massive and so much fucking fun. And it's just I haven't done a tour or a live show in like.
and years of my life since like before the pandemic and like so much has changed like that scary feeling of like is anyone going to come like am I going to do good on stage like yeah whole nine we started flying to Phoenix on what Thursday I don't even know I feel like I've lived eight lives since then and immediately upon arriving at the airport I could just tell that this entire weekend was like not going to be a normal experience oh at all like I
Should we just start with the fucking crazy van? Coffee Bean. Okay. We're walking by Coffee Bean, you guys. We're just walking, not even honestly anywhere near Coffee Bean. It's like 100 feet away. We already went through TSA. We're walking through the gates. We're just walking to our gate and we hear, Tana! From across the airport.
Okay. And it's a, it's the girl behind the coffee bean counter. She's the cashier. She is on the clock. She fully on the clock. And then she's the only person working. Like there's no one else working. She's the only person. And there's a line of like 30 geriatric old people trying to get a cappuccino before their flight. And so imagine this whole line of 30 people's now I'm Tana. Yeah.
They're looking at me and she's pointing. She's going, Tana. She's going, come on. Come on over here. And imagine the person that was like, can I get an ice minute? Imagine the person already ordering, getting cut off, makes me come up there, take a selfie with her. I'm like, it's so nice to meet you. Thank you. So this whole line of people is just laser beams at me. And not one person was under the age of like 45. I'm wearing these.
who the fuck is she? I'm literally, absolutely not one person in that line was even like, not even just like, was aware of me, let alone a supporter. I'm wearing these little ass shorts and a tiny crop top. You can see my nipple ring through it. And these geriatric people are just staring at me furious. And I'm like, it's so nice to meet you. Like, this is so funny. Maybe just like, I think she wants a butter croissant. Like, get back to work. And then,
And then she's like, no, no, bitch. Can you take the selfie? Like, I know you'll take it better. Like blah, blah, blah. And then, and then I, I take her phone, she looks at me, she goes, bitch, you better. I go, don't support me. So then I'm arm out tripod mode, like getting the line in the back, like fucking duck face. I have a video of it, Amari. I can't wait to show you. It's awful. And I'm just trying to be nice. Like, I appreciate that she supports me. You know what I mean? But like, fuck. But like time and place. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Like she could have seen where my gate was.
And you did it at the coffee bean. And you did it at the coffee bean. And so then time goes on and we go over to our gate. Like we're all just sitting in this little area and just chilling before our flight. Lila's hitting on this man. I forgot about this until right now.
no no she walks past this man and she's like do you have a girlfriend and he's like he's like yes and she like comes back over and you know Lila she's like but I need him like whole nine and then she goes back over to the man and she goes what's your name and he looks her dead in the face and he goes I don't have one he goes I don't have one
I'd kill myself. I'm not even kidding. I would literally act. But she's so bold for you. He has a girlfriend. What do you mean? What's your name? Like, just,
So bad. Let the man go to his gate. And so now we're all sitting at the gate and I'm trying to film this brand deal and I'm failing at it. And you know that feeling when you're trying so hard to be like, what's up guys? I'm like so nice and say it. And you're just like, you can't get it right. And I'm filming it. And I'm finally starting to film this video. Right. And I look in the corner of my eye.
And here comes little Miss Coffee Bean. You can keep this in mind as well. She is the only person working at the kiosk. Who is behind the counter? Walking over to my gate as if she's leaving the
The woman is on the clock. Like to come over to the gate. I can see in my peripheral like the line of people wanting to order their coffee. Watching her leave the coffee bean and come over to my gate. She comes up to me, interrupts me filming. She's like, sorry, girl, do you hate me? I'm like, no, but I think I'm about to. No, I'm kidding. And she's like, can you film a video for Maria? Yeah.
I'm trying to film a video to keep my lights on, but sure. What's up, Maria? I love you so much. Soleil girl, queen pussy, but they wish you were here. I see the people at the coffee bean behind me trying to get a fucking Americano. Like awful. She's standing there. She's talking to me at one point and she's like, the only other person I've met at LAX is Paris Hilton, but she was way classier. I was like,
Like the weirdest interaction. She had tattoos of naked bodies all over her arm. And she was like pitching to me that she got them done for $45. I was like, it looks like it. No, she's going to watch this. They look amazing. Coffee beans.
So then she moseys back on over to the coffee bean, to the angry line of customers. I'm like, okay. And bless her heart, like sweet girl. Like I'm making jokes, but like I appreciate it. You fuck with me and like you're trying to be funny with the Paris Hilton shit. Like I love you. Like you know what I mean? It's just funny to watch this girl like doing all these people like this to like get the Tana Mongeau VIP special, you know? So then another 20 minutes. You noticed?
Yeah, like if I notice you're doing poorly at your job, then you know something's very wrong. So then another 30 minutes go by. We are getting up. I'm still trying to film this brand deal. And we're getting up to go back over to our gate. And I see in the corner of my eye,
leave the line again she leaves the line of people at coffee bean again a third time a third time and comes back over to me this time with her sister on facetime please say hi to my sister i turned her and i go girl aren't you gonna get fired and she and she looks at me and she goes i don't give a fuck i want to work for southwest anyway swear to god
shoot for the stars and as we're finally walking to the gate we see her on her way back and we just see her manager come out of the woodworks and waddle over to her and hit her with a Karen 3000 like that bitch got fired she got absolutely fired and honestly no offense Mrs. Coffee Bean but I think you deserved it fired for Tana Mongeau
I can't even believe It's so bad I can't wait to show you The videos of it It's like It's mind blowing It's actually It's actually mind blowing Plus her heart though Honestly I love the confidence And I'm not gonna lie Like me back in the day At one of my like Retail jobs or whatever I would have done The same thing Like I fuck with Like of course You fuck with me Because I fuck with that energy You know what I mean Like that's so funny You will never forget
I will never forget her. I hope she works for Southwest one day. Honestly, I hope she's our flight attendant. I hope she's our pilot. Imagine she just leaves the cockpit. She's like, Dan, I hope really quick. Say hi to Maria. Oh, wait till we tell you about our stewardess. Yeah. And then just wait. So keep in mind, like that's how we kicked off going to Phoenix. Haven't even gotten on the plane yet. We get on the plane. We finally sit down. We're stoked. We're on our way. Life is good. God is good.
You want to take this one over or you want me to? Paige and Tana start talking to each other about how like the lady over the intercom is being a little sexual. Okay. She's giving us our like safety instructions like in case of an emergency. But she's saying it like she's having phone sex. Like literally like buckle those seatbelts. We were like.
And every other sentence is a joke. Like, first of all, it completely sounds like me drunk on the phone calling a boy like, can you come over tonight? She was literally practicing stand-up. Like, I hate to be like she was definitely drunk about someone, but as a fellow bitch who is usually drunk doing something I shouldn't be drunk, I would bet...
I would bet a limb that the flight attendant was drunk on the intercom. She's on the intercom being like, and don't you dare press that flight attendant call button because it's just going to eject you and your luggage. I have it on camera. I swear to God. This is a real sentence. This woman says whatever. She's the entire flight. She keeps coming on the intercom. Like, I don't even remember the other just hooty jokes. And honestly, we were like we were laughing, but we were like, don't you have like beverage service today?
And like, you know how, you know how like Trisha Paytas hits like, yeah. Like it was like that. Like, you know what I mean? Like make sure to buckle those seatbelts. Dead ass. The entire fucking flight. Pretty sure Tana got horny. Yeah, honestly. No, I think, two more shots and I would have fucked her. But,
I decided that I was going to run back 75 hard or 50 hard, basically just being sober again. I basically decided like the day before Phoenix, I was going to run back being sober again until my birthday, at least just because these past three weeks have been such an insane bender with Coachella and tripping with tart and
Going to Vegas and just doing all these Crazy things like and I just need to lock In and like be sober this weekend I decided I was like I'm just gonna have one last Hurrah and be drunk for the show like I Was nervous and like just anxious and Stressed and like which is you were Literally telling me like that's awful That's a coping mechanism well yeah I was Like if it's only because like you are in A bad mood and that's why you need to Drink that's probably unhealthy but Absolutely and I know that and that's I'm Sober again now for anyone wondering but Um
Yeah, we land and I just start going crazy. Yeah, we do. We all were drinking so much. We went out to dinner. At dinner, you were maybe one of the drunkest I've ever seen you at any dinners absolutely ever in Phoenix. I got pretty drunk. She was saying things I've never heard her say. Okay, that's okay. She...
Oh, it was at one point. I think I fell out of my chair. It's my hometown. I was just getting a little silly. Comfy cozy. We met these lovely girls that you were on your Sheehan trip with that. Yeah, Lila and I like latched on to these two girls. We met at Stagecoach and like now they're just perfect.
our only friends honest to god so they live in arizona so we all went out to dinner with them yeah and so their vibe was kind of like what do you guys need tonight we have the plug like where do you want to go i'll black you out for free like oh and that dinner just shot champagne bottles to the table at dinner like just being so insane so awful we get to the club in phoenix and we get to the club i cannot stress this enough within 10 minutes of being there lila was asleep
On the club table, pussy out. Pussy out. Pussy out. Someone, a fan told us that Cody Coe and Kelsey Crepple were in town. You and me are so drunk, we like believe them. They're in Australia. We went on a wild goose chase. Imagine us circling that bar a hundred times. We're circling the club looking for Cody Coe and Kelsey Crepple who wouldn't have even wanted to see us in that state. Let me tell you that much. Or just at all. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm circling the bar for them They don't exist Someone tells me like Nelk boys are there I'm like are you the Nelk boys They're not the fucking Nelk Honestly though You could have told me Any group of guys Were the Nelk boys And I would have been like Oh my god I love you guys You're like
I love happy dead ass. We get to like the second club and Brooke is trying, you're trying to cut me off at this point. You're like, Tana. I told her at least a dozen times. I kept going, Tana, we have a show tomorrow. Like you, listen, I know we're having fun and I love that we're having fun, but like, you're going to take it too far and you're going to be hung over tomorrow. And I'm not kidding. Tana looks me dead in the face and she goes, I don't get hung over. I kept saying it too. I go,
do you think you're talking to right now? And she goes, Brooke, no, seriously. Like I don't get hung over. I'm like, I've seen you literally sleep for 72 hours straight with an IV in your arm. And I know in that moment, I believed that like, that's how gone I was. I was like, no, I don't get hung over. Yes, you do. I get wildly hung over. Oh, and you sure did. Absolutely. Absolutely. At one point they switched out my shots with water and she had not a clue.
She was throwing them back. She's like, delicious. Yeah, because it's water. I was publicly like eating a bottle girl's ass. Yeah. And I went to high school with her. Shout out, Louie. Fuck, there's photos of it. There's photos. I can put it in photo dump. Honestly, my cell phone only runs two minutes. So then we wake up the next day and it's show day. And I'm so excited. The show was amazing. Like that was...
So fun. Such a fucking, that was like such an amazing, amazing day. And we met everyone and we met the craziest people. We did the whole show. We did the podcast live. It's so cool to do it live because, especially at comedy clubs, because it's like, obviously there were people recording, but like it's supposed to be no phones. I think, I didn't know that going into it. And now I feel like it'll make everything so much more fun because like-
We were saying the most fucking insane stories Rogue ass shit on stage And I don't think we prepared really that well for it Like just we didn't really 100% go into it Knowing what we were going to talk about But I enjoyed it I think we had great stories Yeah I think so too But like now knowing Like hopefully we'll do more shows at comedy clubs Because like you said you can't record So it's like Like the entire one hour set was like Everything we cut out of an actual episode of Cancelled Yeah Like and it was just so funny for that reason And it's like I said it to the audience But I'm like I feel like I'm in Hannah Montana movie like
Will you guys keep my secret Like I tell a story And like you guys Are the only ones who know it And then that's it So that's an incentive To come to the live shows Is you'll probably hear A lot of things That we will never talk about On the recorded podcast Ever
Ever. Absolutely ever. So then we do the meet and greet and the venue was running super late. So our meet and greet started at 1 a.m. I think maybe later because we finished at 2.45. I've never done anything like that in my life. Like I've never had a meet and greet past like 7 p.m. ever one time. I've never had a meet and greet. One...
So it's like after 1 a.m. you're in hootie hours like everyone is everyone's delusional. The bitches who are drunk are drunk as fuck. Like, you know what I mean? Like it just so made for the most insane meet and greet. And we're almost done. We have a girl come up to us. OK, she flew from out of town. She says, hi, we take our photo. And then she looks at us and she goes, we all fuck the same guy.
And it can only be one guy because Tana and I only have one overlap. Okay? Pool boy. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. We do. We only have one. And so it had to be pool boy. And we're like, no fucking way. And there's a phrase that you can say. I'm not going to say the phrase. But there's something you can say that you'd only know if you fucked pool boy. And we look at her and it's like we ask her in question form and she was like, yes.
Like it was like Yeah Tana made a reference That only she would understand Brooke made it But you know Oh I thought you were talking You said horse cock You said his name So we can at least tell the people He has a horse cock honestly Oh my god He does Yeah Oh my god Oh my god
Anyway, upon further investigation, we realized like she was absolutely being honest. Yeah, we sent the photo to Pool Boy and he didn't even try to deny it. At all. He was like, no way. He literally just goes, wow, like it just keeps getting weirder. I texted him last night. I texted him last night. Just no context. Just ha ha ha ha. Because I knew he would know what I was talking about. And he literally goes, I hate you. I sent him a voice memo. He goes, not listening.
like this we love you cool boy listen it's become such a fucking bit but like how funny is it that on our first podcast back we create a bit about how we fuck the same guy we call him pool boy and on our first live show we meet someone at the meet and greet who's also had sex with him I know he brought it up at stagecoach he was like he was saying like yeah she talked about me on the first episode of her podcast I'm like
Like he's been referenced now in every episode that we have ever shot so far. So what'd you do at stagecoach about it? Okay. He, he was on theme. It's very on theme. He's like a country. It was like, it was a country festival. So I had to get country dick. Yeah.
He does. They do. Oh, we love you. It's all love. Sincerely. It really is. It's just funny. He's the best. He's just fun. You know, one day he's going to go to a podcast and like air us out. We're talking about, we're talking about like his horse cock. He's going to be like, and she does this and she does this. Like, you know, it's not like if there's not what the worst part about it is that I know, not that he's like comparing the two of us, but I'm like, I don't like knowing that like Tana's hooked up with the same guy I have. Cause I know Tana.
The performances don't compare And that's a compliment Well thanks But you know what I mean Like I know my starfish Is not comparing to your Cirque du Soleil
Dude, I was talking about this literally the other day. It's like, I have trouble walking from this couch to that fridge. But the second the lights turn off, that bitch is doing back handspring. That's what I'm saying. I could be, literally, I could be exhausted beyond belief. But the second I'm about to start having sex, I'm like, God, where can I get my foot? You know what I mean? Like,
And you can't walk to the fridge. Like, it's so insane. That's what you're saving your energy for. And I love that about you. But that's just so insane. Like, I'll be like nauseous all day and then at night I'm like, I'm gonna vomit. Make it sense. She's always so tired. She's just having so much sex.
Yeah maybe that is Like I know Maybe it's not an iron deficiency I All the bruises Are also from sex Like hold on I just don't have Iron deficiency Solved Dude Lately I Like I have I am a confirmed Certified And I don't ever feel like I've been this Okay I have a lot of sex And I'm Some might call me a slut Like Who Who would dare No But I'm saying like
lately i have been like a certified hand to the bible sex addict like it's all i think about it's all i want to do with my time if literally in arizona on sunday i'd gone well how long were we there two days without sex and i swear to god i was walking around i was like my pussy's throbbing like i need dick no literally literally the other day they left the house and all i did for
Hours was just Airplay porn And sex people Like for hours Maybe it's like You know how Sometimes like When you give up One vice You need to like Overcompensate with another Like maybe You weren't drinking So all of a sudden It was like Sex was your new Like thing And now you're having Like sex withdrawals
Not that wasn't new. I don't know what it is. I think that I've just been having superior sex to like all the sex I've had. So it's like open this. It's like reignited my love for it. Yeah, you have like a new flame going on. Yeah, but I need to fucking chill out. I have the exact opposite problem where I'm like, I feel celibate with the exception of my little stagecoach excursion. But like it's been it's been quiet. Not really. It has. I've only slept with one person since.
My breakup seven months ago. Two. Okay, one new person. Pool Boy was a... A recount. A repeat. Yeah.
That's good though. I think that's normal. That's good. I really haven't slept with that many people. Like I would say the amount of people I've slept with. Yeah, you're a good recycler. Yes. Earth friendly. Two, maybe three. Like of the same, like no new friends. Well, I think it's cool that you, if you're not repeating a guy, you'll just do like exactly the same guy like who's just slightly different. You know what I mean? Like Lil Xan to Chris Miles. That's so true. I love it. Like those might as well be the same person. I love a same dick different font. And with them, it's a really different font. Like just which...
Literally different fonts. It's like Comic Sans on his forehead. I could venture to say Lil Xan is a Comic Sans forehead tattoo. I really could. I would put money on it. So... Anywho, yeah, so she's a sex addict. Um...
Absolutely. But I'm, I don't know. I need to figure that out. I really don't. What happened next? I went tripping with Tarte. Yeah. How was that? I don't, I feel like we haven't really even talked about it that much. You could just so obviously tell that for like weekend one of the trip, they put together like, oh, like these are the girls who are going to sell the shape tapes and the blushes. Yeah. And then weekend two, these are the girls who are going to black out while wearing the shape tapes and the blushes. I almost disagree because it's like, I feel like I trust Tarte.
Those girls more Honest to god But I feel like It was probably Like a really smart Marketing like Experiment To see like Which Like team Got better numbers You know what I mean Yeah I bet it is Really interesting Over there At the headquarters To see what happened But it's like
I went into it down for it to go like one of two ways. Like I was like, if no one's trying to drink and party, like I'm not just going to be like, hey, I'm going to let me guys while everyone's like sober, you know, like I was like, I could relax by the beach and just like, yeah, you could have a relaxing. Exactly. And then I get there and I see the open bars on every corner and everyone there like at them and all bets were off. All bets were off. Like Brianna Chicken Fry and I were just like, she's,
She's everything that she is online. And I've known Brianna forever, you know? Not forever. I always do this. I've known Brianna for a while now. I've known her for years. God, I've known her for a while now. But this was our first time really interacting and drunk and together for lengths of time. She was flying off golf carts, flipping off pools. She is something else. She looks so fun. I have so much respect for someone who can...
Like get fucked up as fuck with me till like 5 a.m. And then they're up the next day at like 8 a.m. Like ready to just be on a vibe. Yeah, that's insane. I personally can't but I really admire those who can because I think that I would have never ever stopped like drinking or even like whatever if I could just wake up and like be a person like you don't get hung over. Yeah.
I can't believe I said that. But who else was on it? So it was like Brianna Chicken Fry. Who else was like really crazy or like really like on your vibe? Stassi and Victoria were a lot of fun. And that was kind of the first time that I'd hung with Stassi since the stormy wallpaper. But we did...
When that all happened, like, however long ago, like, probably, like, two years ago now, or a year and a half, I don't really know. We ended up talking about it, like, in person, and then it was just like, oh, whatever, like... Yeah. Because I've known her for such a long time and see her so often that it was like... And I've had so much fun with her that I was kind of like, you know what? I've made some comments about some people who would still fuck with me, and, like...
I'm just going to move on because I'm going to see you everywhere. So we've already been like, you know what I mean? But I don't think the internet knew that, you know? Yeah. So everyone was... I was on Reddit and people were like, Tana and Stassi together after the Stormy scandal? It was just unreal. But they...
They were down to like clown, which was fun. Yeah, they looked like they had a lot of fun. Bethann Bryce and her twin sister are exactly the way they are online, but even more lit because they get they get fucked up. And so they get they got pretty crazy, too, which was like fun. Ken Urich was one of my favorite people on the trip. She is one of my favorite influencers ever. And she hates me. She literally she literally hates me again. Ken, I'm so sorry. Yeah.
Like she's literally one of my favorites ever. And I don't know why I blocked her. I still, if I, I wish I could like pinpoint the moment or like pinpoint the video that made me block her. Well, there's two videos. Cause you blocked her first account and then her second account.
I know but I can't imagine myself doing that now Like I don't know I think maybe she just like Her personality was like too strong for me in the beginning I was like I was probably just a jealous cunt Or like I was like overwhelmed I feel like you just hate screaming Like if you see a video of someone just screaming And then you keep getting something like that on your phone I do and you know what I do also Really not like on social media sometimes Is like when people respond to negative comments Like and they like comment
come back at you like and I I get it now because now I want to fight back with people all the time but like I use that used to really bother me because I was like oh really I can't imagine that bothering you because now you're like because now I'm literally like you dumb fucking cunt you're wrong yeah I asked Ken Yerick to come on canceled and she was like but Brooke hates me Ken I love you no that's not true honestly I shot her a little DM when she was going through a breakup I'm like hope you're okay she blocked both of my accounts
Please forgive me I literally love her I love your little dogs I love your cats Actually she has one dog But yeah I mean I had a great time on the trip I had no expectations Because I kind of was just like I'm gonna go there and be myself I'll probably never be invited back No matter what On any Tarte trip Or brand trip in general So I very much just went there with that I think you will I think you're definitely like Transitioning into like More brand safe I feel like people are gonna start
Start inviting you. And you sell products. Keep manifesting. You know what I did today? What'd you do today? I bought $360 worth of Tarte product. With my own money. I have some downstairs. With my own money. I'm like, wait till Marianne hears about this. No, Marianne. No, Marianne is in the child she sponsors. No.
My foundation that I've been using literally probably for four years now is Tarte. I have never strayed. You can see it in every video that I've ever posted. My concealer is Tarte. My blush is Tarte. Everything's Tarte. That's how I got on the trip. I made a TikTok saying my fucking toilet is Tarte. I get I don't have the numbers, but I'm out here working hard. Okay? And I'm trying. And honestly, I don't have to go to Turks and Caicos. I just want a couple shape tapes in the mail. Okay.
You know, give me a discount code maybe. 100%. I'm not entitled. You know what? I'll pay for it. And I do. Yeah, I mean, I had a great time. I've never been to Turks. It was so fun. I was on a brand trip too. Oh my God, you were. I was. It was fun. No, it was so fun. I brought Lila and it was her birthday weekend.
So she was just like crazy and honest to God. I can't think of somebody better to bring to stagecoach than Lila because like 100% honestly, like I had never even thought about it before. But then like last minute, I was like, you know what? Lila should come. And she was so funny. Just like her in that environment. I was just going to say, I feel like Lila is the perfect person to bring on a trip with a bunch of people you don't know.
Because she can become everyone's best friend in like 30 seconds. Everybody loved her. I'm pretty sure I won't get invited back and she will. Like that's, she'll upshine her ass. Everyone on the staff, everybody in the house. Like she was just like everyone's favorite. Like, oh my God. You know, I was just thinking about other people like on trips. I forgot to mention that I finally met Alex Earl and her bestie Topher. Oh my gosh, Topher. So I love Alex. She's just like a sweetie, sweetheart. We only had like 24 hours together. So it was just not even that actually probably like forever.
fucking 12 like because she was leaving as I was like getting there or whatever so we just bonded and like vibed and whatever and we were I was like we're talking about coming to Miami and shit I really like her but she brings Topher and I knew nothing about Topher until we got there and this should give you a little bit of like an indication on who he is as a person he made and how the trip was
He made all 30 people on the Tart trip. I mean, the CEO, the founder, like every single fucking person on the trip sit in a giant circle and play a game that he created where, and he's flailing and like screaming, like,
how this game is going to go where every single person has to say their name and then everyone's like, like, hi, I'm Tana. Hi, Tana. Like make the crowd repeat. Like AA. Literally, which is exactly what I need after this. And then made everybody say their favorite animal and then make everyone in the group mock the noise of the favorite animal. Like just imagine like, you know what I mean? Like making the founder make a dolphin noise. Like just ridiculous. You'd have to pick something easy. And then at the end of it,
was having everyone go vodka or tequila and then was calling this thing the toffer twist where if someone if someone didn't want just vodka or tequila poured in their mouth and the toffer could come up to them and pour from both the vodka and tequila bottle into their mouth i think that would put me in the hospital blacked out the entire every single person on the trip
Like before the sunset of the first day. I love him already. Like it was just... I'm like Topher, be my friend. It was just... No, Lila, I told... Because I was trying to explain his personality to like Lila and I was like he's every single person in our friend group combined like but more feral. And so Lila messages him and you should have seen the shit they were saying back and forth to each other. Like I just want you to put this in my pussy and like... Like being...
Insane back and forth. She's met her match. I think she finally might have met her match. Like it was, it was crazy. I love that. Anyways, Lila stage coach. Do you have any stage coach? Anything else? I feel like nothing that crazy happened. We met these two girls who like, kind of like you were saying with Brianna Chicken Fry, like I'm not kidding. These girls would take like,
Well drugs They would be so unbelievably fucked up The night before they would stay out until 7am And then the next morning they'd be up at 9 Like momosa in hand like Who's ready for the morning
And it's like festival season. So that's usually like a Molly vibe or like a mushroom vibe. I took mushrooms the third day. You did? I did. I'm surprised that you would ever take mushrooms again. Because I've never had a good mushroom experience. Yeah, after New Year's Eve in Vegas. I know. And that's what's so crazy is that I just can be pressured into anything. I know.
but I know I've had a couple good experiences since then but I was literally I was putting my degree to work okay I was doing science at the festival what does okay god because I a friend I ran into some college friends and this girl gave me like just the tiniest piece of like mushroom chocolates and that's all I'll do like I'm afraid of like tripping so like I just took a little
I was tripping. So with tart. And then I immediately, it was like, I knew too. Like, I was like, Oh my God, I don't want to ruin everyone around me is like experience. I was like, cause, but I was panicking. Like, I was like, Oh my God, I'm going to die. There's so many people like I'm going to die. And I remembered that Vegas trip that I took that one time. And the only thing that helped me, the only thing that helped me that new year's was drinking. So it was like,
okay, I'll just go drink. But I had taken my meds that day. You're not supposed to drink on your meds. So I knew I was, I knew if I drank more, I was going to throw up. So I was, I, it was like antidepressants, mushrooms, Zofran, alcohol. It was like the perfect cocktail. And then finally I was chilling. Yeah.
don't recommend this. Calling Matt putting your degree to work is the funniest thing I've absolutely ever heard but that's sometimes how it goes like you gotta kind of figure out how to. Yeah and I don't encourage anybody to do that but I did. Yeah.
That should be canceled podcast tagline. Like that's, we're putting that in the new intro. I don't know. It was so fun. Honest to God. This was, I just talked about this when we were talking about Coachella a couple episodes ago, but I was like, I don't even think it's fun for me anymore because it's like, it doesn't feel like the same as college. And this trip felt exactly like college, like actually going to every single set and like frolicking around and just having fun. It was, it
The best thing ever I think we should all go to stagecoach now I was just gonna say I think that next year I wanna skip Coachella And go to stagecoach It's just so Cause it doesn't even matter Who's playing It's just such a vibe Everyone's nice to each other No one gives a fuck About like social media It's so fun Yeah no I Well I said that On the last podcast About how like Coachella felt like Influencer Olympics And whatever blah blah I saw someone post A TikTok about it Being like
Just post what I said But then someone commented And they were like Well why doesn't she just go Walk around and have fun then Like she doesn't have to care What everyone thinks And it's like Because
Because people are filming you Like every second Like you can't just like Let go and be wild You're like posing for selfies all day Like type of thing And I feel like stagecoach is Maybe just a crowd That's not as TikTok and care about whatever A lot of older people Like it's a lot of like Middle aged people And just like Random country people Like it's just so So so so fun And I'm really in my country music era So I think
Oh my God. I am too. I saw Chris Stapleton. I begged Tana to stay in Phoenix another night to see Chris Stapleton again the other night. Cause he was, I can't, I can't imagine someone being more talented in this entire world. I watched his national anthem the other day, 60 times. It's comparable to Whitney. And it's, everyone says it. Who was the person that like fucked up the national anthem? Crazy. Yeah.
Wait, speaking of, you guys have to hear this Lila cover. Oh, please. We have been hyper fixating on this song by Lewis Capaldi. It's the new Lewis Capaldi song. It's called Wish You The Best. It's so good. I sat next to Tana. You should send it to him. I sat next to Tana on a plane the other day or last night. Wait, two nights ago. And they played it at least 60 times on a loop. And I...
Oh, yeah. When I love a song, especially on a flight, I'm listening to the same song the entire flight. We have a six-hour flight and I'm picking one song. It's just how I am. So my song has been Wish You the Best by Louis. And I put Lila onto it. And now she loves it ten times more than I literally ever have. Keep in mind, she could hear it in her ears. So she was singing along. She didn't know what it sounded like from an outsider's perspective. She thought she was just singing along to the song. I love this song.
Disregard how blacked out I am. Tana also didn't know what she sounded like, so I was like stomach laughing. Oh my God. I'm so excited. The tongue. I'm not getting my stomach hurt. Maldi did not live for this.
Keep going. Keep going, Lila. Lila on the beat. Louis wants this. He wants you to cover it. Okay, hold on. This is Wish You the Best by Louis Capaldi. Covered by Lila Gibney. Not one English word. It's funny because I hear this song in my headphones and she kind of sounds okay. I take them out and I'm like...
Anyway, it doesn't get any better. I'm not getting my 70s. And also just imagine being like a family who just landed in LAX to like go to Disneyland and you walk by and see that. There's fans around. You're in LAX.
I haven't laughed harder at anything I don't think in life. So that's how we came. That was our airport experience coming back. So the entire trip really to Phoenix was just wild. No, you left out an important detail. We almost missed our flight home. Okay. And I, I don't know if you know this about me, but I don't like being late to things. So I was getting ready to literally kill Tana and Lila. Okay. Our flight gets delayed. And then at the gate, we have a performance. Okay.
We have a performance artist. Oh, I thought you were going to say so many other awful things we did. I'm really happy it's this one. We were racing through the airport trying to make our flight and this is what was going on at the gate. It's like we can't have a single normal airport experience. I had no idea until right now that it was a desk attendant. Yes! I'm doing my makeup. I'm doing my makeup. Oh, we requested three songs.
He sang. He did a full set. Brooke, Brooke, I was so busy doing my makeup and just listening and laughing that I never once turned around. I thought that it was like at least a microphone and a guitar and like someone the airport brought in. That was the man who was checking our boarding passes. And I'm like, no wonder our flight is delayed. It's Clinton Cain's new job. He's about to have to do that. I had no idea.
Speaking of people who've been brought up on the Zach Sang show, I have to talk about Bryce Hall. We absolutely have to talk about Bryce Hall for SF. Bryce. I have fought for him so hard. You put him on the mat. I have fought for him so hard. And I'm going through my timeline the other day. And I see this video. Amari, you are going to be floored. I'm actually very excited for this.
why is that up there? views are looking good! the nerve! yeah.
And now listen to the rephrase. Got it. Yeah.
So what was the reason for sucking your toes though? Like did that increase the clout? I don't know if he sucked my toes, but he did a lot of other things to a lot of other holes. Holes?
That's so true. Like it could have just been missionary for like three minutes. Here's the thing. Yeah. I mean, first of all, the comments on that video have done my job of all of the moral things I could say about how that makes. Like it is wrong to sleep with somebody just for. As someone who has also probably slept with someone. Just so I can say I did it. I would never come on a podcast and say that because I would.
be afraid of how bad that would make me look yeah like like you couldn't waterboard that out of me and he just freely said it in fact zach didn't even ask him to elaborate and he goes i should say it he goes i should say it tana and never once has bryce said this to me do you know what i mean like anytime bryce brings up well i sure hope not imagine somebody came to you and said i actually just fucked you for the clout i would i would jump off
I guess if I like was into him or liked him or like anything like that, you know what I mean? At that time or ever, like, you know what I mean? If I had a crush on him, then I probably would be like super heartbroken. But I feel like sometimes, you know, when people are kind of doing something because of it. And I was beneficial. I was on so many mushrooms and like fucked up out of my mind. She only fucked you because she was on drugs.
mad at Bella Thorne and like doing shit just being insane I was just being crazy Tana so it's not like there's a part of me that's like sad that he said that but imagine it was like like a boy I liked and talked to yeah I can't imagine like somebody that I'm into saying that and oh my god like that's the but just so much nerve and then Bryce texts me like four days ago like hey poker turn in at my house do you want to come like what's up Tana come over I just
We need the room. He really just be saying shit. And on the Zach Sang show. I just can't. I really, I can't believe he said that. I think that's so insane. I guess good for you for being so shameless, but also get him back.
I don't know how I don't know Also I've seen Bryce hook up with some lizards with no clout So I'm like I don't really get it No offense Bryce would fuck a lot of things Oh my god And I've seen it I want to talk about probably my favorite story of all time We meant to talk about this on stage And I fucking forgot My Can you please tell the story Yes I'll tell the story But it's I It is so So Okay Let me just go into it okay
So, so, oh my God. I do this thing and I have a serial problem with it. And I still do, but I've, this situation that I'm about to explain has made me a little more hyper aware. I, and this, this even goes back to what I was just saying about the mad thing. Like this is how little responding to people's stories means to me.
I probably respond to 250 Instagram stories a day. Like that is what I do in my free time. Like I watch them and I just reply like, Oh my God, slay. Oh my God. Where's this top from? Oh my God. Like, Oh my God, that looks so beautiful. Where are you? Like, yeah, it's fun. Cause it's like what ignites so many fun conversations with people. And I'm just very ADHD. Like if I watch someone's story and I have any remote thought on it, I'm going to reply. Do you know what I mean? I think we were having a party.
And you, me and Paige were in the airport and we were sending out party invites via DM. Like Paige, whenever we have like a big party, like a 300 person party, I'll have Paige take my Instagram and like copy and paste the same. Like, Hey, I'm having a party on this day. RSVP here to like 300 people. Right. Paige is sending them. And finally she turns my phone to my messages.
And when I say my messages, I mean my messages with Olivia O'Brien. Had cold.
Open responded to 30 of her stories in a row maybe more maybe more and she never replied one time not so much as liked one of the responses she saw all of them like I have no idea whatever and I I had the spiral of a lifetime and do you know what's funny is I then like after that day I was spiraling so then I went to other people that I do that to like there's a few more Olivia there's a few more
Olivia's there's a few more people that I've sat out cool 30 story replies to just like either saw them all and didn't reply or whatever it's made me afraid of her and it's funny because I've had so many interactions with Olivia like we like I've done so many crazy things together blacked out and been like alone navigating through a party like if I see her we like it's so up and like whatever do you think of like all those interaction interactions now like do you think she was thinking in the moment like this is this is my biggest fan right here
She's like, bro, that girl will not give it a rest. I'm not kidding you guys. It was probably a hundred messages. Like I wish we screen recorded just the scroll and scroll and scroll. No, you unsent like at least 50 that day. But then she'll like, she commented on my TikTok the other day. I was like, and now it's like when I see her comments, it's like my perception of her is so different. I'm like, okay.
Like it's like I'm a fan Like and it's like Oh my god thank you so much You are literally Olivia O'Brien's biggest fan I can't even believe When I saw Coachella I was like
It's been our favorite thing though to reference now because I'll be like, are you going to Olivia O'Brien him? Like I can't even send someone two messages in a row. So now I'm very like hyper, hyper aware of that with my serious story responding problem. Anyway, Olivia O'Brien. No, just anyway, nothing. Nothing ever again. Absolutely ever again. Holy shit. But I guess, yeah, that was actually good because it now shows to my previous story how little the story responding means to me.
Yeah, but you got to be careful because everything means something out here. Absolutely. You called Will Ferrell Buddy the Elf to his face. I did. And you know what's the worst part about that is I didn't even know about it until the next day. But I think we actually talked about that already on the last episode. No, you vlogged about it. And then we know you told me after that episode. Yeah. Apparently I saw Will Ferrell at Nobu Malibu a few weeks ago and I went up to his face and I said, Buddy the Elf. Do you know what he said? No. Was this before or after you threw up?
You know what's crazy is that this was the time I did tell this story how I went to that Nobu party with like Mr. Nobu. And I sat down after because it wasn't a dinner. So I sat down after that with Sienna who I went with to have dinner. And we sat down. I went to throw up and we never went back to our table. I don't even know if we ordered. I don't know what happened. You were just roaming around the restaurant. Yeah. And then on my way out I passed Buddy the Elf. And apparently to his face Sienna and I said
We love you, Buddy the Elf. And I'm like, I couldn't have referenced literally anything else. Like,
He's an icon, but hey, Will Ferrell. Hey, Will would have been good or like big fan, but buddy, like not even his best work. Like imagine is his thought process. And, you know, it's like, hey, buddy, you know, he was probably. Yeah. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fully. But that's I hate when that happens, when I find out stories that I didn't even know about. And I'm like, I could have I could have really been excited about Will Ferrell. I don't even remember it. That's why I'm sober again.
Sincerely I think I'm gonna try And do it with you It Don't take my word for it It is so necessary for me Like these past few weeks Have been so fun Like Coachella was so fun And Turks was so fun And Vegas in the mix He left me at the fucking Red Rock You left her at the Red Rock Whatever like all this shit's been so fun But it's just like
I do the craziest shit when I'm drunk. And like these past few weeks, I like, I've just been so wild again. Like there, there will never be a yin or a yang. And it's so, I just so badly wish I could be that person that could just like drink a little, like not, you can give me one glass of wine and like, I'm texting him. I don't know who he is, but I'm texting him. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm fucking, maybe it's with age. Have you always been like that? Yeah. Oh,
I know. I know. And like, like I ate a bottle girl's ass this weekend in public. Like, I just, I can't not. There's no moderation at all. And which is fine. A lot of people were saying they think you, I read the comments. They think you have BPD. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I've been so diagnosed so many times. I really don't think you do because BPD is like strong emotions. And like, I know I could, because I have it.
I'm like, that's how I know you don't. We're almost so different that it's like, you know, I don't, you know, you don't have anything I've got. I don't have anything you've got. Except maybe alcoholism, you know? Yeah. So,
I had a hangover finally after because I haven't had like one day off. Like genuinely, it was like came back from Vegas, two days Coachella, came back from Coachella, like two days. I don't even know where the fuck we went after that. Like came back Turks, came back from Turks, two days Phoenix. Like I literally and in those days, I'm like trying to do my job like at home, like take meetings and photo shoots and fucking cannabis and fucking whatever the fuck.
oh so I literally haven't had one day off and I knew that when we got back from Phoenix finally the feeling I was gonna feel it was almost like I haven't had a chance to stop and let my body like like feel the wrong doing I've been doing to it for the last three weeks I woke up on Sunday and I've I cannot express this enough in my 24 years of life I have never felt this way in my entire life oh no I made awful decisions I won't even talk about
I can't even get to those decisions yet. Maybe one day. And I wake up with the anxiety of a lifetime from the decision I made. Heartburn on 1,000. Heart palpitating out of my chest.
Like my veins are just burst and blew down my arms. I've never, ever, ever in my entire life, by the way, and I can say this, scouts fucking honor. I've never once like thrown up and sprayed. Like, oh, you were fire hosing? I amari threw up. I fire hosed. No, but hold on. Check this one out. I didn't even make the toilet. Like I got up, threw up in my mouth and like, like probably eight feet from my toilet. Yeah.
Everywhere, everywhere. Bright red, it was vodka sauce pasta. Like chunks, I had to clean it myself. Blah, blah, blah. Whole nine, I'm taking medicine, I'm drinking water, nothing's fixing it. I try and I stand by this decision. This is how I know. This is how I know this is the worst hangover I've ever had because I felt bad and felt this way but I could look back in a few days and be like, oh, maybe that was a little dramatic. I tried to call 911 on myself.
Like what's your emergency? I don't know. Like take me somewhere. Help me. And I can look back now and I stand by that. Yeah. Like you needed it. I needed 911. Maybe you could have. They probably would have pumped your stomach or something and would make you feel better. I got a full IV with every medicine in the world and still didn't feel better. That's how I know too because anytime I get an IV I feel perfectly fine. God that is the worst feeling too when you literally cannot escape from it.
And it wasn't even just like the nausea and the headache. It was like the rundown. Like my bones hurt so bad. Like I hate everything in myself. Like I literally just, I would just kept crying. Like I was just like, this is, it's the worst feeling I've ever felt in my entire life. And even today I just have no,
No serotonin I was like I have to go sober again Like this Yeah Well honestly Maybe you needed Something like that I love you when you're sober I'm really excited For you to be sober again I am so happy And that was probably Like literally The Lord telling you Like hey Like absolutely Yeah because if I have fun And I wake up Like kind of hungover I don't get hungover Hungover Yeah I'm like The hangover Yeah like Then Yeah
That's my karma for just saying that stupid ass shit. If I don't have a moment like that, you know, like I needed that 100%. And touring's very scary because you're alone for the most part. Like you're isolated from everyone you know and you're in new cities every night. Like,
And everyone's so excited. Like if your friends are in that city, it's like they want to go out for drinks. If you're meeting like fans in the city, they want to get you fucked up because you're there. They want to show you a good time. Like it's so easy to fall into like a loop on a tour and just be fucked up for three months. Yeah. Like so fucking easy. And it's like,
After doing Phoenix like that I was literally thinking to myself that Sunday Laying in bed It's not sustainable Like imagining like what if I had a show today In like Utah Like right after the Phoenix one Like and I felt like this like Yeah That can't happen you know So it's like You're right and I noticed that Really not just I mean honestly always The only times you and I fight is when we're drinking a lot So I almost feel like if we're gonna go on tour together I feel like we just fight
But it always has to do with like, like you're never, did we fight at all your whole 75 hard? Yes. No, we didn't. Yes, we did. We had the worst fight of our entire friendship. Forget what I said. I get what you're saying though. Just like even just drunk and being hung over the next day and like waking up, like you're just not, you're not, your mood's never going to be like on fucking 10. Yeah. And I think it's like,
You want to be sharp and smart on stage as well. And on time. I notice... Yeah. I notice, like, the difference in, like, even just these past three weeks. I'm so slow and stupid today. It's, like, sad almost. Like, versus, like, how...
Sharp you are when Yeah like And I just can't do it And I just can't make Okay well I'm excited for you Do you think you'll go longer than 50 days Or you want to drink on your birthday? I want to make that decision on my birthday Because I've never had a birthday sober I think it could be fun Since I was like 14 or 15 Probably Even then No the last birthday I probably had sober Was probably like my 13th birthday That's sad That's kind of crazy We could have like just a relaxed Like an actual relaxing like beach vacation For your birthday And like relax
really like actually relax and that's what sucks is it's like for some people a relaxing beach vacation could mean like a frozen pina colada but like give me one and i'm going to have 10 like it's just so insane that i like physically cannot and it sucks because it's like literally a chemical like i i need to know more i want to i need to like read a whole book on it like why yeah i think it is alcoholism yeah but like what what chemical imbalance is that i don't know to like do you know what i mean i
I just need to like. Yeah, you should. I mean, I guess look into it. I need to know why. What's that going to change? I'm like, can you fix it for the love of fucking God? I don't think so. I don't think there's anyone who just wakes up one day and all of a sudden can control their alcohol if they never were able to. No offense. No offense taken. It just makes me sad. It really does. Like, I wish I could just think so. There could be way, way, way worse things. I just actually can't think of them to not be able to have.
Gluten Could be worse It could be gluten I'm also gluten intolerant No you made that up I think that's where The pooping problem comes from No she'll say she's Gluten intolerant What's funny about Tana She'll be like I'm gluten intolerant And she'll have Fucking like burritos Chips No but it's the way I feel And it's the little pebbles I shit after Yeah but it's not Because you're gluten intolerant It's because what you're eating Is radioactive Yeah
It's like it's so that's such a funny way to like like do you I would place a financial bet with you that I'm gluten intolerant. I want to go do an allergy test with you. OK, let's do it. Yeah, I'm serious. I know I am. You're not. We're going to find out. And I'm most people. What else? You have another thing that you just like pretend. Oh, to be afraid of roller coasters. I don't believe it. Hate them. I was actually talking about this last night with someone else who also hates roller coasters. And it was just it's such a no such thing as hating fun.
I know in my life, I know Diablo hates them. Hunter hates them. Maud's son hates them. Lime disease. Okay, we've all been there, honestly. I did that too. Wait, I actually think that was me.
No I did it at Weed Lake And then you did it after me And that's why I never really hated on you For being convinced you had Lyme disease Because like I also at one point I still think I have Lyme disease I think that test was faulty I did I'm gonna be honest The only test I did was an at home test And I had to send it back in the mail So the results probably aren't that accurate I feel like we were amazing So I'm sober And I'm stoked about it It's been a crazy three weeks Slay Slay
Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Canceled Podcast. We are so excited to eventually do a live show in a city near you and meet and hug more of you. And yeah, I'm going to go continue to recover and try to not make bad decisions. Woohoo! We love you. Bye, guys.
