33: Hannah Berner on Ozempic, Dating Comedians, and Facetune Ep. 33
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the things that have happened on this couch like on these couches before they were like a podcast couch actually does scare the shit out of me that's why i know they're so filthy that's why i know i can put my shoes on them 100 it's so true that's the cleanest thing she like gets comments all the time about her shoes on the couch it's like so disrespectful i'm like dude i've literally seen her like eat cereal out of the crevices so

I'm like Asha Backwood just on to it. They're indestructible though. Like I know that they're like a little tattered and torn. Yeah, that's what a leather couch is for. That's what it's supposed to do. Guys, today we have the lovely Hannah Burner here. Eating muffin out of my nail right now. I've been talking about like how I'm not so against that. Like a little like ranch under the nail for later. Really?

later. Exactly. Also these long nails they don't talk about like it'll smell like burrito for four days. 100%. Well first of all. Look at that. What's going on there? I want your genuine opinion on those nails right now. This is a thing. This is not good. How are we going to fight the patriarchy when you literally can't even like use your thumbs? I can't wipe my ass. Like it's actually so. You can't send a text. At all. It's like the side of my knuckle. I'm like you are so. It's actually. But it looks fucking sick. I need them off though. It's crazy. Are you ever like

Even just like during sex, like these ones are like a little like so big that it actually like prohibits like my sexual abilities. You're like endangering them a bit? Like a little, both of us, I think, honestly. But it like changes their personality. Like you're that bitch. Yeah, like I can always cuss someone out with this, which I think is good. But I need these off. These were for Coachella and now they're just a little scary. I can't believe you went to Coachella too? I did not go to Coachella this year. I sat this one out. Thank God. I've never been. Don't ever go. You-

You don't know. I am sincerely. I think my new thing is boycotting Coachella. I also some girl who doesn't like me. I saw a video of her on TikTok, like saying like, like Tana didn't have that much fun at Coachella. And you know, when someone's saying, how does she know? You're like when someone's saying some shit, that's kind of true. I'm like, bitch. But like, why do you know? No,

No, sometimes the reads are so good. I'm like, why does this troll get me more than my mom? Tana looks like she didn't have a lot of fun. Like, I didn't. But also, if you did actually have fun, like, that's... What else is going on in your life, you know? Yeah.

Thank you so much. Get you the delusional friend who just helps you normalize. I've been saying that's all I want. I want to live in cotton candy land. Like, just tell me completely not the truth. I think some people have fun. I'm just, I feel 80, dude. I always have had fun. I thought it was the most, like, amazing thing in the world. But this year I was like, I just can't go. And then I saw everyone's stories and I was like, I was so ahead of the curve. Wasn't that different this year than other years? It's, okay, it's always been like an influencer, orgy, disgusting clout fest. But there was something about this year that was like,

so much more than others. Like, intolerable to me. I don't know why. And maybe I'm just getting older and I'm growing away from it. Those darn TikTokers. Those darn TikTokers, dude. Those darn TikTokers. I'm like, I need them. But it's so funny coming from you guys who I feel like have mastered the LA scene. Like, I feel like that's all I think of when I, like, I'm reaching town. So, like, why...

No, I have... When I think something's funny, I'll say it for like three months and like to the point that it's not funny anymore. It was never funny even when I said it. When I'm gossiping with my friends, I'll be like, and then you know like, and then a bleach and tone and then I'll put it mid-sentence and then not acknowledge it and my friend will be like, what the fuck are you saying? Should we just start doing that? Like I'm stuck in the like formative years of my career. Like I'm like 30 and I'm still saying bleach and tone. Do you remember what I DM'd you? What did you say to me? I said she needs to come up with a house music banger. A bleach and tone remix. I would pop my pussy super...

So hard. You're on to something there. Have Diablo do it. He literally could. I wouldn't even have to do it. Have Diablo do it. That was the most LA shit I've ever heard. Someone named Diablo lives in my back house. He literally lives downstairs. Woo!

Or what he is doing Is he a sex slave Named Diablo No he First of all yes Also he's like Seven times Grammy nominated Or something crazy Platinum Oh oh oh Seven times platinum He's like just downstairs Well there's like There's like an apartment Attached to my house So like I rented out to him But it's funny You have to like hike to it Like through the hills Music industry Like he's always having like

house rager like bangers out and shit I'm like wait that's amazing so you just roll out and be in like a huge like molly fest honestly if I wanted to he's not gonna like that I'm calling his downstairs a molly fest but it's just a joke wait but I would like because you've been in music well you know you know what I mean some would say you are the music industry oh thank you literally she's she's lost her marbles

A little. No, but I have respect. Yeah, she's playing Coachella next year. Yeah. Headlining. Headlining. No, but you have to have respect for someone who's like, I'm going to put out music when I'm not trained in music. No, when I'm not good. I was going to say when I'm not good at it. You're not classically trained, are you? I think my entire, yeah, no, I'm super classically trained. Have you?

That's a good song. I think my entire career is just swinging and like missing 80% of the time. And then there's the occasional hit, you know? Well, if it works, it works. It was a miss. I'm like, look where you live. It's working. Dude, I'm all about failing. Me too. I love failing. I love failing fast. I love breakups. I love getting fired. I love getting canceled. Like, let's fucking go. I literally, I couldn't agree more. I don't know if it's like, did you grow up in like a toxic environment?

environment well i grew up in brooklyn new york was like a pretty intense like i was an athlete and everything was about like it it when you win people love you more and it was just like high pressure and i just like wanted to i was the the oldest child and i wanted to be perfect for everyone people pleaser and then i realized like you'll fucking be numb with like anxiety if you live like i need to be perfect for everything and women too they have so much pressure to be like it's

do they have it all is everything aligned up perfectly these men are out here like slaying and flaying and whatever absolutely being wild that's why i want to do whatever i can you're married yeah i know it's really like off-brand for me it's i literally said that downstairs ago she's married but like i feel like no one knows about it no one knows we don't talk about it it's so we need to talk about it i want to be they'll be married like no i'm not that's gonna be me i'm gonna be married and i'm gonna be like well yeah i'm like

I'm like technically married, but like... That's exactly how you will be. That's how you are. Technically married. Like, you know... Normalize like getting married, but then like forgetting. Yeah, so talk to me about that. Can I ask questions? Yes, babe. Because you're just so like...

I feel like you're a fellow like man hater kind of like us. You know what I mean? That's really where I started to like bond with you so much online. She got married. Like she's like, I was like, this girl hates men. I need her in my life. Merch. This is like men are trash. That's like our whole thing. And being able to wear it home to your husband is our, an,

art form. Yes, we are all about decentering men from our lives. But it's fucked up because like I love men. I fuck with men so hard. But like I only fuck with

Like guys who like let you shine, you know, and I don't have any tolerance for dudes who are like not supporting women being cool. And I love collaborating with women. I'm in a male dominated space of stand up comedy. Oh, my God. I can't. Yeah. We want to ask you about that, too. I want to know. I want to know what you think from the inside. You need like seven hours of some of these people.

But I just like, I feel like I was, people were put on this planet for a reason. And like for whatever reason, it takes a lot for me to get embarrassed because I'm like always doing stupid shit. Me too. Like we're kind of connected in that way. It's actually really bad. And it's a superpower if you think about it. Like so I'm like, I will say things and do things that maybe other people are afraid to if it makes other people less afraid in the future. Absolutely. Like I'll do stand-up comedy. I'll post stupid shit. That was like poetic. Yeah.

Like I'm out here just like farting in public. Like there's a purpose. There's a greater purpose. Like not like no, Tana. Like that was beautiful. No, like you're slutty Brene Brown. I don't know who that is and I don't want to know. You're Jay Shetty if you got bleached hair.

and was really good at blowjobs. Oh my God. That's literally incredible. It's beautiful. Being a woman in the stand-up comedy space is crazy. Yeah. It is. I feel like there's nobody really hardly at all now. Well, I do have to say, people don't talk about this enough, that the reason there's not more women in stand-up is because when you're starting off, it is not like a safe space. Like, let's say you're like, Hannah, I want to do an open mic tomorrow. You have to, let's say you're in New York City. You have to go to like Brooklyn at 8am

at a bar full of like just drunk dudes and go up and like... Try to make them laugh. Try to make them laugh, which like people can do, but like there's so many funny women who like six months in are like, I don't think this is worth it. Yeah. I don't think this is for me. And then if you can't afford Ubers, you're like on the train heading home. Like it's not cultivating an easy like starting off point, but TikTok and online and YouTube have changed that so women...

The meme culture is all gays and girls, let's be honest. Yes. So, like, it's enabled women to be able to get their sense of humor out and feel safe. Yeah. So that's kind of... I was able to do it online first, so then I was already, like, booking clubs, and I didn't have to, like, start up motels and stuff. TikTok definitely did, like, change that a lot, because it's, like... Even that, like you said, you'd be, like, at midnight at a bar, and it'd be, like, a bunch of guys. Like, in order to get yourself in front of, like, more of a female audience, TikTok definitely kind of, like...

For sure. Fast past that. Because you know how many girls are so talented? Because I was an athlete, I think I'm used to being in male spaces. But I'm trying to bulldoze. I'm trying to be like, bring the girls! Get the girls! Get the girls!

But it's also like, we say we hate men, but it's like, no, we just want men to not be shitty. Oh my God, more than anything. Because I love men. But once you're aware that you're not the problem and they're the problem, it's very empowering. I really, I've always been aware of that somehow. I don't know how, but I still, you were saying like,

not putting men at the center of your world. I'm still such a boy crazy like psycho individual. So I don't understand. Like I hate them but I couldn't live without them. But you even like went to girls for a sec. Yeah. Oh yeah. But you still are boy crazy. She dabbles. But I also go for girls that are like

the whole male race look like the most like kind, un- Male race is hilarious. I pick, like, because I need a girl who's crazier than me, which I think is like, imagine even trying to find that. That's honestly why I can't date girls that often because I need you to come in my life and fuck it up so memorably that like, I want, you know what I mean? Wait, is the sex with girls just like,

insane. It's yeah, it's insane, I guess. Sure. There's a lot of crying. It's that's how it feels. That's how it feels like you're picking petals and flowers like out of a field. Like even if it's not, it still feels like that. Like girls are just so girls are emotional. I feel like that's the real problem. I heard Scarlett talk about this. We have a friend who's like been straight literally all up until like

A year ago Now she's in like A happy relationship With a girl She had no idea either And she's like It's so much better But it's like Now there's twice The emotion Because like the guys Aren't like

sobbing at everything and like getting so upset. That's so true. Like if I fuck a girl one time I feel like it's like so intimate and like you know what I mean? I feel my friend who's a lesbian she I asked her I was like how do you know when it's done? Because you know like I feel like they're just fucking and fucking and fucking and multiple orgasms it's like all night. Yeah. And dude's like you you know when it's done. Yeah he's just over. Absolutely. Twitching. The twitching is the twitching is weirdly in it. You like take his hand and you're like he's just like

But, like, lesbians, like, they... I asked her. This is actually so fucked up, but I asked her, like, how do you know it's done? And she's like, you ask her. And I'm like, what's it like to have consensual sex? That's fucking insane. Like, to talk and communicate during sex? That's honestly too intimate for me. Like, I don't even mean to be like, me too. But, like...

Like, I like it. I agree. But, like, there is something about just fucking it out. I'm a man, I think. You do have, like, a very, like, male mindset, I feel like. Which is really scary, honestly. Which I feel like would be good for a relationship with a girl over a guy. Yeah, but then I just, I seriously pick the people who need, like, padded rooms. Because we're similar, because I do think, like, I have similar masculine energy, I found an older man. Okay. I'm with his daddy. Okay. He's tired. How? He's tired? He loves me just...

He's exhausted. I make his oatmeal in the morning. His banana jello. He actually, he couldn't eat if he wanted to. He's like a walker. No, he has arthritis. He's not. How much older than you is he? So he's 47. Okay. And he's a comedian. And we met during COVID. We got engaged in six months. It was fucking crazy. COVID relationships are crazy too. It's like dog years. It's accelerated. It's like...

DIY at home trauma bond. Like so easily. You have to like MacGyver the relationship. Absolutely. But when I said decenter men from your life, I really meant like I was a player in that. Like I was about strategy. I was game plan. I was,

was like girlies let's get together like when are we texting him and why how are we finding him how am i gonna trick him into being obsessed with me yeah love a good trick i'm in that phase right now yeah and i always felt like if i said the right thing at the right time if i was funny enough if i was cute enough and then you realize like that's not decentering around from your life yeah that's like you trying to force energy onto them oh no where we need to throw my phone out

off the balcony right now. I'm like, this is no good anymore. But for real, it's like, what happened is I just started, I was like single, 29, living with my parents during COVID with four cats and my mom was like, still wet when I'm wrong. And I was like, mom, I didn't, I didn't miss anyone. I didn't like,

no one got away wow but i remember being like after a couple bad relationships where you lose yourself you start to just be like can i just wake up in the morning and feel good about myself yeah and that's like the bare minimum wake up be happy have friends you fuck with and the next thing you know i started getting into comedy and this dude who was a comedian that i'd seen like five years ago who lived in ireland so i was like i guess i can't marry him but i saw him in the city and i was like he's fucking hot why is everyone a leprechaun in my head i've

I don't know. I'm thinking like PSI love you. No, he's like a tall leprechaun. Very handsome. And I said, and he DM'd me because he saw me behind like some Nikki Glaser's Instagram story. And like, again, like that was, I did not trick him. I did not think of that. The universe is like conspiring in your favor if you fucking let it. But if you're like, oh, instead of doing what I want to do, I'm going to like go into his bar because I think my ex might be there with his like

Like, no. That's the entire cancel podcast without you dead ass. Like we know she's so right. But you're so 100% because then your energy, your universe, I say it's like surfing. You guys are from LA. I'll do a surfing reference. But it's like when you, I've never fucking surfed before and I never will. But if you find the right wave,

You know how it's fucking smooth? Right now, you're just battling. But you see, if we were throwing up, like, you could tell. That's exactly what I'm saying. Like, those two perfect curls, my shit would have, like, something on your chest. But just still, like, you just know this hair would be, like, straight up. Like, this one would have, like, some buffalo sauce. You guys are really asking me. Honestly, this made me feel like I was going to die.

I think that you should take a little bit of her and you should take a little bit of her. We try. Sometimes we like do a little switcheroo. We do sometimes. Like, you know, I'll be like wholesome for like a week and then you'll be like barrel for a week. Yeah, she just did 75 hard. She was sober forever and I was having a drink for the both of us. It was a bad time. You drank for her? You're like,

no literally because i have this weird thing and by this weird thing i mean alcoholism um where when i can't fucking drink i have to black out the people around me and like feel it through them like a megan fox like blood sucker energy sucker like weird it was so horrible it was like we'd be at dinner and she'd like drink it now yeah like oh my god like that's that's almost just as bad as you being blacked out like i used to have that like if i would feel guilty about eating something i'd be like here have some

that's kind of like a man though now with me like i'm married and if a guy's super hot i'll just text my friend i'll be like please fuck him for me do you would you like my number yeah oh i love i have like a rolodex and i like to like connect people oh that's beautiful i love a cupid friend but you guys i forget like you guys are of course yeah you're young right kind of what are you 26 26 24

And you both have mature energy. But as someone who's in her 30s, 31. But aren't the 30s like...

Girl. Everything. Like everyone says they're like everything. Your 30s are everything. I say your 20s is trying to get people to like you and your 30s are you trying to like yourself. Oh my God. I love that. And isn't there a piece to that to wake up and be like what is this bitch want today. Absolutely. Because in your 20s you're still like you're supposed to be fucked up in your 20s. No one tells that to you. They're like it's your best time you're leaving your

Everyone left you No you're fucking I was a mess I'm confused Every time I said anything I was like that was weird That was super weird I think you get Go through enough trauma By the end of your 20s At your 30s You're like I can't live every day Scared of like Is this the end Yeah

Like anything that happened to me in my 20s I was like this is it Well yeah I just write off everything as my 20s You know when I bulldoze my whole life Like fuck everything up I'm like I'm just like 24 I'm so quirky and young But like I also feel 80 So it's like a weird balance you know I'm obsessed with that I'm like an old man deep down

Right? That I like genuinely am. I feel that. I'm a retired old man. But not in like a wise way and like my knees hurt and like I've made awful decisions my whole life. And like I'm just grumpy for no reason. Literally I'm so angry at the world. Like nothing like cool about being an 80 year old man. Just all the negative parts. Seriously. Someone date me. But you do give like rich man energy. Thank you so much. But also like rich man like you'll cheat on her. Yeah she does give that as well.

I'm just kidding. I'm in my 20s. I said, my little 20-year-old feet. Literally. Exactly. No, I'm trying to be better. I think the beginning of my 20s, I really got all my actual feral, awful behavior. Feral. Like, just can't even, like, think about it. Now I think at least I can kind of think about it. I credit that to people like Brooke, too. The good decision makers around me. That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. Whoa. But I haven't been making very good decisions, honestly.

Yeah, and honestly, like, it's the blind leading the blind. Yeah, that's true. But that is so your 20s. It is. It's the fucking blind leading the blind. And then also, like, sex in your 20s was so bad. Really? Like, you have so many experiences where you're just like... I think I heard you say this one time. It's like you literally just don't even, like... Because they don't know... You don't even know that it's bad until it's not anymore. You don't even know. I mean, I feel so bad for the girlies, but I think when you get a little older, in your late 20s, that's when you stop fucking with the squirrel brains. And you start getting those, like...

Older guys in their late 30s. I'm hoping so. But see, I'm scared of being with a man with not a squirrel brain as well because it's like, then how the fuck am I going to manipulate you? Yeah, that's what I have to deal with. Like, he calls me out on my shit. It's super humbling. I say sorry all the time. Oh my God. But that's because I'm done with my... I do not want to say sorry ever. But you'll get to a point where you realize, oh, a relationship is about like two people not...

competing against each other and she's like we're just we're making we have each other's backs yeah if me saying sorry like helps us like then we're more powerful he's the one oh my god this motherfucker we started i started seeing him he's a comic so obviously a narcissist he's a what oh like you think like he's gonna be a narcissist comedian men are like yeah nightmares a lot of the time to date oh we have to we have to talk we will go we will talk yes and i dated comics before and i was mrs like i'm never dating a comic before

Again. So then I was like trying to make him jealous like second week. Obviously. Yeah. I was like texting him shit and he just called me, called me. It was like, hey, if you want to like play games, that's totally fine. I just don't really want to be involved in something like that. I would have a stroke. I put my tail up my butt and I was like,

And in that moment, I was like, that was so vulnerable. And like, I was like, he's going to fuck the shit out of me. This man, like that man, like knows what he's doing. And immediately I was like, I'm so sorry. And, um, well, there is something to be said about being with someone you like have respect for even, you know, it's like if you can play the games, it's like you, there's that power dynamic there, you

know in my 20s i think i actually had intimacy issues like i never wanted to be hurt so i would fuck with like all these like hot dumb dudes all the time that like if they hurt me i'd be like he's dumb like he's stupid but i liked being like a man where like i'm like i'll be the ugly funny one and he'll be like and look at all these hot men that like me but it's all ego what you thought you were the ugly funny yeah i wanted to be like the ugly funny i wanted like hot hot like i wanted stupid hot

I'm like, oh, and just so dumb. Like, not a thought behind their eyes, but, like, beautiful. Like, spells the word isn't I-S-I-N-T, and I'm like... Oh, man. And you need it up every fucking time. Yeah, I'm like, he's so funny. That's... It's actually... That is actually crazy. Like, so boring. Literally, I've started to kind of accept that I think you can't have it all, though. We just... I literally wrote this down in my notes the other day for us to talk about. We were talking about, like, the...

Like how every like little quality adds up and it's like you have to subtract something to get the other. Like every guy I've ever been fun, like with it's funny and fun. It's funny and fun. He's not beat me. And if he comes, you know, no funny is so powerful. And I think that's why like we have power because we're funny and some men can't handle it. But you know what it is? Yeah. No guy's perfect. It's finding the demons of his that will fuck with your demons in the right way.

So like the shit that you're, that was some deep shit. Like complimentary. Complimentary demons. So like everyone's fucked up after, yeah, you're right. After a couple months, you're like, oh, that's his thing. And then being like, is that my thing? Yeah. That's a crazy, I've never thought about dating him. Because you can't, you shouldn't have like the same ones. Yeah. Because that's what you realize in your 20s. Like you're going to meet guys who like his demons other girls can handle, but not you because of your past trauma. Yeah.

The demon thing is crazy because I just like pretend they're not there to explode and I can't even sleep. But like once you I feel like, OK, I'm getting so fucking deep and I did not think this podcast was going to be the one. Now that's hurtful, first of all. No, but tell me why like my notes today were like, talk about icks. Like I had nothing. Like I see why.

No, I only fuck with deep talk. But it's like you're gonna, they're like a mirror for you where like I think you're gonna end up with someone who's put on this earth to teach you something. So sometimes it's actually uncomfortable. Like if I get bored, if a guy like lets me just like

be my naughty self and get away with all my bullshit like i'm bullshitting i'm bullshitting i'm whatever and he's not challenging me you need a little challenge that means he cares absolutely but it's uncomfy and if you don't want to deal with that then like you're not ready to like be with the person that you want to level up for oh my god well shit i'm like what i'm learning today is i'm really not ready for anything at all well i think i learned that a little while ago 17 and i've always said that

And I've always fucking said that. And it's not like I've become more mature. You just get tired where you're like, okay, like I can't do this whole rigmarole again. Yeah. Like how many times can you have the same fucking bullshit six months relationship? And that's the thing. So many times. Yeah. I weirdly just, I weirdly just have this like respawn button right now. Like where I just six months response. Hopefully that'll change soon. Okay. I'm trauma dumping. Someone else start talking now, please. No, no, no, no. You're too great. I also love that you're wearing Uggs. Okay. It's because my toenails are.

I wanted to be barefoot so bad, but I swear to God, if my bare feet were next to you right now, you'd leave this house. I'm the wrong person to tell. She might get upset, but I'm dirtier than you. I swear to God. Talk to me, though. Because I promise you. I took a bath in my own throw-up last night. Was it exfoliating? Probably. Honestly, it's kind of... That's so true. There's just something about... No, but you are cleaner. I don't even know. I don't know why I'm trying to fight for my life. I'm like, I am dirty. Right? Like...

This guy sent me a photo of my shirt that I left at his house like a while ago the other day. And I kid you not. I honestly should. There's like skid marks on it. Should I share the photo? Like it's I'm not kidding. I will put it in to cancel, but I'm just going to show you on this man's floor. I'm not kidding you. I just need that is not mine. That's your other bitch. That's not my shirt. That's your secret family. That's not me.

Look at... First of all, the Hilary Duff, let the rain fall down. Wait, first of all, I need that shirt. Second of all, it's brown. Yeah, like it's a white tank top. Like what did I do? Wait, I can't see it. It could be blood. There's not even like... That's your... I could never be like, that's your other girls. Like no one else is...

Anyone else is at least taking that home. No, but like, you know, we have a dog or something. Yeah, but like, unfortunately, I'm the dog, I think. Which is just so terrifying. But there is something hot about like that Adam Sandler confidence to be like, I'm fucking gross. Oh, you know exactly who you're talking about. I'm fucking gross and you're still gonna fuck me. Honestly, honestly, I think that I just had an out-of-body experience that I'm looking for the Adam Sandler, but I am the Adam Sandler.

Oh my God. Oh no. Because this guy was like, I find it so endearing, like how you can't eat a meal without getting it like all over your shirt. Like it's so sweet. Endearing is hilarious. Like he's like going on about how cute it is. And I'm like, like you're brainwashed as hell because that's not the case. You know what I mean? No, but you're going to find that man. Like I remember I was at a party once with all these models and I was dating this like British dude. And he said that he looked over at me and I was like hunched over, man spread, like,

Every time. Talking with my hands like something way too passionate about something stupid. And I think I like spilled the drink on the table and he was like, and he was like kind of into it. But in my head I was like, I'm gorgeous. Literally. That is my entire life. Like I've never, I've never once said. My friend will be like, you're missing a tooth and I'm like, you're jealous. Yeah.

bro dead i like i've never once sat like i have a vagina in my entire entire life my mom's gonna be like hey can you not sit like like with seven chins on the next podcast i'll be like i don't care because we cannot compete with the patriarchy if like we're worrying about it and they're not but then i'll face tune myself into a sim that's like pick a goddamn team bitch like how are you gonna face you and yourself to look like a hadid and then be at a party like rocking out with your cock out like figure it out have you ever had a makeup artist take a pic

and then send it to you like face-tuned gorgeously. Oh my God. Yes. Yeah, she has. And I know you're going to say like, oh my God. No. So I never, I used to, I never edit photos because I'm like, oh, I don't want to hate myself in real life. But yesterday, this,

this woman did my makeup. She sent the photo and I know that she was facing. I asked my friend, she straight up was like, you looked amazing. She did a good job. And it was to the point where I sent it to my own family. And my mom was like, you've never looked prettier. I'm like, yeah, cause it's not me. And then I was like, Paige, I'm going to post it and see what people do.

most likes i've gotten on a photo in like forever no so it's fucked up that society is responding it's dark to me looking like bella and i i like write it off is that i'm like i'm just it's my job it's my job like no well part of me is like okay if i get more engagement when they fucking make me look like an alien pussy that's what i'm that's literally what i'm saying but at the same time i would face tune like my passport photo so then it's like you know like yeah i did it i did it

did it you know what i mean like at the dmv like do you have is your airdrop on because i need i need a fucking movie to face up silk three oh my god but like for the girls in their 20s listening how you carry yourself is fucking everything do you know who you're talking to

Like, first of all, just even just... I always say, like, I feel like our entire fan base is, like, fatherless street rats. You know what I mean? Like, we're all... No offense. Fatherless street rats should be the name of the podcast. You're nice.

See, my dad, I had this obsession. He was my coach, so it was all about, to this day, I don't care what my husband thinks, I just want my dad to be proud of me. Wait, what was your sport you keep saying? I was a tennis player. Oh my gosh, that's a really, tennis is so hard. It wasn't when I started. Did you guys wear the little outfit? It was for the nerds when I was there. Everyone was like, fucking tennis. Where now, every girl has a tennis racket. Like,

Oh my God. I want to play tennis. But how fun is that? Wait, I need to give you guys a tennis lesson. I would do anything in the world. I can't imagine something funnier than us two trying to learn how to play tennis. It's also a good fitness. I would do anything in the world to try it. Seriously, let's do it. And I just want to go to like Malibu with you and there's like the Sophia Richie types like, and I want to just watch you fucking eat them alive. Oh my God. We'll grunt. We'll be like, ah! Like manly grunts. Oh my God. Wait, now this is my dream. I'm not kidding. I put it on the calendar. But it's so sexual. You just shove like a ton of balls in your skirt and you're just like, ah! Ah!

that's one in here one in here i'm like that's insane that's oh my god like a little bra wait you could be my protégé is you're my next william sisters oh my god i love that i absolutely love that i would love i love that sincerely stand up is crazy to me too like i love your whole journey i would like want all the man on the street shit you do and shit is so cool is that ever like because like i just recently got into like trying out man on the street shit yeah and i have i had so much fun it's an art but it's

Like people don't talk about how scary it is. Like you see the final product and it's just you like talking to people with a microphone and the people who talk back and the funny things or whatever. Yeah. You have to kind of like get up in someone's grill. You piss people off. I'm cheating in mine. Yeah.

Yeah. So mine, at first, I'm at a comedy club like every night, like working on material and you're just hanging. And I was like, it'd be so fun to ask dudes questions that like they don't get asked. Yeah. And like kind of make them uncomfortable. Yeah. And just see the men really know these things. And again, I know that like I'm not afraid of saying stupid shit. Yeah. Didn't you ask men like how many tampons girls use in like a week? How many tampons do they use during the week?

Like I'll ask them all that stupid shit. I'll ask them about farting. Like girls who fart. And yeah, I almost feel like it's almost all the questions I ask are such good first date questions because after asking them these weird questions, I'm like, I know exactly the kind of dude you are. It's so true. It's so true. So, but they're just down for it. So what I was doing is that this comedy club and I went outside and I was interviewing men and they're like these drunk finance bros and it was fine. But the next day they're,

calling me like messaging me on LinkedIn being like hey don't post that don't post that because you have to get consent and if they're drunk there's no consent and I'm like I'm not fucking getting in like legal battles with these people and I don't care to post you that bad yeah so there's I actually am interviewing all my comedian friends

Oh, really? Who are at the club. They're comedians. They're stand-up comedians. Because at first I was like, I don't want comedians. Like, I want it to be, like, raw and stupid. But I realized comedians are raw and stupid. Yeah. So I end up, I go to the club, I text all my people.

these are like open micers these are people who've been doing comedy for 10 years oh that's genius and we've created this like community so i'm not going up to random people i would like harass strangers for it it's terrifying it's really terrifying and also you almost have to get if you do that you have to not be yourself you have to be like i'm a different person no coming up 100 it's like manic and insane and you have to like just block out completely where you are and i do it with jeff and jeff is like yeah insane and like this man too like he's not afraid of anything you know what i mean so if he pisses someone off he's like let's

You know what I mean? And I'm like highly sensitive where I'm like, if I was that person right now, I'd be so upset. No, literally. And I'm like in the corner like, oh my God, Jeff, please stop. Like, this is so embarrassing. Like, I can't. I'm interviewing comedians at the club. So I'll like hit him up and be like, I'm doing me on this. I called him on the street. 8 p.m. They all get in.

And then I We just fucking go For like three hours And that's so smart And then you just know It's gonna be funny Cause they're funny And then I edit I edit the fuck out of it Cause I actually came Come from like a Comedy video background Really? I used to work With this company Betches Okay Where I would Wait Wait I know

what it is. They're like a meme page. Yeah. I used to write. They have a podcast, right? So they have podcasts. They have like a lot of stuff, but I was like 25, no job and was like, I want to do something with video and just be a goofy little goose. Nice little goose era. And I manifested like I just want to do video. Next thing you know, they're paying me like $300 a week. People were like, Hannah's not doing well, but I saw a long term. I was like, when I'm 30, I'm going to at least be in my lane. I'm going to be on the right track.

surfing. Right, right. I'm a huge surfer. So I started writing tweets and memes and it was like a betches boot camp, I called it. And then I started writing these SNL type sketches. And again, I was just working my little ass off for no money. But I was like, wait, I found my lane. And I was fucking a comedian at the time, so subconsciously I was learning about him. Don't do that to me. But we have to talk about it. We used to have this conversation because I have a serious problem with saying things we shouldn't on this podcast.

What's your experience? Besides your husband, did you dabble in comedians at all? I had one very serious comic that I dated, and I messed around with another one. And I know them all very deeply. So when I first heard about comics, they're like, comics are the worst. And I'm like, are they really that much worse than a finance bro or an actor or YouTuber or TikToker?

And I realized I was like, no, not if you're with a successful one. No, the successful ones are like the most fucked up. Because it's like narcissistic vibes? It's the most insane because they're so powerful that they can make anyone laugh at any time. Yeah. So there's different types of comics. There's the ones who are like so funny on stage and then off stage they're just like depressed, empty, worthless without like

validation yeah which we can relate to I'm like wait and then there's the ones that don't fucking turn off yeah like as in like I'm doing bits I'm doing bits I'm doing I don't think I could be with somebody like that honest to God because I feel like I would just be like how can I tell when you're not kidding

I realized that. Like, I thought I was going to enter a comedian era for like two seconds and then it was like, okay, everything can't be a joke. And if you're hanging out with their friends, it's like, you can't get a word in because everyone's getting the punchline, the punchline, the punchline. Yeah, and they're like the person who has to be like, have the most attention in the room and it's like, and it's, you have to turn your own volume down. when you're always swinging like that, like not everything's funny. Like if they're like still or sparkling, I'm like still and you're like, don't think about still. It's like, oh my God. Yeah, at some point you're like,

How much laughter do you need to feel whole? And they're definitely like not being themselves. So you're like, how do I even like connect with you? Because they act the same way in front of everyone and they don't fucking turn off. So those are kind of like the two comics. Like they're really depressed. And then my dude was like a European comic. So they're kind of different. So he's like, he's a little different. So he's like, I see. So he like smokes a cigarette. But he's more like...

more life where like if you met him you wouldn't know he was a comedian. Yeah. And that's like ideal. Yeah. But a lot of the comics like their skill is conversation. So like I have to tell myself sometimes to stop because I'll be like at a normal brunch and I'm like I gotta murder this brunch. I gotta be killing. I gotta get everyone laughing. Then I'm like stop.

People like you. Just sit there. Just exist. Well, it's hard when you have a job in general that relies on any form of validating people because it's a very weird gray area of trying not to run that over into your every interaction. For sure. But I also feel like

There's so many people who are funny and to do stand-up comedy you have to have a certain level of self-hate. Like, it's crazy to be like, instead of staying in tonight I'm gonna go out and test new jokes on an audience that could think I suck. Yeah. But I have that masochistic vibe where like, I think it's a lack...

I'm very confident but deep deep down I'm not confident in that I'm like I need to work so much harder than everyone around me to be successful that's fair wow so I do like so then I do crazy shit where it's like yeah why why do you have 400 shows this month oh my god that's just literally I can run away from my thoughts understandable though that's so crazy though I just would have so much fear honest to god just like a bad audience like don't ever you say honest to god I want to say on god oh my god

See, and then it's like I just do things like that and it's like, oh my God, how do you ever like recover? Like I'm in a constant bit. But that... Like now I can never not... Oh, 100%. And it's...

also women sorry I didn't mean to yell at you guys women are multifaceted like you could be like on God Bryce whatever and then the next second you're fucking yelling at your accountant being like yeah I made three million dollars last month figure out what to do like it's about like we're not putting one box you're averse you're averse

Many talents Sometimes it's pussy Sometimes it's dick It's whatever you're in the mood for It's all of the above Honestly that's true But I'm proud of you guys I feel like you're fucking killing it You're putting yourself out there I think it's so funny That you said Before we started rolling That we are like The epitome of LA to you Like or that we like Define LA That sounded That sounded more condescending Than how you said it You said it really nicely No no no Yeah that Cause it

I don't, I'm not familiar with like the YouTube scene. I'm like, I'm from Brooklyn, New York. I'm just a New York city rat. I call it. And you go online and you see like Tana with like gorgeous blonde hair with all these like Buffalo sauce in it ranch. And just like all these like celebrities that you see. And like every night they're just partying and, and then like,

Just looking insanely hot all the time, going out. I don't know what tan you're seeing. Bikinis. That's like the... The fake one. The sim. And then you guys, you're always like, there's some Corvette in the back. Like, I'm just trying to...

There's some like kid with a weird haircut that has like 80 million followers. Just like patchwork tattoos. Yeah, always. It's just it's great. And yeah, like even sitting here, you know, I live in like a little apartment in New York City and you guys are looking on to I don't even know what this is. I don't know what L.A. is, but it's beautiful. I don't know what that is. But I feel like you're fucking L.A. I am like so L.A. And I'm like, I fought that for so long, but I've just been here for so long that I think I don't feel like it's a shameful thing. People are always like so.

so condescending about it. I'm like, I love it. You're what people move to LA to become. I think as long as you don't get caught up in like the negative shit. I also, I saw this TikTok of this girl on a podcast, like a TikTok on a podcast and she was like, LA is just so dark and everyone's s***.

off bleep it god damn it and just going on and on but I'm like if you can't come to a city and find six people who are real people two just find two you'll make it on god literally two people who are just real as shit and like take you out of that world and you guys can actually have a real friendship and be real people like you're the problem people are assholes everywhere LA is just so I can't make one friend I'm just so different than everyone else

Make friends with the barista bitch Like they're normal fucking people Find someone with a normal job If you want them to be normal Honestly go back 100% Yeah go on I think blaming a whole ass city I'm not Cities are fucking hard Cities will eat you up And spit you out for sure New York as well New York is just like that But I always say like

It's about the energy. You're here for the potential and the energy and you don't just get here and everything works out. Yeah. Like you didn't just become where you are. And you have to fight for shit, even shit like friendships and relationships. And you've got to like work to curate what you want around you and not just like, oh, well, it's me. Nothing. I was there for like literally three and a half years before I had any friends that were like.

that you like my real friends or had any sort of and you were also figuring out who you were too during it oh yeah i don't but that's why i think people come to la and they just want it all to be like success and you know a slow rise to beautiful fame you fucking failed your way to the top and i'm gonna keep doing it and that's the michael jordan shit like i mean with all these random references but like you're such an athlete i'm such an athlete i'm literally i'm an old man i told you i'm an old man but like he shot and missed so many like

God, I'm going to leave here today on a motherfucking high horse. Like I'm canceling my meetings. I'm failing my way to the top. Jordan is a great small time, right? He missed so many game winning shots because he was going for it. You're just always going for game winning shots. Don't be sitting around the bench, judging the people going for game winning shots and missing suck a dick. That's

It's just so funny comparing Tana Mongeau to Michael Jordan in any realm. I've never been done before. There's truth to, like, I understand the analogy, but just, like, out of body. And I don't necessarily know if I think everything was a game-winning shot. Like, I think some were like, put the ball down, bitch. Like, get a grip. Pass the ball. Like, traveling with it. Like, no, no, me. Like, no. Awful. Are you afraid of failing? No. Oh, my God. And it shows. I...

I fucking swear. I swear. It just means you're going through life fearless. I think... She's not crying. I'm just, you know... Right, literally. I think I don't... I'm just always swinging. That's what I've always said. I'm always swinging some hit, some miss. I'm just... I used to be worse with that because I'm very naturally impulsive. Like, especially if there's no... Like, if there were no cameras on right now, like, I'm saying...

It's just live stream of consciousness. You know, I'm even just now that we're getting back into this, like trying to work on being better at that. Like not just like, don't say some things, you know what I mean? Loose lips like makes you good at what you do. But then as more people listen, you're like, oh, like what I say affects people. So there's like a balance.

I've just entered my what I say affects people era. And also when you're trying to make people laugh, that's hard because obviously the behind all of it is always good. You're like, I'm trying to get laughter. Absolutely. So you're not like out here trying to like actually like, yeah, be a politician and like hurt people. And I love shocking shit. So I'm like always saying shocking shit, wild shit. But it's like I've just like when I look back on my old anything like interviews, podcasts, TikToks, everything like.

Even just this week, this girl was like kind of coming at me on like a podcast. And I was like, me, two years ago, would have a seven-part series. Disortating, why I hate her, her life, her existence, and every bad thing she's ever done. As if I've done nothing bad ever. You know what I mean? Like just like rose-colored glasses on completely. And like now I can actually just like press drafts. There's also this new thing of like...

you not responding takes you to like another level. It's beautiful. It really is. I have such a hard time with it though because I want so badly to respond. That's why the Reddit thing. I'm going through the Reddit phase right now and it's like I can't handle it. Do you know what she admitted to me downstairs? No.

Like you can waterboard this information out of me, Brooke. First of all, like I can't even believe she has an account on Reddit, but her username is like, like user one zero seven, like five, whatever, like just a randomized one. And she'll be on her Reddit thread. And if someone says something about her, she'll be on that little account, like defending herself and then write like dash Brooke. Like,

Like is in the thread like on a burner. I'll say, yeah, like no, you're wrong. This is what really happened. And I say it's me. And they're like, okay, user 537. I'm sure you're Brooke. And they never believe me. You know this is not sustainable. I know. It's not sustainable and it's really bad for my mental health, honest to God. Reddit is emotional cutting. Oh.

It is. It's self-harm. I'm sorry, clip. No, it's literal self-harm. And then you get a little, you have a couple good comments and you get kind of cocky. That's the problem. She taught me this from the beginning. She says you are independent of people's opinions of you, good or bad. But it's like, I don't want to be independent.

independent of the good opinions because i'm like you're so right but it's just it's but that's i once was told by like some producer some shit he was like the people that love you and the people who hate you are actually kind of like they don't know you and you can't take in the love or the hate it really that's so true like they're the same in different ways like you have to kind of take everything like that and it's hard because i'll read a comment like

you know what I mean? Like cancel episode was the best ever. This was the best ever. And I'm like, we are the best. And then I, and then I read another comment that's like, you should die. And then it's like, should I? Cause then if I hold the other one to that way, I'm going to hold the bad thing to that way. That's the problem. It's like, how do you care about one side and not the other? Exactly. But it's just so fun. It is fun. If you guys sat up here and just like, what do people want to hear? You don't have a successful pod. It's what you want to say and what you want to do. And that's what makes you authentic.

to you and I like let if I read comments and shit and like let them affect me like that like I will notice it in like the ways that it manifests in my personality like I will just notice like the things that I'm now catering to mentally I say it affects your creativity 100% the second you start being like

oh people are gonna think I'm too geeky or awkward or whatever or I'm annoying you stop being yourself and if you're not getting hate on your podcast that means no one listens to your podcast yeah I love it I do have a hard like still though I'll read a comment that's like oh she always talks over Tana and then the next episode I'm sitting there the whole time like

And the people are like, she literally doesn't talk enough. Yeah, and you'll just never win. If I don't talk over you, it means I'm not listening. I agree. If you say something and I wait four seconds, that means bitch is spacing out. Absolutely. Like the ADHD brain. Exactly right. That's my favorite thing you've said so far. ADHD brain is everything to me. Like...

Like I'm going to forget. I'm going to forget my thought if I don't say it the second that it comes to me. It is interesting. LA does have a certain culture where like you see what like an ideal success is and you want to be like, oh, I want the surgery to look exactly like that girl or I want the personality. I want the voice. I want to sound just like Kim K. And so many girls are becoming just little like carbon copies that are like McMansions. Like they're like, and it's just less than the original. And it's like, why don't you be that girl that other girls are like?

fuck, I want to be unique like that. Yeah, I know. I like say that and I agree with that, but then catch me at the med spa. Like I need a lip flip. Well, the med spas are like Starbucks here. Dude, it is so, they really are like Starbucks here. Do your friends tell you like, yo, you went a little too hard with the Botox? Because you could get lost in the sauce. I've been so lost in the sauce. We got in a fight recently. I was like, your lip flip looks so fucking stupid. I'm so bad at talking honestly. Literally. But you need a friend because you're so stupid.

friend because you know if you do a little like miss piggy i looked like first of all you look great now i feel like both of us well we dissolved a lot but yeah oh yeah is everyone dissolving in la i dissolved almost like i was going real crazy with it if you like look back at like the beginning of canceled podcast i'll see those and i'm like who if my upper lip didn't touch my nose like for years i had like a serious issue and then one day i was like you know your side profile exists right and they're out to here and it's not fucking cute you're not looking

yeah like you know what i mean like yeah like like okay it's up to here but it's also out to fucking here bitch yeah but like i know and i've kissed girls with like hella lip filler and without hella lip filler and i actually remember the first time i hooked up with a girl with lip filler and she had like a lot and it was like hard in my head i was like this is this is what i've been giving for like years in like in like a way it was still good like no shade i'm just saying it's like

For some reason I tell me Ozempic just hit New York Did it just hit New York? It just hit New York And the girl Everyone's like Freaking out Yeah Cause everyone's like Is she on it? Is she on it? I'm like Reddit knows Reddit knows everyone Who's on Ozempic They really do So it's been in LA For like a long time Well I think it's been in LA For like

products almost like a year now though like well kim k did the she definitely did it for the mat she had to for the maryland she did run on the treadmill a lot she said and then i mean you know but it's weird because la is so weird and dark like that that even like like i just hit 75 hearts so i'm like looking healthier and shit like feeling healthy and every person i see it's like i'm

Like that's the same thing as just saying like, are you losing weight really fast? Which is the same thing as just saying like, let's all get eating disorders. Like it's crazy that that's like, you put 75 days in of like taking care of yourself. And someone's like, did you just, and honestly, I had that too. I went through a bad breakup, like a really bad breakup, lost like a bunch of weight and everyone's like, I'm like, I did this the old fashioned way getting cheated on. It's insane. Like literally it's, it's easier than you think.

I lost myself. I couldn't find myself for months. And now, and it sucks too. Cause everyone's like, you look, God, I had no idea. You look amazing. And I'm like, well, great. I can never gain a pound again because that's the worst about the city. Like the, the, you look amazing of it all. Like you've lost so much weight. I like it, but it's like not so much though. No, it just makes me think of a person so differently because I would never walk up to someone and say, you lost so much weight. So whenever someone like says some shit like that to me, I'm like,

yeah say someone looks good like oh you look great not oh my god have you the balls like the balls to walk up to someone and say you've lost weight to me is absolutely no on tiktok for a second the searches for my name were all like brooks gofield fat brooks gofield weight brooks gofield oh is that before and after i will

I'm like, what if I want to eat again? Like, God damn. No, you're so right. Just be like, you look really good. Yeah. And let them take it how they want. Because like, you want to compliment the person, but you don't want to be like, oh my God, you were so fat three months ago and now you're like not. Because that's what you're literally saying. I'm not kidding. No, someone will say that. They'll be like, God, wait, I thought you were fat.

That is also just such a big thing about LA too. All the like stuck up people who just will straight up be like, you look so bad like four months ago. And like people like, there's such a category of people in LA who like that's how they mean well. Like they think that that is like. Well status is only like if you look like the beauty standard. Yeah.

which is so annoying because you know the men are not like really dealing with this as much. In fact, I think that they have the opposite where, well, I mean for me anyway, I like it. I'm a fat hairy man. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe not. I don't know. An ugly hot has now become so camp for guys. And I think we're getting there a little more societally with girls, but it's like,

ugly hot is really a fucking thing for men. Like women, you're still just getting called ugly. You know, I guess that's why I wanted to be with like hot dudes to be like, I can be ugly hot. I'll sit here. I'm not shaving my legs. And like ever. And you're going to fuck me ever. And I, cause I don't like the fact that like even stand up before a show, like I have to wake up and for my nap. I love it. It's like,

Isn't it? Like, night time. That's a crack of dawn. I have to curl my hair. I got to put my makeup on. During that time, the men aren't doing that. The men's stand-ups are working on their bits and shit. Oh, it makes me so fucking feel. So it's like this world that we're competing the same in, except I have to do, like, a lot more. Or I post a stand-up bit, and all the comments are about my outfit. And it's like, let's be honest. I did not know what I was going to wear. I was late to my set. At all. I pulled some shit. Which is just ridiculous. I thought the outfit was fine. No one's happy about the outfit now. No one's commenting about other guys.

outfits. Yeah, like literally. They look like a school shooter. Seriously. Every time. Every time. And we eat it up. So I'm like, yeah, he's hilarious. Which comic are you fucking? That's how you after? What's his name rhyme with? We can bleep it. Well, there's a couple. No.

Not there's a couple. Oh my God. Well, the comedy scene too, it's like kind of easy to get. It's very small. So once you like, I know. Well, that's we, so we had, we had an issue this, we had to cut it out of the last episode. Maybe we should just tell her after.

I was accidentally seeing like three at the same time. And I'm not kidding. They were all so related to like one of them opened for the other one at a show we went to. We were like, this is messy. No, it's bad when you hyper fixate on like a type of like job and a man. Yeah, because it's not like musicians. Like there's like five comedians. And they're singing different kinds of things. No, the comics are all so close because they've been doing it for 10 years together. They're like co-workers. Yeah. So musicians have their own business.

bands and yeah absolutely that's so funny hyper fixating on like career i do that no i did like i need a dentist i need a fucking dentist i know i weirdly do the fuck out of that like literally like last year it was like i need he has to do real estate like why and then you also like learn about it from one guy so then the next guy you're like oh yeah the mortgages yeah i know oh my god i feel like i remember like the mortgage is gonna be so annoying but

Literally my favorite thing. It's the only thing I know mortgage. It's the only thing I could think of when I thought of houses. I need to pick a new one. Like I need to pick a rogue one. Like race car drivers. What are your types? Wait, I'm going to Formula One. Yeah. In Monaco. Literally next week. Wow. I forgot to tell you. You're getting flewed out left and right, Brooke. Flewed out. Flewed out. You know I've never been flown out by a man anywhere. That's a flex. It is a flex. I haven't either really. I'm a whore. So obviously, you know. How do you get flown out? What do you do? You just like post bikini pics? Yeah.

Like actually I think so And then it's like That's the order of operations It's like tit-tit And when I show up Looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy And not like Kim K Like just mind your Fucking business seriously So you get flown out Because guys slide into your DMs They're just like Yo do you want to like Suck my dick in Monaco Well that's the thing Is like First of all That's not the trip I'm going on I did not mean to put that on you She was like I never said that I never fucking said that

I literally never saw. I like it to be very no expectations. Like if I feel like they're trying to fly me out to fuck me, which you can kind of like sense, then I'm not going to do it. But if it's like, oh, you have a crush on me and you want to fuck me, I'll let you fly me out. And then just like the whole time. How often are you like kind of into the guy who flows you out?

Absolutely never We can't get the tense right for flown out I'm like We have a reoccurring character we talk about all the time Who literally pays for Tana's flights Yachts everything all the time And like he literally doesn't watch anything Like just like loves me and wants to be around me I seriously have to stop But do you do it for the photo? No it's like bless his heart You know what I mean like He means so well and I'll be at home But like why do you go?

I mean, doesn't Italy sound beautiful? Yeah. And like we, he has a lot of mutual friends that are my friends. So it'll be like a big trip of all my friends. And then he's there and it's like, you don't think one day he's going to hit you up and be like, do you remember all the things I've done for you? No, no. And that's, that's why it's like actually sad because his heart is just like literally so pure. So I've decided to like write off actually saying anything awful ever again. Seriously. We love you. Ibiza this summer. Can't wait. After Ibiza. And I never get to go and I'm the only one who's nice to him.

Because he doesn't like that. Yeah, I almost think he likes me because I stress him out. Like, that caliber of men who, like, almost enjoy, like, oh, is she going to miss her flight? Like, they like the excitement. People who have, like, those kinks where they want you to be, like, mean to them. Is she going to waste all my money? Because I think some men want to, like, daddy, like, oh, you just, like, you can't ever make your flight, baby. Like, I'll change it for you. Like, it's okay. And then I'm like, yeah, daddy, I'm so done.

You're just fucking someone else during the time. Wait, so with these like famous dudes that you fuck, because like I think every girl should fuck famous dudes to learn how sick they are. Like they're not. It's like it's like mentally ill. Yeah. OK. I was like, oh shit.

No, not, no. Like famous people have serious problems and it's not always like the kind of demons you want to deal with. Have you ever been with like a famous person who had really weird like kinks in bed? We were actually just talking to this downstairs with just the state of my toes. My hair girl was like, I think it's so funny like how your toes look all the time and every man you date is like foot worshipping you and sucking your toes and shit. Like just like at the dinner table. Like, you know what I mean? Like they're eating like a chicken tender and then like my toe and it's like, and they don't want you to pedicure and

No I just I'm not I think they probably do Want pedicure But it's like You don't have to suck my toes You know like I'm not like Suck my toes Like it's always like They're gonna They're gonna put their feet In the water No pun I can't believe you've run Into that many people With a toe kink Like I don't even I don't know anyone With a toe kink And maybe it's the type Of person I attract Just like extreme mental illness So then the toe kink Kind of goes like

I wonder what triggers a toe fetish. Like what happened in your childhood? I don't know. Maybe just because it's like wrong. Like it goes along with all the things. It's dirty. Yeah, it's wrong and it's dirty. Do you do toes on OnlyFans? Absolutely. I want to get into that. So many toes. Would you ever make an OnlyFans? Someone said I had a good arch.

That's all you need bitch Really? No I'm Oh my god It's crazy Cause I have like 10 I have like I'm Italian I have like hairy toes No I posted like a promo foot pic one time I'm literally so disgusting It was like hot Cheetos in between my toes And I was like This will get them over to my OnlyFans And I had so much toe hair Like in my Twitter Zoom And I realized So yeah I don't

It's funny. There are comics, comic girls who have OnlyFans. That's amazing because they like they're starting off their career or they haven't been making money and then now they like are financially set. Yeah. And can just do what they love which is comedy and get better. The foot stuff. I'm like that is

well it's just crazy like i could take the most tasteful nude like spider-man flexibility like my pussy's in my own mouth and it's a photograph and i would make less money than like my pinky toe like i swear to actually god like it's actually discouraging i really think you should get into it it's are you on no why i don't know i don't have a judge i am that she's not on when i'm not on i'm like what's wrong with you i just don't i don't know my feet aren't like that

You're feeling like that. You had an OnlyFans. I'm flat footed. I'm humiliated. You had an OnlyFans for like five minutes and one of the girls, literally five minutes. I'm not even kidding. Oh my God. And one of the girls. Tell the story. This is how traumatic it was for me. I was with an OnlyFans agency and there was a girl who was helping me run my account and I was apparently not providing enough foot content. Okay. So she took it upon herself to post her own feet on my Instagram or on my OnlyFans account.

And send them around and get money for them. But when I tell you these were the worst...

worst most grimy feet i've ever seen i was so traumatized i deleted my whole account because that's one thing if it's like a foot dupe like if it's like your foot but like better it was but it was just such a different i've never even seen feet like this before i thought it was like and she wasn't like heads up i'm gonna post my feet no i logged in myself and saw it did they go i think that was your final shot you were like i can't do this it was are you kidding i was like i'm i'm deleting it absolutely whereas like you know me i'd be like yeah whatever oh

No, I still have nightmares about it. No, they are only my feet. Swear to God. Wow. I feel like I'm learning. I'm kind of an LA girly now. I'm learning so much. I'm learning so much. Wow. You know, I've never gone Botox. Ever? And I don't mean it like I'm like, I'm not like other girls. No, like I just... I'm not kidding. I froze the shit out of my face the other day. If you notice, only one of my eyebrows lifts right now. I want you to tell me someone died. And I want to look at you and be like...

No way. Enough. Move. I'm serious. If I even, if I can even emote like remotely, like something's wrong. Oh my God. Am I doing it? Like people always make fun of my crying face because my crying face very much. You don't know if you're laughing or crying. That's what happened to me last episode.

Wait, that's amazing because I love New York versus LA stuff. Because New York, the girls, it's always about like looking like you look so good looking like you've worn no makeup. Yeah. It so is. And when I go to New York, I feel like a hooker. The girls are like, but they're wearing tons of makeup, but they make it look like they're not wearing any makeup. And then it's all like so subtle, like all the work that's being done. They pretend that it's.

And it's more like, I'm just working. I'm just working hard, working a lot. But they'll pressure you like, oh, you're not getting stuff done, are you? Judgy. We're LA girls. I feel like it's not judgy. I'm melting in a landfill right now.

out here that's true New York is kind of like like that I've never thought about that and even like makeup artists when you go to LA like they they beat that face up like the New York girls are like Hailey Bieber they're like oh my god literally the New York girls are like that pisses me off so bad I'm like how I want to be like that so bad but I will never know just rub your eyes from the night before and we'll smoke it out like no I need you to do surgery when I'm in that chair

Like I need you to do whatever my nose job doctor couldn't do the first time around right here and now. Turtles are dying just from the plastic intense face. So many turtles. So many fucking turtles. I'm like, and it works. I love it. It works every time. I could never go back. Are you afraid of, yeah, well you can't, can you not go back? Well you can, but it's like people, people always say like, you don't even need that. You're so beautiful. I'm like,

Because I have it. Like literally because if you saw me before, you'd be like, okay, good. My lips before were like just someone took a fine tip Sharpie and drew like two lines. I had a little beak. I'm not kidding. I had like a little bird lip. Little beak is crazy. Did you guys do Fox Eye?

No. What's the tea with foxy? So people do these things called PDO threads out here. I couldn't tell you the second president, but ask me a damn thing about John Adams. Where they put these threads, these metal threads, like in...

Like into your face Like right here And then they like Put them up to here Yeah But then the threads dissolve So over time You see people And their eyes Are like sagging in Because think about it They're stretched like this At all times Like when it goes back down Yeah There's like a little more Right there So then people They say like That's why Bella Hadid Disappeared for like three months Because you have to Eventually like If you want to commit To that bit Of the whole like eye up Commit to that

Like if you want to commit to the whole PD, eventually you have to stop doing the threads and go get the surgery where they straight up like slice into your skull and they pull it up. And I guess you guys, you love, you love your lips. So you're like, I don't have to worry about if I ever took it out what they look like because they're always going to be. I think I,

put in so much that they'll never well that's what happens so like i we've i don't i'm sure it's happening to you too but we've gotten it for so long that like when it does dissolve they're still bigger because they're stretched yeah yeah and god keep them stretched seriously i'm sorry but like lip filler changed my life like it i and i mean that i really do and i hate to say it as like a fake girl but it's just and it sucks because it's like no but you're being the least fake you could be that's really nice it's fake when people are like my lip just like

I had an allergic reaction and just stayed one day. No, we'd be saying it. I got like lipo. Imagine that's my whole new bit. Just telling people I had an allergic reaction and everything just stayed one day. And just like run that home. I'm going to start telling men that. Men are so stupid. You know it would work. Oh my God, yeah. Like I've never had that. No, because you have a fucking massive following and girls with massive followings like you are literally lying their fucking tits off online being like, I just like...

Woke up this way It's absolutely Because you see their faces And you know Oh and I know Who did it I don't understand Why people are so Embarrassed by it I guess they just Want to feel better Than people and be like Oh your mom Didn't pop you out Like this

Yeah, which is just wild. It is such a, like, huge thing about LA. But if it gives you confidence, like you're saying with your lip, like... Yeah, like, literally, just... That's how I've always felt. Like, just do it. Who gives a fuck? Who, like, whatever. Like, ass injections, I was the first one being like, listen, I wasn't trying to look like Hank Hill. I literally got half my arms taken off straight up.

And then I was At her birthday the next day But I love that With my faha on I love that you've never had Botox You've never done anything You're so naturally stunning Oh my god It is insane Well thank you But I also I was that bitch That was like Don't get plastic surgery Like make sure you think Like within first Like talk to a therapist first I probably should have thought with

thin before a couple things like she doesn't give a point but I think there's an in-between because sometimes I feel like people think that it'll solve other problems getting something done it doesn't and then they just keep doing more and more and then you lose yourself yeah so there's a thin line of an in-between but also absolutely I believe if you were not in LA with the access and the people around you it's more like you're just in your culture right now yeah exactly like I can go down the street and like if you guys were my besties every day we would be getting it done together

Absolutely. Honestly. But like I didn't, it's just people in New York are like doing it on the low. Yeah. That's so true. It's not like as of just like a fun act. Like we could go get a coffee and Botox today. Like, and that's just like, and we probably will. Literally. It's like a normal thing. You know what? My friend Paige and I, we've never gotten Botox, but we're like, when we do it, we have to do it together and we have to like film it and make it like a thing. We're treating it like it's like surgery. We should go with you guys. We go to this place in Glendale and it's like this Armenian restaurant.

family and they are like our family at this point we call her mama nune and her sister lilia they're literally family to me like i love them more than anything well no they literally are like besties with kim and shit like it's she'll like post up with kim k and then she's with me the next day i'm like it's so weird but it's funny because it's like we go in through the back and they just like grab a random needle they're like sit down i'll do it champagne like yeah you're not supposed to drink during it like it's like la shit no you they would literally have a heart attack if they came with us it would

Yeah, because it's such an untraditional experience. You can still go out here and it's like you go in and you consult and you read all about it and you really make a good decision. Where we go, it's like you're strapped down to a torture table and they're like, let me do what I want. They will make you out. No mercy today. I don't. None. Like none. They're like, it hurt good. Like they don't care at all. And it's so funny. You want the shots, baby? Lay down. Where are you from originally? Las Vegas.

which I think says a lot about me. White trash. So, the white trashiest ever. The trashiest place in the world. And you can like, you know, you could try to take the girl out of it, but like I'm still going to be Ugg boots man spread. Can you guys come to my show? I have a show at the Wynn. I'm banned from the Wynn for life. She is banned for life, but I will be there. What did you do? She's been banned twice. I got banned. She got unbanned. She had literally had to call like Mr. Wynn himself, get unbanned, and then got banned again literally the next time she went. Mr. Wynn.

And now they just, they have no mercy for me. I've told this story like so many times. Like, so I'll just, I'll sum it up very quickly. But like point being like, like I got banned the first time, bunch of dumb shit. I'd have my lawyers like write a letter, like call Mr. Nguyen, call in the LA troops, like Zach Bia, like can you vouch for me? Like whole nine. I get unbanned. I go back two times. I get rebanned for more questionable activities. And the head of Nguyen security called me a criminal and a bozo and said-

She's in her bozo era A criminal bozo A bozo is hilarious Like both of those words Are like weirdly painful Like you call me Like a dumb bitch But like criminal bozo Hurts Like it will never Not hurt me When I think about it And like they Like now it's like They just laugh about it They're like don't even try bitch Like you're never Coming back here Wait that is so fucked up And is it like when Like there are like Many properties that are

There's like, yeah, there's Encore. There's like Wynn properties all over the world. Like the Wynn had a huge like Coachella party and everyone went and I was like, oh my God, Palm Springs. I'm going to go in the desert and like roam around. It's so horrible. And it's the best hotel in Vegas by far. Well, so I've never stayed. I somehow, it's like my first ever like stand-up performance in a like legit club in Vegas. No, and look at you. You really like, you went final boss mode without having to do all the scary things first. Like the Wynn is like the nicest place you can go in Vegas. It's crazy. It's crazy.

Well, like, I've been doing the clubs. I've been doing the clubs. And I'm in this weird place where you go from clubs to theater. And then it's, like, theater to maybe one day, like, arena moment. Yeah. And then... But...

Stand-up's changing so much Where now it's like Do people even watch Full hour specials? Like part of me is like You do? I love just like I love just posting shit on TikTok It's like my TV show You're so good at You do a lot of like Crowd work stuff too Yeah Well crowd work is so you don't burn material Yeah So someone was just telling me about that It's like you can't really post All your comedian boyfriends told you Yeah You know I mean date one And you know all about You could be a comedian It's like me with the mortgage Yeah

Crowd work is so impressive to me because I think that some days I would be able to turn it on, but there'd be certain days where I just like, I'd be like, I don't know how, like, you know? Do you ever have someone just give you an answer and you're like, you just don't have a joke for it? Oh, for sure. The thing, I actually think jokes are so much harder than crowd work because crowd work, like, we're doing it all the time. So there's only so many answers you get. So you kind of know where to go with it. And also, but you're right. You have to be in a mood to deal with people because sometimes it's like, I don't know.

if they're blackout that's hard but with crowd work i have the microphone i'm in control yeah i also think with crowd work you always just say like what first comes to your head so if they're giving me nothing then it's like well uh that you just wasted 30 seconds of everyone's life thank you like so i lean into that or like if i say something that isn't funny with crowd work then i'm just like oh everyone got tight on anal cool but sometimes with crowd work the key like

you guys know little tennis comedy protégés. I love this so much. The key is, like, sometimes you build tension through it not going anywhere. Like, once this guy was telling me he was, like, in a relationship for nine years, and I was like, why haven't you proposed? And he was, like, going nowhere. It was like, but I kept asking. I'm like, you have to wait. Like, don't force it. Something will come. Yeah. And finally, he's like, yeah, like, I don't have the money, da-da-da. I'm like, you're so boring. And I go, okay, girl. What?

What do you do for a living? And she goes, I'm a wedding planner. The place fucking erupted. And I'm like, thank God I didn't just like go off him and I like sat in it. Absolutely. But like it takes time to get the confidence to sit in something to be like, I'll get something eventually. That would be so hard for me. Like, oh, well, okay, next. Like, God forbid you go for another two minutes. Yeah. But you're dealing with people that you don't know what you're going to get. And sometimes they like try to be funny. She's a wedding planner. So then, yeah, I'm dying. So I'm like, so she just wakes up and was like, oh, how was your day, babe? Because I was planning on.

fucking wedding yeah like that's insane that's dark i also i love you almost become like a psychic where i'll see like two people sitting and i'll know like how long they've been together by how they're sitting because it's like what you do every night yeah so like you see when the guy's like this i'm like what two months oh my god and then you see like people like this and you're like oh it's been like you have kids no way or i'll see a guy and i'm like

You're a lawyer Like cause you You just look at people And have to judge them All the time That actually just happened At like a Theo show Where he was like Saying something to someone He was like I bet you're a painter And the guy was like I am a painter Yeah that shit will happen Cause he That man has seen So many people front row And how they look And like you just start Calculating it in your head I've never thought about that Sincerely cause in my head I was like that is the coolest Thing I've ever seen In my entire life Like absolutely ever See for me it's harder To like write like A really fucking badass Quality bit

Yeah, when you... Like, how does... Then, like, banter. How does your writing process go? Oh, my God. Great question. So I started, honestly, taking all of my tweets. Because I was, like, a tweeter. Okay. Same. All my funny tweets. And I'm like, that's a premise. That's a punchline. That's just, like, a tag on something. And I put it in categories. I'm like, this is about, like, dating. This is about, like, food. This is about...

astrology. Yeah. And then I kind of put it together and then a lot of it is like less what you say but how you make people feel. And like I just try to make people feel like I'm at brunch with you. Yeah. And like. You do that really well. Thank you. You do that really well. But like both of you guys are so funny and a lot of people you have a lot of natural comedic

like talent and just about wanting to materialize that materialize it and be like I could never I could never I like public speaking which is because I'm mentally ill same like I'm I'm more nervous if you like put me in a group of like five people and we're just sitting there I'd be like fuck

i do literally so we're like if you just put me on stage i'm like i got this 100 because it's you can't weirdly like disassociate i i do like i get that like you don't even know like i feel like it feels less personal i feel like it's so not personal also i'm like i'm fucking trying to make people's day tonight like i'm mother theresa i'm the michael gordon i'm a giver we're like it's so much more complicated like interpersonal talking absolutely that's why a lot of comics like off stage you think they're like the shit and then off stage they're like the

Absolutely. So weird. That's so many comics. Yeah. So many of them are just socially inept. Yeah. But they're like incredible at...

Talking about their own lives and processing their own shit, which can be it's hard to just always be questioning like how is this funny in my life? Yeah, but I don't mean to have become like that weird category of people that I don't want to meet for that reason because I guess the bit always on are you awful off camera like it's more pressure like a musician is still gonna be able to like sing the way that they sang on stage. You know what I mean? Like often it's like fine and you can live in it and like whatever but like a comedian to me I'm like

You can't crush my dreams. Like, I think you're so funny on that stage and you come off the stage and I hate you. And so many of them can be assholes. And some of them are fucking credible people. But also, if you think about even getting recognized, when people recognize me and they see me, they like, sometimes I think they expect me to do like, like make them laugh immediately or something. And I'm like, you know, I just got off the plane. I'm fucking, I have my Invisalign in and someone's like, hey. And you're just like, hey. Do you deal with that too? I feel like I deal with that where like, I think that people expect when they meet me at all times that I'm supposed to be like,

This was so awful. Like railing a line of coke off my like own foot and screaming and like sucking dick or whatever. And like sometimes I'm just because I feel like actresses, they respect like they're very like, oh, like you're busy. You have an art like, yeah, I don't know who you are. And that's OK. Yeah. But they're like monkey monkey move. Yeah. We're like a comic or like a reality TV person or YouTuber. They fucking know you. And they're like, don't act like you don't know. Right. Like if I'm sitting in the airport with like headphones in and just like chilling and someone's like, let's take a shot. And I'm like, hmm.

It's 7 a.m. I'm okay. I feel like I crushed their dreams. You know what I mean? But I do feel like some YouTubers are so naturally funny and they're similar to who they are. Yeah. Because they're just existing and being them. 100%. Those are the people I try to look for. I just have so much...

I mean, I've always said like if you are a completely different person on camera and you found a way to monetize that, like good for you as well. Like I don't I don't look down on it, but I love the satisfactory feeling of someone being just like they are on camera is like. It's also just easier. Like I don't I don't want to have to perform. Yeah. No, it's so tiring. But I love meeting people to do podcasts because you're always like, are they what I honestly you're both like so fucking cool in person. Hey.

Cause you could have been LA to me So were you Thank you I'm just tired You're exactly I'm so Dude there's no one else I would do I have nothing left Like fucking get up at 10am We normally podcast at like 10pm Well when they said Cause I was like I'm only free in the morning When she was like 10.45am I was like

I didn't see this for us, but I'll do it. And to be honest with you, like I woke up today and I was like, I don't know. Cause like, I can't turn on to like 4 PM. Like I'm going to watch this back and be like, that would have been so much funnier. I woke up today in my own vomit. I'm like, what a horrible day for me to be on. Like, like what was supposed to be? Where did you go last night? I went to, I went to Nobu. It's actually funny. I went to Nobu, like Mr. Nobu Matsuhisa, like had a, like the Nobu himself, like Mr. Nobu. He was with Mr. Nguyen.

Yes, he was. He was like, they were doing like a tequila launch or whatever, but it's like there's so many founders and each one wants obviously for you to try each individual thing. So by the end of it, I had taken like 60 shots. So you were working. Oh, I was working and I was networking, you know. One of the founders, he's like, what do you do? I'm like, oh, I have a podcast. And he's like talking about it. He's like, maybe I could come on. I go, oh.

Mr. Noble himself Like in this house No no no It was like one of the founders Of the tequila But he's like I was like It's just kind of like a Like I was trying to describe Like what the podcast is about He goes Oh he's like Oh so it's like Like that daddy podcast I'm like yeah similar Ten minutes later He comes back and he goes I've been telling everyone About your sex podcast I go Oh

I don't have a sex podcast. Honestly, though, we kind of have a fucking sex podcast. I know, but like I'm Mr. No, I don't want Mr. Nobu to know I have a sex podcast. I'm like, oh my God. And he walks away. He goes, I gotta go do some damage control. I'm like, what? No, sushi's very sexual. And I had my tits out. I was like, oh no, it was horrible. What was Mr. Nobu himself like? He was exactly what you would expect him to be. I don't, no, I need to, I need more. He was just, I mean, he'd,

Didn't say much to me As you can possibly imagine I like took a couple shots with him He's just walking around Greeting everybody But I threw up At Nobu Malibu I'm like this is so distasteful Like knees on the floor In the bathroom Oh yeah Honestly been there And I It's She's like if I had a nickel Yeah

Dead ass There's just There's something It's camp It was dehumanizing Is what it was It's like This is the most classy place In the world And I'm literally on my knees And then some girl In the stall next to you Is just like You're amazing It's okay babe You're gonna be fine And you're like Holding her hand And you're like Well they're like The girl with the sex podcast Is in there throwing up Do you go to these things alone? No I went I brought a friend

But like it was Nobody there Was below the age of 40 Like I Really? I was like Where did this invite come from And it had to have been an accident Like Yeah I'm not kidding So now all these like Like really established Business people Who are like 50 and above Are like There was a girl With a sex podcast And her tits out I was like

See like in like five years That's your dating pool But you're like weirdly Becoming so brand safe And I don't I don't know how Like we have this podcast together But then you're like I have a Dyson brand deal And then the owners Nobody invited me to this And this And I'm like over here With my dildos Well I think I think what it is Is like they invite me To things that they Want to invite you to But they know you Wouldn't show up

I would absolutely show... No, no, no. They don't want me there. I'm too much of a liability for them. 100%. Like, I've just... You know, you've never had a failed convention. You've never had like a... Like a... Yet. Exactly. Brooke Con coming soon. So you think a lot of brands don't fuck with you? Oh, they don't. 100%. I know they don't. But...

I've kind of known that from the jump. Like there was a point in my career where I was like six months in and I was kind of like, okay, right now I could do my makeup routine forever and I will make so much money from like Coca-Cola and Dove or I can keep talking about my pussy as a 16 year old. Yes. And I'm like,

And the sky's the limit. I just, in a way, I guess. The vaginal floor is the limit. I felt like my fans just wouldn't fuck with that and I would rather have built this authentic fan base who likes me for me. And it's scary to just depend on brands liking you. Like, that's an up and down. Yes, because then you have to hide so much. We do have a couple friends who like,

Won't say or do certain things online. Yeah, but they're rolling in the dough. They're rolling in the dough. I would be millions. Multi-million drink on the Internet. Like that's the most fun part about it. Absolutely. Yeah. Actually demonetized. Super. The canceled podcast isn't actually like, thank God. I found that out like today. Actually, the canceled podcast isn't. I'm like news to me. Right. Let me know. What's your wire info? Yeah.

But my actual YouTube channel, like if I make $4 on a video, I'm like, yes, that's a McChicken. I'm not even kidding. Like one in every like 10 videos will get monetized, I think. Because of the content on it? Yes, but I think that you get to a certain point where even if the content is...

Would be monetizable On another channel They're like We still don't trust you Like she meant something different They don't want the risk Of it rolling over To another video Yeah they're like Fuck you Tam Like you've had years To figure this out I started YouTube Like three months ago Really? I'm a new baby I've just been posting My like TikToks and stuff on it Like my stand up But I might Eventually start vlogging I just Please do You have a background In video editing too Not kidding I watch Burning In Hell All day long Me and my cat I just feel like You're the type of person Where it's like I don't want to watch A vlogger because They're going to like

The south of France And like Like you know I want to watch a vlogger Because they're in Ralphs And they're as entertaining As they would be in like Fiji You know what I mean Like I feel like I could just watch you Like do anything And it would be entertaining So you'd be a good vlogger Okay all our heads are so big At the moment Oh we're all leaving here today On full god mode Narcissist On god God damn it

Oh my god No I literally At someone's podcast yesterday I said Oblige and Tone And I was like I can't believe I'm talking to Tana Turner I literally love Oblige and Tone I think I might have to do The house remix thing Why wouldn't you? I just I really woke up one day And was like okay This music thing Cannot be for me Like I We don't even have to Just use the sound bit It's just I find it so embarrassing No I think you You

You're not involved. You get someone to take your audio. But then I have to be somewhere one day in a club appearance and they're gonna have... Like, I just started escaping Hefner. Like, we just did a club appearance where, like, I didn't have to hear, like, fuck on you bitch again, Hefner. Like, I... Love that. That's a banger, dude. Great song. I would... Thanks, guys.

Musical expeditionary Right here I would just be so sad To have to Once again Like I go in a restaurant And then I'm hearing Like a bleach and tone What if it's so fucking good I think I think it'd be funny What if you hear it At Coachella one day

I just, God, man, I guess reach for the moon. I feel like people really hurt you with the music stuff. I feel like they hurt you. I think it's just too, I like have a respect for music. I think that's the thing. I don't have like a respect for anything else I do. Whereas like, I like good music and I can hear mine and recognize. Oh, so you feel like you're hurting the music industry? Yeah, like I literally just feel like some people aren't meant to make music and I might be one of them as much as like, I, you know, I don't know. Do you disagree with her? I disagree with her. I disagree with you. I think you were born for it, honestly. I'm just kidding.

Also, you don't take anything seriously. Why are you suddenly being serious about music? That shit, make it funny. Laugh at it. That shit is so funny. And I guess I could do that for a long time. And then now I was just like, for some reason, it's like a beautiful art. Like, I can't. Maybe, who knows? You know what I mean? If you see me rapping on a stage with like, whoa, Vicky, and like fucking whoever else next week. Honestly, if it makes you happy, do it. If it doesn't, don't. That's my three cents. Honestly, yeah. Maybe I'm going to hit up the studio one last time and...

try this like dj would be so good i'm gonna just tell diablo to do it and you're just gonna be surprised with it how funny would that be he just came upstairs like for your birthday oh your birthday's coming up that's not what i want like i have a list of so many things i want for my birthday other than that seriously guys like oh my god i'll send it over but fuck boring

Well, Hannah, can I double check the time? Yeah. No. Yeah. Perfect time. We're on perfect time. We're on perfect time. I, we really wanted to make this like season of canceled less like, cause I feel like the first season we really tried to like have people on and like interview them. You know what I mean? Like, like we had like a Mike Malek episode where we sat down with him and we were like, so tell us about you doing heroin. And I look back at that episode and it's like very on brand, like for us.

And I like, and it was beautiful and all about mental health and whatever. But like, I look back at that and I don't necessarily feel like that's our niche. I wish we just like shot the shit. No pun intended shot. Shoot up here with Mike instead of, that was good instead of like, you know what I mean? And this is exactly what we wanted though, just to have someone on that. Like, we feel like we're friends with through Tik TOK and just have like a funny combo. And like, it,

It's an honor that you were the first person to do that with and just do it so well. No, you're going to make me cry. I feel like we all manifested this and like I already fucked with both of you online, but I would never think to like message you or anything. So when you messaged me, I was like, you messaged me separately. And then I was like, it was my dream. She like, I'm not kidding. We started talking about guests. I think you were the first person I thought of.

Because we hyper fixate on people that we feel like would be like our besties. You know what I mean? Like we saw you and we're like, I know we'd get along with her. That is crazy. Whereas it's like Barack Obama could be a guest. I think we'd be less excited. Like we want the people that just like the girlies love. So hot. But no, I feel like I've known you guys forever. And like you guys putting me on means the world to me because now I'm an LA girly. You are. I was literally just going to say, we're like already saw that. I've known you forever, girl. You're my best friend. We're going to have you back and she's going to have like the full. Yeah.

She's going to come back frozen fucking face, divorced her man, like Ozempic shooting up in the fucking thing. And thank God. And thank God. Guys, on God. Check out everything Hannah, please. You won't be disappointed. Thank you, baby. I love you.