29: Tana and Brooke Are BACK and Hooking Up With the Same Guy EP 33
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Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Sign up and download Grammarly for free at grammarly.com slash podcast. That's G-R-A-M-M-A-R-L-Y dot com slash podcast. Grammarly. Easier said, done. Canceled. Don't remember doing this at all. I can only hold myself accountable. Canceled. I am done. Look how good my life is. So what else? Cancel me. Fanimoja is cancelled.

Hello and welcome back to Cancelled 2.0 episode 1. I love to call it 2.0 and it's just like not what it is at all. No, yeah, sorry about that. That's how we're coping with the trauma of, you know, season 1 ending. But we are finally back. We are at my house. We are...

shooting this episode for the first time. The very first time, our very first try. We tried to shoot this episode like last week and I don't know what got into us or what we were feeling, but we came in with our like sad sacks on. No, here's the thing. I filmed that episode, ended it, and I was like, we ate. Like,

Like that was amazing. And we both watched it back. We were like, what the fuck? I felt the exact opposite. Like immediately after we were done. You knew already? I was like, oh no. And then I felt like almost in post we could like fix it in the edit. And then I was like, oh no.

Well, I feel like I knew that we would have to like cut some like slow parts because we did get a little dark. Yeah, we got dark and slow. The thing is, is we really wanted the first episode back to kind of be like a where we've been. You know what I mean? Yeah, but unfortunately we said too much about where we've been. And where we've been is not happy. It's not. We had like we were saying this to each other in the very beginning. We were kind of like, thank God in a way we didn't have a podcast.

Because like who we were as people is just crazy. So I think today we're going to try to still do that because I know that people want to know where we've been. And we want to touch on like the important things. We talked about some important things. We like we covered some important stories, but it was just it was it wasn't.

Quite what it needed to be It wasn't fun and spunky And I think that today we need to do the best To make light of our trauma And give you a fun and spunky update On where we've been But first of all Thank you to the people for waiting Thank you so much Sorry about that It was an actual accident Yeah, it was sincerely an accident We really didn't want Cancel to end But 2.0 We are back and better than ever We have great guests coming for you We have the best team doing all of this And I'm just I'm stoked to be back Woohoo

So Canceled ended in May. May. May or June. Something like that. Which is almost a year, which is kind of actually terrifying. Yeah, we're almost at our one year. Which is good that we got it back before then. There was a point that I was worried we were going to be out of the podcasting space for a second. It was scary. I thought it was out of the influencer space. I was literally applying at restaurants. It was crazy. It's so weird, too, because it's like during the time we went on a bunch of different podcasts, obviously you and I on different ones. But the feeling of having your own podcast

is so different to me. Yeah. I mean, it's, there's one thing like answering questions, but like actually going in and being like, ah, today I want to talk about this. It's exciting. And like, I almost equate it to like shower thoughts, you know? It is. No, it is exactly shower thoughts. I'll always be in the shower and be like,

gotta talk about this on my imaginary podcast. So we were gone for a while. You're like four boyfriends down. I, which is actually fucking crazy. It's actually fucking, I'm so embarrassed of my like, it's not embarrassing. It's inspirational. I ended when we ended on canceled. I was in my Chris miles era. And we still like be for real.

I like feel like an addict who's like slipped up so many times and I'm like, but guys, this time I'm off the black tar. Girl, if anyone knows, it's me. Yeah, we have to, we have to get into talking about that. But I was definitely in the most toxic space of my life, I think for like the first six months. Well, and the tail end, I guess, honestly, but no, like whole toxic relationship, whole moment. And I think that

I was saying this last time that I think my toxic relationship would have gone on 10 times longer if I still had the podcast. Yeah, because you would have had to exploit him for content, of course. And it was, oh my God. And just thinking about how bad things were in like the end, I would have came on and been like,

Guess what silly fun thing happened last week in the silly fun thing in question is like fun at all. My windows are shattered. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, actually, actually jail time. And I had to kind of figure that one out, which was good. I don't know. I'm glad you're out of it. But that was that was a fun. It was like a fun and fresh thing for us to talk about. It was a great podcast topic, but that's where it ended when it comes to things being great. And I think I'm healed.

You think so? I think I'll never be in a toxic relationship again. I'm going to clip this in like six months. It's going to be so embarrassing. I love you and I really hope that that is true for you. But what do you think, what do you think is the difference between like then and now? Like what do you think has changed really drastically to make it so that you don't think that that will happen to you again?

I think that I was just in a point and it's so crazy because it's like if you asked me at that time, like, do you love yourself? I would have been like, fuck. Yeah, I love myself. Like, I love myself. Life's good. I love myself. But like, if you're allowing that shit to go on something, some screw is not screwed in. Do you know what I mean? See, here's the thing. Problem is, I don't. And like, that's the problem for sure, because.

I feel like that could happen to me too. Brooke ended up as I was kind of trying to get out of my toxic relationship. You entered one. But I, to me, it wasn't that like, to me, I was like, I just crazy. Well, but to everybody else, it was this too. It just, it wasn't, it was the end that everyone was like, wait, it wasn't a toxic relationship. I was like, oh my God. Well, it was, it was basically immediately like got into a new relationship and it was like,

truly the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Well, this is so crazy. What's actually crazy as well is she's gone on every other podcast under the sun and you're like, cheater, liar, asshole, whatever. And then you sit down under the canceled lights and you're like, God, it was amazing. Which is insane to me. It wasn't amazing, but it felt like

To me, this is like my first like real like serious relationship where I was like very in love with somebody. And it was so immediate. Like we literally met very first date. We basically moved in together and we never separated. And that's, first of all, sounds romantic. It's unhealthy. Okay, don't do that. It is. Yeah. But it's fun. I get it. It was like, it was amazing. I loved him so much. And like we fought every like,

every second. And then we found out he was Jeffrey Dahmer, but now Brooke wants Taylor Swift era's tickets, so she's being nice to him this week to try to get Taylor Swift tickets. Okay, well, listen. Honestly, that's like...

I would talk to anyone on my exes for some It was a very very transformative Or like a formative experience for me Okay this was like my first major relationship You guys missed it all Thank God Yeah if you had a podcast at that time I think it would have been really scary No it would have been dangerous And like we kind of joke about it now But like the end of that relationship I thought you were going to die No I was going to die And I don't want to say that

It made me feel good in any way because it didn't. But it's nice that now we can kind of bond. Like, because before I feel like I would be toxic with my ex and we'd be like fighting and being crazy. And you'd be like, what is wrong with you guys? Like, just break up. No, it helped me understand a lot like more about like I had to do a whole round of apologies for like my certain friends that I was like kind of like because before it's like easy to be like,

your boyfriend fucking sucks you're an idiot like why would you do like deal with that until you have until you're in it and then you're like wait i love him yeah it's it's actually like such a the whole trauma bond of it all is like so scary it is and this is where we kind of went wrong with the last episode i accidentally got a little too dark on this um aspect so i will keep it short and sweet that was a really horrible breakup really traumatic really awful yeah i i hate i

That you're talking to him again so much I'm not talking to him again You know what's funny about Brooke I was telling her this downstairs Is I hate, hate, hate Talking to you about it Because everything is a bit It's not a bit, it's just like to me It's like She comes in and she's like yeah I just talked to him And like an hour later I go Brooke I really hate that you're talking to him again And you go I'm not No yeah he's horrible It's fine, like listen

I loved him so much. And you know what Billie Eilish said? Okay, she said it better than anyone else. That shit's embarrassing. You know? Yeah. That's what she said. You're like, I don't talk shit about you on the internet. That's what she said. And that's what I'm kind of trying to do. As of today. Yeah, that's...

She just like actively promoted a podcast that she went on where she's like, fuck him. He's a cheater. Like, I didn't know anything. I hate you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He cheated on me. And like multiple podcasts too. Even at that. Sorry. I just had to like jump in because this really actually. Hi everyone. Not God coming in. I'm off camera because I don't know. I'm just here for funny commentary. As usual, you know what they say. Go ahead. I'm like. Please do. Brooke.

What? No, no, no. Okay. You know what you did. You know, honestly, I get it. I think talking like I've always said, like being in a toxic relationship is the same thing as a drug addiction. It is so hard to get out of. And I think you're in, you're like still talking. It's fun, Aaron. Here's the thing is what's going to happen right now. I'm predicting it. I'm calling it so hard.

You guys will run your relationship back turbo. No, we won't. I know. Look at your smiling. He won't. That's embarrassing. I think you'll run it back turbo one more time and then it'll be like Armageddon one more time. Here's the problem is I didn't enjoy it the first time. No one does. No, but I think that the trauma bond of it all like sucks you back in. It's like the ocean. It is hard. Like I'm being like lighthearted about it right now, but it's a really bad idea. I know it's bad, but.

I always use this like metaphor as like or of the like messy room like it felt like a messy room when like we broke up it was the most messy breakup you guys possibly imagine like imagine like a divorce with like seven children but it was like so much worse than that like I was so dramatic about it and it felt so huge and horrible to me that it was like I thought I was gonna die like it really did documentary coming soon

I keep making these jokes that I mean, well, that's I what I will say is I commend the shit out of you because you're able from what you went through to be like, yeah, we had a messy breakup. Like if I were in your shoes because in my like Brooke didn't do anything wrong. She's not going to say that like because she wants to fucking FaceTime him in an hour. But like it's all

all him like he was awful and psycho and I just feel so much better getting that off my chest thank you like I just I commend you I commend you a lot for your ability he knows listen I'll say it to talk about it super nice I think that at some point in life there will be a Netflix documentary about him and I have to say that sentence again I'm sorry anyway I want to go to the heiress world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance I'm Marco Wendt and I'm Rick Schwartz

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

$45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes each detail. Here's the thing. It makes me, like, it sounds so stupid. And I know it's like anyone listening is like, Brooke, get the fuck up. Like, get up. Yeah. It's embarrassing. But I do feel like a certain, like, or just like an unsettling feeling about having, like, unresolved issues with anybody. Like, I don't have that with anyone. I agree. I've never had...

I agree with that. But I think that you're like, you can have unresolved issues or resolved issues. It's not like, oh, I'm still so in love with him. I just want to still be with him. No, it's not. It isn't. It really isn't. It's not. We'll see how the, you know, cookie crumbles, how things unfold. Listen, I've seen the other side. I believe in you. And things are looking bright. But here's what I will say is after...

my toxic relationship finally came to an end. I was like, I am never dating anyone in the entertainment industry again. Fuck them singers. Fuck them rappers. Fuck everything. Yeah. What'd you say your type was? You said normies. Yeah. Normies. I was, I was picking the normies. I was picking up the normies and like saving them. Like I was fine. No, I'm kidding. Um, but I ended up dating two really normal guys back to back. And I thought that that was going to be the be all end all cure all for me. Like that. My problem was dating these narcissistic, toxic,

And I'm not saying like in the entertainment industry, like, yeah, 100%. And I met one of them on hinge. The first one.

And Hinge is my favorite thing in the world, I will say. You just deleted them, right? I did, but I got to pick them back up. I deleted them thinking I was really in it with someone else. Why don't we talk about that? We'll talk about that later. Oh, yeah? Yeah. But I just did a B2B Normie situation. Oh, back to B2B. Bitch.

Not B2B normies. And they were both great guys. I really don't have much to say about that. But I'm realizing that there does have to be a happy medium between like a little bit of fun toxicity for me, I think. It sounds horrible. It does. It sounds so horrible. Maybe it's the mental illness in me, but there does have to be a little bit of like spice. Yeah. Like I don't mind a little bit of jealousy. Yeah. Here's the thing. I don't want...

I don't particularly like want another like maybe like serial serial killer but like I wouldn't mind having like someone who gets a little jealous or like gets a little like I

It's like my most recent ex would like call me one time and I wouldn't answer, you know, and then he just like wouldn't text whatever. Like and then I call him later and be like, I called like you were busy, you know, and I'd be like, call me four times. Like, like text me like like text me like just try harder. Make it up. You know, like I don't care if you literally have to make it up. Be like, what are you doing? Like, I just need a little bit of that.

to keep myself interested. You know what I mean? We were just talking about this on the episode that we accidentally had a trash, but like just the idea that like some people have these like completely normal, like functional relationships where they see each other, you know, once and then another time a week later, like it doesn't make sense. At least to me, X number one of two of the normies was like, like that.

Calling them normies, like, I don't think that's going to go over well. Okay, I don't mean normies like, yeah, that is bad, I guess. I've said this on other podcasts. When I say normies, I literally mean they have a normal life with a normal job. I don't mean normies like lesser than. I literally just mean like guys who aren't working in the entertainment industry. Yeah, like, and if anything, that's like a compliment. Like, they're sane and normal and fucking awesome. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

But like Normie number one, Normie number one would literally have to like pencil me in. Like he'd be like, OK, so like next Tuesday at four, let's get coffee. Yeah. And he didn't even have a job like that. You know what I mean? Like he did, but he didn't. He was just like so type A about it. You know what I mean? And I would like lose my fucking mind. I have even friends like that where I'm like, if I if I have to if I text you and you have to say like, yeah, I'll see you Wednesday.

I'm not hanging out with you. And I get that if you're so busy, but I'm like, you're literally my boyfriend. You know what I mean? You're my boyfriend. And like being like come over right now at like 8 p.m. to cuddle would like stress him out. And I'd be like, what do you need? Like, you're my boyfriend. Yeah. Like I need there has to be a bit of I really get that. But it's hard because I don't really have a good reference point for like the normal individual. Yeah. At all. One hundred percent. I just dated a very normal guy and it was great.

great i guess i guess the problem with that one was just that we didn't live in the same city yeah so tana's whole thing this this original normie normie number one he was great so fine whatever he was fine moved across the country oh i didn't even talk about that yeah we like dated one time and we got in a big fight and our big fight was actually about that like him not having enough enrichment time for his enclosure like whole nine oh my god like that

Like I wanted to hang out last minute when I hadn't seen him in like two weeks. First of all, we were never going to work. And then we broke up over our like dumb little fight. He was out of town for like a week and then came home and he was like, I have to go to my house. And I was just like upset and whatever. And then he was mad that I was upset about that. And it was just like a whole thing. And we had plans, by the way, if you're watching this, we had plans and you bailed on them. Stupid. And we tried to get back together. And then he was like, I'm moving across the country. And that was like the whole thing.

Which is just like so offensive, really. To me, it's like he had to have known that. No, and he pulled up on me and was just like, I have great news. And I was like, what? And he was like, my business is expanding to New York. And I was like, how is that great news for me? Long schlong ding dong. Like you were supposed to be like, oh my God, good, good.

Yeah, like super sad about that. For sure. I wanted that like post XX for like a minute. That is a bummer. He was a he was a looker for sure. I don't know if he had a lot going on upstairs, but definitely not giving Golden Retriever. Oh, my God. I'm doing it again. But then the very next one was was Golden Retriever.

Yeah, I guess so. That's kind of why back to back went for two like very, very sweet guys who just like adored me and treated me like a princess. I think that is who you're supposed to be with. I think that they both of those just had like really extenuating circumstances where like they it couldn't work out. That's true. That's the thing is now. So now I'm back in my like kind of single era. Right. And I have a fuck buddy.

And I just, God, I want to leave him a Yelp review. He is, I want to say in my entire life. And if you're watching this, see you later. He is my favorite fuck buddy. I think I've ever had ever, ever. I think that he's a good fuck buddy because his type of demeanor is like not necessarily the guy that I go for to date. Like you were saying that I normally date like a golden retriever ass man. And I feel like I always attract guys like this that think that like what I want in a man is like to

to sass me to like humble me to like banter me or like compete with your personality kind of thing where it's like yeah or just like you know what I mean like banter me until I like die like Jeff the other day said that I like he's like you just love a TikTok boy who's gonna be your puppy like you know what I mean like as in like I do kind of love a boy who's like I fucking

when someone's just like sassing the shit out of me gassing up this man I think you do need like a sweeter like a sweet guy I love a sweetie sweetheart but I was gonna say so my fuck buddy doesn't really possess that so it's like perfect for a fuck buddy cause it's like not what I not what you look for in someone you wanna date yeah but he's gonna see this and I don't mean it that's ideal when you look for somebody you just wanna have sex with you usually look for everything exactly the opposite of someone you would wanna date right yeah but I've never done that I always get in these weird entanglements with my fuck buddies where it's like

Like fuck buddy turns to relationship. You know what I mean? Because I don't know. I don't I don't know my type. I just know like, wait, all of a sudden I like you. But you and I also like love a man. And we always talk about this pool boy, our shared fuck buddy. Wait, I hate when we say that, though. And every time we talk about it, I'm like, we shouldn't hate that. But I don't know why you hate that so much. Sometimes you fuck him. Sometimes I fuck him. I think it's fun. I don't think I but I think that.

the reason that i have such like a hesitance about it is that a word it's because i see the comments where people are like la is such a sus pool like that's so disgusting they hook up with the same guy but like and it is just it is right you are you are correct but you have to if you saw the guy maybe you would feel differently i don't know like no um but i we we both have admitted that we like fucking pool boy because you get to like play house for a night like when he like comes over it's like you guys could like cook dinner you act like you're dating it's like

baby. For reference, we call him pool boy because he's like five years younger than us or like four. He's four years younger than me. He's like two years younger than me.

Okay. Well, he's four years younger than me. So I call him pool boy because it makes me feel young again. I call him pool boy because it's like the convenience of it. Like he's just like cleaning the pool. It's not convenient. Bitch, he lives in Encino. But like, but it's like, I don't know how to explain it. He gives like all of a sudden he's cleaning your pool next minute. He's inside of you. It's just very like, it feels safe. Like there's something like safe about it. He's such a like sweetheart. He's so nice and like,

He's like a husband for a night. Exactly. But that's why I think I always fall for my fuck buddies because like one minute we're like baking a cake and the next minute he's like raw dogging me. And then I'm like, oh, that was sweet. That's a really beautiful story. Yeah, that never happens to me with mine anyway. Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaking of fuck buddies, I want you to can we talk about your most recent situation, please? That was not a fuck buddy. I know. I know. I know. But I feel like we can talk was like a fun part of it. We can talk about it. I so obviously, like I talked about having gone through like literally the world's worst breakup. It was like fucking miserable. I was like not a human. I was I was a shell of a person for like months. And you're really good about like not immediately like.

You know, I've always said get over someone, get under someone else. No, I was like I was I was so traumatized. I could not I couldn't eat, let alone like touch another person. Like I was like, I could I could never. So I need me some of that. My first like the first like moment I was like, you know what? I feel like I'm feeling OK again. Like maybe I'll put myself back out there.

I like had seen this guy. She posted an Instagram story. No, enough. No one's going to know. I know it was like a friend of mine had posted this guy and I was like, he's so like,

He's a good looking guy. I also just want to like let the people know that it's not like your friend posted their barista like he's famous. No, he's not. Don't say that. Listen, I'm trying to talk about him in a way that I can actually talk about him. Okay. People don't. He would love this shit. Anyway.

My roommate posted this guy. She was into him, whatever. And so I was like, you know what? Not into him, but like she was a fan of his. Okay. Like what he does. He's a brilliant tennis player.

And I was like, you know what? He's a really good looking guy. Historically, you guys know me. OK, you guys know I never go for like really good looking guys. And I was like, you know, I'm going to get back on the horse. Like I'm going to go back outside and I'm going to I'm going to talk to this guy. It was shocking to see you kind of be with someone that like the whole world thinks is hot. Do you know what I mean? Like traditionally hot.

You're saying too much. That could be fucking literally anyone. So I was excited about it. I DM Tim. Like, I just thought I was having fun. I was like, oh, this is going to be like a fun thing like for me to do. Yeah. Like he and immediately it just went into like violent sexting. Violent, which is so unlike you. I swear to God, which is that's so if you know me like

As much as I talk about sex and stuff on the podcast, I am a non... Not that I'm non-sexual, but it does not come naturally to me at all. If you saw me during this sex fest I accidentally had for fucking...

three weeks straight. I was literally like phoning a friend like on thesaurus.com, literally like another word for choke. Like, what the fuck do I say? Like, I didn't know what to say. We'd be like out at dinner and you'd like, we'd lose Brooke for 25 minutes. Like she'd just be like, I was like obsessed with this guy. I had never met him. We'd only ever talked over social media. And like, we just started texting and stuff. And I was like, OK, I really like he's so hot. So it's like

literal just like violent sexting I felt like I was in an e-harmony relationship no I'm gonna like literally I would look over at your phone and be like I can't wait to okay

It's so unlike me. It's like, it's funny now to think about because I'm like, wait, what? But I wanted, I wanted what he was offering. You know what I mean? So I had to hold up my end. Yeah. It progressed. And I was just like, I thought it was just that, you know what I mean? You're sexting a guy. It's like, obviously that's a relationship. But at a certain point, it's like we run out of things to talk about. Like you could only sext someone so much before it's like. No. And it was like,

I don't know. It just, it really took the edge off, honestly. And then it like, we just became obsessed with each other. I was like, oh my God. Like it was all of a sudden like, good morning, baby. Like, how's your day? Full love bombs. Full, like a full love bomb situation. And if you know me, that's how you get me. Okay. Love bomb. I love a good love bomb. I'm like fighting it right now. And no, it's the greatest thing in the world to me. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. It like, it was perfect. Yeah.

And mind you, I still have not met this man in person. Yeah. Okay. So this is basically an online relationship that I'm in. She's like walking around being like, my little boyfriend texted me. He was. And we're like, listen to me. I won't speak for him, but I was dating him. Okay. Like I was dating this man. He might not have been dating me back, but like I was like really invested in this situation. I was like,

And then this is my guy. And then what did you do? She did one of my favorite terms. I just want to say this is it's one of my favorite. What's my terms? What is it? You Star Trek for the day. If you go more than you go more than 15 miles, really 25 miles. OK, no, 20 miles. You're Star Trekking for the day. I did. You Star Trek across the country.

And you met for the first time. No. So this man, he travels for work. Like his job, he like moves around a lot. He was like, listen, I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. for Valentine's Day. And I was like, perfect. Like, I love D.C. Never been. Yeah.

I've never been. That Abe Lincoln monument just gets me fucking wet, daddy. Lincoln Memorial set me up. Yeah. He was like, let's spend Valentine's Day. Like, we'll spend a couple days. And I was like, absolutely. Again, I've never met this man. So I literally flew across the country. She was downstairs picking out like puffers and shit. I was like, are you guys? I was, but I was excited. Like, yeah, I mean, we had mutual friends and stuff. I knew he was like a psychopath. He's such a fucking sweetheart. Like, he's a really girthy guy. Stop. Stop.

He was a sweetheart. He was a really nice guy. And he was like, he was just nice. I also think that's weirdly like best case. Like I think Valentine's Day when you're dating someone is so much pressure. You've never met them. Like I have never met this guy. And I was going I was flying to D.C. for Valentine's Day. Like that's actually now thinking back on it. I'm like, that's psycho. But I love it. I go. I loved it. But I went.

And it was amazing. Honestly, we had the best time. She came. She saw. She conquered. We had the best time. He's honestly a nerd. We literally went to the Holocaust Memorial where Lincoln was assassinated. We really did DC like a field trip. And I loved it. This guy's hot. That's not my type. You were just downstairs saying that the fatter your exes would get, the hotter they were to you.

Continue, continue. I did say that. But it's usually off-putting when someone's like really good looking to me and it's like I usually assume their personality sucks or like they're not funny or like something. And this guy, it just it didn't really make sense. Like he's good looking. He's funny.

Like he needed something off about him and he was a nerd. So I was like, that's it. Yeah. Loved it. And we had the best time. It's such a funny day, like Holocaust Museum and then just like rabbit sex. No, stop. You're making this more inappropriate than it has to be.

it was a really good time honestly listen whatever i we had the best time i came back here i saw him when he came back here ultimately we decided like it just wasn't like it literally wasn't gonna work your lifestyles weren't matching up well he like i said he travels a lot for his job and i made like kind of a comment i was like hey like listen it's fine if you're gone all the time but i need you to talk to me more and he's like yeah no i can't i was like okay perfect like

But I will say, I think that it was good for kind of getting you over your relationship. It was exactly like perfect for what it was. It like taught me like, first of all,

lord bless my ex but there's there's better fish in the sea you know it was just it was really exciting for me and honest to god listen i'm still hopeful about it so listen if you're listening to this hey and you feel like calling me you're in a really good story arc right now from where you've been from canceled because obviously the last that people saw you were you kind of tripping over joe oh you know and now you're like besties with his new girlfriend oh my god

love her. We started talking about this on the last episode or like when we tried to film this episode before. Yeah. And

Like that was the very last episode. We didn't know it was going to be the last episode of Canceled, but I talked about Joe and how he had told me like, oh, you know, I found this new girl. Whatever. Amazing. Caught to us accidentally like getting like getting fully canceled episodes over. Like that was the last thing that was ever going to be put out there. And he got a new girlfriend and I immediately got a new boyfriend, but I didn't talk to him. Yeah. Literally the entire time. Like I didn't talk to him from the time Canceled ended until like

Day before yesterday. Really? Yeah. I called him when... Your breakup happened. When my breakup happened just to be like, bro. Like you weren't that bad. You got to hear this. Bless your heart. But this is like my first time really being around him. Love his new girlfriend. Like I actually love his new girlfriend. And if you told me that... Yeah. If you told me that a year ago, like I would have been like, you're fucking delusional. Like I would never... I could never. Can I ask a question? Yes. You and I have both talked about...

how much we love being friends with our exes new things like i love that like my ex is dating someone else and they're my friend it's such a bonus being their friend it's that i like i always try to see what they saw and then i always end up accidentally seeing what they see oh i get what you're saying so like i always end up like accidentally falling in love with the girl yeah it's so you're in love with joe's girlfriend no i love i like her more than him no offense joe

But I do. She's hilarious. She's fucking hilarious. And she like to me, she makes way more sense because I knew that him and I never made sense. Yeah, but it didn't matter to me. I was like, I love him. Yeah. Now it's like, OK, perfect. I was hoping this would be a segue into what you found out. She saw you doing. Oh, fuck you. So.

Just come out and say it. Come on. Tana purposefully got me drunk before this episode because she didn't think I was loose enough in the last one. But I did. I did. OK, so I ran into Joe and his girlfriend at a friend's birthday party like a few months back. I didn't really like like speak to them at all, but I saw them and it was like a fine interaction. Yeah. And I blacked out for obvious reasons. Yeah. Because I was like I was just like trying to feel comfortable. OK, I blacked out and I sucked. Wait, my dad's going to see this.

Can I say it? There's a restaurant here in LA bar and restaurant. And the best way I know how to describe it is like if Texas Roadhouse wasn't a chain restaurant, like if it was just a whole, it's like a hole in the wall version of like a Texas Roadhouse kind of bar thing, bar situation that everyone goes to. It's called Barney's Beanery. Brooke's sub-dick behind a Barney's Beanery. Brooke's sub-dick behind a Barney's Beanery.

It was a major low point in my life. I was really going through a lot and honest to God, I just had to feel something. Like what brought you to like the alley? Pool boy brought me to the alley. Be for real. Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

So you sucked pool boy off behind Barney's Beanery, which is crazy for you. It was just like funny. Like, haha. It was just a bit. You're making me sound horrible. We have to talk about something you've done after this, but that's fine. It was just like an innocent. Okay. First of all, nobody could see us except. No, it wasn't that. It was just like we were just being funny. Like, haha. Like it was like I was going through a breakup. I was going through a really hard time. And sometimes you just need to suck dick in an alley. But we emerged from the shadows.

And the only two people standing outside are Joe and his new girlfriend. And I knew in that moment, I was like, they know. Because I knew Joe knew I hooked up with a cool boy. Yeah. And I was like, I just couldn't look him in the eye. And I never knew for sure. I never, I never like fully validated. Like, I was just like, oh, God, I think they know. Yeah. But then the other day, I was feeling really comfortable with Joe's new girlfriend. I was like, and I, you know what? I was like, I was like, she's my bestie. I'm going to tell her. I'm like, I psyched up behind this Barney's Beanery. And she's like, oh, girl, I saw.

I go, what? Imagine someone like loving the podcast and like walking by and just seeing you. It wasn't like that. Nobody saw it. She didn't see it. Nobody saw it. And she's like, you were walking away. We come back from behind the dumpster or wherever we were. I don't know because I wasn't there. But...

Anyway, tell us a story about you. Honestly, I'm like surprised I've never done that, like specifically in an alley, like behind a place. Pool boy has dragged you out into an alley and I know that you're lying. I have. Bless his heart. He's such an angel, but he's 20, 22. Yeah, he's horny. Super horny. I fucked him in a lot of like public restrooms.

Yeah, I was there the first time. Yeah, that was the turbulent time. That's like Chris Miles will never let that one go. You know, we talked about that already on canceled. Yeah, we did. That was not my brightest judgment. You know what I mean?

um chris is in a new relationship what are your thoughts i actually fucking love it like i fucking ship it which i never thought i would get to a place where i like ship my ex with someone else that's what you feel all of a sudden i feel like it's once you don't care anymore but what's like do you know a lot about her i feel like i don't really know anything about her i'm not like super super close with her but i like know her like pretty well and like

You know what I mean? Just like LA, like party friends type of thing. But she was like, she's always been very nice to me. Like anytime I was like going through sobriety or anything, she's been like so nice to me. Is she sober? I don't know. She's not giving me sober. I have no idea. To be honest with you right now. I just like, they're such a match made, you know, they're, they're perfect for each other. And I ship it. I do, which is kind of wild. I like, I love to watch it. I love. Is it a weird feeling? Like when you're like, I could never see this man with another girl. And then you do. And you're like,

Perfect. People will send me... They posted photos together today and a hell of people were sending them to me. People I know. And I feel like people are wanting to elicit a reaction from me. Like, oh my God, fuck that. And I'm like, yes! I actually thought those were cute. You're stronger than me. If it were my most actual recent ex...

if they were to send me a photo of like him with someone new i think i would actually like kill myself and like leave a note that said like it was his fault i got i got hit with two bombs today like i said i was just kidding i didn't like the look you guys gave each other i got hit with two bombs today i saw my my normie ex that moved to new york with his new girlfriend and like chris is like post with you know whatever double homicide right double homicide and like but

Normie X, like it's like we couldn't be together because we moved across the country and just because we couldn't be together. But like in my head, like, do you know what I mean? Like we couldn't be together because he moved across the country. So I'm like, that's like me and my delusional. Like we couldn't be together because he was so busy. Like really? He probably just didn't want to be 110 percent. Like definitely just. Yeah, I'm living in cotton candy. La la land. But I will live in my delusion until I die. And I don't care. Normie X is it's like, fuck you. You cannot move on. You need to be.

hung up on me for the rest of it. But like, I think when you exhaust something with someone for so long and you know that you can't, like, I know I can't be with him. So why the fuck? It's, I don't want someone to be alone forever. And it's like, I've always said this about my ex to be alone forever. I just, I just know I can't be with him. So it's like,

You know what I mean? Like, I actually am genuinely like happy to see him move on. And Chris, I've always like felt that way about that. It's like, you know, like even when I've broken up and we've been like awful and someone around me like, oh, my God, I like want him to die. He's the worst. I'll be like, no, no, knock on wood. No, Chris is like I very much just like want him to live like a happy, healthy, good life. You know, that is a good thing. I mean, all of us love Chris. It's not like.

anyone like wishes him bad, but I just can't relate to that because I wish my ex is like the worst. I just feel like I'm such a manifester. Like when I wish someone the worst or wish a bad thing, it like happens a lot. And that's true. And I'm lying for no reason. Like I literally like pray for my exes to like do well. Yeah. Do you pray? I can't imagine you praying. I don't pray, but I ask for things like I don't know. I don't know who I'm talking to, but I do. I'm serious. I go to bed every night like

I forgot. I asked her something big last night. I forget what it was. I don't know. But I woke up this morning. My ex was on the Lollapalooza lineup. I'm like, I will kill myself. But that just means we're going to Lollapalooza. So that's kind of a slay. Don't don't be mad at me, but I'm going to piss myself. OK, no, go pee, because then I want to do pop culture and then maybe like a fun little game. I feel like that was a pretty hearty, healthy, safe and sound line.

Love life update from what we've been doing love life wise. I feel like I have accidentally said too much and you have said too little. Really? Yeah. I'm trying to think about anything else I can say. One thing about me being on 75 hard and in my sobriety journey, that's like one thing I've obviously been doing since canceled. I'm almost done with it.

is I don't make as rogue of like fun decisions to talk about on the podcast. Like I think so safe and sound. Yeah. So that's which I kind of hate, but I am trying to pick back up my roster and be a little crazy. And I'm hoping that will make for some great canceled content. Oh, listen, she's going to come back in full force right now. I'm going to carry us. I'm going to carry us home. But I do think.

Obviously, we have a lot more to update the people on, but I think that was like a good little, you know, just some things that we were doing. And I have a bunch of pop culture topics to talk about, which is probably where I'll get myself in the most trouble anyway. Would love to. Should we talk about some pop culture? Mm-hmm. Just for good measure, do we weigh in on Hailey and Selena? I think...

I try to, but then every time I do, I like get canceled like a little. And I'm a little scared of that. You're actually very, very funny about it. Like, you know what I mean, though? Like people try to give you shit. I just, I love playing devil's advocate. I love playing like,

What if you were in that position? And it's not me choosing sides. It's not me like necessarily like deciding like which team I'm on. It's just me being like, listen, if Justin Bieber came to you, I'm talking to you. Yes. Whatever the question is. Yes. And was like, you know what? I don't see anyone else. The only thing I see is you. OK, I love you. I want to get married. What would you do?

I'd marry him. Exactly. That's what Haley Bieber did. The thing is, is I, if you talk to me six months ago,

Like I I'm so like I love Hailey Bieber. I am her biggest fucking fan. And that's why it's been so hard for me, because seeing all of this shit is like very undeniable. Like, I definitely think the eyebrow post like I was talking about, like if you and I hated it, it definitely does feel intentional. If you and I hated a bitch for rightful reasons, I would never do it like that. But I mean, like.

And that bitch was posting her eyebrows. That's some shit I would just like... Yeah. We would think it was funny. Like, let's just post our eyebrows. And just...

just certain things like her like gagging at Taylor Swift on that show I know but I feel like it was like a wild and out like type show but even if it is a wild and out show like there are some just be smarter even if you genuinely fucking feel that way like yeah you can't grow the Taylor Swift that's like the most dangerous thing in the world to do by the way I'm going to Taylor Swift airs this weekend that's also kind of how I feel that it's like even if I felt that like this way like it's like I

You could tell that until this, she felt like she could do all these sly things to Selena under the radar and that her fans would never. She was being like sneaky, like invincible. Internet lives forever. One hundred percent. And it's just obviously Selena. Like she took the high road and she's like a sweet sweetie. I'm like, I understand why everyone is team Selena. I'm like, so am I. You know, I do, too. What I will say is I saw this tweet that was like.

Y'all are so quick to talk about like how mean the media was to Paris and Lindsay and Brittany. And then like it's happening right now before your eyes. And it's like it's just crazy to me because it's exactly what's happening. And it's like it's crazy how much a man can get away with, because in reality, the root of all of this. And I hate to say it. I said one thing on TikTok. I said one fucking thing. I made a video like.

If Justin wasn't defending me and I was Haley, I would fuck his brother. And I stand by that. I would like if I was Haley in that situation, I would have had been gone. But like I made this one TikTok and it made all these like Snapchat headlines. And it was like my worst fear because I'm such a fucking diehard Justin Bieber fan. But it is like it's it's imagine being his wife and like people are going on stage or you're going on stage and people are chanting like fuck Haley Bieber in the audience. And he's like.

That's what I'm saying. He's almost like eating it up. Like, I think she is finally getting karma for maybe a lot of the little like sly things that have gone on over the years. But I think at the same time,

The media and people are just taking it way too fucking far, but it all does. Like my point of this is like it all does like this is all Justin's fault as much as I hate to say. And if everything that everybody is assuming is true, which is like the whole narrative is like, you know, he doesn't even like her and he's just with her to like make Selena jealous or like whatever it is. Imagine how sad that really if it is true, how sad it is and how horrible you're being like.

I said this like last time we tried to film this episode, but like if Haley were like, if something were to happen to her, she would like kill herself or something like something horrible, which is what happens when you bully, like when tens of millions of people bully someone on the Internet. God knows what would happen. So I just feel like that's the only reason that I ever defend her online is because it's like, why? Like not we do not know these people. And it is just so crazy to me that like the entire narrative is Haley or Selena and not like Justin juggled them like juggling them.

balls. Literally juggling. But he was juggling those balls. And that's kind of where it is. Like, yeah, nobody has ever said a word about him. Like he might have done something wrong. And as the woman in that situation, I would be even more sick. I would be like, fuck you. You did this. I couldn't imagine like me personally, like if I were with somebody and I'm so in love with this person, but like the entire world, like literally hundreds of millions of people are so attached to his previous relationship.

I would have already been gone. I'm so sorry. Like I couldn't have handled that. No, that within itself is like so hard. Like all the edits and all that would have been so hard for me. And then like the opposite of that would be to be Selena and to have all those people invested in my previous relationship that I'm trying to get over and the world can't like it's so hard for both of them. And so I feel bad. Like I feel equally horrible for like Selena and Haley and not bad for Justin at all. No offense, but like

Yeah. And you'd think that if he was just like chilling like that, it would be like the appropriate time to kind of stand up for your lady. Get the fuck up, Justin, and say something. Oh, my God. I can't see. That's a problem is that I am such a believer that like he could actually like I like to kill someone and I would be like they they had to go. I like him, too. But I felt like if I mean, it's really it's horrible. Both of them like they're victims like alleviate them. You know what I mean? Like do something.

Crazy. For sure. I don't know. Speaking of horrible relationships. Uh-oh. Tyga. You don't get it.

Oh, no. I don't know how to tread lightly here. It doesn't make any sense to me. I wonder what they talk about. Like, what do Avril and Tyga talk about? What? I want her to be happy. If you're happy. What do they talk about? That I feel like my opinion is very skewed on Tyga. Like, I'm trying to think of him how like the public thinks of him. I haven't had like a bad experience with Tyga, but it's just like, who hasn't dated Tyga? Like, Avril's an icon. Avril needs to date like

an icon. I've never seen a couple where I so much am like, what? Like, where did that come from? That's like if the Pope stepped out dating like Summer Rae. That's how I feel. Like, it makes no sense. Oh my God. Oh my God. Like, just Tara's world and Joe Biden. That's a good fit, to be honest. The other day, I was eating at Catch Steak and...

I'm sitting there at like a business dinner and I'm like no makeup on to like looking beat, which just made it so much worse. And they walk in and of course, like Avril and Tyga walk in. And of course, I'm like making it all about me. I'm like, this is so weird. Like what's going on? Like, this is so weird. They were just like sitting like far from each other at this table. Like, I don't really feel like I like...

like texting Daily Mail like looks like they don't even like you daily. Well, what I was going to say was Daily Mail was already texted. I walked outside and there was some paparazzi and I was talking about this today that like every celebrity, you know, calls the paparazzi on themselves. And I feel like it is like a 60 40 situation where it's like sometimes 60 percent of the time. Yeah. 60 percent of the time it's organic. It's

The paparazzi caught them. They're outside. It's a it's a hotspot restaurant. There's always paparazzi outside for no reason as well. You also don't go to catch steak if you don't think the paparazzi are going to 100 percent catch restaurant at all. And then I worked there. The other 40 percent of paparazzi is very much like the PR machine working and you call them. And because I obviously have done paparazzi.

so much of both in my life, maybe a little more of the calling. I love the self-awareness. Over time, I've made such good friends with a lot of these paparazzis and I love it because I love the fucking tea and I love the gossip and they know more than fucking anyone because especially the shit they can't put out and who calls them and so on and so forth. And there are certain paparazzis that are like,

bouncing around like genuinely they get the 95% of their shots because they just go to places and people are there. And then there's the other paparazzi who like aren't lifting a finger leaving their house until someone gives them a tip and they know they're getting the shot because they're like a little more

Do you know what I mean? Like they make more money. They're a little more esteemed that they just like they're not they're not just waiting. You know what I mean? And I was really close for a long time with one of those paparazzis. Like him and I were like this, like not only would he like take my photos and whatever, but like he would tell me every celebrity who called them at every moment of the day. And it was so fucking interesting and awesome. I love that. And I walked outside and I saw him and he like took some photos of me. And then I give him a hug and he was like, you know what I'm waiting for? And it was just like super funny because I was like...

Did they call them? That's the assumption. All signs point to that. Buenos Dias World from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What I will say, not to defend, but I was a catcher.

There are people at catch who will call. Oh, yeah. Like the workers will call. There is someone whose job who's like actual job is to it's like celebrity relations and like you want to make it look like celebrities are coming. So you. Yes. Like call them. Yeah. That makes sense. Like PR for the restaurant. But it's way more exciting to think that Tyga called this guy. I know this guy. You know what I mean? And I just I don't know. But I mean,

I feel like the relationship, in my opinion, has to be for press. They have to either be doing a song or like something just doesn't make sense about it. At all to me. The Selena Gomez, like Drew Taggart, like when that relationship was like coming about, I'm like, there's just no way. Yeah. That's like almost the same way I feel. This to me feels a little weirder. Selena Gomez and Chainsmoker Boy make way more sense to me. That's what I'm saying. Like that was like a little bit more normal, but still I think Selena Gomez is like,

Yeah. Like she should date like the Pope. Yeah, literally. Let's talk about Mod Sun for a second here. We accidentally skipped over that one. What do we think happened there? Do you think that she maybe threw him a curveball? Was it like a mutual disagreement that they had and they separated? What do you know? What insight do you have? I really don't know what happened between the two of them. Okay, Obama. What the fuck?

I literally was laying here a day ago and Monson was on FaceTime. Tell me what you know, bitch. Oh my God. I can't look back at the camera. I do. No,

She tried to listen. Tell us what you know. Listen, this is not going to do that because what I can say, Madsen, we love you. Yeah, we're on really cool, fun, fresh terms. And I love that. The only time I saw Madsen in the entire time after we broke up, I always say this. He's the only person I've ever dated for like a fucking year broken up with and then never saw them again.

Like just like we we actually like, you know what I mean? Like clean, cold cut, which I think the only time I ever saw him was like two years after we broke up in New York City. And I walk up to him and I'm like, karma is a great fucking song. Like I'm ready to go off on him. He looks at me and he goes, you got bangs. And I go, I what? Like after two years, that's all you're going to fuck.

say to me is you got bangs. It became an entire bit in my life. Like whenever like someone has so much to say and they just don't say anything, it's you got bangs. Like it's actually it'll always blow my mind that he is inspirational for that. Honest to God, because I could never even if I didn't give a fuck about a person like you think I'm going to go my whole life without talking to them again. Yeah. So it's nice.

You know, to like be cool. He was one of my favorite exes of yours. I thought he was a really good, healthy relationship. Or at least from what I saw, you and I weren't super close at that time. Like that was like right in the beginning of our like real friendship. So I don't have a lot to say about it. But I was like...

like shocked when you guys broke up. I was like, wait, what? Yeah, I was. It definitely like happened very quick. Like we were just I was saying this the other day. I was like, we were so angry. And like now I don't even know why. And it's funny. I actually will share a fun story like I. So he wrote that song Karma about me, which I hope you choke.

Which everyone in my life, it's so funny. Like song eats. If anyone's mad at me in my life, they're posting karma on their story. Like it is just a universal like. I did it. I did it. And I'm so excited to see what April. I'm so fucking excited. I'm sorry. Oh, she's probably going to get like a karma album. But I feel like he'll be more. No offense. Like not that you're like a really polarizing figure, but I feel like he can't.

So much of his fan base is in overlap that I don't think he can be as dangerous about. That was a bad song, though. He literally said, I hope your new man gives you something that you can't get rid of. Which is just crazy. It's actually crazy. I got a song called Go Fuck Yourself. But I will just say the mean songs, they hit way better than the... I was just happy to get a song, but honestly...

he wrote so many nice, sweet songs about me. And like that, that one is the one that like definitely sticks out after we broke up for some reason, I was in a really dark place as we were breaking up as well. Like I just, I've talked about it. I just, I was, you know, substances and me were fucking best friends and I was just not in the best place. And after we broke up for some reason, I just really didn't remember like a lot of the things I did. And he wrote karma and I was just like,

who me? Like, why would you write this song about little me? What did I do wrong? And I love living in delusion. He told me that one of the last times that he saw me pick me up from my house and I get in his car and I'm like faded as fuck. And I'll just like bleep the name, I guess, because I've said I fuck this person like before. So it doesn't really matter. But I get in his car and he's like, I want to fix this. Like,

tell me what I can do like or whatever like let's how do we talk about this and I look him dead in the eyes and I go I just fucked an hour ago it was more

Why would I say that to like, no wonder he wrote that song. Like I have no recollection of this. I would have written that song about you if I had any talent at all. Like, are you kidding me? Like I have no recollection of this and I'm just finding out all these little like breadcrumbs of things I did. And I'm like, you should have wrote meaner shit. Like I'm out here living in delusion world. Like that. I did nothing fucking wrong during this breakup. That's fucking crazy. That's hilarious. Honestly, karma wasn't even that bad.

You know, it's a banger. And apparently in New York City, the only time I saw him when he walked up to me and said, and said, you got bangs. When we went for... I was only talking. I was talking to you. Like he walked up to me just no wonder. He was like, you got bangs. Listen to me. If nothing else comes of this episode, this is a formal apology to Joe. Let me tag on to that and Chris. After having been in a relationship where somebody actually did just do so many wrong things.

I feel like Joe didn't do anything wrong. He was nothing but on. He was just honest. He was like, listen, I don't want to be with you. I was like, how dare you? It's but it's so easy to like villainize the shit out of someone. Well, you know, he was nothing but he was just honest. Like he was he always just told me, like, listen, this is like this is not. Yeah, that's not the vibe. And I was like,

You don't mean that. He meant that, first of all. And second of all, after that, I ended up with somebody who just lied so much about everything. Any more pop culture? Let's see. People are saying that this is finally the official downfall of the Kardashians.

Like how they're not invited to the mess and like whatever. There's just no such thing. Even if we wanted it to happen, it wouldn't happen. I personally don't want it to happen because they entertain me. Amanda Bynes just got 5150 holded. 5150 holded. Amanda Bynes. Listen Amanda, it happens to the best of us, okay? She was like walking naked down like downtown LA, I think. But she asked for help herself, I think. Yeah. Or she's the one who called, which is amazing. And it makes me sad because she was such like an integral like, or like,

an important part at least of my like childhood. Absolutely. She was my idol and it makes me sad. You have to wonder like what happened. 100% I think it does just like attest to

All the fucked up shit that happens to like child stars. But do you know what bothers me so much that I saw on Twitter? Because I was obviously researching these topics before I wrote them down. And I was I saw this tweet that had like 100,000 retweets. And it was like all these photos of her like looking so good. And like, you know what I mean? Just like in her like prime acting like hot girl era. And it was like, what did you guys do to Amanda Bynes? Like she was so fine then. And it's like I see this all the time. Even like how Cara Delevingne was just like kind of

being wild. People saw her spotted looking a little crazy, acting a little crazy. And then like...

eight months later she was at the vanity fair thing like looking just like just recently this past like couple weekends ago she looks amazing she looked amazing and all the comments are like great to see her healthy again and it's so it's like why are you not on her side when she's doing that like that sucks well and people just like so equate in hollywood like if a woman looks good she's doing good do you know what i mean like if amanda vines like looked fine right now like people wouldn't do you know what i mean i mean i guess it seemingly correlates but it doesn't

really makes sense a lot of times i feel like when somebody's like really thin and they look amazing that's like when they're at their worst like especially people with like drug issues and stuff because it's like like it's such a wild thing to me that people have just always done that like oh she's she looks so amazing glad to see she's doing better like that's that doesn't mean that like she could still be like in a dark ass place you know what i mean yeah i don't know

I don't know. I hope she's okay. Amanda, we love you. Yeah, I do love her so much. And I'm sad about that. Lindsay Lohan's pregnant. There's nothing like I wish there was more. I want to know more. I want to see the kid now. Wait, who's her baby daddy? Who is her baby daddy? We've never even thought about that. Yeah, it's like just this dude. Doesn't really matter. It's Lindsay Lohan's kid. That's true. We think Megan and MGK are broken up.

For sure, right? I think they should be. You do? That's my personal opinion. Why? I get scared to be controversial because we have Hunter and people who tie us to these people a little bit. Not that I think that MGK is a bad person or anything, but I see some toxic vibes between the two of them. I don't really feel like that's a healthy relationship, in my opinion.

And see, I love it. I romanticize the shit out of it. Do I love a healthy relationship? No. Like, I want them to be. Megan, do what you want. I want them to be together forever. I romanticize the shit out of it, you know? Yeah. It's so bad. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Bad Bunny's ex bitch is suing him for $40 million because she said Bad Bunny and he put it on a song. Baby or whatever. Yeah. Which is crazy. Honestly, he's got 40 million to spare. Tiger Woods' girlfriend is also suing him. Or like, I don't know if it's his girlfriend or fiance. Is it the same one he like? Dude, you know, Tiger Woods' wife is like the richest woman literally like ever because of her divorce. Which is so goaded. She collected like, what, a hundred something mil in the divorce. Because she took like half of him, right?

She's brilliant. I would too. See, I always like think, oh, I would never take money from a guy if he cheated on me dozens, hundreds of times. I'm taking everything. I'll take all of it. I'm taking all of it no matter what. Any way I can get, you know what I mean? Work smarter, not harder, right? I think that about myself, but then I think about like what guys have done to me and I'm like, no, like he's so funny. No, I feel like honestly, I could see a guy cheating on you and like right now, if you could take half of

This man's not like I could never yeah, I wouldn't have taken top of no she's just nothing is still nothing goes to suck his dick behind a Barney's Beanery Who's Mackenzie Scott? Oh, she also took millions of him. She the one how much did she get? Oh, yeah, she's lit these bitches should start a club like a book club But they all just sit around and count their motherfucking. I just might be most inspirational thing I've ever fucking how do you even like I?

Like, did she have it in her account? Like, how do you even how do you get that? All right. What I want to know is like, how is Jeff Bezos not smart enough to like be like this? If I cheat on you, because at the time that they got married, she was making significantly more money than him.

That's why. So the prenup, I think if I'm not mistaken, I think the prenup that they signed was like she. This is what I'm saying. Believe in the poor boy. She at the time was making like significantly more money than him. So like when once Amazon took off and stuff it like the prenup still applied or like whatever it was. Oh my God. So ladies got half of his out there. If you're with

If you're with the Pogue. But she was way more successful than him. She believed in him. That's crazy. And she helped him. It's not like she like did nothing. She really like Amazon took off because of her because she's a woman and he could have never done it on his own. That's enough on pop culture. Honestly, I feel like I so I have a really rogue segment idea.

Okay. And I tweeted today asking people... Wait, wait, wait. He didn't have a prenup. Yeah, so he didn't have a prenup because right at the time she was making more money. They both are so ugly. Omari. $136 billion. Oh.

Never mind. 136 billion. Nobody's ugly with 136 billion. So sexy and crazy. And first of all, ugly. I'm like, my ears perk up. I'm like, ugly. So today I tweeted and was like, what kind of segments do you want to see on the canceled podcast? And they just want to see the canceled podcast. The top tweet back was like, isn't it always you and Brooke? Like, what kind of segment do you mean? Like, we just want the podcast. And I was like, all right. Okay. So,

I left the segment making into my own hands. Right. Oh, good. And I my favorite tick tocker right now, by far, like by a landslide. Octopussy. Octopus lover. Oh, that too, though. Pussy PSA. He is the funniest person on fucking tick tock. If you guys don't know, he basically does these bits where people will be like, act like Amelia Earhart getting lost. You know what I mean? And then he'll have to sit there and like.

modern day of fi Amelia Earhart getting lost in wherever she got like I'm educated enough on him it is he'll be like like he did he just did one that was like be the fifth president that didn't make it on to Mount Rushmore and then he's like on the phone and he's like are you kidding me like it's just it's so fucking funny I can't do it justice go watch him I'm his biggest fan but it inspired me

because one night in Miami, Paige and I were high as fuck and he made this TikTok about like the Trojan horse. And do you know what the Trojan horse was? Okay, I'm going to explain this to you in the best way I possibly can. Like a bunch of people wanting to attack another group of people.

And so this one guy was like, okay, we like imagine it was like inside of something like the Met Gala. Okay. Like these people wanted to attack people inside of the Met Gala. You know what I mean? So they all got in this giant statue that was like a horse and they were all like hiding inside with their like guns and their knives. And then they got inside and they got out of the horse statue and this is like a real thing in history.

Which is fucking crazy to me. It's like a decoy. And I've been realizing through Octopus Lovers TikToks that I don't really know a lot about history. And I think it could be fun today if Amari read things to us and we took our best stab at what we think they are. I just brushed up on all my history in Washington, D.C. She brushed up on a lot of things. She was brushing and ushing and blushing and

So this is Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Cancelled Edition, which I can't wait. Hello, ladies and genitals. We are gathered here today. I'm just kidding. Okay, so yeah, I have like, I think like 10 to 15 historical questions. I'm honestly very, very, for a second I was like, do I just like switch these out and make them just like...

He said racially motivated. He said, imagine if I was like, when was slavery abolished? I'm like, what was Martin Luther's last name? Columbus set sail from Spain on what three ships? Bonus in what year? The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria. No!

No way! What year, babe? 17... 1492. 18... I almost said 1942. 1874. No, but you were right with the ships. You were right with the year. Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492. The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, bitch. That's crazy. Why did the U.S. join World War II? Okay, come on. They were mad? Because... Well, obviously. Because of the... They discovered...

Poland invaded the Hiroshima. And what does invaded even mean? The attack on Pearl Harbor, babe. No, I knew that. Why was everyone so mad about this tea? Like, why was everyone so mad about... That was a joke, by the way. The attack on Pearl Harbor? So, like, the U.S. was mad about the attack on Pearl Harbor, which was...

Hawaii? Hawaii? Because they were taxing tea. Your favorite place to literally travel to. The Pearl Harbor happened in Hawaii? Yes! If gun tats were in Boston, Massachusetts. You know, in high school, I marched in the Pearl Harbor parade. My dance team danced in it too. I had pom-poms and everything. I was such a slick. So the U.S. started a whole war over some spilled tea? What did you hope? The U.S. started a whole war if your house got attacked? I thought it was something...

What? Okay. So the war was on Japan and then the US was like, we're mad too. And then we did the internment camps. So the Pearl Harbor was Japan attacking us. Okay. We're kidding. Come on, come on. This one. We knew this. Who was the second president of the United States? But please, please, even if you get your guess, please give me a fair chance. Please. Okay.

problem is is i can sit down and make you an mla formatted 30 page powerpoint on every single thing that has happened date and time on justin and selena and i don't know the second motherfucking president who's the second president you're googling it i know you're because you're a cheater liar i was never gonna guess john adam benjamin franklin was never a president right no he was but who invented light bulb who was the second president um

John Adams. She said it. Oh, John Adams? Yeah. I was never going to guess that, though. I Googled it. That sounds so fake. I Googled it, and he's not on it. Sounds like an apple juice brand. If he's not on a bill, I don't give a fuck. Like, John Adams apple juice. If he's not on a bill, I don't give a fuck. Babe, Barack's not on a bill. I love you, Barack. That was our sexiest president for real. For sure. Okay, okay. I would do any...

Michelle can hear you. The Statue of Liberty was a gift to the United States from which country? France! Is France a country? And what's it made of? What's it made of? Ceramic. She's like, French fries! What's it made of? Copper, bitch. That's why it oxidizes. It was gold, or it was bronze when it got there. And it turned green? Yeah, because it oxidizes. You're telling me no one painted the Statue of Liberty green? No, it oxidizes because of the water.

And like the moisture. Like what happens to like a... You'd think it'd be like ombre then. Well, over the course of like a lot of years. No, no, yeah. Okay. Who was the most famous conductor for the Underground Railroad? Harriet Tubman. Was that it? Yes. Yay! She's like, who? What? Where did the pilgrims land? They landed? Ellis Island. I'm like, I'm Steve Island.

The pilgrims land. What does that mean? Were they like coming from space? Were they skydiving? No, I know this. Wait, I don't. Can we talk about the landing more? Where did they land? The pilgrims obviously traveled like on a boat. Where did they get off their boat at? Can we say the ocean blew?

Something for me and you. What? Where does it go? Was it in America? I'm like Tampa, Florida. I hate looking at you, but I think we're going to have to cut this whole segment. Don't think city. Don't think like anything like that. There's just like a name. North Pole. Historical. Oh, you sound north. Plymouth Rock. No one was in the city.

That's made up. Pilgrims, y'all hear this? Wait, I hate looking stupid. I really don't like this segment. You can tell me that mountain right there is Plymouth Rock and I'd be like, cool. It's in Massachusetts. And that's what I've always said. Oh, you're so validating to the Massachusettsians. How many U.S. presidents have there been? At least it was Plymouth Rock.

Sorry. I'm sorry. You like tell me it's a music genre. You're like, yeah, there's punk rock, clippin' rock. That's what MDK is. Oh my God. Wait, my favorite headliner at Coachella is a part of that genre. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. What's next? How many US presidents have there been? My guess was 53. I said 52. 53? Want to guess again? No. Should we? Is it right there? They're like 54? No, guess lower. Under 50. Under 50?

under 49. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. See, no, no, no. And I've always said this Mandela effect. I've been alive. Like Obama. I fucked George Washington. Obama was our 50th president. No. The Louisiana purchase was a deal between the United States and which country? Louisiana.

I'm just kidding. Wait, the Louis. France. Yes. I was just there. I know you were guessing. I was just guessing. France was a country a second ago. Right. Right. That's fair. I still don't know. Wait, I just feel like France is so giving and taking. Like they were like, oh my God, we give you a statue. Can we have Louisiana? France is so verse. What kind of taxes collected on the money people earn? Income tax. Thank you. I was like, come on, come on. Let's be real. Don't you feel like that's saying like wet water?

income tax like it's like the same thing yes but it makes it like that it's like dumbed down that much so it's like if you okay but i thought about it okay latitude versus longitude okay yeah just latitude versus longitude like what which one is which latitude longitude swear to god yeah i'm just not even gonna get into how little i know about that because it's just sad what's vice versa

Really? Latitude's horizontal. How do you know? You don't know where's north. Ladder. But how do you know that I wasn't pointing north? I didn't invent them, babe. But how do you know that this wasn't like... Because you go latitude. No, but this is the equator to me. Wait, what's the equator to you? The equator goes this way. It's at zero degrees. I know, but I'm saying north is this way. What?

The bitch is like, what's with the Rubik's Cube? I was like talking to him, you know? Do you think latitude and longitude are just for like people who want to like... People who want to sound smart. Stop. Next. Okay, give me a month. Next time you're like a private jet, you're like... What's the longitude there? Three branches of government. Judicial, uh, legislate.

Executive Tall Grande Venti Executive Judicial Legislative Sly What is the name of the most famous pyramids? Why do I want to say Giza? Yep Second option was Gyoza Wait you guys should really You guys should really look at Joe Rogan talks a lot about the pyramids But it's actually so interesting Like if you think about like timing and stuff Do you know that That's the type of shit I would say to a guy To get him to fuck me Yeah Cleo

you know that Cleopatra was closer or she her like in age she was closer to the invention of the iPhone than she was the building of the pyramids wow

one bad bitch it feels like they just made a pyramid and put Cleopatra in there that's what it feels like to me I don't know anything about our girl Cleopatra justice for Cleopatra in which town was Jesus born Bethlehem and I've always said that I love God I just love God I'm a God girl I got in trouble on our hot ones video because I said I didn't believe in God you got in trouble for that? I believe in God well they were like I respect Tana so much more Brooke not so much

I was like, I just really give at the off chance that there is a God. I need to be like on his team. Listen, I'm on his team. I still talk to him. I just don't know. I just don't know for sure. Last question. Honestly, I wouldn't know this one either. How do you know? We don't know it.

don't say either i just have a an inkling little miss fucking latitude longitude over there i had it right you just weren't calibrated right okay compass rose um what city was the first capital of the united states the philadelphia i'm just kidding that was right

Shut the fuck up. How? You know what we need for canceled? You know what we need? This is when I say canceled 2.0. I mean, the only thing that's going to change is I'm ordering confetti cannons. Imagine right now.

Right now confetti came from the ceiling. There's no way Philadelphia was right. I'm ordering so much confetti. I knew it. I knew it because I'm fucking brilliant. Wait, I'm really confused. She learned that in DC when she was hopping around latitude longitude on the dick. I was latitude longituding all over that. Okay, let's... Compass hosing, if anything. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in to the first episode of season two of Canceled. We hope you learned something about history and something about...

How not to act. I think we should make that a segment on every episode so that we can learn. I'm kind of loving it. We could be really smart by the end of it. And I want to educate some people. You know what I mean? Louisiana Purchase and all. Thank you guys for tuning in. Let us know in the comments below if you do one fucking thing. A guest that you want us to have.

on the next season of canceled the more canceled the better the more ingenuitive the better like I want some fucked up the sexier the better honestly 110% like I know y'all want Trisha Paytas I know y'all want Ethan Klein I know y'all want Jeff I know I know the people you want but get get spunky with the request because we're really trying like I'm trying to have the second president on John Adams thank you guys so much for tuning in we'll talk to you soon stay canceled

Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.