25: Episode 25: Mike Majlak on Addiction, Fame and Anxiety
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And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can't do. Don't remember doing this at all. I can only hold myself accountable. Can't do. I object! I object!

Look how good my life is. So what else? Cancel me. Fan emoji is cancelled. Hello and welcome back to another episode of Impulsive. Hi, Wiz. Ah, me too. Today we have a guest. We couldn't get Logan Paul, guys. We tried. I'm serious. We tried so hard. He's my dream guest. One of my favorite people. Icon, pussy slayer. Adam Sandler lookalike. Sober king, impulsive host, Mike Malak himself. Hey, guys. Hello, Mike Malak.

Hey, it's funny because everyone in impulsive claps like with you guys when you clap. Yeah. Well, two people clapping is enough. I got to say this right off the bat. Your set is probably like as far as YouTube based podcasts are concerned, this is the best set. Hands down. Thank you. Like, dude, like these little cutouts. Tana Mongeau loves Mongeau. Mike Madge Black. Tana Mongeau goes to catch. Yeah, if you really read them, they're very funny. Brooke wrote them all.

Just so you know, they're like super, super funny. Yeah. And you also have a really good, she also has a really good green room. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a back deck, like a, almost like a college, uh, where beer pong would be played. Yeah. Get a beer pong table for the back deck. That would be iconic. It was nice. I sat out there and watched the episode before this one. And, uh,

Me and David were just sitting there. And the only thing you guys do the whole time is look at that screen. And so I want to, so just for people watching this, so you guys know, there's a monitor that shows all the different angles. I already talked to Paige, Tana's assistant about this. And she said, Tana will not, will not turn that television off under any circumstance. And Tana, I come here today to ask you,

Will you turn that monitor off? Fuck no. Listen to me. Listen to me. It's a distraction for you. I promise you, if you look here and at the guest, it'll produce a much better product than you giving a fuck what... You look beautiful, Tana. Thank you. Always.

- Look at Mr. Impulsive coming on. He's got 300 episodes under his belt and he's like, "Listen bitch, this is what you're gonna do." - To be fair, Mike, I blew up for being a narcissist. I have stared at the viewfinder from video one to video 500. I think if you are watching the canceled podcast and you want someone to look in the fucking camera, go watch Impulsive.

And I'm just so cute and gorgeous. I can't help it. Hi guys. I'll look in the camera. I'll try to look in the camera this episode. Is that a good middle ground? No, it's fine. Do whatever you want. I just wanted to fuck with you. I also want to apologize to your audience because I really, I know I always look like a slob. Well, that too. But I always look like a slob, but especially today I was hiking like literally right before this show. I love hiking. It was great.

Is there a story there? No, I just love lying for no reason. And just the idea of like how you guys used to kind of... You guys almost had like a little beef, a little podcast to podcast beef. So the idea of you just being like, I need water and her being like, I love water. Water's my favorite. Trying to like get along with you so hard. Hey, you know, like beefs happen, especially I think that...

was like a microcosm of most beefs in the world because it was meaningless. It was based on miscommunication. It was. And a lot of people, I was going to say that, a lot of people think I just blatantly lied in this situation and we cleared it up and it was like, why'd Brooke lie? But it's like, I wholeheartedly believed what I was saying and then as soon as I got my facts straight, I was like, fuck. I try very...

hard, diligently, whatever you want to say to make sure that the stuff that I say is like accurate.

accurate oh so you're not here because I want to break that and by the way you guys crush it and you guys I love that that style you guys weave a storyline you get people enthralled and it Tana's what's Tana doing today who's she fucking you know she back with her ex like all that stuff it's just a different vibe from what you know what you guys do what you guys practice for sure what I do Logan definitely like with his different you know pursuits with with the wrestling now I get it there is a storyline there Logan Paul can't lie for fun we can't

We get less viewers now. Yeah, I'm fine with that statement. Yeah, I feel like it's more important. Honesty is more important for you guys. Not that we're just dishonest out here. We're just exaggerative and we don't fact check. That's the thing. Correct, correct. We're dramatic as fuck. But that's kind of... It's like watch two dramatic bitches discuss LA. That's kind of the premise of the whole podcast. And I love that. By the way, we've gone in and out of our times exposing ourselves and exploiting our sex lives for content. Yeah. And it used to be a ton of fun, but recently I...

He always told me, he always thought it was, Logan always thought it was funny that I would just like talk about anything. And lately I found myself kind of like pulling back a little bit. 'Cause I have stories that like involve people with your crew even. - Yeah. - That I just don't even. - Oh, I want one here. Can you give one here? - I feel like there's gonna come a time where both of us just regret this so heavily. - That's what he always told me. - Like what can you do, take it back? No. - I understand for you. I've been doing this since the womb. Like I would have to regret my whole life. You know what I mean?

Which you might at some point. I noticed that with you recently though because I've been watching The Night Shift for like two years now. I watch your every episode. I was on The Night Shift very early but I've been watching it like since the jump and I tune in weekly. I'm not kidding. And I noticed lately you've been trying to have more like long form meaningful content in your vlogs and I love that for you. I seriously can't relate at all but I love that.

there for you? I think we all have. I think like whether it's me, whether it's George, obviously Logan has really just continued to move towards the mainstream with the boxing, with the wrestling and with, you know, all of his... And Prime, of course. And all of his business pursuits. But I think like at the very least, George and I in our content have wanted to start to really infuse more of that value. Obviously...

Well, George has always been meaningful. He does. You were awful. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Your growth is incredible, though. I think that you take criticism very well as well. Like, I feel like in the early days of Impulsive, like, comments would be, like, a little less Team Mike. And now they... I was telling Brooke today, like, we were talking about this, like, just to not let the comments, like, define you. But, you know, use them as constructive criticism, but not let it define your self-worth. And I think you're really good at that. I was even just thinking about that with you guys' little scandal. I like someone who can...

kind of fake beef and fuck around for the internet and play but it's not too serious to them and i'm like i felt like that was like no it was 100 real i would never i wouldn't have a fake thing about it was like i would never i would never or even exaggerate it i i i'm a person that steers clear of conflict always and because i want to be a person that others well i tried to but i want to be a person that other people look at and say okay if if we are going to look at this guy like

make no mistake, no matter what we do in our lives or how we try to make believe we're not role models, we have by way of our platforms elevated to a place where we have influence over people. And like, we have to accept that, that responsibility. Right. And so I have tried to personally steer away from a conflict because I think it's a good example to other people that conflict is not how it is not, it does not, it's not productive and does not lead to great. I'm like, la la la la.

That's what I meant to say to her yesterday. She's like asking me like, we have to talk about this. And I'm like, I don't want to talk about that anymore. I want it's just problematic for no reason. And she's like, Brooke, you have to like, and I find myself like one for Josh Richards. One time. My God, come on.

No, I think that's bad. I have always kind of lived and thrived in chaos. So for me, being the most authentic to my brand is being chaotic. I agree with you. Beginning of my career to now, I definitely hold a higher standard to myself of, okay, regardless of if you say you want to be a role model or not, you are. Yeah, facts. It's just what you have to accept. So I try to be better, you know, but I definitely am a very chaotic individual and it's hard for me to steer. Well, it's also like, it's also low hanging fruit and it's, and especially as it pertains to the internet. And I'm like, yeah, it's,

And I get that. She's hungry. I get that. It's very easy to grab that stuff. And like, I've been, you know, invited into many beefs in my career and had a lot of different choose your own adventures as to how I could navigate each one of those. And generally speaking, I've always tried to like take the higher road. I don't relate to you. But I'm also old. Like you think, can you imagine if I was ever your age on the internet? I would be in prison. 100% like...

Absolutely no questions asked. 37. I'm an old man. You're 37? Yeah, I'm an old man. Don't say it like that. No, you can. I'm a transparent. I'm 30. Guys, ready for this? 37, you have so many years left. I'm 37. My hair is thinning rapidly. Not that rapidly. I supplement my testosterone with testosterone treatment. Fair. I'm not very good at maintaining a relationship with one woman. Is that an old person thing?

No, but I'm just giving him everything. I used to smoke. He's like, I fuck bitches. He's just laying it out on the table. Because that's the thing about me. Like, I don't want to hide anything. I have absolutely nothing to hide. And I think that the new direction of creator, I would love it to be transparency and authenticity across the board. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I do. I think that's what I will say. As much as you want to be down on yourself, I feel like you are very, like, lay it all out. This is who I am. Sorry if you hate it. Sometimes it's a little much, but I mean, definitely transparent. I know. The problem with that is, like we said, you can't really pull that back. So it's like you say too much now and you might not want people to know that later. And it's like, what do you do about that? That was a big concern for me. I'm just digging a hole so deep I'll never get out. Let's be real. But here's what you'll learn to do, Dana. You'll learn how to...

take it and provide it as a lesson to the viewer. Do you know what I'm saying? And give them a takeaway from it. So like, so like when I wrote the fifth vital,

I had to come to terms with the idea of putting shit out there that I like the stuff we're talking about today is one thing. And I'm okay saying, Oh, my hair is thinning. I'm okay saying like, I am not good at holding a relationship. It's a whole different thing to talk about. Like your grandfather's struggling for help downstairs while you're smoking crack. And like, you can't help them. You know what I'm saying? Like, like not to get super deep, but like that shit tore me apart. Like that tore my fucking heart apart.

But I was able to say, yo, this is what I went through. This is the takeaway. It's a very vulnerable thing to do, Mike. Exactly. So it's a balance. Yeah. I was actually going to say with you, you were like, you need to make a lesson. I'm about, like I just signed my first book deal.

And so that's my first, my goal with the book for sure is definitely to actually like create some lessons from the things I've gone through versus just being a transparent asshole. But I was, but with that being said, one of my biggest inspirations with writing a book was your book. I, you know, I don't read a lot.

Big shock to the canceled viewers. She read it. I read your book and I loved your book. I would read it again. And we talked about this. We were at Tao like a couple, like a month ago at dinner, you and me. And literally we were at a table and this is rare for you. We were at a table full of bad bitches and-

People with more clout than me. And Mike spent the entire dinner sitting with me talking about his book and talking about, like, you know what, giving me advice for, like, what I'm about to embark upon. You also gave me kind of the, I don't know what you call it, but the spark notes of your second book. A bunch of, um...

highlights of things you're writing about and your second book is crazy. I got it too. I got a little bit of a little taste, right? Yeah. And it's incredible. I think it's one thing that I think I've never seen from an influencer or a celebrity. I've seen influencers and celebrities talk about addiction but not a lot of people talk about it transgressing into other addictive traits such as in the Hollywood world being like sex addicted. Yeah. And your second book

in my opinion, you start to kind of delve into that, the sex life of LA and what that did to you and where you're at now. And what was it again? It was a toxic world devoid of morals, right. With adultery. Yeah. You know, like, you know,

that's where I'm going with the second book. I think, I think there's, you know, in part of the chapter that I read to you talk about entourage and everybody always looked at entourage as this really good rep, uh, representation of what goes on in Hollywood. And while it was, it was 10%. Hollywood is, is it, is it a dark, dark place? And the shit that happens with the crossover of obviously crossover that I'm extremely familiar with, but the crossover of, you know, uh, entertainment, porn, uh,

rampant drug use, and by the way, more than anything, the generation of wealth.

The generation of wealth in Los Angeles is wild, right? And so when you combine all those things, it produces stories that are unbelievable. And the goal of the second book is to tell those stories in a way that I'm able to also provide some sort of tangible takeaway for the reader to apply to their life. What do you hope for the takeaway?

I mean, I mean, I mean, for me, just all I could let's just talk about that chapter for a second. I mean, there's a chapter where I talk about a really kind of fucked up sexual experience I had with a couple big porn stars. And it's great. And I read it and it's great. I was in town like, oh, my, it's great. I love. Oh, I love your stories. Continue with some underwater head and a Mac Miller line about I keep a freak bitch even when she underwater, she could deep throat.

And that happened. So insightful, truly. Yeah, it was a great Mac line, obviously. Two Mac lovers. We'll talk about that later. As they're bawling on the podcast. But like, you know, you present these stories and like people I'm sure know me as this guy who does spend a ton of time with beautiful women and with porn stars and with girls of all different kinds. On a sick one, if you will.

I wouldn't call it that because it's always on. A sick one ends at something. No, you're just on a sick one. It's just a consistent. You are always just a sick one. But the takeaway from that is, I say it like this, or at least my plan is around this structure. Growing up every man in the world

this idea that it would be the best thing ever to be able to fuck every girl in the world. Like Lil Wayne has songs about it. Like, I wish I could fuck every girl, whatever, right? And guys grow up with this thing. They're like, oh, I wish I could be a player. I wish I could do this and I could do that. And a lot of my fans, a lot of the kids that watch my stuff are like, or young adults a lot. Yeah, and they're like, wow, that shit's great. Like, that shit makes me miserable. Like, that's the story I'm trying to deliver.

Like there's no love there. There's no, there's no affection there. There's no long lasting, uh, goal, family, passion. It's all devoid. It's, it's, it's not exactly, it's an unfulfilling exercise. And so like, when you look at these people, um, when you look at Bill Zarian or when you look at like, I'm sure even Hugh Hefner, and I don't want to speak for Dan and Dan, Dan, you know, as a friend of mine and as a great guy, but like generally speaking, uh,

you know, as a general note, people that live a life that is ripe with different women every night are living unfulfilled from a point of romance. It's another addiction. And it does. It becomes another addiction. Where do you feel like you, I mean, because obviously with that being said, it becomes kind of a disassociative act and, you know what I mean? Just like another thing that you're doing that you're addicted to. And we actually, I started to try to touch on this with you at Jeff FM, but it just wasn't the time and the place.

What are your current thoughts now on after living a life like that? Like, because I always think about this. I always think about the fact that like, I always say like, oh, I'm 23. My life's so crazy. One day I'm going to wake up and I'm going to have a family and I'm going to get married and whatever. But as time goes, you just laughing at that blatantly. But as time goes on, it's like you, you do become so accustomed and addicted and used to this lifestyle that you almost don't know how to live in the other one. Do you,

Like, how do you feel about your future and that sense of monogamy? And what do you feel like is in your cards after living, you know, six to seven years in L.A. filled with this lifestyle? Well, it started way before that. I mean, I've been having this type of relationship with women and casual sex since I was probably 16 years old. You know, so it wasn't, you know, there was...

I said, another thing I say in the book or will is like a blue check just added more silicone. You know what I'm saying? Like the girls before the blue check just weren't, you know, they didn't have Botox and fake tits, but they were all, you know, like that was just my thing. Yeah. Trying to get more silicone. Seriously. I really am. But it's, it's, you know, it's, it's, um,

I guess I guess how I put it is like this. I think over the past couple of years or over the past year, obviously, I was in a relationship and a dedicated relationship. I didn't have any major troubles with with the monogamy beyond the beginning, which, you know, you're laughing about. But like but like I think I think.

- So that's also the trouble with this is getting serious with you because you are one of my favorite people and besties. - I'll talk about that too, but basically where I'm going with it is if you want, okay, so as an East Coast person, I have always had trouble with manifestation.

Because that's just not how we're bred. We're bred to like fucking, yo, work, work, work. If you want something, go get it. I feel the same way. And so like right now what I'm trying to do and the way I'm trying to look at it is if you want monogamy, start to think monogamously. So start to like, yo, like...

I've told myself for years now, like, yo, you're never going to be married. You're never going to have that kind of relationship because it's just not, you're not built for it. You know what I'm saying? No, no. I was telling myself that. And now recently I've been trying to like love myself into a position again where I'm like, yo, you are a good mother. Like you are, you're a caring friend. You're a caring person. You were very in love with Lana. I saw a side of you that I didn't think existed. Absolutely. And shit. And I do think you're capable of it, but it's all about retraining your brain, I guess.

That's what I'm getting at. And people don't really talk about that in LA. Or even just in this type of lifestyle, retraining your brain, I guess.

Well, the first thing you need to do is admit that the relationship that you're currently having with romantic situations and intimacy is a problematic. I mean, if the way media has trained men is that if you live the life that I'm currently living, that you have won some sort of award and it's far the opposite. It's completely the opposite. And it's, it's, it's, you know, like I said, a very lonely and unfulfilling life, you know? And so, and so the, the, the, the way I present stories in the book,

is by countering what could seem as brags as lessons. Because a lot of the stuff seems, the life we live seems very attractive and a lot of it isn't. A lot of it's not. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's hard to explain to somebody outside of it too because you'll say things in a way that like it does sound like you're bragging and you're like like it's hard to speak especially like I don't know like where you're from if you go home and you're like telling people stories that seem very normal and it like it just feels like very like

like i'm just ragged boasting boasting 100 i know exactly i know exactly what you're referring but it's like like you're trying to explain it in a way that's like oh this like kind of like oh it kind of sucks like kind of like yeah but it's there's no and that's that's another thing too i think that's it's a very big dichotomy in hollywood is it's like you you can never really complain about this life because if you are everyone is going to tell you you are so awful for complaining yeah we wouldn't trade it that's the thing it's like i wouldn't i wouldn't live a normal life if we could but

Like it's not what it seems like you said it's so unfulfilling you get here and you're like, okay Like I'm not excited by this like I thought I would be when I got here. Yeah 100% a lot of parts of it - it's not just it's not just intimacy and romanticism, you know, it's like especially it's especially an important story too because when you look at the desires professional desires of kids and young adults out there like

it's something like 75% of them want to be a creator. They want to be a YouTuber. They want to be an influencer. So crazy because that was not even like us growing up. It was never even like, I mean, for you, I guess. Yeah, but I was like the anomaly. Like it was a remote thing to want to be that until this generation. But now there's a thing, there's like a, I forget what the percentage of it was, but like you ask like high schoolers or middle schoolers now and they all want to be YouTubers. A YouTuber, a gamer, a Twitch streamer. It's crazy. And it's, by the way, like once again, like it's incredible. We're so blessed to be able to do it, but it's, it's, it's,

The rewards counteract the cons, you know, but I mean, the cons are definitely there. I mean, to touch on that, I like, that's what it was just making me think about. Not only does the sexual aspect of it become unfulfilling, but I just remember being in a time of life where it's like, like no one should be 21. I feel like I've seen everything and nothing excites me and nothing makes me happy. And I could see anything in the world happen in front of me right now. And I was like, oh dope. I've seen that. Like, you know what I mean? Like you have to be out here. And like you said, learn to love yourself to find security and happiness, like in the

in the normalcy well you see it manifest in every person who has ever like had it all like the Britney Spears the Lindsay Lohan's like all the people who are young and like and achieve that where everybody is looking at what you're doing and you like they seem to have like all the money all the fame and it's like no like all of those people are unhappy that's why most people turn to like crazy shit I think that's do you feel like you got like turning to crazy shit out of your system

Yeah. I mean, that's definitely one of the reasons why I'm able to navigate this city and this life with a little bit more ease than the normal person, because I have extremely high guardrails and protections for myself that I can't fall into certain things. And also like, look at, look at like the core downsides of the city and of this industry. I'm kind of protected against most of them. So like, generally speaking, if you're a creator influencer celebrity that comes in the city, you're,

first and foremost, you're, you have the potential to fall into drugs and partying with drugs. Right. Hi. So, right. But, but by the way, and also everyone else, right. Luckily for me, like I have, can't do that. I don't have the, I don't have the ability to do that. It's not an option for me. Right. Um,

Or a lot of them get taken advantage of from a business standpoint. I was doing influencer business before Instagram existed. You know what I'm saying? That's crazy. I came into the city. I've never had a manager. I've never had an agent. To the zip?

to this day, every half million, million, multi-million dollar deal I've ever negotiated has been negotiated by myself. If I need a legal team brought up, I'll pay them by hand and they'll get it back to me. That is so shocking. Congratulations. Well, I don't recommend that to anyone. No, I do, I do. But it's just because I have a background.

I've been so fucked on by people. That is so, that is like the best. That's crazy. Cause that's one thing in the world to take advantage of somebody like, like 1% of the city though. Congratulations. I mean, it's, it gives me a really interesting angle and really cool understanding of the business standpoint because I was writing the contracts that I now read for myself. You know what I'm saying? So like that made it very easy for me. I'm actually right now just writing,

uh getting into my first uh agency contract i won't say which of the big three it is today but it's it's the big three he says like well ca wme and and uta sorry well i'm gonna guess it's not uta because i forgot that one she's smart she's smart i don't want any beef with her ever ever again so do you feel like you guys this beef was genuine like were you both a little mad at each other

Did Mike Malek hit you? Here's the thing. Mike Malek punched me in the face. That part's not untrue. I did. So we were at a party at the Flyborne house, at the Bieber house. And

I think I was talking to Tana and I like spun quick or something like that. No, no, no. You guys were doing a handshake and you both, you punched me in the face too. Oh, it was both of us? You guys decked me together. And we like pulled back and all of a sudden she's like bleeding. Fat lip bleeding. Right. And it was fun. Like it really wasn't that big of a deal, but I needed, I just, you have to understand I needed attention in that moment. It's Brooke. It's Brooke.

I did. Okay, my lip is bleeding. Like, pay attention to the fact that you guys just punched me in the face. That was like, that was my mindset. We got off to a very bad start. And then this other. That was my first. Yeah, that was, I think, probably my first time ever having met you. This other influencer girl comes up and I won't say who and you guys are good friends now, but she comes up to the situation and you would just clearly like, but it's not. Dismissed. But it wasn't like a purposeful dismissing. It's kind of like me. You're very ADHD to party. A million things going on. Like it just something was distracting you and you tried, but you failed.

It's because you guys were already like really engaged in a conversation. So he was like, okay, we'll worry about that after it's done. Awful. But anyways, this other really big influencer girl comes up to Brooke and Brooke's like, oh my God, my lip is bleeding. No, she comes up to Tana. You're awful at talking. I'm sorry. Just lying right now. Interrupt Tana. Anyway, she comes up to Tana. She's trying to talk to her and Tana's like, hold on one second. Like her lip is like bleeding. She goes, I don't fucking care. And he keeps talking. And for months I was like that.

I'll believe it. I'll believe it. I love her now. I love her now. It could be both of those. But yeah, we started off on a poor foot, but then like, I think we hung out a couple of times after that. And then you guys were, you guys were getting into the podcast together and you had a lot of questions for me one night about how business works between partners. I did. That's funny because I was going to Logan asking the same questions. You're going to Mike and I was asking.

Because we were the co-hosts that were brought in. So we have this revelry together. I'm like, Logan, do I pay her? Yeah, I felt like I had like a bond with Mike because I was like, I can ask him these things because I felt like in the beginning you had to have been in like a similar position. So I was like asking him all these questions. I was like, Mike's my boy. Okay. And then of course, like the whole...

situation happen and I like I really came on here and when like I said I really believe what I was saying like I love even if I did it it's important to note that even had it like had I had she told me like listen I need you to lie for me I would have done that too I don't care because listen if she tells me I need I need you to say I did this I will I will say it are you guys are you guys friends now are you guys no no

no i love her i love that girl so much i will like you know she did that whole situation is really sad because i really do i really do really care about and respect that girl and um and she's a sweetheart i i prefer not even to talk about it today because i did because i did meet with her after and and she was very upset about the situation you know no she isn't that see that's why i felt so affected by that's why i felt like i had to come on here and defend her because i like

I don't know. Like you said, it's not good to talk about it, but just know that she is a good person in general. Did that one hurt you to say? No, she really is. Speaking of hurting to talk about someone being a good person, I wanted to revisit this earlier when we were discussing your love life situation. I'm just dying to know. We've had some conversations about this, and I think it's a fun podcast topic, and I just want to know, and I want to have a little fun today. Just say it already.

I just want a little lead up. Guys, get excited. Miss Amara. Miss Lana Rhodes. Great girl. Where do things stand now? You are not the father, yes? No, yeah. Not the dad, for sure. I think that's already been confirmed just by the overall look and style of the child. Not the style of the child. He doesn't wear the same kind of clothes as me. He has more style than me.

He definitely has better hair. Would you ever get back together? You know, I never say never about anything, but at this current moment, like it's off the table. We, you know, we did this little dance post relationship where we were going to be friends. Well, even beyond that, because of course we had that whole dance where it's like the toxic, like,

you know, we're going to make this work and then the fighting and all that stuff. But then even after that, where we were like, okay, let's like do this kind of for content a little bit or just like see if we could just be friends. You know what I'm saying? And like, let's just see how this works out. So hard to be friends with someone you love. You know, I figured out, I tried to tell all the people in my audience that it's possible and it really is kind of hard. It really is. I was just going to ask you, I don't, I don't know if it is. I mean, for me personally, I don't think it is possible.

I'm learning that. But that's the thing you have to, for me, I would have to remove myself from the situation and no longer feel like I love this person or like am in love with this person for me to be able to be your friend. No, a hundred percent. I agree. I'm learning that. Because I've asked this from, you know, olden days where like you talk to him now and it's like, dude, so good catching up. Yeah. And you are genuinely so like interested to know, but it's like. It takes time for sure. Yeah. A hundred percent. But we, but we, you know, we,

I'll still always check in. Or she'll check in. That's the thing. I do think it's very admirable how supportive you've been, like, even when she was pregnant to now. Anyone I dated would be like, oh, fuck you and that baby. That's the thing. And I feel like to me, like, where I am right now, if, like,

one of my guys like went off and had a baby, I would not, I would not be that way. You know, we'd already been out of the relationship for such a long period of time. I think like, you know, even, even when it came to the breakup video or like the stuff when we really started to talk about, we had already, so, so, so full transparency, she really hadn't. And, and she, she had the right thought and was holding on and, and saw a future and saw like a lot of,

positive things. And I just, we, we, we had disagreements and we had reasons why it just wasn't going to be a good fit. And I think I was a little bit quicker on the decision-making process to get out of it. And so, and so like, you know, it was, it was easier for me to disconnect after the relationship ended. And, um, so then when she got pregnant, um,

You'd already kind of been in the mood. I'll be honest, I was in shock, obviously. I was just like, what the fuck? How did this happen? But also at the same time, like, you know, she...

The girl had already accomplished so much. Had already put so much money in the bank. Had already traveled to every fucking country in the world. It makes sense. She's very motherly. She wanted a kid. She's very motherly. It was like she was telling me every day, I want to have a kid. I want to have a kid. I want to have a kid. I want to have a kid. Then good for her. That's fantastic. When she has a kid, I'm happy for you. What can I do to help you and...

And that's big of you. You know what I'm saying? That's kind of where I was. So I moved her out to Chicago and now she's like in New York or something. I think that's a good story arc for you and your maturity too. That was really a point where you really showed the world your maturity. I think it's funny because you're saying all of this and it's so valid and I couldn't agree more. But it's funny because like I sit here as like at one point I really was a stan of you guys as a couple. And I think that we don't talk about enough like

How affecting it is on you when you're in a major massively publicized couple that everyone is in love with trying to date again after that, trying to like, like even just chase that feeling of being like on top of the world with someone else. Well,

The situation is made dramatically more difficult when the last person you dated is considered to be one of the most desirable people on the planet. You know what I'm saying? And so it's, it's, it's become slightly problematic for me because it's like, shit, I, you know, I hate to say it like this, but it kind of like sets you up for.

Like you kind of have to like hit a certain caliber. I completely. Do you feel that way though? In an immature way, yes. In an immature. Like an ego way. Ego, social media owned way, yes. And when that's your business and your life too, it's like I completely understand. That's hard too though because like from the other side of it, anybody who's going to come in to date you is going to be so just by default insecure. Yeah.

In my opinion. That is, now I've already dealt with that. I've already dealt with that a ton of times. And I've had girls that I've started like these kind of slight relationships with or like, you know, when you get into a situation where you've, you know, you've had sex with a person a few times. Now you're like, yo, let's go get dinner. Yeah. Well, technically you should have. You're supposed to start with dinner, but yeah. Yeah.

I really thought so. I am trying, Mike, you're trying, but like, but like, yes, that is definitely a situation. Like, dude, like the whole world knows who your ex is. Like generally speaking, like you're able to navigate through the beginning of a relationship with kind of an unknown situation about who the person's prior lovers are. Like,

No, it's hard. It is very hard. It just adds another dynamic. Because there's always going to be some subconscious part of you that is going to compare. I mean, maybe not. 100%. Like, I don't know. But I've learned that that is so childish and stupid. It's the devil. And, you know, the relationship has taught me so much. You know what I'm saying? It really has taught me so much. And, like, it kind of was...

you know, not to sound like, like kind of like a male douchebag or a dick or whatever, but for me, it was kind of like the cap on my desire to want to be with people for looks.

Because I was like, okay, now where do I go? Like, where do you go from there? That's a real thing. I think people like try to get that out of their system. I've had that, like this same, like a similar conversation with a lot of like my guy friends. It's like at a certain point, you're going to settle down with someone probably that like superficially isn't someone even that you like would have wanted to go for, you know, five years. Because you learn it's more because yeah, none of that fucking matters. And like, I mean,

that. I mean, but literally none. That's the thing. Like, of course you have to have like a sexual attraction to your partner and that's not a question. Right. But like the, the, the actual like value of, of,

of looks in a relationship is so meaningless because, because they fade or they, or, or, and, and that's not even the reason why the things that you're looking for in a partner are, are, are enduring factors and ability to cheer you up on a day, a trustworthiness. Now, now, now the thing is, is like, well,

the reason why I was in that relationship was because she also exhibited many of those factors. Like, I feel like she's very, like, she's an example of someone who's beautiful, but like very smart, very like smart. And then the biggest thing with her, which, which is like,

I think the only way I probably find this again would be either outside of the city or just like someone that's not on the scene is her loyalty was on, was there wasn't a single person in the world that could have got her to look away from me if she was staring into my eyes. You know what I'm saying? Like this girl, this girl was, don't just break my heart in half right now for the love of God, call her back. My, but no, it's not, but that's not, but once again, that's one vertical.

Yeah. That's one vertical. So, so like, let me throw this out there. If you find someone who's fiercely loyal, but is also semi jealous or like not saying that she was, but like, you know, semi jealous or, or, or, you know, has the occasional desire to watch it all burn. Like who knows. Right. Or, or, or so one thing I've been looking for in a, in a mate lately is someone that I can bring to events or someone that I can bring out with me. I'll be transparent with this one and say Amara, uh,

Amara, whatever you want to call her, like however you want to say it was very focused on, uh, that home life that she was trying to curate for herself and that family life. And you weren't, I charge up off going out and meeting people and networking and being in a room and shaking hands and meeting this person. And yo, how can we work together? How can we get money together? Blah, blah, so on and so forth. And there has to be a, I kind of wanted someone that could do that with me, to be honest with you. And that could come out and like, say I go on like a

vacation with, you know, your two lovely boyfriends and we're skiing. And I say, girls, like you got, we're going to go do some like gnarly shit. Like where we jump off a cliff, guys go shopping. I'd want them to be able to like have like a cool relationship together. And so, yeah, I don't know.

No, I mean, it's all about middle ground. That's a realistic thing, though, because it does have to fit into your life. Like, as much as it's like, okay, I could find just, like, a normal person who does normal things and, like, that'll be, like, that's how I'm going to settle down. It's like, you still live this life. You're, like, obviously a very successful person and in, like, the creator's place. That's definitely my, like, biggest thing. Yeah. It's like, you have to understand my lifestyle. Same thing with her. It's, like, amazing. Like, you can go find out, like, find a financial advisor or something, but it's, like, realistically, it's not good. But he's going to hate everything I do. Yeah.

- Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. - And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Um, it just wasn't the right fit. Like simply put, it just wasn't the right fit. It wasn't the right fit at that time. It wasn't the right fit for us to, to, to go on. So, so now what are you doing? Well, who are you fucking? Well, what you doing? Shit. I mean, I want to get impulsive. You hear, I want like some, well, you know, I've never been one to like go out and just start dropping like names and shit like that. But I mean, it's, you know, we're trying to do less of that as well. Seriously. Yeah. I've never been like that. I, you know, I've been, um,

Have you been seeing anybody? No, not really. You know, I have. You have a crush on someone's heart just got broken. Someone's watching this. No. And yeah, for sure. Like that. That's the that's the thing. But I'm you know, I'm very upfront and straightforward with the girls that I have. I wish I got that. I'll have guys be like, I don't fuck with that. I think I think it's disgusting to break people to fuck with people's hearts. It's funny because my mom is is honestly my biggest role model.

You know, and honestly, like there's no one that's even close. Like she is like the leader of of the majority of decision making I have. And that includes, you know, kindness towards people, empathy, compassion. And she she taught me she taught me a number of things. She told me when I was very young, no tattoos, no motorcycle, no motorcycles and no cigarettes.

She missed a few ones. She didn't tell me about heroin. She should have said heroin probably. She didn't say crack. Mom, where were you on those ones? My mom said heroin and crack. Yeah, smart. But she also... No, my mom... But she also like very early on told me not to play with people's hearts. Because, you know, my parents divorced and she probably dealt with a fair amount of that type of activity. And so it's something that stuck with me. I'm just super upfront with girls. I'm like, yo, listen, like even if like

We go on a trip together, like any of that kind of stuff. I'm like, God, just like, you know, I've had fun. I do admire that though, because you go with these guys. Like I have, I've had guys just like play house. You know what I mean? It's like, you're acting like, you act like a boyfriend, you talk like a boyfriend. We like, you know. Yeah, and then we go to Miami together and you're like fucking a bitch. And I'm like, what? That's what I'm saying. That's not based on true events. No, no, no. I'm like still pissed. But I think, but I think the point that we made earlier on with like manifesting and direct and like your direction is,

Lately, I've been making a really... Trying to make a better effort to not even do that kind of casual stuff because it kind of... Sets up like a press bag. Well, not only that, but it puts you into that behavior stream. And so if your behavior is, okay...

Cause by the way, like there was a while where I had it down to a science, like, yo, we're going to this bar. We're getting, you know, tacos. You're getting, we're having margarita, like whatever. Right. Like, and then, and then, you know what I'm saying? This happens X, Y, Z happens. And it's just like, it's this unfulfilling cycle of just like, and by the way, there's a lot of men that can relate to the story that I'm telling you now. Like you fall into this fucking cycle of just like these meaningless relationships. And it's,

It's convenience. Yeah. 100%. You know? So lately I've been trying to not even do that and just, and just be like, okay, very transparent before, before I hang out with a girl, do I like this girl enough to have a conversation with her with absolutely no potential for sexual intercourse? Yeah. Do I have the, do I have enough, you know,

Like, though, I feel like this girl is knowledgeable enough to hold a conversation with. I want her to meet my mom. Like, I'm starting to have those conversations with myself before I hang out with her. Congratulations. Or, like, have sex with her. A little precursor. Just a... Congratulations. Avoids conflict. Honest to God. I mean, I do think after all of this, I would love to see you be a father, though. I do. I think you'd be a good dad. Oh, I feel like you'd be the best dad. Yeah. Yeah, because you're very... You know, you, like, you do your little, like...

I think you'd give good lessons. You've lived a life. You give me very Ted talk. Yeah. And like, you know, that's where I'm trying to go outdoors. You could do a Ted talk. No problem. I got invited to do TEDx, but I didn't do it because I have a supreme problem with mental illness called anxiety. Have you guys heard of it? Oh, I've heard of it. Yes.

We were talking about that on Jeff FM. I think it's perplexing that you do as much as you do live shows and shit with anxiety and still doing it. Imagine, though, how much we could do in life if anxiety just didn't exist. How many limitations? I've been trying. That's another thing. Honestly, the

this year and even like every year is, but this year especially has felt like a developmental year and a year of growth for me where like, even on that tip, I'm finally starting to work on it. And, um, and, and this will all go on to the next. How do you do it? That stuff, obviously the only thing I could do is I've had my ons and offs with, um,

SSRIs and SNRIs. You know, I've tried all that stuff and nothing ever really worked. So now I'm not on any kind of medications like that lately, but I've been trying to like find a bunch of different coping tactics for it. Cause, cause honestly, like for me, it's, it's not something that, uh,

It's not something that pops up and is on and off where it's like, okay, this is going to happen. This is something I deal with pretty much all day long. From the second I wake up until the second I go to bed, it's a cycle of negative thoughts or a cycle of you're not good enough. You're not going to do this. You're not going to do that. You're here because of this, because of that. There's nothing...

that is more dangerous of a habit than conditioning your mind into that type of thought pattern. Yeah, and it's just constant. All day. And so yes, it really starts to manifest into physical symptoms prior to big shows, live audiences, speaking gigs, stuff like that. And it sucks because it's to an extent handcuffed me on a lot of that stuff because I have had a lot of really big speaking opportunities because of the book especially.

You just have to turn down just because of that. Yeah, kind of, yeah. Do you feel like... Oh, I'm sorry. No, go ahead. I was going to say, like, because I've done, like, the whole antidepressant thing, like, and stuff like that, and it's hard. I feel like now, I don't know, like, what your time period was with that, but, like, now thinking about it, I'm like, how do I... At this point, I felt like I really needed to do that. It's like, now we have these jobs that are dependent on us having a personality. And, like, I mean, you've never taken anything like that, but I, like...

My experience with like, I did Lexapro too. I did Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin was my like, like I landed on that one. It worked for you? Oh, so well. Wellbutrin's a shit show of a drug. So then you definitely have underlying depression as well. Yeah, so mine was for depression. I never had anxiety until I went to Sam. Oh, got it. Yeah.

Because well, butrens, they tried it on me one time. Sorry, sorry. No, you're fine. They tried it on me one time, but it made me flip out because it's for depression. So it elevates whatever is going on in your mind. Yeah, see, mine was very much like at the time that I was taking it was depression only. I had no anxiety at all. I didn't like have any understanding of that at all. I like whatever. But.

It worked for what I needed it for at the time. Like at the time it was like, I, like I, I, it was non-negotiable. I needed to have that. However, no personality. Like I was, I wasn't making jokes. I was, I was, I was, yeah. And it was the trade-off and it was worth it to me to not feel the way that I did. But if I had that now, like I could, I couldn't have a podcast. I couldn't do what I do because it's like no sense of humor. No, like,

And so I'm thinking like now, if, if, if I were to come there now, it's like, what, like, what would we do? I relate to you so much on, on a lot of stuff, Brooke, like honestly, like that specifically, um, because I have, have always had that option as well. I've always had the option to go back to effects or to go back to Lexapro and, um,

It would allow me to live a little bit of a happier life and be a little bit more peaceful with myself, but it would also deteriorate my ability to...

go from topic to topic, be snappy, be witty, make jokes, talk about like having a train of thought. That's very, um, you know, you know, uh, always, always on and aware. And it's, it's, it's fucked up because at the end of the day, what it comes down to is us and our desire to trade our peace of mind and our happiness for the audience and for, and for success and for the industry. And it's, it's, it's, it's kind of fucked, but, um,

if I was heavily medicated, I would be far more mentally stable, but I would like forsake so much of what I have. I've always, always said that. Like they're obviously, it is to a certain extent. Like we benefit a little from like my own career, little quirks we have. If I wasn't manic, I'd have nothing. Like, you know what I mean? If I took away that mania with medication, I really do think I wouldn't. Cause like, that's where I'm. Yeah. And there's something to be said, obviously like you, you need to be able to identify and acknowledge when it's like, it's too far. And like, I, I, like, I need to fix this, but like,

at a certain point as long as you have like some kind of balance like I feel like I do benefit like the ADHD like all of that part I like I'm like oh I like that it like it helps me it's like it's fun it's funky like because I don't have a sit down job where I like where I'm required to like sit and do something all day long like that's not yeah so I'm like great I think the message from it too for like people because one thing I've noticed obviously having written the book and talked about this on every podcast and people know you know that this is something that I suffer from I think like the takeaway from it is like

kind of what you just said. And both of you guys just said, which is that your quirks are what make you, your quirks are what make you who you are. Like me, me not being this like random, like fired up, like psycho, like that, then my personality is gone. And now I don't have that thing that makes me who I am. This like kind of over the top, like energetic, high energy, positive person that makes people feel good about, you know, when I walk in a room, like my goal is to elevate the situation and make people feel happy and make people smile. Right. So like,

That's not to say that I have anything wrong with, that there's anything wrong with meds. And I think some people, like you said earlier, at that time, it was important to you. And I think for certain people, they're important. But lately, I've been looking for coping tactics and for anybody watching this out there that, and I'm sure there's a lot of you guys that suffer from any kind of anxious condition. You're suffering in general.

I'm kidding. I'm sorry. I got bad jokes. No, that was funny. And I appreciate your motivational. I need to be doing that more. That was funny. No, but just these quick tips. I'll just say. Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Just these quick tips. I would just say exercise, cardio for me, it doesn't work for everybody, but cardio has always been, I have to work out every day. If I don't work out in the morning, I won't survive. Literally. I love hiking. Yeah, that works, right? And water. Everybody doesn't need it. Maybe you guys don't need it.

No, no, no. There was a point in life where I was doing cardio every day and I was far a happier person. Looked way better too. Seriously, figure it out. You're not wrong. There are so many like little things you can do. Yeah, there's a lot of steps before medication for sure. Especially like routine and like shit like that really does help. And I find myself down on myself for that a lot because I'm like, fuck, you should just like literally be working out every day or taking these supplements or drinking a lot of what like a lot of those things really do help a lot. So I do validate that.

No, you're right. But, but routine in general boundary setting boundaries for yourself. If you, have you ever noticed that when you do something, if you, if you suffer from anxiety or even depression, if you do something far outside of your comfort zone or outside of your boundaries, have sex with a random person, have sex with an ex that you didn't want to have sex with over drink, over eat, overdo, overuse drugs. Have you ever noticed that your anxiety is 800 times higher because you're walking over boundaries that you've set for your personal self and that you

when you, when you overlapped those. - But that's true, the fulfillment, like, like just the thought of like, like not wanting to do something and actually not doing it, it makes you like, brings you back down. - Yeah, some level of discipline. But then the last thing I'll say is just the one that I've really been working on for this year. And, and the one that every leader, every business, you know, enthusiast or entrepreneur or any successful person does is constantly talks positively to themselves.

And that is so important in the management of those negative thoughts and that cycle and that pattern is to tell yourself the things and to view yourself the way that you want to be viewed by others. And so at some point, how you think about yourself will eventually align with how other people think of you. So that's just where I've been. You're not wrong. Tana laughs at me. Because there's people who do their affirmations or whatever. They get up in the morning and they're like...

I am beautiful I am strong whatever in the mirror it works for a lot of people but for me I'm like I could never but like we'll be getting ready and Tana will make fun of me because the whole time I'm like holy shit she's gorgeous like oh my god and that's like the only the whole time no but it's good it's good to build yourself up Brooke's delivery of it is just very comedic I can't even lie I'm like have you ever seen someone so beautiful so fucking gorgeous I just want to

Girls are awesome for that. Like they hyping each other up. Nobody, no guys like really do that enough. But Logan's the king of the manifestation. He's better than anyone at that. He's got notes to himself. Yeah, he's got notes to himself on the mirror. He's got, you know, like he's just...

He just is always talking that way to himself. I feel like I want to get like, I'm still at a point right now where I take my or I like, I don't want to say take myself too seriously. But I still like journaling to me still feels very like, I would love to journal. Honestly, I struggle with that. My biggest form of motivation and this is so dark is negativity.

Like if I read a hate comment, like that would motivate me 10 times more to be better. And I need to talk about this in therapy sincerely than like a positive thought. If I tell myself like you're a failure, I'm 10 times better of a person. That's how a lot of people work like that. A lot of people feed off of negativity. What do they say? My haters are my motivators. But even just to myself, like if I wake up. I think like Gandhi said that.

If I literally wake up and I'm like... Or like Ross Perot or Obama. You're not wrong. I could sincerely wake up and tell myself, you're a winner, you're so rich, you kill it. And all day I'd be like, I'm a winner, I'm so rich, I don't have to do shit. But if I'm in the mirror like, you're a fucking failure, then all day I'm like, I need it. I don't know what it is about that. No, I get that. You were earlier, I wanted to touch on this again, but you were talking about how you suffer with depression until LA and then that's kind of what manifested your anxiety more was being in this city and being here. Do you feel...

Did you feel a significant change being in Puerto Rico and potentially moving there compared to LA? How much of your issues do you feel like are directly hand-in-hand with LA? I've always had it. If anything, to be honest with you, it's been an underlying problem my whole life and was actually a massive...

precursor and reason for me to use drugs. You know what I'm saying? The drugs quieted my mind. They made me feel, uh, I'm sure you guys know this, that like, I was a huge fan of euphoria. So like I was a massive euphoria fan and it was for various reasons, but there were some lines in that, uh,

In that show that, that really, really, really resonated with me to a point where I was like, I loved what you were doing. I'm sorry to cut you off, but like what you were doing, explaining how realistic that was. Cause like, I know that was for sure. Your experience was like from you more as like the point of rue. I experienced that as more of like her little sister. Cause like,

I grew up with it. Like my parents were both addicts. That's what's crazy about Euphoria though. Yeah, but that's the thing. I felt rude. If you have never experienced it yourself, I don't think you can like appreciate the show for what it was because it is so realistic. That was a really tough, I mean, to that point, I mean, that was, it was a really tough watch for myself and it was also a very tough watch for my mother and my little sister. Yeah.

who resonated dramatically with the characters that you're talking about, Rue's mom and Rue's sister, because they were, I mean, some of that stuff was exact. I mean, some of that stuff was exact. No, it's spot on. Where she was ruining the house. Looking for the suitcase. Trash and shit. The whole scene is like, it's like. They called me and it was, I think it was episode four of season two. And they called me and they were like, yo, we don't think that's a good idea that you watch tonight. And I watched it. And like, I mean, that episode five,

really fucked me up you know what I'm saying like really fucked me up because you know the pain that an addict produces for their family members is kind of the last thing that you ever get over and it's something that I still struggle with quite a bit it's like a guilt yeah and I've kind of forgiven myself but you're not you it's driving the boat but people I mean they understand that too for me at least for me no I'm just kidding sorry

No, but, but, but that, that show, like they did a great job on it. And so like there was one line Sam Levinson, incredible, you know, writer, producer, just incredible. And there was a, there was a part of it where she said she was talking about the first time she ever got high after her dad died. And she said, or maybe it was before, but it was at some point around there. And she said, it was the only time I had ever felt safe in my own mind.

That was how she described it. And for someone like me to hear that, it was probably one of the most meaningful pieces of cultural work that I've ever seen because there was nothing I really related with more than that. That was why I started doing drugs. It was to quiet the thoughts. It was to make the thoughts stop. It was to make that feeling of worthlessness or insecurity or whatever kind of quiet down.

And so, you know, that show is incredible. That show is incredible. And so a lot of that's so, so to your question, that stuff is always there, you know, has LA, LA actually, to be honest with you, has for me has been a little bit better, has made things a little bit better for me. And I'll tell you why. If you suffer from insecurity, if you suffer from feelings of worthlessness, if you feel, if you suffer from self-confidence issues or any kind of those anxieties or negative self-thought or OCD, you're

The greatest thing that could ever happen to you is to be validated. The greatest thing that could ever happen to you is to have people say, holy fucking shit. This kid is special. Wow. This kid is special. This book is, has saved thousands of lives. And it's five star rate is the highest rate. One of the highest rated books on Amazon and audible. This kid is fucking done. Do you know what I'm saying? Like it took, you're right.

I agree with that. Putting out works that I was fucking proud of and that other people were proud of for me to be like, holy shit, maybe there is a reason for me to be confident in myself. I agree with you 100%. My first sense of validation was definitely being in LA. Like I never felt that growing up ever. And you're actually very right. And just like a sense of like, I don't know,

if you felt this way, like in Vegas or whatever, but like in Arizona, I always knew that I wasn't supposed to be there. And so coming here, that helped with a lot of... Imposter syndrome. Yeah, where I just like, I knew that I wasn't supposed to be in this place and like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing. So even coming here, long before I ever was doing anything that I thought that I should be doing, I just felt like...

more at peace because I'm like, okay, like I did something. Wait, you're right. That's, I guess my first sense of like peace with my life and its purpose was seeing the physical manifestation of people telling me like, oh, you changed my life. Oh,

oh, your shit resonated with me. That was like the first time where I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't kill myself. You know what I mean? So I completely agree with that, that there is something about LA that validates your purpose. And it doesn't have to be LA. I mean, it was LA for me, but like I said, you know, to the point of it, it's like, especially when it was related to

value based praise like the podcast the podcast is so like when people tell me they watch the night shift I

I love creating content for the night shift. The burger reviews, anything that makes you forget about your day and laugh for a little bit. That's why I started YouTube. I feel that. Great, right? You want to make one person. The podcast, the level up from that where people say, yo, we watched your interview with Dana White. We watched your interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger. We watched your Boys Only episode. You guys hit some really tough fucking topics. You talked about a lot of really good stuff. You put out an episode about George Floyd that made people really fucking gravitate towards the show. I'm like, okay, wow. I'm having a fucking, an actual impact here. Yeah.

But it wasn't until the book came out and people started saying to me, yo, like my life

was marked markedly changed and i could i could show you exactly like here's my arms from six weeks before i read your book track marks cutting myself here's here's my report card because i didn't go to fucking school because i was i had such a bad fucking condition of anxiety or depression that i couldn't go to class here's my shit now this is me now and it happened as a result of something you fucking produced that was the final straw for me that was where like that was where like

Anytime there was a fucking Twitter, somebody said L plus ratio. Somebody said, somebody said anything. You're Logan Paul's friend. You're just a, I am bulletproof now. Invincible. It does. It doesn't matters anymore because I,

Damn, we should write a book. You know what I'm saying? Because you produce something that stands the test of time. You have a work. You have a body of work that represents you as a... Exactly. Yeah, I agree with that. I really do. I love that for you. I definitely, I agree. I saw such a change in who you are after the book came out and I think that it's incredible. It's a motivator within itself to show people to really like use your pain to...

hopefully try to help other people and you never know what it will do. You know what I mean? And that's, that is, that's my life's entire purpose. Maybe what I do isn't as meaningful as it could be. Maybe I'm not sitting here teaching a lesson with everything I'm doing, but knowing I've ever potentially saved a life from any of my suffering or lessons is like why I do what I do and wake up every day at the end of the day. So I do feel that it's, it's definitely a motivator to have people go out there and, you know, do something with what you've been through or lived. And that's fire. I love that.

- Buenos dias, world, from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. - And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bro, it's funny because I knew today was going to be, we would go like deep.

I told her I knew it was going to be like that. It's kind of my new tip. I mean, I'll definitely switch it up. Y'all want to talk about some fucked up shit? No, no. I knew you would like go in and that's what I wanted. I really wanted to come in today and just let you talk your shit about life and it'd be deep. But you really, you really hit that.

And I'm happy. I'm really happy with today's episode. It's fun. We were just shooting an episode before this talking about sugar daddies. Literally like the least meaningful episode of all time. And I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here and there's like seven of us on this couch and we're just talking about like Lila sugar daddying in Vegas and all. And I'm sitting there thinking Mike Malek's on the couch watching outside. This is so embarrassing. I was laughing at all of it. I thought it was great. I was just so. He had his time. He was our age. Of course the one day meaningful Mike comes in though. We're having the most awful.

awful episode of Cancelled ever in history today. No, I like to remind people that we can maybe talk about human topics. I loved the Ethan episode because it was kind of similar where he talked about sometimes it's just me and Tana being like, shit? But also your fans love you for that too. It's important to teach these lessons. No, for sure. Like you said, influence. No matter what, we're going down this platform. We can throw in a meaningful episode. It's not the end of the football world. I hope so. I hope somebody watching it was...

Felt something. Who knows? What's next for you? I feel like... Can I make a prediction? What I think is next for you? Finding an intellectual property and or item in the food world. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely on the... I mean, if I...

There's no one in the camp that I reside within that could ever say... If you ask what's next for you, they would ever give you one answer. You know what I'm saying? It shouldn't be that way. We're extremely diversified across multiple platforms, verticals, and places. I guess what's exciting and next? Or like, what are you passionate about right now? I mean, obviously the second book is unfortunately, you know...

taking a look is going to take a little while because I'm juggling a lot. It also is very scary to me to go back to a place where I have to write about stuff that makes me feel the way that writing makes me feel because it, that's how you get to that place. It's, it's fiery. It hurts a lot. That's what I'm doing. I'm getting like trauma, like therapy, like that makes you relive your trauma in order to write my book because I don't remember my life at all.

Yeah. Like at all. I don't remember any of my life at all. So I get that. Like having to go dark like that is hard. Right. So book two is one thing and just kind of working through that with the agency. And then also any potential for a docu-series or stuff around book one. So we've had talks about movies. We've had talks about docu-series. I would watch it. And then.

and then obviously continues impulsive is going on the road. I think people probably know that. Well, yeah, you toured, but is that going to be like a big long tour? Yeah. Yeah. We'll be in your city. A hundred percent. So the agency's putting it together with a big, uh, so exciting touring company on the road. I want that.

That's a goal. But I mean, you guys are also 300 episodes deep. Yeah. You guys are very seasoned. And we've been forced to step our game up lately by a competitor, which has been great. And, you know, shout out to the full scent podcast and they've been crushing it. And, you know, Kyle and Bob are doing a great job over there. I'm going to have Obama.

Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it basically just told us, Hey, listen, like, um, you know, maybe I'm biased, but I think that we probably are, we let's put it like this. We've been doing it longer and, and you know, we never want to get comfortable. No,

No, of course not. But I guess what I'm getting at is, you know, we feel good about where the content is, but we just need to step it up with the guests a little. And I, you know, really do. I just watched that. It was a great episode. Great episode. So Impulsive on the Road, book two, and then to the food point. Yeah, I think. I want a restaurant from you. I want like a Mr. Reese burger. Yeah, within the next six to 12 months, I think we'll have brick and mortar burger restaurant. Really?

I love burgers. I'm like, I love burgers. I love water. I love this bit for the podcast. Mike's like, yeah, I was just breathing. You're like, I love breathing. Do you know how serious I take the burger shit? Like, it's not like, by the way, I just recently like tapped in. You tweeted like a list of a bunch of

burger restaurants that you love. And I was like, oh, he's really into everything now. - Well, people think that-- - I didn't know that night I was inspired. - People think that like this is, it's all, you know, Portnoy-esque, which in a way it is, you know, I mean his ratings, he's not obviously the first person to rate food, but like-- - He's been doing it long enough. - Yeah, and he's been crushing the pizza stuff. But listen, I was doing, I had a food blog in 2013.

I've been taking pictures of food and talking about food to people. It is my passion. It is my literally ingrained in my soul. And burgers were always the biggest topic. And the burger stuff started with Shake Shack Five Guys In-N-Out. The age old debate around what is the best one. Can you tell me your choice out of those three before you continue? I'm sure there's old Fentana being a West Coaster, but I've always been Shake Shack first, Five Guys, then In-N-Out.

And I can tell you why if you want, but. - Tell me why. - Five guys wins and that's the only right answer. - No, I'm fine with that. So I've always put Shake Shack and Five Guys in a kind of a very, whoever you pick one. I just personally don't believe that In-N-Out is at the same level. - I don't think so. I think it's underwhelming.

but I'll still eat it. I'll tell you what. So, so, so I, I really like what Shake Shack does with the consistency of their entire package. The potato bun is extremely soft. The, the, the burger semi-decent quality and the cheese is great. The shack sauce is great on the shack burger and the fry, the crinkle cut fries with the cheese sauce are incredible. So I put that kind of at the top. If I'm really hungry, I'll put five guys at the top, very big burger, a lot of meat. You have the choice to, to downsize the meat, but it's,

the original by itself is two burgers. The cheese is always really good. The sesame seed bun is good. And the fries at five guys are the best of the three. So the Cajun fries at five guys are incredible. Now the deal with In-N-Out is this, it's a regional great. It's extremely affordable, which is amazing. I think a burger, there's like $4 or something like that. Right. I just, I think the fries, I,

I think the fries should not even be put out. I don't believe the fries should even be released to the public. I think they should be put back into whatever cauldron of hell that they came from. Right back up in that potato cutter. And leave them. No, because they're not. Do you know what they're made of? What? They're not potatoes. I assure you, I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart.

They collect Barbie playhouse boxes that the Barbie playhouse is put inside. I think I read that somewhere. And they shred them up and they use the shredded Barbie playhouse cardboard to create what is the shake that the In-N-Out French fry.

Now, the way they make it acceptable to eat it is by topping it with so much shit. Cheese, diced onions, the special sauce. And you know what? It works for me. And it's delicious. It's great. Don't get me wrong. But the fried selfie thing needs prison. Who's the guy

who does... No, he needs to go back to hell. He needs to die, dude. You know who I'm talking about? The heavier set guy? Action Bronson. Yes, Action Bronson. Fuck, that's delicious. That is my dream job. Yeah, it's amazing. Have you ever seen it? It's like a show. Him and all his friends go, basically, they travel and they do a video series and it's just like a bunch of funny people, basically, eating amazing food. You're a cultured little son of a gun, aren't you? Oh, it's my favorite...

favorite thing ever and it's that to me I can't imagine a better job in the world. We need to start a food review show. I'm trying to chop in. But the thing is they'll eat anything. Like there's no cap but they go and they talk to the people about like the culture like everything behind it like what they're doing in the kitchen like it's actually Giving diners drive-ins and No, no. So what it is it's your Ashley Bronson show is incredible. Basically what it is is

The, the, somebody I see a lot of myself in, but I don't even like saying that because I'm so insanely humbled by his even living. But Anthony Bourdain was one of the greatest humans on the fuck ever. I mean, this guy was fucking incredible. He was, he was extremely sharp, extremely ahead of his time. Romantic with the way that he talked about food, romantic with the way that he talked about travel and culture. This guy was incredible.

A monster. And for me, you know, East Coaster, ex-heroin addict, someone that has continued to play, then not play with alcohol, someone who's had their problems with, you know, relationships. I mean, this guy, the amount of mirrors to myself I see in just his...

Shortcomings in life is incredible to me. But the fact that he also loved food, loved travel, loved culture. So the hole that Anthony leaves behind, has left behind, has always been something that I dramatically would love to fill. And that's such a, I could never do that. Like he's a god. But it's someone good to look up to. Correct. 100%. Correct. So that's where I hope I go. I could see you doing that. I feel like that's, I don't know.

I don't know. You're so well-spoken in the way that you explain things and describe. I think they're overshooting. Honestly, no. You're selling yourself short. I think if the show hit. I do. Don't we all? Don't we all? Seriously. Five guys, In-N-Out, or Shake Shack? Five guys. Five guys first? Five guys. In-N-Out's first for me. Really? You're a West Coaster. You've been bred into that belief. It's familiarity. It's a regional great. You know there's people down south who would tell you,

Hey now, I'm not doing accents. Hi now. You almost killed it. You completely have forgotten about the actual greatest of the burger chains. And they'll say, what a burger it is.

I fucked so hard with Whataburger. I don't know what you're... If you're about to slander Whataburger, just shut the fuck up. It is so good to me. But it's... But it's comparable to McDonald's. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, it's giving Burger King Jack in the box. Yes, so I will skip the slander today. But to your point, yes, it should not... If anyone who ever mentions it in the same...

sequences those three is you're right I should have let you speak it definitely is more on the wave of like the McDonald's but anyone from the south would disagree it's crazy

I fuck so hard with the Whataburger. I swear to God. So do I. The mustard on it could just fucking absolutely deck me in the face, wind it up and hit me. Wow, I'm starving. With all that being said, we're all about to go out. Are we? Hyde tonight? Wherever you want to go, Dan. I'm going to go find my wife there. You're not finding your wife at Hyde. I know, I know. I'm finding my wife at probably Air One. Air One. Or by the way, ladies, it's been the gym. And I'm West Coastified. You're finding your wife at Air One. I'm not a fucking liberal. Stop saying that.

Are you not a fucking liberal? I'm not, dude. He's unimpulsive. What do you mean he's not? No, people think it's a very liberal program. No. No one thinks that. No one thinks the polls are liberal. We've had our moments, but I'm very...

We're not doing politics today, forget it. Leave me out of the polls and the politics and the politics, sincerely, please. Thank you for having me on your show. I love you too, guys. We loved having you. I think you're my favorite guest we've ever had. Is that rude to say to the other ones? You're my favorite person we've ever had. It's just an honor to be here, and I know you guys have a fiercely loyal audience, and I appreciate y'all watching the episode today, and I hope that you could pull something that could help you guys in your own lives. Read his book. I haven't read it yet. It's on Amazon, The Fifth Vital.

I'm sending it to my mom. I have known you for forever and I love our friendship. I think we really started with an off-camera friendship, which is rare out here. And we bonded a lot. You were giving me heaping praises on Jeff FM and I just wanted to do the same thing for you here. Like you were a great friend and a great person and I love you to death. And I appreciate you coming in and getting deep with us on Canceled and giving the viewers something they don't get often, which is, you know, no slander, some wholesome life lesson. Sorry, like for like slandering you.

You know, seriously. Yeah, the beef is over and now we're all going to the club negating everything we just said. Have an amazing night, cancelled listeners. Bye. Tanimoja is cancelled. A DWE Talent Production. Buenos dias world from the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance. I'm Marco Wendt. And I'm Rick Schwartz.

And we're your hosts for season three of Amazing Wildlife, a show from iHeartRadio Ruby Studio and the global conservation organization behind the San Diego Zoo and the San Diego Zoo Safari Park. Listen as we dive into the efforts here in San Diego and spotlight the heroes working worldwide to care for the species you know and love. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.