Deep Dive
Why do dismissive comments like 'It was just a joke' or 'Don't take it personally' affect self-esteem?
These comments dismiss feelings and consequences, controlling the outcome and slowly eroding self-esteem by making you question your reactions.
How can you respond to someone who says 'I was just joking'?
You can say, 'Then make it funnier' or 'Then find new material,' turning the joke back on them to highlight its lack of humor.
What is the best way to respond to 'Don't take it personally'?
Respond with 'I get to decide that' or 'Don't say it personally,' asserting your right to interpret and react to comments as you see fit.
How should you handle someone who says 'Don't be so sensitive'?
Play off the word 'sense' by saying, 'No, I'm sensing X, Y, and Z,' which keeps you in control and non-defensive.
Why is it important to avoid getting defensive when responding to dismissive comments?
Getting defensive makes you appear weaker and reinforces the dismissive narrative, whereas staying calm and assertive maintains your strength.
What advice does Jefferson Fisher give for dealing with a coworker who constantly says 'I was just joking'?
Suggestions include saying 'Then be funnier' or 'I'm surprised by that,' which can help set boundaries without escalating conflict.
- Respond with 'then make it funnier' or 'then work on your material'.
- Play off the word 'joke' to assert your boundaries.
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