Wife Swap Murders - Did Strict Household Rules Lead to Murder?
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Hey guys and welcome back to my channel. So happy to have you here. If you are new, welcome. So today we have quite an interesting case to go over and this family actually was featured on Wife Swap. So when I came across this case, I realized that I actually had seen this episode of Wife Swap a long time ago. It aired in 2008.

but I had no idea what ended up happening with this family and I was truly blown away researching it. But before I get into the case, I wanted to remind you guys that I am currently looking for graphic designers to help with future merch collections. So graphic designers,

mainly people who have had experience with apparel. We've gotten a ton of applications. We're still going through them. And I just wanted to let you guys know that it's still open and you can still apply if you want to. My husband's bringing me a pillow. Pregnancy is really starting to hurt.

So if you are interested, that application is linked below. But let's go ahead and get into this one, shall we? So the family that we are talking about today is the Stockdale family. And like I said, they were on Wife Swap. Now, if you haven't seen Wife Swap, it's pretty prime reality TV. Not gonna lie, it's definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. Now...

Wife swap is definitely a bit or a lot exaggerated. The whole premise of the show is they find two families who are completely different. For example, they'll find a religious family and swap them with a super non-religious family or find a really clean family and put them with a messy family. Just polar opposites. Now, they definitely have the families kind of play up their family.

differences to an extreme level. And then they have the two wives of each family swap. And obviously they know that finding two very different families and having them swap lives is going to create some drama. So before each wife leaves their house, they write down a list of rules for maintaining their household. And then the new wife that comes in has to follow these rules for the

And then they switch. So the new wife is able to come in with the rules that she has in her own household and impose all these new rules on this family who is completely opposite. Then at the end of the two weeks, the families come back together and talk about their experiences. Sometimes they learn lessons. Sometimes they appreciate their, you know, wife even more when they are switched back.

or they realize how awful they are, one or the other. So Wife Swap aired from 2004 to 2010 and was rebooted in 2012 with a similar concept, but it was Celebrity Wife Swap. Celebrity Wife Swap only aired for four seasons before ending, but yeah, I love those Celebrity Wife Swap episodes. They are juicy. So back in 2008, season four of the original Wife Swap aired and the Stockdales, a family of six who were based out of Stark County, Ohio,

were among the families that were featured. Their family included their parents, Tim and Catherine, as well as their four sons, Calvin, Charles, Jacob, and James. Now, the Stockdales lived in a rural town on a farm, and the boys were raised very conservatively. And I don't mean that politically necessarily, but instead, their access to traditional media and traditional upbringing was extremely unbiased.

limited. For example, the boys were not allowed to watch TV, play video games, date. They couldn't listen to any rap or hip hop music or any secular music as they say. They couldn't even eat candy, couldn't cuss, and as you probably would guess, they couldn't have any unmonitored or unscheduled internet access. And all four boys were homeschooled by Catherine and were bound by very strict schedules and rules as a way to protect them from

from bad influences Catherine even stated that in order for her boys to have success in life they would need a good work ethic and lots of structure growing up the boys were also heavily influenced by bluegrass music and it was a big part of their life and eventually they started the Stockdale family band and it wasn't just the boys their father was also part of the band Tim played

Calvin played banjo. Charles played the mandolin. Jacob played the fiddle. And James played bass. And their mom, Catherine, did not play an instrument herself, but she ended up giving herself the role of band manager. And other than, you know, maintaining their farm and going to school, the Stockdale family band was their biggest responsibility and priority. Peaches in the summertime.

♪

And the band was relatively successful. They traveled all around the U.S., competing and actually winning several regional competitions. They actually wrote three albums as a family, and they would play their music in several different states, including Indiana, Michigan, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania. And they mainly did small venues like churches, theaters, and country fairs. ♪

Oh, hello everyone. I'd like to invite you to the 9th Annual Stockdale Family Band Bluegrass and Gospel Show on April Fool's Day. You won't have to be the fool though. We got that covered for you. Click above for more details.

And they said that their dad was their inspiration for playing old time acoustic music. They would even have music nights when they were younger and growing up. Their dad would play guitar and the boys would hit pots and pans until they were old enough to play instruments. Jacob, who is the third son born in May of 92, started taking music lessons at only seven years old. And he was just 12 years old when the Stockdale family band began. But by then he was already playing fiddle like an expert.

Now, despite their love of bluegrass music, they still had strict rules around rehearsing for the band. And honestly, strict feels like an understatement. So, of course, when they went on Y Swap, some of these rules that they had were on the show and...

The wife who swapped with them thought they were very overwhelmingly strict. Of course, they switched with a family who was completely opposite from them, a very liberal family from Illinois who lived nothing like the Stockdales. And their last name is Tonkovich. So Lori Tonkovich was the wife who switched places with Catherine Stockdale.

Obviously, they were completely different from the Stockdale family. They were very carefree and their two kids were 21 and 17 and they were super free to go about their lives as they pleased. Lauren even stated that her kids were allowed free reign over anything in their home. The Stockdales, like I said, had a no dating policy, but the Tonkovics,

actually had the girls' significant others living with them in the home. So drastically different experience for Catherine. So in the episode, Catherine leaves a very detailed family manual for Lori, which laid out everything the boys were required to do every day. And it also includes some details about why she chose to raise the boys this way and how she thinks it will benefit them later in life. Their family manual said, welcome to our home,

We're not just a family, we're a band. The Stockdale Family Band. We play bluegrass in barn dances and shindigs all over our area. We have Calvin on banjo, Charles on mandolin, Jacob on fiddle, and James on upright bass. Tim, my husband, is on guitar and upperclassmen.

I'm the manager. A family that plays together stays together, and there's nothing so wholesome as playing old-time bluegrass with your favorite people, your family. We move to the country to get our boys away from the city. Our children are being raised away from violent language, sexual influences, drinking, smoking, drugs.

rap music, all the things we left behind in the city. Instead, we are raising our children on a diet of wholesome activities and farm work, keeping their minds pure and their bodies healthy, and keeping out the influences of modern society. That's why we homeschool.

TV and video games are banned. They produce redundant minds and lazy children. I want my boys to be active, productive, and busy every waking moment. Internet access is restricted. There's no idle surfing in this house. Instead, we enjoy spending time reading to each other, playing music, or storytelling. Now this one kind of surprised me. I've never heard of any family having rules like this, but

But the boys were not even allowed to play sports, sports of literally any kind, because she thought they would make them too self-centered and competitive. And one of the important ideals that Catherine really seems to drive home is that nothing is free in their home. Everything is earned. And so, of course, she has the boys do a variety of household chores and farm work.

in order to receive tokens in exchange for that work. And then, you know, they save up their tokens and if they get enough, they're able to watch a pre-approved family friendly TV show or have one stick of gum. And Catherine says she stays home to cook, teach and manage while Tim runs the farm and works a second full-time job delivering animal nutrients to farmers across Ohio.

When it comes to chores, here's what the manual says. We do not look at chores as free slave labor. We are giving our children a good work ethic and a selfless attitude. It keeps us grounded and bonds us together. We like to teach our boys to work with their hands. This means chores, yard work, and cleaning. And when it comes to eating, the manual states that the meals must be shared as a family unless Tim is gone for work

where Calvin is away at college. Meals cannot be rushed, and each day they have a detailed menu of what they will be having. The boys obviously are not allowed to have any type of candy or snacks throughout the day, and if they don't finish a meal, they will not be given anything else until they finish whatever is left on their plate. Catherine also explains that the boys wake up at 7.30 every day, and then they're given a four-minute...

I don't know why four minutes, but a four minute warning that breakfast will be served soon. And if they do not arrive for breakfast on time, they are actually charged. They have to pay up 25 cents and the fee increases the later they are for breakfast.

And she says that this teaches them about financial penalties. And the manual also lists a bunch of potential meals that Lori can cook for them. Some of these meals include link sausage on bread with sauerkraut, breakfast giblets, yummy, which is hearts and gizzards, fried liver on bread and butter.

Super Herb baked chicken with salad and then more standard things like scrambled eggs and sardines on hot buttered toast with mustard. After breakfast, each of the boys have to do their chores before they start their homeschooling. And Catherine also notes in the show that they have to get eggs.

A's on all their material before they move forward with new material. And she also explained in the show that, you know, homeschooling gives her the control over what is taught and what moral lessons her sons learn. She also says that the kids participate in debate lessons every day at 4 p.m. Then at the end of the day, they have dinner. And after dinner, they must practice their instruments and follow anything outlined in the band's contract.

During the episode, Catherine stresses that the number one rule in their house is that the kids obey their parents. Specifically in the manual, she says the first rule of this house is to obey your parents. Teaching the boys respect is vital in this modern world where so many children disrespect adults. We don't tolerate any of the boys hurting each other physically or verbally and insist that if they make a mess, they clean it up. So at the end of the first week,

Laurie does not like the way that the Stockdale kids are being raised and she gets to change the rules during week two. Laurie allowed a lot of different things and obviously,

The boys were honestly pretty uncomfortable with it. For example, she allowed the boys to play video games, which is something they were not used to. And obviously they're going to enjoy it, but they felt extremely guilty. And at one point, Jacob actually ran out crying and told Lori that if he played video games, his parents would tell him that he would burn in hell for playing video games. And also one of the things that she wanted the boys to experience during her week was

was to date. So she tried to get Calvin and Charles to go on a date, but they were very, very against it. I mean, they were just scared to break any of the family rules, especially with the idea that they would go to hell for doing any of these things. And on the other hand, of course, Catherine was just appalled by all the freedom that Lori's kids had.

especially by the fact that they had their significant others living with them. So she decides to teach them a lesson by having them carry babies around that cried, you know, kind of like those dolls that some people get in health class as like a form of birth control, really. They cry when they need to be fed or burped or changed. And the idea with those dolls is to

to teach teenagers a lesson about the responsibilities that come along with having kids. Of course, by the end of the two weeks, both wives are very ready to get back to their life. But before they switch back, they have them all kind of convene and discuss what they learned from each other and really just rip each other's parenting to shreds. And Lori actually ended up calling Catherine a terrible parent, which obviously she was not too happy about. ♪

So in the Stockdale house, the kids are eventually able to leave home if they want to once they hit a certain age, although this is highly discouraged. But when they reached college age, Calvin and Charles decided to leave home. Calvin went off to Hinsdale College in Michigan and Charles went off to study and be a doctor in Philadelphia. So now Jacob and James were exiled.

at home dealing with all these rules and pressure by themselves. And they still played in their family band without their older brothers. Once Calvin and Charles left, Jacob was now the oldest son living in the home, and he actually joined a second band and won first and second place in a handful of regional contests. ♪

And things were, quote, normal for a little while, but that all

That all changed on June 15th, 2017. That day, a 911 call was made to start county police dispatch, but the caller hung up before stating their emergency. But of course, police were able to trace that call back to the Stockdale residence and they went ahead and sent a squad car there. So when they got there, two sheriff deputies approached the house and they realized that the front door was left open.

So they slowly walk towards the door. And as they do, they look inside and they realize that someone is lying motionless on the floor. Immediately, they call for backup. And then they start giving verbal commands to this person, hoping that they will stand up. But they don't. And they don't hear anything inside at first. Nobody responds to them. But then they hear a loud gunshot.

come from inside the house. So more officers are on the way and these deputies decide to go ahead and enter the home. And when they do, they realize that it's Catherine Stockdale that's lying on the ground. And then they realize it's not just Catherine. It's also the youngest brother in the family, James, who is lying motionless on the ground. And it turns out that both of them were dead from a single gunshot wound. And then they found the oldest brother who's currently living in the house and

on the ground with a gunshot wound to the head. But unlike his brother, James and his mom, he was still alive. So obviously based on the crime scene and the fact that that last gunshot had gone off after the police had already arrived, they knew that they had walked in on an attempted double murder suicide. So Jacob was rushed to Metro health medical center to be treated for his life threatening injuries.

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25-year-old Jacob Stockdale. He was flown to Metro Health Medical Center. So late yesterday afternoon at about 4.36 p.m., our office received a 911 call from the residents. It was a landline call, not a cell phone call. It

It was a hang-up call. At that time, after we received the hang-up call, which we do in a number of cases on a daily basis, we responded deputies to the residents. Upon arrival at the residence, the deputies noticed that the front door was open. As they approached the house, they seen what they believed to be someone laying on the floor. They gave verbal commands. There was no response. And at that time, there was a gunshot that went off.

After the gunshot went off, they tactically approached the house when some backup arrived and discovered that the suspect, Jacob Stockdale, had

attempted suicide and shot himself when they arrived. And in the press conference, the sheriff also added that they had never been called out to this house before. They had no reason to believe that anyone in the home was in danger. And they also stated that the murder weapon itself was a 20-gauge shotgun. And after they first spoke with the father, they had no understanding for why this happened. You know, it's hard to, you know, kind of

surmise what the motive may have been. Um, you know, there's some speculation. Uh,

don't really want to get into that part of it, but, um, you know, we'll continue to investigate this case and try to determine if there's a motive, just do not know. So when this press conference was held, Jacob was actually still in critical care, hanging onto life. Obviously they're hoping that he survives and that they can interview him to determine a motive. Calvin and Charles were obviously alerted about what had happened back in

at the family's home and they were shocked. Calvin actually made a public statement and he said that James, the youngest of them, was always the catalyst of family fun. He was a gifted musician, loved dancing and people, and was working towards earning his business degree to get into business entertainment. He said he leaves behind many friends and a family that love him dearly. So three days after this happened, the remaining family members told the media that

They expected Jacob to make a full recovery. At that point, you know, he still had a few procedures and surgeries coming up, but they were pretty positive he was going to live. And Calvin also put out this statement on behalf of his family. He said,

The prayers and support for my family have been deeply appreciated. We ask for continued prayers for Jacob's healing. The community donated over $14,000 to a GoFundMe to raise funds for the memorial service for Catherine and James. Tim says that Catherine was an incredible wife. The two of them met in college at the Agronomy Club.

and stayed together ever since. He described her as having a strong love of learning, a passion for her Christian faith, natural health, and organic farming. So their GoFundMe eventually reached over $31,000 and those funds were used to help pay for Jacob's medical expenses as well.

which was pretty controversial. A lot of people had mixed opinions on that, but people are free to donate their money, right? James ended up requiring care at the Metro Health Medical Center for more than a year in order to recover from the self-inflicted gunshot wound to his head. And obviously, police had to wait for Jacob's condition to improve before they tried to determine a motive or formally charged him with anything. So eventually, September 26, 2018,

the Stark County Sheriff's Department filed the indictment against Jacob, and later that afternoon, he was made aware of the charges against him. But before they even had the chance to make the arrest themselves, Jacob actually turned himself in for his crimes on September 27th, 2018.

After that, Jacob's lawyer was given the pretrial date, which was scheduled to take place on October 9th, 2018 at 8:00 AM. And his bond was set for $1 million. When the pretrial date came around, Jacob's defense attorney filed a motion to determine competency. Obviously it's possible that Jacob was struggling with his mental health before the shooting even happened, but especially now that he had a horrific brain injury.

So this motion would determine whether or not he was even competent to stand trial. Jacob and his attorney ended up submitting a plea of not guilty by reason of insanity. I am also going to be filing the not guilty by reason of insanity plea and ask the court to order the appropriate evaluations for that plea also.

Eventually a psychiatric evaluation was performed on Jacob in 2019. However, based on the doctor's evaluation, they determined that Jacob did not have a mental illness that would prevent him from understanding the legal proceedings. So this obviously means that Jacob is going to be standing trial. However, his defense attorney was certain that he was not fit to stand trial. So he asked for a second opinion. So a second psychiatric evaluation was performed and,

And this time the doctor stated that there was cause for concern and that Jacob was not competent to stand trial. But this doctor also said that Jacob could be restored within a year if he was given intense treatment for his mental health. At that point, of course, Jacob's defense attorney wanted a third opinion, but that was denied because it would have cost taxpayers an extra $5,000. So after hearing the results of both psychiatric evaluations, the judge decided

declared Jacob incompetent to stand trial. And he ordered that Jacob be placed at Heartland Behavioral Healthcare Hospital for treatment. So because of this, the double murder trial was delayed until Jacob would be able to be deemed competent.

Additional assessments, of course, were given to Jacob while he was at Heartland, and the mental health officials at the treatment center actually requested the audio from Jacob's phone calls between himself and his family while he was at Stark County Jail. They believed that hearing those calls would help them determine if Jacob was competent because it was suspected that he may have been faking his mental illness.

they felt like at the very least they'd be able to get a better idea of who Jacob was by hearing those calls. But during his time at Heartland, he had some hiccups. He actually tried to escape twice. The first one was November 18th, 2019. This was just a few months after his treatment. And I guess he tried to escape by hiding between stacks of books in the library after hours.

They alleged on November 18th, Mr. Stockdale attempted to hide between the book stacks at the library. And then his second attempt was December of 2019. And he tried to get out of there by kind of blending in with people that were exiting the building and it did not work. So that brings us to January of 2020. And at that point, a psychiatrist determined that Jacob was unwell.

competent to stand trial. They actually put out a report that went over all of the different restoration activities that Jacob participated during his stay. He actually was there for a total of eight months and they said he made a lot of progress during that time. He was also required to participate in group therapy. And then they also did mock trials.

which they did to determine whether or not he could understand what was going on in these fake trials and see if he could follow along with his own trial in the future. The psychiatrist noted that during these mock trials, Jacob was able to understand plea bargaining. He was able to understand court terminology. He was able to follow trial

process and had the capacity to respond with relevant responses. So this report gave the judge enough reason to deem Jacob competent. But even though he was at that point deemed competent, he still had to go through a sanity hearing.

This is a hearing that would determine if Jacob would spend his sentence in jail or back in the mental health facility. And this was scheduled for March 30th, 2020. And I'm sure March of 2020 rings a bell for all of you. That's really around the time that the world was locked down and we all started really feeling the effects of the pandemic. And as we all remember, there was hope that two weeks would bring us back to normal, stop the spread enough for us to get

back to normal life. And because of this, the sanity hearing was rescheduled for 8 a.m. on May 4th. But as we all know, May 4th came around and COVID was still an issue. So the hearing was pushed back again until June 22nd. However, two more delays occurred. So then the sanity hearing was pushed to September 8th.

8th, 2020. And because COVID was still raging at that point and long after, Jacob was teleconferenced in to the hearing from Heartland Behavioral Medical Center. They are recommending that the least restrictive environment for Mr. Stockdale while considering community safety is to start counting jail. At that point, I sided with the defense and sent him to Heartland for the purpose of getting restored his competency.

we had on February 19th. Dr. Puntel indicated that the competency was restored. And through the hearing, Jacob often did not respond or even acknowledge the judge. And this became an issue. Mr. Stockdale, are you able to hear me? First of all, officer, can you hear me? Yes, sir, I can hear you. Okay, thank you. Mr. Stockdale, I am Judge Frank Forchoni. Are you able to hear me today? Yes.

Okay, he is not responding. My first concern was whether they could hear and the officer standing behind him can hear. Mr. Stockdale, can you see your lawyers here today, Mr. Kazanis and Mr. Graham? Okay, again, he's not responding. His attorney responded to this, saying that Jacob had difficulty processing and speaking when using technology or potentially even had some fear doing it, which is why he didn't speak.

which would kind of make sense considering he was taught to be so afraid of technology his whole life growing up. So an additional psychologist found Jacob mentally sane on December 31st, 2020. So a trial date was set with the intention that he would be serving his sentence in a prison. The original trial date was set for January 26th, 2021. And because postponing is sort of a theme in this case,

Of course, that was delayed as well. And it was actually a spike in COVID cases that made the trial be delayed to May 4th, 2021. So a new pretrial hearing was set for February 11th, which Jacob also attended virtually.

And in this hearing, the judge went over Jacob's behavior during his time at Heartland Behavioral, including his two escape attempts. He also reviewed a letter from one of Jacob's doctors, which stated that they believe Jacob was now able to wait out his trial and sentencing in Stark County Jail. During these incidents, he attempted to hide in the hospital library after closing hours.

following this incident and being restricted to the unit. A couple weeks later he subsequently attempted to blend in with a group of patients who were leaving the unit. Later they're going to say Mr. Stockdale's current level of functioning, which is more stable, better allows him for him to carry out any potential behaviors or plans he may have.

They are recommending that the least restrictive environment for Mr. Stockdale while considering community safety is to start counting jail. The judge also pointed out that Jacob made a comment to an employee at Heartland Behavioral that his new haircut made him look like his cousin.

and that he would be able to walk out if he were given a set of keys. With this new haircut, he resembled his cousin. If he were able to get keys to the facility, he could walk out. So after laying all the evidence out against Jacob and noting a good deal of his bad behavior while in rehab, Jacob's defense lawyer had a chance to speak. Your Honor, I would say that Jacob has...

So as I mentioned earlier, it was put out in a statement by the family that

by Calvin that they forgive Jacob for what he did. And that continued on. By the time the trial came around, the family was very open about the fact that they forgive him and they wanted the lightest sentence possible. He was facing 30 years in prison and their family literally begged the judge to let him off as easy as possible. They were really hoping that the judge would give him some leniency,

but to everyone's surprise, Jacob didn't make it to trial. One week before he was supposed to sit before a jury, Jacob pled guilty to the double murder of his mother and brother. And he never offered up a motive for why he did it. Although

Most people suspect it had something to do with his very strict upbringing. So now Jacob is serving 30 years to life in prison, 15 for each murder. Jacob Stockdale was charged this week in the 2017 murders of his mother and brother, Catherine and James Stockdale. The 26-year-old Stark County man turned himself in Thursday. He was recovered

from a self-inflicted gunshot wound stemming from the 2017 incident. The Stockdale family has declined to speak about the case or their thoughts, but they have been very clear through it all that they forgive Jacob and that they love

him. And Jacob is eligible for parole in 2048. And to this day, we don't have any answers about why he did this. People can only speculate. And a lot of that speculation comes, of course, from the wife swap episode. But we don't know if there was like a specific event that really sent him over the edge or if this was something he was planning for a while. None of those details are out. But it really does seem that

Jacob's life was so strict that he was under so much pressure that he snapped. But of course, that's just an assumption and people have different opinions. So I definitely want to know what you think, of course.

What do you think sent Jacob over the edge? This case is just so sad all around. It really is. I want to hear what you guys think though. And if you think his sentence was justified, if you think he should have gotten a harsher sentence, a lesser sentence. And I wish there was more of an answer to make sense of this, but that's all we have. And I've got to say now watching that wife swap episode, you see it with a whole different view in mind. Like,

It is incredibly eerie. That is going to be it for me today, guys. Thank you for joining me for another episode. And make sure you follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. It really does help me out. If you want to watch the video version of this show, you can find it on my YouTube channel, which will be linked, or you can just search Kendall Ray. I will be back with another episode soon, but until then, stay safe out there.