WWTDM: Gary Oldman
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey there, Chicago. I'm Ayesha Roscoe, filling in for Bill Curtis. And this was supposed to be my day off, but I'm here. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Ayesha. Thank you.

Thank you all so much. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the fabulous actor Gary Oldman about his hit spy show, Slow Horses. But first, we are so excited to welcome Ayesha Roscoe to our show. Thank you.

She is the host of Weekend Edition Sunday. She's going to be our special guest, judge and scorekeeper, filling in for Bill. And I have to ask you, Ayesha, you have one of the most prestigious gigs at NPR News. You host one of the big shows. Why in the world would you ever want to do this? Well, you know, look, I have three kids, so anything to get out of the house, I just got to get. I understand. Yeah.

I needed just some mommy time. I get that, you know. All right. Well, Aisha, it's great to have you on the show. Out there, you want to be in the show. It's easy. Just give us a call and you'll win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi. This is Jamie from Madison, Wisconsin. Hey, Jamie. How are things in Madison? Good.

They're awesome. I am so glad. That is one of my favorite cities in the world. Beautiful college town in the center of Wisconsin. What do you do there? I run the Dane County Farmer's Market, the largest producer-only farmer's market in the country. That is fabulous. Yeah.

There's nothing that's going to get you more crowd applause on NPR than you run a farmer's market. Right. You can't see this, but everybody here is standing up there. People are taking their underwear off and throwing them at the stage. We're not her. Well, welcome to the show, Jamie. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, you just heard him. He's an actor, writer, and the director of Francis Ford Coppola's Megalopolis. It's Peter Gross. What?

Next, he's a comedian turned fashion designer who will be premiering his fall winter line on October 12th at Chicago Fashion Week. It's the Prince of Bronzeville. It's Brian Babylon. And finally, she's a comedian and writer for TV shows like Late Night with Seth Meyers and Pachinko, which is streaming now on Apple TV. It's Karen Chee.

So you are going to play Who's Ayesha this time. Ayesha Roscoe filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to do this?

Yep. All right. Your first quote is from New York Mayor Eric Adams. You take out the garbage, you see one run across your feet, you think about it all day. That was Adams speaking at this week's first ever National Summit to discuss the battle against what? Rats. Rats, yes. New York City hosted the National Urban Rat Summit this week.

Joined by delegations from Chicago, Boston, Seattle, and other disgusting cities. Eric Adams has made battling rats the centerpiece of his time as mayor, proving that rats are the only constituency not currently bribing someone in the Adams administration. Thank you.

Why would he pick a battle he knows he can't win? I know. That's like, you're never going to beat the rats, bro. Yeah, it's like, it's me versus the mosquitoes. And I want you to judge me at the end of the summer. If you got one mosquito bite, they won. I got to say, as a New Yorker, I feel like it's not the New Yorkers who are like trying to get rid of rats. It's actually just very nice of the rats to let us live in their city. Really? You know, you know.

The one thing about New York life and rats is you almost turn into Michael Jackson videos because he's always quick. You know what I'm saying? We had a rat. Everything is like quick neck motions of your peripheral vision. Like, oh, there was a rat. And that's why. And everybody's going, yeah. Yeah.

The summit invited pest control experts and scientists from across the nation to discuss tips and strategies, and it was a really nice little touch. In the sort of classic New York tradition, each visiting expert had a rat waiting in their hotel room for them when they arrived. I know. I bet all those people were like, can we do this somewhere other than New York City? How about a rat summit where we talk about the rats, but we're in Miami? That would be nice. All right. Jamie. Jamie.

Jamie, for your next quote, here is someone on TikTok gushing about their new fun pastime. You get to eat at your desk, you get weekends off, and you get to wear cute little outfits. That was one of the thousands of young people who are now posting videos just to brag about their what.

I have no idea. What's strange here is this is the sort of thing we thought young people nowadays hated and would never do. Remember she said you get to eat at your desk and you get weekends off.

Working a 40-hour work week. Exactly. Working office jobs. Forget about being an artist or an influencer. Now the coolest thing you can be is an entry-level customer service manager. People used to go on about their cool side hustles. Now everybody is bragging about their front hustle.

One of these so-called corporate girlies on TikTok listed the benefits of an office job as, quote, get to eat at your desk, listen to music and podcasts. You get weekends off and free coffee. You know who else gets all those benefits? An unemployed person who goes to AA meetings. I think it's also just like...

the Gen Z obsession with making everything nameable and a thing and a trend. At some point, they're going to be like, hey, I'm just sitting here. I'm doing this cool thing with my lungs where they squeeze in and air comes out of them. And then I'm like, wait a minute. I need more air in them. So I breathe in. Hashtag breath life. Everything has to be named. And like...

Hold something. You're just a classic oxygen girly. Yeah. The respiration challenge was like so 2023. If you fail the respiration challenge, you don't even deserve to live. I'm sorry to be mean, but if you can't breathe, you don't deserve to live. All right.

Jamie, your last quote is from an interview that the BBC did. We're afraid somebody will tell us we smell. That was an environmentalist joining the growing number of experts who say that what daily habit is unnecessary?

Bathing. Bathing, yes, exactly right. Experts say that there is no actual health benefit to a daily shower. And we only do it because, as you heard, we don't want other people to think we smell.

Now, I might be wrong, but doesn't that sound like a good enough reason? Who was this expert? Jabba the Hutt? You don't need to sound like that. I think this is just the patchouli lobbyists.

Trying to like... The idea is that you don't need to do it. You especially don't need to clean yourself with soap every day because that actually hurts your healthy biome. Patchouli BS. Patchouli BS. And I keep reading it. It's like, you only need to do it if you sweat excessively. And I'm like, well, I'm out. Okay. Okay.

So if you have a day where you don't sweat, you don't really do much, and you're like, I'm not going to see anybody and no one's going to smell me, then don't shower. If you're depressed. Yeah, right. But don't tell anybody you don't shower. Like, say that to yourself. I think maybe if you don't shower enough,

you won't be able to keep it to yourself. Exactly. It would be very obvious. You only have to shower and the waves of stink are visibly leaving your body like a mirage. Like cartoonish stink lines. Have you noticed that you're much dirtier at hotel towels when you dry off?

You're like much dirtier. Like, wow. I've noticed that. Have you noticed that? Because they're so white. They're so white. They're so white and clean. You're like, Jesus Christ, is this melanin? It's like... The Peters are like, no, we've never experienced this. Yeah, I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. I've never heard of that. They're like, our towels get even whiter when we're hot. I've never heard of that.

I love a good hotel towel. Aisha, how did Jamie do on our quiz? She killed it. She's, you know, three out of three. There you go, Jamie. Well done. Thank you so much for playing. That's funny. Thank you. I'll look for you at the farmer's market when I am next in Madison during season. Absolutely. Bye-bye. Take care. Bye-bye.

Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Brian, the latest dating trend on social media is the 666 method. A woman, or I guess anyone, who uses it will be looking for what?

I mean, is it not? It's not the devil. It's not Satan. It's not the Antichrist. It's not the Antichrist. Six, six, six. Six, six, six. They refer to six measurements. Okay. Rather, I should say three measurements that will have to be at least six. So six feet tall. Right. Six figure salary. Right. Right.

Not what Karen wants you to say. Not what Karen wants you to say. I got two out of three. You got two. You got six feet tall. Six feet tall. Six figure salary. And it is a physical attribute, but it's not what Karen is constantly trying to get you to say. I'm not. I'm not. The listener at home, I'm being so rude. I'll give you a hint. This is what you want to see when he takes his shirt off. Oh, six pack. Right. Six pack. Six nipples. Six feet tall. Yeah. Six figure salary and a six pack. Because the thing is...

I only have like four pecs. Yeah. And I was like, I'm just kidding. I will explain all. The 6-6 rule has been around for years, but recently it's having a resurgence as women are trying to be much more specific about what they're looking for in the dating apps. It's a very efficient way to streamline the dating process, find your ideal man, and also get catfished.

It's like, here's the third thing to be superficial about. Exactly. So this is a hashtag on the dating app. It is. Like, walks on the beach, looking for 666. Yep, yep. But if you're a warlock, you're like, oh, yeah. Walking alone in my business. I lifted my eyes. My God, what is this?

Coming up, our panelists hit the bullseye in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Ayesha Roscoe. We're playing this week with Peter Gross, Brian Babylon, and Karen Chee. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thanks, Ayesha. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air or you can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, which is at WaitWaitNPR to find all that information. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Natalie from Plainfield, Illinois. Hey, Natalie, how are you? I'm good, how are you? We've got some Plainfield fans here in Chicago. What do you do there? I'm an elementary school teacher. Yes! Yes!

You've got even more fans of elementary school teachers. Well, welcome to the show, Natalie. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Aisha, what is Natalie's topic? It happened at Target. Who?

Doesn't love Target. You can get anything there. You can get your groceries, your latest fashions, you get your credit card declined. Anyway, this week we learned about something really unusual that went down at one particular Target store. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real one. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. All right. First, let's hear from Brian Babylon.

Portland, Maine. Portland's Target store is in damage control after the latest eco-friendly product, the Organic Non-Toxic Vegan Bed Bug Extermination Kit, led to a full-blown cockroach takeover. The kit, priced at $90, came with everything the eco-minded person who wants to get rid of bed bugs needed. Essential oils, special natural detergents, and of course, a colony of cockroaches and a hemp bird.

hemp burlap pouch, since cockroaches are the natural predator of bed bugs. The idea is once the bed bugs were gone, the roaches would just leave, right? Spoiler, wrong. They didn't leave. Instead, they multiplied in the Target store faster than a kombucha recipe at a Portland potluck.

Jasper Moonbeam, an elementary teacher, had a close encounter in the coffee aisle. I reached for my Fairtrade espresso and then bam, a cockroach runs across my hand. I haven't screamed like that since the farmer's market ran out of heirloom tomatoes. Target is offering refunds. Pixar is thinking about making this into a movie. And Portland's cockroach population is booming sustainably, of course. Applause.

The eco-friendly organic bed bug kit led to a cockroach infestation at a Target in Portland, Maine. Your next trip to Target comes from Karen Chee. Drivers in Ohio were alarmed on Sunday morning when they saw an SUV driving erratically on the freeway. Eyewitness Justin Kimmery told the New York Times that he saw a car going, quote, all over the road. When Kimmery pulled up by the car to investigate himself, he was shocked.

He couldn't see anyone behind the wheel. Was it a ghost or a self-driving car? No, it was the scariest thing of all, an eight-year-old girl. It's true. Neighborhood cameras show a spunky elementary schooler in Bedford, Ohio, leaving home at 7 a.m., hopping into her mom's Nissan Rogue, and driving 13 miles to Target with shocking success.

As well as $400 of her parents' money. And her parents apparently didn't even notice she had left the house until two hours later. Police located the girl sitting in the Target Starbucks where she was enjoying a Frappuccino and... And, I assume, quietly regretting the life choices that led her there. An eight-year-old girl takes herself in her parents' car down to the local Target...

13 miles away. Your last shopping topic comes from Peter Gross. "Best friends Jennifer Insull and Leah Golmy are managers at the Target and the Crossgates Mall in Albany, New York, and are big Francophiles. After the Olympics in Paris this summer, they had a brainstorm. 'Everyone jokingly calls Target 'Tar-jay,'' Golmy told News 32 Albany. 'So we thought, what if we made our Target totally French?'

This week they did just that. Every sign was rewritten in French, the cheese aisle in the grocery section was stocked with stinky blue cheeses, and the employees smoked, were rude to the customers, and went on strike every 20 minutes. LAUGHTER

Reaction to the Frenchification varied. Some were downright confused. I had no idea what they were saying, and I thought I was having a stroke. The biggest negative reaction came not from customers, but from overly patriotic employees at a different store in the mall who responded by changing the name of their store to Oh Bone Pain. Oh Bone Pain.

And selling deep-fried bacon-wrapped hot dogs dipped in nacho cheese, ketchup, and whipped cream. All right. Something interesting happened at a particular Target location this last week.

Was it from Brian Babylon, a target in Portland, Maine, was infested by cockroaches, which came in their new organic bed bug eradication kits? Was it from Karen Chee, a target in Ohio was visited by an eight-year-old girl who managed to drive their parents' car? Or from Peter Gross, a target in upstate New York converted for real into a tarjay?

Which of these was the real target-oriented story in the news we found? Well, speaking as someone who teaches many eight-year-olds, I'm going to go with Karen's story. You're going to go with Karen's story, little girl. The audience seems to agree. Well, we actually, to bring you the real story, spoke to the person who covered this for the New York Times. An eight-year-old girl was found at the Target without a scratch, just a frappuccino in hand and a busted mailbox.

That was Gina Sherlis, who reported on the tiny shopper story for The Times. Congratulations, Natalie. You got it right. You earned a point for camera, but more importantly, you have won our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Thank you so much. Thank you. Congratulations, and congratulations on all the good work you do. Thank you. Take care. Bye. She's eating up the road with the shark's tooth grip All the other cars think they're standing still And just a little warning if I wear a good

This car is too much. I tell you, man, she's unreal. She's a first class super fast automobile. A first class super fast automobile.

And now the game we call Not My Job. Decades ago, James Bond established the stereotype of the British spy. Handsome, suave, perfectly dressed with impeccable manners. We're happy to report that is now obsolete. The new model MI5 agent is the slovenly, flatulent Jackson Lamb, played by Gary Oldman. Thank you.

In the hit Apple TV series, Slow Horses, we are delighted to talk to him now. Gary Oldman, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you.

So let's start at the beginning. Tell us about your character in the show, Jackson Lamb. Jackson Lamb, it was once a very, very good agent working for, you know, MI5. What we see when we meet him in Slow Horses is the sort of smoldering embers of a man that was...

Once legendary. In my view, and I've been around and I've seen a lot of great TV, film, theater. I think that Jackson Lamb has the greatest character introduction I have ever seen. When we meet Jackson Lamb, he's having a nap in the office.

And he farts himself awake. I mean, let's face it, you've done a lot of good work in your career, Gary, but I don't know if you've ever done anything that immediately evocative. No, but we do. I never thought I'd see the day where I'm having email exchanges with the director talking about the quality of farts.

But because, you know, I'm not a meth actor, so they have to dub it off. Or should I say I'm not a methane actor? Anyway, so I find the... You know, they dub on a sound and then I'm exchanging emails with the director saying, you know, it is on a leather seat, so that one...

It should be more robust. That's perfect. A fuller sound and occasionally I might write, can we make it direct and a little wet around the edges? I'm

I'm imagining, first of all, a little disappointed to find out it wasn't you farting, but we understand that. It's all CGI these days. We know this. But I'm wondering because, let's face it, Jackson Lamb farts a lot in the course of his day, and I'm assuming that they, the sound designers, must have like a whole file of farts that are chosen from. I would say...

I was going to ask, is it like when you have a stand-in? Like, you know, if someone doesn't want to do a nude scene, they have a stand-in. Is there somebody who is farting in place of you? Yeah. Do you have a colon double? And actually, shouldn't that be the person nominated for an Emmy? Yeah.

You're a little selfish, Gary. No, I'm sure there's someone in the room. Karen, to answer your question, I'm sure there's someone in the room. There has to be. And you were nominated for an Emmy. You were there. If I'm not mistaken, you were caught up in the great Shogun sweep of all the awards, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, they were... I think they were nominated for 14 and they won 25. It's amazing. LAUGHTER

do they do that? Did you have a speech ready? I've always wondered about that. Yeah, I think it's polite. And what do you do with it if you don't get to use it? That's the other question. Well, more recently, my wife has been keeping them and throwing them sort of in a box in the archive, as it were. How many do you have? Well, I've lost a lot. LAUGHTER

I've got quite a collection. It's kind of fascinating, though. You don't just use the same one. Don't name your agent, just say your agent. You could use it for years. Now, what you can do, though, is because you don't win and you don't get to speak it...

No one knows. So what you do is you can dig one out from years ago and just change. It's so good. Because you go, oh, that was a good one.

I never got to say that. Yeah, that was a good one. So let me dig that one out and kind of move with you. It's sort of cut and paste, the thing. It's like you don't make references to some rights or something of a country that doesn't exist anymore. The people of Yugoslavia need their...

Gary, it is an absolute pleasure to talk to you again. And once again, we have asked you here to play a game, and this time we are calling it... The Slowest Horses of All.

You, of course, star in slow horses, as we have discussed, so we thought we'd ask you about the very slowest horses, that is, hobby horses. Hobby horses are, of course, the toy. It's a stick with a horse's head. And people actually ride these hobby horses in competitive events called hobby horsing, where they go around gates and jump over fences and do dressage, just like racers.

real horses. So we're going to ask you three questions about hobby horsing. Get two of them right. You will win our prize. For one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they may choose for their voicemail. Ayesha, who is Gary Oldman playing for? Martin Oliver of Los Angeles, California. Ready to do this? Have you heard or seen hobby horsing? I have seen it.

Yeah, it's pretty out there. It's pretty out there. So, now, if you've watched it, and there are many videos online, you can watch them, you'll notice that it's very popular with young girls. But, according to Hobby Horse Riders Australia, boys are starting to get interested in the sport, but with a notable change. What is it? A, they prefer hobby warhorsing with jousts.

B, they make and ride hobby dinosaurs. Or C, boys' rules allow them to turn the horses around and pretend the sticks are guns. I'm going to go with jousting. You're going to go with jousting. That is a natural choice, but it's actually hobby dinosaurs. My three-year-old, by the way, could have explained this to you, but...

You still have two more chances, so you're all good here. The very first American Hobby Horse Championships were held just last month in Michigan. And the competitors who came had to deal with some significant obstacles, such as which of these? A, due to a quirk in Michigan law...

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna have to go with C. No, I'm afraid it was B. They could not bring the hobby horses onto the plane because they are essentially four foot long sticks. You could use them as a weapon. Okay, that was the obvious one. Yeah, I know. All right, you have one more chance here. Let's see what happens. Some competitors use the hobby horse for every event.

You know, when it's time to retire your loyal hobby horse, don't worry because you can always do what? A, bring them to Lincoln, Massachusetts where they can live out the end of their days with other hobby and rocking horses in a grassy kind of pasture. B, just break them in half to create two hobby ponies. Yeah.

Or C, send them to a factory to be turned into wood glue. LAUGHTER I'm thinking, when you're done with the horse... Yeah. ..I'm not saying that you literally turn it into two ponies, but you just snap this thing over your knee and throw it in the bin. LAUGHTER No, it was actually A. LAUGHTER

Nobody knows who put the first rocking horse in this pasture near Lincoln, Massachusetts, but it has been joined over the years by dozens more hobby horses, rocking horses. So, Aisha? Yeah. How did...

Oscar winning and sometimes frankly a little intimidating actor Gary Oldman do on our quiz well you know I think that because he has lost a lot and with the Emmys and things like that I think we should give it to him I think you're right you know

There's always a winner here. If you happen to still have the Emmy speech handy, you can roll it out now. Well, congratulations on this big win. I hope it makes up for everything.

Gary Oldman is an Oscar-winning actor, and if you have not yet watched him in the show Slow Horses on Apple TV, I envy you because you get to start from the beginning. Gary Oldman, thank you so much for joining us. I'm Wade White. What a pleasure to talk to you again. Take care. Awesome.

In just a minute, Ayesha introduces you to a very big, very small new international superstar. And our listener, Limerick Challenge, call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Aisha Roscoe. We're playing this week with Brian Babylon, Peter Gross, and Karen Chee. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Aisha. In just a minute. Thank you.

In just a minute, Aisha gets in a fight with a porky rhyme. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, according to the New York Times this week, there's something that we thought only happened to toddlers, but now we know it happens to adults, too. What is it? They make in their pants. LAUGHTER

Peter, what did you do? We have meltdowns. We have tantrums. Yes, tantrums. That's the answer. Psychologists have suggested that the reason small kids often have temper tantrums in the afternoon is because of, quote, after school restraint collapse. The idea is they've been at school, preschool, whatever, behaving all day, following orders. They get home.

All that pent-up stress comes pouring out. And adults have the same experience, right? I mean, so yeah, don't get upset at them. It's just a case of the terrible 32s. That is true. After I've behaved so well on this panel, I always go back

and just trash the dressing room. Yeah. I just curse like crazy. I mean, if you think about it, it makes sense because, you know, adults, what do you do? You go to work, right? You're dealing with crises. You're dealing with stress. You just repress it all. You don't react. Then you go home and you go directly into family life and you blow up because you're

just don't have a moment to just like decompress first and also because they wanted blueberries but not these blueberries I hate these blueberries go away also alcohol I think happens yeah yeah Brian this year's hottest aesthetic for decorating your home is being inspired by a certain group of people who are they

How does it... Like the vibe? Like the vibe. Oh, yeah, yeah. The aesthetic, the look. I don't know. Give me a hint on that. It's amazing how you can refresh the look in your house when you got the house. What? No. Oh, realtors. No. No, I don't know. What do you... When you got the house? Homeowners? People who buy a house? This is a dumb question. This is a dumb question. Like, what do you mean? People who have bought homes? Let's just...

Group, guess this. It's not homeowners? Garden gnomes? I'll give it a hint. Basically, it's people who have been able to free themselves from the little voice that was holding them back because they got the house and the little voice had to move back in with his mom. Is it recently divorced people? It is. What? It's actually called Divorced Mom Corps. That's the one.

Cottagecore. Divorced momcore is what this is called. Divorced dadcore is like, ugh. That's rough. Oh, yeah. You don't want to decorate divorced dadcore. You don't want to do that. See that coffee table? Domino's box. Divorced momcore, it's all about apparently, you know, the fact that these women finally get to do exactly what they want, indulge the women. Without a man telling them what to do. Exactly. Exactly.

In Divorced Mom Corps, quote, natural light floods the rooms and there's a certain peace that comes with knowing every item in the house reflects their taste, unquote. Like they take down that live, laugh, love sign and put up the live, love, who's laughing now? Yeah.

Wait a second. If I know most heterosexual couples, the woman is the one who put up the live, laugh, love sign. It wasn't like, oh, man, I got rid of my husband's, like, every, you know, this is a knitting house or whatever. Those things are put up by women. My husband is like, it's wine o'clock. Exactly. I'll be taking this wine o'clock thing and this ball of yarn.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. You should also check out this week's edition of our How to Do Everything podcast featuring the great Tom Hanks and a fact that will change the way you look at chimpanzees forever.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Alex Pilot from Knoxville, Tennessee. Hey, how are things in Knoxville, Alex? They're very good. I'm starting to finally feel like fall. Oh, I'm so glad to hear it. Fall is beautiful in Tennessee. What do you do there? I'm a medical writer by day, and I make stained glass on evenings and weekends. Oh, wow, that's incredibly cool. Now, stained glass often is, like, representational. Do you, like, do pictures of something in your stained glass?

I pretty much do nature stuff. I like to make flowers and insects and bats and kind of a mix of pretty and creepy and weird things and all of the above. Well, Alex, welcome to the show. Aisha Rasko right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner. You ready to go? Sure thing. Here is your first limerick.

At the zoo, the lines move at a clippo, wave hello, take a pic, and then dippo. Mudang's rosy cheeks make the visitors shriek, but move on, you can't crowd this young...

Yes, the newest international megastar is Mu Deng, a baby pygmy hippo born in a Thai zoo. Her keeper posted some photos of her on Facebook soon after she was born, and she went globally viral so quickly, quarterback Aaron Rodgers thinks she's a hoax. Mu Deng, the name roughly translates to bouncy pork, is so irresistibly adorable that...

That this is all true, she has become a makeup influencer. Sephora Thailand put up a picture of her with the tip, wear your blush like a baby hippo. Which means like just wallow in mud, right? Here, Alex, is your next limerick.

The pilot gets on the air, sweet. Will the passengers please take their seat? And do not expose your stinky, gross toes. Please refrain from exposing bare feet. Yes. Yes.

You got the word right and the emotion. People are learning just this week that flying barefoot isn't just something that will make people glare at you and secretly text about you.

It can actually get you kicked off the plane now. Except if you're in an exit row in an emergency, bare feet count as an extra pair of hands. So people like burying their feet on airplanes have become such a problem that the airlines have had to specify dress requirements as official policies. So, for example, American Airlines policy now prohibits, quote, offensive clothing and bare feet.

Wow. So if you really want to make flight attendants nuts, just wear offensive shoes and socks. What are they going to do? Make you take them off.

Can they really kick people off points? They really can. God bless it. Yeah, I know. Finally, something good in the news, right? But what if you're wearing flip-flops? Does that count if you take your flip-flops off? Leave them on. Leave them on. You have to leave them on? But your foot's already out. I've been sitting down, and I've seen toes pop from me. It's always like out your periphery. It's like, that's a toe there. Hello, Brian. Yeah, it's like that's...

All right, here is your last limerick. Gastric winds blow our home life apart, so we found a solution that's smart. We go out for a walk and make sure that we talk so my partner can't tell when I... Fart. Yes, indeed. Uh...

Canadian actor, TV host, and food blogger Marilyn Smith is recommending what she calls nightly fart walks with your partner to help maintain healthy blood sugar and unhealthy boundaries. So we all know that walking right after a meal can help regulate your blood sugar, keep it from spiking. But as Smith says, we eat a lot of fiber, so we have gas, and you fart when you walk.

So she and her husband enjoy what they now refer to as their regular fart walks. It's another way just to let your partner of many years know that you have just given up. Yes.

That's what I was thinking. But that's assuming that your stomach has to be on that cycle. Like, what if it's not, hey, man, I'm just going to wait until you go to bed to let this out. Versus right after you eat and a walk, what if the fart's not ready to leave? That's why they're perfect partners for each other because they have the same, like, fart cycle. And think. And think. Yeah. Yeah.

That's when you know. That's when you know. That's when you know it's love. Yeah, my girlfriend and I have a thing where we're like, oh my God, same thought. We were thinking the same thing. And people are like, same fart. Right. I was farting the same time that you were. It's actually kind of nice that they do it as a couple, but why do they make their kid come along to get a score? Aisha, how did Alex do in our quiz? He did an amazing job. Three out of three. Perfect score. Well done. Congratulations. Thanks. Thank you.

Bye.

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Like SimpliSafe. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Aisha, can you give us the scores? Okay, so Peter has three, Brian has two, and Karen has four. Whoa. Yes.

All right. Well, this means, Brian, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Israel took credit for the thousands of electronic devices that exploded in blank. All right.

Lebanon. Right. On Thursday, scientists again linked animals at a market in Wuhan with the early spread of blank. Coronavirus. Right. This week, the Justice Department announced they were seeking over $100 million from the owners of the ship that destroyed the Key Bridge in blank. Baltimore. Right. On Tuesday, Senate Republicans blocked a bill that would have guaranteed access nationwide to blank.

IVF? Yes, in vitro fertilization. This week, experts suggested that one effective way to avoid getting microplastics in your brain is to stop blanking.

Cocaine? No. The answer is breathing. Oh. On Tuesday, the harvest supermoon coincided with a partial lunar blank. Eclipse? Right. On Monday, a leading group of pediatricians warned against buying a blank for your kids. iPad? No, trampoline. This week, Australia released data from 2023 revealing that nearly half of all airplane noise complaints came from blank. Um...

Didgeridoos? No, came from the very same guy. Oh, yeah. His name is Jackie O'Didgeridoo. Out of the 51,000 noise complaints called in to the Australian Aviation Authority last year, 21,000 came from just one man in Perth, Australia. That means that on average he called to complain 59 times a day for an entire year.

It's gotten so bad that when you call the 800 number, they put up four complaints. The automated message just says, press one for Spanish and two if this is Jim again. Aisha, how did Brian do in our quiz? So Brian got five right for 10 more points, and Brian now has 12 points and the lead. All right. Very good, Brian. Thank you.

Peter, I believe you are up next. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Federal Reserve announced a half-point blank cut. Interest rates. Right. Three days after a failed assassination attempt, blank held a rally in Michigan. Trump. Right. This week, the WHO declared blank resistant infections a global health risk. Antibiotic? Right. After denying a report detailing shocking comments left on a porn site, Mark Robinson vowed to stay in the race for governor of blank.

Pornville. North Carolina. Right. This week, a beverage maker in Columbia challenged Coca-Cola's trademark so they could freely sell their own drink blank.

Cola-coka. No, close. Coca-pola. This week, research that led to the creation of obesity drugs like blank won the Lasker Medical Award. Was that big? Right. This week, the hottest calendar for 2025 went on sale. It features a year's worth of pictures of cats showing off blank. They're six-packs. No, they're testicles.

No one knows what you're thinking. Okay, great. Finally, it's here, but only 12 months? Of cat testicles? No, no. Don't worry. This is a daily calendar. It'll make the perfect gift for anyone looking for a good laugh or hoping to test just how strict their office's HR policy is.

Ayesha, how did Peter do on our quiz? So Peter got five right for ten more points, and so he now has 13, and Karen needs five more to win. All right, then. Karen, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a judge denied bail to hip-hop mogul blank. Did he? Yes, also known as Sean Combs. According to experts, the Starlink satellites launched by blank are interfering with astronomical observations. Russia? Russia?

No, they launched by Elon Musk. This week, the Teamsters Union declined to endorse a candidate for blank. President. Right. According to a new study, three cups of blank a day may be good for your heart. Coffee? Right. This week, a state senator in Kentucky is recovering well after he drove blank into blank. Um, a car into a hay bale. No, a riding lawnmower into his swimming pool. No.

This week police dispatchers in Dover, Delaware are being praised for their quick actions and helping rescue a sinking boat in blank. The ocean. You could have just said the water. It would have been even more. It was actually in Dover, England.

When a man saw his brother's boat was sinking in the English Channel, he quickly Googled the phone number for the Dover police, clicked the first result, and was connected to a dispatcher 3,500 miles away in Dover, Delaware. Thankfully, the operators acted quickly. They got rescue services dispatched to the sinking ship, and they should arrive sometime within the next two months. Ayesha, did Karen Chee do well enough to win? No. Oh. No. Oh.

So Karen got three right for six more points. So with 13 points, Peter is this week's champion. Well done.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the big news to come out of the rat summit in New York City. But first, let me tell you all that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka, Reiser Limerick, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre.

And this week, we want to note the passing of our friend, the journalist and author, Neil King Jr. He did a lot of remarkable things in his life. But to us, the most impressive was helping to raise his daughter, Lillian King, our beloved colleague and friend here at Wait, Wait. Our condolences to Lillian, her sister, Frances, and their mother, Shayla Murray. We love you, Tilly.

BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Nurnbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Monica Hickey, our celebrity pygmy hippo, is Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical directions from Lorna White. Her CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what would be the big news out of the big rap summit in New York City? Brian Babylon.

Rats will get a tax break for adopting Ninja Turtles. Karen Chee. We're going to stop giving them grass. And Peter Gross. Gary Oldman will unveil his flawless, brilliant plan to turn all the rats into wood glue. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much. Aisha Roscoe just took a fabulous job.

Filling Bo Curtis's impressive shoes. Thanks also to Karen Chee, Brian Babylon, and Peter Gross. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theater. Each and every one of you. Thanks to everybody who's listening at home or wherever you may be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week in Kansas City mode. This is NPR.

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