WWDTM: Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Filling in for Bill Curtis, I'm the man who's been making the NPR Wine Club sound cool since 2022, Chioki Iansen. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thanks, everybody. Thank you so much. Yay, yay.

We have a fabulous show planned for you today. It's a special one because later on we are going to be joined on stage by the Secretary of the Treasury, Janet Yellen. Very excited. Yay! It's an important day for us. As you know, anything she says can move the market. So I would suggest in the 20 minutes or so before we get to ask her questions, convert all of your assets into gold. But

But why not multitask and do that while you call in to play our games? The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Caroline calling from Queens, New York. Hey, how are things in Queens? Oh, you know, foggy, rainy, much like it is elsewhere. I am told that Queens is now the hip new borough to be in. Is that the case?

I hope so, because I've been here for about 10 years, so that would make me kind of cool. Do you want to go outside and see if it's hip yet? We'll wait. They're closing stuff on my block that's been here for 70 years, so I think it's probably cool, but no longer cool. I see. Well, welcome to the show, Carolyn. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, he is the writer of the style memo for the Washington Post. It's Shane O'Neill. Hi, and thanks. Hello. Hello.

Next, it's a correspondent for The Daily Show and author of the new book, Hello Friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny, and Day Jobs. It's Dulce Sloan. Yay! Hello, friends! And he is a comedian performing at the Netflix Is a Joke Festival in Los Angeles on May 3rd. It's Tom Papa. Hello! Yay!

Welcome to the show, Carolyn. You're going to play Who's Chioki this time? Chioki Ianson filling in for Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations in this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. You ready to go? God, I hope so. So do we all. Your first quote is from Ryan Gosling, who is star of last year's Barbie movie.

There's no Ken without Barbie. Gosling was defending the movie's director, Greta Gerwig, and its star, Margot Robbie, who were snubbed by whom? I believe that would be the Academy. Yes, the Academy, the Motion Picture Academy, the Oscars.

So, Ken got an Oscar nomination, Barbie did not, and everybody is furious. Plus, Greta Gerwig, who, by the way, is the first female director of a billion-dollar grossing movie, she didn't get nominated for Best Director. The Oscars say, no, no, it's not sexism, but it's weird how they keep referring to her as a directress. Ken has been suffering for a long time. And when I was a little boy and I had my Ken doll...

Everyone laughed at me. And they're like, oh, why isn't his name on the trailer? Why isn't his name on the car? And I was like, I don't know. I guess because there's no respect for Ken. And finally, in 2024, things have been made right. I just thought it was funny that y'all thought this movie was going to get Oscar nominated. Ha!

I take it then you're not too concerned about the snub, it'll say. Listen, comedies aren't usually nominated for Oscars. So since comedies aren't usually nominated for Oscars, the people in comedies don't get nominated for Oscars. I've always been surprised at Ryan Gosling as an actor because his face doesn't move.

That's the thing that I've always been. - Well, doesn't that mean that his achievement as an actor even that more impressive? 'Cause he does it all with a completely still face. Think about that. - Still or dead, whatever you wanna call it.

It really is a shame, this whole thing. And it's fine. Margot Robbie, who also will be up for an Oscar for producing the film, she didn't get nominated for acting. But did they have to put her in the In Memoriam reel, too? I mean, no one's asking this question. How come Margot Robbie wasn't nominated for Oppenheimer? Well, just...

Just guessing. Could it be that she's not in that movie? I didn't see it, so I don't know. There you are. All right, Caroline, we have another quote for you.

This is the CEO of a mega yacht company saying that their newest offering, no, it's not just for billionaires. It's for visionary billionaires with extraordinary demands for adventure. Their new yacht is very different than the mega yachts we're used to seeing the billionaires have because this yacht is a what?

Oh God, I have no idea. Submarine? Yes, submarine! You did have an idea! The super yacht company Migaloo is offering for just two billion dollars the M5, the world's first ever luxury submarine. It's being called the future of yachting. But come on, you can make any yacht go underwater if you annoy the right orcas.

It is the perfect gift for the very, very rich man who saw what happened with that submersible that went down to the Titanic and says, hey, what are the chances of that happening twice?

Does he have a son? Does the guy with the submarine have a son? If he's selling billionaire submarines, he got long money. You think? And I want to know if he has a son who wants to piss him off. Yeah.

I love that among your ambitions is being an alienated rich boy's vengeance. Listen, if he's the black sheep, he needs a black queen. Here's the problem, though. As far as we know...

They've announced this. They've put out pictures of it. I say pictures in quotes because I think they're computer-generated images. But as far as we know, no one has yet bought one. You don't build it before they buy it. It's like a Rolls Royce. Exactly right, yeah. But you can if you're interested.

You can go to the website and get the specs for this luxury submarine. For example, it's 541 feet long. It has a 15,000 kilometer range and will stay underwater, quote, until this whole Epstein thing blows over. We should really ask Janet Yellen.

Her whole life is money. It obviously does not buy happiness because all of these billionaires, they've got it. They've got all the money in the world. And they're like, let's go visit those folks at the Titanic.

I think if you don't make a lot of money and you're frustrated, you should not be because you're alive. And you could go get a PlayStation for $500 and get a submarine game. And at the end of it, you'll still be in your living room.

Okay, Carolyn, here is your last quote. It's going to be my eat, pray, love trip. But by love, I mean self-love. That was somebody in the Wall Street Journal talking about the new trend, apparently, they say, of couples vacationing without what? The other person. Exactly right. Thank you.

The new trend among married couples is vacationing without their spouse. Last year, there was a 43% in people vacationing separately from their significant others, or as it was previously known, divorce. Separate vacations, no, according to the article and the people who do it, it can be great for couples who have different interests, right? Like if one of you loves hiking in the Alps and the other loves staying home to sleep with other people.

Softie. Well, when you're gay, you can have your cake and bang on the Alps, too. There you are. I guess so. Do you guys, I mean. I think it's a great idea. I love it. RuPaul, he said that the secret to a good marriage is separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.

Wow. So that's just taking it like separate bedrooms and a bathroom in a separate hotel a continental way. Why not? Exactly. Why not? Yeah. I've been married 23 years and just this year I have been allowed to sleep in the guest room when my wife is snoring without her coming to breakfast and wanting to kill me.

Really, your wife finds that so threatening and upsetting? She thinks it's a huge insult. Really? Yeah. You said till death do us part, Tom, not till snoring. Right, exactly. We spend every morning, not like, well, you sleep with each other, and then it's not like you meet up at coffee and you're like, hey, good to see you, and this was so nice. Hey!

You just spend all of breakfast blaming each other for who ruined the sleep last night. Really? And that's the kind of intimacy and trust experience that your wife didn't want to give up. Right, exactly. If I said to my wife, I'm going on vacation without you, she would say, don't come back. Jokey, how did Carolyn do in our quiz? With all three right, Carolyn is the queen of queens. There you are. Well done.

They needed one. Thank you so much for playing, Carolyn. Take care. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you.

Panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Dilsey, this week the New York Times reported on a special group of rats that have been trained to do what? Yo, man, what news are you reading? I went through all of the news. I ain't seen nothing about no rats. Yeah, this is in there, though. It was in the New York Times. I'll give you a hint. Please. It's amazing they can do this because it's very hard for rats to do duck face. Pose? Yeah.

Pose for? Pictures? Yes, selfies. What? The rats have been trained to take selfies. They push the button? This photographer, yeah, this professional photographer rigged up this contraption that gave these rats a sugar pellet and took their picture whenever they pushed a button to get it. Even more amazing, the rats then posted these selfies to Instagram, tagged Everlane, hashtag ad, hashtag grateful.

See, this is why people's parents don't want them to get into the arts. This is like, we paid for this expensive education. You could have been a lawyer and now you're just training. Somebody got a grant to be like, yo, what if rats could take their own photo? But they got a sugar pellet for doing it? They got a sugar pellet for doing it, right? What's my excuse?

Coming up, our panelists come out of retirement and are bluffed a listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Support for NPR and the following message come from SimpliSafe Home Security. Picture this. A stranger with a crowbar pries open a window. A fire breaks out in the kitchen. In moments like these, every second counts. That's why you need SimpliSafe Home Security. With SimpliSafe, 24-7 monitoring agents act within seconds.

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From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Tom Papa, Shane O'Neill, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagals. Thank you so much, Chioki. Thank you.

Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's right, we're cool now. At WaitWaitNPR is the handle. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi Peter, this is Anya and I'm calling in from Durham, New Hampshire. Hey, from New Hampshire. Oh my goodness. I was about to say it's been an exciting time in New Hampshire, but let's face it, it really wasn't. It's been a little snowy. Yeah, a little snowy. What do you do there?

I'm a student at the University of New Hampshire studying applied math and computer science. You're studying applied mathematics. What do you want to do with that degree? I have no idea yet. I hope to figure that out soon. So you're studying applied mathematics for the joy of it?

Yeah, kind of. I kind of love that. Well, there you go. Well, Anya, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Chioki, what is Anya's topic? One last hurrah. So, no one wants to come out of retirement. It's like putting a pair of heels back on after you've already changed into your Crocs. Am I right, Ron DeSantis? Yes.

But this week we heard a rather unusual story of someone coming out of retirement for one last job. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you will win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? Yep. All right. First, let's hear from Tom Papa. When Francisco Geraldo's family gathered around his birthday cake to celebrate his 90th birthday, the one thing they didn't expect to hear was that he was coming out of retirement.

But just before he blew out the candles, Francisco announced that he was going to run with the bulls in Pamplona one more time. As a young Spaniard, he had run with the bulls 12 years in a row, but the last time he ran down those narrow streets trying not to be gorged by a bull's horn was over 40 years ago when he was still capable of running.

"'We didn't believe him at first,' said his grandson. "'Around that time he was saying a lot of goofy things, "'but he took the running with the bulls very seriously "'and started training almost immediately.'

Francisco dusted off his lucky uniform, repaired his worn-out shoes, and even started doing two push-ups every day. And on July 14th of last year, Francisco, at age 91, lined up to run with the Bulls as he had done years ago as a younger man. We're so proud of him, Mr. Geraldo said, but we're really going to miss him.

A man decides to rum with the bulls one more time, and I mean one more time. Your next story of a retirement relapse comes from Dulce Sloan. Dr. Dwight Henderson retired from Frito-Lay in 2022 after 43 years as a food scientist.

He helped create iconic flavors like Cool Ranch, Pizza Craver, and the interesting Last Call Kebab, just to name a few. When the flaming hot craze started a few years ago, that's when he knew it was time to hang up his lab coat. My tongue is clapped out. How do you kids eat this every day? My lips are always slightly tingling and my fingers are always red. After just 18 months, the call came.

Robert Francis, head of flavor development, called Dr. Henderson because they needed serious help. There's only so many things you can make flaming hot, okay? Some people just want a fun-flavored tortilla chip, and Dwight has the mouth for the job. We need that mouth! Dr. Henderson wasn't sure if he wanted to go back to the high-pressure world of food chemistry, so he pondered on it for a month. Upon making his decision to return, he said, once again, I'm going to show them what this mouth do.

A flavor scientist comes out of retirement to make one more flavor of Doritos. Your last story of one last time comes from Shane O'Neill. Terry Martin had left his criminal past behind until temptation took him back down the road to perdition. The yellow brick road, specifically.

Martin recently confessed that in 2005, the 76-year-old retired thief was lured back into his old habits by a client who wanted him to steal one of the four remaining pairs of ruby slippers used in the shooting of The Wizard of Oz. The slippers had disappeared from the Judy Garland Museum in Grand Rapids, Minnesota. Police determined that they had been stolen after ruling out the possibility that they had clicked together three times and returned to Kansas. LAUGHTER

Now, why would a man want to steal the ruby slippers, you may ask if you're heterosexual. According to him, he thought the ruby slippers were literally made of rubies. Just wait until he hears about the untold treasures that await him if he decides to rob a golden corral or a family dollar.

All right, one of these stories is about somebody who decided to just come out of retirement to do one last job. Was it from Tom, a man who used to run with the Bulls, who decided to try it again and did, but that'll be it.

From Dulce Sloan, a flavor chemist who came back out of retirement because there just had to be more flavors of Doritos. Or from Shane, a retired mobster who came out to do the one last job of stealing a genuine pair of ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz. Which of these is the real story of one last gig?

These are all kind of ridiculous, but I think I'm going to go with Dulce's story about the flavor scientist. You're going to choose Dulce's story? Yes. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with a real story. Turns out that Mob Associate thought that the rubies on the slippers were real, and he thought that he could fence the gems.

That was Andy Rose. He's a reporter from CNN who covered the real story of the ruby slipper heist gone wrong. I'm so sorry, Anya, but Shane had the real answer. You didn't win, but you earned a point for Dulce. Thank you so much for playing, Anya. Take care. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye.

And now the game we call Not My Job. Janet Yellen is a preeminent economist, a former chair of the President's Council of Economic Advisers and chair of the Federal Reserve, and is now the 78th Treasury Secretary of the United States. That means she signs all of your dollar bills, and fun fact, she gets to read all your Venmo receipts. Secretary Yellen, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you, Peter. Thank you very much.

So it's a great honor to have you here. I know you were in Chicago to speak to the Economic Club, but we have some questions that I don't think those business leaders might have had for you, such as, what is it exactly that you do?

Because honestly, I don't know. We just assume that you write the checks when we buy a missile. I honestly don't. That is one of our responsibilities. Really? And we've borrowed now $34 trillion, and it's our job at Treasury to finance those cumulative deficits and

to make sure that our debt is safe and liquid and attractive to Americans and all around the world. All right. More questions about your job. Inflation. Was that you?

Not me. Are you kidding? Not my fault. No, no, not you. That's an offense, John. That used to be you. Interestingly enough, I was watching an interview you did about a year ago where you were asked about all the predictions at that time of a recession. And you said in that interview that you did not think that would happen by this time. You, of course, were correct. So...

Would you like to take this opportunity to spike the ball? Well, I said I've told you so. Exactly, for example. And it was right. Listen to her, Larry Summers. Now, we wanted to get a little bit back into your background. We were told that one of your secrets to your success is that you always over-prepare.

including a story we heard about how you prepared to smoke dope for the first time in college.

Can you please inform us how you prepared for that particular challenge? Well, you know, I had never smoked marijuana before. It was the summer before I was going to college, and my roommate said she hid some marijuana and we should have a party and smoke marijuana. This, of course, was this renowned party school, Yale. LAUGHTER

Well, you know, I worried about that because I had never smoked anything in my life. You know, as you said, I like to be prepared. I always try to prepare when I can. And I thought, how can I prepare for this experience? Well, why don't I buy a pack of cigarettes and try to smoke them and see if I can inhale? Because I was told you can't really enjoy marijuana unless you inhale. So...

I bought a pack of cigarettes. I started smoking them. Oh, horrible. It was a horrible experience. I couldn't inhale. I was coughing. I thought, well, I'm not prepared. I have to work harder at this. So I bought some more cigarettes. And all week, preparing for this party, I smoked cigarettes. Well, then I went to the party, smoked a couple of marijuana cigarettes.

Well, I never did that again, but you know what happened to me was within a couple of months I was up to three packs a day as a smoker. Really? Wow.

It took me a decade to quit. Is that why President Obama invited you to join his Council of Economic Advocates? He had someone to sneak out back of the Oval Office and, you know. Well, I quit. He can quit. We are also reliably informed that among your enthusiasms, in addition to macroeconomic policy, is mobile games.

There is some truth in that. There's some truth in that. Okay, specifically, in case everybody wants to know, Candy Crush. Yes. Well, Candy Crush is a new game I've taken up only a year or so ago. Right. It started when I had a Blackberry, if anybody still remembers what they are. Yes. And they had a game called Brick Breaker, and I'd never really used my phone to play games, but I started becoming addicted to Brick Breaker on my Blackberry. Okay.

Actually, somebody was writing a book about me and they heard that I was interested in games and had played a game and they said, did you play Candy Crush? I said, Candy Crush? Are you kidding? I wouldn't

I wouldn't play a game like Candy Crush. I played Brick Breaker and I won. And... Well, maybe you were like, a woman of my distinction played Candy Crush? Oh, no. Brick Breaker is the only game that we... Something as silly as Candy Crush... Please, please. Don't you know who I am? And then, exactly. And then I thought, well, you know,

Maybe I should just look and see what the thing is. Sure, what's the harm? Have a puff. You're not going to get addicted. I'm not going to get addicted. Right. You know, I'll just play a couple of levels. Sure. See what it's like, these candies, you know, that you're breaking up with bombs and things like that. Yeah, this morning I hit level 6,180. Yeah.

I'm assuming that's good.

Somebody said you're actually internationally ranked, which I find hilarious. Is that true? That is not true. That's not true. Okay. You're not getting recruited by a professional candy crush. Do you have a secret for candy crush? You have marijuana cigarettes. Yeah. If he gets stuck, it always helps. I know. Yeah. Well, Secretary Yellen, it is an honor for us to be able to speak to you. We're very glad you took the time, particularly because we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...

It's not quite treasure. It's treasury. That sounds like a good game for me. There you are, yes. Maybe this will be your next addiction. You're Secretary of the Treasury, of course, so we're going to ask you about Antiques Roadshow. That is, of course, the very popular TV program where people bring their things that aren't quite treasure, but they're treasury. LAUGHTER

Right? And they get them professionally appraised, and they hope they're worth millions. You ever watched that show? Many times. Many times. So you know the idea. Okay. You get two of these three questions right, you will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. Chioki, who is the Secretary of the Treasury playing for? Joe Sylvester of Merrimack, New Hampshire. All right.

For people who bring potential treasures onto the roadshow, nothing is more disappointing than finding out that it is a fake. But there are many versions of the show around the world and on the Chinese version of the show,

What occurs when that happens? Is it A, the item is used for another separate show called "Sell a Fake Artifact to a Westerner"? B, the owner of the item who brought the thing to the show is arrested on charges of attempted fraud?

Or C, the host of the show immediately smashes the fake item with a hammer. I would try C. You're going to try smash it with a hammer? You are correct. Yes.

The host of the show roams the set with a hammer, and when something is discovered to be a fake, he comes over and bam. Okay, next question. Appraisers are not always right on the show, amazingly enough, which was the case for a glass expert named Andy McConnell, who on the British version of the show took a sip of what he thought was

was a 150-year-old port out of an antique bottle, only to discover later it was what? A, a solution of opium and cocaine, B, Diet Dr. Pepper, or a 150-year-old mix of human urine and rusty nails. LAUGHTER

Can I phone a friend? You have armed security. You can do whatever you want. Am I going to try to stop you? No. I'll go with A. You're going to go with A, the solution of opium and cocaine. I understand why you would say that. They used to do that. Well, given your predilections, I guess. No, it was actually C. No.

I knew it. That's what it was. I knew it. The appraiser, he said, well, this 150-year-old port, it turns out that more than a century before, someone had filled this antique bottle with what they hoped was a potion to keep witches away. Nice. There you are. All right. Now, you still haven't lost. You have one more question. Fans of the program have created an antiques roadshow drinking game.

in which you drink every time what happens? A, whenever jewelry expert Jeffrey Munn breathlessly references Fabergé.

B, whenever someone says, well, we'll still enjoy it after finding out their item is worthless. Or C, whenever an expert tells someone how much more their item would be worth if they hadn't had it refinished. I will go with C. You're going to go with C again. You're right, but they are all true. Those are all genuine Antiques Roadshow drinking games.

Enjoy them all at once, why don't you? Of course. Shoki, how did the Treasury Secretary do on our quiz? She candy crushed it. Janet Yellen is the Secretary of the Treasury of the United States of America and...

Among the top 2% of players globally on Candy Crush. Secretary Yellen, we are so honored to have you with us. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Secretary of the Life. Thank you. Secretary Janet Yellen, everybody. In just a minute, Jokey causes another international incident with England involving tea in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Chioki Ianson filling in this week for Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Shane O'Neill, Tom Papa, and Dulce Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Chioki. Thank you so much. In just a minute...

Sheok is nominated for Best Limericks in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Shane, the New York Times recently published an article analyzing why many of the season's most popular movies were trying to hide that they were actually what?

Musicals. Yes, musicals! According to this article, marketing for movies like the new version of Mean Girls and The Color Purple and the prequel Wonka are hiding the fact that they're musicals in order to lure people into theaters who might not be into musicals and to make sure that none of those people have to sit next to theater nerds who will sing along. Why wouldn't you want that? I don't know. Why wouldn't you want that, Papa?

You could just watch Oppenheimer instead. Laughter

Apparently the movie's been doing well. People go in there and think, oh, it's a musical. Okay, fine. That new Wonka is a musical? Yeah, the new Wonka is a musical. Just like the original Wonka movie with Gene Wilder was. That was a musical? Come with me and you'll see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Listen, I know the man was singing. I guess never, I just never, it made sense that they were singing, so I never thought it was a musical. Because I'm like, of course they're in a chocolate factory.

singing. Can you go with me on a journey here, Peter? Sure. To a world of pure imagination? More or less. So this is people say they don't like musicals. Right. But then when no one's looking, they like musicals? Right. Did you ever go on the website Craigslist?

I may have. There's a lot of people who in public aren't saying what they like, but then they're finding it when people aren't looking and then they find out that they really enjoy it quite a lot and leave their wives. I see what you mean. Yes, I don't get it. Well, I'll explain it to you. It's a closet.

Tom, a California man having a problem with slow internet at home was surprised to discover that what was using up over three and a half gigabytes of data every day? A raccoon that lived under his porch. No, not... I really need this question. I really need this one.

It was being used by his refrigerator. You were very close. It was another major appliance. It was being used by his washing machine. It was his washing machine, yes. The guy's like, why is my Wi-Fi so slow? And he started troubleshooting it, and he found out that his LG brand washing machine was the fourth highest data user in his house. So that's where the other sock went. It was uploaded to the cloud. LAUGHTER

Some privacy experts are concerned because this means that our appliances are stealing our personal data and uploading it, which is devastating if true. Imagine your washer tweeting, this guy has not done a single bedding cycle in eight months. Oh, that's terrifying. So your wife goes to put in the laundry and the washing machine whispers, you should check his history. Yeah. Yeah.

What's even worse is sometimes it turns out the guy checked, the washing machine was itself Googling things like, quote, how to grab arm and drag them in. It's a scary world we're heading into. I know. Why the hell does a washing machine need Wi-Fi? I don't know, although I am told that one of its many benefits is it will let you know when your laundry is done. Isn't that what the sound is for? I would think so, yes. Yeah.

And then it's like, oh yeah, my drawers are clean. Yeah, and your laundry turns out to be another musical. Five, six, seven. Socks, socks, where are the socks? That's the dryer song. Washing machine. Oh, sorry. Wet socks, wet socks. Oh, God, wet socks. A Tony. A Tony.

Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Catch us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, and you can come see us next week, February 1st, at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee. We'll be joined by special guest Kristen Kish, the new host of Top Chef. For tickets and information to all of our live shows, just go over to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, this is Rudy in Culpeper, Virginia. Culpeper, Virginia. Now, tell me where Culpeper is. We're at the base of the mountains right before Shenandoah National Park. Oh, sure. You're near that beautiful part of the country. What do you do there? I am the director of sales at an infectious disease reference guide.

I'm guessing. I have so many questions. Yes. This has probably been boom times for your business. We've been busy. Okay. Well, welcome to the show, Rudy. What's going to happen here is Choky Ianson, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to play? I'm ready. Okay. Here is your first limerick.

Before all you Britons find fault, take a sip and your whinging will halt. While sugar is nice, it's not quite the right spice, because your tea needs a wee pinch of...

Salt. Salt, yes. An American professor went viral this week with what she says is her science-based perfect tea recipe, which involved preheating your mug, using loose leaf tea instead of a teabag, and adding a pinch of salt, which she says reduces bitterness. And tea aficionados in the United Kingdom were outraged. Why would you ever want to reduce your bitterness? Yes.

Of course they were upset. Tea is as much a part of the British national identity as Buckingham Palace and stealing other countries' things, like, for example, tea. LAUGHTER I should pause here and note that Chioki here, our friend, is in fact a tea aficionado. I love it. Right. So the question for you, Chioki, since we're lucky enough to have you here... LAUGHTER

is what do you think of this theory of adding salt to tea to cut the bitterness? I don't want to get into a fight. No. My degree's in the humanities. Sure. But... Just brew it right in the first place. That's all I'm saying. All right. Here, here is your next limerick. When I go out at night to go dance, I dress like old knights of romance.

Though people may stare, when my legs appear bare, I like to wear tights without... Pants? Pants, yes! Apparently the hot look on the runways and red carpets this winter season has been elaborate tops and constructed jackets and no pants. Some suggest it indicates this kind of like fun devil-may-care attitude. Others suggest it's just that the designers ran out of time to make the pants and said, uh, it's the new look.

This is true. I mean, this has been happening for several seasons. We're lucky enough to have a style expert and reporter here. How do these things catch on? Like, who starts it? Donald Duck and Porky Pig. LAUGHTER

And Daffy. Daffy and Winnie the Pooh don't get enough credit. That's true. That's right. Here's the thing I don't understand. When Kendall Jenner does it, it starts a trend. When I do it, I get reported to HR. You ain't got the right drawers on. Apparently not. And you have funny knees.

What a specific burn. I'm so glad because really at my age, I thought I had run out of new things to be self-conscious about. It's like you ran into a black kid on a train. Like, yo, look at my man's knees. You're going to think about that tomorrow. I'm going to wake up my wife tonight at like 3 in the morning and go, honey, what?

Are my knees funny? All right. Here is your last limerick. There's no Bigfoot or Sasquatch out there. No big creatures to give you a scare. There's no crypto zoo, just yogi and poo. All you saw was a large upright creature.

Bear? Yes, bear. The mystery of Bigfoot has been solved, apparently. According to new research, if you think you're seeing Bigfoot, you're just looking at a black bear. Or maybe a big, hairy, naked man with big feet. Either way, run. This is what they want you to think. The Bigfoot is smart, okay? Yeah. The Bigfoot is like, okay, let me stand behind one of these bears.

Uh-huh. Maybe it's a symbiotic relationship. I should explain that the reason they think that people are mistaking these bears for Bigfoot is because bears often stand up on their hind legs. But what about the face and the foot? And the walk. Or the foot! I just learned that if you see a bear, there's a rhyme. So it's like, if it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down. And if you're black, you should be at home anyway. LAUGHTER

Jokey, how did Rudy do in our quiz? Rudy is a rhyme slayer. You got all three right. Congratulations, Rudy. Thanks so much. Thank you so much for playing. Thanks so much for having me. Take care.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify, the global commerce platform that helps you sell and show up exactly the way you want to. Customize your online store to your style. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash NPR.

This message comes from NPR sponsor, Whole Foods Market. Shop Whole Foods Market during sweet summer days and save through July 30th on best of season organic strawberries, organic blueberries, fruit snacks, frozen treats, and more only at Whole Foods Market. It is time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Jokey, can you give us the scores? Tom has two. Dulce and Shane have three. What?

That's what I was going to say. Don't question it. Just live with it. All right. Tom, you are in third place, so you will go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, Donald Trump beat Nikki Haley to win the GOP primary in blank.

New Hampshire. Right. On Wednesday, Turkish lawmakers backed Sweden's bid to join blank. NATO. Right. This week, the blank closed to record highs three days in a row. The Dow. Actually, no, the S&P 500. Sorry. This week, drug makers announced price hikes on over 700 medications, including weight loss drug blank. Ozempic. Yeah, now they have you hooked. In an announcement about new in-store slicing machines, the CEO of Subway described the chain's cold cuts as, quote, blank. Super thin. No, quote, nice fluffy meat.

Marketing genius. According to a new poll, 28% of Americans do not believe in blank. God. Right. On Sunday, Stanford's Tara Vanderveer became the winningest coach in college blank history. Basketball. Right. This week, an American Airlines flight was allegedly grounded because a passenger aggressively and intentionally blanked. Farted. Yes. Yes.

According to one eyewitness account, after being disruptive on this flight from Phoenix to Austin, this disgruntled passenger stood up and yelled, quote, you thought that was rude? Well, how about this? And then proceeded to flood the plane with toxic gas. This marked the first time in history that passengers actually wanted a door to fall off. Chioki, how did Tom Papa do in our quiz? Tom got six right for 12 more points. He now has 14 points and the lead. Goodwill at last.

Dulce, you're up next. Aw, man. Here we go. On Wednesday, it was announced that Jon Stewart would return to host Blank part-time. Is that a daily show? Yes. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. could remove barbed wire put up by border agents in Blank. Texas? Right. After dropping out of the presidential race on Sunday, Blank immediately endorsed Donald Trump. The goofy-ass man from Florida. Oh!

I'm going to give it to you, Ron DeSantis. This week, Florida officials released their annual warning for residents to watch out for blanks falling from the trees. Iguanas. Frozen iguanas, yes. We also would have accepted again, Ron DeSantis. The second time in the team's history the blanks secured a spot in the NFC Championship.

No. Almost. The Lions. The Detroit Lions. On Monday, Dexter Scott King, one of the children of blank, passed away at the age of 62. The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., which is how you should be referring to the man. This week, a restaurant in Canada came under fire for requiring patrons to sign a waiver if they order blank.

Food. Specifically, a hamburger. The restaurant prepares all of their burgers well done, and if you ask for any other temperature, they require you to sign a waiver first, acknowledging that you might get E. coli. And if you think that's a little overprotective, trust us, you don't want to see the waiver they make you sign on Ringworm Wednesdays. Joki, how did Dulce do on our quiz? Dulce got five right for ten more points. She has 13 points, so Tom is still in the lead. No food counted, right? Well...

I think we needed you to be more specific, but we did give you Ron DeSantis for goofy ass man. The question is then for Chioki, how many does Shane O'Neill need to win? Shane needs six points. Oh, God. Oh, God. You can do it, Shane. Here we are. On Thursday, a deal to offer more aid to blank came under fire from House Republicans. Ukraine. Right. On Tuesday, New York City announced plans to eliminate over $2 billion in blank debt for residents.

Housing debt? Medical debt. This week, a man in Indiana was arrested after pulling up to a Buffalo Wild Wings and offering to exchange drugs for blank. Iguanas. No, fried pickles. Fried pickles on Tuesday. A powerful earthquake hit a remote region in blank. The world. China. Yes.

You would have accepted that. Due to a wave of break-ins and robberies, California Burger Chain Blank announced their first ever store closing. In and out? Yeah, saying the event was unmissable, Philippine President Bongbong Marcos defended using government funds and security personnel to attend Blank. American Idol. No, a cold.

Coldplay concert. Oh, boy. Critics have called him corrupt and wasteful. Marcos explained that he's, quote, studied music for years and that the Coldplay concert was, quote, unmissable. His head of security said traffic in Manila left them no choice but to use the presidential helicopter, and those weren't tears during Fix You. President Marcos had something in his eyes, and it really is no one's business. Jokey, did Shane do well enough to win?

Well... Shane got two right for four more points. So, with 14 points, Tom Papa is this week's winner. Coming up, our panelists predict after private luxury submarines, what will be the next must-have toy for billionaires. But first, let me tell you that...

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircare Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills News, Miles Dornboss, and Lillian King.

Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Our secretary of the treasury is Peter Gwynn. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Our technical director is Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer, that's Ian Chilog. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next hot, hot thing for billionaires once submarines become passe? Tom Papa.

Fancy automatic toilet whose bidet shoots your butt into space. Shane O'Neill. Wex wings so you can fly to the sun. And Dulce Sloan. The return of child labor. Because all them kids ain't going to college.

And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much, Shiokei Anson. Thanks also to Dulce Sloan, Don Copper, and Shane O'Neill. Thanks to our fabulous audience at the Cedric Baker Theater. You're the best. Thanks to all for listening. We'll see you next week from Milwaukee. I am Peter Sagal. This is NPR.

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2024 is the first year ever that the Olympics will have the same number of athletes competing in women's sports as men's, which sounds like a big win for gender equality, right? There are more athletes competing in women's sports than ever before. And we're also seeing a rise in policing. Who is eligible to compete? Listen to the It's Been a Minute podcast from NPR.