Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Welcome, everybody, to Millennium Park.
I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion in Chicago's Millennium Park, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
Thank you all so much. We are so excited to be back here at the beautiful Pritzker Pavilion on the Chicago lakefront. We love doing the show outdoors. This year, though, we had to make a deal to work it all out. It took some time, but it's done. While we are here, four million cicadas are using the Studebaker Theater down the block.
Later on we're going to be talking to proud Illinois native singer and actress Michelle Williams, formerly of Destiny's Child. But first, we want you to harmonize with us. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Brian calling from Seattle. Hey, what's up in Seattle, Brian? Hey!
We got some fans. Beautiful afternoon. What do you do there in Seattle? I'm an engineer for a local aerospace company. Oh, I'm sorry. Almost a two-year-old. You're an engineer for a local aerospace company there in the Seattle area. Just one of those local mom and pop...
corner plane manufacturers. That is correct. Yeah, do you have, and that's great, and do you have anything to do, do you work on, say, the doors?
That's handled badly. Other people, other people, that's somebody else's problem. Okay, well, Brian, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel with us here on stage at the Pritzker Pavilion. First, a comedian performing in Ashland, Oregon at Belfiore Winery on July 5th and at the San Francisco Punchline on July 24th and the 27th. It's Helen Hall. Hi. Hi, Brian. Hi, everybody.
Next, the comedian you can see June 20th to the 23rd at Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida, Alonzo Bowden. Hello, Brian. Alonzo. And she will be at the Rams Head on Stage June 22nd in Annapolis, Maryland, and the Lincoln Theater in Mount Vernon, Washington on July 20th. It's Paula Poundstone. Hey, Brian. Paula.
So welcome to the show, Brian. You're of course going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. You ready to go?
I am. All right. Now, your first quote is from a champion athlete suddenly banned from his sport's premier competition. To my fans, I love you and appreciate you. Rest assured you'll see me eat again soon. That was competitive eating great Joey Chestnut after he was banned from what big competition?
The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Yes, you even branded it correctly. The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. 16-time champion of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, Joey Chestnut, was suddenly banned from this year's contest after he signed an endorsement deal with a maker of vegan hot dogs. And if you don't follow MLE, Major League Eating,
That's what it's called. You may not know how big a deal this is. Joey Chestnut is the guy. This is like the NFL banning Tom Brady or the WNBA banning Caitlin Clark or the Premier League banning some soccer guy. Do people like to watch, I mean, do you all watch competitive eating shows?
You've got to watch it like it's a train wreck, Paula. You don't intend to watch it, but then you can't tear your eyes away. Do they have cheerleaders? And are they just moms? Eat, eat, Joey. Eat. You didn't finish your dog. No, you're not getting anything else until you finish your dog, Joey. I think we've stretched the term athlete as far as it can go.
When we start including competitive hot dog eaters, I think at this point the team handball players are like, see, we're athletes. When you think about it, he is the perfect person to endorse vegan hot dogs because there is no one in the world better at swallowing hot dogs without tasting them. Well, you know, the easy thing about saying vegan hot dogs is, look, no one knows what's in a hot dog.
So if you tell us it's vegan, we're like, yeah, okay, whatever. Yeah. Yeah, sure it is. Nathan's could have just said, you know, ours are vegan. People are like, yeah, why not? Exactly. Brian, your next quote is someone caught on tape talking about her particular hobby. I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag. That was the very weird wife of which Supreme Court justice? I think that's Justice Alito. Yes, that is the answer.
Now, just a few weeks ago, we all thought Justice Alito was throwing his wife under the bus when he blamed the whole thing about them flying an insurrectionist flag on his wife, saying, oh, my wife just is really into flags. She's a flag freak. It's true. It's true.
She loves flags. She designs flags, and she regularly flies flags as a great way of sending messages to her neighbors, such as, do not engage with me at the block party. That's how she satisfies herself? That's how she satisfies herself. Yeah, I'm starting to feel a lot more sympathy for Justice Alito. Bite your tongue. I will...
I wonder if Justice Alito after a night of passion ever turns to Martha Ann. Were you thinking about me or were you creating a flag in your head?
Well, you know more evidence for her actual obsession her Spotify wrapped last year. It's just it's a grand old flag over and over again Well what she's kept to herself so far until it needs to be released is that she's also really into stickers and color forms Yeah, just quirky Martha Martha and Betsy Rosalito is just quirky
Your last quote, Brian, is about a new tech feature that allows you to remotely take over somebody else's phone and help them use it. This will save my relationship with my parents. That was tech writer Joe Wituszek talking about one of the many new features announced from what company this week? Yes, Apple, the big news. Apple, everybody. We love them.
We have no choice. The big news out of Apple's developers conference this week is a feature that allows you to share screens during a FaceTime call. That means finally you can actually be your parents' IT department, right? They can't do something, you just say, "Okay, let's do this," and you can actually do it on their phone for them from wherever you are. That's great, except at the end of the call, they take a short survey on how satisfied they are with your service.
But don't you need them to do something to allow you to get into their phones? Ah, the catch-22. Yeah, like, just getting... As someone who helped my parents set up Zoom over the pandemic, I swear to God, I aged, like, 20 years in that one afternoon. It's also good news for scammers who want into your phone. It's like, greetings, mama, this is son. Please share access to phone for favorite boy. LAUGHTER
Yeah, surely. My mom would be like, okay. And she doesn't even have a boy. Okay. This function hasn't been introduced yet, has it? It'll come with the next update. There'll be other features as well. For example, they've upgraded the photo software so that you can eliminate like a person from a photo. No. Yeah, like you have a picture with an X and you don't want the X in it anymore because otherwise it's a nice picture. Right.
If you're really angry, you can do it with all your wedding photos. And in like five minutes, it's just a photograph of a fabulous party you threw for yourself while you were wearing a great dress. Well, I know what Samuel Alito is doing when he gets his new phone. Bill, how did Brian do in our quiz? A perfect score. Boeing is back. Congratulations, Brian. Well done. Thank you. Good job, Brian. Thanks for playing.
Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Helen, we have a musical question for this wonderful musical venue. During Hunter Biden's trial, a woman testified that Mr. Biden had hired her to do a lap dance and played his preferred music for this lap dance on his own phone. So we're going to play you two pieces of music. You tell us which one he chose for the lap dance. Okay, here we go. Was it A...
Okay. Or was it B, and again, this is what he wanted played at his lap dance. Oh my gosh. That second one is so weird. It's got to be that one. That's right. What is it? No.
He had the Fleet Foxes playing for his lap dance. What are the Fleet Foxes? What is that? That was them, that little sort of folk alt band you heard a moment ago. Oh, God, how do you even lap dance to that? There's no beat. There's no, like...
No, no, you can't. You can't. She's tried. I've never heard of bringing your own music to a lap dance. I didn't even know that was a thing. I won't lap dance any other way. I always say to people, no, you provide. I have lap danced to folk music. So...
It can be done. Let's put on this little number by the Weavers and get comfortable. But have you lap danced a Bach, though? I draw the line. I have to draw the line. We should note, by the way, that that first song was by Def Leppard, and we just Googled number one song for lap dance. That popped up. And incidentally, when we Googled number one Fleet Foxes song for lap dance, we got back, no.
I was following me, I was following me, I was following me, I was following me, I was following me. Coming up, what happened in Belgium's Jemep Castle, and did I pronounce Jemep right? We'll find out in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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Simply safe. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Paula Poundstone, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at Millennium Park in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody.
You guys are the best. Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at Wait, Wait, NPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Olivia Levitt calling from Baltimore, Maryland. I love Baltimore. What do you do there? I'm a PhD student at Johns Hopkins studying biomedical engineering. Oh, wow. That's pretty impressive. You're one of those smart Baltimoreans. Isn't all
medical stuff, bio? Not really. You can study the body without fixing it.
That means you're in the insurance side. Exactly. Yeah, they just walk into the room, they go, oh, that must hurt, and they walk out. Well, Olivia, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Olivia's topic? Something's afoot at the Flemish Chateau. No, that was not one of Bill's weird vocal warm-ups. Our panelists are going to tell you about something strange that happened recently in
at the Gemep Castle in Belgium. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to go? Oh, yeah. All right. Let's hear first from Helen Haag.
Have you ever watched The Real World or Big Brother and wished it had less hot people and more politicians? Well, someone in Belgium thought of that because that is the premise of the reality series The Conclave. Amidst the stunning grounds of Jemep Castle, a medieval chateau, journalist Eric Goins,
plays the Chris Harrison slash Julie Chen to seven prominent Belgian politicians from various political parties vying for power in the upcoming elections. There are moments of conflict and reconciliation, awkward silences and barely disguised disgust. Even solo confessional interviews in a literal chapel. Are there hookups though? Sadly not in the final aired version of the series.
After the election is over, perhaps we'll see the conclave after dark. The Conclave, a reality show featuring real politicians up for election in Belgium's real government locked into the castle for a week. Your next Once Upon a Time comes from Alonzo Bowden. Is the new Tesla Cybertruck fit for a king? Ten drivers paid to find out.
As part of something called the Tesla Royal Adventure, Cybertruck fans could pay $50,000 extra and have their truck delivered to the Jemep Castle in Belgium, where they would spend three days being pampered like royalty while they drove their high-tech, hardcore trucks around the grounds. This was great for buyers like Julian Gage, who said the only way his wife would let him buy an $82,000 truck was including this trip. So everybody was up for it, except Jemep.
the truck. The first day saw a light rain and then saw 10 Cybertrucks trying and failing to get up the muddy driveway. I got stuck in four inches of water, said Julian. Driver Ian Andrews took his out to the woods, immediately got stuck in a bog and suffered the ultimate humiliation of being pulled out by a mule.
Julian Gage's wife, Margarita, was happy, though. I floated away for three days of food, drink, and spa treatment, she told Auto News. Then I spent the whole trip home listening to my husband complain about a Wi-Fi glitch keeping him from opening his truck. I mean, I told him to get the Denali.
Cybertruck enthusiasts spend $50,000 extra to go to Jemep Castle and not drive their new vehicles. Your last Castle Chronicle comes from Paula Poundstone. The Union of Cleveland's Norma Claire de Lorme and Paul Hubert Matlock was celebrated by family and friends over a week at the 70-room, 13th-century-built Jemep Castle in Belgium, a destination wedding.
The entire wedding party took a step back to the 1500s by contracting sweating disease, a bacterial disease characterized by fever and profuse sweating soon after their arrival. The ceremony almost had to be postponed because the bride and groom got their head stuck in a battlement while taking a selfie. "We were really wedged in there," says bride Norma de Lorme. "Fortunately, the sweat eventually allowed us to slide out."
When the wedding did take place, guests report hearing a rusty metal squeaking sound coming from the bride's chastity belt during much of the ceremony. Paul and I love history. We just thought an antique chastity belt would be, you know, historical, sexy. And it would have been if I hadn't accidentally dropped the key in the moat. Paul dove right in after it, right in the middle of the vows. So romantic. That alligator ruined his tux, though.
We're suing the castle. That's dangerous.
Wealthy Cybertruck fans paid extra so they could go to this castle and get their new vehicle stuck in the mud. Or a destination wedding with a medieval theme that went medieval. Which of these is the real story of doings at Jemep Castle?
I'm gonna have to go with Helen's story. You're gonna go with Helen's story about the reality TV show featuring politicians called The Conclave. All right, well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to the New York Times Brussels bureau chief. The show had so many trappings of the reality show business, which was actually quite a lot of fun, despite the fact that the protagonists were politicians. That was the Times' Matina Stevis-Grittenhaff talking about the real-world reality
Jemep Castle as it were. Congratulations, you got it right. In fact, Helen was telling the real story. She wins a point. You win our prize. The rest of everyone you might choose for your endorsement. Thank you so much. Thank you. Congratulations and good luck with your studies. All right, thanks. Take care. Bye-bye.
And now the game we call Not My Job. Michelle Williams was born in Rockford, Illinois and grew up singing gospel in church. She never thought she could do it for a living, but then she wound up in a little group called Destiny's Child, the greatest girl group of all time. And she's gone on to an amazing solo career and a starring role in many Broadway shows, including the new show Death Becomes Her, coming to Broadway soon. Michelle Williams, welcome back to Illinois. Thank you. Now, Liz,
Listen, thank you for saying Rockford because people from Chicago don't like when you front and act like you're from Chicago. And then people from Rockford are like, don't forget where you come from. So you belong to us now. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You spent time here though, right? I spent a lot of time here. The very, very first home I ever owned my own. I was out in Olympia Fields. It was a south suburb. It's still not Chicago. You can't be claiming Chicago. You got to live in the city. And it's true that you were a gospel singer. Yes, I started off in the church. You know, my mom made us go to church seven days a week.
It seemed like it. But, you know, once I got older and knew that I need something to anchor me, I really began to enjoy developing my faith and my spirituality in the church. So, yeah. So you started off singing in the church. When did you start, like, because you ended up in one of the great groups of all time? Listen, y'all. So before then, I did a few years at Illinois State University. I thought.
Come on, Redbirds, Redbirds. Yay, Redbirds, you guys, okay, great. Hey, y'all. So I really thought I was gonna be like somebody's prosecuting attorney, prosecuting attorney, or like I wanted to go into forensic psychology. I was gonna be one of the two. And then I would say, this is really cool. Maybe, maybe my last semester, I get a phone call from a friend of mine and he was just letting me know, hey, I'm about to go on tour with 98 Degrees.
And R&B legend Monica. And so I just said out my mouth, I said, "Well, if Monica needs a background singer, tell her to call me." Y'all, he called me like a week or two later and said, "Monica's having auditions tomorrow in Atlanta. Can you get here?" I was like, "Bro, I can't get there. I can't afford a next day airplane ticket. This is in 1999." I said, "Even if I took Greyhound, I would just got there in 2024."
They stop in every county on Greyhound. Sheesh. No shade, no shade. But listen, listen, listen. So he has a cousin that works for United Airlines. He said, I'm going to call my cousin Gladys to see if I can get you a buddy pass here to Atlanta. Y'all
I got the buddy pass to Atlanta. I did the audition for Monica. Guess what I sang? Something Jesus-y. A hymn. Yeah. There you go. Do you remember the hymn? Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine. Oh, in air of salvation, perfect good. I'm born of his spirit, washed in his blood. This is my... Yeah!
All right. Now, don't.
- Don't voice me, 'cause I can't pay all of you. - I understand that. - Michelle, Michelle may go sweeten that in post. - Yeah. - They don't need no auto-tune. - So anyway-- - So I sang the song. - Yes. - And I got the gig. - You sure did. - And I sang background for Monica. My mom didn't talk to me for like a week 'cause she didn't know Monica was an R&B singer. She thought "Angel of Mine" was a gospel song. I was like, "Mom, 'Angel of Mine' by Monica is not gospel." I said a prayer, she's cool, she's fine.
And then after that tour was over, Destiny's Child was looking for, you know, some girls to just kind of fill in every now and then. I get a phone call from Beyonce's mom, Miss Tina, and she's like, hey, can you come to Houston? We just want to have a meeting. Y'all, guess what song I sang? Something Jesus-y. Something Jesus-y. This is my story. Yes. Then we're going to do a duet. Just, just, you just, just watch. Y'all.
So that song's a banger for you. I sang, listen, it got me, it got me the gig with Monica. Y'all, I sang a good old Negro spiritual to audition for Destiny's Child. Walk with me, Lord, walk with me. Walk with me, Lord, walk with me. Why is tea as dirt?
I want Jesus every day of my life to walk with me.
You know what? I would hire you. We go from there to bootylicious. I was about to say. So then you get in the band and your first big hit is bootylicious and what does your mom think of that? She got to escalate in a brand new house. She's like, God is good. Well,
Michelle Williams. I know, we gotta go, huh? We gotta go, we have business to do. We have a game to play. We have a game to play. Michelle Williams, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... I'm a Survivor.
One of your biggest hits with Destiny's Child was Survivor. Yeah. Right? Yeah. So we thought we would ask you three questions about the long-running reality competition of the same name. Yeah. Right? Bill, who is Michelle Williams playing for? Matt Gridjuk of Chicago, Illinois. There we go.
Here's your first question. Contestants on Survivor are known for using anything they can find in the island to gain an advantage over the competitors. That explains why Shane Powers of Survivor Panama said he almost used Watt to gain an edge during various challenges. A, the live one-ton World War II era mine he found floating off the shore.
B, a book he brought from home called The Most Ticklish Spots on the Human Body and Where to Find Them, or C, a kilo of cocaine that washed up on the beach while he was bathing there. Weed? Not weed, no, it was cocaine. I was trying to clean it up, it's NPR, guys. We've heard of cocaine on NPR. What would cocaine have done, though? Well, I imagine it would have helped him with that, you know, the... How do you know? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
He said he imagines. He's imagining. He's imagining. He reads a lot of news stories. Yeah, that's true. No, I had my partying days. I'll go with C. You're going to go with C. You're right. Yes. Wow.
As Powers explained after he found this kilo of cocaine, and I was never a fan of cocaine in my personal life, but I had thoughts of maybe rubbing it on our gums before challenges to give us energy. You think maybe he found two kilos of cocaine? Maybe. He did say that rather rapidly. All right. Here's your next question. That was very good.
As you know, for the first part of each season on Survivor, the players have to cooperate with each other in order to beat the opposing tribe at various challenges. In the Marquesas Island season, contestant Kathy did what for Survivor?
her tribe mate contestant John. A, made him a new lucky teddy bear out of palm fronds when he lost his. B, pretended to be a doctor and called his employer with a medical excuse for being gone for two months. Or C, peed on his jellyfish sting. Oh, it's got to be that one. C! Yes, it is. Wow! Apparently a legendary moment in Survivor.
John came out of the water clutching his hand and yelled, "I need someone to pee on me!" And Kathy immediately obliged. All right, last question. Jeff Probst, that's Survivor's longtime host, he's made other reality TV programs over the years, including which of these? A, Championship of Reality Show Champions, pitting winners of all the other reality shows against each other in fist fights.
B. Live for the moment in which terminally ill people get taken on one last adventure before they die. Really? Or C. The rat race in which people are given dead-end jobs and offices and we wait to see who quits last. Process of elimination. No C because we've already had two C wins. Right. Air B. B! Yes, it is. Wow.
So how did Michelle Williams do in our quiz? With a little divine inspiration. She had them all right. She's a winner. Michelle Williams is a singer, actor, and the host of Checking In with Michelle Williams. You can see her as Viola Von Horn in Death Becomes Her. That's coming to Broadway in October. Michelle Williams, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. I'm one of the owners of the Chicago-- I didn't know that. Nobody told me that.
Hit it up for her. In just a minute, beady eyes are the new black in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis, playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Helen Hong, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host at the Millennium Park in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute...
Oh, you like ABBA? Well, get ready for some AABBA in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, more and more people are coming forward this week to admit they don't know how to read what? Their credit card bill? No. Their phone bill? No.
You want to give me a hand? I was waiting for you to ask. Thank you. People are like, what does the triangle iron X iron hand mean? Oh, the washing instructions on there. Yes, your laundry tags. Nobody knows how to read those things. I don't either. I've never known how. Nobody knows how. What does it mean?
What does the triangle with an X mean? I don't know! Does anyone here know? Yeah, don't wash it with triangles. A huge elaborate joke that they just played on everyone like we're just gonna put these symbols on here they mean absolutely nothing. According to an article in the Sun many people are ruining their clothes because they don't know how to decipher those little symbols on the care tags on the inside of their clothes. Anybody who says they know what the signs mean they're lying. Oh I can understand it I can't speak it.
You know, considering they had to literally put a warning on laundry, like, do not eat this. Yeah.
Symbols seem a little advanced for how to do laundry, right? I mean, they had to tell us not to eat Tide Pods. I don't think we're going to be deciphering hieroglyphics on how to keep our clothes clean. Originally, it was done to keep the information about our laundry from the Russians. LAUGHTER
Alonzo, you have to be 25 to rent a car, 35 to run for president. Well, now there is a particular institution in St. Louis you can't get into unless you're 30 years old. What is it? Is it something that people have been doing at younger age? It's something that most people do pretty much at every age. And most places you do this allow people in of any age. I know what it is, and I'm just going to give it away. It's a tornado. You can't be sucked up in a tornado. That's not it. Can you give me another hint? Sure. The maitre d' will be checking I.D.,
A restaurant? A restaurant, yes. This restaurant is called Bliss, and it claims that banning people under 30 will help curate a, quote, grown and sexy vibe in their establishment. Right? Because everybody knows that you can't be sexy if you don't remember 9-11. I was going to say, if you want to experience just older folks eating, just go to any restaurant at 4.30. Yeah.
And that's when they're there. It'd be really funny if this place becomes really hip and 25-year-olds are trying to sneak in and pretend they're older. Like, yeah, the new Frasier totally isn't as good as the old one. Paula, there's a very popular tourist destination in China. And they recently upgraded their restrooms by adding what to the stalls? Adding what to the stalls? iPads.
No, although it is an electronic device. Okay. Think of it as a kind of shot clock. Oh, like the door springs open after 30 seconds? Not after, not, the door doesn't spring open, but there is something keeping track of what? How long you're in there? Yeah, a timer. They've added timers on the outside of the stall showing everyone how long any person has been in there. Oh, baby! It is terrible, yeah. That's awful. I would never be able
under those conditions. This is a part of a new movement, and apparently it's hit Asia already, which is competitive peeing. Speed peeing. Speed peeing. Get in, get out. I'll tell you what, those plots will not be in the over 35 restaurant. That's true.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's a game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks over at the Studebaker Theater here in Chicago, or come see us on the road at the beautiful Mann Center in Philadelphia on June 27th. Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Kara. Hey, Kara, where are you calling from?
I'm calling from Champaign, Illinois, but I also have to say that my hometown is Farmer City, Illinois. Ah, Champaign, the Champaign of towns in Illinois. Well, welcome to the show, Kara. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. Fill in that last word or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks. You will be a winner. You ready to play? I think so. Oh, no, you have to know so.
Okay, I'm so ready. There's the attitude. Here is your first limit. In the plane's final row, there's a spare chair. With no bags, all my clothes I will wear there. And I also board last, but I fly just as fast. So I'm happy to pay basic fare.
Airfare? Airfare, yeah. Canadian airline WestJet is now selling ultra-basic airfare. It's perfect for people who've seen a cattle truck go by them on the freeway and said, hey, that looks comfortable. If you buy an ultra-basic fare on WestJet, you get no carry-on luggage, you have to board last, and everybody, when you do board, booze you. Booze, shame, peasants. Are we getting to a point with the airlines where it's like, what else can you take away?
Oxygen. I mean, you know, it's like the basic airfare, now there's a sub-basic. At some point, they're going to be like, wow, there's no service we can remove. What if we charge them and don't let them fly? Yeah. Here is your next limerick. The appeal of these guys is quite potent. Like a squirrel, they're intense. They exploded.
They are tense like some rats and they're covered in tats. We love guys who look just like a rodent. Yes, the internet has declared that this summer is all about the hot rodent boyfriends. What? Conventional square-jawed hunks are out. Men who look a little bit like rats are in.
This is great news for hot rodent boyfriends like Barry Keegan, Jeremy Allen White, and the cast of Challengers, who, we are told, are defined by their, quote, beady eyes, untidy hair, and lanky stature.
I mean, poor Jeremy Allen White spends all that time in the gym and he comes out and people are like, oh, you got creepy eyes, rat boy. Here's your last limerick. I'm just trying to text, I concur. But kids act like I'm wearing sealed fur. I don't know what to say. A thumbs up or okay. I just know I can't text the word okay.
Oh my God, like what rhymes with concur? You've already won. I can just give it to you if you want. Just please put me out of my misery. It's sure. And I know it doesn't really rhyme. That's why it's not really fair. Sure. The word sure. The Huffington Post says the worst text anyone can receive is just the word sure. Why? Well, people say...
the word sure feels cold or even passive aggressive like you might text hey do you want to meet at the movie theater at six and when they respond sure they might as well be saying I'll meet you in hell so but it's also a matter of punctuation because everybody agrees that if you say sure with an exclamation point well that's great that's hey I'm enthusiastic to do whatever you're saying when a
Sure with a period means you think the person you are texting slept with your boyfriend. Yeah. Or even worse, sure with no punctuation whatsoever, we're fighting. Really? So you agree with this? Yes. No. No.
It's almost as bad as okay. Just okay. I think this is nonsense. Sure is not the worst text. Can I call you now is the worst text. Followed by funny with a period. Right? Texting is so stupid. You both have already talked about misunderstandings with words that if we said them on the phone
You have the phone in your hand when you're texting. Just call. Paula, I would rather get a text of 10,000 shores and okays than ever have to actually talk to someone on the phone ever again. We're done for. We're done for as a species. Bill, how did Kara do on our quiz? Kara, you still win with two out of three. Congratulations, Kara. Well done.
Thanks for playing. Take care. Thank you.
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Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Paula and Alonzo each have two and Helen has...
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my gosh. All right. Helen is clearly in first place. Paula and Alonzo are tied for second. Why don't we say, Alonzo, you go first. Here we go. Let's get this out of the way. Absolutely. Here we go. Following big wins for the far right across Europe, Emmanuel Macron announced snap elections in blank.
France. Yes, this week world leaders met in Italy for the start of the 2024 blank summit. G4? No, G7. G7, I'll give it to you. Yes, G7. On Tuesday, over 5,000 contract drivers filed legal claims against online shopping giant blank. Amazon. Right, this week the winner of an AI image contest had to return his prize after it was revealed he blanked.
Made it with AI? No, he was supposed to do that. He actually just submitted a real photo that he took. On Monday, experts... Sure he did. Sure he did. On Monday, experts warned that extreme weather in the U.S. may mean that blank will run out of funding before the year's end. FEMA? Right. On Thursday, Taylor Swift announced she would end her record-breaking blank tour in December.
Eero. Eero's tour. Eero's is close enough. After weeks of being terrorized by 12-foot crocodile officials in an Australian town, captured it and then blanked. Ate it? Yes, they did. Wow. They had a big party for the town.
The police say the crocodile was, quote, prepared for the feast in the traditional manner, wrapping the pieces of banana leaves, cooking it on a barbecue, and eating it right in front of all the other crocodiles to make sure they got the message. Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? Very well. Six right. Twelve more points. Fourteen puts you in the lead. All right. So...
That means, Paula, you are up next. Please fill in the blank. On Tuesday, a jury found blank guilty on all three counts of felony gun charges. Hunter Biden. Right. On Monday, an FDA panel endorsed Eli Lilly's early stage drug for blank. The new COVID variant? No, Alzheimer's. This week, several employees of SpaceX sued the company and its CEO blank for gender discrimination and sexual harassment.
- Elon Musk. - Right. Following days of torrential rain, Governor Ron DeSantis declared a state of emergency in blank. - Florida. - Right. This week, a pedestrian in Texas was struck by a police car, so the officers got out and blanked. - Shut up. - No.
I guess this is good news. They gave her a ticket for jaywalking. According to a new study, having previous blank infections may help protect from certain colds. Having previous COVID infections? Yes. On Tuesday, fans were shocked when WNBA star blank was excluded from the U.S. Olympic team's roster. Caitlin Clark. Right. This week, scientists think they've discovered the reason orcas are sinking boats off the coast of Spain. It's because they are blank. Looking for Supreme Court justices. No. No.
Well, that is a good bet. You can find one. Look at the yachts. No, because they're bored. Essentially, scientists think that the reason orcas are bonking into boats and sinking them is because they're all just a bunch of bored, teenaged orcas. Now scientists are suggesting a better way to keep teen orcas entertained. Introduce them to drugs.
Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points. Twelve means she's trailing Alonzo by two. All right. How many, then, does Helen need to win? Five to die, six to win. Here we go, Helen. This is for the game. On Thursday, the Supreme Court rejected an attempt to restrict the blank pill. Abortion pill. Yes, for the first time since his conviction, blank met with GOP lawmakers in Washington.
Trump. Yes. This week, the U.N. Security Council adopted a resolution calling for a permanent ceasefire in blank. Gaza. Right. On Tuesday, the White House proposed a plan to ban blank debt from appearing on credit reports. Medical. Yes, medical debt. This week, a school board in Florida voted to ban a children's book called Blank.
Um, the book ban, the child's book ban book. You are exactly right. It was called Ban This Book, and it's a book for children about book banning. Oh my god, I guessed it! On Wednesday, shipwreck divers found the wreckage of Polar Explorer Blank's last ship. Oh, uh, the guy who went to Antarctica. Yes, but his name would be... Um, the guy who had, they had to eat the dogs.
You know a lot about him, but his name. It's Shackleton. On Monday, Jin, a member of the K-pop group Blank, completed his mandatory military service.
Oh, BTS? Yes, a Vermont state representative is in trouble after being caught on camera blanking on multiple occasions. Caught on camera lap dancing to Fleet Foxes. No, nothing that bad. Pouring cups of water into another representative's tote bag. Representative Jim... What? Representative Jim Carroll was confused. Every time he got to the office, hung his tote bag in the hook outside his office, went in, came out, he found it soaking wet. What's going on? So
So he put up a camera and on two different occasions, they found this other lawmaker wet-bagging him. No! Just walking up, pouring water into his tote bag, walking away. So, did I just invent the term wet-bagging? Yes, we did. That is so diabolical. Isn't it awful? It's awful. That's someone who would write short on a text. I don't think it's that bad.
Bill, did Helen do well enough to win? She had six right, 12 more points. With the other points she's accumulated, she has 16, and the win. Yeah, Helen Hong, everybody! Taking it home.
In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict, now that he's been kicked out of Nathan's hot dog eating contest, what will be Joey Chestnut's next career move? Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Air Car Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald, thanks to the staff and crew at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion at Chicago's Millennium Park. BJ Litterman.
composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Grumbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Robertson this week. Peter Gwynn is our suspected wetbagger. Emmer Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White with a big thanks this week once again to Gary Yak. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now panel, what will competitive eating great Joey Chestnut do next? Helen Hong.
vegan PR see vegans can be disgusting overeaters too Alonzo Bowden he'll be the new spokesman for the weight loss drug with Gobi and Paula Pouncegum he's gonna drive the wiener mobile
And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Helen Hong, Alonzo Bowden, and Paula Ponstone. Special thanks to Donna LaPietra and the Chicago Free For All Fund. Thanks to everybody at our old friend WBEZ and everybody here who came out to see us here in this magnificent park in downtown Chicago. And thanks to all of you for listening at home or wherever you may be. I'm Peter Sagan. We'll see you next week.
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On the TED Radio Hour, MIT psychologist Sherry Turkle, her latest research into the intimate relationships people are having with chatbots.
Technologies that say, I care about you, I love you, I'm here for you, take care of me. The pros and cons of artificial intimacy. That's on the TED Radio Hour from NPR.