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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey, Milwaukee, time to hear Bill talkie. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Peter Saga. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much.

It is so great to be able to come up to Milwaukee from our home in Chicago because I don't know if the rest of America has heard of this, but move over, Bricklin. Milwaukee is now hip. I'll prove it. I'll prove it. The next season of the cooking competition show Top Chef was filmed right here because as we all know, the pinnacle of modern cuisine is the cheese curd.

We're going to go over all the different varieties you can get with Kristen Kish, the new host of Top Chef, who's come back to Milwaukee to be with us. She'll be here in a little while, but first it's your turn to try to be the top answerer. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you were on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Justin Scheidel from Staten Island, New York. Staten Island? Staten Island.

So Staten Island has a reputation, certain stereotypes, which I will not get into for fear of enraging everybody in Staten Island. Oh yeah, don't do that. Are they true? Is it a tough place? It can be, but it's New York City. So it's just outside of New York City, but still New York City. You realize that there are millions of people in Manhattan and Brooklyn who are saying right now, yeah, no.

And most of those people have never gone to Staten Island except to go to the mall. Exactly. But let's not have that debate. Instead, welcome to the show, Justin. Let me introduce you to our panel. First up, his fashion line, Bab Gooch, is launching April 13th at the Silver Room in Chicago, premiering items from its L.L. Bean upcycling collab. It's Brian Babylon. Hello.

Next, a comedian whose album Yell Joy is streaming across all platforms, Joyelle Nicole Johnson. And a comedian whose free newsletter is called That's Marvelous. He's currently on tour across the U.S. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. Hello.

So, Justin, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill? This time, of course, Bill Curtis is going to start us off with three quotations from the week's news. Your job, simply explain, identify two of them. Do that, you'll win our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose on your voicemail. You ready to go? Uh,

I am prepared to fail spectacularly. That also works for us. That's Staten Island confidence. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, we all got it. Yeah. All right, your first quote is from a very excited Taylor Swift fan.

My reaction to this is literally not normal. I need a lobotomy. That Swifty was reacting to news that Taylor will be attending what big game next weekend? The Super Bowl. The Super Bowl, yes! Yes!

Last weekend's NFL playoff games were hard-fought, very exciting. They were dramatic, but we are happy to tell you that the team with the best boyfriend won. It's truly, it is amazing. It is the love story of the decade. She's the biggest pop star in the world. He's an

NFL all-star Travis Kelsey or maybe it's Jason. Nobody cares. I'm happy for Travis because now he is what I consider Joyelle famous and that means the only way I know a sports person is if they're dating a pop star. Really? Yeah. So now I know who Russell Wilson is and I'm

Giselle's ex-husband. Right. Whatever his name is. I don't remember his name. Have you seen how they're trying to, like the Tucker Carlson people, are trying to spin her into some Pentagon op? Yeah, it's really weird and almost inexplicable, but it's also true that the right-wing media and some politicians think...

This whole thing, the relationship, the team going to the Super Bowl, it's all been engineered to give Taylor Swift massive exposure and popularity right before she endorses

Biden. They say even getting Kansas City into the Super Bowl was a democratic plot, which you know it wasn't because it worked. I love that part of this plot is like, finally, now Taylor Swift is popular. Yeah, I know. Oh, wow.

I do think she has a concert in Tokyo the night before. She's leaving and getting in the night before. Such is the power of Taylor Swift that she's time traveling to the Super Bowl. I know. All right. Here, Justin, is your next quote. Control your phone or computer just by thinking. That was Elon Musk on Monday. He was touting what he says was a successful test of his new product,

And his new product is a microchip that is installed where? In your brain. In your brain, yes! Elon Musk announced that his company Neuralink has successfully embedded a computer chip in a human brain allowing a seamless brain-machine interface. The patient, who is anonymous, is doing great and he says he's feeling totally one-zero-one-one-zero-one-zero-one-one.

If he were doing that great, he wouldn't be anonymous. Yeah, that's true. Exactly. They'd be like, Steve's doing great. Steve, right over here, who's standing next to me, quite alive, is doing great. They're not saying that. And what's scary is this chip, they tested this by implanting it in monkeys, and all the monkeys died.

Well, on a long enough timeline, all the monkeys are going to die. Exactly. So what's amazing is like this happened and the knurling people are like, well, I guess the problem is monkeys. All our monkeys were defective. Exactly. Yeah, they couldn't cope. Yeah. I have a question about this. You said that you can operate your computer or phone by thinking about it. Yes. My question is, all the websites? Yes.

Well, yeah. One worry. You asking for a friend? Well, no. I mean, so, like, what he says is, yes, you can control computers with your thoughts, right? So, it works like this. Like, you say to yourself, oh, I'm feeling sick. You can just think your question to WebMD, and every answer will be, well, it's probably the chip you had jammed into your brain. Oh, my God.

It's important that you remember you only have to think. You do not have to speak your commands. So, like, when you walk into a party, don't be muttering, search friend's boyfriend's name. But you know who's not going to like this? Who? Siri. She's pissed. Yeah, she's like, oh, you're just going to get somebody else to do my job. Well, you could just ask me, but now you're thinking? I mean, wow. I've got to say this, though. I mean, everybody's going to sign up for this because we all sign up for everything. When you do this, get your own account.

do not steal your parents' password because you just don't want to have to find out what they've been thinking. Right. All right. Justin, your last quote is from a marine archaeologist somewhat skeptical about a big find in the news this week. All we know is it looks like a plane. He was responding to an explorer claiming that he had found whose plane that's been missing for about 80 years.

Amelia Earhart. That's right, Amelia Earhart on Underwater Explorer. Oh, yeah, big Earhart fans here in Milwaukee. On Underwater Explorer says that he has found Amelia Earhart's missing plane. Early analysis suggests that Ms. Earhart crashed when she was flying back from her concert in Tokyo to see her boyfriend play football. LAUGHTER

So does this mean they found her body too? No, no. There is some skepticism because all this guy has presented is this real blurry sonar image that looks, according to independent experts, kind of airplane-y.

Skeptics say they will need a lot more proof, like a clear image of a tail number in the plane or the ghost of Earhart telling us the name of her elementary school and her mother's maiden name. Listen, I love this news. I'm a big fan of a lot more men just going to the bottom of the ocean and maybe never coming back.

Well, I've known you for years. What are we doing here? Now, this happened, of course, back in 1937, and those were the days in which you were declared missing the second you safely took off in an airplane. Oh, they're never coming back. They're never coming back. That can't be working. You were missing once you left the house back then. You're just like, oh, he's probably at war, one of them. Yeah.

Bill, how did Justin do in our quiz? Justin may change the image of Staten Island. He was perfect.

The Wu-Tang Clan is so proud of you. Oh, yeah. They live, like, actually right around the block. There you go. We'll go over and say hello. Justin, thank you so much for playing. Of course. Take care. Right now, guys, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Brian, data released from Nielsen this week reveals that last year, 2023, Americans collectively spent...

21 million years doing what? Watching. Yes. Yeah. Just say. Reality shows? Well, yes, that. Watching TV. Watching streaming services. 21 million years of human life. Wait, 21 million? 21 million years. 21 million years. Dinosaur amounts. Yeah. Researchers assessed data released by streaming services, and they basically added it all up, and they found that U.S. consumers, i.e.,

well, us, collectively watched 21 million years worth of content on the streaming services. That is a 21% increase over the prior year. And that is crazy. 21 million years. Especially the whole universe has only existed for 6,000. Right. I mean...

I do think you have to rewrite that song from Rent that's like, "How do you measure a year?" And now it's just like, "600,000 episodes of The Office!" Exactly. And that was pretty much all I did. You know the number? 525,600 minutes. Wow! I did a whole nother number. Yeah, yeah. Wow, okay.

The real question is, if we spend that much time, 21 million years, watching stuff on Netflix, how much time do we spend deciding what to watch on Netflix? 22 million years. Right, exactly.

Coming up, a Floridian mystery solved in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. ♪

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Hey, everybody. It's Peter Sagal. So we are trying a new thing here for the month of February. It's a little like those public radio drives you hear so often on public radio shows like ours. Okay, it is a lot like that because we're trying to get 401 new Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus supporters just in the month of February. Now, I know you've probably heard me talk about Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus, but you haven't signed up yet. And I got to tell you, it kind of bothers me. So why haven't you? Well, not

Not only do you get to listen to the show without any sponsor breaks, but you also get bonus episodes every other week. You can even get the chance to be in one of our bonus episodes and play a quiz game with me and some of the crew from Wait, Wait. And...

Maybe most importantly, you will be supporting us here at NPR and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Help us keep on doing what we love and sign up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus today. And sign up your friends, too. Go to plus.npr.org slash waitwaitnow and become one of our favorite 401 fans. And a big thanks to everybody who has already signed up.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Joyelle Nicole Judson, Joss Gundelman, and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Peter Sabo. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.

Right now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Lisa from Indianapolis. Hey, Indianapolis, an amazing and beautiful city where I've spent some time. What do you do there? I am a pharmacist. You are a pharmacist. Okay. Okay.

I have a question for you. Whenever I get, I pick up some medicine at the pharmacy, they always say, do you have any questions for the pharmacist? And I always say, well, no, thank you. Does anybody ever say yes?

What am I supposed to do with this pill? Yes, we actually do get a lot of people with questions. I would appreciate people asking questions, actually. Really? And what are the questions like? So, get me a bottle of pills. Am I just supposed to chug it just all at once, you know, like a shooter? You'd be surprised.

Well, Lisa, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Lisa's topic? Tampa, city of mystery. Tampa, Florida has its share of mysteries. How did it get the name Cigar City? What role did it play in the Civil War? And can I trust everything I'm reading right now on Tampa's Wikipedia page?

This week, a persistent mystery in Tampa was finally solved by dogged detective work. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one, though, who is telling the truth. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail. You ready to play? Yes, I am. First, let's hear from Joyelle Nicole Johnson. When all the party barges at Tampa Bay's Wild Willie's Party Barges...

who were rented out for spring break by the Robbins family, the company was thrilled. And the excitement continued when the Robbins clan booked all of the beach cabanas at Crazy Carrie's Beach Cabanas. But then the Robbins' said they would need to pre-purchase every single jello shot at Lunatic Larry's Libation Lounge. Business owners started to wonder,

Who are these Robins? And how many of them were there? After inquiries, phone calls, and internet searches, the head of the Robins family was tracked down by a reporter and she confessed, "Okay, we are not a huge spring break family reunion. We aren't even a family. We're bird watchers."

Turns out spring break coincides with the spring migration and a group of local birders decided that this time, whatever the cost, the lab party would not scare away their birds. This year, I will see the yellow-breasted night hammer on, said bird watcher Leslie Turner, and win the wet t-shirt contest. A group of birders...

Books everything there is to do in Tampa during spring break just to keep it quiet for the birds. Your next story of a Tampa enigma comes from Brian Babylon. For weeks, clothing stores across Tampa, Florida have been confounded by mystery. The mystery? How did all the mannequins suddenly get hair? And why is the hair so ugly?

One by one, all the mannequins in Tampa start sporting wigs with identical horrible haircuts. The mystery was finally solved when Matt Berry was spotted at a grocery store with the exact same haircut. Why? According to Matt, I was going through a hard time. So instead of fixing my problem, I got bangs. And then that didn't fix anything, and I just kept going.

So Matt decided to try and make it hip and cool by giving all the mannequins in Tampa the exact same haircut. He apologizes to the citizens of Tampa and the mannequins for putting them through this. He promises from now on, he'll just wear a hat. And then...

A man sneaks in and puts wigs on all the mannequins and stories trying to make his own terrible haircut look cool. And your final story of a Tampa whodunit comes from Josh Gombelman. Since 2021, a mysterious thrumming sound has been disturbing residents of a neighborhood in Tampa, Florida. An amateur investigation conducted by locals ruled out any of the typical causes for a Tampa-based cacophony, which are, of course, unlicensed Jimmy Buffett cover band, alligator bat mitzvah, and haunted strip club.

So the residents decided to bring in an expert. James Lacascio of the Moat Marine Laboratory and Aquarium in Sarasota has gotten to the bottom of the issue. He believes the offending sound is caused by mating fish, specifically black drumfish. This species grows up to five and a half feet long, but they frequently say they're 5'10 on Grouper, the dating app for bottom-feeding sea creatures. LAUGHTER

Black drumfish are known for producing a low frequency humming noise during mating season, which can last deep into the winter night, showing off much black drumfish. Humans, of course, do not create a similarly rhythmic frumming sound during mating, which is why to compensate, we as a species invented boys to men's greatest hits. All right. So...

The good people of Tampa, Florida now know something that they didn't know before. Is it from Joyelle that the Robbins family that booked everything in town during spring break turns out just to be a bunch of birders who wanted things to be quiet for once?

From Brian Babylon, the reason that all these weird wigs were appearing on mannequins was just a desperate man trying to make his own haircut look good. Or from Josh Gellman, that terrible deep thrumming sound keeping everybody at night? Fish sex. Which of these is the real story of a Tampa mystery solved? I think I'm going to go with Joyelle's burger story. You're going to go the story of Joyelle's story about...

A group of birders who called up and booked everything in Tampa so it would be quiet. Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to a reporter who covered it. A resident reported hearing kind of these strange, deep vibrating sounds. Scientists believe it's a fish mating very loudly. That was the New York Post's Patrick Riley talking about what turned out to be the beautiful sounds of...

Fish love. I'm sorry, Lisa, but in fact, as we desperately tried to tell you, Josh had to be the answer. But I still get a point, though. You do get a point. You set out to earn a point for Joyelle. Turn up. You did it because she gets a point. Thank you so much for playing. I'm still going to do her voicemail whether she likes it or not, and it's going to say, thanks for nothing. This is Lisa's part of it. I like that.

Thanks for playing. And now it's time for the game we call Not My Job. When Padma Lakshmi retired as the host of the competition show Top Chef last year, there was only one candidate. The producers of that show wanted to replace her, and that was Kristen Kish, the come-from-behind winner of Top Chef season 10.

who since then has become a superstar in the food world. Her first season as host broadcasts this spring, and since it is all set in Milwaukee and around Wisconsin, we are delighted she came back here to join us. Kristen Kish, welcome to "Wait, Wait, Don't Come." - Thank you.

It is such a pleasure to, first of all, congratulations on the host gig. So let's jump right in. You won your season of Top Chef after fighting your way through a redemption round. And a big turning point for you in the show was you were all challenged to prepare this seafood specialty in Seattle, the geoduck. Correct.

And I don't know if I will ever recover watching. Who knows what a geoduck is? You guys don't? Yes? No? It sounds like pate or something? Who knows what a penis is? They look identical. It is not the thing that I wanted to cook and have my first moment dunking

the gooey duck in hot water to then remove the... Foreskin? Yes, yes, I'll let you say that. And to slide it off, and that was my first moment, but it was the quickest thing that you could cook in 30 minutes. Wait, so you moiled a... Wow! Hey! Hey!

Beautiful. It's a very easy procedure. You do that, you give it a fountain pen, and you move on. And I'm very gay, so shocking that I knew what to do. Yes! Well, you know. That makes sense, though, that you're like a penis dipping in boiling water. Yeah, that's right.

I think that's the advantage you had over the rest of the contestants. Complete emotional detachment. I don't care. I don't care. So now, so you went to the one Top Chef, hugely popular winner. You've gone on to do a lot of things.

And then they called you up and they said, Padma's retiring. We want you to take over the show. Well, so they didn't even say that. I saw, anyone that is a fan of the show saw that on Instagram when Padma posted it. And it was like, it caught me off guard too. I was like, who's going to take over that job? Not me. Certainly. It's probably going to be one of you. You all are very funny and clever and very witty and charming. I did think it was going to be me. So this is awkward. And,

It just happened so fast. I got a call. I was flying from Thailand back to New York, and I was in Dubai, and I got a call from my agent, and it just...

things started rolling. And how did you find the, of course, necessary moment at the end of every episode where someone has to go home? Do you use the famous catchphrase, pack your knives and go? Oh, pack your knives and go is still there. You are top chef is still there. You didn't change it? You weren't like, well, I did. Did you pitch your own? The first day I was like, maybe what if I do just say, go the fuck home. Yeah.

But I felt like, I was like, there's a lot of people I don't want to say that to. So I was like, you know, I'll be nice to everybody. So we can't tell, you know. You are, you are a very positive person. You filmed the next season of Top Chef will take place entirely here in Milwaukee and other areas of Wisconsin. Chefs from all over the country flew here to compete. And how many episodes were there? Are there? I have no idea. You know, I have a lot of episodes. So like 20 episodes. How many of them are entirely about cheese curds?

Listen, as soon as we touched down, I had cheese curds, custard, butter burger, uh,

And I know Wisconsin is much more than just your dairy, but your dairy is exceptional. It's true. And most people don't know this, but when you arrive at Mitchell Airport in Milwaukee, you are greeted with strings of cheese curds that they place around your neck as a traditional welcome here. It's very nice. And in Wisconsin, your dairy is exceptional qualifies as dirty talk. Of course it is.

Well, Kristen Kish, we are so delighted you came back to Milwaukee to join us. And we have asked you here specifically to play our competition. And this time we are calling it Top Chef Meet the Top Jeff. Okay.

You host Top Chef, so we thought we'd ask you about the world's top Jeff, Jeff Bezos. Answer two out of three questions correctly about the founder of Amazon, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. So, Bill, who is Chef Kish playing for? Heather Rayne of Racine, Wisconsin. Did you...

Did you get down to Racine while you were here? Get a Kringle? I can't say anything. Oh, I'm sorry. You can't. It's all secret. Sorry. But also, if I lose, does Heather still get the prize? Because this is a lot of pressure for me. I want to do good for somebody else, and then if I don't do good and then she doesn't get the prize, I'm going to feel really bad for the rest of my life.

Here we go. Let's see how you do. Here's your first question. To demonstrate his personal philosophy of how one succeeds in business, Jeff Bezos once did what? A, actually stole candy from a baby. B, ate an octopus for breakfast. Or C, drove his Mercedes S-Class the wrong way down I-5 in Seattle.

God, see, I was really bad at quizzes and I always did C when I didn't know the answer, but there's only... He ate the octopus. He ate the octopus. That's right. There you go. See, you know what?

You know what's crazy? Get back in your head. Right. Right. You think you know the answer and then you... Talk yourself out of it. Someone once asked me at a food and wine festival, side note, you know, Le Creuset, Le Creuset, the cookware. Someone was like, how do you say Le Creuset? And I've been saying Le Creuset the right way my entire life. And someone goes, how do you say it? And I was like, have I been saying it wrong? And I go...

"Les Crusettes?" And they're like, "No!" This is what happens, I overthink. - I know, it's the pressure. So what happened was, is he ate this octopus for breakfast at breakfast with the head of a company he wanted to acquire, and then Bezos said, and I quote, "You are the octopus I'm having for breakfast. "When I look at the menu, you're the thing "I don't understand, the thing I've never had. "I must have the breakfast octopus."

That was Bond villain. It really was. Wow. All right. Here's your next question. Jeff Bezos is not the only famous member of his family. His biological father, Ted Jorgensen, also had a claim to fame. What? A, he was the most beloved small independent bookstore owner in Seattle until Amazon put him out of business. B, he invented the male cosmetic buttock implant.

Or C. He was an avid unicyclist who founded the world's first unicycle hockey club. Does C qualify as a claim to fame? I personally like B. I like the thought of white men getting BBLs.

A. A. No, I thought I told you. The answer is always C. Wait, how many do I have to get right? Two? You have to get two. Okay. This is just like Top Chef. You lost, but you're not out of chances. You can come back and win it all. You know how I do well under pressure? I don't do very well. What happened in high school once is I was a really great free throw...

Basketball person. They threw me on the team because I was tall for my age. It's not because I was actually good. But I got really good at just aiming and standing in one spot. So then what happened is there was a game. We were playing our rivals. And it was tied game. Like everything that you think of when you see something really suspenseful in a sports game, that's what's happening. So tied game with this team rival. You're fouled. Game's in the line. You're at the free throw line. Go. Go.

And I go, whoop, and it airballed. It was devastating. Devastating. So this is how I feel now. So go ahead, ask a question. Ask a question. Come on, Triggers. All right. Here's your last question. Get this right, you win. I think I'm ready. All right. You get this one right, you win.

So Jeff Bezos is famous for insulting his employees whenever they displease him, which apparently they do a lot. Which of these is a real insult that Jeff Bezos has been reported to shout at his underlings? A, I'm sorry. Did I take my stupid pills today? B, if I hear that again, I'm going to have to kill myself. Or C, why are you wasting my life?

Well, C. C? Yeah. C? Yeah, C? C. You're going to go with C. All of them. All of them. What did you say? All of them. All of them is the correct answer. Wow. By the way.

I have had a lot of wonderful people in the show. I've never been on such an emotional journey. But hey, it's no, wait a minute. The demon has not banished until Bill says the words. Bill, how did Kristen Kish do in our show? Two out of three. You won. Oh my God.

Kristen Kish is a Top Chef winner and the show's new host. The latest season filmed in Milwaukee will air on Bravo this spring. Kristen Kish, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. In just a minute, the truth about your toilet lid in our listener limerick challenge called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Josh Gundelman, Brian Babylon, and Joelle Nicole Johnson. And here again is your host at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Peter Stegall. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.

In just a minute, Bill opens up a tall boy of Milwaukee's best limericks in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the Weeks New. Josh, a new report in the Washington Post says you no longer need to be ashamed if you happen to have a chair in your bedroom just for what? Um...

Looking out the window? Can I have a hint, please? First of all, everybody's got this, but really organized people have a lights chair and a colors chair. Oh, a chair just for laundry. Exactly, a chair for your laundry, right? Yes. You all have it. Every single person listening to me right now, you've got a chair with a pile of all the clothes you wore last week. And if you're saying, ha, ha, ha, I don't have a laundry chair, well, then how's your laundry treadmill?

But here's the great news, everybody. The Washington Post tells us that instead of being ashamed of that increasingly smelly pile, you should embrace it. You're not a lazy slob. You are taking an intermediate step towards completing an important household chore. If just piling your dirty laundry in a chair in the corner...

rather than cleaning it is in fact a positive step, then why isn't that true for everything? It's like, no, honey, I didn't clean the kitchen, but take a look at the dish chair. I didn't finish eating dinner, but I do have quite a lot of chicken pot pie in my mouth. Exactly. Kind of Pelican style. Yeah, that's good.

Joyelle, everybody in the office who resents you is going to have to apologize because according to the experts at the cooking section of the New York Times, the best, most foolproof way to cook fish is what? First of all, I don't know about offices because I don't have a job. But the answer is microwaves. Yes, microwave your fish, everyone.

If anyone complains, say the paper of record told you to, the New York Times food section says if you want perfectly prepared fish done easily, you should cook it in the microwave. Peter, I think you did that one time back when we worked together at WBZ. I did not. Honestly, I... I did not. The person who did it was our producer Jennifer Mills, and her name shall live in infamy. Wow! Have I forgiven her? That scarred me. I know. I get the concept.

I get it. Put that in the broom closet. What? Like, take the microwave, put it in the broom closet, do your fish, and it's just a microwave for fish in the broom closet. But you've got to open the broom closet. Yeah, I know, but it's back there. It's not in the common area where people are eating. Brian's right, though. They should say in the cooking section, the best place to cook fish is in the microwave at your house. At your house. At your house, not in the common workspace. Yeah.

Brian, Nikki Haley is still out there in the Republican primary for president, and she is touting her ability to bring change. And one big change she did make, according to her own memoir, was when she changed what? Her name? Not her name. Her parents? Not her parents. Member of her family.

Somebody who had her husband's name when she changed her husband's name. That's right. When Haley first started dating her husband William, that was his name when they met, she looked at him and said, you don't look like a William. Your name is Michael now. And thus now his name is Michael.

This does seem weird, but Nikki should be allowed to do what she wants after rescuing her husband from that kill shelter. I like that she changed her name from ethnic to white and she changed his name from white to whiter. Right, exactly. He did.

It is fascinating to see this is what a Republican means when they say they believe in a woman's right to choose.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Also, you can check out our Instagram to find behind-the-scenes photos and videos and a bunch of other fun stuff that's, frankly, way better than our radio show. Come on. And it's easier to absorb. It's at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on WaitWait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Megan. I'm calling from Somerville, Massachusetts. I happen to know and love Somerville. What do you do there? I am a software engineer who works from home, so I spend most of my day trying to keep my cats from lighting the place on fire.

Are your cats running around with oil-soaked rags and matches? I mean... Peter, you haven't been to Somerville in a while. Apparently, yeah. It's gotten tough. Terrifying. Well, welcome to the show, Megan. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly and two of the limericks will be a winner, here is your first limerick. As attendance to baseball games dips, our home openers flipping the scripts.

We think it's a sign that the planets align. It's the time of the solar... Eclipse? Eclipse, yes. The Cleveland Guardians opening baseball game will be in the direct path of the total solar eclipse later this year. It could be the most exciting thing to happen in baseball since the invention of the t-shirt gun.

But instead of embracing it with promotions like, you know, watch our team spread darkness over all the Earth, the front office says they might reschedule the game. I know, it's crazy. They could literally have taken credit for being the Cleveland Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes! It's going to be awesome to go to a game with an eclipse. How great will it be to heckle the umpires? Hey, ump, did you ignore the advice of experts and still directly at the eclipse or what?

Here is your next limerick. As new parents, we're doing our clever best, but we found that our toddler will never rest, so we're making him climb way past his bedtime. Here we are at our base camp on... Everest? Everest, yes. A Scottish couple is defending their controversial decision...

to go visit base camp at Mount Everest with their two-year-old son. Yes! They say they took every safety precaution and they also tell us that he was completely excited for the challenge because he's a quote "energizer bunny" and oh my god, he loves seeing dead bodies? Now, before, like I said, don't get too impressed, they didn't take the two-year-old to the summit, they just went to the Everest base camp which is just 17,000 feet above sea level.

And they get all this attention. I, on the other hand, took two kids under four to a restaurant on Wednesday and survived, and nobody is covering that. Most parents just give their kids melatonin. These kids deprive the kid oxygen. Did they have...

I'll see what suckers you out. It's also like maybe they didn't mean to do it, right? Maybe the sitter canceled and they're like, well, these reservations don't transfer. Yeah, that's true. Bring the kid. Bring the kid. It's going to be fine. And not only is it dangerous to bring a two-year-old way up the side of a Himalayan peak, it's pointless. In case you get in trouble, there's hardly any meat on him. Here is your last limerick. From your toilet bowl, germs always gush.

So take care where you keep your good brush. For lid up or lid down, spray still gets around. Things get icky whenever you brush.

Flush, yes. A study in the American Journal of Infection Control, famously the magazine with publishing's worst swimsuit issues, says contrary to what everybody believes to be true, closing the lid on your toilet before you flush does nothing, nothing to prevent the spread of germs in your bathroom. You have to do what I do and throw your whole body across the toilet like it's a live grenade.

Here's the thing. If you think about it, you realize this. A toilet seat, a toilet lid, does not seal the bowl. It's got openings around the side. Basically. Like fumes? Well, no. Think about a toilet seat. They've got those little sort of stops that keep it from slapping into it. Those hold up the lid so there are

openings around the side. So when you lower it and flush, basically closing the lid just makes the germs shoot out sideways really fast instead of just floating upwards. And if you listen very carefully, you can hear all the bacteria going, yee-haw!

I know this is not now I start thinking about a new Pixar movie of a family of germs that we're in the toilet But now they're on your brush then they go to work with you and then make you do better at work Yeah, I've got a good name for your Pixar movie ready ratapouille Okay

Bill, how did Megan do on our quiz? Great. Three in a row. It's amazing. Megan, thank you so much for playing. Thanks, Peter. Bye-bye.

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Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Brian and Joyelle each have three. Josh has two. Oh, Josh has two. Okay, Josh, that means you are going first. Okay. The clock will start when I begin your first question, Fill in the Blank. On Thursday, the EU agreed to a 50 billion euro fund to help support blank. Ukraine. Right.

At a Senate hearing on Wednesday, Meta CEO Blank promised that the company was working to make social media safer for teens and kids. Mark Zuckerberg. Yes. According to a new report, Blank spent over $50 million in campaign contributions on his legal fees. Donald Trump. Yes. And Wednesday, the FBI warned that hackers from Blank pose a grave threat to U.S. infrastructure. China? Yes. After eight months in prison, police in India have released a Blank that was believed to be a Chinese spy.

Horse? Close. A pigeon. On Wednesday, Mike McDonald was announced as the new head coach of the Seattle Blank. Seahawks. Yes. For the first time ever, a videographer captured the birth of a great white blank. Shark? Yes. This week, a woman in New Jersey has asked for the public's help in finding the vandals who covered her house with blank. They did like a big peekaboo over the windows. No. No.

The vandals covered her house and car with hundreds of slices of pepperoni. The New Jersey-est crime. It really is. Heather Doherty thought she was still dreaming when she woke up to find that someone had covered her entire house with slices of pepperoni. She's now just hoping someone will come back and vandalize her house further with cheese and tomato sauce with mushrooms just in the front porch, please. Bill, how did Josh do in her quiz? I think pretty well. Yeah, six right, 12 more points. Total of 14 puts him in the lead. All righty then. Okay.

I'm going to arbitrarily choose Brian to go next. Brian, here we go. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, House Republicans voted to advance impeachment articles against the Secretary of blank. Homeland Security. Homeland Security, yes. On Thursday, Defense Secretary blank apologized for his secretive hospital stay. Lloyd Austin. Yes. Following a request from Israel, the U.S. pulled its funding for the main U.N. aid agency in blank.

And Gaza. Yes, on Wednesday, Margot Robbie said she's fine not being nominated for her performance in blank. Bobby. Yes, this week a man was arrested for stealing blank from a Florida restaurant. Mannequin? No, a three and a half foot tall Snoop Dogg bobblehead. On Thursday...

Seven-time blank champion Lewis Hamilton announced he is leaving his team Mercedes next year. Formula One? Yep. This week, a South Carolina couple missed out on having a video of their engagement after their friend who was supposed to film it blanked. Oh, that guy? He was arrested. No, their friend who was filming it turned to film an adorable raccoon instead.

The groom-to-be was just about to get down on one knee when his friend filming the proposal got distracted by this cute raccoon over there. And if that weren't bad enough, when the camera woman gives her maid of honor speech at the wedding, the whole thing is going to be about how much she just loves that raccoon. Bill, how did Brian do in our quiz? Got five right. Ten more points. Total of 13. You're one short, Brian.

Brian. Always. How many, then, does Joyelle need to win? Six to win. Oh, boy. Here we go, Joyelle. This is for the games. For all the marbles. Oh, no. All the cheese, as they say here. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a judge dismissed Disney's lawsuit against Florida Governor Blank. That's the answer. Yes. On Tuesday, France passed a bill aimed at enshrining Blank rights in the country's constitution.

Yes. This week, the health ministry in South Korea sent out an advisory urging people to please not eat blank. Chicken. No deep fried toothpicks. Thanks to a pair of atmospheric rivers, over 20 million people in blank faced flood warnings this week. India. California. On Tuesday, a new study found that insects are not actually attracted to blank. Women. Yes.

What a surprise. No, light. This week, a dentist's office in Minneapolis announced a new way to help their anxious patients. To anyone who requests it, they will put a blank in their lap. A puppy? Yes. Well, to be fair, it is a dog, but it is an 80-pound adult dog. Oh, my God. That's a lead vest dog. I know.

Bill...

Did Joyelle do well enough to win? Joyelle got three right for six more points, total of nine. That means Josh is this week's champion. There you go. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after Amelia Earhart's playing, what would be the next amazing discovery we make on the bottom of the ocean. But first, let me tell you all.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, the Nevelent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Roberson, Monica Hickey, and Vinnie Thomas. Peter Gwynn is the thing I don't understand, the thing I've never had. He is...

The Breakfast Octopus. Our five curators, Emma Choi, technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will we find next on the bottom of the ocean? Brian Babylon. Tons of SpongeBob SquarePants dirty laundry sitting in a chair. Joyelle Nicole Johnson. The script for a better finale to The Sopranos.

Whoa! Smell you and Josh Gondelman. A submersible aircraft full of billionaires trying to visit Amelia Earhart's plane. Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Brian Babylon, Joe McCall Johnson, and Josh Gondelman. Thanks to Matt Berender and the staff and crew at the Riverside Theater here in Milwaukee. Thanks to all of you for listening. Get home wherever you may be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.

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On the TED Radio Hour, MIT psychologist Sherry Turkle, her latest research into the intimate relationships people are having with chatbots.

Technologies that say, I care about you, I love you, I'm here for you, take care of me. The pros and cons of artificial intimacy. That's on the TED Radio Hour from NPR.