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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Hey, Seattle, get ready for me-attle. I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Paramount Theater in Seattle, Washington, filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Tom Papa.
Hi, everybody. I'm Tom Papa, and I'm filling in for Peter Sagal. And true story, I was not supposed to be here at all today, but thank you.
But thanks to some very last minute unforeseen circumstances, now I'm hosting. It just goes to show, if you wish hard enough and long enough, a good friend of yours will get COVID and you can take his job. Dreams do come true. Later on, Seattle's own food legend, J. Kenji Lopez-Alt will be stopping in to play our game.
But first, it's your turn. Give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, my name is Maureen Masters, and I am in Lawrence, Kansas. Nice to see you, Maureen, or hear from you. What do you do there in Kansas? I'm trying to identify as a retired person, so...
I garden, I watch birds, I train cats, and I'm trying to get squirrels to eat out of my hands. Wow. What's easier, training cats or getting squirrels to eat out of your hands? Neck and neck right now.
All right, Maureen, let's introduce you to our panel. First up, a writer for Big Mouth, season seven is on Netflix now. It's Shantira Jackson. Next, the host of the daily podcast TBTL and the public radio variety show Livewire, which will be live at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland June 6th, Luke Burbank. Hey, Maureen. Good morning.
And an Emmy-winning writer whose latest book, I'll Show Myself Out, is available in paperback. It's Jesse Klein. I heard Jesse Klein, you work hard.
Welcome to the show, Maureen. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready? Absolutely. All right. Your first quote is from Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. It was done by Mrs. Alito.
Justice Alito there was joining Senator Bob Menendez in what the New York Times this week called a time honored bipartisan political strategy. Blaming who when you get in trouble? His wife. Yes, you're right. Your wife. Yes.
The hot new trend is blaming your wife. Justice Alito, Senator Menendez, that guy in the Bible who was the first person ever. Everybody who's anybody is saying it's her fault. The strategy is really very useful. I can't believe my wife gave Peter Sagal COVID. LAUGHTER
I think it like wasn't the initial story from Alito was his wife decided to do this to like troll their neighbor So the wife had had supposedly like an argument with the neighbor about politics This was shortly after January 6th And so then she had done that to sort of like be like in your face But then two days later they found at their beach house. They were also flying a crazy-ass flag from like a whole other different conspiracy theory and
Which really torpedoed the idea that this was just kind of an across-the-fence argument. I think that they know what they're doing to us all the time. I think that it's like when toddlers hide and they think you can't see them. They'll just be like, if I just say you can't see me, that's what's happening. I think that's what our entire Supreme Court...
They're like, I got on a road, but nobody knows. You're behind the curtains. We see your feet. Brett Kavanaugh does not understand object permanence. All right, Maureen, here is your next quote. My closest friends couldn't tell the difference.
That was an actress angry that an AI company used her voice after she told them they couldn't. Who was upset a chatbot was imitating her? I want to say Scarlett Johansson. Yeah, Scarlett Johansson. You're right, Maureen. Scarlett Johansson, Scarlett Johansson, Black Widow, you got it. Are you talking to my mom?
Shantira, I'm talking to all of our moms. Our moms, yeah. OpenAI, which makes ChatGPT, stole her voice for their chatbot. It was such a huge scandal, no one noticed they also updated their terms and conditions to, quote, use all our organs for battery. I offered to let them use my voice free of charge. Ha ha ha!
They described it as limited interest in having Luke Burbank do that. I was listening to a story about this whole, like supposedly there's been a huge...
leap forward in these programs and chat GPT and how kind of like it is that movie Her, like the person that you're dealing with. And they said there's a variety of things you can do with the voice. Like you can make it angrier. Oh. A kink. Which, like, what is the use case for that? I want to make it so that the AI chatbot is angrier at me. Yes. The answer is a kink. Yes. Yeah. 100%.
I haven't done my work today, Chappie G. I'm a bad boy. All right, Maureen, your last quote is from the CEO of a big investment firm. I'll drink water. I'll walk around. I'll take a little nap. That CEO is part of the latest trend in executives and A-listers, making it through the day without what? Without their cell phones.
Or something different. Yes. We've narrowed it down to something different. We're going to go with something different. This is terrible news for businesses here in Seattle, especially Starbucks. Coffee. Yes, that was my second guess. Coffee, right. Yeah. I don't know how people do it. That was very hesitant applause from Seattle audience.
Coffee. Everyone is giving up coffee. Mark Zuckerberg, Gisele Bundchen, Mark Cuban, and your friend who everybody now calls Sleepy Dan. Woo-hoo!
The Wall Street Journal calls skipping coffee the latest humblebrag. What a weird brag. Can you imagine walking in line at Starbucks just to get to the front and say, nothing for me, thank you? Well, I think that this is pretty wild because if I had a billion dollars, I wouldn't need any coffee either. Oh, I know what I could do. I'll look at my billion dollars and that'll wake me up. I do think...
That if the line is more than five people at the coffee shop, your new order is black coffee. I'm sorry. It could be a sign. You know at the train station, it's going click, click, click, click, click. It just goes down to everyone's ordering black coffee until we get this sorted out. Yes. I love that. It's like when someone at a crowded bar is like, I'll have the specialty mojito. And the bartender has to take out like 60 tools. And like,
Don their leather vest. Get ready for artisanal. I support everybody doing stuff black. So, yes. I've never felt like more of an ally. Ally. A white man ally. Thank you, white man. You're welcome. Thank you so much. You're welcome, America.
All right, Bill, how did Maureen do? She's going to be running down the streets of Lawrence, Kansas City and I won, I won, I won. Good job, Maureen. Thank you so much. Thank you, Maureen. Thanks for playing and good luck with the cat and the squirrel. Panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.
Luke, listen to this quote from Bill. Bring your ass. That is now the official tourism slogan of what state? Oh, man. Well, we can rule out Utah. So I got it down to 49. Would you like a hint? I would love a hint, Tom. Okay. Okay.
It replaces Land of 10,000 Lakes, you ass. It's Minnesota? That's right. Minnesota. When the Minnesota Timberwolves made it to the NBA Western Conference Finals this week, commentator Charles Barkley said, I haven't been to Minnesota in 20 years. And T-Wolves star Anthony Edwards responded, bring your ass. Ha ha ha ha.
Then, and we fully support this, Minnesota's state tourism agency immediately adopted the slogan. And bringyourass.com now redirects you to their website. Oh, my God. I have to say, personally, I really hope this catches on in every state. Just think, Virginia is for ass lovers. Yeah.
Or my favorite, my favorite, what happens in Vegas stays in your ass. Medically true. I think it's pretty good. I mean, Minnesota, right? Why not? That's their other slogan. Minnesota, your girlfriend's family lives there.
Coming up, whatever you do, don't look up. We'll tell you why in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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Hey, it's Peter Sagal in our latest bonus episode. It's another edition of the Wait, Wait, Wayback Machine. That's the game where we ask a listener questions that appeared on our show 20 years ago. Oh, my goodness. Oh, this one I know. Is this...
Oh, no. You could be a contestant in a future bonus episode by signing up for Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Plus. Now, if you've already done it, thank you so much. If you haven't, though, now is your chance. You get bonus content, sponsor-free listening, and you get to support the work of NPR. Just go to plus.npr.org.
From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Shantira Jackson, Jesse Klein, and Luke Burbank. And here again is your host at the Paramount Theater in Seattle, Washington. Filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Tom Papa. Thanks, Bill.
Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, Tom. This is Greg. I'm calling from Corte Madera, California. Just a few freeway exits north of the Golden Gate Bridge in Marin County. Oh, that is a good part of the country. What do you do there? What do you do there for fun? Well, when I'm not in my hot tub, we enjoy hiking with the dogs. I feel like the hot tub was kind of an invitation. Anybody from the panel is welcome to join. Not now, not now. We've got a ways to go.
All right, it's nice to have you with us, Greg. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell the truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? Stain-blocking ceiling paint in the news. Much like winning a hot dog eating contest, getting stains on your ceiling is both disgusting and impressive. Stain-blocking ceiling paint hit the headlines this week.
Our panelists are going to tell you why. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight-waiter of your choice on your voicemail.
First up is Jessie Klein. Brynn Smith has long been considered a medical miracle by all who know her in her close-knit community of Montecito, California. Even though she just turned 70 years old, she appears no older than a fresh-faced 21-year-old. Brynn has been famously tight-lipped about it until this week, when on the occasion of her 70th birthday, she gave an interview to the local paper in which she finally spilled the beans, or rather, the paint.
"Saxons are used to rooting out beauty tricks that you might not expect," says Bryn. "We use natural aloe for sunburns, honey and chamomile for face masks, things like that. So years ago when someone on my anti-vax Friendster group told me they'd heard about using stain-protecting ceiling paint for skin, I was all ears, like, 'You've got my attention.' The good thing," Bryn recounts, "is that it's affordable and you can find it in bulk anywhere paint is sold."
Bryn recalls once asking her local hardware store why they always had so much of it. I asked, doesn't anyone else here buy it? And they said, not really. Just a few old pervs here and there. So that's 70-year-old sunscreen sealing paint from Jesse Klein. Your next paint parable comes from Luke Burbank.
What do you get for the person who has everything? An indictment in Arizona? A $153 million judgment for defamation in Georgia? A tenuous relationship with brown hair dye? No, this guy's already got all of that.
Rudy Giuliani is turning 80 years young this month and he's gonna party like it's his birthday with celebrations in New York and Palm Beach and the invite that went out did include an Amazon gift registry with things that he was asking for a document scanner a podcasting microphone and something listed as stain blocking ceiling paint which someone has purchased for him and
It is unclear what Giuliani's exact plans are for the paint or how his ceilings got so stained, but it's safe to assume he'll be blaming it on Crooked Hillary or Sleepy Joe, which ironically is also the name of a weighted anti-anxiety teddy bear that he's requested. Still available on the list, $49.99.
So that's Rudy Giuliani creepy ceiling paint from Luke Burbank. And your last story of the scare up there comes from Shantira Jackson. Kristen Waithe is a retired nurse from Des Moines, Iowa. She's always been a couponer and even made an appearance on Extreme Couponing in the 90s. After retiring, Kristen moved on from coupons and set her sights on winning raffles. After much trial and error,
And a little bit of luck, Kristen won her first prize, a pack of kosher hot dogs from her local deli. And boy, was she hooked. Ha ha ha!
Kristen got so good at winning, there were new prizes showing up on her front door every morning. Her husband Dan began to worry when Kristen started winning raffles for things she didn't really need. Kristen agreed to go to Raffles Anonymous twice a week. And things were going great until an 18-wheeler full of a lifetime supply of stain-blocking ceiling paint pulled up to the house.
if they painted every ceiling in Des Moines, there would still be an endless supply. Now Kristen finally learned her lesson and gave up on big raffles, though she still enters local raffles for donuts and other desserts. She calls it being California sober. Laughter
Okay, Greg. So you've got the 70-year-old sunscreen ceiling paint from Jesse Klein. You've got the Rudy Giuliani asking for stain-blocking ceiling paint for his 80th birthday from Luke. And Shantira's story about a raffle-addicted woman who hit rock bottom by winning ceiling paint. Which is the real story from this week's news? I believe...
New York's former mayor may have put something strange on his birthday list. All right, so your choice is Luke's story about Rudy Giuliani. To find out the correct answer, we spoke to the reporter who broke the real story. Gifts on Rudy Giuliani's birthday list included a 55-inch TV, Giorgio Armani cologne, and stain-blocking ceiling stickers.
That was Ian Moore of Page Six talking about Rudy Giuliani's birthday wish list, which for reasons best left unknown included stain-blocking ceiling paint. Congratulations, Greg. You got it right. You earned a point for Luke Burbank, and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you for playing with us, Greg. Thanks, everybody. See you in the hot tub.
And now the game we call Not My Job. J. Kenji Lopez-Alt is a chef and food writer who first found fame creating the Food Lab blog for Serious Eats. Since then, he started his own YouTube channel, wrote a kids' book, and has been going restaurant by restaurant on a quest to eat all the teriyaki in Seattle.
There's a lot of it. We love it. Jake Kenji Lopez-Alt, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Oh, thank you for having me. It's really good to see you. You too. You had a very interesting first job getting into the restaurant business when you were a youngster. What was that job?
I was a knight of the round grill at a Mongolian grill, you know, one of those places where you... My first job was actually prep cook. I got promoted to knight of the round grill within a month. Oh, really? Yeah. How did you rise in the ranks so far? I was mostly related to my catching shrimp behind my back skills. Nice. Did you have that skill when you went in or you just kind of... No, no, no. I trained extracurricularly. Yeah.
I went home, practiced with like, you know, rocks and worms and stuff like that. That's very impressive. Now, you have a really cool bent in your food journey in that you have a real, you're able to be very accessible of like showing people what it is, but also backing up with the science behind food and food prep. How did, what was your first love? Like, what was it, were you a science mind or were you a food mind? Yeah.
Science was my first love. My first love was Don Herbert, Mr. Wizard. Mr. Wizard, yeah. I would wake up at 6 a.m. every day so I could watch that show when I was a little kid. And so I think science communication has always been sort of what I've enjoyed. I've enjoyed watching good science communicators, and I thought, hey, that's a thing I could maybe try and do. I don't think it necessarily had to be science, but I like science and I like cooking. Wow. So how old were you when you were watching Mr. Wizard? Like 6.
Like six. Around then, yeah. It was like, I don't know, in the mid-80s. Right, right. And your parents were impressed? They were like, oh, cool. They were asleep. Oh, they were asleep. Yeah. They'd get up early and go, watch Mr. Wizard. In my Winnie the Pooh onesie, yeah. Aw. Adorable. Yeah.
And you're a stay-at-home dad. How many kids do you have? I got two. You got two. How old are they now? Seven and two and a half. Seven and two and a half. Well, half of that's great.
I find that they improve with age. They do improve with age. I felt the same way. I was like, this kid's cute when they first show up. This is cute, but one day when we can sit in a diner and have a conversation, it's going to be really amazing. Yeah, I find them bearable right now. Yeah. So how do you balance the... And you also got a houseboat.
Yeah. Where you're going to move your new studio. You're going to be doing stuff there. Yeah, yeah. Did you get the houseboat because children are in the real house? Yes, the children are in the real house. Yeah, it's balancing working in a, trying to work out of a kitchen where you're also trying to feed a family that includes a seven-year-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old. It got a little, yeah, difficult. That
That really shows how difficult children are, that you'd rather be on a boat rocking back and forth and say that that's easier to cook there than being home with these children. You have to put your bowl on the right side of the cutting board so that when your carrots roll off, they just go right into it. You do very cool cross-culture stuff. You don't have any boundaries, it seems.
And I grew up Italian-American. And when I saw your video of putting pasta in a wok and doing a stir fry, I have to say, I got nervous and called my grandma. Was this to calm yourself down or to reassure her? Just to see, am I allowed to watch this video? Yeah.
Kenji, how do you like the There television show? Ah, good question. Oh, I saw the first season of it. I thought it was probably, yeah, I think as far as sort of capturing the feel of what a restaurant kitchen is like, it got closer than anything I've seen, and it made me not want to watch this.
second season. PTSD. I've heard the second season is great also. I think it was wonderful. Especially that episode seven. The one that's all one long shot where the tension builds and builds. That feels like the first
Yeah. It feels like a four-hour service compressed into a 20-minute episode of television. But yeah, imagine that going for like four hours, but you're also doing it seven days a week and you're doing it on like four hours of sleep. That's like, that's restaurant life. That's insane. Explain to me what the Kenji effect is. I don't know. Yes, you do. I don't know. I like to tell people if I find something good to eat and I like to share that. And then sometimes people go and eat that after.
Eat that thing after. When I got here this morning, I like, very basic of me, Googled good lunch in Seattle and your face popped up. Did you have me? You recommend.
I recommended like a fish and chips place I want to check out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just saved it. It was a list of 10. Okay. That was probably Emerald City fish and chips maybe? I think it is and it's on the list. Yeah, yeah. Don't go there. I'm going. And then I saw that you were the guest and I was like, damn, he really knows what he's doing. He is number one before Wikipedia. It's you. Should we play the game? Yeah. Yeah, let's play the game.
Thank you. J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, we've invited you here to play a game we're calling... Serious Eats meet Serious Feets. Okay. You wrote for Serious Eats, so we thought we'd ask you about three different people with serious feet. Okay.
Like the kind covered by your bright sneakers. Yeah, the kind in your shoes. Answer two out of three correctly, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Kenji playing for? Jessica Castillo of Seattle, Washington. Thank you.
All right. Are you ready? I'm ready, yes. Okay. Here's your first question. Okay. Football kickers, of course, have very serious feet. And as we now know, really well thought out opinions about women in the workplace. What did one player for the San Diego Chargers say about their team's kicker when he was miked up on the field?
A. I just want to pick that little guy up and give him a piggyback ride. B. Why doesn't he wear his helmet on his foot? Or C. What's the name of our kicker? What's the one you're supposed to go to if you don't know? I'll read the answers again. Yeah, it's very clearly C. But yeah, read them again. You got it. You got it. I did. Yeah, C. You're right. You're right.
C. And when he was told it was Cameron Dicker, a.k.a. Dicker the Kicker, he did not believe it. Here's your next question. Soccer players have serious feet. Lee Todd, a player in the UK, holds the record for getting the fastest red card just two seconds into a match. What did he do to get ejected?
A, he forgot to put on his shorts before running on the field. B, after the referee blew the whistle to start the game, he said, F me, that was loud. Or C, told a player on the other team, as soon as the match starts, I'm going to punch you, and then punched him. Ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm looking to the person who gave me the right answer last time. You got a plant out there? I'm going to go with B. You're right. Yeah, there you go. You got it.
All right, you're doing great. Yeah, thank you. I knew all these answers. I watched the news. Last question. Maybe the most serious pair of feet ever belonged to Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But his feet didn't just make him millions as a dancer. He also did what with them?
A. Played the drums with Wynton Marsalis' jazz band holding the sticks with his toes. B. Used them as brushes to make paintings on the floor based on the theme of the Irish potato famine. Or C. Disassembled and reassembled a Rolex watch while blindfolded. Ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm going to go with the painting. That's right. It's the feet paintings. Fun fact, his feet paintings have sold for more than $100,000 each. Bill, how did Kenji do on our quiz? I know somebody, Michael Flatley, is going to be really proud. He got them all right. Bravo. Bravo.
J. Kenji Lopez-Alt is author of The Food Lab, and he co-hosts the Radiotopia podcast, The Recipe with Kenji and Deb. J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell. Thank you. Thank you.
In just a minute, we smell something expensive in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Chantira Jackson, and Jesse Klein. And here again is your host at the Paramount Theater in Seattle, Washington, filling in for Peter Sagal. It's Tom Papa. Thanks, Bill.
In just a minute, we party like it's 1899. That's right, it's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from this week's news. Jessie. Yes. There are home security systems that sound a loud siren and call the police.
Well, a new generation of alarms does what to deter robbers? Does it bark like a dog? No. Oh, well, I'm patenting that idea. Yes, I'd like a hint. Would you like a hint? I would love one. Okay. It hurts and you'll have to do laundry. Does it make them moms? Is there one more hint or have I lost this point? Pain.
Paintballs them. Yes, right. It shoots paint at them. Yes, it does. Oh. It shoots intruders with paintballs. The $2,000 PaintCam Eve system uses AI to detect if the person at the door is a threat. And if they are, it barrages them with paintballs.
How could this go wrong? This will successfully thwart any would-be robber or Girl Scout delivering those cookies you ordered. Is this company run by Macaulay Culkin? This has powerful Home Alone vibes. Jessie. Yes? This week, a woman discovered her husband was having an affair after their dog did what? The dog...
The dog, like, threw up underwear? Yes, ate another woman's underwear. But then how is it seen? Come with me. I'm going to take you on a ride. Bring your ass. There's two options. The woman took the dog to the vet, who, by the way, mentioned, quote, it was my first day. The vet? The vet said once they showed the woman what they had removed from the dog's stomach...
She immediately called the husband, yelled at him, and he admitted to the affair. So the dog was in trouble. They took it in. And now someone's in the doghouse because the dog is in the ICU. Be cool, Dr. Killjoy. Just say it was a stick. I think I'm on the wrong side here, I feel like. Just trying to keep it interesting. The dynamism of this program.
The dog is fine, by the way. Plus, while they were there at the vet, they were able to neuter the husband. So sad.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago or come see us on the road. We'll be returning once again to the Mann Center in Philadelphia on June 27th. I'll be there if Peter gets gout. LAUGHTER
For tickets and information about all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Tiffany. I'm calling from Denver, Colorado. Ah. Thank you.
How is Denver, Colorado? What do you do there? It's good. Weather's kind of crazy out here. Still trying to figure out if it's snow season or drought season, I guess. Yeah, what should it be? In olden times, when weather was normal, what would May be like? I haven't lived here long enough to tell you, but I think probably what it is right now. Still cold. Is it possible it's the curse of Lucifer?
The weather trouble? The fact that you have a 80-foot demonic, anatomically correct blue horse by the airport named Lucifer? Did the weird stuff start after you erected that idol? She just got there, Lou. Okay.
Well, welcome to the show, Tiffany. Thank you. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner. Here's your first limerick. Saying cheers for thanks isn't that odd. Wearing jumpers won't make me a fraud.
Give my accent a break. I am not being fake. I've been changed after living... Abroad! Yes! That's right, abroad. You know that dumb little accent your friend has when they come back from study abroad? Turns out it's real.
Linguistics has just validated the worst person at your college who came back from Barcelona. Ibiza. So fun to say. Calgary. That one gets me every time. Luke, you're not getting the game. Yes.
All right, here's your next limerick. Leaving picnic trash is a grave sin, but this box is too large to fit in. After lunch on the grass next to cardboard and glass, my used pizza box gets its own... Bin? That's right, bin. Last week, New York's Central Park Conservatory installed a new recycling bin just for pizza boxes.
There's never been a trash can so tailored to New Yorkers since the one that rented for $6,000 a month. The new receptacle is tall and square so you can stack pizza boxes flat instead of having to cram the pizza box into a little round hole the same way you cram the pizza slice into your face hole.
All right, here's your last limerick. Young men who are not fully grown have a scent that makes most mortals moan. But most body spray keeps their classmates at bay. So they're wearing expensive... Is it cologne? Yes, it is. Cologne. Okay.
According to the New York Times, luxury cologne is all the rage with middle school boys. Apparently, they've all moved on from low-dex body spray to Tom Ford's $300 tobacco vanille. And for the little ones, Chanel number this many. I feel like this...
Middle school boys have always been on either two ends of the spectrum where it's absolutely never seen deodorant a day in their lives. Or more cologne than any one human should ever have on. Yeah. I think a lot of teenage boys, like my memory of this was their understanding is that they have to use, that it's like a single use bottle. Oh.
They really should just back up and encourage these kids to start with the simple things like showering and toothpaste. Bill, how did Tiffany do? Tiffany was perfect. Three in a row. Thank you so much. This was a dream. Thank you so much for being here. Say goodbye to Tiffany, everyone. Bye, Tiffany. Bye, Tiffany.
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Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Luke has three. Shentera and Jesse each have two. Ooh, so a tie with two. Jesse, we're going to start with you. Oh, please. The clock will start.
When I begin your first question. Okay. Fill in the blank. Oy. On Thursday, the Justice Department filed an antitrust lawsuit against blank. Ticketmaster. Right. On Wednesday, Donald Trump's primary challenger, blank, said she would vote for him.
Nikki Haley. Right. This week, dozens of people were injured after several blanks touched down in Iowa. Tornadoes. Right. Following a fatal helicopter crash, funeral services for the president of blank began on Tuesday. Iran. Right. After being told by the city that the boat in his driveway needed to be behind a fence, a man in California built the fence and then blanked.
and then painted it. Right. Painted a photorealistic picture of his boat on it. On Monday, seafood chain Blank officially filed for bankruptcy.
Red Lobster. Right. On Wednesday, Mattel announced that nine female athletes would have blank dolls created of them. Barbie dolls. Right. This week, a woman was pulled over at 100 miles an hour for drag racing a Ford Mustang while driving a blank. A cyber truck. A post office truck.
The police were just about to pull over the Mustang when the postal truck flew by them at 100 miles an hour. Yes, she shouldn't have been racing on the job, but you know the post office motto, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor some D-bag in a souped-up Mustang will stop us.
What a world. Bill, how did Jesse do? Seven right, 14 more. Total is 16. You're in the lead. Wow. Nicely done. All right, Shantira, you're up next. Fill in the blank.
Palestine. The UK?
Trump. Right. According to new data, blank levels are expected to rise faster than predicted. Sea levels? Right. While responding to a call about a car colliding with a moose, an ambulance in Canada blanked. Hit a moose. Right.
According to a new study, taking blank oil supplements may increase risk of stroke. Fish oil? Right. This week, a bill was put before the Taiwanese parliament that one member disagreed with. And then a man ran away with it, and it was hell! That's right!
Great guess. To make sure it didn't pass, he stole the bill off the podium and tried to run out of the building. Baller. It was shocking to see, but don't worry, it could never happen in America because no one in Congress has been able to move faster than a brisk walk for at least 20 years. LAUGHTER
Bill, how did Shantira do? I can't remember this happening, but she got seven right, 14 more points, total of 16, tied with Jessie. So how many does Luke need to win? Seven. Seven. Okay, Luke, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the Supreme Court sided with the GOP over a redistricting map in blank. South Carolina. Right. On Wednesday, the White House announced a new round of blank debt relief.
Student loan. Right. This week, families of students and teachers at Robb Elementary School in blank reached a $2 million settlement with the city. Uvalde. Right. On Monday, the International Criminal Court announced it was seeking an arrest warrant for Israeli President blank. Benjamin Netanyahu. Right. This week, world champion speed eater Takiro Kobayashi announced he was retiring to focus on blank.
Curing his heartburn. Close. To focus on his gut health. I mean, I'm getting a... All right. You're making a case. I'm going to go for the judgment to Bill. Let's go for gut health. It's health. You're in. Right. Thank you.
Citing slower-than-average sales, Nissan announced it was postponing production on some blank vehicles. EVs. Right. This week, a mariachi band who attacked a fire-eater to take his performance space on a street in Mexico regretted their actions after the fire-eater blanked. Blew fire on them. Yes. Yes.
In video captured by security cameras, you can see the mariachi band try to force the fire eater out of his space, only to be met by a bunch of fireballs. The band quickly fled the scene and decided to try their luck against... Oh, no. Why did they pick the shark juggler? Bill, did Luke do well enough to win? Well, he got seven right.
14 more points. And he totals 17 with a win. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict who's going to blame their spouse next. But first, let me tell you...
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlords. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
B.J. Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey. Our chatbot is voiced by Peter Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator. Technical direction, Lorna White, with special thanks this week to Patrick Murray.
Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. The executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, who's going to be the next person to blame their spouse? Shantira Jackson. Every suburban mom is going to blame her husband for making Red Lobster go bankrupt after he ate too much at English Shrimp. LAUGHTER
Luke Burbank. Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker will blame his wife for letting him think that leaving the house and speaking his mind was an okay thing for a man to do. Jesse Klein. Well, Elon Musk isn't married, but if he was, he would try to blame the Cybertruck design on his wife, but no one would believe it because only a man could make something that looks that stupid. LAUGHTER
And if any of that happens, panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Shantira Jackson, Luke Burbank, and Jesse Klein. Thank you to the staff and crew at the Paramount Theater. Special thanks to KNKX and KUOW here in Seattle. And thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Tom Papa in for Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week. This...
is NPR.
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On this week's episode of Wildcard, author Taffy Brodesser-Ackner talks about the strange places we can find peace. I've always felt safe when I was in motion. I think that being in transit is actually the only time you can stop. Like, I feel very safe. I'm Rachel Martin. Join us for NPR's Wildcard podcast, the game where cards control the conversation.