WWDTM: Governor Whitmer
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Support for this podcast and the following message comes from Autograph Collection Hotels, with over 300 independent hotels around the world, each exactly like nothing else. Autograph Collection is part of the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio of hotel brands. Find the unforgettable at AutographCollection.com. From NPR and Easy Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Take a Michigander at this hunk of man.

I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. It is such a great time to be in Detroit. The Lions are winning. The Tigers made the postseason. Downtown is thriving. We assume, because we don't live here, that it is all due solely to the efforts of Governor Gretchen Whitmer. She seems nice.

So later on, we are going to have her here with us on stage so she can take all the credit. But first, we want to hear briefly about where you're from before you answer our questions and play our games. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Charlie from Cleveland, Ohio. Hi, Charlie. How are you?

I'm well. All right. Love that energy. All right. It's that fun, fun Midwestern rivalry. We love them both. Let me just give you a chance, since you got booed by the Detroit News here, is anything that you, as a native of Cleveland, would like to say to the people of Detroit in return? And keep it clean. I'm not originally from here. I'm from here.

It's not his fault! Well, welcome to the show, Charles. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, he's a comedian whose stand-up special People Pleaser is streaming now. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. Next, he's a comedian who will be headlining at Big Laugh Comedy in Fort Worth on December 13th and 14th. It's Hari Kondabolu. Hello there. Hello.

And she is a style reporter for the Washington Post. It's Roxanne Roberts. Hello, hello.

So Charles, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis, of course, is going to read for you three quotations from the week's news. Your job, explain or identify just two of them, just two, and you will win our prize, any voice from anyone on our show for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Let's do it then. All right, Charles, Christmas season is almost here. So your first quote is from a review of Netflix's new Christmas movie, Hot Frosty. Do you want to boink a snowman?

So, Hot Frosty, that's its real name, is just one of a new series of holiday movies coming out this season that are surprisingly what? - Sexual? - Yes! They are sexy Christmas movies. They're coming, watch them with your kids and it ruins Christmas. Watch them with your parents and it ruins sex.

Now, it's a big change because before now, intimacy in holiday movies was just limited to over-the-scarf stuff. But Netflix and other streamers are premiering new Christmas films this year like Hot Frosty, The Merry Gentleman, and Miracle on 69th Street. LAUGHTER

Man, Hollywood's full of it, man. Really? Do you realize the number of years I've pitched sexy Christmas movies? But no, they did not want How the Milf Stole Christmas. They did not want Sex, Actually. Yeah. They did not want Babes in Toyland, same title, different plot. Right. Or for that matter, Here Comes Santa Claus. Yeah.

But Hot Frosty is a real movie, and it is, and I am not kidding, about an incredibly hunky snowman who comes to life. And it's not like the snowman comes to life and he gets jacked. He is jacked as a snowman. To give you an idea, to build this snowman, they needed a carrot, a bunch of pieces of coal, and an eggplant. Ha ha ha!

I don't like a jacked snowman because regular snowman is my body type. I know. I feel like we're losing representation. You might expect, you know, just the standard three spheres, one on top of each other, but the middle one has abs. Yeah, I don't like that. I also don't like that. I feel like this is too Christmas centered and it's too straight, right? We got to be more inclusive. Let's do two birds with one stone. I'm pitching a same-sex romance for Hanukkah called Gatel, Gatel, Gatel. Ha ha ha!

Sexy Hanukkah movies are just obvious. Like, what a miracle that little bit of oil lasted for eight nights. Your next quote, Charles, is from Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski. Right now, I'm waiting for him to name George Santos. Murkowski's wish might come true, given the people that Who has already announced just this week for his new cabinet.

Donald Trump. Donald Trump, yes. His first wave of appointments include Attorney General Matt Gaetz, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, and Secretary of Defense, a guy he saw on TV. LAUGHTER

Matt Gaetz? Really? Matt Gaetz? Well, come on. Matt Gaetz, remember, I mean, he's a lawyer. He knows the legal system, though the majority of his work is in the barely legal system. Yeah. If a caricature artist drew a picture of Matt Gaetz, it would just look like Matt Gaetz. That really is true. They would have to shrink his forehead down to regular. Yeah.

And everyone would be like, that doesn't look anything like you. You'd be like, isn't it funny? Now, Trump also wants Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to head up Health and Human Services, which is a little, let's be frank, it's a little like putting a parasitic brain worm in charge of antibiotics. Wait, it is that. He was against vaccines before the worms ate his brains. That's really true, yeah. How do you think it got the worm? LAUGHTER

It would be less damaging to appoint RFK Sr. at this point. I know, yeah. We'd do less damage. All right, Charles, here is your last quote. It's 10 a.m., and Dad's doing jello shots. That was from the Wall Street Journal about this new trend of parents attending parents' weekends this fall across the country at their kids' colleges, not to take tours and stuff, but in order to do what?

To party. Yes, to party. According to the Journal, more and more parents are skipping the usual activities in favor of partying with their kids, including day drinking, frat parties, and dominating in games of beer pong with the help of their titanium hips. Actually, when you put out the tiles, you pour some Solo Cups, and you play beer-jong. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Some parents, you know, some parents are not into this. They frown at this partying with their kids. But what's a better, say, mother-daughter bonding experience than barfing into the same dorm toilet? I'm sorry, Peter. I must stop you right there. Please. Because I'm having a very hard time understanding any college student wanting to party with their parents. Here is the crazy thing. I think that's insane. You may do that, but apparently...

They're into it. This is true. One student at Michigan named Brenna told the journal, quote, my mom was once a 21-year-old partying and celebrating with her friends, and I never got to see that. And now, Brenna, you'll see it every time you close your eyes for the rest of your life. Bill, how did Charles do in our quiz? Well, he is from Cleveland. But not originally. Originally.

But he lucked three in. So, Charles, congratulations. You're a winner. Congratulations, Charles. Thank you. Thanks for playing, Charles. Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Hari, this week, scientists are warning of a variety of health risks, including skin disease and, quote, explosive diarrhea that are associated with what common activity? Sunscreen. Using sunscreen. No. No.

I've never used sunscreen, I'll be honest with you. It did feel a little racist when you said that, yeah. Yeah, it felt weird.

No, I'll give you a hint. Okay. Vintage stores apparently should have a warning label. No, really? Yeah. Trying on the clothes of strangers and dead people? Yes, that apparently is not particularly good for your health. That's my favorite thing to do, though, Peter. And a huge blow to people who love their sweaters dusty. Experts in microbiology are warning that going shopping in vintage or thrift shops carries the risk of contracting athlete's foot, ringworm, and even gastrointestinal diseases.

So that's where it came from. Yeah, it's terrible news. Where am I supposed to buy my underwear now?

This is tough, because I was in a vintage store, and I felt really bad afterwards, and it must have been that hat I ate. Do you have hard, do any of you have hard and fast rules? I used to be against buying used shoes, but that's gone by the wayside. Right. Like, are there, do any of you have rules about what you will not buy? Toothbrush. Fair. Fair. Fair. Yeah. Yeah.

Josh, you're probably familiar with Lindt Chocolate, the makers of, quote, "expertly crafted chocolate with the finest ingredients," unquote. Well, this week, as part of a lawsuit, the Lindt Chocolate Company was forced to admit what? That they don't use the finest ingredients. Exactly right. They admitted it's not expertly crafted with the finest ingredients.

A group of consumers sued Lindt after it was exposed that the secret to their chocolate's rich gourmet flavor is high levels of the heavy metal cadmium, which to be fair is among toxic heavy metals, the finest. So in order to sort of try to defuse this lawsuit, they had to admit in court that the slogan expertly crafted with the finest ingredients is just in their words, quote, puffery, right?

And if the case goes forward, or even if it's settled, it might lead to honest advertising in all candy. Hershey's. It's sweet brown wax. Payday. Whatever we found on the factory floor covered in chocolate. Whoa. Lint chocolate uses toxic metal? They should just rebrand as Lint Biscuit. Yeah. Oh. Okay. All right. All right.

Coming up, our panelists take a trip to Argentina and our bluff, the listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Josh Gondolin, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan, Peter Sagan. Thank you, Bill. Thank you.

Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. All the information is right there for you. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Chuck from Indianapolis. Hey, Chuck from Indianapolis. Hang on a second. Let me check with something. Do you hate Indianapolis?

I'm just going to tell you, Chuck, there are touchy people here in Detroit. What do you do there in Indianapolis?

Well, I work for a women-owned management consulting company that's actually based in San Francisco. And, I mean, there's another city to hate there. And I'm a visual communications consultant. Chuck, welcome to the show. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Chuck's topic? What's new in Argentina? There's always something new going on in Argentina. For example, did you know they now want you to cry for Argentina? No.

Go ahead.

This week, we heard about an exciting new development coming out of that country. Our panel is going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the weight-weighter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes. All right. Let's hear first from Josh Gondelman. With climate change becoming an increasingly dangerous reality, President Javier Millet of Argentina has taken some extreme measures to hit his country's climate goals. To keep the nation's average temperature as low as possible, he has announced his plans to annex Antarctica...

"It's simple," said President Millay, in an accent you can imagine but I will not attempt. "Think about how much of our great nation now creates no carbon emissions at all. From now on, it shall be known as 'En Targentina.'" An Argentinian takeover was fairly simple, given that most of the inhabitants are scientists who offered little resistance but did manage to peer review their new government.

A group of belligerent American researchers attempted to stand their ground chanting, "Our snow, we won't go! Our snow, we won't go!" President Millet responded, "Esta es la Ant-Argentina. Habla español." Which translates to, "This is Ant-Argentina. Speak Spanish." Argentina lowers its average temperature by claiming they now own Antarctica. Your next Argentina tidings come from Roxanne Roberts.

Argentine billionaire, Miquel Garzon, is not just a soccer enthusiast. He's the self-proclaimed number one fan of soccer superstar Lionel Messi. Garzon loves him so much that he thinks the Argentine flag should be redesigned to include Messi's face and has poured more than two billion of his own fortune into a country-wide referendum that will be on election ballots next year.

Garzon, think of a cross between Elon Musk and the Phillies fanatic, said he considered changing the country's name to Mesutina, but decided that might be a bit much. He also thought about putting Messi on currency would be cool, but Argentina's crazy inflation might make the bills obsolete immediately.

Garzon announced Monday that more than two million Argentinians had signed his petitions. One Argentinian who's not crazy about the idea, Messi, who has quietly tried to talk Garzon into dropping his pet project with no luck. Quote, this is not just about Leo, said Garzon. It's about our history, our sport, and our great country. A Argentinian plutocrat tries to get...

Superstar Lionel Messi's face on the Argentinian national flag. Your last story of What's Up Down South is from Harry Kondabolu. Argentina isn't just a great place for hikers and for people who randomly have German last names. It's now a safe haven for werewolves. In an austerity measure, Argentina is eradicating a 50-year-old law that protects your kid from becoming a werewolf.

As all Argentinians know, your seventh consecutive son or daughter becomes a werewolf unless, according to this law, the president of Argentina automatically becomes your child's godparent and gives that kid a scholarship for $150. An amount that doesn't even cover a semester at University of Phoenix Online.

Why end this law now? Is it because more than 12,000 children are estimated to have become god-sons and god-daughters to an Argentine president in the past 117 years? Or could this drastic cut be the result of current President Millet being a werewolf himself? Werewolves are not known for bureaucracy. When they spot their victim, there is no paperwork or higher authority to check in with. Simply a thirst for flesh and unbridled bloodlust.

Also, there is a massive improvement of basketball skills as is depicted in the 1985 film Teen Wolf starring Michael J. Fox. All right, here are your choices. One of these things happened in Argentina recently.

Was it from Josh Gondelman that the Argentinian president announced that he has annexed Antarctica? From Roxanne Roberts, a billionaire down there trying to get Lionel Messi's face put on the national flag? Or from Hari Kondabolu, a law is repealed that made the president the godparent of every seventh child to prevent that child from becoming a werewolf? I think I'm going to have to go with Roxanne and Messi on the flag.

So your choice is Roxanne's story about a billionaire trying to get Lionel Messi on the country's flag. Well, to bring in the correct answer, we spoke to someone who knows a lot about the real story. The legend of the seventh son being a werewolf is still alive and well in South America.

That was anthropologist David Delbar, a PhD candidate at the University of Chicago and a scholar of werewolves. I'm sorry, Chuck, but as you now know, Hari had the real answer. You didn't win, but you did earn a point for Roxanne, which I know she loves. Thank you so much for playing. We really appreciate you calling. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

And now the game we call Not My Job, where we ask people about things they know nothing about. Gretchen Whitmer was born, raised, and educated in Michigan, and after service in the State House and State Senate, she was elected governor of the great state in 2018 and re-elected in 2022. She recently published a memoir, True Gretch, and we are honored that she joins us now. Governor Whitmer, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. Thank you.

So let's start with your nickname, Big Gretch. I know you embrace it now, but is it true you weren't crazy about it at first? No. So I'm named after both my grandmothers, Gretchen and Esther. And Grandma Gretchen always said, never let anyone call you Gretch. Your name is Gretchen. Gretch sounds like wretch. It's not pretty. So I've always had this aversion to being called Gretch.

And I don't know many women that want big in front of their nickname. So Big Gretch, when it first came to be during the pandemic, I was not sure what to make of it. And a woman who worked with me, Shakila Myers, who's from Detroit, said...

You don't understand. This is a compliment. This is like the people of Detroit just gave you the key to the city. Right. They love you. This is a nice thing. So now it's my favorite nickname, Big Reg. If there's not, if there might be somebody in the audience who's not as au courant with Detroit hip hop as you and I, that came from a, but it was bestowed upon you by a rapper, a Detroit rapper named G-Mac, right? Yeah.

So he made it into a song. It started in the city of Detroit, but he made Big Gretch into a song, and that's really what blew it up. Right. And for people who don't know it, I'm not going to attempt to perform it, but the chorus is, throw the buffs on her face, because that's Big Gretch. We ain't about to stress, we got Big Gretch. You can find her in the press under Big Gretch. Fresh in a new dress, yeah, that's Big Gretch.

And you said you weren't going to perform. It's almost like G-Mac Cash is here with us. It really is. That you must be, again, I don't know for sure, but you must be the only governor, the only sitting governor to have a rap song written in praise of you. That wouldn't surprise me. Have you met them? LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

I'm going to get in trouble now. Well, since you're already in trouble, tell us more. Sticking with nicknames for a second, you mention in the book that you've had other nicknames before Big Gretch, one of which was Gravity Gretchen.

Yes. And could you tell us how you got that particular nickname? Well, I'm a very accident-prone person. I'm a klutz. I run into things. I fall down. I mean, I was practicing in my state of the state last year, and I ran into one of the podiums. I had a huge bruise. It just happens all the time. But when I was in middle school, I went to church camp. And for some reason, it was out in Virginia, or West Virginia of all places, and

And I was running to a base and the other girl tagged me but pushed me really hard. And I went right into the cement and knocked out my front teeth. And so I came back from church camp in a wheelchair because I got 30 stitches in my knee. Both my hands were cut up. My face was cut up. And I was missing my teeth. And my father just looked at me and said...

Gravity Gretchen. And what did you do to anger God thusly? It's a good question. I felt most bad about my dad because he just paid for braces to fix the gap between those front teeth. But now I think I've got to figure out how I angered God. Something for the next book. Yeah.

Since we brought it up, I have to ask you about another time you fell down or at least were found on the ground in high school. Yeah. Which, again, I think is a unique story among America's governors. I was wondering if you could share that. Well, I'll just say this. There weren't, no dogs were shot in my book. That's true. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, so when I was in high school, I ran with a fast crowd. And it was the 80s. There was not a whole lot of parental oversight and a lot of access to alcohol. And I drank a lot before a football game. And I passed out between two cars. And my principal found me. And I tell this story because that was really when I kind of got it together. Yeah.

became the best, you know, the most improved student that year and went to Michigan State and, you know, ended up, thank you, go Green, ended up, you know, on the dean's list. And then I went to law school and graduated magna cum laude. But I think it was, I think it was that moment that really, it was devastating and I was punished and, but it,

It really inspired me to get my act together. Right. I get that. But in the telling of that story, which, as you say, is inspirational both in terms of its effect on your life and I think hopefully to the many young people who might read the book, there was a detail that you left out just now, which is when the principal found you. Yeah. Didn't you, like, vomit? Oh, I threw up on him. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I gotta tell you, this all sounds like Big Gretch Bay. It really does. It really does. Continuing, this is great because one of the interesting things about your life is that we can tell it via nicknames. Another famous one, of course, you can find it on merch, That Woman from Michigan. Thank you.

Which was bestowed upon you by President Trump, or as I guess we should call him, President Trump 1.0. It must be exciting. Are you hoping for a new nickname in the second term? I mean, we'll see. We'll see how it goes. I'm going to, you know, see how it goes. All right. But, you know, the T-shirt printers are ready in case he comes up with something. The Michigan's Etsy community is ready to roll. Thank you.

Governor Whitmer, it is an absolute thrill to be able to talk to you here in Detroit. But as we have with so many important people, we have invited you here to play a game that this time we are calling... Check out these not-so-Great Lakes. So Michigan, as I'm sure you know, is the Great Lakes state. Oh, we are? Yeah. So we thought...

We thought we'd ask you about some not-so-great lakes, that is, much, much smaller bodies of water. Answer two out of three questions about tiny lakes correctly, and you will win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for our show. Bill, who is Governor Whitmer playing for? Jeff Kruger of Livonia, Michigan.

Are you ready to do this? I'm ready. Here's your first question. One of the smallest bodies of water you can find is, of course, a hot tub. And if you happen to have a hot tub outside of your house in Monrovia, California in the 1990s, you had to watch out for what? A, a brand new STD that evolved in the heated water called Jacuzzi Ria.

B, Samson the hot tub bear, a 500-pound black bear who loved ending his day in somebody's hot tub. Or C, a business called Peeping Tim's Aerial Hot Tub Helicopter Tours. Samson the hot tub and bear. You're right. You just knew. I just had a feeling. You just had a feeling because of your knowledge of hot tubs, your knowledge of bears, both, neither? All of the above. All of the above, yes. All right. That was very good, Governor. Here's your next question.

Puddles. Harmless little bodies of water, but they can cause problems from time to time, as in when which of these happened? A. A Japanese government official got in trouble for making a subordinate give him a piggyback ride over a puddle. B. A single puddle caused a massive traffic jam in Texas when a Cybertruck rolled through it and shorted out. Or C. A Florida billionaire got caught trying to get a tax break by calling a puddle on his property an endangered wetland. LAUGHTER

I mean, it's, I think it's A. You think it's A, the Japanese government official. You're right. Oh. You're right. This happened back in 2016, and there was this big typhoon that damaged, and the minister in charge of, like, emergency relief showed up, and there was a big puddle, and he says he forgot to bring his overshoes, so he had a subordinate pick him up and carry him through the puddle.

Which did not go over well with the Japanese public. I had to apologize. All right, that's very good. That's very good. You have one more. Let's see if you can be perfect here. The largest public swimming pool ever, we think, was the Fleishacker Public Pool in San Francisco. It was so enormous during its heyday that what once happened? A, it was taken over by a pod of gray whales.

B, it had to close twice a day for low tide. Or C, they had to put lifeguards out to patrol the pool in rowboats. C. That's right. Wow. It was an enormous pool, now closed, now gone. Those with seawater piped in from the ocean next door, they say, could accommodate 10,000 people at once. Bill, how did Governor Whitmer do on our quiz? She's perfect. Yes. Yes.

Gretchen Whitmer is the governor of Michigan. Her new book, True Gretch, is available now. It's a hoot and a half. Governor Gretchen Whitmer, thank you so much for joining us. And wait, wait, don't tell me. Give it up for your governor, ladies and gentlemen. In just a minute, Bill goes foraging for his supper in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO.

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A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gundelman, Roxanne Roberts, and Hari Kondabolu. And here again is your host at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan, Peter Sagal.

Thanks, Bill. In just a minute, Bill finds out how many limericks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. In our Listener Limerick Challenge game, if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Hari, this week we learned people are stressing out about a different aspect of Thanksgiving than we all usually stress out about. What is it? Killing the turkey. No? No.

Can I have a hint? Well, I mean... This involves the turkey in some way. No, it doesn't. I mean, it doesn't involve any of the things we usually stress out about. Cooking the meal, dealing with your relatives, all that stuff. It's totally new. And this was not a problem at the first Thanksgiving because then all the pilgrims just dressed like pilgrims. What to wear. Exactly right. Your Thanksgiving outfit. What is it going to be? For generations, it was not a question. Thanksgiving was the last safe space for schlubs.

But no more loose pants at the dining table because now you need a whole new look to show to these same old people.

People are worried about this? Well, it's either people are genuinely worried about this or people who write for fashion magazines are desperate for content. So, for example, according to Marie Claire magazine, erring on the side of sophistication is a great way to approach Thanksgiving style. For young people, you know, you should wear the thing that shows how much you've changed now that you're in college. Something that says, I'm different now that I live in Madison. LAUGHTER

All you've got to do is be the third worst dressed person on any occasion. Why the third? Because if you're the first worst dressed, that's bad. And if you're the second worst dressed, what if the first worst dressed goes to the bathroom?

Very good. Very smart. Third worst dressed. You put a lot of thought into this. If the first worst dressed and the second worst dressed go into the bathroom together, it turns out somebody didn't mind the way they were dressed. That's right. And then, yeah, then, you know, you win some, you lose some. Exactly. Josh, this week the New York Times weighed in on a heated debate among theater and concert goers via their advice column. Are you actually obligated to do what?

To like clap really loud because you don't think they're gonna come up for an encore when you really know they're gonna come up for an encore? That's a very good question, but that was not addressed. It's another thing having to do with applause. Oh. Or give a standing ovation. Exactly right. Our standing ovations obligatory. The times ruled that yes, you do in fact have to participate in a standing ovation.

You just have to, but you can subvert it by doing different kinds of clapping. And this was real advice. They suggest the walking ovation, where you clap as you head to the door, right? That's worse than sitting. Oh, yeah, you guys are great. You guys are great. Yeah, I just got to get my car. There's the fingertip clap, right? Where you're just sort of clapping the edges, the ends of your fingers together just to indicate this is not sincere. And then, of course, there's just the clap,

which is gonorrhea. I've gotten many half-standing ovations in my life, and each one of them hurts more than not getting a standing ovation. When you say, like, a standing ovation... Meaning, like, I finish a show, and then half the audience stands up, and the other half refuses to stand up, which bothers me, because eventually you have to stand up to leave. Ha!

Yeah, but they'd rather get home late than give you the satisfaction of thinking that they liked you. When only a few people stand, that doesn't mean you didn't do a good job. It means those people thought you did a great job. Yeah, that's an audience half-standing perspective, and I appreciate that. But isn't there a standing ovation inflation? Yes.

I mean, there used to be like... Not for me. It had to be great, right? It had to be exceptional for you. Yeah, well, that's the problem. Thanks, Joe Biden. Yeah, that's why Trump won. Ovation and inflation.

Coming up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago and come see us on the road at Carnegie Hall in New York City on December 12th. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org and check out our sister podcast, How to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian help two roommates settle a dispute by calling up the very highest legal authority in the country, Martha Stewart.

Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Abby Whelan calling from Boise, Idaho. That's great. What do you do in Boise? I'm a cartographer. No, you are not. Yes. Who do you do maps for in this day and age? I make maps for travel guidebooks. Oh, how very cool. So like, you know, if somebody does the hiker's guide towards above Idaho mountains, you do the map and show people where to go?

Yes, that's me. Do you ever consider doing very small practical jokes, just like one trail on one map that leads people over one little cliff?

That sounds really fun, but I don't think my boss would like me very much if I did that. If you used your maps for murder. Well, welcome to the show, Abby. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to play? Yes, I am. Here is your first limerick. Though we spent lots of dough on this bling,

Our engagement was just a long fling. Since our love didn't linger, I've got a nude finger. The judge made me give back the... Ring? Yes, ring. In Massachusetts, you are now legally required to return the engagement ring even if the person who gave it to you is the one who called off the wedding. But don't worry, there are still no laws saying you just can't throw it at the bastard.

The Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled in favor of a man who broke up with his fiancée and then sued to get the $70,000 engagement ring back from her. Now, I do not know these people, nor frankly do I want to, but if he's the kind of guy who paid $70,000 for an engagement ring, he's going to sue you for something. Ha ha ha!

You said Massachusetts, you said. I did say that. Not New York State? I did not say New York State. Okay, noted. Okay. You're going to give up your plans to buy a $70,000 engagement ring now that you know this. All right, here is your next limerick. They grow, though we never plant seeds. Now they're meeting our fine dining needs. Once they've been cleaned, they're a fine leafy green. And our meals are now filled with...

Weeds? Weeds, yes! Weeds move over farm to table and make way for sidewalk crack to table. Foraging, we all know, has been a trend for a while, you know, with like wild mushrooms, but high-end restaurants are now focusing less on rare trendy plants like ramps, fiddlehead ferns, and more on weeds like dandelions and thistles. A chef first got the idea when he installed a rooftop garden and then forgot to take care of it for two months. LAUGHTER

The New York Times interviewed one forager who provides some of New York's best restaurants with plants they call, quote, species you might see growing along the highway median. Can you imagine you're in like a very high-end place and you're going, hmm, this dish has such a delicious smoky flavor. Is that...

diesel exhaust. And where did you get this fine raccoon meat that you're serving? You know it's authentic because of the tread marks. Alright, here is your last limerick. A home should be comfy and snugly. Not a place to flaunt flawless taste smugly. Don't live in a shrine of perfect design. Include a fun piece that is...

Ugly? Ugly, yes. Design experts say to really make your interior design pop, put one ugly object in every room. That's why whenever I walk into a friend's house, I always say, wow, look at that insanely ugly thing as a compliment. Does it work if everything in your house is ugly and you have one nice thing? Like one really nice thing. One really nice thing. Yeah. Yeah, no, it doesn't work that way. That's a shame. Yeah. Yeah.

How ugly? There must be a limit, right? Because if you're like, oh, kind of a painting with a jarring color scheme versus like, that's my grandfather's skull. Jesus! I kind of built that plane in the air and I don't regret it because it did land. Yeah, sort of. And always keep in mind, if you're in a very nice designed room, really, really professionally done, and you look around and there's no ugly thing, the ugly thing is you. LAUGHTER

Bill, how did Abby do in our quiz? Abby was perfect. She got them all right. Well done. Yeah, and I will look for your maps the next time I'm, you know, looking at a map. Thank you so much for playing, Abby. Thank you. Bye-bye.

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Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh and Roxanne each have three. Hari has two. All right. Hari, that means you are in second place. So that means you're going to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, it was confirmed that the GOP would retain control of the blank.

Senate. House. Yes, the House of Representatives. On Thursday, the owners of The Onion revealed they had purchased Alex Jones' blank website. Infowars. Right. After three planes were struck by gunfire, the FAA grounded all U.S. flights to blank. Haiti. Right. This week, a court in the U.K. ruled that a man's will was valid despite the fact that it was written on blank.

Toilet paper. Old fish stick packages. After the election, Twitter rival Blank gained one million new users. Truth? No, it's called Blue Sky. This week, a man in Scotland who robbed a bank with a pillowcase over his head was caught because he blanked. Past gas. No, because he forgot to cut eye holes in the pillowcase. The man entered the bank, put a pillowcase on his head to hide his identity from the tellers and the cameras, and then had to take it off because he couldn't see.

Though he escaped with $2,000, he was caught almost immediately after he got outside and got into a getaway car without any wheels. Bill, how did Harry do in our quiz? He got three right. He now has a total of eight. And the lead. All right. Very good. And arbitrarily going to pick Roxanne to go next. So here we go, Roxanne. Fill in the blank. On Veterans Day, the government of Maryland posthumously awarded abolitionist blank the rank of general.

Tubman. Yes, Harriet Tubman. This week, a federal judge blocked a Louisiana rule requiring public schools to display the blank in classrooms. Ten Commandments. Right. On Thursday, new research suggested that drugs like blank could be effective in combating alcohol addiction. Ozempic. Right. This week, a man who stopped to help a stranger fix a bicycle quickly realized blank.

That it was the Pope. No, that it was his bike, which had been stolen earlier that week. Following a report that they were filing for bankruptcy, shares for budget airline Blank plunged. Spirit. Right. On Tuesday, John Krasinski was named people's blankiest man alive. Sexiest. Right. This week, Mattel released dolls for the new movie Wicked, but failed to notice they had included a link to Blank printed on the boxes. A porn site. Exactly right. The...

Boxes of the dolls, the action figures from the movie, were supposed to direct fans to wickedmovie.com, a website which features, among other things, clips from that film. But it accidentally, because somebody didn't check it, pointed them to wicked.com, which, to be fair, also features clips from movies. Even worse were the boxes that told kids to go to wicked.edu, which is, of course, the landing page for Boston College.

Wouldn't that be wicked smart? That's Harvard. Bill, how did Roxanne do in our quiz? Six right, 12 more points. 15 puts her in the lead. All right. So how many then does Josh Gombelman need to win? Six to tie and seven to win. All right. Tall order, Josh. Peter? Yes. My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

There's vomit on my sweater already. Mom's spaghetti. Let's do this. Did you write that yourself? I came up with that, yeah. It just kind of popped into my head. All right, here we go. This is for the game, fill in the blank. According to a new report, pollution from the use of blanks has hit an all-time high. Pollution from the use of... Jeez, I'm out on one.

Generative AI models. No, fossil fuels. This week, Canada confirmed its first human case of blank flu. Avian? Yes. In an effort to compete with Timu and Shien, online giant Blank has introduced a new discount store. Amazon. Right. On Monday, the Highway Safety Administration opened a probe into over a million vehicles made by Blank. Tesla. No, Honda. I was just hoping. After finding 20 million euros in the walls of his house, Spain arrested the former head of Blank.

Oh, uh, he was in charge of corruption, finding, exactly. He was in charge of their anti-money laundering squad. This week, it was announced that Craig Melvin would replace Hoda Kotb on the blank show. Today show. Right. On Monday, genetic testing company blank announced it was laying off almost half its employees. 23andMe. Right. After four people in California filmed a bear ripping up the seats of their Rolls-Royce, authorities are now saying blank. Uh,

Keep your Rolls Royce out of your hot tub. No, they're saying it was actually just a person in a bear costume and they were committing insurance fraud. Good for them. In addition to their Rolls Royce, the four fraudsters filed claims in two other cars saying a bear also destroyed those. They have been arrested with cops saying the video was very clearly just a man in a suit and not a real bear. Since their arrest, the four admit that it was a mistake in choosing to go with a Paddington costume. LAUGHTER

Bill, did Josh do well enough to win? Josh got five right, but he couldn't catch Roxanne. Roxanne is this week's winner. Congratulations, Roxanne. Thank you. And I know that part of your victory was fooling that poor innocent person. Just makes it that much this week.

In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists, now that we have sexy Christmas movies, what will be the next surprising trend in holiday films? But first, let me tell you all that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircare Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godeka, Ritz, our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew here at the Fox Theatre in

Thank you.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mr. Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next strange and unexpected trend in Christmas movies? Hari Kondabolu. Fast and furious Christmas movies. Let's see how fast Santa's sled can go with some nitrous oxide. Roxanne Roberts. All I want for Christmas is a divorce. LAUGHTER

And Josh Gondelman. Christmas-themed Oscar bait movies. So get ready for Hallmark Channel original Christopher Nolan's Elfenheimer. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Roxanne Roberts, Hari Kondavolu, and Josh Gondelman. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in the beautiful, majestic Fox Theater in downtown Detroit, Michigan. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you may be.

I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR. Support for this podcast and the following message come from Anthropic. Introducing Claude, their AI assistant designed to help teams enhance their workflows. When working as a team, miscommunication can steal the momentum away from a good idea. That's why Anthropic designed their AI assistant to be a valuable co-worker who can help turn those one-off emails and side chats into a project to keep your team on

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