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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Yes, I'm Stentorian, but I'm so much Morian. Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. So great to see you.
So great to have you here. We have such a great show for you today and it is an important one to me personally. When I was a teenager many years ago, I really wanted to be funny. So I just would repeat bits from Monty Python to charm people and it never worked for some reason.
But today I get to talk to Eric Idle, one of the founders of Monty Python, somebody who might finally appreciate my version of the dead parrot sketch.
And I do both characters. But it's first your turn to join us by giving us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Shababu from Downers Grove, Illinois. Downers Grove, not far from here in Chicago. Some people here know it. What do you do there?
I am a product manager for a large financial company. I've always wondered about this because you're a product manager for a financial company, which technically doesn't make anything. And does that ever bother you? Like you're saying, would you like to try one of our financial products, which only exist in concept?
I mean, it's definitely very convoluted. I feel like I work on a lot of stuff that people don't see. Yeah. Which I guess in one way, it's a little less scary. I know. Do you ever wish you could just sell ties or something, something you could look at in your hand? No.
Something more tangible, yeah, definitely. Well, welcome to the show, Shivali. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's a staff writer in the Washington Post where he writes the absolutely essential style memo newsletter. It's Shane O'Neill. Hello, Shivali. Next, it's the comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation. You can see her in The Muslims Are Coming stand-up show in Reading, PA on October 18th. It's Nagin Farsad. Hey there.
And you can see him on season five of Star Trek Lower Decks, premiering October 24th, and on Mike Schur's A Man on the Inside on Netflix in November. It's Eugene Cordero. Hi. Hello, hello. Hello.
So, Shivali, welcome to the show. You're, of course, going to play Who's Bill this time. That's how we always start our show, with Bill Curtis giving you three quotations that we found in the week's news. Your job, correctly identify or explain just two of them. Do that, you will win our prize, any voice you might choose from our show for your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
Awesome. I'm stoked. We are. We're all stoked. Here is your first quote. This is what happens when I drink beer. That was one of many presidential pronouncements from somebody's media blitz this week. Who was it? It sounds a little awkward, so I wonder if it's Trump or Vance. What? What? What?
Or if it's Waltz, because I know Kamala Harris and Tim Waltz were going on a lot of shows this week. Well, you said it. It was Kamala Harris. She said the name. She said every possible answer. Technically, you said every person running for every high office, but I wanted to stop you before you got down to the Senate candidates. So Kamala Harris.
The mainstream media, as I'm sure you know, has been constantly complaining that Kamala Harris has not done enough interviews with them. So this week she did a barrage of appearances with everybody but them. Harris this week appeared in the podcast, call me daddy and all the smoke of the late show with Stephen Colbert, the view Howard Stern, and somehow she's the next bachelorette. Uh,
I love the fact that she's getting on, you know, these shows where it's about getting high and basketball players and all that stuff. Just the idea that she's doing it, I'm going like, okay, you're a real person. But also, just walk through a door and I'll go, okay, you're not a ghost. That's true. You're easy to impress. Yeah, it doesn't take much. She's been trying to appeal to more conservative voters in these appearances. So she's been talking about the gun she owns.
and bragging, quote, I have put a lot of people in jail, unquote, and quote, I am the author of Hillbilly Elegy. But she, I feel like she talked about her glock the same way I've talked about having a tennis racket. You know what I mean? Like, I have,
one. It's in a closet. I've used it once in a really non-serious way. And I'd like to pretend like I don't really have one. But if somebody came to your house, you would play tennis. I will play tennis with them. I will. Yeah. So it's the same. It's the same.
I just, I don't get it. I was trying to fit in with like the salt of the earth people at Cracker Barrel, but when I started telling everyone I had a Glock, it did not go over. All right, Shivali, your next quote is from a scientist named Saul Newman, who in a new study proves a very popular idea is completely wrong. People want there to be some exotic island where everything's okay. And if you eat goji berries, you're gold.
Dr. Newman says that he has now proved that in fact there are no special places on earth where due to diet or climate or anything else people do what? Live longer? Yes, live longer. Exactly right. For...
Decades we have been told about these oases around the world of long life and they're called blue zones by scientists. Places like Okinawa, Japan and Sardinia, Italy where demographic data shows that the population is living remarkably long and healthy lives.
And it turns out, was it the secret diet? No. Was it lifestyle? No. Was it shoddy record keeping and pension fraud? It sure was. So it turns out all of those places reported very high average lifespans because lots and lots of people in those places were pretending their parents were still alive so they could collect their pension checks.
Now, I found this very shocking, and I've heard about this my whole life. These places where people have figured out the secrets to their longevity, and that's led to all these diet and lifestyle books, like The Sardinian Secret, The Flemish Fountain of Youth, The Okinawan Method of Propping Up Grandpa in a Lifelike Manner. But also that Netflix show came out pretty recently. Yes.
I'm so embarrassed because I have been that jerk at a cocktail party being like, you guys haven't heard of Blue Zones? Oh my gosh, this is what we should all be doing. We should be walking on stairs every day. Like literally just spewing the stuff from that documentary at cocktail parties. That's all I've been doing the last year.
And there you go. Now you have to go back to every person you talk to at those cocktail parties and tell them the word is all nonsense. Cheetos. Eat Cheetos all day long. Might as well. I mean, it is a bummer that there's not a secret place and secret ways to make you a Highlander or whatever. But I would...
I'm actually more intrigued now to go to Okinawa and see this weekend at Bernie's type of people. I would be amazed by being like, wow, you kept them looking alive? How'd you do it? Maybe their embalming is really good. Yeah. No, Okinawans are really very friendly. It's a very welcoming place. Just don't ask them if you can meet their parents. All right. Here is your last quote.
Wearing them is no longer an easy way to see who's given up. That was the Wall Street Journal telling us, as they often do, about the latest fashion trend, wearing what all day, even to the office? Pajamas? Pajamas, yes! People are wearing pajamas to work.
Who hasn't wondered what their co-workers wear to bed? Trick question, sickos. You should never think that. But soon, according to the journal, it will be impossible not to know as more people are wearing their sleepwear out and about. Don't mind if I do, commented the sleep's naked contingent.
I'm sorry, this is not new. Like, there was a whole squadron of girls in high school that we all called, like, the Cookie Monster Fleece Pants Girls. It's an archetype, and if you are a bullied gay teen, all you have to do is get right with the Cookie Monster Fleece Pajama Girls, and they will defend you until they die. LAUGHTER
Really? Yes. It's like the universal, I guess, you know, if this trend does widen, look for the fleece, Cookie Monster bottoms. Those girls decide if you live or die. Wow. Life lessons, ladies and gentlemen, from Shane O'Neill. We should note, by the way, before everybody gets too excited, that all the people pushing this and all the people photographed in the journal, they're either models or they're actresses or they're fashion influencers. That is, they're very good-looking people. Oh, so they're not going to work.
Well, in a way, yeah. Bill, how did Shivali do in our quiz? She's putting on her pajamas right now because she won all three. Exactly. The winner. You went to work. Well done, Shivali. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Nagin, couples therapy isn't just for couples anymore. The latest trend is who going to get couples therapy together? Well, throuples.
By couple, I mean two people at once who are related, but, you know, not in that way. Oh, siblings. Yes. Couples therapy for siblings is now a thing. Why don't they just call it sibling therapy? I guess they could. Yeah. Well, if we called it that in this context, you would have known the answer. Yeah.
You know, couples therapy, as we know, is for couples trying to work out their differences. And as we all know, siblings often have differences too, so why not them? But if your session starts with your brother saying, our sex life is in a rut, you don't need couples therapy, you need real therapy now. Oh, God.
I mean, it seems healthy to me. It's like if you're having trouble with your sibling and you go to therapy, then the two of you, when things get too intense, you can just get back to making fun of your parents, which is the best, most bonding thing you can do. That's why you have siblings. Obviously. But I don't get it because also...
If my parents couldn't make it work between me and my sister, how is a stranger going to do it? Because I don't listen to my parents when they tell me that my sister was right. So I'm not going to listen to some suit do it either. Well, the difference is, is the therapist will be objective and unbiased when your parents loved your sister more. Ah, you're right. We are love, we are light. We are fear, we are fight. We are good, we are bad.
All that we have is each other, sisters and brothers. Coming up, you won't be Matty-o at our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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Offer valid for a limited time, minimum $10 per order. Service fees, other fees, and additional terms apply. Instacart, bringing the store to your door this Halloween. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Eugene Cordero, Shane O'Neill, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host,
At the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you all so much. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at waitwait.com.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. It's Glenn Strawn. Hey, Glenn Strawn. How are you? Where are you calling from? I'm calling from Annapolis, Maryland. Oh, great. Annapolis, capital of Maryland. What do you do there? I work for an international organization named Shipago, whose goal is to save the lives of women and babies at birth. Oh, wow. That is excellent work.
Do you know if any babies out there are named after you? Uh, no. None. Yeah. Thankfully. Well, Glenn, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Glenn's topic? Hey there, daddy-o. The word daddy-o popped up prominently in the news this week, and not just because of Kamala Harris' appearance on the podcast, Call Her Daddy-O. Our panelists are going to tell you the real reason
That word came up. Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes, I am. All right. First, let's hear from Eugene Cordero.
When the in-flight entertainment system broke down on a flight from Sydney to Tokyo, it made it impossible for individuals to control their screens. So, in a stunning show of cooperation, a group of passengers chose a movie for the entire plane to watch all together. The movie they chose was... Daddy-O.
For those of us who haven't seen Daddy-O, which is everyone on earth who wasn't on that plane, it's a 2023 film starring Sean Penn and Dakota Johnson that takes place entirely in a taxi cab and somehow manages to feature full frontal female and male nudity. Yeah.
How does this happen? Was the only other choice Despicable Me 4 and everyone who voted had already seen it? Did Inside Out 2 sound too sexual?
Who would have thought that raw dogging on a flight is a safer option? The passengers on a long flight because of a malfunction all ended up watching the same movie, Daddio, much to most people's dismay. Your next Daddio dispatch comes from Nagin Farsad.
Dave Pearson is a stay-at-home dad in Park Slope, Brooklyn, where New York City keeps helicopter parents who sign their kids up for trapeze and feminist zine-building workshops. Dave was always
He was always looking for healthy snacks for his two kids, Eleanor and Henry, because if you live in Park Slope, your kids were named off of a 1940s name registry. So he created his own cereal, which he called Daddios, the dad joke version of Cheerios. And like Cheerios, they tasted rather bland, but unlike Cheerios, they were made from nuts, seeds, and flavored with your imagination.
But one day, a video circulated among Brooklyn parents. Daddy-Os had been featured on the OnlyFans page Hot Deliveries. In the video, a hot Instacart lady delivers the cereal to a hot client. They sexily unbox the snack in what turns into a rather steamy, albeit highly nutritious, porn delivery scene. Dave ends up changing the name of his cereal to Nutty's, and the rest of us are just waiting for him to see the problem solved.
A Park Slope dad invents Daddio's, his version of Cheerios, and then things get unintentionally sexy. Your last story of Daddio drama comes from Shane O'Neill. Diadio's, an Italian restaurant in San Antonio, Texas, had been the pride and joy of the Diadio family since they immigrated from Italy in 1976.
But when owner Joseph Diadio fell on hard times after an ill-advised investment in crypto, he sold his family's restaurant to a venture capital firm that rebranded Diadio's as Daddio's, a vaguely nostalgic and very loud diner.
Once, the menu had sundae sauce that marinated for hours, sopped up with crusty bread baked from a closely guarded secret family recipe. Now, you could order the Elvis Presley Ain't Nothin' But a Hot Dog platter with your choice of Jackie Onion Rings or Joan Crawford's Hush Hush Puppies Sweet Charlotte. This was all news to Joseph's grandfather, Vittorio, who paid a surprise visit to the restaurant during a day trip from his nearby nursing home.
This doesn't even make sense, he said. Is this supposed to be the 1950s or the 1960s? Jackie Kennedy didn't marry Aristotle on the 6th until 1968. And does anyone remember the movie Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte besides gay film buffs? All right, daddy-o's popped up in the news this week. But what did that word refer to? Was it from Eugene Cordero, a movie called Daddy-O, which the passengers on a long flight inexplicably decided to watch, all of them,
Or from Nagin Farsad, Daddio's the breakfast cereal that took off when a Park Slope dad invented it. Or from Shane O'Neill, how Daddio's, the classic Italian place, become Daddio's, the retro diner, much to the dismay of the family patriarch. Which was the real story we found in the news this week? Well, Peter, I did read about this, and I'm going to go with Eugene. You're going to go with him? Story number one. Yes. Yes.
Okay, well then your choice is going to be Eugene's story. To find out the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter covering the real story. After passengers complained about Daddio, they switched it to a family-friendly movie. Yeah, that was Mary-Kate Carr of the AV Club talking about the in-flight Daddio debacle. Congratulations, Glenn. You have earned a point for Eugene simply by telling the truth. And you have won our game. You get the voice of your choice in your answering machine. Well done, sir.
Thank you very much. Take care, Glenn. Congratulations on the very good work you do. Bye-bye. And now the game where we ask people about things they know nothing about. It's called Not My Job. Eric Idle is one of the founders of Monty Python's Flying Circus, the most influential sketch comedy show ever made. And he's also the creator of Spamalot, the hit musical based on the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Thank you.
He has just published a book about the making of that musical and he joins us now. Eric Idle, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you very much. It is such... I'm just going to put it this way. It's a lifelong dream to talk to you. In fact, when we first spoke earlier this week, you called me and I picked up the phone and you said, hi, it's Eric Idle, and I became completely incapable of human speech. Yeah.
And I was wondering, does that happen to you a lot? Because there are a lot of people like me
Well, not really. I mean, you know, human speech. But thank you. It's very nice to be back in Chicago where Spamalot started. Yes, yes, it's true. Spamalot, you had what they call the out-of-town tryouts here. It's very exciting. We certainly did, yes. Did you enjoy your time in Chicago? I loved my time in Chicago. I'm married to a Chicago woman and I have lots of Chicago relatives. So I'm very, you know, I love Chicago. Yeah, that's really great. It's a good town.
And let me put it this way. When you walk the streets of Chicago, we're a very cool, sophisticated place, I know, but do people recognize you and go nuts because they, like me, were Monty Python fans growing up? Yes, sadly, they do, but it's very much as if you can say. LAUGHTER
People come up and start reciting a sketch at you that you can't say, well, how are you two? You know, I mean, they sort of remove the possibility of conversation. Right. So you just have to stand there and nod while they do the whole like nudge, nudge, wink, wink thing, for example.
Exactly. Exactly so. Is that hellish or do you just sort of accept that as the price of fame? It's fine. I mean, I'm glad that the nice thing about being a comedian is if people recognize you, they tend to laugh because they remember you in some silly costume, usually a drag or something, you know. So it's not unpleasant. It's not like rock and roll. They don't try and kill you or anything, you know.
In addition to knowing all these rock and roll bands in the 70s, we've also heard stories that you either as yourself as a group used to throw these pretty legendary parties. Is that true? I've always enjoyed it. We always had some good parties because I, you know, I like to play music and we always have singalongs and ding-dongs and we still do that. Right. We heard once that like you threw a party in the late 70s and the cast of Star Wars, which was filming at the time, came over. Yeah.
Well, Carrie Fisher rented my house in London for filming The Empire Strikes Back.
And they were very depressed in Harrison Ford. They'd been in England for a long time. They were depressed. Yeah, that'll do it. So I pulled out a special liquor we bought from Tunisia. And the party started. And by chance, the Stones were around the corner in Abbey Road. And they all came round. And this party went on all night. And they were finally picked up by their cars at 6 o'clock. And we all went off to bed. And I'm happy to say I ruined one of the scenes in Star Wars. LAUGHTER
You ruined, do you know which scene you ruined and how you ruined it?
Well, because they stayed up all night. They blame me. I mean, they're adults, you know. It was a scene where they meet Billy Dee Williams and they come off the plane and they, you know, Carrie says, hi. And they're all completely high. You know, they've been up all night. That is an amazing bit of Star Wars lore. And I don't know if everybody knows it. That is amazing.
Speaking of musicians, the Stones came by to your party. I also, again, for the first time, found out, was it true that Elvis Presley was a big fan of yours? Yes, and I found that out quite surprisingly in one of the books. He called everybody Squire after my Nudge Nudge sketch. No, he did not.
Yes, he did. And he was a huge fan. And I met Linda Thompson, who was his girlfriend. And she said at night in Memphis, when the television stopped about 2.30 in the morning, Elvis would make her do Monty Python sketches with him. And not just anyone. Hello!
And I said, I don't believe you. She convinced me finally that she knew the words. Could that be what Elvis was doing the night he died?
Cause you take it. It's a little harsh to blame us for that. No, but I mean, if you take a tour of Graceland and, and I have, they're very cagey about what he was doing the night he died. They won't tell you. And maybe it was that maybe he was, you know, just sort of, I think he was quite healthy sitting up in bed doing sketches. I think so. I want to, I want to talk to you about the musical, of course, which have went on to be a huge hit and one Tony's and then was revived and one Tony's again. Um,
You had always been a musician. In fact, you wrote, I don't know if this is your first big hit of a song, but always look in the bright side of life from the end of Life of Brian. We heard that that is, at least at one time, was the number one song played at funerals in the UK. Yeah.
I'm proud to say that it still is. It's been that for 20 years. Really? Yes. I'm happy to say it replaced my way. Oh, that is good. I think, yeah, that is definitely improvement. I mean, have you ever, I like it. Have you ever been to a funeral and all of a sudden the, the, the choir starts, you know, it's like, Oh,
always look on. They start doing it in harmony? No, they play the record, I'm happy to say. Unfortunately, they don't pay royalties. Right. Funerals don't pay royalties? They don't. I think it's wrong. Quite wrong. LAUGHTER
Well, Eric Idle, it is a huge honor for me, especially, to talk to you and a pleasure to have you here. And we have invited you here to play a game that we're calling... Spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam. Now.
As I'm sure you know, it was that famous Monty Python spam skit that is responsible for the fact that unwanted email advertisements is called spam. But we wanted to know, even if you knew that, we wanted to know if you knew anything about spam email. So we're going to ask you three questions about it. Answer two right and you will win $1.
Our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Eric Idle playing for? Andy Hill of Boston, Massachusetts. All right. You ready for this? Yes. All right. Here's your first question. The first genuine mass advertisement that people called spam went out to the users of Usenet, a precursor to the Internet, in 1994. What did it advertise? A, a then-unknown new TV series called Friends.
B, a new canned meat product called Spam Plus, or C, Jesus Christ? I would say Spam Plus. Spam Plus. You think that Hormel, manufacturer of Spam, which, by the way, has embraced Monty Python and Spam. Perhaps not. Could it be Friends? Well, that would be an interesting way of advertising a brand new television show on something called Usenet. Yes. Yes.
So that leaves us with Jesus Christ then. It does. So in many situations in life, all you're left with is Jesus Christ. Yes, the message was headed, global alert for all, Jesus is coming soon. And it was sent to the hundreds of thousands of people who were on Usenet at the time. So not only was it annoying, it was also incorrect.
So far, yes. Well, it said soon in 1994, I think we can say, that it was inaccurate. Okay. Here's your next question. Now, one of the odd things about spam is while that everybody hates it and they really hate the people who send it out, it doesn't make the advertisers themselves a lot of money. One study showed that you would make more money and suffer less social disapproval if you did which of these? A, dined and dashed once a month.
B, played saxophone in a subway car. Or C, stole a car.
I was there stole a car. Yes, that's right. Stealing a car. People don't like car thieves, it's true, but at least you could sell the car and make some money. All right, here's your last question. One of the most notorious spammers ever was a man named Alan Ralski, who was actually convicted of fraud for sending out all those spam emails. Before that, though, he had another punishment. What? A, he fell for a spammer himself and ended up sending all the money he had to a fake prince.
B, he typed so many fake emails that his fingers all broke. Or C, people found his physical address and signed him up for every piece of junk mail they could find, resulting in him getting thousands and thousands of magazines and pamphlets every day. I would say C. You're right again.
Bill, how did Eric Idle do in our quiz? Well, he woke up on the better side of life because he got all right. Congratulations, Eric. Thank you very much. Eric Idle is one of the founders of Money Python. He is also the Tony-winning creator of Spamalot and the author of the new Spamalot Diaries out now. Eric Idle, an absolute pleasure to talk to you. Thank you so much for joining us. I'm Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you so much. Take care. In just a minute, Bill offers you a delicious smoothie to either drink or rub under your arms. It's your choice. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Nagin Farsad, Eugene Cordero, and Shane O'Neill. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute...
Bill performs his hit Broadway show, Rhyme-A-Lot, in our listener limber challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Eugene, President Macron of France has decided to publicly protest somebody who has announced their intention to leave that country. Who is it? Oh, I don't know. Who's leaving France on purpose? Well, specifically, they'll be leaving Paris.
Oh, she has to be in Paris because it's right in the title. In Paris. Oh, you know this. Don't you play straight with me, Eugene.
Emily? Yes. Yes, Emily in Paris. Don't you play straight with me. Emily in Paris is, of course, the hit Netflix show about a clueless American woman in Paris that Americans watch because they hate it and French people watch because they hate Americans. And the producers announced that for the fifth season, Emily will move to Rome, and that cannot be.
The French national motto is liberté, égalité, émulé. And Macron, the president of the country, weighed in. He told Variety magazine, quote, Emily in Paris in Rome doesn't make any sense. And he's right. I mean, how is she supposed to find the time with her social schedule to also not learn Italian? LAUGHTER
Well, I mean, what are the incentives for Emily to stay? Is Macron offering bigger hats, more clashing patterns? These are the things Emily needs to sustain herself. Did she go through every meet-cute possibility with Frenchmen that she now has to go to Italian men? Is that what's happening? Apparently she had gotten down to the Frenchmen who wear pajamas outside. She had to move on, I guess. Eugene, nobody likes a person who brags about themselves all the time. Trust me.
But sometimes you need to let people know about all the great things you've done. So how do you do it? According to experts, the key is while you are bragging, you also need to do what? Is that like a humble brag? Sort of. It's related, but it's a different style of bragging that they say is more successful. Add a joke? Yes. Be funny. Very good, Eugene. Oh, thanks.
You ever thought about that? A team of researchers found that being funny and playful while boasting about your accomplishments helps you stay likable as you also convey confidence. They call this humor bragging.
Oh, I think it's also the thing Elon Musk thinks he's doing. Yes. In one of the studies they did, this was social science, ladies and gentlemen, they sent out a serious resume to a bunch of employers, and then they sent out the same resume with an added joke. And that joke was, quote, the more coffee you can provide, the more output I will produce. And it got 25% more responses. But, of course, they were all just people writing and saying, did you just apply for a job with a poop joke? Yeah.
So if you're looking for a job, everybody don't write successfully managed a team of five to increase sales by 20% or something, right? What's the deal with the increased sales from that team I manage? I increased profits in Q4. Orange are glad I didn't say banana. Hired, hired. I'm embarrassed, but like I used to have in special skills on my resume for the two and a half minutes that I was trying to be a real person with a job.
languages, French, Farsi, Pig Latin, or something stupid like that. And like no one, I mean, maybe that's why I'm now in this fate that I have. That's true. By the way, this is important, and this was part of the study. They tried this. Self-deprecating humor doesn't work. Oh. What are you supposed to do? Well, it comes across as either insincere, or if it's sincere, you're downplaying your own achievements. So don't be like, oh, I won the Nobel Prize for economics. I know, gross, blah, nerd. Ha ha ha.
♪
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks, including some Halloween night fun, right here at the beautiful Studebaker Theatre in Chicago. And we'll be back at the Fox Theatre in Detroit on November 14th. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org and check out this week's How to Do Everything podcast featuring, and I kid you not, Sir Patrick Stewart mooing like a cow.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Quinn Duffy from Glastonbury, Connecticut. Glastonbury, Connecticut. What do you do there? I'm a civil engineer. I work for the state of Connecticut. Oh, really? Oh, I always love talking to civil engineers because you're one of the few jobs, not having one myself, that I can understand. You build stuff like bridges and highways, right?
Yeah, I did bridges for the majority of my beginning of my career and now I do like railroad stations and rail adjacent facilities. Wow, you do railroad stations. You ever stand in front of one and wait for people to compliment it and then just go, yeah, that's mine. I did that. Yeah, they mostly just walk by and on their way. It's a shame. Well, I'm very impressed by what you do. Welcome to the show, Quinn. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner.
You ready to go? Yes, sir. All right. Here's your first limerick. As little kids walk down the blocks, they wear squishy kicks without socks. As they're pounding the streets, it's deforming their feet. They're unhealthy. These shoes we call... Crocs? Crocs, yes. We all love Crocs.
Because they're comfortable and great for our feet, which we are now told they're also destroying. Some podiatrists say that young children should not wear Crocs because they lack arch support, could cause gout,
gait issues, and if your kid's foot grows inside the croc, it'll look like one of them forever. Okay, as someone who has been croc-pilled, I love crocs. Are we sure these are deformities and not just the next step of human evolution? Maybe. You're a big fan of crocs. Love crocs. I resisted for years. I know how they look. I know they're terrible, but I'm one of those jerks where just, you know, it's not Balenciaga do it, and I said, what the hell? And oh my god, there's no going back. There's no going back.
You're using Kamala's campaign slogan for props. We will not go back. Here is your next limerick, Quentin. The smoothie stand down by the oceanfront gets requests that just might make the owner grunt. A tangy hint of the spritz that belongs on armpits make a smoothie that tastes like...
Oh, my God. It's a tough one. It is. I was reading along going, this isn't working. But there are some, tell you what, we'll have Bill do it again. Listen for that rhyme-like thing that's happening. And there is a hint. Armpits is a hint. Here we go. The smoothie stand down by the oceanfront gets requests that just might make the owner grunt. A tangy hint of the spritz that belongs on armpit.
Make a smoothie that tastes like... Oh, dear God, I have no idea. There's no way in the world you would ever guess this just logically, which is kind of why we're featuring it. I'll give it to you. It's deodorant.
Deodorant. Okay. Yeah, never would have got that. Yeah, no, we would have been here all day. It's all right. Deodorant. A fancy LA health food store just announced a new smoothie that tastes like deodorant. Strong enough for a man, smoothie enough for a woman. The store is known for its $20 smoothies. And for this one, they partnered with an upscale deodorant brand called Salt and Stone. So if you've ever sniffed your own armpit and said, wow.
I wish this was edible and had 1,500 calories. This is your moment. Here is your last limerick. New viruses are an uncouth mush. That they go in my mouth makes the youth blush. We have found brand new germs that are making us squirm. In the bathroom, right here on my... Brush? Yes, toothbrush. Yes. You did it.
I was going to say deodorant. Scientists at Northwestern University discovered hundreds of different viruses on used toothbrushes, even though they claim that none are harmful to people. Okay, then why would you even bring this up? Yes. This was part of a scientific exploration called, really, Operation Potty Mouth.
to find microbes that live around us in daily life. And it turns out there are uncounted numbers of microbe species in our toothbrushes and showers and toilets that have never been discovered before.
I mean, I feel like it makes me feel less lonely in the world. Just to know that there are thousands of new species. You know, we're never quite alone, you know? Bill, how did Quinn do on our quiz? Two out of three. Good for another bread. Yay, Quinn! Congratulations. Thank you so much. This has been a childhood dream of mine. I'm so glad. Thank you, Quinn, for playing. Bye-bye. Thank you.
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Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Eugene and Nagin each have three and Shane has two. All right. Eugene and Nagin are therefore tied for first and Shane is in second place. So Shane, you will be up first.
The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Asserting it harms children's mental health, 14 states have filed a suit against social media at blank. Tick-tock. Right? This week, Jessica Campbell became the first ever female coach in the blank.
NBA. No, NHL. Since entering the presidential race in July, Blank has raised over a billion dollars. Harris? Yes. Transportation campaigners who were trying to keep Cybertrucks out of the Czech Republic say the cars are, quote, too blank for European roads. Ugly. That's right. They say too big and too sharp. On Tuesday, Blank once again raised ticket prices for their theme parks.
Six Flags? No. Oh, Disney, it must be. It was Disney, yes. On Wednesday, Rafael Nadal announced his upcoming retirement from blank. Tennis! Yes. This week, a staff member at a museum in the Netherlands had to apologize for throwing away two crushed beer cans without realizing they were blank. Installation art. Yes, they were. Ah! According to the artist, the two empty beer cans that were placed inside a transparent elevator shaft symbolized, quote, precious moments with my friends, unquote.
An elevator technician was like, "Oh," and he picked them up and threw them out. Fortunately, they were recovered completely unharmed, and now that engineer has a really great excuse the next time he's sitting around having a beer. "I'm not drinking in the job. I'm making art."
Bill, how did Shane O'Neill do in our quiz? Hard to beat. Six right, 12 more points. 14 is the total and the lead. All right. Nagin, I'm going to arbitrarily choose you to go next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Monday, a new report showed that in 2020, Donald Trump promised a secret shipment of COVID-19 testing equipment to blank. A lot of Mary Putin.
Who else? Yes. On Tuesday, the union representing over 30,000 striking airplane mechanics said that talks with blank have broken down. Boeing? Right. This week, the National Weather Service warned that an intense blank could disrupt satellite operations. Solar.
Yes. On Monday, the largest water utility company in the U.S. said it was the target of a blank attack. A cyber attack? Right. This week, a woman in Washington State who spent decades feeding raccoons outside her home called 911 because blank. They attacked her? Yes. Her house was overrun with 100 hungry raccoons. Thursday, human rights advocate Ethel Kennedy, the widow of blank, passed away at 96. Kennedy died?
Which one? There have been a lot. Like one of the main ones? It was Robert Kennedy Sr. This week, a beach cleanup crew in Denmark who posed for photos with what they thought was a four-foot-long sea snake have since learned it was, in fact, blank. A toy? No, a giant attached whale penis. Oh!
I'm sorry, did you say attached or detached? I said detached. Oh, okay. I was going to say, if you didn't see the rest of that whale. The two men posted the photo before realizing what they were actually holding. It's an understandable mistake, but it doesn't explain why passengers on that flight from Sydney to Tokyo voted to look at the picture for two hours instead of watching Inside Out 2.
Bill, how did Nagin do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, total of 13. She trails Shane by one. And how many does Eugene need to win? Six to win. Here we go, Eugene. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the U.S. government hinted they may break up Search Giant blank.
Google. Right. This week, the CDC confirmed a fourth case of blank flu in California. Swine? No, bird flu. On Wednesday, sources said that North Koreans were fighting alongside Russians in blank. In Ukraine. Right. This week, police confirmed that a suspicious package left outside a news station in Baltimore was blank.
A bomb? Just an old toilet. On Wednesday, pop star Blank donated $5 million toward hurricane relief efforts. Oh, that's sweet. Taylor Swift? Right. On Friday, South Korean author Han Kang was awarded the Blank Prize for Literature.
Oh, the Nobel Peace? Yes. This week, a court in South Korea ruled that a man couldn't be charged with drunk driving because he blanked after getting pulled over. Made it art? No, chugged an entire bottle of alcohol. According to the cops who pulled him over, the 60-year-old man got out of the car and immediately pulled out a bottle of liquor and drank the whole thing. And this week, a court ruled that because he had drank so much immediately after he was pulled over and was out of the car, any breathalyzer test would be invalid.
Pretty smart. Yes. I mean, how could you know what his blood alcohol level was when he had just swapped out all of his blood for alcohol? Wow. Writing that down for the future. You bet. Bill, did Eugene do well enough to win? Shane, no, he did not. Shane is... Just no. Just no. Don't even bother giving the score. Just move on. Shane is the winner this week. Congratulations, Shane. Yay!
Now, coming up, our panelists will predict, now that the Blue Zones have been debunked, what will be the next thing to be revealed as a hoax. But first, let me tell you. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircare Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre.
BJ Lederman, composer. Our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. This week, Peter Gwynn escaped.
Look out! That your only fan account that you follow, that that person actually does like you.
Nagin Farsad. The commonly held belief that if you step on a crack, you'll break your mother's back is in fact untrue. You can step on multiple cracks. And Shane O'Neill. Tim Walls is actually a bachelor from Mississippi.
Well, if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks to Eugene Cordero, McGee Farsad, Shane O'Neill. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theatre in downtown Chicago. And thanks to all of you out there for listening wherever you are. I am Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.
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