WWDTM: Dionne Warwick
47:10 Share

This message comes from Capital One. Your business faces unique challenges and opportunities. That's why Capital One offers a comprehensive suite of financial services backed by the strength of a top 10 commercial bank. Visit CapitalOne.com slash commercial. Member FDIC.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the secret love child of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. Bill Curtis Kelsey. I love it. And here is your host at the Kansas City Music Hall, Kansas City, Missouri, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Peter.

We are delighted to be finally back in Kansas City where later on we are going to be talking to the legendary singer Dionne Warwick right here on this stage.

I know, it's amazing. But first, I have to say, this is a homecoming for Bill Curtis. He grew up just over the border in Kansas. So, Bill, what is it like to be almost back home? I remember growing up on the prairie, dreaming of someday coming back with my dream job, reciting most of a limerick. LAUGHTER

You're already home when you play our games because you can just call in. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Jen from Havertown, Pennsylvania. Havertown, Pennsylvania. What do you do there?

I am a web editor for a very large financial institution. Very large, eh? Do they pay you in very large bills? It works for me. Okay, whatever. Well, welcome to the show, Jen. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a writer and stand-up comedian whose sub-stack newsletter, full of pep talks, is called That's Marvelous and arrives every Monday. It's Josh Gondelman. Hello. Oh, my gosh.

- Thank you. - Hi Josh. - Next, she's a writer on Netflix's Big Mouth. Season seven is out now with Shantira Jackson. - Hi Shantira. - Hello. - And a comedian you can see in Alexandria, Virginia at the Birchmere on November 22nd and 23rd. It's Paula Poundstone.

Oh, that's very sweet of you. Thank you. Well, Jen, welcome to the show. You, of course, are going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. All you need do is identify or explain just two of them. Do that, you will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose from our show on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? I'm ready to go. Let's do it then. Your first quote is from someone moments after learning he had been indicted on federal charges. I am not surprised.

That was Eric Adams, the not-surprised mayor of what city? New York. New York City! Mr. Adams was elected mayor in 2021 on the strength of his career as a police captain, promising to make crime in New York a personal priority, and he did it! LAUGHTER

Adams was indicted on five charges of fraud, bribery, and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations from the government of Turkey. At his arraignment on Friday, he entered the plea, only in New York, kids, only in New York.

As a New Yorker, my predominant reaction was, "This is funny." As someone who grew up in and around Boston, my predominant reaction was, "This is wicked funny." He's the first New York mayor ever to be indicted in office. It's really exciting.

Rudy Giuliani's so disappointed he couldn't get there quicker. He got more than $100,000 worth of bribes in the form of free flights and upgrades on Turkish Airlines. His lawyer said he only agreed to accept the bribes after he realized he was never going to get the 12 qualifying segments by the end of the year he needed for a better status. Okay, the thing about getting an upgrade...

on an airline is, unless you're very familiar with which aircraft you're using, which I never am, like sometimes I'll look at my ticket and I'll go, oh, look, it's first class. And then it turns out I'm on a puddle jumper. Yeah. Right? And first class is just a, you know, a slightly bigger chair. Right. But it's not, you know, and then I just feel like, well, then I shouldn't have taken that bribe. LAUGHTER

That's an additional count in the indictments. Didn't even get the lie-flat seat. All right, Jen, your next quote is from a New York Times story about a new dining trend. Americans are not likely to break up with endless pasta bowls and half-bound burgers overnight. So what will finally be getting smaller at American restaurants?

Portion size. Portion size, that's right! After decades of increasing portion sizes, Americans have been forced to admit that in the end there's only so wide a mouth can open. More and more restaurants are finally trending toward smaller portions, robbing people of that wonderful, familiar after-dinner, can-we-take-an-ambulance-home feeling. LAUGHTER

You know where they should do the smaller portion size? Where? It's in the all-you-can-eat buffets. Right. From now on, they'll be all-you-should-eat. LAUGHTER

No, they should just give them, like, each time somebody comes back up to the buffet, just give them a teeny little bit. And then they have to keep returning. And eventually... So, like, just one tater tot? Exactly. Right. Yeah. And that would either, you know, they'd either feel too embarrassed to go up again, or they would, you know, or they would just become exhausted, or honestly work it off. That's true. Yeah.

Did you say that the restaurants were doing it for public health reasons? In part. Oh, bull. Yeah.

Absolutely not. Is the price going down? Well, that is in fact the hope. That's my question because I feel like this is shrink-flation. It's like, no, no, this is for your health, but it's still $29.99. What do you want? It's not $30. No, $29.99. Actually, I want a two for 20 from Chili's, and I bet you now it's one for 20. I know what they're doing. Okay.

Yeah, it's a smaller portion session, Terry. It's good for you. This is actually kind of terrible because enormous portions are like the signature of American cuisine, right? Who even are we, right, if we don't do this? We're the only country that gives you a prize if you can eat the whole thing. I like the idea that because it'll be smaller, right, we won't even need a whole cheesecake factory. We'll have kind of a bespoke cheesecake workshop. Exactly.

All right, Jen, here is your last quote. Earth will be hosting a new guest. That was NPR talking about something that will be orbiting Earth for two months. Scientists are calling it a second what? Moon. Yes, a second moon on Sunday. Thank you.

An asteroid will enter Earth's orbit and will stay for a little while. We will have a, quote, mini-moon for two months. Although, to be clear, the technical scientific term is Earth's new side piece. LAUGHTER

I mean, it's a small moon, but it's going to lead to a lot of changes. For example, styrofoam ball sails will spike as elementary school kids everywhere have to update their solar system models. Look, are you in or are you out? We went through this with Pluto. I can't deal with another heartbreak like this. I can't do this again. Right.

I want to know why the moon chose these two months to come. It's very stressful right now. They should come maybe next February. It's possible that it's actually a probe sent by aliens who are planning a visit, but just want to check on the election results. I mean, so yes, it isn't really going to be a moon, but you know who's really excited? Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Once again, he's going to have an opportunity to engage in his favorite pastime, correcting people who are happy. Bill, how did Jen do on our quiz? Jen got them all right. Perfect score. Congratulations. There you go, Jen. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you very much. It was an honor. Bye-bye. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Josh, many people suffer from migraines, that's true, but according to Wired Magazine, there is a new remarkably effective treatment that people can do at home. You just use a what? You use your laptop and you close it. That could work. Can you give me a hint? If somebody finds it in your bed stand, you can just say it's for your migraines.

Something that you already have in your home? Something that some people already have in their home. Smooth. Edibles?

You said laptop. You were wrong, but it is an electric device. A personal massager? Yes, a vibrator. Well, thank you, though, for being discreet. Yes, a vibrator. This is NPR, as you say at the end of the show. Research shows nasal vibration can considerably reduce pain from migraines.

Which is not only great for migraine sufferers, it's great for everyone else who wants to look the cashier in the eye when you buy one. It's for my nose headaches. That's, okay, so you said you might already have one in your home. I'm going to say if you're using it in your nose, what you're going to want is a second vibrator. Okay.

You know it's going to become a popular cure when you hear people saying, please, tonight I have a headache. 17, this is amazing, in the study, 17 out of 18 people felt relief after using the vibrator, although some of them might have been faking it to get you to stop trying so hard.

And if you don't want to spring for like a new, you know, nose vibrator, just jam your electric toothbrush up there. Well, I was thinking there. So it goes inside the nose or just goes over the nose? It goes inside the nose. This little special vibrator goes up your nose and it vibrates the sinuses and through it the migraine. Yeah. That just goes to show how bad migraines are. That someone would even come up with that idea. Do you know what I mean? I do. I do.

It's like someone's trying to hit the reset button on their brain. It's going to change the new edition of Corporation. Coming up, what winners have that losers don't. In our beloved listener game, call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO. ♪

This message comes from NPR sponsor, Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, where trailblazing runs in the family. From crafting a movement with their iconic pale ale to taking the IPA haze craze nationwide with Hazy Little Thing, it's an adventurous spirit you can taste in every sip. Find your next favorite beer wherever fine beverages are sold. With new brews for every season, there's always something to discover. Sierra Nevada Brewing Company, still family owned, operated, and argued over.

Support for this podcast and the following message come from Anthropic. Introducing Claude, their AI assistant designed to help teams enhance their workflows. When working as a team, miscommunication can steal the momentum away from a good idea. That's why Anthropic designed their AI assistant to be a valuable co-worker who can help turn those one-off emails and side chats into a project to keep your team on track.

Claude can even create code snippets, diagrams, and graphics in different languages. And because Anthropic is committed to user privacy, Claude protects your team's projects so your trade secrets stay secret. Discover how Claude can transform your work at anthropic.com slash claude.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gundelman, Paula Poundstone, and Shantira Jackson. And here again is your host at the Kansas City Music Hall in Kansas City, Missouri, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Bill. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play the game on the air. You can check out the pinned post at our Instagram page at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Joanna from Columbia, South Carolina. Hey, how are things in Columbia? They are great. All right, then. What do you do there? I am an educator by day and at night I'm a drag king under the name Marty McGuy.

Whoa! Marty. Marty McGuy is such a good drag name for a drag performer in South Carolina because I feel like afterwards you say a lot of, this might be too much for you, but your kids are going to love it. There's only a lot of young performers that have never seen the movie and like, oh, that old movie?

So, you know, occasionally someone gets it. Just so you know, if you went back in time as far as Marty McFly went back in time in the movie, you could see the premiere of the movie. But that's not here nor there.

Joanna, we have invited you here to play the game in which you must tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? The secret of my success. Winners all have secrets to their success. I will let you in on mine. Did you know there are companies that let you make your own Ivy League diplomas? This week we heard about a surprising secret to success in the sports world. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick two.

the real story and you'll win the weight waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes. All right. First, let's hear from Shantira Jackson. Neil Dowden has been scooping ice cream in his family's local ice cream shop in Savannah, Georgia since he was tall enough to see over the counter. And at 5'2 and 110 pounds, he's still not much taller. Six months ago on a dare, Neil entered a local arm wrestling competition and took out his opponents in six seconds due, observers say, to his incredible

his incredibly muscular right arm, which after a decade of scooping, weighs as much as the rest of his body combined. Then advanced to regionals and won there too. Last week, he made it all the way to the Buffalo Wild Wings World Arm Wrestling League Championship, where he was crowned national champion, winning the coveted Golden Wild Wing Championship trophy.

He then dropped it on the floor, smashing it, after making the mistake of trying to pick it up with his left arm. An ice cream scooper finds that was excellent training to win the national championship in arm wrestling. Your next story of an athletic edge comes from Josh Gondelman. When the Boston Celtics clinched the 2024 NBA Finals, all of America rejoiced as one. Laughter

Even outside the Bay State, basketball fans were curious about how this team executed such a dominant run to the title. And now we have an answer. In a recent conversation with Boston-based Interview Magazine, are you serious right now, kid? The famously intense Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla responded to the buzz around his team with, well, a different kind of buzz. Bees are our greatest teacher.

"'They represent chaos and harmony all at once,' whispered Missoula, while making unflinching eye contact with his interviewer. "'He's not kidding,' added Celtics star Jason Tatum. "'At first I thought one bee had gotten into the gym, but then there were more and more all over the court. Plus, Coach Missoula was wearing one of those beekeeper outfits with the mask and everything, which is rarely how he dresses for practice.'"

Bees!

Live buzzing bees, the secret to the Boston Celtics' success. Your last story of jocks getting a jump comes from Paula Poundstone. The Buffalo Bills have started their season with three straight wins, and Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen credits the team's passion for playing Catan as part of the reason why. It's a board game. They play it a lot. Why? To quote one player, there's less to do in Buffalo. Laughter

Supremacy in Catan, a civilization building game, requires strategy, teamwork, and adaptation. It is played with three to four players and is low impact. Very low impact.

In fact, unless the players engage in pushing and shoving over seating arrangements, there's no impact at all. This is not the first instance of large men who are known for engaging in brutal activities, also spending time in more peaceful, sedentary pursuits. Former football player Rosie Greer enjoyed embroidery, and there's no evidence that crochet wasn't a popular Viking hobby. Not the NFL team, the actual Vikings. All right.

One of these was the secret to some athlete or team's success somewhere. Was it from Shemtira Jackson, the country's newest arm wrestling champion, got his asymmetric strength from scooping ice cream for a long time? From Josh Gondelman, the secret to the Celtics' run to the NBA championship?

Was Bees, live Bees, introduced at their practice? Or from Paula Poundstone, the reason the Buffalo Bills are off to a 3-0 start is because the team bonds by playing the board game Catan. Which of these is the real story of athletic success we found in the news? Well, I'm going to have to go with Paula's story because...

My drag family, when we're not performing, we also play a lot of board games, and it does bring us together. So I'm going to go with Paula's story. All right. Well, we actually have to bring you the real answer. One...

of these athletes who's benefited so much. - We love Catan. The land of Catan has slowly expanded. We at Ranch have two different boards. It gets the competitors to climb. - That was Buffalo Bills tight end Dawson Knox talking about his team's intense Catan rivalry in the locker room. Congratulations Joanna, you got it right. - Thank you. - You earned a point for Paula. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Congratulations.

Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Bye. And now the game we call Not My Job. Dionne Warwick is a legend of American music, a winner of six Grammys, a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. You can find her name...

On both the Apollo Theater and the Hollywood Walks of Fame, she is performing this weekend here in Kansas City. We are thrilled she could spend some time with us. Dionne Warwick, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. So your first of many hits, Don't Make Me Over, was released in 1962. It was. It's 62 years later and you are still performing. Thank you.

Are you still enjoying it? Are you having fun? Oh, yeah. You know, it's something I've always tell people. I never wanted to work. To work? Ever. No. And when this ever becomes a job, that's when I take my ballet slippers and do my pirouette and say, bye. You'd be done. Yeah. Do you have any idea what you'd do instead?

Oh yeah. Sure, well like what? Well I have already, I have an interior design company. There you go. Oh wow. Yeah, so if you need something done. I was wondering what those paint stains were, but now I know. That's great.

I wonder, you have had such an extraordinary career. We can't even go into it. Is there a moment that stands out for you in your career where you simply like, I cannot believe that a nice young woman from Orange, New Jersey is doing this? Was it, for example, performing for the Queen of England? Was it getting a Lifetime Achievement Grammy? Is there anything that stands out? Yeah. Okay. I actually stopped.

Sidney Poitier. I did, I really did. I don't think anybody can blame you for that. I think I speak for America when I say, do tell. I was coming out of a recording session and we were walking down Broadway.

And all of a sudden I realized I was walking behind Sidney Poitier. And I said, oh my God. And you know, you've seen it in film.

I did it. You know, you walk behind somebody and you don't want them to know that you're walking behind them and then they stop and you stop and you... So he like, oh really, so he like spins around because it's like someone's following me and you did the thing where you looked away, oh no, I just happened to be standing here two feet behind you. No, no, he stopped at a red light. That's when he turned around and said, young lady, I said, are you talking to me? LAUGHTER

You've been following me. Is there a reason? And of course, I said, I had a complete loss of words. Finally, I got up the nerve to ask him, will you sign this piece of paper for me? He said, of course I will. And he did. And I still have that piece of paper. Nice. All right. Forgive me.

But did it not occur to you at that moment to say, I'm Dionne Warwick. Perhaps you know me from my many gold records. I don't think he would have cared. It is amazing that that is the story you chose to tell from your remarkable career, and I kind of love it. Before we get to our little game with you, I did want to ask you about something else. In addition to everything else you've done, you have now been called the queen of Twitter.

Yeah. You, you, you adopted Twitter, um, and you are very good at it. Thank you. And I'm sure you, I have no doubt having met you now that you do it yourself. Uh,

Here are some of your best tweets. We have them here. Here's one from 2021. I just heard about Leonardo DiCaprio's 25-year rule. His loss, you don't know what you're missing. Thank you.

And it's true. It is true. Which brings up another topic. I found out you were married once. That ended in the mid-70s. You never married again. What is it like to be out of everybody's league? I am having the best time. LAUGHTER

I do, however, I just got to add one more tweet before we move on. This is from 2022 from Ms. Dionne Warwick, the legend. I will be dating Pete Davidson next. Oh, why not? He's dating everybody else. I know.

Dionne Warwick, it is such an honor to talk to you. And we have asked you here to play a game we're calling... Oh, so that's what friends are for. That's what friends are for. Obviously one of your greatest signature hits, but as great a song as it is...

It doesn't cover all the things friends are for. So we're going to ask you three questions about other things that friends do. If you get two right, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Dionne Warwick playing? Teresa Durkin of Kansas City, Missouri. All right.

Are you ready for this? I'm ready. First question: Friends are great for helping you move, and you probably should call your friends rather than a certain real moving company. A. Shattered glass movers in Seattle, Washington. B. Hernia movers in Milwaukee. Or C. Two guys and no truck movers in Atlanta, Georgia. One of those is real.

Well, I don't like the sound of shattered glass at all. I have too many valuable pieces. Of course. Okay, so they're out. Hernia? Yeah, with some of the stuff that I have to move.

They will get a hernia. You're right. Hernia movers. They're real. There you go. Wow. Hernia movers has been helping. That's what I'm talking about. She does. Hernia movers has been helping people move around Milwaukee since 1975. Here's your next question. Another thing that friends are good for is, of course, rides to the airport.

But it was likely a very bad friend who forgot what that was left at the Dublin airport. Was it, A, a tombstone with the inscription, you will always be remembered, never forgotten, B, their friend's car, which they left in long-term parking for so long that it cost $100,000 to get it out, or C, their friend, who has been living at the airport now for 14 years. LAUGHTER

Okay. I think living there. So you think that somebody went to the airport to get their friend, forgot to pick him up, and he's just been there for 14 years. The audience... All right, if you don't think I'm right, that's all right. LAUGHTER

But having spent a little time with you, I absolutely respect your confidence here. It's what I should have expected, but it is actually A, the tombstone. All right, here's your last question. The final thing friends are for is being a wingman. That is helping you meet dates when you're out together. Well, one such wingman posted his story on Reddit. He said his friend got divorced, was really broken up about it. So he took the divorced friend out to a bar to meet some ladies.

And then what happened? A, the bartender recognized his friend and called the police to have him arrested for robbing the place two weeks earlier. B, the wingman introduced the friend to an attractive woman there who turned out to be the friend's ex. Or C, the friend kept trying the line on the ladies, he's my wingman, but when you and I get married, he'll be our ringman.

Oh, I know, yes. Making that face. You can immediately throw out three, I think. I think it was his X. You think it's that one? Yeah. You're right. That's what happened. There we go.

He says he was chatting up this woman in the bar. He said, hey, have you met my friend John over here? Yes, she has. Wow. Bill, how did Dionne Warwick do on our quiz? Oh, you know, she got two right. I forget the third. Yeah. But that's a winner in our game. There you are. Add that to the list.

Dionne Warwick is a six-time Grammy winner. She's touring around the globe this year. You can find dates at officialdionnewarwick.com. Dionne Warwick, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence. Give it up for a living legend, everybody. ♪

In just a minute, Bill has a warning about an adorable but deadly menace in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This message comes from Travel Nevada. Need a little space? They know a place, the big heart of Nevada, where you can go off-road and off the map, on two legs or on horseback, dip into hot springs and dive into deserts, climb a mountain, or make your best effort.

See thousands of stars in some of the darkest skies. Stake out haunted hotels. Can you make it to sunrise? There's always something new to see because Nevada has plenty of space to just be. Plan your trip at TravelNevada.com.

Support for NPR and the following message come from SimpliSafe Home Security. Feeling secure in your own home shouldn't be a luxury, it should be a given. That's why SimpliSafe is dedicated to providing protection and peace of mind to all families. With LiveGuard technology, SimpliSafe's 24-7 monitoring agents can act within 5 seconds of receiving your alarm. Visit simplisafe.com slash wait to save 50% on a new system with a free indoor security camera. There's no safe,

Like SimpliSafe. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Josh Gundelman, and Shantira Jackson. Here again is your host at the Kansas City Music Hall in Kansas City, Missouri. Applause

Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. In just a minute, Bill remembers the 21st night of September in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, a panel of some more questions for you from the Weeks News.

Paula, there was a trend during the pandemic where friends bought homes together to save money. Now, years later, according to the Wall Street Journal, those people are facing what problem? Selling their homes. Well, not exactly. Eviction, breaking up. Breaking up with whom? Well, they're breaking up with, they're not sharing the home anymore. Why? They don't belong anymore. Exactly right. Okay.

It seems like a great idea, right? You can't afford that lake house getaway on your own, but if you buy it with your friends, you can all afford it. Plus, you get to hang out together more and there's no way Steve's banjo practice will get annoying and you will absolutely get used to the smell.

Monica's hamster. Well now many of those people are trying to buy their friends out or get their friends to buy them out before the house gets impossible to sell because of the murders that will happen there.

I think I would be one of those people who was hoping to be bought out because if we did this together, you knew I didn't have any money. Right. I can't buy you out. I can barely buy in. Shantira, this week, the World Emoji Awards, which is real, announce next year's most anticipated emoji. What is it? Little tacos. Little tacos.

They got that already. Big talk. Oh, also, it's yet another face. We have faces for happiness. We have faces to express sadness. The image will be one of those faces, obviously, we're familiar with, and it will have like dark circles under its eyes. Oh, depression. If it's to my face or just everybody? Everybody's face. Oh, no.

- Dark circles, sleep deprived. - Yes, exhausted. - That is-- - The exhausted emoji is coming. - Yeah, we need that. - Right, it looks like all the other faces, but it's frowning and it's got bags under its eyes. Basically-- - That's also depression. - It is.

You can use it for that. There are no rules. Basically, it looks like your face after a long Zoom meeting and, as we all now know, during the entire Zoom meeting. I can't believe it took us this long to get to exhausted. Exhausted is one of my top five emotions. Right. And we have, like, it'll be, like, frowning and blushing for, like, when someone, when you send someone a nude picture and they don't respond fast enough. Or...

Or like smiling with one tear for like when you're watching someone get married on TV and you don't want the people you're with to see that you're weeping while you watch the movie. You might be interested in what other emojis are being introduced next year. So get ready. You're going to get the leafless tree indicating, you know, fall, winter. Depression. That's also depression. A...

A fingerprint indicating a clue or, to Shantira, depression. Depression, yes. And a purple splatter indicating you just killed Grimace. Well, then that's when they're looking for the fingerprint. Exactly. They're like, dusting for clues. Yeah, it's like purple splatter, fingerprint, you know, smiley face. I got away with murdering Grimace. Bags under the eyes. I haven't slept for days. I feel so guilty that I murdered Grimace.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call to leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, or come see us in Detroit at the Fox Theatre on November 14th. You can also check out the How to Do Everything podcast, where this week Mike and Ian teach you a hiccup cure that once...

saved my life. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hey, my name is Ryan and I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. Hey, how are things in Atlanta these days? Trying to stay above water at the moment. Yeah, I know. It's getting a little rainy there. Well, I hope you avoid the worst of it. What do you do there?

I'm a CPA. I work as an accounting manager for an insurance company. Okay, I'm going to ask you this. I grew up with the cliche, the stereotype that accountants are boring. Can you disabuse me of that notion right now? Uh...

I'm not, but the rest are. That's good. Throw those other CPAs under the BUS. Exactly. Ryan, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks, of course, with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on just two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to go? Let's do it. Here's your first limerick. Celebrations hit men in the worst way.

We cannot let loose and let mirth play. We love-hate the tension, and gifts cause real tension. We men can get weird on our... Birthday. Birthday, yes. An investigation by GQ magazine into how men feel about celebrating their birthdays finds that they feel super weird about it, to which their girlfriends reply, I've already said I'd plan it for you, you just have to give me the emails. Ha ha ha!

According to this article, many men feel there's a cultural stigma about asking others to celebrate their birthdays. One man said, quote, I feel like there's something in the male straight culture where after your early 20s, making a big deal of your birthday is a bit cringe, unquote. Or if the entire Chili's waitstaff just put a sparkler in your brownie sundae and are coming over to sing, a lot cringe. LAUGHTER

I'm right there with that. I don't like celebrating. You don't like celebrating your birthday? I don't. And I don't like to open presents. I have three packages on my desk right now. Two were gifts last Christmas, and another one was a gift from, I don't know, three, four years ago.

I think I'm obligated to ask you, why not? I just can't open them. I just... I can. Give them to me. I have to say... Everybody listening, if you present directly

Give me love, presents, give me stuff. Give me stuff I don't want, I want it. Thank you for that. Thank you. I got you. All right, Ryan, here is your next limerick. My thoughts sometimes feel like a threat blitz. But with video games, I'll reset this. To avert mental shocks, I will turn and stack blocks. My doctor says I should play...

Tetris. Tetris, yes. Researchers in Sweden may have found a mental health miracle. Patients who focused on a traumatic memory and then played Tetris for just 20 minutes had their number of intrusive thoughts drop by 86%. Wow. It's true. If 20 minutes of Tetris helps your well-being that much, just imagine what 14 hours of playing Candy Crush on the toilet can do for you. Wait.

This is true. When I was a little kid, we had just gotten a Nintendo, and my dad would stay up really late playing Tetris, and I could hear the music through my bedroom door, and I would fall asleep to the Tetris music, and I would have these dreams every night that I was falling and spinning and spinning and falling. So your trauma is Tetris. So maybe you should play some Tetris. All right, Ryan, here is your last limerick. By the river, I was a slow trotter.

Wow. Otter. Yes, otter. Over the past month, there have been...

Increasing reports of otters attacking humans, seemingly without provocation. They've been talking to the whales. Exactly. The orcas are like, guys, you can get them. They're soft inside. It's scary to get ambushed by a wild animal, but did you know that otters will hold hands while they're mauling you? It's so cute. It's so cute.

Otters may look friendly, right? But they actually have very sharp teeth and claws. And fun fact, their fur is so thick and dense, it's the perfect hiding spot for a knife. I feel like any cute animal must have some method of attack, right? Whether it's claws or poison. Because they look, like, to us, they look cute. To a bigger animal, they look, I bet they look delicious. Right. So you've got to be able to, they've got to, like, be able to scrap when the time comes to it. If you were really messed up by an otter,

Right? Yeah. What would you tell people? Nothing. That's so embarrassing. Embarrassing. So embarrassing. An orca? Like, yeah. That's cool. That's cool. They're doing a remake of West Side Story, and one of the gangs is named the Otters. They just slap the tails? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Bill, how did Ryan do in our quiz? I don't know how he did it, but he was perfect. Wow. Congratulations, Ryan. Wow. Yes.

Thank you, guys. Thank you.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Capella University. With their game-changing FlexPath learning format, Capella empowers you to fit education into your life without putting other priorities on hold. FlexPath lets you set your own deadlines and adjust them if something comes up. And depending on your schedule, you can take courses at your own speed and move on to the next one when you're ready. Imagine how a flexible program can make a difference in your life at capella.edu.

This message comes from EasyCater, helping organizations manage all their food needs with online ordering from restaurants people love, employee lunch programs, and tools to simplify food spend all on one platform. Learn more at EasyCater.com.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Viking, committed to exploring the world in comfort. Journey through the heart of Europe on an elegant Viking longship with thoughtful service, destination-focused dining, and cultural enrichment on board and on shore. And every Viking voyage is all-inclusive with no children and no casinos. Discover more at viking.com.

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Josh and Shantira each have two. Paula was hot tonight. She's got three. All right.

So, Josh and Shantira, you're tied. Shantira, I'm going to arbitrarily choose you to go first. So, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Hurricane Helene made landfall in blank. Florida? Right. Months after being disbarred in New York, former Trump attorney blank was disbarred in D.C. Julianne. Yes. This week, President Zelensky visited the White House to ask for continued aid for the war in blank. Ukraine? Right. On Monday, the FDA approved an at-home blank vaccine. The loop? Yes. Yes.

Chicken nuggets. Same thing.

On Monday, three astronauts successfully returned from the blank. Space station? Yes. Of the astronauts that did return to Earth, blank of them were the ones stranded there by Boeing. Two? No, none of them. Yeah. They're still up there. A 14-year-old boy in the UK was spared prosecution this week because blank.

He tweeted, please don't. No. He was spared criminal prosecution because his parents were already really mad at him. The boy was one of over 1,200 people arrested in a series of riots in England this summer, but prosecutors decided, quote, the wrath visited on that child by his parents was enough, unquote.

You know, it's one thing to get arrested. It's rougher when your mom says to the police, wait, you're not going to tase him? Give me that. Bill, how did Shantira do in our quiz? Five right, ten more points, total of 12, puts Shantira in the lead. All right.

Josh, my friend. All right. Josh, you're up next. Please fill in the blank. On Thursday, Israel rejected a U.S.-backed ceasefire deal with blank. Lebanon. Right. On Tuesday, the Senate passed a bill guaranteeing Donald Trump and Kamala Harris the same level of blank protection as a sitting president.

Secret Service? Right. This week, Thailand officially ratified a law legalizing same-sex blank. Marriage? Right. On Wednesday, a bankruptcy judge approved the auction of InfoWars, the website owned by blank. Alex Jones? Right. This week, United Airlines offered a woman a $50 travel voucher after she complained that her feet were freezing during her flight because of blank.

The window was open. Almost a hole in the floor of the plane on Tuesday. The CDC warned that a new blank variant is now on the rise. COVID? Right. Saying that it can't afford their upkeep, a zoo in Finland announced it would return their two blanks to China. Pandas. Right. This week, a woman in Canada is disputing an $8,000 bill from Avis, contesting the company's claim that she blanked during her three-day car rental.

Smoked in the car? No, that she drove that car 30,000 miles. For the rental companies claim to be true that she drove 30,000 miles, the woman would have had to drive 400 miles per hour, 24 hours a day for those three straight days. That said, $8,000 to drive across the entire world in a rental car seems pretty cheap. Bill, how did Josh do in our quiz? He's coming up hard. Six right, 12 more points. 14 puts him...

Two in the lead. All right. And how many, then, does Paula Poundstone need to win? Six to win, Paula. Here you go, Paula. A lot of pressure, though. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, Congress approved a spending plan to temporarily avert a blank. Government shutdown. Right. On Monday, Governor Newsom signed a law banning blank at California grocery stores. Oh.

Uh, plastic. Yeah, plastic bags. Right. This week, striking airplane mechanics rejected a final contract offer from blank... Uh, I don't know, Boeing? Yes. On Monday, NFL Hall of Famer Brett Favre revealed he had been diagnosed with blank... Uh, Parkinson's. Right. According to a study, one-third of adults suffer from a blank deficiency... Uh...

Iron. Right. On Thursday, the A's played their final game at the Coliseum in blank. Oakland. Right. According to the New York Post, new footage suggests that what we have long thought was the Loch Ness Monster is actually blank. Uh, it's a garden host. No, two Loch Ness Monsters. Oh, wow. Wow.

According again to the New York Post, new footage clearly shows two sea monsters occupying Scotland's Loch Ness at the same time. Yeah. If that were not shocking enough, the Post also has a new investigative report showing that Bigfoot is actually just three small foots standing on each other's shoulders. Bill, did Paula Poundstone do well enough to win? Six right, 12 more points, total of 15. Give her the win. Oh, Paula! There it happens. Slipped right through it.

Coming up, our panelists will predict what will we discover when we land on the mini moon.

But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godeka writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Normboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Monica Hickey and Blythe Robertson. Peter Gwynn is president.

of the Dionne Warwick Fan Club. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will we find on the mini-moon? Shantira Jackson. Lots of flags, because aliens have already done it. Josh Gommelman. Oh, you think we're going to land on this moon? Wake up, Peter! LAUGHTER

And Paula Poundstone. Alice Cramden. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Shantira Jackson, Paula Poundstone, Josh Donovan. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Kansas City Music Hall and everyone at KCUR Kansas City. Thanks to our fabulous audience here who came out to see us.

in Kansas City. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be as you hear me. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll be back with you next week. This is NPR.

Support for this podcast and the following message come from Anthropic. Introducing Claude, their AI assistant designed to help teams enhance their workflows. When working as a team, miscommunication can steal the momentum away from a good idea. That's why Anthropic designed their AI assistant to be a valuable co-worker who can help turn those one-off emails and side chats into a project to keep your team on

Claude can even create code snippets, diagrams, and graphics in different languages. And because Anthropic is committed to user privacy, Claude protects your team's projects so your trade secrets stay secret. Discover how Claude can transform your work at anthropic.com slash Claude.

This message is brought to you by Warby Parker. Their glasses start at $95, including anti-reflective, scratch-resistant prescription lenses that block 100% of UV rays. Try five pairs of frames at home for free. Go to warbyparker.com slash covered.