WWDTM: Danny Brown
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From NPR and WBEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Now that Bill's here, it's Austin City, no limits. And here is your host at the Bass Concert Hall in Austin, Texas, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everyone.

You're right, if you're anticipating a great show, we've got one for you. Later on, we're going to be talking to rapper and brand new Austin resident, Danny Brown. But first, it's just true, this town has changed. Austin used to be breakfast tacos and singer-songwriters. Now it's autonomous vehicles and vaping tech bro. Yeah.

I guess way back when, when you were all saying keep Austin weird, you should have been more specific.

But it's your turn to call us and be weird in any way you like. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can check out also our pinned post on Instagram at waitwaitnpr. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Harris in Washington, D.C. Hey, Harris. How are things in Washington?

They are good. It's spring. The cherry blossoms are coming in a couple of weeks, which is too early, but here we are. And I'm thrilled to tell her in Austin, my wife is from Austin. Is she? Oh, really? Yeah. How could she ever bring herself to leave? Well, she fell in love and moved. But her parents lived in Austin in the 70s when it was truly weird. Oh, I know. I got to, yeah. Are they still around? Do they complain about how it's changed?

Oh, no, they've moved to D.C., so... Which is totally normal. Yeah. Well, Harris, let me introduce you to our panel today. First, he's an Emmy and Peabody Award-winning journalist and comedian. It's Alzo Slade. Hey, what's up, Harris? How you doing? How are you? Max, he's a comedian and television writer. It's Karen Chee.

Welcome to Tesla. Thank you. And an actor and writer who can be seen at the Bell House on March 16th in the variety show Don't Tell Seth, an evening with the Seth Meyers writers. It's Peter Gross. Hi. Hi, Peter. So...

Harris, welcome to our show. You, of course, are going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Let's hope. Your first quote is somebody leaving a comment on an article in the New York Times. Why can't they make a spaceship shaped like a weeble so it wobbles but it doesn't fall down? LAUGHTER

Good thinking. That commenter was talking about a spaceship that landed where and then immediately toppled over? The moon. The moon, yes. Odysseus is its name. It is the first American spaceship to land on the moon since 1972. It completed its journey of hundreds of thousands of miles and immediately fell over on its side. I mean, that's a very long journey. I'd fall over and rest as well. Yeah, I know. But also, there's less gravity on the moon, so is it like...

Like a really, really slow fall. He's still falling. It's so weird. They spent tens of millions of dollars on its propulsion systems, more tens of millions on its navigation systems, and apparently there was nothing left over for a kickstand. LAUGHTER

So I heard it was powered by solar panels and it wasn't getting any sun. Right, that's it. Yeah. The problem is... They should have sent it to the sun. It would be bouncing. It'd be back already. The problem is that it's going to be powered supposedly by solar panels, but because it fell over, the solar panels are not pointing up, so therefore...

its batteries immediately started dying. And it did manage to take some pictures of the lunar surface around it and send them back, which shows that it is truly a millennial spaceship. Its battery was dying, so the last thing it did was it posted some pics online. LAUGHTER

Wait, the name of it is Odysseus? So it's not going to come back. No, it's gone. The first person ever to famously go and come back. Who had a completely flawless, incident-free journey that you can name it for? Is there a minotaur on the boat that just toppled it over? They might as well have called it My Dad. It turned out...

It turns out, I mean, as we now know, it is really hard to land on the moon successfully. So that's why the head of NASA explained, that's why we faked it the first time. All right. Your next quote is...

is from Sports Illustrated and it's talking about some new uniforms. They don't leave much to the imagination. So, players in what sport are showing off a lot more than just their athletic skills this spring? Baseball. Yes, baseball! All the players in spring training right now are complaining that their new uniform pants are practically transparent.

which is a thrill for the fans to finally see what the players have been scratching all these years.

I mean, but let's be clear. The uniforms before, they were so snug that you could just, they didn't leave much to the imagination anyway. Yeah. So now it's snug and you can sort of see a little bit. Now, Alzo, we can see if they were faking it. So they're very transparent. You can see their underwear are off and their shirts tucked into their pants, through the pants. And the players also complain that the clothing just feels very flimsy. Major League Baseball is really regretting their apparel contract with Saran Wrap. Yeah.

People are complaining, but I'm going to tune in. Now, here's the thing. Why are you going to tune in, Karen? Why exactly are you going to tune in? Listen, my eyes are working great, and I just want to do some looking. Respectfully. Respectful looking. Yeah, some respectful looking. Really, if these players try to slide in these plants, they're going to fly off like Chippendales pants. And that's exactly what Karen is looking forward to.

All right, Harris, your last quote is from Merriam-Webster. It is permissible in English for it to be what you end a sentence with. That was Merriam-Webster dictionary giving us the okay after all these years to go ahead and end sentences with what? A preposition? Yes, Harris, a preposition.

Our audience of NPR fans is cheering and whooping, yelling, free at last, free at last. Dictionary publisher and constant attention whore, Merriam-Webster, stirred up a little controversy this week by stating it was okay to end a sentence with a preposition. Really, Merriam-Webster? On what are you guys?

I'm calling my mother right after the show. Right. Because I would be like, Mom, where is the remote control at after that preposition? She would say after that preposition. Every time, bro. Every time. It's so...

Sometimes I feel like with Merriam-Webster, don't they put out neologisms, new words at the end of the year? Yeah, this is now a word that's in the dictionary. I feel like they give up because they'll just be like, I don't know, I guess slay is a real word in this context. So many people use it so much that they're like, you just do whatever you want. We'll be over here. We're trying to keep English settled. And this feels like them just being like, you're doing it anyway, so just go ahead.

keep doing it. Well, they say that this was a false rule. This was an attempt by snobby people to try to make the language be more like Latin or something, but now it's fine. And the real question is, will they finally release all those people serving time in federal prison for this? I might take them to court on this. I feel like their thing is words, right? This is outside of their jurisdiction. This is sentences. Hey, Webster, go home. This is above your pay grade. That's a fair point.

So who should be in charge of sentences? I think me. I think I should. Aren't you going to be too busy ogling men's genitals in their baseball uniforms? This, of course, is as exciting as it was for people like Alzo and other people who like to end their sentences with prepositions. It was a terrible blow to those people who love to write in to correct our grammar. And you know if you're one of those people to who I was speaking to.

Let him know, Peter. Somebody listening to this show in their car just drove off the road in anger, slammed into a tree, and the cop was like, what happened? Peter Sagal said who instead of whom? Bill, how did Harris do in our quiz? With three correct answers, Harris now has the responsibility to reform Washington, D.C. Thank you.

Thank you so much for playing, Harris. Take care. Thanks, y'all. Bye-bye. Okay, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alzo, the style these days, the aesthetic is minimalism. You know, the clean, white, uncluttered look that's taught by Marie Kondo and others. Well, this week, the Washington Post suggested that in order to have a clean, ordered home, we need to teach this aesthetic to whom? To yourself.

To your kids? Yes. Specifically, your very small children. How small? Really small. Because we're all dealing with the fact that all our kids... Wait, is this like Alabama small? Like an embryo? Yeah.

I'm just imagining some Alabama parent holding Marie Kondo's book, The Joy of Tidying Up, to a Petri dish. It's like, here, honey. Read this. You're a person. Read this. Throw out that Adam. No, it's like, it says if you want your house, and any parent of small children like myself right now knows this, if you want your house not to be filled with all these toy detritus and plastic stuff, you totally

teach your kid minimalism? After all, what is a baby but a minimalist child? But Alzo, you have a three-month-old? Yeah, I already told him. None of this belongs, homie. Our midwives told us that babies just used to sleep in the dresser drawer. Yeah.

And I'm like, why do we have this expensive bassinet then? Just don't get a bassinet built by whoever put that thing on the moon. Coming up, our panelists go for broke in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Peter Gross, Alzo Slade, and Karen Shee. And here again is your host at the Bass Concert Hall in Austin, Texas, Peter. Thank you. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. So, uh...

Have you ever listened to this show and said to yourself, you know, I have some notes? Oh, well, now's your chance. You can fill out a short survey at npr.org slash waitwaitsurvey. It will take less than 10 minutes. And finally, after all these years, it gives you a chance to fix us. That's npr.org slash waitwaitsurvey. Go over there, fill it out. It's anonymous. And thank you.

Right now, though, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff Listener Game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air, or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, everyone. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello. Hi, who's this? This is Sammy Carroll. Hey. Calling from Lafayette, Colorado. Oh, I love Colorado. What do you do there in Lafayette? Yeah, I'm a corporate trainer and a change management professional. I'm sorry. Change management. I hadn't heard that phrase. Yeah.

A change management professional. Yes. And it is not, just to be clear, not just firing people. No. That's where my head went. It's like, oh, Phil, I'm here to talk to you about a change. No.

Okay, well, that's good. I'm glad to hear it, Sammy. Welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Sammy's topic? Winning isn't everything. You may think it's great to win, but even winners sometimes lose, or so I've been told. That's never happened to me.

This week we heard a story about the drawbacks of winning big. Our panelists are going to tell you about somebody who won and lost. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win our prize, the weight-weighter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yes. Okay, first let's hear from Peter Gross.

Joshua Gellman of Doylestown, Pennsylvania, was thrilled when he won $35 million in the state lottery and even happier when he bought his parents, Ellen and Mickey, a house close to him and his family. He was fine at first, his mom Ellen told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. That is until the generals started keeping us up all night. The general she's referring to is General Silas T. Cornwall, a commander in the Continental Army who died in 1775 and whose ghost haunts the Gellman's new homes.

Apparently, General Cornwall never got a chance to see any real fighting in the Revolutionary War since he died of syphilis at the ripe old age of 41. So he spends his nights angrily knocking over furniture and moaning, George Washington was overrated. I could have won the war in half the time. Still, as inconvenient as it is, the Gelmans say they don't need to move. Sure.

Joshy went through all the trouble to buy us this house. We don't want to cause any trouble. To which Joshy replied, my parents would rather complain than be happy. This is a nightmare. Please kill me. How do you contract syphilis? A lottery winner takes his winnings.

Buys a big house for his parents, but it turns out it's haunted. Your next story of when gone wrong comes from Alzo Slade. In Brooklyn, New York, intellectually sophisticated dinner parties are all the rage. You know the scene. People passing Yogi T quotes off as their own over a charcuterie board that looks like a lunchable for adults. Laughter.

Leading this trend is an exclusive invite-only dinner party called the Algonquin Rectangle. Their membership supposedly includes the who's who of New York intelligentsia. Ben Bogle of Long Island was set on becoming a member, so he strategized how to show people that he was smart. First, he read the front page of the New York Times and listened to NPR so much that he boasts of an impressive tote bag collection. LAUGHTER

Then he practiced his vocabulary in solo Scrabble games. You want to know what words have a cue, but know you in them? Ask Ben Vogel. After all this work, he finally won a seat at the Algonquin Rectangle where members just loved him.

at first. Turns out, the folks at the Algonquin table were tired of hearing, well, actually, too many times. Ben Bogle was so obnoxious, he got booted from the rectangle. So let this be a cautionary tale for all of you listening to NPR. You may be Ben. laughter

The guy wins his way to an exclusive intellectual gathering and then annoys the hell out of everyone by mansplaining to them. Your last tale of someone who flew too close to the sun comes from Karen Chee.

You ever do something fun only to find it has consequences? Like you're scrolling Instagram and you miss your subway stop or drink too many milkshakes and get a stomach ache. Or, for instance, win your town's Christmas tree throwing competition only to then lose your $800,000 personal injury claim?

It's true, Camilla Grabska, a woman from County Clare in Ireland, won her town's Christmas tree throwing competition soon after telling doctors that she was too weak to lift a bag of groceries. For context, Grabska was rear-ended in a car accident in 2017 and sued her insurance company for damages for 760,000 euros or $800,000.

Here's some advice. If you're going for insurance fraud, don't get an incredibly incriminating photo of you catapulting a tree across a field in the local newspaper. When asked in court why she would go through the trouble of throwing Christmas trees when she was in such pain, Grabska replied, I was trying to live a normal life. All right.

So, these are your choices. One of these people won but lost. Was it from Peter Gross, a lottery winner who spent some of his money on a new house for his parents,

but his parents say the house is haunted, but they still won't leave. From Alzo, an aspiring intellectual who got himself an entree into the Algonquin rectangle in Brooklyn only to annoy the hell out of everyone. Or from Karen Shea, a woman who lost her massive disability claim because she decided to enter and win a Christmas tree throwing competition. LAUGHTER

Which of these is the real story of a winner and a loser? Well, actually, Karen. So you are sort of tipping a little hat there to Alzo, but you are in fact choosing Karen's story. Well, to bring you the real story, we spoke to someone who is familiar with an important aspect of it. So we get a large tree and a small tree, and some people will throw it overhead like a javelin.

That was Mike DeCrossa. He is the service manager at Moore Miles Automotive and the organizer of what, as far as we know, is the only American Christmas tree toss, explaining how you go about doing that, which this woman did, as Karen said. Congratulations. You got it right. We're going to play for Karen. You've won our prize. The voice of your choice on your voicemail. Well done. Thank you.

Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely. Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely.

And now the game we call Not My Job. Danny Brown grew up in Detroit and his first studio rap album in 2010 helped redefine the Detroit hip-hop scene. MTV called him one of the rap's most unique figures, so it makes sense he moved to one of America's most unique cities, Austin, Texas. Danny Brown, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you.

So let's start with MTV. They called you one of the most unique rappers in hip-hop. Do you know what they meant? I have no idea what they meant, but I guess because I looked a little different than the average rapper. So like your hair's dyed? I mean, yeah, but I had wilder hair back then, and I had missing tooths, and...

Just was a little grimy. Yeah. It was a little grimy back then. You do something that I don't think a lot of the people in your field do is that you use different voices when you rap, right? Yeah, I try to use different voices. Just whatever emotion I'm feeling or the emotion of the song, I try to let that convey through the voice. Do you have, like, names for your voices that you use? Like, these are verses that this guy's going to do? Yeah. Yes. Do you know any of those names offhand? One's just called Adderall. Oh.

Where did you get that name? It's so fascinating. That's fascinating. Yeah. So we were reading about you. You grew up in Detroit, and you said that you were rhyming almost as soon as you could talk, right? You're right? Yeah. Yeah. My mom used to read Dr. Seuss books to me all the time, so she said when I first started talking, I just talked him around. Really? Yeah. Yeah, he was killing him on the playground, green eggs and ham. You feel me? You know what I mean? Yeah.

Do you remember any of those rhymes that you were doing? I mean, that was like 80s. So it was, you know, those old, my name is D, I'm in a place to be. You know, those real cool old D-ish, Curtis Blow-ish rhymes back then. You also won a lot of rap battles in high school, right? Yeah. Yeah. I lost a lot too. Did you really? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I'm the professional rapper now, so I guess I won it. Yeah, I guess so. I was going to ask who you lost to. Let him know. What kind of contract does that guy have? Is there like a secret weapon to winning rap battles? Because I couldn't on a bet. Oh.

Mean it was always like I was kind of quiet in school to be honest So it always just be like, you know, I would instantly become popular after I wrapped kind of thing really So yeah, so every time like some kid will wrap up. Oh, it's my time to shine That was the Adderall voice right there So you had this huge album about ten years ago When you were about 30 called XXX or 30, right? Yeah, and you have a new album

When you're about 40 called Quaranta, Italian. Quaranta. Quaranta, excuse me. You got a row to R. Quaranta. Quaranta. See, he battling you already. You didn't even know it. Uh...

So you album 30 when you were 30 and Italian for 40 when you're 40. Has Adele ever called to say you're stealing my bit? No, I actually met Adele once. Did you? She's really nice, yeah, at Wembley Stadium. Yeah, she was really nice. I think I made a crude joke and she got up out of there after that. Really? But for the most part, she was pretty cool. She was nice, yeah. And it was when you all first met? Yeah. Yeah, it was like first thing. I didn't know it was Adele, though.

You didn't know? Wait a minute. I came because I was actually opening for Eminem. And she just was there to see Eminem, obviously. And she, you know, I just had the empty dressing room that she can hang at. And she was chilling. I just thought it was just a cool white lady back there. So had you known it was Adele, you wouldn't have made the joke? No, I would have been on my bed.

best behavior. You know what, though? I have not met her in person, but her voice is like very soaring and kind of pretty. And then when she talks, she talks like a chimney sweeper. It's a very big difference. But what I love is, as you say, you're in this dressing room, and you say to yourself, oh, there's this white lady here. I don't know

who she is. Thus, I will say something incredibly filthy. Yeah. I was drinking a lot back then. Yeah. I'll blame the alcohol. Yeah. Is alcohol a name of one of the other voices? Adderall, there's alcohol. Speaking of which, if you don't know about your struggles with addiction and substances and drink and stuff, you can find out about it because Quaranta, let me get that right,

It has a lot of verses about your struggles and some regrets. I mean, it's like a, forgive me, it's like an older guy's rap album, right? Yeah, it was a midlife crisis. Speaking of midlife crisis, we understand that you, among your many enthusiasms these days, you're into pickleball. Yeah, I actually just started playing. Really? Yeah. I actually went to an old folks home.

That's not fair, bruh. No, they was whooping my, they was killing me. So what inspired you to go play pickleball? I mean, it started out as a joke for me to go. It was a sketch for me to go play pickleball with all these old people. And, you know, I guess I was supposed to win, but it didn't work out like that. I was like, man, they really moving fast out there, you know?

So I fell in love with it, so I'm playing. Are you planning to get good, go back to the old? Yeah, man, I'm trying to get my revenge. I feel like those old folks, they pride themselves on baiting young people into the sport. Yes, they did. They did. They was like, oh. Did they hustle? You were like, oh, yeah, my knees are shot, young man. No, they was in great shape. I was like, man, it really was inspiring. I was like, I want to be like that when I get your age. They're like, you're not going to live to be my age. Yeah.

When you do your 70 album, that can be all about the pickleball.

Have you, in fact, put Pickleball into a rap yet? No, but it's coming. In a weird way, the Pickleball rap is coming for all of us, if you know what I mean. Well, Danny Brown, it is a pleasure to have you. We have, in fact, asked you here to play a game we're calling... Danny Brown meet Dan Brown. So we are going to ask you, Danny Brown, three questions about Dan Brown, the author of The Da Vinci Code and many other bestsellers.

Okay, if you get two out of three right, you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Danny Brown playing for? Heather Clark of Austin, Texas. Yeah. All right. Hometown, man. Hometown. Ready to do this? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I'm telling you, man. I'm sorry, Heather. No, it's all right. Ignorance is absolutely a blessing in this game. You think you know something, that's where you go into trouble. Here we go.

So, Dan Brown is now one of the best-selling authors of all time, but before that, he tried to make it in the music business as a singer-songwriter. He only sold a few thousand copies of his album, probably because it contained songs like which of these? A, Cypher, a song whose lyrics were a string of letters the listener had to decode. B, a song about pancakes called Flap My Jacks.

Or C, an ode to phone sex called 976 Love? I'm going to go with C because that just seems cooler. You're right. It's an underrated song. I was about to say, for people who don't remember 976 numbers, it was like a crude analog OnlyFans. All right. That was very good. You got that. You see? Instinct, man. That's where you go with it.

After he became famous, Brown's life did change in some surprising ways, like which of these? A, when he forgot his ID at the airport, he got through security by showing them his author photo on a copy of The Da Vinci Code. B, he got so much Fandale, he started using it as free bedding in his horse barn.

Or C. He was gifted a lifetime supply of communion wafers from the Catholic Church. I'm going to go with A. You're right again. This was around...

He says he drove to Boston Airport from his home in New Hampshire. He's like, oh my God, I'm in line. I don't have my license. What am I going to do? The person in front of him, as everybody was doing at that time, had a copy of the Da Vinci Code. And he said, can I borrow that? And he picked it up and said, that's me. And it was. So he got on the plane. All right, one more question. You're doing exceptionally well here.

There have been tributes to Dan Brown and his work everywhere as in which of these: A. In 2004 Crayola Crayons unveiled the color Dan Brown

B, in 2006, a judge worked a Dan Brown-style puzzle into his ruling when Dan Brown was sued for plagiarism. Or C, in honor of his 2013 book Inferno, Brown University went by the name Dan Brown University for an entire semester. I guess I'll go with C. You're going to go with C, that Brown University called itself Dan Brown University.

No, it was actually the judge. The judge, you see, if you knew Dan Brown, he's always like hiding codes in his books. It's all about cracking the codes. And the judge did rule, however, that Mr. Brown was not found guilty of plagiarism. So, Bill, how did Danny Brown do in the quiz about Dan Brown? Well, he won with two out of three. That's our winner. Thank you.

Danny Brown is a rapper and host of the Danny Brown Show. His new album, Cuaranta, is out now. Danny Brown, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you guys for having me. Give it up for Austinite Danny Brown. In just a minute, Bill has some upsetting news for lovers of dried fruit in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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This message comes from NPR sponsor Sony Pictures Classics presenting Kneecap, a new comedy about three friends who start a rap group that creates a movement. Starring the group Kneecap as themselves and Michael Fassbender. Now playing nationwide, only in theaters. From NPR and WPEC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with also Slade, Peter Gross, and Karen Sheehy.

And here again is your host, the Bass Concert Hall of Austin, Texas, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you.

Just a minute, when life gives you limericks, Bill makes limerade in our Listener to Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Karen, the path to home ownership gets harder every day, which is why the New York Times recommends that young people should buy their first home from whom?

From their parents? Yes, from their parents. That's the idea. More and more people are buying their childhood homes from their parents. It makes sense. It comes pre-haunted with memories of your childhood traumas. Where?

Well, the parents continue to live there. So here's the thing. Ooh, this sounds like a terrible idea. Go on. So the idea is, first of all, you get a good price. They're not going to gouge you, right? The equity stays in the family. Your parents still have a place to live. And it's great because if your mom asks you again when you're going to get married, you can say, Mom, go to your room. Okay.

My house, my rules. So you have to have parents who own a house. You do. You have to have parents that own a house. You have to have parents who own a house, who you're okay living with. Yes, yes. And who are going to not gouge you. This applies to like six people. Yeah. And all those people, I bet, have enough money to buy their own house. Yeah. Well, I'm just going to move back with my parents and live for free. Yeah.

I have to buy the house to live with my parents. Yes, the other plan is just wait for them to die. Get it for free. You move into the house and then you place toys on the stairs. Then only you know where the toys are. Think of the thrill, though, of moving into your own parents' bedroom.

And your mom's like, why aren't you having kids? You're like, I cannot perform in this room the activity that would allow me to have kids. Especially because you're still standing in here and asking me questions. Peter. Yes. Peter, a small town in West Virginia attracted hundreds to a candlelight vigil this week as all the people assembled to mark the tragic loss of the last what in that state? Democrat. No. No.

The last, the, um, some, was it like a, uh, an animal? No, it was not an animal. Not a natural thing? No, not a natural animal. Uh, like a TV, like a movie store, like a video rental store? It was a business, but, uh, but not that. Let's see. Can I have a hint? Well, uh, it, it, it, apparently they lost all their business when that Buffalo Wild Boobs opened in the next town over.

The last Hooters? The last Hooters in West Virginia has closed. I don't understand why I wasn't told about this sooner. Well, Peter, we didn't know if you were ready to handle it, frankly. I'm not. I'm going to freak out now in front of all these people. I know. It is with heavy chests that we report to you all.

That the last remaining Hooters restaurant in West Virginia not only has been closed, but the building was demolished. West Virginians who want food served by scantily clad young women will now have to travel out of state or just go to that one slutty Wendy's. LAUGHTER

Wait, so there were men and women at this vigil? Apparently, yes. Apparently, there were men and women, but the saddest thing was the men, especially the ones who were all standing around saying, yeah, Becky said she was going to call me. She really liked me. I asked her for something, and she brought it. Yeah. I'm going to ask her to marry me.

Wait, so how does it Hooters not survive anywhere? I don't understand. Yeah, if Hooters can't survive in West Virginia, they're struggling. Are we as a species not interested in buffalo wings anymore? No.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. You can catch us most weeks back at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. And of course, come see us on the road. We'll be in Pittsburgh on April 11th.

and at Wolf Trap outside of Washington, D.C. on August 1st. And the Wait, Wait, Stand Up Tour has dates all over the East Coast in April. For tickets and information on all of our live shows, go to NPRPresents.org. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Kelsey Roeder calling from San Francisco. Hey, how are things in San Fran? Oh, things in San Fran are great, and we don't call it that. I know. I did it to annoy you.

Thank you. But since I didn't know you, I didn't want to go all the way to Frisco because you'd hang up. Well, Kelsey, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a big winner. You ready to play? I'm so ready. Okay, here is your first limerick. On dried cherries and apples I'm grazing. They taste chewy and sweet and amazin'.

And I know where they grow, but these wrinkled ones, though. Tell me, where do you harvest a... Raisin. A raisin, that's right. According to London's Daily Mirror, modern-day society is full of adults who have no idea where raisins come from. LAUGHTER

Other than, of course, their natural assumption from mommy and daddy raisins. The Mirror cites Twitter as evidence featuring lots of tweets confessing his ignorance like this one. Bill? Am I the only dumb bitch that doesn't know raisins were grapes?

Wait, Bill gets to read his own tweets on the air? I know. I personally found this fascinating news, but what was I eating at the Pick Your Own Raisin Farm? Here is your next limerick. Food inflation makes Kellogg's a winner. We are more than a good day, beginner. Grab a bowl, not a plate, because this meal is great.

We will eat frosted flakes for our... Dinner. Dinner, yes! In a new ad campaign, Kellogg's is telling us to eat cereal for dinner. They're even running a commercial, this is true, with Tony the Tiger, where this mom tells a chicken to take the night off, and the chicken is devastated that it will not be eaten. LAUGHTER

Eating cereal for dinner? That's their new thing. That's not new. Well, if you've been broke before. Well, that's the thing. I mean...

The meaning, you know, what that indicates, eating cereal for dinner, depends a lot on who's doing it and what's the cereal, right? So if you serve kids Rice Krispies for dinner, it says, hey, we're doing something a little different tonight. If you serve them Cookie Crisp for dinner, that says, isn't it fun to stay at Dad's house? It builds character. It does.

But if Kellogg's really wants us to eat cereal for dinner, they should make cereal for dinner. Like, mmm, Frosted Mini-Meats. That's Hamburger Helper.

All right. Here, Kelsey, here, Kelsey, is your last limerick. Though it doesn't go fast or real far, in tight spaces, this thing is a star. Its major appeal, it can tuck in its wheels.

It's a really small foldable car. Car, yes. The electric car company City Transformer has unveiled a new foldable automobile. They say it'll make parking in tight spaces a breeze. Please just remember to remove kids and pets before you fold up the car. How small is it, Ken? It's a small car to begin with.

And you kind of fold the wheels in to make it even smaller, right? But then do you like walk away with it like George Jetson or do you just leave it there? I think you like prop it up against something like a large skateboard. I'm not quite sure. I don't think this foldable car thing is going to take off. It's like when people, when those kind of, sorry if some of you all are in the audience, but folks that fold up their little scooters and carry them everywhere. Yeah.

That's corny. It's going to be even more corny when you're in line at Starbucks with your card hanging off your shoulder. I fold up my bicycle and carry it everywhere. So there. And you are very cool. Thank you, Karen. You know, Karen lingered on that seat for quite a while. You are very cool.

Yeah. Well, Bill, how did Kelsey do? She's very good. She won. Congratulations, Kelsey. Yay. Thank you so much for playing. I love this guy. Take care, Kelsey. This message comes from NPR sponsor, Capella University. Capella's programs teach skills relevant to your career so you can apply what you learn right away. See how Capella can make a difference in your life at capella.edu.

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This message comes from NPR's sponsor, Sony Pictures Classics, presenting Kneecap, the riotous and mostly true story of three friends who start a rap group that creates a movement. In this fiercely original comedy that, according to the rap, obliterates the musical biopic, the group Kneecap star as themselves alongside Michael Fassbender, laying down a global rallying cry for the defense of native cultures and getting into plenty of trouble along the way. Kneecap is now playing only in theaters.

It's now time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer, inflation. It's now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Peter has two, Alzo has two, and whoa, Karen has four. All right. Very good, Karen. Well, since Alzo and Peter are tied, I will arbitrarily pick Alzo to go first. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, the Supreme Court said they will decide whether blank can be shielded from criminal prosecution. Trump. Yes. On Tuesday, lawmakers in Alabama proposed bills to protect doctors in that state who provide blank treatments. IVF. Yes. This week, a glamping site in the UK was told to close down after neighbors complained of blank at all hours of the day. Party. Not quite. Bad campfire singing. Yeah, shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down.

Following backlash, food giant Blank walked back plans to institute surge pricing for their food. Wendy's. Yes. On Wednesday, it was announced that Ryan Gosling would perform the song I'm Just Ken at the 2024 Blank Awards. Oscar Awards? Yeah, Oscars. This week, a man in Poland was arrested after neighbors caught him trying to sneak a stolen blank into his third floor apartment. Squirrel. No, a stolen...

No, a stolen horse. Come on. Obviously, if you are trying to hide a stolen horse in your third-floor apartment, your neighbors are going to find out. I mean, it was bad enough already, but why did the guy make the horse wear high heels? Bill, how did Alzo do in our quiz? Four right, eight more points, total of ten for the lead. All right. So...

Peter, you're up next. On Wednesday, Mitch McConnell announced he'd be stepping down as blank in November. The devil.

No, it was Senate Minority Leader. On Thursday, Vladimir Putin said the West risked nuclear conflict if they continued to intervene in blank. Ukraine? Yes. This week, the Smokehouse Creek fire became the second largest wildfire in the history of blank. Texas? Yes. This week, a teacher in New Mexico was sued after parents alleged she had students blank during her chemistry class. Uh,

Give sex ed to each other. No. Geez. What? No. I don't know. She was arrested. It had to have been bad. No. Fight with real swords. What? Oh, yeah. Chemistry teacher. I get it. Okay. It makes sense. Yeah. On Thursday, health officials recommended that older adults get another blank vaccine shot.

COVID. Yes. Best known for his role in Curb Your Enthusiasm and a career on stage comedian and actor Blank passed away at the age of 76. Richard Lewis. Richard Lewis. This week at McDonald's in Florida with a broken ice cream machine improvised and gave a woman who ordered ice cream Blank instead.

Um... Curdled milk. No, four coffee creamers in a cup filled with ice. The woman drives up to the drive-thru, she says, I'd like a McFlurry, an ice cream, and she was given instead a large cup of ice cream. LAUGHTER

And if that weren't bad enough, while still sitting in the drive-thru, a huge man got in her backseat and said, I'm Big Mac, where are we going? Bill, how did Peter do in our quiz? Six right, 12 more points. He has 14 to take over the lead.

Okay, how many does Karen need to win? Well, five to tie and six to win. There we go. Karen, this is for the game. On Wednesday, U.S. lawmakers struck a temporary deal to avoid a blank. Oh, a government shutdown. Yes, on Thursday, experts warned that a blizzard could bring life-threatening conditions to blank.

The Northeast? No, the other side. California. This week, U.S. officials began looking into the possibility of airdropping aid into blank. Palestine? Close enough. Gaza. On Wednesday, a consumer rights group in Europe accused social media giant blank of illegally collecting user data. Meta. Yes. This week, a flight radar caught a pilot in Ohio navigating an erratic flight path all so he could just blank.

See his girlfriend. No, draw an enormous penis in the sky. According to a new report, blank prices have reached a 30-year high. Eggs. I'll give it closer. Grocery prices in general. Yeah, on Tuesday, Disney announced they would once again raise ticket prices at blank. Disneyland. Yes, well, Disney World. Okay, I'll give that to you, too. Thank you. Following things like brains, ears, and even a heart, researchers announced this week they have successfully grown blank in a lab.

Ears, braids, and a heart. Teeth? No, testicles. Researchers have successfully grown a pair of human testicles. What's even more surprising is they grew them directly in the back of a Dodge Ram pickup truck. Science. No, actually...

Everybody here in Austin is like, I've seen that guy. I am that guy. Actually, no, they grew them on a mouse, right? This was done in hopes of better understanding reproductive organs and male infertility. So far, they've limited this research to mice and, from what we've seen, Major League Baseball uniforms. Bill, did Karen do well enough to win? She did very well. Close to a win. She tied with Peter.

for a co-champion. I think we should settle this with Karen and Peter battle rapping each other. Coming up, our panelists will predict, now that they have told us we can end a sentence with a preposition, what will Merriam-Webster give us permission to do next?

Thanks.

Wait, wait, don't tell me. He's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philip Godeker, Rizal Limerick. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shane O'Donnell. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Bass Concert Hall in Austin. B.J. Liedemann composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Our pants designer is Peter Gwynn. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Shillog and the executive director

producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will Merriam-Webster give us permission to do next? Karen Chee. Oh, give your friends a little kiss when they're feeling sad. Alzo Slade. Save people embarrassment by accepting any spelling of the word there. And Peter Gross. It will now be allowable to ogle professional baseball players' crotches and brag about it in front of thousands of people.

Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Karen Chee, Peter Gross, Alzo Slade. Special thanks to Wade Lee and everyone here at KU at the end of Austin. Thanks to our fabulous audience here in Austin, Texas. Thanks to you listening at home. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.

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