WWDTM: Dakota Johnson
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Is that angels singing in three-part harmony? No, it's just me, Bill Curtis. And here is your host at the Studebaker Theatre at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sago. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.

Great to see you. We've got a great show for you this week. Later on, we're going to be talking to Dakota Johnson, who, among other things, was the star of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, that trilogy, which, of course, is the reason that none of us will ever again sit down to watch a movie with our parents. LAUGHTER

But now it's your turn to dominate the conversation. Give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hello, this is Jonathan from Fort Lauderdale. How are you? You're a Florida man. It's great to talk to you. What do you do there?

I'm an airline pilot. Oh, I'm sorry. I said anything to make you mad. So you're an airline pilot? Do you fly for one of the major airlines? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Do you work on your mid-flight PA announcements just to sound like cool and laconic? You do want to sound confident in what you do, and that kind of reassures the passengers. Can you give us a sample of your mid-flight PA style?

Yeah, sure. Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to ask you not to congregate around the bathrooms because that's just weird. And if you keep your hands and feet inside...

And if you keep your hands and feet inside the windows, we will get there faster. I'm kind of curious what your airline is. Well, Jonathan, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, a comedian whose special Love Joy you can see on Peacock and whose album Yell Joy is available to stream now. It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Hello. Hello.

Hi, Joelle. Next, as the writer and executive producer behind the new movie in which a super sweet and positive plastic doll invents an atomic bomb, that is Barbenheimer coming this winter. I'm not kidding. Neither is he. It's Adam Felber. Captain Jonathan, how are you?

I'm good, I'm good. How you doing? Good, good, good. And a comedian who will be soon at the Comics Roadhouse at the Mohegan Sun Casino, December 7th through the 9th. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, sir. Hi, Alonzo.

Jonathan, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. You ready to do this? Flight attendants, prepare for takeoff. Oh, yeah. He's in the zone. He's in the zone, everybody. Your first quote here is somebody this week trying to make peace with the advertisers who have been fleeing his platform. Go F yourself.

Go F yourself. Who told his own, essentially his customers to go F themselves? I believe it was Elon Musk. It was in fact Elon Musk. This week, Mr. Musk, after a lot of turmoil in his life and business, he appeared at a live event with the New York Times. It didn't go well.

Now, it's hard to blame him for being a little off balance this week. Up until now, he's been able to say, look, whatever, I know I'm not the worst person alive. Henry Kissinger is right there. LAUGHTER Oh! LAUGHTER

Too soon. No. No. No. No. I mean, I think Elon's getting so bad that even the other horrible billionaires want him out of the club. Really? Even they're like, no, Elon, you can't even hang out with him. Even Mr. Burns would be like, release the hounds. I came up on the whole, like, as you know, Peter, the New York...

comedy slash performance art scene. And Elon Musk feels like some project by one of those comics. Like maybe Andy Kaufman didn't die and he's doing business as he is. Yeah, I know. This all happened, by the way, at the week that Tesla finally unveiled their first truck, the Cybertruck. If you haven't seen it, it literally...

looks like they asked this eight-year-old kid to draw like the truck of the future and then gave that kid 60 million dollars an erector set and some aluminum foil. Yeah. Right? It looks like a Pixar. Yeah, it does. It looks like something that might pull up in front of my desert farm if I need to buy some off-market droids. Yeah. Uh...

This is the car that when they unveiled the prototype four years ago, Elon Musk came out to brag about the shatterproof glass, right? And he picked up a big steel ball, provided for this purpose, and he turned and he threw it as hard as he could at the car and it smashed the glass. Again, my hat's off to you, Mr. Kaufman. You can stop now. Your next quote is some lyrics from a song released just this week.

Betrayed by this town, let's tear it all down. Now that song called Betrayed by this Town is by a new singer and songwriter named Anna Indiana, who is the first singer-songwriter who is completely what? Let me think. Is she deaf? She's not deaf. I'll give you a hint. She grew up in Silicon Valley. Oh, A.I. Yes, she's A.I., the initials. Anna Indiana. Anna Indiana.

So, but yo, this is very exciting. Betrayed by this town came out just this week and it is already the number one song on my Roomba's Spotify rack. Our Anna Indiana's music, everything, her voice, her lyrics, the music itself, everything is generated by AI and you would never know it really unless you heard her music, her voice or her lyrics. Yeah.

This is the greatest thing for live music. People in live music couldn't have designed a better reason to stick with live music. They said, okay, make a horrible AI so the people will listen to you. They're like, we don't have to. They did it themselves. She also looks like if Taylor Swift and Dua Lipa had a baby.

You know? She also sounds like if Taylor Swift and Dua Lipa had a baby. We are assured, by the way, that we shouldn't be worried that they tasked an AI to go and write a song about anything it might like. And she sings about being disappointed by humans and wanting to, quote, destroy this town. Yeah, tear it all down. Tear it all down. It may be that her real interest is not so much in music. Her second single is called Which of These Pictures Contains a Motorcycle?

All right. Here, Jonathan, is your last quote. His whole persona was cooked up in some perfect man lab. That was Entertainment Weekly commenting on the apparent end of the nation's love affair with the star of what hit reality dating show?

Oh, I don't watch a lot of these. It's a romance show. It's actually, it was a variation on a very well-established show, this time with a much older cast. Does that help? Oh, it's not Frasier, is it? Give them a point. No, it is not Frasier. You've already won, so I'll just tell you, it is The Golden Bachelor. Does that ring any bells for you? Oh.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Now, this is, of course, the version of The Bachelor with senior citizens. And for the whole season, which ended this week, everybody loved this show. They loved the star of the show, the golden bachelor himself, Gary. He's a 72-year-old widower. They loved the contestants, a bunch of lovely golden girls. They loved that ABC decided not to go with the original title, The Bachelor Grandpa's Horny. Yeah.

Good choice. But it turns out, just as the show was coming to an end, we found out Gary's not who he said he was. He's really just a 28-year-old with terrible skin. No, the problem is that he had told everybody, this was part of his allure, that ever since his beloved wife died many years ago, he had never dated anyone else. Who could replace her? That turned out to be a lie. He's been dating all along. He tried to defend himself.

By saying no no no those woman I saw meant nothing to me It's not like now when I'm sincerely interested in these complete strangers who were also cast in the same game show Really the guy who wanted to go on national television to find a date was lying. It's isn't it amazing? nonetheless everybody had like illusions with the disappointment that people are feeling is the understanding that yes it turns out all of

All men are terrible, right? Everybody's watched The Regular Bachelor, they know that. But we thought this guy with the wisdom of years, maturity, he'd be different. I mean, he's 72, there's only one way he's ever going to ghost anyone. Well, apparently, Peter, he has proven you wrong. Apparently, yeah. Yeah, I don't know why we assume that older people are better versions of themselves from 20 years before.

Not all of them are. That's true. Some of those... We're not like fine wine. Some of us just go bad. Bill, how did Jonathan do in our quiz? With two out of three, Jonathan, you landed the plane safely and won this contest. Congratulations, Jonathan. Thank you. You guys did a great job. Hope to see you at the airport. Okay. I drink champagne from your slipper.

All right, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Joyelle, tired of dating apps like Tinder and Hinge, many young singles are instead looking for love on what app? LinkedIn? No, that's old news, actually. They've done that. This is...

Pet finder? That's not a bad idea. No, I think that's a better idea. It's, you can, on this app in particular, you can find love and then say te amo. Oh. Duolingo. Duolingo, yeah. Yeah.

The app allows you, I mean, this is the language learning app, right? But it also allows you to connect with other users. So it can be a great dating app if what you're looking for is a partner who is trying to learn Spanish five days before a vacation.

But if most people's experience with Duolingo is any indication, you'll have a love affair you're just incredibly into and enthusiastic about for three weeks and then you'll completely forget about it. Yeah. I met a dude in Amsterdam and I downloaded Duolingo and I tried to learn Dutch and it literally was like, are you sure? I was like, really? Judging me. Did you end up learning Dutch? Nine. No. Bye.

Machete. Coming up, we go shopping with mom and pop. It's our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. And thanks, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Hi, my name is Randy. I'm speaking to you from the amazing Richmond, Virginia. I love Richmond, a lovely place. We enjoy our time there. What do you do there? I listen to NPR mostly. What better choice is there? You win. You win. You win. You win.

Randy, it's nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Randy's topic? Small Business Saturday. Small Business Saturday, right? One of our favorite of these new shopping holidays among Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday, Ash Wednesday.

Our panelists are going to tell you about one small business that apparently has tried an unusual way to attract customers. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight-waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Absolutely. Well, okay. First, let's hear from Alonzo Bowden. Aaron Arlington of Littleton, Colorado, has gone up against the big boys of Uber and Lyft by creating Green Rides, the ultimate green ride share.

GreenRides promises their customers zero carbon emission transportation and zero guilt. And she means it because when you hail a GreenRide, what shows up is somebody with a bicycle. Like Uber, there are options. You can choose GreenRide Standard and you'll sit on the handlebars.

Green Ride Trailer gets you a ride behind the bike in a beat-up trailer, and Green Ride Fitness gets you a tandem bike to help you pedal for the cardio. Customers so far have offered mixed reviews. Pam Lewis said, it was too hard to drink my coffee sitting on the handlebars. And Kelly Bain, visiting from L.A., didn't mind that the BMX bike showed up with its axle pegs to stand on, but had a problem with the 13-year-old driver. Quote,

He said something like I looked gnar and could pinch the biscuit during his bunny hop anytime. So I went ahead and got an Uber. Green rides, Uber. But instead of a person with a car, you get a person with a bicycle. Your next story of busy small business comes from Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Are you dating in a big city? Well, it turns out you might be catfished. Not by someone who collects human hair, but by a restaurant?

This week, vintage clothing curator Taylor Parry of New York was excited when a man on a dating app asked her to dinner. She did all the things one does before a date: showered, put on makeup, and got her hopes up. However, after waiting at the restaurant for 15 minutes, she noticed David Duchovny's doppelganger had unmatched her. And what does one do when they're all dressed up with nowhere to go? Spend money, honey. Like the girl boss she is, she made lemonade out of sad lemons and dropped 45 vintage curating dollars on her solo meal.

Later, while scrolling through the numerous Facebook groups with the theme of, don't date him, girl, he tried to poison my cat, she spotted a trend. A number of other Big Apple singles had the same story. Women were getting axed out to this restaurant only to be stood up. As a small business owner herself, she couldn't help but recognize game. Even though her heart ached, she admits that their marketing team needs a raise. A restaurant in New York that is apparently...

asking women out in the dating apps and then standing them up so they sit there and just have drinks and a meal by themselves. Your last story of a business venture's adventure comes from Adam Felber.

Ah, Times Square in the 70s, vibrant and alive, dangerous and filthy. You can't go back, and most people wouldn't want to, except now you can, and apparently some people do. Rye Playland in Rye, New York has unveiled its first annual Christmas on 42nd, where the entire amusement park is transformed into a vintage recreation of disco-era New York City. Shady dealers vend concessions from street-side blankets, but those little unmarked

envelopes of white powder they hand you are powdered sugar for your churros, which will go well with your dime bag of popcorn as you and your kids step into a vintage peep show booth to have your photos taken.

Nightly events include the Vice Squad Raid stunt show and the Summer of Sam blackout. Says Nicolau, quote, it captures all the danger of the old days, but it's completely safe. Well, except for the chili dogs. Those are nasty. All right. Here are your choices. Thank you.

I think I know which ones the audience wants to be true. All right. So somebody out there had a great idea for a new business. Was it a woman in Colorado who started Uber, but you get a bicycle instead of a car and someone to...

pump you over. From Joyelle Nicole Johnson, a restaurant that seems to be matching with women on dating apps, asking them to come have a meal there and standing them up so they eat alone. Or from Adam Felber, Christmas on 42nd Street, a small amusement park that has recreated the ambiance of the old red light district in Midtown. Which of these is the real story? As much as I wish it were Times Square. Ah.

As much as I can see Colorado doing something like that, I'm going to have to go with B. You're going to have to go with B. That would be Joyelle's story. To bring you the real answer, here's somebody very close to that real story. I was just stood up on a date, and it was the most humiliating experience ever. Thank you.

That was Taylor Paré's TikTok. She is the woman who says she was stood up by the restaurant she was in. Congratulations, Randy. You got it right. Joyelle was telling the truth. She gets a point. But more importantly, you win our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose asking you out to anywhere you like. You know, it's up to you. Thank you so much for playing, Randy. Oh, thank you. Take care. Bye-bye.

And now it's time for the game we call Not My Job. Some people are called Hollywood royalty, but Dakota Johnson really is. Her grandmother, mother, father, and stepfather are all movie stars, but unlike other royal heirs we might mention, she has gone out and earned her

Thank you.

Thank you for being with us. I, you know, I like old Hollywood stories and am just amazed by, I don't know what to call it, but your pedigree. Your grandmother was Tippi Hedren. Your mother, Melanie Griffith. Your father, Don Johnson. They broke up and then your mother married Antonio Banderas. So you grew up. What was that like, if you can even, like, put a description to it? Well...

I would tell you different things that I tell my therapist. Okay. No, I had an incredible life growing up. I traveled a lot. I was always on set and that was incredibly fun and special. I learned to drive when I was nine, you know? Wait a minute. Why? Why?

Because, well, the first thing, it was on a golf cart. And that's how my dad would get from his trailer to set. And so I learned how to drive a golf cart. And then I learned how to drive the car. Because that's the obvious next step. Yes. Or learning how to play golf, either. No, because that's so boring. Yeah.

I have young children right now, and I know that for young children, the world is just the world around them. They just assume that's what the world is like. So in addition to, of course, living with your parents, you also saw them on screens. You saw them on big films and television shows. Was that unusual to see your mom, say, just be someone entirely different? I'm thinking again of you as a young child.

I don't know. There's something so special about her and her artistry and the way she performs. And I think when I was younger, I was like, yeah, that's my mom. And I can tell that she's really good, but that's my mom. So, okay, let's move on. And I'd rather watch, you know, some other... LAUGHTER

Could you offend your parents? Like, oh, you know, your dad's like, oh, Nash Bridges is on tonight. You're like, yeah, no. Yeah, I was like, I'd rather watch the OC dad, you know, than a kid. It's a kind of rebellion. All right. This is sort of a related question to you watching her in movies. We understand, I read somewhere, that your mother has seen Fifty Shades of Grey three times. What? You didn't know that? Ha ha.

We read that somewhere. That's not true. It's not true? No, that cannot be true. Why would that happen? I don't know. That's why I brought it up. She's your mom. I thought it was a little odd. I mean, I'm very proud of my children, but... There's no chance that that is true. Okay. That would be... That would be psycho. Yeah.

All right. So, Fifty Shades was your first, like, enormous hit. Did your...

Family, have any advice about becoming a huge star? - My grandmother, she was like, you're gonna get asked a lot of questions and sometimes someone will ask you a question but you don't always have to answer just because somebody asked. And I was like, oh okay, so I'll just be quiet. And I remember having these really uncomfortable moments where I didn't wanna answer a question so I'd say absolutely nothing.

like not a word and the person thought that I was malfunctioning or like having some kind of

Yeah, that's not allowed. You're supposed to blather mindlessly. Don't you know the rules? Yeah, or you're supposed to say some really clever response that answers but doesn't answer and then tells the person that you're not answering the question and to move on or get out. And you just sat and stared at them in silent judgment. Yeah, I was just like, well, she said to not say anything if I didn't want to say anything, so I'm not going to say anything. Yeah.

I'm also guessing that the junkets for the Fifty Shades movies had more than the usual share of questions that you don't want to answer, right? Yes, especially in certain countries. Like, Germany was weird. LAUGHTER

I bet. Can you tell us more, Fraulein, about that? Nein. Of all the countries, Germany was the weirdest? I would like to show you a video and get your reaction to it. I made it myself. Scary. Actually, I had not seen the movie, I'm going to confess, so I watched it this week. Are you okay? I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm okay. One of the many things amazing is like, I have never seen a movie with better production design in my life. It's so, I mean, put aside the sex. That cannot be true. No, no, really? Because like, oh my God. That's insane. No, like Christian's apartment is amazing. Have I just not been around enough? I don't know. I mean, have you ever seen another movie? No.

Really? Oh, wait a minute. Dakota, can I say I think you're prepared for any question. Yeah, I know. Wait a minute. If I understand correctly, I'm just supposed to stare at you in silence now. All right. Well, Dakota Johnson, it is an absolute pleasure to talk to you.

We have invited you here to play a game. And we are calling this game-- - Welcome to the Dakotas, Dakota.

Oh, God. We assume you were named. Yes! Yes! That is the attitude that we were hoping for. Oh, God. We don't know. We assumed you were named Dakota because of the natural beauty of South Dakota or maybe her sister state to the north. So we're going to ask you three questions about these other Dakotas. Answer two out of three correctly. You'll win our prize. The voice of anyone you might choose in your voice, ma'am.

All right, Bill, who is Dakota Johnson playing for? ANDREW SCOTT: Andrew Scott of Detroit, Michigan. BILL NYE: All right. Here's your first question.

Mitchell, South Dakota, as I'm sure you know, home of the world's only corn palace, right? Famous corn palace. The corn palace, which is not a palace made of corn, it's just called the corn palace, is such a beloved institution that which of these things really happened in 2004? A, when it caught fire, patrons in a nearby bar ran out and extinguished the flames with their beers.

B, in 2004, got a grant from the Department of Homeland Security to protect it from terrorists. Or C, the only question in the interview segment of that year's Myth South Dakota pageant was, why do you love the Corn Palace? I'm going to go with C, Peter. No, it was actually B. They got a grant from the Department of Homeland Security to protect the Corn Palace from terrorists because terrorists hate our freedom.

All right. All right. So maybe you've gone to Mitchell. You've seen the Corn Palace. You're looking for another fabulous tourist attraction in South Dakota. Well, you could go to which of these? A, the world's largest ball of dryer lint in Aberdeen, South Dakota. B, Highmore, South Dakota, statistically the most average town in America. Yeah.

Or C. Gettysburg, South Dakota, whose slogan is, Where the Battle Wasn't. Ooh. A. You're going to go for the world's largest ball of dryer lint. Yes.

I'm afraid it was C. It was Gettysburg, South Dakota. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm sorry. You could... I'm just going to say you could win it all. We're just going to make it all or nothing with this last question. Yeah. All or nothing. Game of the rules. I don't care. Did we make it so that if I lost two out of three, then I win?

Yes! Mathematically, that's the same thing at this point. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Sorry. North Dakota, of course, doesn't want to cede all the glory to its neighbor to the south, so which of these was a way that North Dakota once promoted its own highlights to the world? A, a contest that offered $1 million to anyone who could shake the hands of every resident of North Dakota. Yes.

B, a video game where in North Dakota is Carmen Sandiego? Or C, a government-produced romance novel in which a career woman from the big city finds love in the arms of a roofing contractor in Minot? Well, B made me laugh, so I'm going to choose that one. That's always the right thing to do, Dakota. Yes, that's the correct answer. The game was created by teachers...

In North Dakota, in honor of the well-known game series in 1997, and as far as anyone knows, only three copies of it now exist. But wouldn't she be easy to find since there's nothing there? Yeah. You just look for anything sticking up above the tree line, and it's probably Carmen Sandiego. Bill, how did Dakota Johnston do in our quiz? Well, Dakota got two out of three wrong, and this week that means she wins. Congratulations. Thank you.

Dakota Johnson is an actor, director, producer, and museum curator. She is also the voice of Cher Height in the new documentary, The Disappearance of Cher Height, which is out now, and I recommend highly. Dakota Johnson, thank you so much for joining us on Weathered Touch Home. Thank you so much for being with us. Take care. Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Very smart. Bye.

In just a minute, Bill reveals NPR's new strategy to conquer podcasting in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Adam Felber, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill has the rhyme of his life in our listener limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.

Adam, you know Squid Game, the Netflix hit. You remember that? I sure do. People playing very dangerous games. Oh, yes. Right? Well, they made a reality show based on it in which actual people play games and the contestants are suing because they think the games are to what?

- Tame. - No. - Dangerous. - Right. Like it's a surprise. Contestants on Squid Game: The Challenge allege that they were forced to stand motionless for hours and below freezing temperatures, resulting in, they say, hypothermia, other injuries. One complainant remarked that they did not, quote, "sign up for Survivor" or "naked and afraid," unquote. That's true. They signed up for a dystopian thriller in which hundreds of people are violently murdered and say to themselves, "Looks like fun!"

It's a reality show based on a show about a fake reality show. I mean, how far up our own butts have we disappeared? Actually, interestingly, you should say that, Adam, because that turned out to be one of the challenges in the show. The gastroenterology challenge? Yeah, which is why people complained about it. Adam, this is what happens when you writers go on strike. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Thank God you're back. Adam, last week, historians debunked another myth about Thanksgiving, citing evidence the first Thanksgiving did not happen in Plymouth, Massachusetts. They say it actually happened where?

On the moon. No. I don't think the first Thanksgiving ever happened, but... I'll give you a hint. If you decide to recreate this, do not feed any turkey to the alligators. Florida. Yes, in Florida. They say the first Thanksgiving happened in Florida. This would explain, if true, the tradition of eating Thanksgiving dinner at 4 p.m. They say that this...

Sort of Thanksgiving avant la lettre happened in Florida 56 years before the gathering between pilgrims and Native Americans in Massachusetts. Nobody talks about it because to celebrate that event in Florida, they did roast a dolphin. Oh, you made them say it. They made fun of the dolphin in a comedic fashion is what he means. Yes, exactly. At some point, can we just...

let go of the actual history of Thanksgiving and just say, "All right, listen, white folks were horrible. Let's have some turkey and watch football." Exactly. Why not? Alonzo, according to the Washington Post, professional dominatrixes online are getting more and more requests from clients who want to be humiliated, mocked, and punished for their what? I don't know, for their money? For their success? No, not quite.

Can you give me a hint? Yeah, they're sort of like bipartisan curious. Oh, for their political views? Exactly right. Apparently that's the latest kink. People want to be dominated and humiliated because of their political views. Republicans want to be mocked by Democrats. Democrats want to be mocked by Republicans. People will just pay top dollar to have Ron DeSantis stomp on them in his stiletto heels. LAUGHTER

Well, that'll make a nice movie. Yeah. Sexy movie. And what Peter Sagal will get out of it is, wow, that's a nice apartment. All right. Hold on. Yeah. All right. All right.

I don't know if you saw that apartment. It is the nicest apartment in the history of movies. I want to go back here. I want to rewind for a minute. So, you guys, you and Dakota Johnson were both giving me grief because I watched Fifty Shades of Grey and was like, oh, the production design is so lovely. What would you prefer I have complimented?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Peter, you took a shot. I did. I did. Wow. I'm being roasted like a dolphin at Thanksgiving.

Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago or come see us on the road. We'll be in New York City at Carnegie Hall on December 14th and 15th. For tickets and information for all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

My name is B. I'm calling in from Atlanta, Georgia. Hey there, B. So what do you do in Atlanta? I work in game presentation for the Hawks and the Falcons. Oh, wait a minute. Okay. When you say when you work in game presentation, what exactly does that mean?

So basically my department's the people in the control room putting the videos, graphics, audio, everything into the venue for the fans that came out to the game. So like the kiss cam, that's us. Wait a minute. You do the kiss cam? Yes. Do you actually, are you the person who actually like finds people who might be willing to kiss on the kiss cam and point your cameraman at them? Is that like you? Uh,

No, I mean, that's the director. I'm not that important yet, but maybe one day. Right. Well, Bea, welcome to the show. You, of course, are going to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks, so the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to play? Well, the stakes are so much higher than when I'm alone in my car, so I'm kind of nervous, but I'm ready. Let's do it.

Don't worry about it. We'll help you out. Here you go. Here is your first limit. On our podcast, we're not counting sheep. But on FCC Rules, we go deep. Your NPR dues just don't pay for news. We purposely put you to sleep. Yes, sleep. And what is either...

A brilliant innovation in programming or an admission of what we all knew all along, an NPR station in Texas is offering a podcast designed to put their listeners to sleep. Finally, an NPR program that isn't loud and action-packed. The show is called Marfa Public Radio Puts You to Sleep. It was originally titled Marfa Public Radio Puts You to Sleep, but this time intentionally.

And features, this is true, hosts with particularly soothing voices reading very dull documents like the 1967 Public Broadcasting Act NPR Style Guide and Susan Stamberg's Concert Tour Writer. I wonder if I can get that gig. Really? Just reading boring things? I got the voice. You got a mellifluous voice. I got the voice. Oh, for sure. I think I can go down and put people to sleep listening to NPR. People.

People love it. Any money in that? No, none whatsoever. What part of NPR? Here is your next limerick. In our friendly skies, Santa was slighted. And in first class, romance was ignited. It's a movie for you where some elves play our crew in a rom-com that's made by...

Hold on rhymes with slighted. Would you like to go and sit alone in your car? United United yes. Wow Nice figuring it out. United the airline has produced its own rom-com a movie called love in plain sight p-l-a-n-e It's the film that has critics raving that was really charming. But how do I use my oxygen mask? The story

It's a short film. It's about a couple who meet cute in the Denver airport when one spills coffee in the other and most of the zany plot that ensues is just spent dealing with the terrible, terrible burns. LAUGHTER

How much extra money do they have? How many airline services do they not give you so that they can play around and make movies? I was wondering why they stopped giving us Stroopwafels, and now I know where the money went. And I'm a little upset. That's one less peanut. I know. Give me a millimeter of knee room. Yeah. And keep your movies.

In response to United's rom-com, Spirit Airlines is preparing to release its own film, a cell phone video of two rats fighting. Now that I watch. But you have to pay extra to watch it when you're on Spirit Airlines. Here is your last limerick. In this rocket, our Mars journey lugs. We have soldier flies wrapped up real snug.

Soon the larvae will toil to improve Martian soil. To survive, we'll need to bring... Slugs? Slugs? Close enough. It's bugs is the answer, yeah. Slugs are a kind of bug, yeah. It turns out the movie The Martian was wrong. To grow food on Mars, we need more than soil, water, and the life-giving poop of Matt Damon.

We will need insects. So scientists are researching the right bugs to take to outer space with us. It'll be great to see the first astronauts step out of the capsule onto Mars covered in mosquito bites. That's rude. They're going to take the bugs out of space? They have to because you need insects to grow food. Researchers are looking at insects like the black soldier fly because their larva can eat human waste and turn it into plant fertilizer. The Martians are going to be like, these humans, they seem okay, but their pets are weird.

Well, that's the thing. You know, you're a Martian. You're living on another planet. Here come the humans, and they brought roaches. Yeah. No, you'll love them. They're great. Here, quick, turn on the light. Bill, how did Bea do in our quiz? She did great. Three in a row. You're a good sport, Bea. Congratulations. Well done, Bea. Thanks for having me on. Thanks.

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Now on to our final game, lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score? Joyelle has three, Adam has three, and Alonzo has two.

All right. Alonzo, you're going to be up first. Let's get this out of the way. Let's do it. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Making a rare public appearance, Blank attended the funeral of his wife, Rosalyn, on Tuesday. Jimmy Carter. Yes. After spending over two weeks in a collapsed tunnel, 41 construction workers in Blank were freed.

Oh, India? Right. With over 12 states reporting cases, vets say they still can't identify the respiratory disease affecting blanks. Dogs. I hate that. Me too. On Wednesday, Bob Iger confirmed he would be stepping down as CEO of blank in 2026. Apple? No, Disney. This week, a 10-year-old boy started a campaign to change Apple's nerdy emoji because it blanks.

Looks like him. Exactly right. His name is Teddy. He's a 10-year-old boy with glasses from England. He says Apple's nerdy emoji, quote, makes life absolutely horrible for people with glasses. And he started the petition to change it. An Apple spokesperson says that they were moved by the campaign and have agreed to change the name of the emoji to That Dweeb Teddy. LAUGHTER

Bill, how did Alonzo do in our quiz? Alonzo got five right for ten more points. Total of 12. Alonzo is in the lead. All right. I'm going to arbitrarily pick...

Adam to go next. Here we go. On Thursday, Hamas released eight more hostages to blank. Israel. Right. On Tuesday, Charles Koch announced he was supporting blank for president. Nikki Haley. Right. This week, blank announced plans to try to unionize employees at 13 non-union automakers. United Auto Works. Exactly. On Wednesday, Mark Cuban announced plans to sell his majority stake in the blanks. Dallas Mavericks. Right. This week, the Rolling Stones announced their next world tour would be sponsored by blank.

Pepsodent. No, but close. The AARP. On Thursday, the World Health Organization warned that climate change posed a substantial risk to the fight against blank...

COVID. No malaria. This week, a grandmother in New Zealand was fined over $3,000 after she was caught trying to smuggle blank into Australia. Candies. A chicken sandwich. Of course. Oh, I read about that. The woman bought the sandwich at the airport in New Zealand. She threw it in her bag, got on the flight, forgot about it until Australian customs removed it and slapped her with a $3,000 fine for the crime of importing agricultural meat products without a permit. Ooh.

All true. Meanwhile, the person sitting next to her in the flight who peeled and ate three hard-boiled eggs somehow got away scot-free. Yeah, that's an unindicted criminal right there. Okay. Bill...

How did Adam do in our quiz? Tried very hard. Four right, eight more points. But his 11 is one short of Alonzo's. All right. So then how many does Joyelle need to win? Five to win. Let's count them. Here we go, Joyelle. These questions seem like they're getting harder. Do it for me, Joyelle. Here we go. Okay, I'll do it for you. Here we go, Joyelle. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, a New York appeals court reinstated the gag order against blank. Donald Trump. Right. This week, a grand jury in Arizona charged two officials with delaying the certification of the 2020 blank.

Right. According to new data, U.S. blank expectancy rose by over a year in 2022. Life. Yes. On Wednesday, music streaming service Blank released their annual wrap-up. Spotify. Right. This week, a fight at a hockey game between the Florida Panthers and the Ottawa Senators resulted in Blank being suspended from the game. Justin Trudeau. No. Every single player on the ice. This week, Fox hosted a debate between California Governor Gavin Newsom and Florida's Blank.

Governor DeSantis? Right. On Thursday, University of Colorado Boulder head coach Blank was named Sports Illustrated's Person of the Year. I don't know sports questions. Deion Sanders. This week, former Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro found himself back in the news when he was caught on video harassing a blank. Reporter. No, harassing a humpback whale. What?

Bolsonaro is facing investigations for misappropriating funds, faking vaccination records, and plotting a coup. He got into even more trouble when he was filmed harassing a humpback whale while riding around on his jet ski. That's illegal in Brazil. After watching the video, marine experts all agreed that whales really need to get to work on how to smash jet skis. Bill, did Joelle do well enough to win? She got five right. Ten more points. Thirteen wins. There you go! Yay, Joelle!

That game makes me so nervous. It does. Congratulations, Joyelle. Thank you. Coming up, our panelists predict, now that the Golden Bachelor is done, what will be the next hit reality show, especially for seniors. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Aircraft Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Philip Godekar-Reyes, our limericks, our public address announcer is

is Paul Friedman, our tour manager, Shayna Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Vinnie Thomas and Monica Hickey. Our AI singer is Peter Gwindiana. Our vibe curator is Emma Choi. Tactical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock, and the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike Danforth. Now panel, what will be the next hit show for seniors?

Adam Felber.

Golden survivor with the tagline, only one can survive, but honestly, for how much longer? And Alonzo Bowden. The Golden Hip, a sports show for people with fake hips, fake knees, fake elbows. You've got to have fake something. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Adam Felber, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, Alonzo Bowden. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studebaker Theater.

Thanks to all of you for listening at home. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor ShipBob. The holidays start earlier every year, so get your store and ship shape now with ShipBob. They'll handle fulfillment, provide key metrics, and more. Get a free quote at shipbob.com. ShipBob.

This message comes from NPR sponsor Capital One. The Capital One VentureX business card earns unlimited double miles on every purchase. Capital One. What's in your wallet? Terms and conditions apply. Find out more at CapitalOne.com slash VentureXBusiness. The Constitution, our founding document, says a lot about how our country has evolved and who we want to be. But it's not set in stone.

So for the next month, we'll be digging into the history behind some of its most pivotal amendments. Listen to We the People on the ThruLine podcast from NPR.