A Conversation with Lesley Wake Webster
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Ring, ring, ring, ring. May I please speak with Zoe? Oh, hello, Lamorne. Let's patch in Hannah. God, I forgot what it was like working with you guys. Welcome to our show. Welcome to our show. Hello, everybody, and welcome to welcome to our show.

I'm Zooey Deschanel. We're here with Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone. And we have a wonderful writer, producer, Leslie Wake Webster with us, who was with us for our first season. Unfortunately, we only got her for...

Okay.

I was not living that amazing 20-something lifestyle that we were writing about. So you quit. But you had been there. I had been there. I had lived some fun times, but they were far away, and I was driving to work in a minivan. Just because you like minivans, right? Like Danny DeVito and Get Shorty? Yeah. Oh, you have children?

I do. I do. I'm not going to lie to you. That would be a little bit weird if you had a minivan and didn't have children.

Danny DeVito and Gatshorty. That's what you are. Then you kill people for a living. I know. Tons of candy in that. Or you're a movie star who's unique and quirky, right? Does Danny DeVito actually, but not in real life. No, no, no. The character he plays in Gatshorty has a minivan. And then he loves it so much that he gets everyone else to buy minivans because he's so convincing. Mm-hmm.

about the minivan I drive a minivan I used to drive a minivan I drove a Ford One Star no my mom had a minivan and then my car died on me yeah so she got a new car and said you can take the minivan let me tell you something

women do not respond to a guy in minivan. Think you're a serial killer. She didn't like that you could open, that you could do hands-free slide open the back door. That hands-free. Let me tell you something. Pretty nice. I had a minivan for one year. Actually, while I was on New Girl, because I had two babies, I

um while i was on new girl and i had to i ended up getting rid of it because it was just too wide it was like i can't drive this car it's so it's such a wide load like it just i was like felt like i was clipping the um side view mirrors all the time on things so it had to go now yes so leslie you left us

You left us. Well, let's start from the beginning. How did you come to us before you abandoned us? Oh, sure. Well, I think about halfway through season one of New Girl, there had been a couple staff changes. A couple people had left and...

even getting the meeting on new girl was like the hot, hot thing in town. And everyone was talking about the show. And I had a writer friend who worked on it, Donna Carrie, who I think was there for maybe three years. Yeah. And I called Donnick and I was like, everyone around town says this show is amazing and that you guys don't sleep. Is that true? And he was like, yes. And yes. Yeah.

And I was just so thrilled. It was such an exciting show and it's so different from anything else. And so my agent was like, hey, you know, 20th wants you to meet on this. They're looking for a couple upper level women writers.

And, you know, just be warned. It seems like the show works long hours. And I so desperately wanted to meet on the show that I was like, yes, yes, I can do it. And like it turned out, guys, I couldn't do it at all. I physically could not handle the hours. Well, it was tough. I mean, our like hours on set were tough. And then your hours in the writing room were equally as tough. It was. Yeah, it was. It was like a marathon. The first three hours.

ish years and then it did get a little bit better but the hours were still like if we worked a 12 hour day I was like whoo short day that's so nice like I'm out of the you know like I got out you know in 12 hours I felt like I was like I have energy to do four more hours just because I got so accustomed to working 16 hours

I would do half days in the writer's room when the one episode that I did write. Well, you were also acting in the show. Even that was just brutal. I said, what else could I write on this whiteboard, guys? What are we doing here? I mean, just jokes after jokes after jokes for so, so long. So I definitely commend you on that. I don't commend you on leaving us, but... Well, it was...

It was like walking into a party that was just like a party that had been going on for several weeks. Like I remember my first day on set, we were at...

Gosh, we were on location. Justin Long was guest starring. There was a table read on location. And I showed up at like eight in the morning. I was like, oh, this is going to be cool. And I think our day went till two that night. It was just. Oh my goodness. That would be about right. Yeah. Just about right. Was that the Thanksgiving episode? That sounds very Thanksgiving. There was definitely a holiday element to it. That was the craziest episode of shooting. You got thrown in the deep end.

ever done because we were I think we were behind on writing we were behind on some episodes we had to shoot pickups for other episodes that week and they and the I think the studio had said we want lots of coverage and our director that episode who was awesome Miguel Arteta was like I take you seriously I'm gonna get three cameras we had like we were always setting up three cameras which is not normal we'd normally have two cameras I

And but three cameras. And then we were doing a lot of coverage in addition to the fact that we had three cameras. Like, I mean, we're moving those cameras a lot. So we went to six in the morning on Sunday morning. Yeah. Because I had a flight. I had a flight at 830 a.m. on Sunday to go to Canada. And I remember whoever was aiding that episode coming up to me saying, I don't think you're making the flight.

And I was like, what? How is that possible? So you showed up for the most intense New Girl episode of all time. It was very intense, but it was very exciting. It was fun. I mean, in spite of the fact that it was crazy.

Yeah, you could just tell there was something really like magical happening on stage. But also everyone was kind of in this crazy, vaguely sleep deprived state. And the entire time I was on the show, I just continued. Vaguely? That I take issue with. I'm pretty sure there was no vague about the sleep. Yeah, that's why I developed my love for coffee or my addiction to coffee was during that first season.

Yeah. Because you didn't drink coffee before. No. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours. BPM 110, 120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not.

What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

In a world where TikTok didn't exist yet, las películas no tenían color. The comedy of a genio mexicano crossed borders y conquistó the heart of America. Da, da, da!

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That I've said like in my head for like 16 years. Wild. Listen to Misspelling on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Cheaters and Backstabbers. I'm Shadi Diaz. And I'm Kate Robards. And we are New York City stand-up comedians and best friends. And we love a good cheating and backstabbing story. Oops.

So this is a series where our guests reveal their most shocking cheating stories. Join us as we learn how to avoid getting our hearts broken or our back slashed. Listen to Cheaters and Backstabbers on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. So wait, Leslie, you came in halfway-ish through first season, stayed to the end, and left. But while you were there...

You contributed something to this show that has become iconic. Yeah. Almost as iconic as the show itself. As the show itself. An obsession among fans. So tell us how you...

Tell us about the origins of True American. I am so glad that I contributed one very cool thing to the show. It makes me very happy. The origins of True American are weird. So it's actually not a game that I played. It's a game that a friend of mine played, a guy who went to Vassar. So already an interesting guy. And...

I can't remember which parts of True American I knew about at the time and which parts I've learned more about since. So I can't give you the exact chronological timeline of what I knew when, but here is the origin of True American. My friend Matt, who went to Vassar, he and several friends were in this dorm that had kind of, he described as a 1960s Ramada Inn vibe. Like it was partly curved so that like when you walked around, it's like if you were drunk, you'd be like, where am I? Yeah.

And every day on the Sun Vassar evidently is a very like sort of, you know, Ivy League looking old school. But there's this one very modern dorm. And in this dorm, there's a lounge and the lounge had like raised floors and a sunken seating pit.

So there was like a very 1960s, almost like spaceship vibe to it. I love that. And there were three different like ways you could access the seating pit. And they got this, they created this game called True American. And it was like,

kind of ironic it was sort of in honor of like american gladiator like kind of making fun of how ridiculous that was um and the object of true american there was one guy who was was american but my friend matt says he had a very euro vibe his name was renee and renee had a very euro vibe and he has a euro name yeah i feel it i feel it by euro do we mean like euro club vibe or like like old school

No, Euro Club. Like black turtlenecks, bodybuilding, craft work type music. Call me Euro. Yeah.

Okay, so he has a Euro vibe. Yeah, Euro vibe. And evidently, part of the game, before they would play it, they would go outside and sing a song in the courtyard to announce that they were playing True American. Because the courtyard had, because it was a semicircle, it had great acoustics, and the song would kind of echo around and annoy everyone who was trying to study.

And then they would also make wagers on who got to like who if you lost true American, what dumb thing you had to do.

And that was all sort of part of the ritual of True American. And then the actual game of True American was not about drinking. It was about getting from one side of the lounge to the other and breaking through a cardboard barrier that had been set up. So there would be like three or four guys going up against Rene because he was the bodybuilder. And they would just try to get from one side of the lounge to the other. And I think you weren't supposed to touch the floor, which might be how we got to the floor is lava in the writer's room.

And I always assumed that True American had been a drinking game, but I think I assumed that because I learned about it while I was drunk. This explains a lot. Yeah, because I just called my buddy in preparation for talking to you guys. I was like, hey, can you just remind me how you play True American? And at the end of it, I was like, wait, so it wasn't a drinking game? And he's like, no.

It was not a drinking game. Renee, don't drink. This is a serious athletic sport. Right. This is so different from... You know, what's so cool about the evolution of True American as a part of New Girl was that

They brought this in on another episode that was shooting very long hours and was a bit chaotic. I'm pretty sure it was like the Fancy Man episode maybe. Was it Jesse Peretz directing? But I do remember that Love Rock K was on set and he's like, there's this game, True American, and it's this game that they played in college. The guys played in college.

And it was written into the script like a series of kind of quick cuts, like things happening. And there was a lot of room for us to make up stuff. So we did. And I remember myself making up being like, OK, what if we said one, two, three, four JFK? And then the other people said FDR. And then we had you. Yeah, that was me. Yes, that was me. That was. Yeah, I remember that because I didn't know anything about politics. Yeah.

And then the George Washington cherry tree was also me because...

Weirdly, it's too convoluted, but I was like, what if we also said George Washington Cherry Tree? And for some reason, everyone went along with me. Well, you're the only one who knew about U.S. history. I actually love U.S. history, so it was fun for me to just be able to put a few little nerdy things in there. I love that. But yeah, it was like we were allowed to do a lot of improvisation to make the game a weird thing.

Even when we were shooting, I remember while we were shooting that, hey, you know what? I don't actually need to remember anything continuity-wise. I'll just do whatever. Remember where you were. No, I don't think I will. And it didn't matter. It didn't matter at all. It didn't matter at all. Just remember the floor is lava. And whenever she says JFK, we scream FDR. FDR.

And the idea was to make it like intentionally opaque so that no one would figure out how to play it. That like you'd think it'd be one thing. And then and then there are all these rules that make no sense that that we don't even really know the answer to because it's supposed to be a mystery to the audience. And to I believe it was Russell Fancy Man is coming in and he's like, wait, what is this game? These people, these 28 year olds are playing.

So I think it was intentionally vague and then it just stayed intentionally vague. And then all these people wanted to play it. And we were like, we don't know how to play it. You're the only one, you and Renee. So there was no historical.

American history angle to the original true American. That was Zoe's addition and infusion. Who knew? I really thought that that was the root of the game. There were no lines really written in it. The original, it was originally in the script, it was like

them shotgunning is that what you call it i remember they always know what shotgunning is no i had never heard of it until we did until we started well so i started shooting new girl i was like wait she'd be shotgunning on private planes no all right you started a narrative um lamar and that is untrue okay

Okay. And I didn't know what shotgunning was. Um, cause I get, I would get drunk after one beer. So if I like, why would I want to drink it fast? Bad idea. Bad idea on my part. Um,

So yeah, I didn't know what that was. It was just like they shotgun beers. They're trying the floor is lava. They're trying to avoid being on the floor. It was just kind of more stage direction. And then I think it was Jesse directing. I don't remember. Please don't quote me on any of this. We're going to have to go back. I want to say it was. I think it was episode normal. And I think it was Jesse. Was it normal? Okay. Joelle just dropped in the chat. True American first appeared in season one, episode 20, normal.

normal and Jesse directed it I just remember because the way Jesse works he likes to like let everybody have you know some wine no let everybody have a little you know he's like oh yeah just kind of like you know have fun with it so he was kind of letting us

gave us some, you know, a little bit of freedom to do stuff. So that's where the... Wait, Leslie, was that your episode? Did you write that episode? No, that was not my episode. I think Love wrote the draft on that episode. And I mean, truly, I told this story late at night in the writer's room.

uh, love took the inspiration, wrote something. And then I really feel that true American was created on the stage in the moment. Uh, by the time it came back in the cut, it's like, this is an amazing game. And it had that kind of mythical feel that all drinking games have when you're, you sober up and you're like,

How did we play that? I don't quite remember. So you have teenage kids? I have teenage kids now, and God, I hope they never play a game like True American. Yeah, you know, you are the originator. Would that be shady of you to say they couldn't play? That's kind of messed up. You gotta let them play. It was funny, like, I remember Love trying to explain it, because apparently it came from you late at night, and like, him trying to explain it secondhand, and then

like just, it was like a game of telephone that created the new girl version of true American. Yeah.

So you know about the origins of it. You were there from the origins of the OG game. But you heard of it. So it was like a game of telephone for you, too. Yeah. The whole thing was very much like in real life when you're like, oh, I heard of this drinking game. My friends play this drinking game. And it just keeps changing and changing depending on who's telling who about it. So here's the question. Have Matt and Renee...

like seeing the show and do they know that they are actually, I know. No, I told Matt last night, I was like, Hey, listen, I'm, I'm going to talk about this game that I stole from you and your college experience on a podcast. And it was the first he knew about it. So funny.

And by the way, I was like, I'm happy to pass along his phone number. I was like, they may want to interview you. Oh, we might. We might. Oh, absolutely. That would be great. That would be great. So, Leslie, you're so talented. What are you working on now? What's going on with Leslie Wayne Webster now?

I'm on Mr. Mayor, which is a Tina Fey, Robert Carlock show. And the only reason I'm working on it is because they always do their New York shows. But because of the pandemic and Zoom, this was my first chance to work with them. And it was. Oh, wow. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like as a writer, it's almost like, you know how you go around Disneyland and get like your little passport stamped or signed by different characters? Mm hmm.

As a writer, like especially a writer who staffs on shows, which is mostly what I do, there are certain like showrunners or shows you're just like, I want to work on this. I went like, I wanted to work on New Girl and I got my little passport stamp for that. I had very much wanted to work for Robert and Tina for forever and I just got the chance. So...

And you've worked with Hannah. You've worked with Hannah before. Yes. Hannah and I worked so hard last year to sell a brilliant idea that nobody wanted. Nobody wanted it. It's rough out there right now. I feel like it's a tough time to pitch shows. Yeah, it was at the height of COVID. It just had broken. So the industry was...

In a different spot. Let's put it that way. Yeah. But listen, you've worked on like really iconic show, like American dad and life in pieces and a show you created. I did. I created. Yes. Perfect harmony with Bradley Whitford and Anna camp, which was just. Very good cast. And you did that with Jason Weiner, who is, you know, like an awesome director. Yeah. I think I might've first come across Jason when he was directing a new girl and

That was my question. Did you develop that relationship because you've worked with Weiner on so much stuff through New Girl? Well, that was the very first time I met him. And then it made it easier. I was then, you know, Jason has always had a pilot that was going somewhere. So then it was easier to get meetings on the pilots that Jason was directing. And then I think Life in Pieces, he was an EP on that. So we developed a relationship there.

And I really found him, he was one of those rare people who can, he helps the writers he works with tell a better story. Yeah. He's very- He's really like, he's uniquely talented in terms of like, he has his own style that is-

very good at like establishing a story and quickly like, like telling an intricate story, you know, in a way that's like fits in 22 minutes. Yes. He has that magical touch for pilots. It's really incredible. But I, yeah, when I talked to Weiner about that idea, he was like, there's one person, she's the best and she's incredible. And she's mine.

I only want to work with Leslie. So that's how, yeah, we reconnected, which was really nice. I know. I so, I wanted our show to go so badly, Hannah. And I mean, obviously because it was a great show and also because I just think it would be so funny. Like Hannah and I are both very tall ladies and Jason is, is not a tall person. Wait, Hannah, Hannah's actually not tall. I,

I think he was tall. What are you, Hannah? She's not. We're the same height. They made Hannah wear heels for like the first, like big heels for the first, however, five seasons because they wanted her to look like she was taller than me. So she was always having to stand like on an apple box. Wait, how tall are you?

Me? We're 5'5", right? 5'5", 5'6", 5'5 1⁄2", something like that. Well, what about you, Leslie? Oh, my gosh. I'm 6 feet tall. Hannah has a tall personality. Hannah is the same height as me. And yeah, Zoe, I think of you as very petite. Really short. I know. Everyone thinks I'm 5'2". They're like, but you're 5'2". I'm like, no. Everybody thinks I'm 5'10". I am 6'4".

That's weird. That's cute. I don't think so. That just goes to show. I'm the sweetest man alive. Oh, look at that. That goes to show the lies that can happen when you're just like basically digitally dating, which is what Leslie and I did for a year developing this show, where we only met on FaceTime. You thought I was like a 5'10 model. I did. You've never met in person?

I know. Oh my God. It was the full pandemic developing a show. So we just did everything over FaceTime. I did an entire, I did, I have not, I wrote a show last year that we pitched and didn't go. And my writing partner and I basically didn't,

see each other the entire time we were writing and the entire time we were pitching. And I ran away to Canada too. I did your writing partner a cat, Lamorne? Yeah, me and my writing partner, Ferguson. Meow meow? Meow meow Jenkins. That's his nickname. My daughter asked if somebody, like, my friend was talking about his wife and then she goes, is she a cat? The other day and I was dying. I'm like, oh.

oh my god and and he's like no no she's not a cat and i was like oh okay just checking

- Just checking, I thought she might be a cat. - So coming from New Girl, I know you spoke about the long hours and some of the things you didn't expect. You were pre, you were pre, you were warned a little bit by Donnick, but that experience kind of, you kind of jumped right into it and you were in the fire. When you left, did you have a, did you learn anything from the show going into your new shows? - Were you relieved to be on another show that didn't go down terrible?

We were like, thank God. I was relieved to not try to keep up that physical pace. It really felt like it was undoable. Olympics. Some might say Olympics. Yes. But also like a weird Hunger Games Olympics where people are just dying as it goes along. I thought that was going to be me at one point. We felt the same way as a cast. Trust me. It wasn't...

I remember, where was it? I was at an award show and I kept seeing people and they were like, we've heard about your show.

And I was like, what? And they're like, we know the hours are crazy. Like writers, actors, like everyone. And the only other show that worked as crazy hours was Community. Yes. Yes, that's true. And those are the only people I've worked with some community alums and they can top New Girl. They'll be like, I had a 36 hour day. And it's like, okay, I don't think we ever had that. But yeah. Yeah. I think it's crazier. I think they just got really behind and our show, we were just,

they were just wanting like an overabundance of jokes. Yeah. Well, I remember I, a takeaway from new girl that I had was, it was like, I, I really did learn to be a better joke writer because we would alt every single line. Uh,

And I remember thinking at first, like, this is a little nuts, but like these lines are already good. That was the interesting part was that the scripts were already pretty good. And then we rewrote them as if they were disasters that needed saving and they weren't. But it did mean that I learned to pitch, you know, 20 lines for every joke that existed and everything.

we would rewrite in final draft and the rewrite program would do the alt says blue because it was in revision mode. And in the writer's room, we had this weird little cult saying of blue is true. Blue is true because we're just trying to generate blue lines on the screen. And I remember at one point there was a, this might be in the episode of one of the fancy man episodes, but there's, there's a party going on at the loft and the,

The line was, Nick's making Mai Tais. And we got to that line and we were like, are we really going to alt this? And I think Brett or Dave was like, yeah, we are. And so the writer's assistant looked up like a bartending dictionary and just cut and pasted like...

10 pages of other drinks that could come after like Nick's making Mai Tais. And then I happened to be on stage when that was being shot next to Liz and I watched the dawning, Liz Merriweather, the creator, I watched the dawning realization on her face. And she was like, did they just cut and paste every single drink that exists? I was like, yes, that is exactly what we did. Oh my God. That's very funny. Yeah.

You said in the beginning, let's say I just want to circle back for a second, how the show came to you as they were looking for high level female writers. Yeah. This was now 10 years ago. Was that like a, a common request that was coming through? That, that honestly has been my entire career. Uh, and I really hope it's changing. Um, there in comedy, it's, it used to be, it was like, it felt like it was about 80% men, 20% women. Um,

I really, really do think that is changing now. But at the time, if like I used to be the diversity. Now, that wasn't true on New Girl. New Girl had other female writers. But a lot of the jobs that I had in the first 10 years of my work were just like, we got to get a gal in here. Yes. Yes. I had just got to get a gal so she knows how gals talk. Yes.

I had just come from American Dad and it was 17 guys and me. I was the one voice of femaldom. And I got the rep sweats. Like, that's a lot to represent all of womankind. You better not mess up. Yeah, don't mess up. Don't get one shot. Yeah. Don't get one shot.

So I think they did need upper level writers. And I think the thought was like, hey, it's a show about a girl. So maybe there should be a woman. Yeah. Right. We did have a lot of female writers, which was very it's it's reassuring as a female. Because, you know, there are guys, you know.

how to write a female, but you know, you want representation. Who wrote that Menzies episode? I was about to say Menzies, a whole episode about menstruation. You might want a couple of ladies on that. Wasn't that...

I would die if it was love. It was Berkeley. It was Berkeley. Was it? I know about the female anatomy. Well, it was interesting because it was all about menstruation, but it was also about Lamorne's character. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is what all women secretly wish, which is like, just do it for one day, man. I'll tell you what, man. I'll tell you what, whenever I'm in a relationship. Kim Rosenstock. That's who it was. Kim Rosenstock. Oh, that makes sense. Hannah, I'll tell you, whenever I'm in a relationship and my partner is going through the menstrual cycle, I sympathize with her so much that I feel that pain too.

I'm sure you do. I'm sure you've asked her to rush your feet. You're just an empath, Lamorne. You're such an empath. It's the same level. Same level of pain. Yeah, I'm sure. It's hard to be a narcissist and an empath, but you really do know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be honest with you. She wasn't a narcissist, but I was an empath. So I get what you're saying. I like how you refer to the singular woman now.

You dated multiple women. They all have had it every month. Yeah. No, some of them didn't. Some of them didn't. But yeah. Those were boys. Yeah, yeah. Cute though. Cute. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session. 24 hours. BPM 110.

120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.

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And his catchphrases are part of our culture, but...

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I did a poll because I was really curious to know if my followers are just as excited and if people are like,

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Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling, as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage. I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is.

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Should we dive into Nick's Box? Nick's Box. Yes. Let's dive into Nick's Box. Oh, my goodness. Sounds weird, doesn't it, Leslie? It does. It's a little scary sounding, but also intriguing. Yeah. Nick's Box is a thing that we do. Who wants to talk about it? I can do it. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Go all the way. All right.

Welcome back to the segment we like to call Nick's Box. It's where we crawl into the back of Nick's closet and we pull out the memories, the memories that the cast and crew have kept hidden for years. So, Leslie, what is your favorite memory from your time working on New Girl?

Ooh, my favorite memory is a very writer room specific memory, which is that we was a late, late, late in the season and we had gotten a little crazy with alting jokes. So and we were just spending like 14 hours a day sitting at the table in front of the same screen. So to mix it up, we set up computers all around the office.

And they all had the script on them. And each computer had a different chunk of the script on them. And we sat down and one of the writer's assistants would shout, go. And for five minutes, each person would alt as many variations on the jokes that were in front of them as they could. And then the writer's assistant would shout, switch. And we'd get up and you'd run to the next office and you'd start alting those jokes. Wow.

Oh my God. I did not know. That's a true joke writing exercise. And at the end of, you know, like an hour we had, we generated like 20 pages of alts and it was just, just like a way to create some variety in the day. I think the other people in the office hated it. It was chaotic. It was loud, but it was fun. It was just a way to kind of mix it up.

I mean, that sounds like true American. Yeah, I was going to say, it sounds like a college drinking game, but without the drinking and without the college. Oh, my God.

I will also say, Zoe, I guess it must have been the Valentine's episode that I worked on, but you were so kind to me. I had told you that I had little kids. I had a kindergartner and a preschooler at the time. And you brought in a Winnie the Pooh CD because you had composed on that soundtrack. Oh, that's so sweet. And it was so sweet and thoughtful of you. Well, it's sweet of you to remember that. Yeah.

I have a preschooler and a kindergartner right now. Oh, my gosh. You better go record something, Leslie, and come and drop a CD after her. I'm expecting...

You'd return the paper. I only thought it's stuff to entertain my children. Deep in that hundred acre wood. Yep. So we thought, Leslie, because you were the one who brought the incredible True American game to New Girl, that it made sense, we don't usually do this with our guests, but to play True American with you on the podcast.

So should we go? We'll ramp up the intro to the game. Am I going to have to stand on my chair here? I'll read the intro to this game. We are doing on our podcast. So you understand it's not a drinking game on the podcast at the moment. Unless you have coffee and then it's allowed. That's right. Coffee, water. And so we kind of, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll ramp it up for you and you'll, you'll get it. All right. All right.

Welcome to True American, where the rules don't make any sense and you leave more confused than when you arrived. Today, we're playing Obama's favorite quotes list. We're going to read some of the most iconic lines from season one. And then guess who said the line? OK. Oh, great. This is going to be fantastic. I know. I know. OK.

I'm a little drunk and I can't be too sure, but I think you're about to see your best friend's penis. Okay. What's your guess? Is that me? I think that might be me. It's definitely not Nick and it's not Schmidt. So it's one of the three of us. I think it's Winston saying it to Max. Yeah. Schmidt about Nick. That's my guess. What's your guess, Leslie? Ooh, I was going to say, I think it's Schmidt, but...

Zoe's ruled that out, so I don't know. By the way, for a moment, I thought, because this quote came up in the chat, I literally thought that was your producer, Joelle, just saying, I'm a little drunk and I can't be sure. Leslie, are you going to show us? Not okay? Yeah, it might not be me because of the... At least in season one, we didn't have... You couldn't say? Well, they did like...

switch it around like toward the end of the season all of a sudden Jess is just saying it all the time but the beginning they definitely didn't have me say it a lot so we're going with Winston

Okay, Winston, you're correct, Hannah. I couldn't answer that because I knew it was me. You looked confused the entire time we were talking. Well, I just remember the point of that episode. I just remember it being, why do you want to see his penis? Right, it was a big deal. All right, Lamar, you want to read the next one? I wish there was a word that meant complete satisfaction and complete self-loathing.

That feels Schmitty to me. That feels so like Nick Miller to me. Ooh, and I was going to say Jess. So I think I might be really bad at this game. I think it's Schmitt because I just don't see Nick saying...

Oh, self-loathing. It just feels like... I feel like Schmidt would know the word. It feels like a big word. Maybe you're right. I don't know. I feel like Schmidt would actually know that word. Yeah, that's true. My guess is still going to be Schmidt, but I don't know. Who knows? I'm going to guess Nick.

Oh, it's Cece talking about... Oh. It's Cece talking about sleeping with Schmidt. Actually, now it makes perfect sense. It makes sense. Because I was like, it's more articulate than Nick. Yeah, right. But it doesn't feel 100% like Schmidt, but it felt more like Schmidt than Nick. Okay, cool. I knew it wasn't me. All right, okay. Next.

Know this. You're not the only one that's hurting here, Jessica Day. The economy stinks. Bees are dying. Movies are pretty much all sequels. So we can rule out Jessica Day. It's not Jessica Day. I don't think it's it's not Winston. I don't think.

It's not Cece. Who's upset with bees dying? It's either Nick or Schmidt. What do you think, Leslie? I'm going to go with Schmidt because of the bees. Yeah. And the economy. I feel like Schmidt's the only one concerned with the economy. Yeah. And it also feels like it feels like except paranoid. Nick is concerned with the economy. Unless unless it's Jessica Day talking to herself.

It's not. But I think that it, I agree. I think it's Schmidt because it's like, has a lot of runway for a short like line. He, I feel like, like they always wrote Schmidt lines, like wordier than, so let's guess Schmidt. I'm going to guess Schmidt. Correct. Okay. All right. Lucky guess. Yeah.

Last one, Zoe, go. Okay. I want friends who still lie to me because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I sadly kind of mean that. That's me. Gotta be Jess. That's Jess. It does sound like Jess. Especially the tag at the end feels very...

I sadly kind of mean that feels very wrong. It's outside Dave. Okay. Well, I could have said that. That was a speech in the episode where you didn't give us any Jess lines. That feels unfair. Joel. That was the trick of the whole thing.

That shows why Nick and Jess were meant to be. They had an interchangeable... That was my first episode on the show, I want to say. The thing that Jess and Nick have in common that Jake and I have in common is that we are both not fast talkers. And it's difficult for me to...

talk really fast like how you know Max can talk really fast my rhythm is slower and Jake's rhythm is slower and so we both would commiserate because they'd be like faster and I'd be like I literally can't stop coming out of my mouth just like I'll talk like fast and then slow and fast and then slow but I can't get everything out fast I have to try hard so when you see me actually talking really fast on the show you know that took a lot of work for me and you need to love me more

Leslie, you are an absolute delight. Oh, this is so fun. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for letting me participate. It's so fun to see you again. And I feel like, Leslie, we will need to get Matt and Renee's phone number because as this show goes on, there will be True American Questions. And now we can go to the source. You can go to the source. Yeah, but it's not going to be the same...

True America. It's going to be a different. But it'll still be. But if people want to know how to play like a more physical version. We just have to make sure that we have all of this information and now we know where to go. Thanks, Leslie. One late night led to this huge moment for our show and for this show.

It was great talking with you all. Thank you. Thank you, Leslie. All right, folks, make sure you guys like and subscribe. Like and subscribe because Lamorne wants you to. And me. And Hannah. We all do. We do. It's one thing we agree upon. That's right. Exactly. We love you. Sleep well, guys.

Unless you just woke up. Drive safely. Drink some coffee, drink some tea, have a matcha. On me. On me. Really? It's brought to you by Alfred's Coffee. You just throw your Venmo up there, Lamar? Yeah. No, I will buy every listener a cup of coffee. No, don't say that. Why would you say that? It's going to be really expensive, Lamar. I didn't tell them what kind of coffee.

Yeah, but still it could get expensive. It could get expensive. It costs money. Yeah. Guys, the sponsor will pay for it. Okay.

I'll say I do it. I'll buy it. But then we really know the sponsor is doing it. Dunkin' Donuts. We have to get a coffee sponsor. You're creating a lot of work right now. Yeah. I'm out. Throwaway moment. I'm not in on this. Hannah and Zoe want to buy you a coffee today. No, we don't. They want to buy you a car today. No, we don't. No, we don't. We do not. Nope. They want to buy you a piece of real estate. The smallest piece of real estate.

I would like to wish her happiness, peace, comfort. All the new happiness in as much as this episode and other episodes can bring you happiness. Bye. You've been listening to Welcome to Our Show, a New Girl recap podcast. Welcome to Our Show is a production of iHeartRadio, hosted by Zooey Deschanel, Lamorne Morris, and Hannah Simone. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique.

Our engineer and editor is Daniel Goodman. The Welcome to Our Show theme song was written by Zooey Deschanel, performed and produced by Zooey Deschanel and Pierre Derrida. Follow us on Instagram at WelcomeToOurShowPod. If you have a question you'd like us to answer, you can email us at WelcomeToOurShowPodcast at gmail.com. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share far and wide. Thanks for listening. We'll hear you next week. Welcome to Our Show.

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Welcome to the CINO Show. I'm your host, Cino McFarlane. I'm an addiction specialist. I'm a coach. I'm a translator. And I'm God's middleman. My job is to crack hearts and let the light in and help everyone shift the narrative. I want to help you wake up and I want to help you get free. Most importantly, I don't want you to feel alone. Listen to the CINO Show every Wednesday on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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