309: Longest Night Ever
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Come on. One of the most memorable for me episodes ever. The longest night ever. We have no time to mess around on the mess around. Let's dive right in. Tell us about it. Okay, so in this episode, Coach sends Schmidt into an absolute frenzy when he asks CeCe out

On a date. What? Not knowing that Schmidt would do everything in his power to stop the date from happening, Nick tasks Jess with having to babysit Schmidt all night. I think we know how that ends up. Meanwhile, after leaving the window open, Nick is now forced to help Winston find an escaped Ferguson. This leads them to the house of an overly sexual bus driver named Bertie.

who found Ferguson under the trash eating a dead raccoon's eyeball. Oh my gosh. This was one of those insane episodes. We're going to go to break. When we come back, we're going to let you know who's responsible for this BS.

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Plus, I can get cashback offers within the app from brands like DoorDash, Sephora, and Instacart. Download the new PayPal app, sign up, and start earning 5% cashback today. Don't just pay. PayPal. Terms and limits apply. See paypal.com slash rewards pal. Cashback earned as points redeemable for cash and other options on up to $1,000 spend per month. The PayPal debit MasterCard is issued by the Bancor Bank N.A., pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated and may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted.

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Jasanovic. Jasanovic. That's what I said. I just said I had to. I was inhaling and exhaling at the same time. That's what I said. The writer, it's Ryan Coe. That's Ryan Coe. Ryan Coe. There we go. Boom. Here we go. Hannah, let's dive into this thing. Let's dive in. So we start. Jess asks if Nick wants to stay in for date night because you know what that means.

watch Homeland. Sex on the couch. I mean, obviously a date night has an implication. Yeah. That you're going to watch Homeland. That probably would be also me. I'd be like, what show are we going to be doing that time? Homeland was like, boom. And every, like the creator of Homeland came to New York to the new girl set once we were all, we were all big on Homeland during this time. Yeah. It was an incredible show. Claire Danes.

Clayton, Damian Lewis. Winston tells Nick that the many thinking Winston tells Nick that that last night while he was in the shower at Ferguson, he had an epiphany that he needs to get back into the game and meet some women, the human kind of women. And he wants Nick to babysit. My takeaway from that moment was that Winston found it to be very, very normal.

to shower with his cat. The fact there's no wet cat joke, I applaud you because I'm sure you tried. Number two, I also... So I pulled up the script for this. I'm looking at this right now because...

The original line, okay? And they dropped this last part. And I have a feeling it's because of how much you enjoyed saying it. I can't believe they wrote it for you, which is like, right, last night when Fergus and I were in the shower, I had an epiphany. It's time to get back in the game, meet some women, human women, not cat women, women with titties. They wrote that in the script. And I think...

you probably delivered it with so much joy because they wrote for you and they were like we can't put it in that man is laughing so hard so funny I remember that that's crazy that they wrote that the other thing is is the end of the pill situation it's only written right it just goes is it mouth pills or butt pills and as scripted it's written pill just one pill

And then you improvised. Pill. Just one butt pill. You put the butt pill in. And then you tried to hand the cat to Nick, also not in the script, because I'm sure you're like, please. And I love how Jake went, I'm not touching that thing. He was like, no, Lamorne, I'm not getting involved. Anyway, so funny. Oh, my God. Then Schmidt comes in.

With a peach cobbler that he just made as one does when they live alone. So funny. And he's freaking out about coach asking CC out on a date, obviously. Before we dive into it, is that a...

Has that happened? I think that's low. I think that's so low to go and know that this guy was madly in love. Complicated long history. It's not like they went on one date. Schmidt and Cece are a thing. And to be like, can I date her is like, but I also know that some people are just like not all together up there. And they go like, it's fine. It's over. We've all moved on. Some people are into sharing like the people in Montreal. Yeah.

They do a flashback, which is also so funny. Lots of really good improv in it where he does say yes. Schmidt does give him like the go ahead. He said, hey, man, it's all good. But he's not. But we know he's not with it. And then coach gets in his head, kind of shares it. And then somehow Schmidt becomes his hype man.

Yeah. And like starts to like put it on coach that he's the prize. And maybe also crazy joke that they'll get another Tiger Woods out of the situation. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, God. Caramel miracle. Oh, my God. And then here's what low key though Schmidt is going like, well, she's not even say yes. So like this is going to be a non-issue. I know Cece immediately coach goes. She said yes. And we are now going to go on our date.

high five it's all great and schmidt is now internally die that's right and then we see nick and jess who are also dying because they know what is happening what is schmidt doing he could at any point be like not comfortable

Yeah, 100%. Because Nick knows him. He knows Schmidt. They do a flashback where college Nick and Schmidt, oh my God, Nick lets Schmidt know that there will be another open mic with sturdier stools. Schmidt says he's fine. And then he proceeds to try to choke himself to death.

Let me die? I can't. Great flashback scene. Probably took half a day to shoot for three seconds of perfection. I know. Yeah, anyway, Nick tells Jess that Schmidt's about to try to stop the day from happening. He's about to go full Schmidt and the strategy is containment. So he says you need to lock him up like in a dog cage. Maybe they just help him move on.

But you know, no. - I've been in that situation before. I'm sure you have too, where you have to babysit a friend for making a bad decision, contacting an ex, trying to go get something, the thing, and you're like, I'm watching you. - No, I just let him do it.

You're like, I'm here. You got some popcorn. You're like, I'll drive you there. Yeah, go ahead. Do your thing, player. Let her remind you why y'all broke up. Go ahead. So they realize they got to babysit Schmidt. And then one of the funniest little misspeaks that happens sometimes when you really like somebody of Schmidt being like, or of Jess being like, you know, it's fine. Like,

Date nights when we're married. Merry Christmas. Merry when we're merry and happy. So cute. So funny. So relatable. And then Schmidt comes back in saying that maybe he should stop the date from happening. Schmidt asked if Nick was able to get the dog cage. I love that they're on the same page. Like they know each other so well. And they know that this is Nick's fault. Oh, 100%. 100%.

Meanwhile, Schmidt calls Jess or I'm sorry, Cece calls Jess and says that this little date with coach is good because they're both going through a breakup. Jess tells her not to pass second base, though. Like, I get it. He's cute and stuff, but don't do any other stuff.

This also sets the foundation of why Jess really can't let Schmidt get to CeCe. Because CeCe is saying, like, I need this rebound in this moment to help me, like, get over Schmidt. I really need it.

And so she's like holding the one thing that would like, you know, make this really tough for CC. So that's a really sweet thing. It wasn't actually in the script. They added that scene. And then they also added this moment at the doorway. Yeah. Where Damon goes flying.

Full Damon. Full Damon. This is one of those moments. That's also just my real face reacting. The fact that he responds too high and then tries to go deep and then the what's up, what's up, what's up. All of it. And his fingers.

No, the fingers. Damon just sent that to me. Someone tagged him in that. And then he said, he was like, I have zero memory of doing this in front of you. And I was like, yeah, it's like trauma. You probably just blocked it out because that's so inappropriate. It's 100%. But Damon likes to improvise in the most inappropriate fashion. He does. It's my favorite kind of humor. Now, um...

Now, wait, so Coach gathers himself to repeal. He says, what's up with a weird face? Oh, we talked about that a minute. But at the loft, Schmidt is in between Jess and Nick on the couch. They're hungry. Then he says, he's going to go quickly go get food from the Staples Center.

Where CeCe and Coach are heading for their date. Yes, for the Lakers game. Or the Sparks game. Which game was it? I forget. It was Sparks. It was Sparks. Sparks, yeah. Winston comes home. Winston now. Oh my God. Dejected. Claiming it's been so long. You know, he's forgotten how to talk to women. We have the flashback at the bar. He has this date and she's ever wondered if someone in the bar has killed someone. Winston on another date with Ferguson in a cowboy hat.

This is my favorite because I've used this line before.

Good Lord, how big are your feet? - You made the choice to do it like so happy impressed. Like this is the best thing you've ever seen on a woman walking by you. - Oh God. - So funny. - Man, such an obvious choice, love big feet. What? No, I don't. Do I? No, not my thing. Montreal. Anyway, Winston says he's fine. He'll be alone forever.

like Hank Aaron, who was alone for all those home runs that he hit as long as he has Ferguson. But then that's when Winston looks over and notices that the window is open, even though he had asked Nick to babysit Ferguson. That's crazy to think, by the way, if you have a cat and you live with roommates to go like, you can never open a window. That's crazy. That's crazy. Here's the thing for all the cat people out there. For all those cat people out there, there's a reason why you can't open a window.

And I think you should think about it because cats are probably trying to tell you something. They don't want to be there. That's probably a fact. They don't want to be there. Who wants to? Like they're animals. Like, look, I've had house cats. I get it. It's very complicated to figure out what the right thing to do is. But you do have moments, at least I did, where I was like, this feels like they should be able to run around outside. So I did what any normal human being does. I got him a leash and I would take him on walks.

That's true. I got a backpack and I put him in it and I took him for walks. I put him in a leash and I would take my cats for walks.

Oh, well, that's nice. That's nice. That's lovely. Nick tells Jess that she's going to have to stay behind to keep an eye on Schmidt because he's now torn. This is Winston's best friend in the world that's now escaped because best friends escape from time to time. And Nick is trying to figure out who should he help. Should he stay and babysit Schmidt and help Jess with that situation? Or should he go? Yeah.

Listen, he did the right thing because it was his fault. He did the right thing. And so he decides to go with Winston.

Now Schmidt tries to make a run for it, but Jessie steps in front of him. I will say, I think that line that Jake shouted when he ran out the door with you was like, let's go get that cat. And he does that funny jump. I feel like was a whole just Jake improv because he was like, what's the storyline now? He lost his cat and now I'm on this storyline. And I feel like that was just Jake being Jake. Jake does that from time to time though. Jake likes to do...

Like he reads the scripts. He knows what's about to happen. But then he'll go, what are we doing? That's right. Also fair. What are we doing? Like it's in the script, buddy. Jess and Schmidt are about to get into a physical altercation where he is so underwhelmed and disappointed by her physical attack. Which is also great. Yeah.

And then she starts doing this amazing routine. And it's a great edit of the most distracting, bizarre things in her wheelhouse to keep him, um,

Preoccupied. So she does everything that she kind of has in her toolbox to try to distract Schmidt, except for I don't know how much we've actually talked about this couch now. I feel like every every recap we keep talking about the infamous couch, which I own, which I did not realize this happened to it, where the couch reminds Schmidt of Cece's body. Yeah. Yeah.

And then he does things to the couch and uses the two pillows.

I know I'm changing my opinion of the couch that I have in my house because I forgot all about it. Max has been all over that thing. All over it, thinking it's Cece's body. Yeah. It's a very weird meta moment where you're like, wait a minute. Why do I have this thing? Things have been done to this couch. It was very creepy. Over and over and over again. A lot of takes. I don't even want to think about it. And the fact that...

I love Jess's reaction where he's like, "Leave me alone. It's fine. I don't have to do anything." And she's like, "You're making out with a sectional!" And she grabs his leg and yanks him up. And then he's like, "You did the right thing." He's like, "That was too much. I went too far."

All right. So then we head back into the car where Winston and Nick are. By the way, I've done this many times. I am the person when people have lost their cats, they call me. And I am a bit of a cat whisperer. I have found many cats in the city of L.A. Really? Can I tell you the secret real quick? Here's the secret. When people go out and look for cats, they usually walk around the neighborhood and they're going, this is true, it's my friend's cat, his name's Henry. Henry!

They're cats, right? So you're shouting. That's like scary. Even though you're trying to like carry your voice, what you have to do is speak in the voice that you would speak to your cat in. You're like, Henry, it's me. And all of a sudden the cats will come out of the woodwork. Yeah, you get those little clickers. Henry, baby. You can find Henry. Henry, you little asshole. Thanks for escaping and putting me and all my friends on the street. Oh, I love Henry so much.

I'm so happy we found him. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so now they're having this big relationship conversation, Nick. And Winnie the Bish, Nick is like, you got to go to more parties. And he's questioning him. Nick is questioning Winston because he says he's his best friend. Ferguson. Ferguson's his best friend. Yeah. Which is telling. However, he gets a text. Mm-hmm.

very telling text that someone has found Ferguson and now they must go over and figure out who this special person is. Now, meanwhile, Staples Center. Staples Center. Coaches do it too much. First of all, the merch that he got you is

The merch they got. I remember they're like, you have to wear the headband. You have to do the thing. The huge, crazy thing. Like every single thing they could load onto my body. And I remember genuinely being like, I don't know how I'm going to grab seven pretzels, you guys. Like I'm going to do my best, but I don't know how to do it. They also wanted me to have popcorn. They wanted it just to look like he was trying to buy my affection because he didn't know what else to do. And I think that landed.

Yeah, that was so funny. He's just tossing money. Throws the money. Can you imagine? Oh, gosh. Listen, people do that. People do that. Again, I remember when Gucci Mane

Just handed his lady a ring at the Hawks game when he was proposing to her. Just like gave it to her. It was like, will you marry me? Crazy. One of the funniest. One of the funniest. Finally, Cece kind of cracks. She has a moment where she's like, this is not working. Goodbye. I can't take it anymore. He's being hella rude. He's texting the entire time.

And it's it's just it's just it's awful. Like, it's really true. If you're trying to, like, rebound off to get out of, like, your headspace of an old relationship to be with somebody that it feels worse with than the person you've just left is terrible because it's not driving you in the wrong direction. Yeah. Yeah. Driving you to other women.

Come to Montreal where I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going to stop. Why don't you just go to Montreal? You're the face of the bank of Montreal. I know. Go to break. Go to break. Go to break. Go to break. You're dead. You're dead.

I don't know why my jaw keeps sticking in my head. This is why. Of course. That's who you say it. You get paid to say it a thousand times. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And we are back, ladies and gentlemen. So much love. So much love. Now we're at this bar and then Jess is pushing Schmidt to go talk to a girl who happens to be on a flip phone.

Schmidt says she's either poor or a time traveler. Iconic line. Iconic line. Jess pushes him into a booth and then leaves. Schmidt lets the girl know that in another life they would have been lovers, but the love of his life is at a spark skin right now with another man. And the weird part about this one is that he just...

Just goes and kisses the girl. That's what I was going to say. Just the smooch. You can just do that? No, you can't. We're learning these little illegal caveats for Schmidt. Like putting a clock with a camera in a house.

and just walking up and kissing some women at the bar. Yeah, that's crazy. Crazy. That's crazy. But women, feel free to keep doing that to us dudes. We don't mind. This dude, let's be specific. This dude squats, I lock. Just kiss him. Careful what you wish for. You're putting it out there. I'm okay with it. Okay, so here starts Birdie O'Clock.

We're in it now. This storyline is very funny. Oh, yeah. They're sitting on the couch of the lovely young lady, Birdie. Birdie, the bus driver, played by the wonderful, the funny, the talented Jessica Chaffin. Is it Chaffin or Chaffin? Chaffin. Chaffin. Is that right? It's Chaffin. Jessica Chaffin.

People still call me Lamont sometimes. So, you know, pronunciation. Unless you hear it, it's hard. The written word is difficult. You gotta hear it. You gotta hear it. She lets him know she found Ferguson under the trash eating a dead raccoon's eyeball. I'd like to tell you in the script, it was a dirty diaper.

And I kind of went, both equally vile. Equally vile. Also the fact that, you know, like Winston is just sort of like not even fazed. He's like, you found little snacks, so happy for you. I'm like, sir. So they immediately hit it off. But the weird thing, the funny thing about how they hit it off is the dinner. It's interesting. It's like, do you like bologna? It's the kind you have to peel the wrapper off. What?

Do you have pudding in a cup? She's like, no. Nick has no idea what the hell is going on. But I tell you, I do know what was going on. Energy. That's what happens. Vibes, vibes, vibes. That's what happens. You can't tell when it's going to happen. You don't know what time it's going to happen. You don't know who it's going to happen with. But every once in a while, you got to peel the wrapper off that bologna and start slapping meats. And the funny part is when they're eating the sandwich, um,

Oh my God. Actually, we'll get to that. We'll get to that. I love this part when we see Schmidt running down the street asking if he's calling it. He's like on a mission now. But he doesn't want to show up empty handed. That's kind of adorable. So he goes to get chocolate. He goes to get chocolate. How do you find chocolate that says, I'm sorry for cheating on you. Please don't sleep with my friend. The look, by the way, that they directed her to give is so funny because I was like, she's not going to sell me any chocolate. That's rude.

Okay, we're getting into break. We'll come back and we're going to talk about it.

I'm using my PayPal debit card to earn cash back in the apparel category this month. Shopping for the perfect outfit is so much fun, especially when I'm putting together a look for a special occasion. Knowing I'll get cash back just makes it that much more exciting. What's really great about the PayPal debit card is that every month I can choose a different category to earn cash back on, whether it's restaurants, apparel, health and beauty, groceries, or gas.

Plus, I can get cashback offers within the app from brands like DoorDash, Sephora, and Instacart. Download the new PayPal app, sign up, and start earning 5% cashback today. Don't just pay. PayPal. Terms and limits apply. See paypal.com slash rewards pal. Cashback earned as points redeemable for cash and other options on up to $1,000 spend per month. The PayPal debit MasterCard is issued by the Bancor Bank N.A., pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated and may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted.

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Check out more of this national sales event. The deals are there when you visit buyatoyota.com. That's buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places. The holidays are officially here at the Home Depot, which means it's time to deck the halls and your home with festive cheer. If you're on the hunt for the perfect tree, we've got you covered. Explore our huge assortment of trees in all shapes, sizes, and styles.

Designed to fit any holiday vibe and every holiday budget, like the Jackson Noble Fur. It's not only super easy to assemble, but it also comes pre-lit with 1,200 color-changing bulbs and multiple lighting functions.

Or maybe the flocked starry light Fraser fir is more your style. With over 1,900 pre-lit memory wire branches that hold their shape, this tree's ready to shine right out of the box. Whether it's trees, wreaths, or twinkling lights, we've got everything you need to make your home holiday ready. So shop now at homedepot.com and enjoy free delivery on most holiday decor. Subject to availability, see homedepot.com slash delivery for details.

There's joy to be had in finding the perfect gifts for the ones you love. And Saks.com's Holiday Gift Guide can make it easy. Whether it's surprising your hard-to-shop-for sister with a Chloe bracelet bag, or gifting your partner a memorable scent from Gucci that matches their personality.

Saks.com's hand-picked guide can help take the stress out of the holidays, like adding instant cheer to your home with bright decor or giving yourself some comfort by bundling up in a scarf coat from Tatem. Find gifts guaranteed to bring joy to everyone this season at Saks.com. Look around. You can find cars like these on AutoTrader, like that car right in your tail. Or if you're tailgating right now, all those cars doubling as kitchens and living rooms are on AutoTrader, too.

Are you working out and listening to this ad at the same time? Well, multitasking pro. Cars like the ones in the gym parking lot are for sale on AutoTrader. New cars, used cars, electric cars, maybe even flying cars. Okay, no flying cars, but as soon as they get invented, they'll be on AutoTrader. Just you wait. AutoTrader. And we are back from break. Back from break. What are we talking about, Hannah? Yeah. What are we about to talk about? We're not talking about it. Okay, I'm going to move on then.

We're not talking about. I'm at the game now. We're going to cut this whole thing because we're not talking about. I know, but I'm at the game. The game. I'm at the game now. I'm at the game. So coach is ignoring Cece. I mentioned this before. He's doing a terrible job. And she finally like snaps, dumps the popcorn. She's dunzo bunzo. And that was a very fun moment, by the way, to like throw the popcorn out. How many times do you have to do that? I probably asked for like 10 takes, you know, just to get it right.

Did you actually eat any of that popcorn? Because that would be my problem. I love popcorn. I love popcorn, too. We should get a popcorn deal. We should. That's my favorite part about going to the movies. It's popcorn. Sometimes nachos. But the popcorn. Okay, popcorn people, you hear us? We love popcorn. Like a lot. So we're back at birdies now.

Winston, Nick, and Birdie. They're eating these sandwiches. This is when Birdie lets us know that she is a bus driver. Not before revealing that she used to manage a shoe store. Also, she used to sell Christian t-shirts. Then, she got her tubes done. All these things are really arousing, Winston. Ha ha ha!

Because she's real. You know how actually I get it. I do get it when somebody, you know, you're like, hey, how you doing? And they're like, actually terrible. This thing just happened. I'm not dealing with it well. I'm going to take a minute. It is very attractive. Except for if you're Mike Tyson being interviewed by an 11-year-old girl. Have you seen that interview? No.

This lovely old girl is like, you know, Mike Tyson, you know, this is the first time that kids from my generation are going to be able to see you in the ring in real time. You know, what do you think that says about your legacy? And he goes, who the hell cares about legacy? We're all going to be dead soon. We're all going to die. He's like, you care about legacy? You care about legacy? You know, I'm being the dirt. We're going to be dead. We're going to be ashes. It's all just dirt. Like, why does it matter? You really care about legacy? We're dead. We're dead.

He was dropping the F-bomb to her like over and over and over again. It was just being real. It was just being real. Wow. Appropriate realness. Thank you for that. Let me say, I love appropriate realness. Appropriate realness. You know your audience. I also love this moment, by the way, where Mick, like a little kid sitting with like his dad or mom, and he's like, eat the sandwich. And he's like, I don't like the sandwich.

So cute. He's like, can't eat the sandwich. And the fact that then Winston is honest that the sandwich is tough to chew, but does it in a way that's like highly sexual. And then whatever y'all do back and forth was wild. And she says that you can suck on it to make it soft. I can't. By the way, that was not in the script. So I don't know what you guys were doing. That was her. She's wild. She's funny. Okay.

And then, you know, Nick tells him, hey, listen, you got to get out of here. Take Ferguson home. He gives Ferguson a little pep talk. Hey, man, go ahead. We're about to go do what grownups do. Yeah, adult things to each other. Now, back at the game, Coach, he comes clean. He tells CeCe, hey, I was nervous. I was texting my mom, you know, and this is an honest thing, too, because I'm in this moment right now.

He feels like he doesn't know how to date anymore since his breakup. For me, it's just been so long that I've officially dated somebody that I've kind of screwed up a couple of dates lately just based off of not being in rhythm. It's a real thing, you know? So I'm just still holding out for Zoe Kravitz. I'm practicing to see, you know what? Hannah, I feel like you would know her. I feel like all pretty people hang out at like the pretty club. Oh, look at us.

look at us hollywood we know where we're not hanging out because they won't let us in i um i uh don't know her i would love to know her she's like so kind and smart and talented and interesting if i drop it in a good word for you thank you i appreciate that it means a lot um yeah so cc tells him that she knows exactly what that feels like

And then Jess, she's tracking down. She's tracking down Schmidt. She says, get in the car. Schmidt says he loves her so much. He loves Cece so much he needs to tell her this. She's like, no, you gotta let her go. And Schmidt knows that the only way. This is too much. It was too much. The only way you can stop me, you gotta hit me with your car. And she gently taps him and he just loses it.

The favorite utility khakis. Incredible line. Oh, my gosh. Brilliant. And I love how the police pull up behind her and then she acts. She panics and then actually gets scared and then runs him over. Oh, my God. She tells the police that she only meant to hit him once. And I asked her to like, this is weird. I don't know what this is. Goodbye. Oh, gosh. So they get back to the loft. Mm hmm.

Right. Or they're outside of the loft. Oh, gosh, they're outside. And they see Coach and Cece making out in the alleyway. I will just have to explain this. OK, there are. Sorry. Yeah, I tried. I tried to be that for this scene. I tried to sell the chemistry. Damon and I are.

Our brother and sister. I can't explain it. We have that type of human energy. We're brother and sister. So if you want to understand what it was like for us to try to make out with each other, think about making out with your brother or sister. It's like a primal revulsion. Love, Damon.

Love Damon as a human, as my friend. He's a gorgeous man. But there's something internal in my body and in his where we both tried. So they shot that scene for so long. And they're like, you got to pick her up. He tried to pick me up. You even see me struggle. Because I start laughing. I lean forward. I think I knocked his tooth with my tooth.

They were like, oh, God, we had to come down and his tooth and the thing. And they were trying. They were laughing so hard. They couldn't they couldn't figure it out, which is why at the end of this episode, all there is is the extra long wide shot. Yes.

That's all they could use because we did not have that dynamic. And I think they were going to try to keep the Coach CeCe thing going for the rest of the season, but they watched us.

have no chemistry like that. And they're like, we may need to pivot. This is something else. That's the truth. Yeah, that's bad. That's bad. But, you know, but back at Birdie's, you know. Back at Birdie's having no trouble. No trouble because they're in the bathroom aggressively and passionately making out. After they drink? Mouthwash. They didn't spit it out. It's just chugged.

Yeah, that's how you get drunk. You know what I thought it was initially? I thought it was Pepto. I was like, oh, they're just chugging all the Pepto and getting ready. I feel like that was a bit. Oh, no, no. She talks about taking her stomach meds. Okay. Anyway, folks, we'll be right back. When we come back, we're going to mess around quickly. And we are back. Babe. Yeah, babe. Let's go. Okay. I've got one big mess around question for you. Okay.

Have you ever had a friend date an ex or ask you for permission to date an ex? No, but I've had a friend on the low shoot his shot. And I think he scored. To this day, I don't actually know the truth. Is he still like a friend?

We had our little falling out, but then over the years we became buddies again. But you still don't know. I still don't know. Her and I are no longer a thing. But you start to learn how to adjust and pivot around people. You start to go, can I truly trust this individual? You never truly know.

But it definitely lets you know how to operate around said individual. So I don't put that on everyone that I'm around. It's just that that dude, I go, maybe not. You know, I don't need to start laying hands. And I ain't talking about the healing kind either. I don't need to do that. It's old school Maya Angelou quote, right? People show you who they are. Believe them. Believe them. What about you? No. No.

No, but I have a very, like, you have a big circle. I feel like I've always, like, had a very, very small circle. So it would be really weird of, like, with my, like, three best girlfriends. If someone is like, you know that ex that you're like, we were crying over last week? Yeah. Do you think maybe? I'll be like, yep, no problem. You can totally do it. I just need half an hour. I'm going to run to Home Depot. I'm just going to get a shovel. I'm going to dig, like, a little six foot little trench. And you're going to lay down, girl.

What are you talking about? You are dead to me. Goodbye. No, no, no, no, no. That's a no. That's a no. That's a no. That's going to be a no for me, dog. No, it's a hard pass for me. Sorry to that man. The words of our beloved hero and leader, Poodie Tang. I must say the nay no. I must say the nay no, my brother. Anyway, um,

That's our show. Such a fun episode. Longest night ever. But I will say, I think we were so excited to do this one. We made this like a speedy one. Yeah, it was pretty quick. It was good. I was into it. I love this episode. Yeah. Thank y'all for listening. We really appreciate that. Thank you so much. Follow us on IG, The Mess Around Pod. Find us.

does online at TheMessAroundPod.com. You can wear all this cute stuff we're wearing. We'll be back next week with episode 310. You know them, you love them. It's another Thanksgiving episode.

Peace. That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.

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