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How crispy are the new Delimex Crispy Quesadillas? Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Delimex Crispy Quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up, if you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. Mmm, so crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. Mmm.

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All right. We've got a great episode coming up for you today. It is 308. It is a menu.

Tell us about it. Okay, so in this episode, Coach is on a mission to get Nick to work out, wanting him to avoid gaining the Boyfriend 15, which is real, by the way. And Winston is dying to join them, even though his injuries and body are telling him no. I feel like the writers stole this from my real life. Okay.

Speaking of no, when Principal Foster tells Jess that she can't go on a field trip to the beach to celebrate Ocean Conservation Day, she takes her aggression out on Hop Frost.

Also, illegals?

Yeah. I'm sure that's like highly illegal. I don't think it's illegal if you say, hey guys, I'm putting a camera in here. And they say, okay. Put a hat on it. Unplug it. I know. Okay. Yeah, that's strange. It is strange. But we'll be right back.

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How crispy are the new Deli-Mex crispy quesadillas? Let's see. I'm gonna pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Deli-Mex crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up, if you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. Mmm, so crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. Mmm. Mmm.

If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mac's crispy quesadillas in the frozen aisle. Hannah, we just went to a commercial break and now we're back. We're back. Yeah, you want to tell the world who directed this thing and who wrote this thing? One of my favorite humans ever, period, point blank, Trent O'Donnell. Mr. Trent O'Donnell. Get well soon.

So many injuries. I have to say, I'm working on a project with him now. Just sold a project with him now. Ooh, fancy. It's not info, but some people got news too, you know. Only a few dollars. And I love him so much. I will say he has done a couple shows that people don't know about or few people know about in Australia that people should find. One is The Moody's.

The original Australian Moody's is Chef's Kiss, one of the funniest shows ever. And the original first and second season of No Activity, the Australian one. Oh, yeah. The funniest season.

some of the funniest things I've ever seen. Comedic genius, came to direct. We all loved him so much. He stayed on and was our producing director and now is like a dear friend. And we've all worked with him now on multiple things since. Oh, yeah. All of us have. Like directed a bunch of Jake's movies and he's just the best. And this is also written by Matt Fussfeld and Alex Cuthbertson. Who, this is also a fun fact,

Met and fell in love with his wife on the show, new girl. You know her. You love her. Miss Liz Merriweather. That's right. Alex and Liz sitting in a tree. And now they have three babies.

Yeah. You know, I always imagined them just that's the reason why we haven't come back for another season, because they were busy falling in love. And they said they said they said, screw new girl. We're going to just do each other and have babies and get married. And then the fans got to suffer. So Liz, Alex, Matt, whoever's out there, please start writing again.

I mean, here's the thing. Is it? I think when the show was on the air, the number one question was like, are y'all friends in real life? Or, you know, what's so-and-so really like? And now I feel like the number one question we all get all the time is reunion. And I go like,

Can somebody just call Liz? We don't have the control. We hear the questions so loudly. We do. This is Liz. We're all lined up, ready to go. I think we've all said at some point or one stage or another that, yes, we would be down to do it. During the Sexiest Men Alive interview portion, we were asked that question quite a few times. And all the guys are on board saying,

Sounds like you're on board, Hannah. I'm bored. I've like I've always done. I'm just going to speak for Zoe and say she's on board. OK, let's dive in. OK, so a menu for a Chinese restaurant gets slid under the door. And then, you know, Nick gets the bright idea that this Chinese Chinese food menu comes that he should get breakfast and he orders takeout for breakfast.

and then Jess walks in and she let Nick's, she lets Nick know that she is not allowed to judge him anymore because she's his girlfriend. I think I'm all over the place with this so far. No, you know what I'll say to you? When I saw that happen, I was like, I wasn't there for the judgment. I wasn't there for like the little look because I,

Why not? Why can't you have Chinese food for breakfast? Like so delicious pizza for breakfast. I'm down. Like it's, it's weird. If your body's hungry and you want to eat something, eat it. I never understood the thought like the, yeah, the order of operations as far as what you're supposed to be eating. You know, I heard, you know, maybe you eat, you start with fruit because it's easier to digest and it's at the bottom and then it's, so it doesn't sit on top of the harder digest food and then it starts to ferment in your belly and,

So that's the only thing that I've heard as far as order of operations. I've literally never heard that. And that sounds so counterintuitive because you're probably going to put like acidic things in your belly.

That's what I heard. And I could be wrong or whoever said that. We should have ordered Chinese food and recorded this at breakfast. Now I'm hungry for Chinese food. All right. Okay. So they're sitting there talking about Ocean Conservation Day. And Nick's advice is don't try so hard. This is going to work for you. Then Coach walks in, best, instantly judges Nick for eating Chinese food for breakfast.

As Nick crawls around the floor looking for a lost dumpling. Oh, my God. Nick looking for food is as good as Schmidt spiraling out of control. Also feels like so much of it is improv. Anything he has to do is weird with food. I feel like Jake just goes gangbusters. He's not really improvising. He's not really improvising. He's rehearsed that in real life. He's a method actor, you guys. Yeah, I feel like he's always searching for food on the ground. I kid, I kid. Jake's very rich.

Jess, you know, she tells Principal Foster they need transportation costs. That's it. That's all they need. Yeah, that's it. And then he flips out. He spats out. He apologizes. Says he slept very poorly the night before. Now, here's why I find funny about that. Because he said he had some friends. And I don't know if this is true or not. He said he had some friends that came in from Montreal. Right. And he was up all night.

If you notice in prior episodes, you know, Principal Foster has that hot tub and he's trying to get the whole gang in. It feels like he's a bit of a swinger. Is it true that Montreal is like...

the mecca for swingers. I don't know. That's what I've heard. I'm scared to Google it because it'll just ruin my entire algorithm. But like, I wouldn't be surprised, you know, it's like so much love. It's cold outside. You want to cuddle up with your friends and have some like fun. And their friends. And their friends. You get the hot tub. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. All the power to you. Have fun, I guess. I feel like that's why they said that. I feel like that's why they added that little tidbit in there.

They're just like planting this fun story for Foster. I dare to say that that's exactly what happened. Does anybody else have this fan theory? Let us know. Because this is so far Lamorne. But I co-sign it. I'm into it. I mean, you're from Canada. You know how people get down over there.

From the warm part of Canada. Well, Jess lets him know that a lot of her students have never seen the ocean, which is a real thing. A lot of people haven't, which is odd that they're in California and haven't seen the ocean. In fact, she asked them to draw the ocean, and one student painted a bagel with wings floating over red water.

Jess says she will not take no for an answer. My favorite was the square. Mm-hmm. That was my favorite one. I think when I looked at the script, there was only one picture that was going to be shown. Mm-hmm. And it was one response. And then...

you know, comedic genius of plays, you know, principal Foster just then rift and said all sorts of funny things and they kept it in. That's one thing I loved about our show. We got the best guest stars and they would just let them go and it would make the show. It was great. Um, um, now back at the loft, uh,

Coach, yeah, Coach is telling Nick that he's talked to him about his fitness levels. I love the beginning of Coach's, his return to the loft. It's like all about fitness. His name is Coach. He wears tracksuits. He likes to work out. And he's telling him about his body.

And then Nick's like, my body? Yeah. You know, and then that's when Winston comes in, obviously, and lets the boys know that the last time Nick worked out was when he battled his daddy's other dumb sperm in order to make his way to his mama's dumb ass egg. I thought this was going to turn into one of those, like, uh-oh, another Winston trait where he's bad at pranks. One, he's bad at roasts. And I was shocked it didn't go that far into it.

They just kept it at that very, very. It's a good burn. Just a long one. It's a very long burn. But I like it. I like it. If you were to make that shorter, how would you say it?

I don't know. I think it was more the speed of the delivery. Yeah, it was a little slow. I think that's where it falls short. It's like he's thinking of it while he's saying it. You got to have a locked and loaded and then just like, you know, fire it. Oh, gosh. Okay. You can't be inventing it as you go. They'll catch you. Now, the dynamic between Coach and Nick in this moment, it's like a

strange weird, will it happen, will it not happen? He's trying to convince him over and over again to work out. But he keeps letting him know, this is my body, I'm used to this body. He calls himself old-fashioned Coney Island fat strong. laughter

But I knew exactly what he was talking about. You know those people that don't work out. They're just big boys, but they can tussle. Husky. Husky. That's right. People aren't tussling a lot in Vancouver, I don't think. That's true. It's kind of a tussle-free zone north of that 49th parallel. My favorite part of this moment is when Schmidt walks in and just...

pronounce his Chinese food Chinese food is that what he said I can't this is this episode and the next episode Max really goes for it and every single word that comes out of his mouth is not pronounced correctly yeah and it's I feel like it's he's now in this season and at this point just gets in this rhythm of like I'm I this is going to be the thing all the time not just once in a while and it's

so funny. I don't know how he can do it so well. And another thing I like about this episode is I felt like there was a lot of little gems that Damon was dropping in this one. And tell me if I'm wrong. I don't think this was in the script, but it could have been when he's walking out and he's just roasting his pants. Like how small his jeans are. I just felt like a lot of those were just Damon, uh,

I think if you tell Damon, okay, in this scene, Coach is going to mock Schmidt and his body in a pair of jeans, Damon's just like, back up, let me go. Yeah. Let me go. Oh, absolutely. And is so happy. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Anyway, we're back at it again. He's trying to train him. Is it going to happen? I don't know. But Winston said he would love for Colts to train him as well. But he went in, you know, he went in for a dunk the other day on the court and then he tweaked something when in reality, he actually slipped on menus while eating some ice cream in the hallway. It's a very good menu tie in.

100%. They're building. They're building. They're building. Everybody's got to be mad about the menus. Well, because, you know, having just an abundance of menus is one thing. But then, like, having those menus, you know, be falsehood, have falsehoods on the bottom, lies, causing injuries to folks. That's another thing. That's when menus really become a problem. I've always said that. You know? Yeah.

Now, I love this one. When Coach says that this is typical Winston, he's always hurt. At the time, he sat out of the game because he was sad. And Winston was like, and I was also cold. Could you imagine? But that would be me.

I never, ever, ever played sports. Was not interested until somebody was like, did you know that Hannah can't even play sports? And I was like, blech. And so I went and made the volleyball team, the basketball team, and made all the teams. And I can, I just don't want to. And so I can, and I made all the teams. And then I was always just trying to get out of playing. Yeah. Because I didn't really want to play. So, you know, I'd be sad about things. And then the coach would be like, blech. Like, sit down. And I was like, this is working. Yeah.

Sad and cold works, by the way, you guys. If you have to go to PE and you don't feel like it, be sad and cold. Sad and cold. Yeah. Can you imagine somebody in the NBA and they're like not playing tonight and then you look over at the bench and they're just wrapped in a blanket? LeBron's cold tonight, you guys. He's got a little chilly. He's got a little chilly. A little chilly, can't play today. He's goose bumping. Now, Coach is talking about the boyfriend of 15. Did you know that was a real thing? No.

I remember freshman 15 when I went to college. It was like freshman 15, which probably is connected to the fact, one, your mom's not there making sure you're eating healthier foods. But two, yeah, you fall in love. All of a sudden, you get a little freedom. You go out. You're making decisions. They're not great ones. Right. There's no P.E. in college. 100%. What's he sitting around?

It's real. It's a real thing. And then it just usually continues in that direction unless you catch it. So he's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's talking about he's like 15. The next thing you know, it's 20. And the next thing you know, you're a fat dude riding a little bike with a cowboy hat on talking about my ass hurts.

Like when he throws in the, he's like, what did he say? The, the, that guy rash on his arm or something like that. I know Damon made that up. For sure. Damon made that up. For sure. Oh boy. Um, now here we go. Nick says he's, uh,

He's got a bad back. He's coming up with a million excuses of why he can't work out, right? The coach is like, well, you just gave me a piggyback ride the other day. You were giggling the entire time. He's like, yeah, you went up the stairs, dude. Here's the thing, too. What was so great about these scenes, because you know so much of that was improv and them naturally laughing and smiling at each other because Jake and Damon had just done Let's Be Cops, right? And had just become like...

fast friends yeah like truly like they lived together basically to do this movie they were like away from everyone and they did it and i think it was jake right who said to damon like come back like come back and hang out with us i think it was and he was like i'll do it and i think that they gave them this storyline together and the fact that they got to do this thing where they get to make fun of each other is like heaven for them probably best day at work

Oh, yeah. And you see it, which is why I think this is supposed to be like the bee story, I think, to the ocean conservation story. But everybody remembers this storyline because you can feel the joy and the chemistry from the boys. Yeah, because it's pure stupidity. That's right. You know, he's telling him, he's asking him if he's a dumpling guy or a doing guy. And he says, give me just, what did he say? Give me one session of

And then you'll see abs. That's not true. I personally know. So do you. That's not true. Okay. I get why Nick is afraid. It is a hard process to get to your abs. And then Nick says maybe he thought God didn't want him to have those. That sounds like also a Jake thing to be like, I wasn't born with those. That's not possible. Yeah. Oh, 100%.

You know, then Winston tries to come in and prove himself again by doing one jumping jack. And he immediately hits the ground in pain. Now, when I said earlier that I feel like this is a part... I feel like they are stealing from my life. I actually mean that because we talked about this before on the show. Like, my body hurts sometimes. You know what I mean? I don't have any, like, you know, muscular disease. I've checked. I just begin...

I'd just be getting hurt easily. Like, it's always like the calamity LeMorn, you know. No, no, knock on wood. Grateful, you know, thankful nothing has been permanent or damaging or, like, extreme. But, like, I'll tell you an example. I'm shooting Spider-Man right now, Spider-Noir. And there's a scene where I just knock on the door like this. Literally, I just go pop, pop, pop. My knuckle is in so much pain. Why did I tell everybody this?

Because I want everybody to know I'm sensitive. Not only am I one of people's sexiest men alive, but I'm also sensitive, you know, physically sensitive. In the knuckles. In the knuckles, you know, so you know I don't hit people. You know what I mean? Like, it's going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you. So I'm just a gentle giant. You, I can't right now. And it's my middle finger too. I don't want to show it to you because I don't want you to get offended. Like, oh, it's one specific knuckle. Did you get ice?

No, I didn't get ice. I'm just kind of, I'm braving through it. You know what I mean? I'm very proud of you. I'm very proud of you. That's right there. Now we're back at school. What's happening back at school? What's happening back here at the-

Oh, man. At school, a student approaches Jess and shows off her hot dog beach hat. And then Jess has to let her know that the field trip isn't going to happen. And then the student says, but anything is possible. Jess begins to tear up. Great acting by Zoe. She said, just keep wearing the hot dog hat. And who knows, maybe one day she'll be the first little girl in space and to just ride that hot dog hat all the way to the moon.

And the girl goes, this part also made me laugh because it was so smart writing of how to end this moment. The girl goes to tap Jess on the shoulder, console her, and Jess goes, you're not legally allowed to touch me. And I'm like, what? You know, I did hear what is crazy is a friend of mine whose kid is in school.

The kid tripped, five years old, skinned their knee, reached up for the teacher for a hug, crying, and the teacher didn't give the kid a hug. That's a fact. They said we're not allowed to touch the children. And I was like, but Drew, you have five-year-olds. And they got like a boo-boo and they just like want a hug. And it's like not allowed.

Yeah. You know what's crazy? So I went to drop my daughter off at school the other day. And this little boy came up. And he's friends with my daughter. And he has his arms out like he wants to give me a hug. And I was like, why is he raising his arms to me? Because his dad had already dropped him off. And so I look over at the teacher. I said, what? She goes, I think he's trying to give you a hug. And I went, what?

Is that allowed? And she goes, yeah, yeah, he, yeah. So I went down, I gave him a hug. And she was like, he just, he really likes hugging. That's it. Aww. Aww.

And he hugs my daughter. I'll give you a hug. Oh, that was so sweet. So sweet, but not legal at the school. Right. That Jess is working at. Such a funny way to end the scene. Also, so truthful. Oh, yes. So truthful. So truthful.

Now Jess is about to project all this frustration because she comes home and she finds a bunch of these hot food menus on the floor. Nick says he's got a trainer. He's going to look like Barry Bonds. But he can feel that Jess is off.

Because she is losing her entire mind over the hot food menus. And she says they've killed their last treat. I will say this. I remember living in an apartment in Toronto. And the menus for the restaurants back in the day were like confetti. I was like, why do you think I need nine? What's going on? And then every day. It was wild. Wild.

You know, I think they outsource the people who are like, you know, passing out the menus, right? So people forget. They'll just go, you know, it's one, if like, if one person drops it off today, a different person goes by and they just drop it off. They drop it off again. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I think it's more like because I was definitely this kind of person if you ever employed me in my 20s. Sorry. But if you gave me a job like that, that I didn't really like wasn't excited about, I would just be like, well, if I put 10 in every mail slot, I'll be done this job real quick. And then I can go do what I want to do.

You're probably right. I'm going to go ahead and say that's probably what it is. People ain't trying to be out there passing out flowers. That's right. They're being creative. I know. They're being creative. So she is annoyed. So she goes and storms over to Hop Fu. And an employee there lets her know that he also hates the menus. They're so bad for the environment. He thanks Jess for stepping up, for saying something. And she is like,

She feels seen. She feels moved. She feels heard, which is not happening at the school. So it's ticking all her boxes. And she's like, it's so refreshing to meet someone who actually cares. And then he starts flattering her. You're so beautiful. And then she like, I carries a watermelon. Dirty dancing reference. And she gets all like flustered and then leaves. What I love is that the actor who plays this guy, Brian, is Justin Chong.

Justin John is a fantastic, not only is he a fantastic actor, but he's also a fantastic director. Let's see, Blue Bayou. He also is directing the new Sublime movie. What? The movie about, yeah, yeah.

This guy is insane. He's insanely talented and just glad we got a chance to work with him. You know what I mean? Wow. I had no idea. I will also say this thing about Sublime. I've been in many a debate because I think they say the name Hannah and that I don't practice. I got no Christopher. They do say it.

no that's not what that's not the part for sure says my name no he said i had a million dollars but i spent it all oh if i could wait no you're right okay if i can find that right that's the part that's the part that's the part i said it wrong but that's the part yeah that's the part right there but that's the part and it's my name right hannah right i think he said hannah right did he say that i think i just remember let me see um

You're going to Google it right now? Google it. Figure it out. I don't know why I've never Googled it, but I remember that song was big. I was like, that's a song? He says my name because no songs have Hannah in it. No, Haina. H-E-I-N-A. Sorry. If I could find that Hannah. That's my name. In that central that she's found. That's right. So that's my name. H-E-I-N-A. That's not how you spell it. How can you? What? It's a song. You're saying it. Like he doesn't spell it out. Haina. No, he doesn't say Haina. That's not Haini.

Somebody just put it in the lyrics.com thing wrong. Guys, we're going to break. Black Friday is coming. And for the adults in your life who love the coolest toys, well, there's something for them this year, too. Bartesian is the premier craft cocktail maker that automatically makes more than 60 seasonal and classic cocktails, each in under 30 seconds at the push of a button.

And right now, Bartesian is having a huge site-wide sale. You can get $100 off any Cocktail Maker or Cocktail Maker Bundle when you spend $400 or more. So, if the cocktail lover in your life has been good this year, or the right kind of bad, get them Bartisans.

At the push of a button, make bar-quality cosmopolitans, martinis, Manhattans, and more. All in just 30 seconds. All for a hundred off. Amazing toys aren't just for kids. Get a hundred off a cocktail maker when you spend 400 through Cyber Monday. Visit bartesian.com slash cocktail. That's B-A-R-T-E-S-I-A-N dot com slash cocktail.

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. Life comes at you fast, which is why it's important to find some time to relax. A little you time. Enter Chumba Casino. With no download required, you can jump on anytime, anywhere for the chance to redeem some serious prizes. So treat yourself with

Chumba Casino and play over 100 online casino-style games, all for free. Go to ChumbaCasino.com to collect your free welcome bonus. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Void where prohibited by law. 18 plus terms and conditions.

This holiday season, surprise everyone on your list with the best gifts. Tickets to see their favorite artists live. Choose from thousands of concerts and comedy shows, including Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Matt Matthews, Metallica, Thomas Rhett, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Sarah Silverman, and so many more. Share a memory together.

or give a gift they'll never forget. Find the most exciting gift for every fan at LiveNation.com slash gifts. That's LiveNation.com slash gifts.

This is Shirley Strawberry from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Toyota has been building a legacy of excellence for years, from developing hybrid technology to upping the standards of safety and efficiency. Toyota is always innovating, always making progress. And with a superior lineup of in-stock SUVs, including the adventure-ready RAV4 and capable, affordable Corolla Cross, you can experience the legacy of Toyota for yourself. Visit

buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals to find out more. Toyota, let's go places. How crispy are the new Delimax crispy quesadillas? Let's see. I'm going to pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Delimax crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up, if you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. Mmm, so crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. Mmm. Mmm.

If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mac's crispy quesadillas in the frozen aisle. And we're back. Two revelations. There's two revelations that we're about to come to right now. What? One, we realized that Hannah is synonymous with hiney, apparently. A root. That's a root. And Hannah, for sure, did not find the bear this week. Stop talking.

I'm not talking about it. It's in the damn outline. What do you want me to do? I don't know why it's in the outline. It's not. I truly low-key, because yes, it is in the outline, because we never removed it from the outline. But I will say this. I remember every single time to be like, okay, I see it in the outline. I'm going to skip it, because I know we have a plan. I think deep down, you love this segment. I think we're going to bring it back for season four. I can tell you why I love it, because you're right. I do love it, and I'm going to tell you why. Mm-hmm.

Because you're failing at it, and I love making fun of you. I know that you like making fun of me, but I ain't failing because the fans are on my side. Just wait. We are back at the loft. Yes. Okay, go ahead. I just mommed you. I was like, I'm back in the loft. Get in the car. Coach tells Nick that this program is as easy as pizza. It's an acronym. It's a bad acronym. It's a bad acronym.

Physical, education, activity, nuts. It makes perfect sense. It's perfect. I think it's perfect too. Peanuts. I love it. I can see Matt and Alex trying to come up with that acronym. Pea what? Peanuts. Then just have David say nuts. Nuts. Perfect. Peanuts.

Yeah, Winston, here we go again. This has been their storyline this entire episode. Coach saying, Nick, you should work out. He's saying, no, I like dumplings. Winston's saying, can I work out? But Winston can't work out because Winston's constantly hurting himself. And then here we go again. He tries to do a burpee, only hurting himself in the process. And Schmidt calls Nick, and he asks him if he left his Oakland Raiders yarmulke.

Oh, God. You know, that's that thing where you really want to... Like, you miss people and you just call for nothing. For no reason. Hey, man, you got water working over there in the house? What?

Light switches up and down. My house is down and up, but is yours up and down? It also makes me laugh because of like hyper specific swag, like team swag that knows its market. Like an Oakland Raiders yarmulke makes me laugh. Like when the Dodgers just won, I was a lunatic and went and like bought out

all the merch on the site immediately because I just wanted to like rep it so hard immediately and then it literally showed up yesterday and I was like and then I was like I mean it's cool I'm so happy to have this World Series 2024 Dodgers champion but I don't know if I needed the t-shirt the hat the hoodie the jersey and

Wow. I got very excited after that fifth inning turnaround. If they had a yarmulke, I would have probably bought the yarmulke. I just was like, click, click, add to cart, let's go. Dodgers. Hannah, sometimes you got to buy merch. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you got to buy that merch. Sometimes you got to buy.

All right. Oh, man. Who made that work for us? My tangent. Who knew? If anybody has an Oakland Raiders yarmulke, by the way, send us your photos. Seriously. We want to see it. We want to see your Oakland Raiders yarmulkes. Oh, all right. Now Jess comes home. Wait, wait, wait. Before we do that, this line right here, Schmidt's line is so telling of when we filmed this. He asked to be put on speaker so he could hear the workout.

And I'm like, oh, we didn't have FaceTime. Yeah, that's true. It's a tell. Tiny tells. And they're all tech related. Isn't that funny? Those tiny tells. He goes, Knicks and jeans. And he goes, what's Knicks and jeans? What are Knicks and jeans? Another great line. Yep. All right. So Jess comes blazing in. She's so excited about what happened in Hot Food. She's like, now she's like hype. I can figure out the field trip. It's a double boonya.

And then, slip sliding under the door, another menu. F'n menu. F'n menu. So she sees the delivery guy. She starts chasing him. She gets him like, you don't need to leave any more menus. And then she chases the guy back to the van. And then she finds a Brian. Brian.

And then he's just like, I played you. I'm the boss. I don't care about conservation. I only care about the restaurant. Which, can I also say, fair. You're a small business. You're a restaurant. You're trying to go all city, paper the walls to be like, we exist. Please buy our food. And I was like, you're kind of not wrong, Brian. It's okay. He should have been able to give you your menus. But Jess is lit up and she's like, I'm going to report you to the city. That's the only reason why I haven't started a restaurant.

You know what I mean? Because I don't want to litter. The littering aspect. Yeah, that's not who I am. No, that's not your brand. Now, meanwhile, Coach is...

This is my favorite. This part was my favorite. Electronic music to warm up? Just because of Max, this is my favorite. Okay, say it. I can't. So, first of all, they start doing the head bop. Like, what's the... Roxbury. Night at the Roxbury. Which I thought was an iconic reference to one of the most iconic shows of all time. Speaking of which, Saturday Night is available now to buy or to rent online.

please go and watch it. They're yours truly. Oh, I should say this, by the way, if we're plugging the movie, because I'm happy to plug all the things. Everybody knows how much I love Canada. I love a little place called Salt Spring Island. They have one movie theater there called the Fritz Theater.

And they're playing your movie. That's a no. Oh, shout out to my friends. Oh, so everybody on the island, go run and buy the tickets. It's a good one. Putting on a fritz. Putting on a fritz. Whoa. Lily just showed up from school. Hi, baby. Hey, love. You want what? Oh, okay. I'll be out there in a second, okay? I'll be out there in a second, mama. I'm not mommy. I'm daddy.

But I could put a wig on if that makes you feel more comfortable. I could Michael Jackson my skin if that makes you... Anyway. Where are we? Oh, yeah. So Coach is playing electronic music to warm up. Nick and Coach start bouncing around. And Schmidt can hear the music from down the hallway as he's cleaning the fridge and starts to dance. One of the most Max...

That makes it into the show and becomes iconic Schmidt. And he can't fault them for the track. Cause it's a great workout track. Great workout track. Um, now Nick is progressively getting worse at pushups and jumping rope. Cece then walks in with a bunch of Chinese food that she thought Jess needed. Nick lets her know that it was him who needed it for his post-workout meal. Um,

Then this is interesting. This could be what you alluded to earlier. This is the start of something because he leaves CeCe and Coach alone for the first time. And...

Then it gets awkward. It's so funny. And I'm sure you will agree with me. The hardest thing when you have a one-on-one scene with Damon is not breaking. Because it's his whole goal. And he will get so weird and big that...

With how he uses his voice and his eyes. And it's really hard. And Cece's whole thing is like, she's just, she's so stone cold. She's seen it all. Like, it doesn't faze her. But Hannah...

Is dying inside. No doubt, no diggity. And then does the squat. Bye. I wonder if that ever worked for, I'm sure it does. When you go to the gym and you just make eye contact with somebody while you're doing squats. 911, are you joking? If somebody was doing a squat and looked and then held eye contact, I, no, I'd move. I'd leave. I'd leave. I'd leave the state. If a woman did that to me, I'd marry her.

Well, there you go. Ladies, now you know. You want to marry Lamorne? Go to his gym. Look him right in the eye and do squats. Look me in my soul. And you're going to get that ring.

I love that Nick comes back and then tips Cece $4. Can you imagine? Would you have settled for $10? I was about to say, if it was more actually, it probably would have been fine. It's the $4 that's problematic. I'll take free money. That's okay. But I do love how you go, did you just tip me as you walk off with the money? You're like, I'm going to keep it. Yeah, but like, what? Yeah.

This whole Nick sneaking a dumpling in the middle of the workout. Genius. Claiming it's a protein boost is so funny. I think it was like one tiny line in the script and they were just like, and I think that they just wouldn't stop. Damon and Jake wouldn't stop. And then it became this super funny moment. Oh, it's too good. Too good. Now, Jess, she walks back in, she lets the boys know that she's going to research lawsuits in her room. And that's what...

And that's when Winston, he wheels into the living room with a found wheelchair. I can't. The wheelchair he found. You know what I find to be really funny? Winston found that wheelchair, but wasn't that his Ford that they were driving in?

That really nice car where he like waves his foot underneath it. So Winston has enough money to buy a brand new Ford with all this cool technology. But his ankle was like wrapped up with actual like tape, with duct tape. And he has a wheelchair that he found in a dumpster with a trick wheel. Oh, yeah.

He, what? This man ain't got insurance. No, it doesn't make any sense. Also, can I ask you something? Just like low key as an actor that was on a show that like had a lot of hours. Um, weren't you like a little bit happy that you got to sit in the wheelchair? Yeah.

Oh, and I got to do stuff like that? Absolutely. It's so nice. People got to push me around. Sit down the whole scene? Just going to sit here? Yeah. And I don't have any cues. I don't have to walk here, walk here like somebody else is doing. Someone else got to push you. That's their job to do my stage work. And imagine what Kevin McHale from Glee felt like. His character was in a wheelchair. I know. Or Drake from Degrassi. I never thought about it. Wheelchair Jimmy. Wheelchair Jimmy. Mm-hmm.

I love that he loves it though. Like, I love that he honors that so much. He's like done, went back to Degrassi, like knows all the people. I was like, I love that he loves it. Listen, it's his origin story. You know, new girl is, is, is, uh, for a lot of us, our origin story. And clearly we love it. Look at what we're doing right now. Wheelchair Winnie. Hmm. Wheelchair Winnie. No. Wheelchair Winnie. We gotta make t-shirts. Um,

This is a big revelation. Big revelation is happening. This part. Oh, when Winston eats some food and he starts to freak out. Why? Because he is allergic to MSG. Aha. This is where Jess thinks she has them. Right by the gonads. Peanuts. Yeah. She said this menu has no MSG on it. And it turns out that's a lie.

So she's like, I got him. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Now we're going to come back to that. But Nick says that he isn't like coach. He's like, I want this dumpling. Okay. Coach, I understand what you're trying to do, but I'm not like you. He's a dumpling guy. And he shoves it in his mouth. Yeah. But much to his chagrin, it is a veggie dumpling. And he feels like he just wasted his time. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. And Schmidt is still sad that he is missing things that are happening in the loft. So Jess and Winston, they leave. They flee the scene. They're going to go to Hopfu. Well, they didn't leave. Jess left and just...

takes Winston. She took him. You've been kidnapped. Yeah, she took him. Which is okay. I guess I'll go along for the ride if you're going to take me. Literal ride. Yeah. Like, Vegas is a long ways away, but if somebody else is going to drive, like, cool. That's always what I said, too. I'm like, I'll go. I'll drive. Now, they're pretty pissed off. Well, Jess is pretty pissed off. Winston loves the food, though, but he just can't really talk. My favorite part of this is...

When Jess is like trying to point at it, she goes, aha, there's no MSG with the circle. What is that thing? Yeah. There's a Ghostbusters thing. Ghostbusters thing everywhere. Oh, shout out to Ghostbusters. Now, she addresses the whole restaurant to let them know.

This restaurant is putting poison in the food. It's putting all kinds of bad stuff in the food. And then Winston asks if those crispy noodles on the table. Read the room. Read the room, Winnie. Wheelchair Winnie. Read the room. Now,

This is the only time they've gone this route, right? With, again, thinking that this might be a thing that we'd see Coach do more often. But he's on the couch making Caribbean beats on a keyboard. I'm so sad it's the only time that they did this. The only time we see this. Because they could have been a whole album. You know, like the Elations. The Pure Mood CD. Elations. Elations. Elations.

So, yeah. So he's making Caribbean beats on his keyboard. And he wanted to prove to himself that he could still be coach. Because ever since his breakup with Malia, he hasn't been able to do anything right. Yeah, it wasn't about Nick. Coach was about coach. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. And then comes the illegal activity. Well, Schmidt puts a clock that he found and he thought it'd be neighborly. He came over to set it up for him. But Nick sees the alarm clock. It has a camera on it.

And he has Schmidt if he's trying to spy on them. And he plays dumb, but he is. He's missing out. He's got that FOMO. It is the worst to think all your friends are hanging out without you and all this weird stuff is happening and no one's even a mole, kind of at least just telling you. You're fully iced out.

And it's your own doing is brutal. Yeah. At that age, like at that period of your life, brutal. Yeah. And that's what Nick is telling them. He's like, hey, man, you chose to move out. That's right. You chose it. You know, and Schmidt's like, I got a very important coffee meeting. With who? He can't figure it out. He doesn't have a name.

And this is when we go again. And then he starts playing. He starts making fun of his pants again. Tiny pants, man. You don't have friends.

This feels also like he made up the song. I'm sure he did. I'm sure he made that. This feels like a Damon. Because it wasn't, this song was not in the script. Yeah, yeah. He absolutely made that. So either it was pitched to him or he sang it. But it was perfect. Oh, yes. Now, Jess tells Brian that she's going to. Oh, this was brutal. This part, I was like, you guys wrote this episode so well.

Because I forgot this part because I was like, also the truth. Like, it's such an honest episode. This is what would happen. Like, think about it because it's a very, I say this gently, but this is a very light Karen-esque episode.

Oh, absolutely. Like that's kind of what it is to sit there and be like, I don't like it. I care about the earth. Get rid of these menus. Then try to blow up the spot and to do a whole thing and not realize the consequences. Cost people their jobs. That's right. Of what you're actually, what it looks like to make this thing that's annoying you,

What it actually looks like. That's right. Because Jess tells him that she's going to drive away all his customers unless he stops delivering the menus. He agrees. And so he fires Charles, the menu delivery guy. Boom. Fires him on the spot. Poor Jess. Well, not poor Jess. Poor Charles, actually. Poor Charles. Poor Charles. Poor Charles. He's got seven kids. Backstory for Charles now. Let's go. Three baby mamas. Seven kids. Come on now.

Eight baby mamas. Eight baby mamas. Three kids. Somebody lying to you, Charles. Now, Schmidt is finally having coffee with that person he said he was going to have coffee with. And surprise, it's outside Dave. Outside Dave. Also, this was one line in the script. One. And of course, whatever he's on the show. He can't help himself. He's a genius. He can't. He tells Schmidt that, you know, that his friends have moved on.

And Jess comes back and tells Nick that he was right. She got a man fired and Winston ran over a lizard with his wheelchair. Life is happening really fast to these guys right now. You know, she joins coach on the couch. And this is what I say. Another one of those moments where I'm like, coach was just dropping like Damon was just dropping Damon isms all over the place. Cause I'm like,

As they're eating, at one point, he drops noodles. I think he even says it. I couldn't quite hear if he did it. He said, oh, I dropped something on my penis. And he leans down to eat the noodles. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's all him. That was definitely not pitched or written. I'm going to go on a limb there. So, so funny. Yeah.

And now Nick gets to be the coach. Yeah, because now they're sitting there slumming it. They're just, Damon at one point is pouring the soy sauce directly into his mouth. He's calling it a food, like a Chinese food, where he's sticking different foods in his mouth at the same time. Very Montreal-like. And Schmidt comes barging in, obviously. And he admits defeat.

They won. He misses being there. Finally, he said it. And Winston wheels in with toilet paper connected to his chair. I mean... This is so stupid. The things that happen to you in this episode and the next episode are...

Some real core Winston moments. And I love how this one wraps up where Jess figures it out. Aha. She's got that aha moment. She knows how she's going to cover these transportation costs to get these kids to the ocean. She uses the Hapfu delivery van to take all these badass kids to the water. Nick says it feels pretty good making a difference. This slide too. I can't.

They crush him. So good in fact that he wants to run. He runs towards the ocean. Coach chases after him. Winston tries to wheelchair in the sand and obviously falls over. And then Jess, she gives Schmidt his key back. He says that it's just a copy. He's got 50 at home. Okay, wait, but we missed this one part and it's my favorite thing. When Jess...

When the student gives the hot dog hat to Jess and she's like, this really belongs to Nick because he made it happen. And the student goes, is that your dad? One of my favorite lines. Just destroy you in a moment. Someone asked me recently, they're like, oh my God, do you still cut your own bangs? Destroyed me in the moment. I was like...

Do you? What do you mean by that? This is terrible. Or a compliment? But kind of terrible because you're asking and you're looking at them. I don't have to cut my bangs. They just went away. Oh, God. God, dear. Now, crew your bangs.

All right. And of course, this happens to you, by the way, multiple times on this show. Yeah, I think twice. Twice they've done this to you on this show, which is crazy. Never happened to the rest of us. But they try to bury Winston alive in the sand. Yeah. Why? It's so strange. What are they trying? I don't know. I was with you in the scene later on where they did it. And I remember it being...

I was terrified for you. They like literally covered you in sand to give you a straw to breathe out of. And I was like, what show are we making? Yeah, that one right there was insane. But that was like a makeshift sandbox at least. Yeah. On stage. But still, what? It was weird. Come on, guys. I wouldn't do that now. I'm an Emmy Award winner. So I don't do my own stunts. So sexy on your fake couch. Yeah, I don't do my own stunts anymore. Okay, let's go to break. Had it. When we come back, we're going to mess around. Let's go. Don't tell your husband.

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Heads up, if you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. Mmm, so crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning. Mmm. If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mac's crispy quesadillas in the frozen aisle. Here's to the holidays, to the smell of grandma's fresh-baked casseroles, to bundling up by the fire with family and football.

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Babe. Yeah, babe. What is the topic of the day? Working out, right? I mean, you really went on a big fitness journey. And we're going to talk about your workout journey. So did you. So did you. So did I. We had the same trainer. And by the way, my two little workout journeys are both because of you. This is like the domino effect of somebody being like, this feels really great to me. So you started working out at...

Can I say it? Up? Yeah, up. Ultimate performance. And then so did...

My brother. So did my husband. Like, you really, like, kick-started it because you showed results. Like, it was really amazing. And then so did I. And then I was traveling and a bunch of things, whatever. And then I was like, I need a trainer, another trainer. And then I met Hannah Joy through you, who is a sick trainer. And that all, though, came from you, like, doing the work, came from, like, a real place, right? Where you're like, I need to turn this whole thing around. Yeah.

Yeah. And it had a real big impact on your physical and mental health. Well, 100 percent. You're just a lot more pissed off and angry every day. But besides that, Eddie can take it. Oh, my gosh. Like he gives it to he's the best. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a really funny meathead. Shout out to Eduardo, the Romanian, the Romanian asshole. So what's the craziest fitness craze you've tried?

This is it. This is what we're talking about. That's the craziest one that I've tried. It's really intense, but it's really great. Yeah, I've gotten results. I've dropped 40 pounds in four months, which I feel like I could have done more because there are different parts. There are different moments in that when I was being lazy and not necessarily following the exact caloric deficit diet. But at one point I just went,

Like, like insanely focused. And so I went from, yeah, I went from about 195 to about 155. Something like that. Yeah. Something, something in that ballpark. And grew strong. Like they're all about strength. Yeah. Oh yeah. I could punch a hole through a wall. But when I do, my hand hurts. The knuckles. It's the knuckles. Okay. Chinese food.

New York versus L.A. Who has the best Chinese food? I've never really had Chinese food in New York. So you could answer this probably better than me. I feel like Chinese food in New York was popular in the 80s.

In the 90s. For some reason, I always feel like when you watch movies that took place in New York in the 80s and 90s, people were eating Chinese food. Here's what we'll say. Everybody's in New York. Drop us the spots for the best Chinese food in New York. L.A. Drop us the spots because I'd like to know. I love Chinese food. So I'm going to go ahead and say New York because New York has some of the best food in the world. You know, different cultures of people, you know, L.A. is going to fight you.

I mean, listen, I don't care. I live here. And let me tell you something. L.A. Are you kidding me for real right now? It's a very bougie food scene. I mean, the food is good when you go to like these like these incredible chefs that like do incredible things. And they open up a shop that a store that is so bougie that you can't really get into it. And you got to like know a person who knows a person who knows a person. But in New York, I feel like you can get the best damn sandwich at a bodega on the corner.

But in L.A., it's like a line around the block. Oh, my God. So Hollywood. So bougie. You know, L.A. knows. Y'all know how bougie y'all get. You know, I've been here 16 years. And let me tell you something. When they go, oh, this new restaurant opened. I hear the soapbox screeching under your feet. Stand up. Let them know. I don't give a damn. No matter what I've achieved in my life, they still treat you in some of these restaurants like a piece of shit.

That's true. I'm just going to say it. That's true. There is a look of like, who are you? Yeah. That's true. New restaurant open. They did that to me last night. Literally last night. And I love going to this place. Chateau Marmont. I love going to Chateau. I love it. I love it. And we had the GQ Man of the Year party yesterday. And so me and a buddy, we leave the party and we want to go have a drink next door at Chateau Marmont. And the guy is just like, sorry. He didn't even let me...

Like, he didn't care. I just walked up and I was like, he's like, sorry, reservations only. And I'm looking at him one like, how do you know I don't have a reservation? And I said, and I was like, oh, no, we just want to go to the bar and have a drink. He's like, yeah, sorry. It's just reservation only. And then paparazzi comes up, take pictures. They asked me for a little autograph situation. Go boom, boom, boom. And he was still just kind of like, he just walked away. And I said, hey, man, we just want to get a drink. He's like, hey, who you with?

So I grabbed my buddy and he's like, yes, him? He's like, yeah, you're fine. I was like...

What in the Hollywood was that? All right, you guys. Menus. I wonder if Chateau delivers menus. Menus, menus, menus. What a great, funny, weird episode. We got to see the love story of the boys trying to work out. We watched a B story flip to an A story. A Bay story, if you will. That was a good one. And by Trent. That's why it's also like Trent, Matt, Alex.

like the powerhouses yeah thanks for listening guys thank you for listening for sure please please follow us on ig at the mess around pod and as always we'll be back next week with episode 309 longest night ever peace

That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.

This holiday season, surprise everyone on your list with the best gifts. Tickets to see their favorite artists live. Choose from thousands of concerts and comedy shows, including Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige, Matt Matthews, Metallica, Thomas Rhett, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Sarah Silverman, and so many more. Share a memory together.

or give a gift they'll never forget. Find the most exciting gift for every fan at LiveNation.com slash gifts. That's LiveNation.com slash gifts. How crispy are the new Deli-Mex crispy quesadillas? Let's see. I'm going to pop one in the microwave. Yeah, Deli-Mex crispy quesadillas are crispy even from a microwave. I can already smell it. Heads up, if you hate loud crunching, you might want to mute. Mmm, so crispy. Like, barely hear myself think crispy. These should come with a warning.

If this crispiness is making you hungry, get to your closest grocery store for Deli Mac's crispy quesadillas in the frozen aisle. Here's to the holidays, to the smell of grandma's fresh baked casseroles, to bundling up by the fire with family and football.

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