305: The Box
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We're fair to say we're both in a little bit of a funk, right? Yes. I will say, you know, bright moment of my day is when I get to hang out with you and call it work. And the fact that we're doing this episode today called The Box. And I'm sorry, I don't know if this like dates us or whatever, but I am unable to hear The Box without immediately going.

Say it, Lamar. What's in the box? What's in the box? Was that from Seven? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I auditioned for that movie. No, you did not. Man, I must have been 10 when that came out. You auditioned to be the head.

That was going to be the head in the box. You got to break it to this business somehow. You know what I mean? Could you be Gwyneth Paltrow's stand-in head? We need you to do auditions. Hold up. We see a few issues in this casting. Oh, my gosh. That's so funny. It's really wild to me. Like, you think about movies that just, like, stay in your brain. I've only watched that movie once because it's, I mean, traumatic.

And it's crazy. Here we are doing like a new girl episode that happens to be called The Box. Has nothing to do with the severed head. And every time I saw it, I was like, The Box! What's in The Box? Well, I'm willing to bet that some, perhaps Rob, Rob Roselle who wrote this episode, named it or titled it The Box because they are a fan of the film. For sure. There's no way to write The Box as the title of your episode and not know

that you're hearing, you know, Brad Pitt's voice. Yeah. I mean, I always see Brad Pitt's voice anyway, so. It's silky. It's silky. All right. Speaking of silky tones, you want to give us a rundown of this episode?

Absolutely. In this episode, Nick inherits $8,000 from his late dad. Now, this triggers Jess to help Nick out after discovering his box is full of bills and debt. Now, meanwhile, Schmidt is trying to convince himself that he is a good person.

This leads him down a dangerous path that involves a bike crash, getting beat up by rabbis, and candelabras. Now lastly, Winston is on a mission to get back the $1,900 Nick owes him by any means necessary. Sliders, anyone? I will say I did not remember this episode at all. I remember this episode. I remember this episode.

Yeah, I just remember a moment where he's like, I just remember the Winston asking him for money. I just remember, I think this is twice. I think this is another episode where I'm asking Nick to give me my money back. So this is multiple occasions I want to say that he owes me money.

I will say this. I found the draft of this episode and I was kind of reading along while I was watching. And at some point, to be very honest with you, I stopped because so much had been changed. So much had been changed. And we had episodes like that where you would do a table draft and then you'd get to shoot and you're like, whoa, this is very different.

So it went through a lot of notes, I guess, to kind of refine it. And then it was also in a lot of different order. Like they moved scenes around. And I don't know if they did that in the edit, like in post, or if that was just what we were doing on like the day, like they knew the order of it. But this episode, it feels like was a real work in progress. And we definitely had a few of those over the series, but this was one of them. 100%. 100%. Yeah. For all those folks out there, it's never, I mean, it's,

A good percentage of the time they're retooling scenes. You write it one way and when you shoot it, you start to figure out that, you know, it probably makes more sense if this episode or if this scene goes later in the episode because it makes the story flow better or makes the story make more sense. And there are actual times in which we will shoot episodes and then place the episodes much later down the season line.

just because it makes more sense with the flow of things. And this is one of those episodes where, you know, the script is not matching quite right with what we actually, what actually made it to air. Yeah, actually they would do that. I feel like every so often, every season we would shoot something, it's called like a box episode, right? Where it was like not really connected to the overall storylines of the series, but they could then place it anywhere.

and it would make sense. And they would just give us some ridiculous high stakes scenario. So it would distract from the ongoing storylines. And I feel like that was something they would always have in their back pocket. We did that in quite a few seasons. We were like, oh, this is just like a fun one where we're all locked in the loft together doing something weird. And it was just like a box episode. But this is not a box episode, but this was definitely one that went through a lot of rewrites. I feel like to get called the box. Yeah.

This technically is a box episode still. All right, let's dive in. Let's dive in because that scene, by the way, how this opens up really with like someone at the door with a bag of cash made me laugh. It was such a funny opening. The handful of dollar bills was so funny. Also, like Nick Miller's dream scenario.

Oh, yeah. First of all, when the guy showed up to the door, Nick should have got excited immediately. He should have been like, yes, this is what I've been expecting in this loft. This is my style. But actually, he got a little nervous. He got a little nervous. He couldn't figure out which way to run. And he panicked. That was also the funniest thing, because you also know it's an actor, the choice of it. Right. This is the thing. How well we know our show. He didn't move off his mark.

Right. Because obviously it was maybe like a long shoot week or something, but he did not move off his mark. He did a fake run and then stayed right there because I think he was worried to be actually like did a run. Then they would have to like pan. Yeah, exactly. They'd have to cover it from a different angle. So he's like, but it worked out. It looks so funny. The funny choice to be a time-saving actor made me laugh because I feel like that was what was really going on.

Well, the man gives him a bag, a brown paper bag, and inside of that brown paper bag, $8,000 in cash left by his dad. And the funny part about that moment is there's two things. One, they throw the money in the air and Winston is screaming, you're rich. You know, I mean...

you know I would call eight thousand dollars making a person rich maybe in the 1920s who knows or the 1820s but um but the funny another funny part about that moment is when the guy just bolts out of there he just runs the shadiest situation in the world because you know what my first thought was man there was 10 in that bag

Yeah, I know. Say $8,000. It's $10 in there. That's a weird number. That's a weird number. We can't round it up, round it down. What are we doing here, buddy? Feels like you're running fast. Your pocket's looking fat. That was my theory on that. My fan theory on that. Well, listen, that's just a logical theory because if somebody gave me, somebody passed away, gave me a duffel bag with 10 grand in it. That's right. And then said, can you go give this to my son upon my death?

Yeah, he's going to get eight grand because, you know, there's a traveler's fee. This is our theory. I wonder if anybody else agrees with us. But that was my immediate thought. I was just like, eight grand. Come on now. Traveler's fee. Traveler's fee. That's right. Traveler's fee. What's funny about this as well is that immediately they're at the mall.

Yeah. He's getting his. And I love this because in certain films, you'll see what a person feels in a shopping spree. They just have a thousand bags with them and they're doing the dumbest stuff, like getting a massage at the mall. The $15 massage. The $15 massage. Yeah. And he's balling out. He's balling out. Now, I think I think we I mean, you know, it's a comedy and you got to be extreme. But if you gave me $8,000, I'm just going to.

There's two options. It's either put it in the bank or go to a strip club. Those are your two options? Yeah, one is saving and one's charity. You know what I mean? If you need a charity, come over here. I'll declare myself one. You drop that money off to me. I don't want to see you like that, Hannah. Oh my God. Okay, we are off the rails today. Okay.

I don't know why I'm laughing so much. Okay. So Winston, now this is interesting because he gets all this money and he immediately, in Winston's face, is blowing it on everything. Ridiculous stuff. Ridiculous stuff. Everything but paying Winston back his $1,900. Yeah, and so Jess is like, listen, just ask him directly for your money. To which Winston... Laughs. Laughs.

- This is also a very telling reaction. - Oh yeah, that means like this conversation has happened. You know what I mean? - That's right. - He knows he owes me money. Yeah, so Jess tells Winston that he doesn't have to con Nick out of the money since he's already owed it. He can just ask him. - That's right, it's your money. - You know what I mean? Now back at the loft, Nick's put his new portrait on the shelf.

And has surrounded it with crystals. Jess tells him, hey man, just open up a bank account. And he says that. A bank account. A bank account is this, just with like fancy walls around it. It's just a paper bag with fancy walls around it. And this is when she spies...

Dun dun dun. The box. Here's the thing that's interesting. I just watched Nobody Wants This on Netflix. Such a great show. It's really great. But in one of the episodes, Kristen Bell's character finds the box for Adam Brody's character. But it's all full of stuff from his ex.

Right. And so I just had assumed because I just watched that series that like when this episode called the box and just finds the box, that that's what this was. And I loved it so much because usually that's what it is. Someone has like a keepsake box of like memories or whatever. And there can be some weird stuff in there. And it's just unpaid bills that he can't be bothered to pay is such a fun comedy twist because

Because I feel like we've seen the other version of that before. And the fact that it's also, I feel like if it was,

stuff from whatever ex-girlfriends just would be not as stressed as seeing a box full of unpaid bills, which is so funny. It's like perfect for each character and something different in the world of comedy, which I thought was like, I was like, whoa, I didn't realize that's what was going to be in the box. I thought it was going to be like stuff from Caroline or something. Oh yeah. No, no, no. It's, it's Nick Miller. Yeah. Yeah.

It's bills. Unpaid bills. And, you know, he doesn't think he doesn't think that he should have to pay these bills. He's adamant about that. He's like, what do you want me to do? Go to the doctor for a checkup as well? Yeah, man.

Yeah, you probably should, bro. These are these are parts of life that you need to engage in for your financial and personal health. Oh, yeah. Now, meanwhile, Schmidt Schmidt is on the couch. Schmidt is still in his feelings. He he thinks he's a terrible person.

He's in a therapy session, right? He's sitting on the couch and he's talking to someone and he says that he started his day by listening to a techno song and then cried immediately afterwards. His tweets have been extremely liberal, is what he said. And then you realize he's talking to a rabbi played by John Lovitz. The greatest rabbi.

This, by the way, I did find these scenes between Max and John. And, um...

You can just tell one, how much they enjoyed each other for sure, because there was so much improv, so much improv. I don't even put that down to an alt pack. I can just feel like John would just say things in the way he wanted to say it or add a little bit to the top of it. But there was so much that they played with in it. And I think that's why that dynamic got so much time. Like they gave them more time in the episode because it was like comedy gold. The two of them. Oh yeah. You have to.

Yeah.

got to give tommy davidson more stuff to do and it's like yeah we do and next thing you know they're writing like more bits and more things for someone like that to do when you got a john lovitz on your show it's the same thing you know what i mean like it it seems like on the page a small character but like when they open it up it becomes a very memorable character

we're having like a legend come in, right? For like, what is a small role? You're like in the B story as the rabbi. And it's always just like a credit. I feel like to Liz and to Jake Kazan and to Brett and Dave and just like their network of friends who basically were like, Oh,

Like Parker Posey, you know, just being like, okay, I'll come and do this tiny character on your show is not normal. Usually that would be like, yeah, it'd be written all around you. And it's like, what makes this new girl universe always find like so amazing? I didn't realize that John Lovitz was in this episode. And of course he comes in and like stares

steals this episode by just being so brilliant and funny and improv-ing and giving Mac so much to work with. Anyway, it was great. I was so shocked when I saw him because, again, I didn't remember this episode. So it was just like, no way he's the rabbi right now. And what is Schmidt saying?

to him. But he's basically on this big quest. And this is why I say cheaters never win. Because even if you get away with it, quote unquote, you carry it on your conscience. And this is what's happening to Schmidt right now. He is now in crisis if he thinks he's a good person. And so he needs someone to tell him and reassure him that he is. So he's gone to his rabbi.

And you think that after the advice the rabbi gives him, you would think that he hit a turn, like he took a turn for the better. The rabbi lets him know that he needs to start thinking about the needs of other folks, not just himself. And then he has this eureka moment. He's like, huh, okay, okay.

Then he's walking and he witnesses a biker crash. And he starts in the biker played by the fantastic Derek Waters created the show Drunk History. One of my favorite shows of all time. Oh, yeah. I did an episode of that show. It's so fun. And the guy's choking on gum.

you know, Schmidt. And I love that Schmidt reprimands him first. His first instinct is to go, idiot, are you biking? And he did before he goes into hero mode. Exactly. And then he does. I never want to be in this situation. I never want to witness somebody choking and have to give him the Heimlich maneuver, you know, because I don't want to. I don't I, you know, I mean, I want to save their lives.

But like, you know, maybe it don't work out. And then next thing I know, I'm the...

Well, you can't really practice the Heimlich, like real practice. You can't just take another human, be like, so this is the thing, and this is the sternum or whatever. Let me now just punch you in it just so I can make sure I'm ready in a scenario. So really, anytime you perform the Heimlich, it's like the first time, and the stakes are pretty high. Yeah, I don't want to do it either. That's a hard pass for me. No, no, no.

That's a pass. Yeah, so he performs it and then the gum comes flying out of his mouth and then immediately Schmidt stands up to the world. He's realizing this is exactly what I need.

And then, you know, he calls them to rejoice in a song in the middle of the street. He starts singing. I don't know the name of the song. Shmai Israel. Yeah. I guess it feels like a holy song. He starts to sing and celebrate. But the biker's still like technically dying. Yeah. And he needs to go. Call 911.

Which is really funny because even if you do something good, he's making it about himself. And he's like, that's it. I've done it. I'm a good person. I've saved a life. Now this man's about to die. Yes, probably. We need to follow up on what happened to this guy. Now back in Nick's room, Jess...

in typical Jess fashion, is going against everything Nick has requested of her. And she is now inside of this man's box. I love that moment, by the way, where she like sneaks into his room, gets the box, and then you just see the box shoot across the hallway from

from Nick's room to Jess's room. And then you just see her run as fast as humanly possible, separate from the box, so shoo, over. I was like, that was a beautiful moment of direction. That was such a funny little like caper-like vibe. I love that. - Oh yeah, well, 100%. - So she's secretly paying the bills.

Which is like so funny and so terrible to like spend someone else's cash. Yeah. What if I didn't want to spend it on that? Yeah. Well, clearly he doesn't. He does not. Right. And here's the other thing I was thinking about. If I look around in certain parts of my office, for example, there are bills that are just that are just lying around. Mm hmm.

Here's the thing. Those bills have been paid. I just keep forgetting to throw away the actual envelope and the things that it comes in because I'm on automatic pay, but they still send like a physical copy of it. And what if that's what was happening? What if Nick had paid those bills? And here she is sending cash in the middle of the mail.

You know what, by the way, I wouldn't put it past him. Do you know what I'm saying? To have had paid a bill and kept it and think and like double pay or something. This is why they don't need to send it. Just don't send it. This is all should, first of all, the trees. Don't do it. We don't need the paper copy anymore. The world has moved on. I don't need it. I can tell them I don't need it. I know. I've always switched to like the, you know, like, I don't want the paper statements. E-statements, thank you so much. And yet...

They still keep showing up. They keep showing up. I don't know why they do that. It is very weird. Maybe they're an automatic send. They're like, we just love killing trees. So sorry. All right. Where are we? Oh, gosh. So we're in the living room. Winston has made sliders for him and Nick. Then in the spirit of brotherhood, he asks Nick to repay him.

And to this day, I use this term. To this day, because of this episode, he stands up in anger and claims that because he's made a little money now, Winston is coming out of the woodward. And Winston's like,

Woodward? He goes, you mean woodwork? He goes, what's a woodwork? He goes, it's woodward. Oh, man. That was a super funny back and forth, too. When every single time they let a moment of confusion in the English language on this show go, like, back and forth and let it breathe, like, family guy style, it makes me laugh so hard. And it usually has to do with, like, Nick Miller's brain.

having learned something a certain way and everybody getting thrown. Just like that episode where it was Nick and Jess in the bathroom, where he talked about minutes or something like that. And then she just was like, hold on, listen, I'm dealing with something important, but we must discuss this. You cannot walk through the world saying that or being that. And this is the Woodward situation too, which is like, what? That's not a thing. Yeah, 100%. It's what makes the character funny.

Funny! He is silly and sometimes stupid. But just then Jess walks into the situation and with no choice, she agrees with Nick when it comes to staying out of his box. Nick states he's going to the bar to blow off some steam, as one does, well, as Nick does. And then Jess agrees that it is a good idea that he does so. Nick says that she's the only one that he trusts.

That's key there. That's the worst feeling. That is the worst feeling when you know now. You're already too deep. You've spent all the money. You've mailed cash.

Mm hmm. What a choice. One. That's no bills being paid. If you mail cash, it's going to be like the same guy who dropped off the cash. I'm going to open the bill, take out that cash and be like unpaid. Yes. Oh, yeah. And then and then. So she goes back in there to try to fix things. And then guess who catches her in the room? The Bish. The Bish. The Bish catches her and.

Jess tells Winston that it is so much worse than she thought. Like, why does he need to have the deed for an old Mercury Cougar in there? Then you flashback to the younger version of Winston, Nick and Schmidt, and Nick says, the car is done.

But Winston, Winston, you know, you know, he's a smart guy sometimes when he's not being stupid. He blackmails Jess, you know, and he will keep his mouth shut if she pays him the money that Nick owes him.

this i remember there's a meme of this i want to say there's a gif that of this particular moment when she pins him up against the wall and then starts slapping slapping him a few times and then asks how much money he owes him um every time i see that meme i remember uh this particular episode um because there's so many episodes and you forget about specific moments but this is a big moment because

This is one of the first times you see her get aggressive. Yeah. Like, she is, like, hitting him. Me. You know? Physical violence is not something you associate with Jessica Day. No, but she did it. And...

Very out of character. It's so funny to see her turn that left because now she has to be the one, right? Because she gave that advice. She was the one who gave the advice and it's come back to bite her in the ass where she's like, just ask. All you have to do is ask. And now she's the one holding the purse strings and he knows it. And so he just asks. And that's hysterical. I love those full circle moments where you're like, this is why you shouldn't have gotten involved, Jess. Now you're in it.

Exactly. Now, Nick's at the bar. He's drunk, obviously. He says he doesn't understand money. Gold, sure, because it's shiny. And it can be made into jewelry. You realize Nick is talking to this drunk guy at the bar who tells him, for $50, I'll show you my private parts.

You know what's funny is that when I was reading along, I found this scene, and it's pretty much as scripted, but they cut the scene for what they aired, and it did end with Nick turning to the guy when he's alone at the bar, and he goes, so you said 50? Yeah.

Didn't make it on the show, but that made me laugh when I was reading it. I was like, "Oh, that shit is fake. That's so funny." Too far. Maybe it's too far, but I thought it was really funny. That's what I remember about the actual script because when I watched it, in my mind, I was waiting for the bit where he turns around and says, "Ditto." So you said 50 or can you show me? I was waiting for that moment, but it didn't happen.

And Schmidt walks into the bar. Nick tells him that this money issue is tearing him apart. Schmidt suggests that he should just give it all the way to a charity, a mitzvah.

And then, yeah, Schmidt is very excited. He's on this high because he did just save a man's life today. Randomly enough, Derek Waters is one of Jake Johnson's best friends. I mean, that's the origin story for Drunk History, right? Yeah, him and Jake. Him and Jake were either workshopping an idea or being drunk and talking about history. He's one of the two.

I feel like this might not be right. I feel like Jake's talked about this somewhere, so someone can fact check this for me. But I feel like what Jake told me was him and Derek were hanging out and had a few bevvies. And Jake was telling him about, like, I want to say Otis Redding, who had some sort of interesting life or whatever. And it was kind of like a messily told story, but very interesting story.

And and then Derek recorded it and then basically took that to Comedy Central and was like this. I think this could be something like let me try to make this into something. I feel like there is there's there's a negative truth of what I'm saying. I think that's I think that's right on. Oh, well, I guess I almost forgot. Do you have the new girl couch?

Yes, I do. You do. We were, we were, I was trying to look for it yesterday. No, we were there together. We were doing this shoot and they had us on a leather couch and everybody kept saying, is this the original couch? And I kept saying, no, I think Hannah has that couch. And they were like, and they were like, no, I think Liz has it. I said, no, I'm pretty sure Hannah has it. I have it. They were selling it on like a fan site. They were selling it on a fan site. And I called Aaron O'Malley.

one of our producers. And I was like, no way that they're just going to like sell this couch off. They were selling everything from the set, everything. And I was like, that's crazy. And I said, I'll buy it. And so I just, I bought it because I just thought that's, that's a wild thing. We should be. You didn't get it for free. No, I bought it because it was already up on this site for sale. So they couldn't like just give it to me at that point. Like it had gone through a company. So I bought it.

But here's what I noticed when I was actually watching yesterday, doing the rewatch, is that the couch is like so shiny. Like the leather is so like shiny and supple and soft. And now I'm looking at this couch that I've had for many years now. And I'm like, it looks a little dry. It's leather, Hannah. You got to take care of it. I don't take care of a leather couch. I'm supposed to like oil it?

Yeah, there are leather moisturizers that you use to keep a couch. Moisturize the couch. But here's what I thought. I thought one day, maybe in season four, season five of this podcast, as we continue to grow and we build this little set that we do our podcast from, we should put that couch in it.

This should be happening on the couch. Like, let's be real. It should be on the couch, not over Riverside. But yes, I do have it. You were right. Yes, indeed. Jake owes me a thousand dollars.

-Ask him for the money. -Yeah. -Ask him for the money. So Schmidt's excited not because he saved someone's life, but because he's done something that he feels now that people have to say to him he is a good person because he saved a life. So again, his intentions around the whole thing and motivations is a whack attack.

Okay. Yes. So Schmidt goes and tells Nick like, Hey, I saved a good man's life. So I'm a good man now. Just say the words, say the words. Yeah. And Nick won't say it. He won't say it. No, it doesn't matter. You just happen to save someone's life. That doesn't all of a sudden change exactly like the structure of who you are. Right. Well, one of my favorite parts of this episode is when Jess goes to the city building, attempting to unpay the,

The parking ticket she paid for Nick and the woman behind the desk. Oh, my. So funny. She's so funny. Just like, you know, just void the checks. Just just lets her know that she paid cash because her boyfriend doesn't believe in banks. The relationship is still new, still shaving above the knee. Crazy. And she goes, I think she said something like, I'll let you know.

or something when it comes in and she's like, just call my... She's like, a text would be great. Yeah, a text would be great. She's like, snapping the... She's got the phone up here acting like she's texting. She didn't even flip it open. Also, the fact that it was a flip phone was also very funny. But she didn't even flip it open. She's just like on the close snap, just like moving her thumb. Oh, that's not...

now nick comes home drunk he tells winston that he's going to pay him back the money no it just it's interesting because he's already been paid back that's right and jess hears this it quickly runs into nick's room locking the door behind her now nick barges into the room and sees that his money bag is completely empty wow just comes clean and she says that she couldn't help herself she paid some of his bills

And Nick walks away, leaving Jess stuck under his bed to find interesting. How'd you get under there? Now you can't get out? I'm not the way you went in anyway. Sometimes you can't unslink the way you slinked, though. Sometimes you can arch your body in a certain way. I remember being a kid, and you could get yourself into all these weird little playing hide-and-seek and stuff. And then all of a sudden, you're like, oh, okay.

The coming out part, like I only get my leg out first and not my head out first and now I can't like move my, I can't torque my body to get out of the thing. Right. It's in pretty crazy hide and seek. So I kind of get it. I guess so. I guess so. Because whenever I go under bed, my butt for some reason just gets bigger. Um,

you just have like nine bags of cheetos under there you're like i don't know what it is but i can't get i've grown to the side of the bed hey man that salt bloat is real um um now then schmidt goes back earlier i said i wanted to see a follow-up on what happened with this guy i forgot that we actually do have yeah he goes to the hospital yeah he goes to the hospital to visit him uh just so he could ask him

If he's a good guy. He's like, I've seen him in your life. Can you tell me I'm a good guy? This is giving you all the information you need, Schmidt. The fact that you are now hitting this man up to reassure you. Right. It means you ain't a good guy. Come on. The biker's like, I don't really know you. And then after accidentally hitting the biker's broken leg, the biker finally admits, okay, Schmidt, he's a good person. We see next to him in a full cast is a guy who...

It's like, what happened to that guy? He got smoked by a bus while having a bake sale for cancer kids. It's like, oh no. But then Schmidt has a big light bulb moment because then the biker says, well, you know, bad things happen to good people all the time. Yeah. And then Schmidt's like, has the wrong epiphany. Like the absolute wrong epiphany where he's like, huh, why am I chasing this? It's fine. None of it makes sense. Great. And another funny part is that

When Schmidt running down the street had me dying laughing. But this is also like the height of Max's workout regimen. He's in all time shape. There's nothing. There wasn't a man in L.A. in more shape than Max Greenfield. He was the king of CrossFit. Oh, my God. And he was flying.

The way he ran was just like such a like that old school Tom Cruise Mission Impossible run. Like somebody has kidnapped your daughter. It's like an old school. You know what I mean? Like going to save your child. The stakes are high. They've got your wife trapped in a room and the run and these like karate chop hands. Yeah. Oh, 100%. 100%. Old school action movie run.

100%. Let's go to a quick break. And when we come back, we'll dive back into this episode, shall we? Let's go. Bye.

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Don't just pay. PayPal. Terms and limits apply. See paypal.com slash rewards pal. Cash back earned as points redeemable for cash and other options on up to $1,000 spend per month. The PayPal debit MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated and may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted. And we are back. Hannah. We're back. We're back. It's not happening. We have to cut this part out because every single time Lamorne's going to ask me this thing. We have to take out the bear. Well, it's in the next episode.

I know. There's so many bears this season. And it makes me crazy that this is the season I've decided not to like do the bear. But I am doing the bear. He says bear mitzvah. You know what? This is also like a little reverse psychology by you right now because now all of a sudden, look at you. You're finding bears first time when I've been like that. No, it was very obvious the last time. The next episode was just very obvious. Back at the loft.

We're back in the love. Jess apologizes to Nick. And this is also the thing about New Girl I love so deeply, right? Is they always find a way to talk about what it's really about. Comedy. And like a 22-minute comedy. They always get to actually like the meat of the thing, which is I think why people love this show so much, right? 100%. And he asks her why she feels the need to fix him. Yeah.

Yeah, he had a system. He liked his system. It's his money from his dad. Like, what's the motivation and why?

Yeah. I mean, there was a lot of different issues that he was dealing with as far as not paying his bills. That's right. And the type of paperwork that he had. So he started a corporation, fat face, thinking he was filing a patent. He has a fake lifeguard certification from a classic beach prank, which one does. He hasn't once done jury duty or paid his taxes and just lets him know, listen, I'm not trying to fix you. I'm just saying, man, you're in so much debt. I'm just...

I'm just trying to help you a little bit. Do you remember when he said his fake lifeguard certification was for? It's for this beach prank where he was going to be the lifeguard, but he doesn't know how to swim. That was the prank. He was going to sit there and watch people drown as a prank. This feels like such a Winnie the Bish stolen movie. Like it's one of those things where you're like, oh, these guys spent too much time together as friends. And at one point he was like, I'm going to try pranks. And he went too big.

Oh, 100 percent. That's exactly what it was. But then he flips it on her and he's like, I want to. He's like, what if I go through your box? He's like, not that, not that box, not that box. The other. I want that box. But let's talk about the other kind of box. And then he goes into Jess's room and starts going through her drawers and he finds all of this stuff. A drawer full of peanuts. Those are her night peanuts. Just peanuts for a night.

I also that was a very valid response. He's like, there's no day peanuts or night peanuts. They're peanuts. Which is so funny because you would think he would have a peanut drawer. But he does. He finds bobby pins. He calls them shiny or metal toothpicks or shiny toothpicks or something. Bobby's pins, bobby pins, bobby pins. Still a very big debate.

100%. Because Bobby has pins. But who is Bobby? He finds a bunch of yarn. He asks her if she's knitting a mansion. That was really funny. And vintage purses. And then he's like, they could be sexier. My purses need to be sexier? Which is such a funny response. And then he just starts going wild and chucking them out the window. Which is aggressive. But I guess she did mail all his cash. So I'm like, you know.

Yeah. One of them she said she bought for a nickel. So I kind of feel like when you worked it out in the wash, she kind of got, you know, she was she was spared. Now, now, after all that, she decides, you know what? I'm just going to write you a check. Yeah, I'm just going to write you a check. She writes him a check and then she leaves and she goes outside. You know, meanwhile, Schmidt barges into the classroom where his rabbi is teaching a class.

god runs in maybe some people are just winners and losers blows up a religious class for children just blows it all up so it all means nothing it's all a joke means i think it's a physical fight with the rabbi then gets other like rabbis like like sicked on him basically security rabbis security rabbi

The big ones. That was the funniest thing and watching the kids' faces. That was such a great scene. You know that probably took half a whole day to shoot because there was probably so much stuff. It's so funny. You got to keep going. You just got to keep rolling on that. And then, again, once Nick threw these purses out of the window, guess who caught them?

Outside Dave. He's wearing all of her purses. I feel like a pretty lady. So this scene in the script was just a one-two exchange. It was really good. That part for like...

when she's like, there's a flap in the back of your pants or whatever she says. And he says, it's for the cats or the kittens, whatever he says. And like, and then I feel like a pretty lady with the person. None of that was in the script. And that's because Steve is just a comedy King and love this character. And he could say the most random thing and it works for outside Dave. And it was always so gross and,

and so funny and on point. So they gave him a little more air in this episode too, which made me laugh so hard. - Oh, absolutely. And that's what you have to do, like we did, when you have someone who's brilliant comedically, you gotta give them some space. Jess gets a call and we cut to a bank where Nick is being held by a police officer because they think he's trying to open up a bank account with her check as if he was committing some sort of fraud. - Yeah.

uh and they get there and um i'm sorry this is so funny he's opening a bank account with a check in her name and a bag full of money that's right like what he's got this man is an adult this man is an adult he is a grown-up and this is the and this is how he's deciding to open up a bank account anyway um

He says he realized something that he will do anything for Jess. It just makes a little fuss about that. Then they go, okay, they, they, they, they're going through with it. Everything's fine. And then there's, there's an $8 processing fee and it becomes a, it becomes a whole thing. This is like the line that I love so much because it made me think about it where he goes,

It's an oddly specific number. Yeah. It's so true. Like eight dollars is the exact value. Like they do that number just to almost throw you off. Right. To make you feel like it's so specific.

It's kind of like the eight grand where you're like, no, that was 10. And it's like, if it's eight, I'm going to go the other way. I'm like, your processing fee is probably a dollar. What a return you guys are making at this bank with your eight bucks over a million. And how's your processing fee? Like everyone, everyone there gets paid. They're right there. She's there on salary. Who's getting the processing fee? You know what now? I'm annoyed about the processing fee. He made a good point. Which is why everybody should just probably move their bank accounts on over to BMO.

So the greatest part about this is then Jess realizes how much Nick is now doing to step forward and to mature and to grow for her. So then she then goes team Nick and she then gets on board with how ridiculous the processing fee is. And she goes in on the bank teller and they just go so hard on it. And then they realize how much they love each other. I think they start making out. And then the bank teller is just like, I'm going to waive this fee. Okay. Which by the way, huge win also shows they can waive the fee.

They can waive the fee. What's funny is that we see the bank teller is pretty much just jealous of their relationship, the way she's like hawking them. But meanwhile, back at the loft, Winston tells Schmidt that he's a good man. He's had enough of this and that he just needs to try to be better. That's right. Winston, with the money Nick gave him. I cannot with Winston in this choice right now. He gives him a candelabra. You know, I've probably given...

you know, a number of candelabras to people in my lifetime. You know, he spent all the money. That was like a 1900, like the $1,900 candelabra. That's what I think that that was. I've never I was like, you know, Winnie the Bash did something absolutely ludicrous with that. And I feel like you tell me if this is right. But at the end, because you can see Max laughing, he says, what would you do?

Right. With something like with all the money, we had all the money. And then what does Winston say? Buy more. And I was like, that feels like that was fully improvised because then he actually laughs. Yeah, that was I was like, this is just Lamar and with like a golden moment of improv because you see Max just being like, perfect. That's perfect. Well, listen, candelabras help illuminate the path and leads you out of darkness. Winston Bishop. Let's go to break.

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Plus, I can get cashback offers within the app from brands like DoorDash, Sephora, and Instacart. Download the new PayPal app, sign up, and start earning 5% cashback today. Don't just pay. PayPal. Terms and limits apply. See paypal.com slash rewards pal. Cashback earned as points redeemable for cash and other options on up to $1,000 spend per month. The PayPal debit MasterCard is issued by the Bancor Bank N.A., pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated and may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted. Ooh.

And we are back, Hannah. It's time. Let's just let's just mess around really quickly. Come on, let's go out of here. Now, Nick buys some ridiculous items with his money. What is the most outlandish purchase you've ever made? Honestly, now that we have talked about it in this episode, I kind of feel like the couch was.

I kind of feel like buying the new girl couch was because this is a couch that has been sat on and abused for like six, whatever, like what, seven, eight years we had it on the show. Can you tell us how much you spent on it? Sure. So here's what the deal was. It was on a website where people bid on it.

So I just had to be the highest bidder. I was not. Yeah, no, it wasn't eBay. It was a different site where they sell things from old sets, which is kind of cool, by the way, if your favorite show goes off the air, you can snag a lot of cool stuff. Memorabilia. And so I had to be the highest bidder. I really got myself in a pickle. What's your guess of what I paid for this couch? By the way, I do think that in many years now, if I sold the new girl couch, I'd probably make my money back.

Oh, 100%. Five grand. Oh my God, you're so close. Six. $6,000. That's what I'm saying.

but i feel like that's that bad real leather couch you know what i mean i i i'm looking at the prices of couches these days i've been furnishing my house and let me tell you something i'm annoyed highly frustrated yeah it's a lot couches are very expensive yeah they're shocking but i was like discount you know what i mean like think about how we treated that couch you know what i mean we would just shoes all over it shoes all over it all day

From the moment I moved in LA, I have one piece of furniture that has gone with me. And it's been 16 years now. I got it the first year. It's a leather couch. Get out. Actually, I got it in 2011. And guess who picked it out for me?

One of our art designers, Allison Hanley, one of our art designers at New Girl, she decorated one of my apartments for me, picked this couch out, and I've had it ever since. It is leather, and you do have to keep up with it, but I like the way it looks. You need to send me a link of what to do with the New Girl couch, because I feel like I'm not treating her very well.

Burn it. Not like I'm doing anything with it. I just think that burn it. Burn it. I did lose somehow. Oh, I didn't lose. They lost in the delivery one of the leather pillows. Lost. Yeah, sure. Yeah, they're just like, we're keeping this one ransom. We have big Negro fans. Yeah. But I do have the couch. When you come over, I'll show you. It's upstairs. We'll take a picture on it. Awesome. Awesome.

Me, what's the most outlandish? I feel like you've got a long list. I mean, I wouldn't call them outlandish because they're utilities. I like cars. So I, in my day, have spent a stupid amount of money on cars. So I'm just going to say a car. A car was probably most outlandish because it depreciates. But I got lucky. I once bought a car.

And three years later sold the car for $50,000 more than I paid for it. No, you did not. That's impossible. It's not impossible. This is during the pandemic and like there was a shortage of things and chips or whatever. And people were dying to get this car that I had. So I sold it for 50 grand. I know what you're talking about. And she was a beautiful. Yeah. She was a very beautiful car. Well, folks, thank you all for listening to another fantastic episode. Uh,

Be sure to check us out on IG at The Mess Around Pod. And, you know, check out our merch. Look at this. Ooh, I love that so much. We have so much new merch that's dropped at TheMessAroundPod.com. Go check it out before it all sells out. Tag is in your picks. Also, could somebody do a super cut of like Brad Pitt going, what's in the box? And then they open it up and it's just Nick Spills. That would make me so happy. All right. We'll see you next week.

Bye. I love y'all. Peace. That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.