301: All In
56:10 Share

Hey, who doesn't love bacon? And did you know Oscar Mayer smokes their delicious bacon for 12 hours over real hardwood? That's a really long time to perfect the smoky flavor and even longer than it takes to go on a long road trip from Chicago to Pittsburgh, stop for food along the way, and still get there while the bacon is smoking.

The point is, Oscar Mayer takes the best cuts and smokes them over real hardwood chips. There's no wrong way to enjoy it. So buy some Oscar Mayer thick cut bacon now.

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

This episode is brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. With the new Cash Rewards Plus card, you can keep things pretty simple. Simple, like unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. No spend categories. And now, when you spend $2K, you get $200 and a Walmart Plus annual membership. The new Cash Rewards Plus card. Learn more at NavyFederal.org. Navy Federal Credit Union. Their members are the mission.

Navy Federal is insured by NCUA. As a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. Plus, look forward to extraordinary travel rewards, including a free checked bag, two times the miles on United purchases, and two times the miles on dining and at hotels. Become an Explorer and seek out unforgettable places while enjoying rewards everywhere you travel. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank N.A., member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. Offer subject to change. Terms apply.

HBCUs are the mecca of black scholars and BET Plus is the home of black creators. Celebrate the black experience on BET Plus with over 2,500 hours of black content and 1 billion hours streamed. BET Plus is the number one black streaming service. Stream ad-free original series and movies and weekly premieres 24-7 on BET.

I like that. Yeah. Yes. Mess around. Mess around. Uh-huh. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around. Mess around.

Folks, we got a very exciting episode for you. So literally, riding in from season two, see what I did there? Nick and Jess drive all the way down to Mexico in an attempt to escape from Winston and Schmidt for some alone time. Meanwhile, Schmidt can't find it in him to break up with Cece or Elizabeth. So he lies and tries juggling two relationships. Oh, Schmidt, we've all been there.

Winston begins puzzling and we quickly find out something ain't right. Nick gets arrested and sent to resort jail. Try that again. Nick gets arrested and sent to resort jail, forcing Jess, Winston and Schmidt to come together to bail him. He'll be right back.

And we are back. This kickoff episode was directed by Winkler and written by the Elizabeth Merriweather and one of my favorite people, Camilla Blackett.

Oh, yeah. I just ran into Camilla. Did you? Yeah, she's doing well. She came to see, they had like a screening of my movie. It's been kind of buzzing around the town right now. And she came to check it out. And the new movie, Saturday Night. And she saw it and she loved it, apparently. Liz Merriweather has not seen it. You know she will, though. Yeah, I know.

She will. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I believe so. It's a fun movie. It's a really fun movie. Are you going to do a friends and family screening? I want to. I want to, you know, rent out one of those like AMC, like the smaller rooms or whatever, and then get the squad together. Maybe like add like a couple fans in there. We can raffle away some tickets. Yeah. Well, you know where your ultimate fans live. Texas. Texas.

They live in the listenership of this podcast. So stay tuned for that. That'd be cool. All right, let's dive all the way into this episode because I remember this episode so clearly. Oh, yeah. Just because of the location. But we'll get to that.

All right. I love how they started, by the way, because they started with a recap. Did that play in on yours too? I love that because that's not just like a, you know, like a kickover that happens now when you watch TV, like previously on, like that was like, I think scripted and written. So it's awesome because who would remember because these things were airing week to week and then you would be off for five, six months in the summer. I was like, this was a very helpful thing. I love a recap. Yeah.

A recap is very necessary, especially when the whole summer goes by and you're like, oh, I remember that show. What's going on? Yeah, but they didn't used to do that in sitcoms to be like, just to catch you up. I was like, that's disrespectful. You know, I'll tell you when they did it. I'll tell you when they did it. They did it a lot on like when it was those like very special, gracias, those very special episodes of a show. Like little Timmy finds out he's got AIDS and then they come back and they go,

you know last time on such and such it's like you found out little timmy had aids and then it's like an episode about like health awareness you know what i mean at least back in the 80s and 90s after school special style you know what i mean um i think they might have done that audience was the after school special kids for new girls like let us give you a recap we know you need the help

Help. Here's what context. Here's the context. Yep. But yeah, they used to do that a lot. You're right. That was a really cool device that that they use for this one. Yeah, I thought it was super helpful. Now I think it's silly because now when you watch streaming, you know, you're binge watching. So you're going episode to episode. And when they're like last week, I'm like last week.

last four seconds ago move skip it let's go i don't need it but this was a show new girl aired week to week and then took a summer hiatus and then you hoped you got picked up and we did we came back for season three anyway i found it very helpful to remember everything and i also remember that a lot of people found season three

a little problematic because Schmidt was so beloved, right? So beloved and his relationship on and off and the ins and out of the relationship with Cece, even though it was complicated, it was always like above board. And then on this one, it's like...

It's like he's a little... The choices make him, for the first time ever, like a little unlikable. And I feel like a lot of fans really struggled with that. And if it was anybody but Max, I feel like it actually could have made our show turn a little corner. But somehow, I don't know, he's just got that magic where he kind of got away with what's a pretty tough storyline in a comedy. Yeah, I think...

Problematic, I can totally understand. I think back in those days, we weren't identifying those things in real time, the way our brains are.

the way our brains are conditioned now to identify these things in real time. You know, I think when you go back and you watch it, then the fans watch it, then they talk to each other and they go, yeah, what the hell? Like this dude is a, you know, he's different. He's shifted and it can throw people off. But in real time back then, like if you made that now, I think the writers in the room would clock it immediately. I mean, I felt it. I remember being like, wait a second. I remember reading the script and being like, we're just like sitting there.

Being like, did you choose me? Did you choose me? And I was like, tell me one woman you know that'd be like, did you pick? Well, hold on now. You're like, don't count it out. Mind you, that is The Bachelor. That's the whole show of The Bachelors. 100%. We all stand here. You give me a little flower and pick.

That's basically what happened. I was like, man, that's crazy. Okay, we got to go. We got to break this down because there's so much that happens in this episode that gets us into what turns out to be a pretty wild, awesome season of New Girl. So let's go. So Jess and Nick are in the car. They're driving.

And they say they're all in. Title of the episode. And the whole episode stays on that theme. They are all in. And true to a new, exciting relationship, they pull over immediately. And they do it in the car to each other. I think that's what they did. I think that's what they did. They were fully dressed.

Post-coital. I was going to say post-coital too. Because he says the craziest post-coital thing I think I've ever heard that would give me immediate ick where he's like, I'm fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner. Yeah.

The ick. I mean, that's why we different. Because if I was ever making love to a lovely young lady and she said to me, I'm in the urge to make you a lobster dinner. I'd be like, bitch, why are you still standing here? I wouldn't say the bitch part. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Yeah, that might change the vibe real quick. She got the ick now. I know. She said, what'd you call me? Bob taking me to my lobster going home. Yeah.

I love that they did this little device, too, in this episode where they're at the door, right? Immediately. One minute in, they're at the door. They're back at the loft. And they're like, eh. You know, like the end of Coming to America, where they're like, nah. That's one of my favorite parts. And then they just boot it. And then they do this thing. I don't know if you remember in your 20s when you're feeling like, let's run away and escape this life. We should just drive to Mexico. Yeah.

I remember saying that to my boyfriend. I hated road trips. You're like, let's PJ it to the Bahamas. Yeah, I don't like road trips that much. Let's get this city bus and drop off on Fairfax and then take that train down the... Well, I could relate to it. I remember dating someone and being like, we should just run away to Mexico. And so it's so funny to think that Liz and Camilla obviously were like, you say these wild things. And I thought it's such a great episode because you get to see how hyperactive

highly impractical it is. You don't have a job. You don't have any money. You're in a foreign country. What are you doing? What's the plan here, bud? And the moment they get there, he ain't got no sleeves.

Yeah. They're all of a sudden shipwrecked. I'm like, I think you drove a car. Why do you look like you fell off the back of a pirate ship? Yeah. And I know Nick ain't doing that great as a bartender, but he still has a job and Jay still has a job. That's right. You know, I'm like, don't they have money? But it's the romantic notion of it, which I think is really, really sweet. Right. Let's pull over at a beach in Tijuana. Yeah. Let's just pull over. Yeah.

That's why I love New Girl. They're just like, fine, let's see what it really is. And you're just like, oh, this looks terrible. Okay, so now they have this idea. Now they have this idea that they're going to lay around. They're going to sit on the beach. They're going to live off the land. And Nick wants to, he wants to like plant his roots there in that moment. But they're at this resort and they don't have a wristband. So here comes the issue of the episode.

They don't want to live out the back of a van, so they want to go and live in this resort. But they don't have wristbands. If you've ever been to one of these places, they are so anal about their wristbands.

I mean, aggressively anal about their wristband. Really? I'll tell you a quick little story. I was in Jamaica and there are three towers, right? And each tower has its own beachfront and their own pools and their own whatever. If you're staying in the big, big tower, then you have access just to your beach. The medium tower, just to your beach.

the small tower, you can go to all of the beaches. Oh. Right? You can go, you can have, yeah, full access to everyone's gyms, everyone's whatever the case may be. I remember meeting this girl out, like out somewhere. And then we, she was staying at, she was staying at the, one of the bigger towers or whatever. So I was like, oh, let's just go, let's just go to your place. And she was like, oh, my roommate is, is in my room. I was like, oh,

Well, I don't have anybody in my room. Let's walk to my room. We start walking to my room. And the security guy was like, he's like, he's like, mom, miss you. I bracelet. May I see your bracelet? She was like, she showed it to me. He's like, yeah, come in here. You can't come in here. And I was and I showed him mine. I was like, oh, we're good. I have this one. She's a guest of mine. He's like, no guests. You can't have no guests.

It's like she has to have to wristband. Were you at like a sandals resort, a family resort where they were like, listen, no funny business is happening. This is for children. It was at a place called Ibera Star. Ibera Star. It's a really nice place. But they were like, nope, no funny business going. So I went to Jamaica and got no funny business. None. So funny to me. Yeah. So sorry. You got cock blocked by a wristband.

Yes. And it was funny is Nick's negotiation with the little kid that he's like, how about I just strangle you? Honestly, I was thinking about it. Like the first half of what Nick says where he's talking to that little boy, I'd forgotten all about that scene. Right. And it was shot at the beach, like at Marina Del Rey. I remember that because it was like, we're back.

we're back after a long summer break it was like all of us are going to be reunited and i was like getting ready to go like kick it at the you know the loft to walk around the lot and they're like they said the first call sheet and it was like marina del rey i was like are you anybody lives in la you know that's like you're i might as well just drive to new york like it's cross country what are we doing here all the way out to marina del rey so they're shot it there but the way he gives the

That speech initially of like, man, one day you're going to meet a girl. You're really going to like her. I was like, it was so sweet. But then you remember that children don't care whatsoever about your lame, weak, grown man crush. Yes. That's not happening. And so then he just pulls out just then was like, well, I'm going to now threaten you.

And it was so funny. That kid was amazing. Shout out to that kid. Oh, yeah. And shout out to, was it Manny? Did he play? I think it was Manny. No, was it Manny? The officer who was the security guard. Oh. I think it was Manny. The security guard. Yeah. I think it was Manny. His name is Hemke. Hemke Madera, the guy who plays him. And I know him. I know him.

And I just was, that dude is such a dope actor, such a funny character. I don't know, like whenever I watched that episode, I'm like, dude, this dude, he should get his own, he should like recur on this. He was one of those characters that I felt like would,

would recur on the episode, on the show. Like, you know, maybe Outside Dave and all these different characters. He just feels like he would just pop up randomly as a security guard, even where they are. Like, he's just not in Mexico, but like in LA or something like that. I followed you. Oh, yeah. So where are we at? We got to take a break and switch back to The Loft. Because this is honestly where I feel like it's this weird, this weird thing in New Girl where...

It's like they took all of our real life personalities, put them in a big bowl, and then they would just like lucky dip things out and then just attach it to a character. And so many of the things about me personally in real life somehow got stuck on the Winston character.

Like you, I am the biggest puzzler in the world. Really? You know that? Honest to God. Yes, I do puzzles. I probably, this is not a joke. I probably do two or three puzzles a week. What? I don't know. They made that many puzzles. I, well, I actually had to cut it back because it's a very expensive hobby and

Like puzzles are super expensive and I would just blow through them. And I don't do a puzzle twice. So once I'm done, I'm done. And so like we just had to donate so many puzzles because I have like hundreds of them. Are you sharing in this experience with your family or are you doing them by yourself? By myself. Don't come near my puzzles. And that's the funniest part.

about it is that this is the character trait. I forgot about that. Like, again, I don't rewatch the show unless we do it for our podcast. And so I was watching where he's like, here's the rules. And I was like, oh, no, it's me. And I honestly, Liz and I, you know, are good friends. And I, you know, told her all sorts of weird things about myself over our friendship, especially when we were on set all the time. And I'm like, did she take my crazy obsession with puzzles and was like, I have to use this somewhere, but gave it

- To Winston? - It's possible. Wait, did she know of that? You don't know, but maybe. - I can't remember 'cause it was so long ago. - Yeah. - But I mean, I've had it my whole life. I love puzzles so deeply. And I watched the episode last night and I was like, this is like not a funny broad character trait to me whatsoever. It's my real life.

That is your real life. That is sad. I think for all the listeners out there, we now know the real Hannah and she's a monster. You know what's really crazy? I literally this week, okay, I'm going to send a picture to the producer so they can put a picture up of it. So literally this week, last Christmas, someone gave me a puzzle. This is not a plug. This is just like real, called a Liberty Puzzle. And I was like, never did it.

And then very American. And I cracked it open two nights ago. And every piece, it was called Night in L.A. or L.A. by Night or something. Every piece is cut into the shape of the actual, like something in L.A.,

Or like ships or something. So not normal puzzle pieces. And I somehow since Christmas lost the picture. It was the hardest puzzle I've ever done. And I got so obsessed with it that for two days, like I didn't really talk to anybody. And I got so deep in this liberty puzzle. And now I'm obsessed and have to buy all of them.

And so that's my new puzzle obsession. Anyway, you have a gift for me for Christmas. Last time I got deep in anything named Liberty. Okay. It was in Jamaica. It was 1989. Anyway, so I watched this. I was like, I would have been, this is like those weird crossover moments. That was a big crossover moment. And then also the moment in the loft where,

Cece comes in and goes to-- She can smell on Winston that he's lying. There was just this weird sweet conversation that was so funny between Cece and Winston that I feel like was very close to our real relationship.

Because she goes, Winston! And I was just like, I for sure have been like, Lamorne, no, we're not saying that or doing that. And I was like, the tone was right. Yeah, let's, so for the folks out there just catching up, this is the first time we reintroduced this puzzle obsession with Winston. This is the first time we've introduced it, correct? I hate puzzles with a passion. Hannah, you...

You love puzzles. Same. Not this episode, but the next episode, we're going to dive into another first of something that I hate and you love. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there. But I thought it was interesting because in this moment, in this moment, we see, and then we'll get back to, I'm sorry, the argument between CeCe and Winston. But I wanted to talk about

The song, Winston is about to do some puzzling. Mm-hmm. Do you... Hmm, I wonder how to ask this question. Do you know which song I'm referring to? No. In which melody? I think that's the word I'm using. It's R. Kelly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I forget the song, but it's...

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it was R. Kelly. I wish I could, you know, in hindsight, you know what I mean? Take that back. Well, that's like there's another R. Kelly. They sing, right? Yeah. There's a lot of R. Kelly then all over 301. Yes. Yes. Good old Robert.

Hey, Robert. How you doing? Anyway, he's a longtime listener of the Mess Around podcast. God, no. No, no, no. But then let's go back. Okay, so Schmidt's got to choose between the both of you, Hannah or Cece and Elizabeth. And he pulls his player card and he decides to choose both. He just can't, right? That's the problem is that he's... I'm watching...

I'm behind, but I am watching Love Island right now. I love Love Island. And it just seems... I was thinking about it when I was watching the episode last night because it seems to be this thing of these men who are just looking at two very beautiful and very different women and just going like...

both roads seem great and they can't and they can't really shut the door right they can't just not capable because people can't handle it that's why I you know I'm not a what do you call it polygamist but I don't judge people who are because I'm like hey man I get it you know it's hard everybody has different qualities

People have different traits, different things that can complete your puzzle in life. Yeah, but here's the thing. If you've ever been in a relationship for more than a few months, you realize the nature of your relationship evolves and changes. And there's a lot more work and growth that you usually have to do to bring two lives together. And then the idea of doing that with multiple people is insane. Well, because if you, let's say you're in a throuple relationship.

And you have one lovely partner and then another lovely partner who each have different qualities. Here's the thing, because you evolve and you have to learn and work towards things,

They can help. You can help each other because person A is going to be also coexisting with person C. And they're going to be the two ladies are going to be teaching each other about life. And then you sitting there eating grapes, watching them teach each other about life. You know what I mean? Like I so desperately now want you to be in a thruple. And I want to know the real experience when you just have like two people.

women very mad at you a lot of the time. Some people are built for it. They can handle it. They could choose the right people. I feel like with you, you would just be like, I don't know what to do. Everything I'm doing is wrong. They've ganged up on me. Y'all ganged up on me. Y'all brutalizing me. This is not how it was supposed to be. I don't think it's for you. But shockingly, Schmidt seems to be pulling it off quite well.

- Yeah, because he's keeping them separate. Nobody knows the game yet. And I will say Winston was like, "Man, no, stop. This is not the thing." - Winston's wise. He's a wise old sage. And I think it's important to listen to him sometimes, except when he's like topless about to do something weird to a puzzle. Don't listen to him in those moments, 'cause that's a creep. But besides that, he's a very wise old man.

The fact that the way that you tried to sell the lie that you had done Elizabeth two and a half times. That's right. The half. I could tell you what that half is. You do it twice and you're like excited. The third time they're like, can you go again? And you're like, yeah, sure. Because you don't be embarrassed. And then halfway through your body's like, no, your partner, your fellow passenger is like, I'm going to bed. Can we not just say we did?

Yeah. That's just, we've done it. We know what it is. You have fun. I'll rub your feet. Come on. Yes. So where are we now? Oh, that's when, oh, and then the creepiest thing. I honestly think, I mean, there's so many weird, creepy, funny things that are said in New Girl. This, I think, takes the cake. We'll see as we continue to like, you know, rewatch. But the fact that Wednesday,

says that he needed cc's panties to sew into his underwear was honest i was like who who wrote who wrote it because whoever wrote it looking at you new girl around this room whoever it is you need to go talk to somebody that's what we used to say about camilla she used to always talk about was it camilla should we text her yeah she used to always say oh i've got my my panties in a

Pirate boxers in a bunch. My pants. My pants. Yeah. I can't do her accent quite well. My pants. I've sewn my pants into my pants. I've sewn your pants into my pants. And now I've got double pants.

See, it actually sounds better in British versus like, I sewed your panties up into my underwear and I'm walking around. Well, if you're talking like a street urchin, sure. If you're talking like a street urchin. I was thinking about Deliverance. Remember that movie? That tone. Oh, yeah. Love Deliverance. Okay, so Schmidt is, so one, he comes to the loft. You come to the loft. He lies. You now think Winston is a creep.

Yes, you'd think Winston is quite the nasty, nasty individual. He's so nasty, very nasty. You know what's really funny is that when you say it,

That reaction, you know when you know you kind of slip a little out of character a little bit? That is just, I know my real face. I was like, I can't believe they're going to make me stay in here just in real life. And have this man be like, so, you know, panties. And I was just like, I remember throwing a look back being like, you guys, this is so gross. She would be calling the police. This is a sign of someone who's deranged.

yeah, I feel like that's a, for some reason, I feel like that's a form of assault. It's something weird. You're implying you're like a little past the point of like an, a normal relationship with another human when you're like, I need you a band-aids to sew into my pants. Real creepy. Real creepy. 100%. Um,

but I did love that we got that little moment together and it's really fun and cute and hostile and strange. And he's trying to be a really good friend and trying to sort it out. I also love the fact that we learned that you're just like garbage at puzzles, which is so funny to have something you love so deeply and,

and are just not good at it is such a fun character trait that they gave you. It's not even that he's not good at it. He is dog shit. Like horrifying. There was an almond. There was an almond. He goes, are you trying to use that as a piece of the puzzle? Upside down still. Yes. Oh my gosh. And then Winston gets a little upset and chases Schmidt back into the... Now people always ask me, there's a moment where we're,

Well, as Winston's doing the puzzle, they're rounding off. They're having their little, we're going back a little bit. They're having their little face off, Schmidt and Winston. Oh yeah, because they say we have to be best friends. Like they're gone. They went on two other calls, they're gone. Yeah. And as they're having their face off, there was one moment that I get asked about a lot. So here's the time to answer that question. People ask me if I stubbed my toe for real in that episode. Oh my God.

just before you say it can I say I watched it last night okay and I rewound it three times and I said he really stubbed his toe

He really hurt himself. I could tell because I know you well enough, but tell me if I'm wrong. But the way you did it, because you just went, oh, and I saw your face just get up and you get a little mad when you get hurt. So you got a little mad and I could see that the anger, but Max didn't stop. So you just kept going. And then that was a take they used. That was my guess. Yes, that was it. That was the take. I would have been annoyed if they didn't because

Because it really hurt. Yeah. And I stayed in character the whole time, which is shocking. Normally, I would have been like, hold on, time out. But yeah, because Max kept going, I kept going. And so to all the fans out there, yes, I stubbed my toe for real. And fun fact, till this day, it still hurts.

Get out. When I go and do, and I didn't realize this until maybe like last year. It's been hurting forever. Only when I do certain exercises. So if I'm doing like a reverse lunge where my foot, ask Eddie. I don't do reverse lunges.

because when I put my foot back, my toe is resting on the angle of something. And this, when you put weight on it like this, it feels, it hurts like really bad. So when I'm walking and doing regular stuff, no. But like when I'm doing those exercises or sometimes if I play basketball for too long, I can feel it. And I'm like, when did that happen? Get out. You're like, roll the tape. Yeah.

Yeah, because a fan had asked me a while ago, a fan had asked me, I mean, I get them all the time, but they said, did you stub your toe for real? And I was and I responded to them. I said, yeah, that was real. And I thought about it like, was that when I hurt my toe? Because it's still messed up. Get out of town. That's so funny. I rerounded three times because I was just like, oh, I can see in your eyes.

That like legit hurt. And then you got, you got like a little mad when we do the mess around at the end of this episode. I'm already embarrassed. I will share with you my weirdest injury. VU2, an immersive concert film is now showing at Sphere Las Vegas. VU2 is an immersive concert film and you've never seen or heard U2 like this before.

Whether you missed the legendary rock band's epic concert run at Sphere or want to relive it, VU2 lets you feel like you're there in a one-of-a-kind experience. Tickets available now at thesphere.com.

M-O-D-O dot U-S. Visit M-O-D-O dot U-S for the best free play social casino experience wherever you are. Modo offers a huge selection of Vegas style games and now introducing live blackjack, roulette, and casino hold'em. These are so much fun. Modo always has generous jackpots, free spins, and exciting promotions. Register today at M-O-D-O dot U-S for your free welcome bonus. Modo is a social casino, no purchase necessary, void or prohibited play responsibly. Conditions apply. See website for details. M-O-D-O dot U-S.

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

Okay, want to know where to find brands on brands on brands this fall? At Ross. Mm-hmm. They've got big savings on the latest fall styles. Seriously, you'll find the brands you want at prices you'll love. At Ross. Yes for less.

Check out this game called Fun Picks. You can guess who's going to get a rose on Golden Bachelorette, what's going to happen on The Voice, and if you guess correctly, you win prizes. I'm obsessed with this bingo game. I didn't know you were into that. Where are you playing this? It's on Sportsino. No way! Fun Picks is on Sportsino, too. Seriously? We're playing different games on the same website?

We both have great taste. And we're back. But we're not just back, Hannah. We're back at the beach. We're back at the beach, Marina Del Rey. Which is funny because it's actually next to Red Lobster.

So they could have followed through. They would have had the built-in location right there. I don't know if it's still there. That was probably an improvised moment. They probably saw Red Lobster and thought, oh, let's add that in there. The glow of the red neon. They were like, you know what? Work it in. Those cheddar biscuits? Those cheddar baked biscuits? I don't think there's any better than that. There's none better than that. So here they are back at the beach.

You know, debating whether they go home or whether they stay there in paradise. I mean, they look rough. They honestly look like... They look rough. They get in the resort. They have that conversation with the kid, which is the way Nick does it, Jake does it, is so funny to me, so desperate. And then he gets hauled off to jail and she freaks out. Yes.

And she goes to get help. Yes. She leaves Marina Del Rey, aka Mexico, and goes all the way back to get the gang together. Yeah. And this is when we start to realize a lot. Once the gang gets back there, we realize Nick is an idiot because he's

Trying to live off the land in Mexico and he's trying to, you know, rip up his passport and he's trying to do all those crazy things. Well, yeah, it's funny. It's that all in thing. Right. Which I, again, I can understand from like a really young, naive, sweet dating relationship. Right. They said they're all in.

They're not going to be roommates with living with two other dudes. They're choosing each other. They're committing. They're going to run away. They're going to start a new life. And he's the dreamer. Right. So he's just like stuck on it. And he's just like, look, I'm here. By the way, he was not in some like weird, crazy, terrifying jail. He was in just sitting in like the, you know, probably the general manager's office. Yeah. Watching Ugly Betty. Is that how you said? Watching Ugly Betty. And then he,

Going like, I'm committing. I'm choosing you. I'm going to shred this passport. We're not going back because we'll follow up. The fear is, just like in all relationships, there's usually an undercurrent of some whatever worry. And his big worry is if we go back, we're never going to make it. Like our relationship won't make it. So we're choosing each other. We have to cut ties with every other thing. And in true, absolutely insane, over-the-top fashion, he's like, I'm going to shred this.

my passport. So I cannot go home. I think one of the funniest things that also happens is that we learn that Winston is colorblind. Yes. With the shoes, right? Isn't it with the shoes? He is. He's wearing green shoes and he says, these are my favorite brown shoes. But it must have been, I feel like when they were writing this over the summer must have been, remember the dress? Yes.

Is the dress, whatever it was, it was like, is the dress gold? Yeah, white or gold or whatever the two colors were. And it became this massive thing. It was like on the news, people were being asked like really crazy over the top. I'm like, how privileged are we that this is like what we're focusing on in life? Anyway, and it's so funny because it obviously then made its way onto the show. And I feel like the only reason it wasn't just to give Winston a weird, another weird thing.

I feel like the only reason they did that was because they wanted the joke. And the joke was... Well, if that's great, then what color do you think you are? That's it. I feel like that whole thing was just a setup to ask that question, which really made me laugh. I was like, this shows out of pocket. But you know what? I...

I wish I would have gone back. I didn't even think about that. I think Max improvised that. No. I'm almost certain. I could be wrong, but I'm almost certain that there was a lot of back and forth. You know how they have the alt lines and things like that? And we were going back and forth, and Max just said it. That's why my reaction, I'm kind of smiling. It's like you can tell there's like a smile underneath my looking off. My jaw is like, I'm like, what?

Yeah, I could be. Well, you know, I have the script, so I will go back and look and see and then we'll post it if it happened or not. Hysterical. Well, that derails my whole theory that it was just like them jumping on a cultural moment. That's so funny, though. I could see that because it was just really funny.

- Welcome back. - Welcome back. - Welcome back. - Welcome back. Two minutes in. Welcome back. So, all right, ask me. Do it. - Hannah. - Yeah. - I'm not sure if I wanna ask. Bear, where is it? Did you find it? - Here's what I'm gonna say. Now listen, just, we are grown now, okay? So, just listen. I thought about it a lot. Believe.

that there is a bear of some sort in every episode of New Girl. I do believe it. I stand by it. I do believe it. Sometimes it's a little more figurative. Don't smile right now. Sometimes it's physical. Sometimes it's metaphysical. Okay. But I do believe that there is a bear. I also, because I am a grown-up, know that...

Santa and the Easter Bunny told me directly that for season three of this show, I gotta let it go. Oh, no. Oh, no. You're so happy. Hannah, are we dropping the bear? I think, look...

There are so many fan theories about so many things that I am happy to create a new segment, if the fans want, we can put this on a poll of fan theories. We can go through a fan theory and we can talk about it a little bit. This one I stand by, I do believe that there's a bear. Don't know if I can produce a physical bear though every single episode. And so I think RIP to the bear segment, not to the bear.

Well, Hannah, okay. Because you're saying goodbye. I was going to have a... I had a compromise. Oh. I had a compromise. What? Like you said, it sometimes could be physical, metaphysical. Yeah. It could be a theory of a bear. Sure. Now...

What if you could make a case each episode? This is a new challenge. Okay. Even when there is no direct bear in sight, which it rarely is. Out of all the episodes, I think I could say it rarely is. No, no. You've lost more than you want. Majority had them. Majority had them. But you just like rode me so hard every single time, like I couldn't produce one. You're on crack. You're on crack drugs. That's not the case.

I could. So how about this? The compromise is you have to make a case every episode of a bear reference. So whether Nick is shirtless and say, oh, he looks like a bear because he's bare chested. Or he high fived you with his bare hands. If you make the case and I and you'll convince me and you'll win me over, Hannah, I'll buy you a lobster dinner. Every episode. Every episode.

I'll send a lobster to your house and make you. Here's what I'll say. I'll just say this and I will put it to rest. I truly believe that the bear was important. I think it probably started off with the joke of like Brett Bear. And then it was like so many references in season one to the Chicago Bears and how he says bear because he's from Chicago. Bear, bear, bear. And I think it was there. And then they put the bear on the fridge. So you already got two bears every single time you got it. And writing with Brett Bear spelling. Okay, fine. And then you got the bear on the fridge.

And then sometimes they would double, triple down on it and then give you a different kind of bear. So I just feel like it's bears all around. I accept the bears. I love the bears. I love the fans that have this bear theory. I have the theory too. But I know that it's taking up some time on this podcast with us fighting. This is literally an hour and minute 17 of us talking about just trying to kill the bear. Like, I feel like we just have to be, you know, like, what do you call it? Agree to disagree. Yeah.

And I just have to stand in my strength. But I do feel like here's what I'll do. At the end of season three, I will do a standalone loft episode where I just go, a loft meeting where I go through every episode and I'll highlight where those bears are. But we're pulling it out of the recaps just because I can't take the fight anymore. Okay. All right. And deal. Deal. Deal.

Deal. All right. Deal. There we go. And we let's die. Let's let's let's jump back into the end of this episode really quick. The end of the episode. They're they're trying to leave. And Nick accidentally drops his which is so stupid. He had it in his hand and all of a sudden it's in the shredder.

That's right. It just gets shredded to pieces. What I thought was so funny on the writer's part, I saw Nate and Winston pick up the pieces, the shreds and go, oh, I can work with this. By the way, that's how my brain works all the time. All the time when I see like a shredder, I'm always just like, that'd be the ultimate puzzle. I'm telling you, this is stolen from my brain. I love that moment so much. I forgot all about it. And I loved it so much. As a puzzler, I was like, this is perfect.

That's how our brains work. Let me tell you about privilege, though. These assholes managed to get back in the country. You're the one who greased the wheels for them to do it with you talking about your colorblind disability. Yeah, but he even had a comeback. He looked at it like, yo, this is crazy. This isn't even a...

And somehow we still managed to get that man into the United States of America. No passport, no nothing. Exactly. Now they get back to the apartment. They're right in front of 4D. That mirrored moment from the beginning of the episode. Nick does something very special. He gives her the bracelet from the resort. Very sweet. He goes to open the door, but it's locked. And then they get into an argument about why he doesn't have a key. It is.

And then out of nowhere, they just start making out aggressively. Yeah. Right in front of Winston and Schmidt. And it's a lot. It's like, I'm not even, I don't think we were there on that day. I think it was probably a special request from like,

for like zoe to be like no i'm not about to watch a bunch of dudes watch me make out you know that's not gonna happen so uh i don't remember being there on that day yeah because we're never in the same shot um no so i'm just i i think we were we shot that on two different uh two different times uh-huh um but um but yeah we get we we we we wrap on that and we also towards the tag is

Winston's at a table and he looks at a puzzle and it's clearly, I don't think any pieces are correct. Not one set of pieces are correct. No. And he looks at it and he's like, hmm, this is it. This is pretty good. I think I did it. Yeah. I think he said it was his greatest masterpiece. This is a masterpiece.

And that concludes episode 301 all in. Such a great episode. Such a good launch into like a new season. You know, all these new dynamics. Like they set the stakes up, I think, really well for an entire season. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I've always told folks that.

You know, season three is where I really start to feel like I was comfortable on the show. Season three and on, I was like, okay, now I'm in a pretty good groove here. As far as...

Because I think from season three on, my character stays the same. He's crazy. He's weird. He's got these weird traits and quirks. Whereas season one and two, we were kind of finding it a little bit. I agree. I feel the same way, too. I feel like I found my lane a little bit more, too. Also because they brought you and I together more. Like that little dynamic scene where I come in and I'm annoyed at you when you're saying crazy stuff. You start to see their relationship change.

which started to become integral to the series as it went on. And I think that was, for me, it was like helpful too, that I wasn't just always caught in some sort of like love triangle situation that now I just like had like a guy friend who was like annoying, but like I dug. And that's what they kind of gave me with like the CC Winston thing. So that was season three, which I loved. Oh yeah. And it's hard to, and I'm shocked that they even, we even continued our friendship knowing that,

Winston was wearing your panties. That's true. But as we know, if you have your platonic male friends, they will say and do things that are out of pocket sometimes. And you just go like, that's how my brother is. That's just what it is. He's a little crazy. And I love him for it. We'll be right back. VU2, an immersive concert film is now showing at Sphere Las Vegas.

VU 2 is an immersive concert film and you've never seen or heard U2 like this before. Whether you miss the legendary rock band's epic concert run at Sphere or want to relive it, VU 2 lets you feel like you're there in a one-of-a-kind experience. Tickets available now at thesphere.com.

Visit MODO.US for the best free play social casino experience wherever you are. MODO offers a huge selection of Vegas-style games with free spins, exciting promotions, and always generous jackpots. You can waste your time with the others, or you can win at MODO. Register today at MODO.US for your free welcome bonus. MODO is a social casino, no purchase necessary, void where prohibited. Play responsibly. Conditions apply. See website for details. MODO.US

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

Okay, want to know where to find brands on brands on brands this fall? At Ross. Mm-hmm. They've got big savings on the latest fall styles. Seriously, you'll find the brands you want at prices you'll love. At Ross. Yes for less.

Check out this game called Fun Picks. You can guess who's going to get a rose on Golden Bachelorette, what's going to happen on The Voice, and if you guess correctly, you win prizes. I'm obsessed with this bingo game. I didn't know you were into that. Where are you playing this? It's on Sportsino. No way! Fun Picks is on Sportsino, too. Seriously? We're playing different games on the same website?

We both have great taste. Sportsino is a free-to-play social casino and sports book. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Visit Sportsino.com. Get fun pics and bingo now at Sportsino. That's Z-I-N-O dot com. And here we are. Hannah. It's time for the mess around. Let's go. Babe. Yeah, babe. Any wild Mexico stories or vacation stories? Any wild Mexico stories?

I feel like you for sure have one. I got quite the array of Mexico stories. I feel like people fan out an envelope and you get to pick one and you're like, ah, yes, this one, the pina colada story. That's the one you've selected. I got a pina colada story, I sure do. I can tell you. Tell me. Well, I have a lot of Mexico stories.

And I'm trying to figure out which is the most PG. Because some of them are just straight up, not like in a nasty way. Just like gross. Fun, fun, but also some of them are rather gross. And I'm trying to figure out which one's more interesting. So I'll just start spewing one off right now. And one of them is, I ate, there was this restaurant at this resort that we were staying at. And it was, this resort is...

It might be the most beautiful place I'd stayed. It's called Esperanza, La Esperanza, I think that's what it's called, in Cabo. And there is a restaurant there that serves this fish. It's a white fish, but it's very fatty and oily. Very, very fatty and oily. And when I say it's one of the best things I've ever eaten in my entire life,

That's the feeling when I was eating it, when I was putting it inside of my body. But when it decided it wanted to come out of my body. I see. Okay, I'm trying not to gross everybody out and lose the listeners, but just bear with me. You know me. I go use the restroom and it's bright orange. Oh. I thought I was dying. I was like, what? But the fish was white?

It was a white fish. Okay. But it was very oily. Okay. So it had this like, and it was the oil from the fish. It was that, that. It just kept coming out. So you got food poisoning. That's what happened. You know that, right? That's just what it was. No, but I didn't feel sick. It was just, what's that fish called? It was, damn it. I wish I could tell you the name of it. But it's a white oily fish and it messed me up. But it didn't feel bad. It just was like,

weird on its way out. It was like a little fish. It just like swam right through you and then it was like coming out the mine. Went down the drain and now it's swimming around somewhere in the ocean. Yeah, so I'm sorry. I'm sorry listeners. That wasn't what you wanted. This is not the wild story. This is about like a couple that was romantic and like drove to Mexico and did something crazy to be there. I didn't do nothing crazy. I got a ticket and bought a flight. Paid for a hotel room each time. I'm not like these dum-dums.

You know, I remember one time. I'll tell you a little bit of a Mexico thing. And then I have to fulfill my promise, which I was going to tell you my weirdest injury. It still hurts. I shouldn't say still hurts, but you can still see the scar. I'll tell you my little Mexico story, which was I remember dating somebody being like in a job I didn't love.

They were also in a job they didn't love. And I would talk a lot about like, we should just run away and run away to Mexico. I don't know why it was this big romantic thing. I wonder why I talked to Liz about that too. We used to chat a lot. Anyway, I remember being like, I want to run away to Mexico and just like, and he was like, me too. And we would talk about the whole thing. And of course, never happened. No. Because it's impractical. But he wrote a song about it. He wrote a song about it.

like it played like on the whatever like i heard it and i was like oh my god we'd broken up no longer together and i remember being like this is the whole conversation we had about running away to mexico and he had a song about it and then he made yeah he was like uh like an artist and then he put into a song

And then it was just such a weird moment about this totally ludicrous conversation. Oh, this is when you dated Kanye. Run away from me, baby.

No, that song is brutal. That song is a brutal song. Wait, so you, so, so did we talk about already? Did you, did you, maybe I missed it. Who are we talking about? I'm not going to say who it is. Just give a first name. No, I'm not going to say who it is, but I do. I'll tell you, I'll text you. But I, it was such like a, you know, it's like a, just a weird moment. Like this person wasn't like a, you know, a big artist or whatever at the time and then wrote this song. And then this song came out and I was just like, what?

And then now he's a big artist. No. No. But like an artist and people love the music. Anyway, so here's my weirdest injury. And this... Oh boy. I don't know if I've ever told this story, but it just made me think about like you're in the middle of a scene and then all of a sudden some weird office chair like catches your toe and you're in pain and you just keep going with it. I was sitting on the couch and...

And I had a cat who I love very much. Very large, obese cat named Jake, actually. Big obese cat named Jake. Big fat cat named Jake. And Jake was on my lap and I was with somebody who was sitting next to me. I was dating at the time and they were very comfortable in our relationship and they farted.

So loud, the guy was dating and the cat got startled and so dug their claw into my thigh and jumped off and scooped out a chunk of my thigh. That is how disturbing and loud that fart was. Took me by surprise. And I looked down and my leg was bleeding and a chunk of it is just out.

out like a little ice cream scooper and I have a scar on my leg and people have seen it and they're just like what's that scar and I'm like it's a really ex farted really loud it's a hard fart he ate some oily fish and now I'm now I'm scarred for life literally come on that's a weird one how do you explain that to people that's aggressive that's bad it's aggressive did you break up with him immediately afterwards

I don't know how you come back from that. Again, back to our throuple thing. Imagine that. Just like a cacophony of farts around you all the time. I feel like when you've been in a relationship long enough, you should be comfortable to do whatever your human body needs to do. No shame here whatsoever. But that one was at a level that even like the wildlife were just like darting to the hills. Yeah, that don't sit right with me. It didn't sit right with anybody, including the person obviously that was farting.

And he just, the fact, but he, you know, that's saying a lot that he felt comfortable enough to just blow your skull away. But also to try to like kill your cat in the process. I don't know. It was the craziest thing. And of course, there is such a dude just being like, I looked over, I'm bleeding. I'm like, what? And they're like, what?

Like nothing like that for them. They were just like, oh, I was holding. I like I did you a favor. I didn't even like let it all go. And I was just like, was he smoking a vape in that moment? No. Why do vapes cause farts? No, I'm trying to figure out which ex we're talking about. You're going through the list. No. All right. That is true. It's so funny that you like know my life. Previous.

All right. Well, the last question, of course, on the mess around, which I don't even think we need to answer because I talked about it. Basically, the entire thing is, are you guys big puzzle people? I'm a yes. You know, the answer. I'm a hard no. Nope. I'm a hard no. I like to complete the puzzles of life. You know what I mean? I like to go up to a stranger, figure out what they're lacking, and I like to complete them. You're just full Jerry Maguire at this point now. Well, I'm a well, well, well, I'm a chameleon. You know, I'm a utility player.

If there's anything you need in your life, daddy can fix it. And this is a message to all the single ladies out there who didn't have that dad experience. Let me be your guide. Let me be your old man guiding you through this journey in life. Yeah.

This is why you're like, Hannah, honestly, real talk, why am I single? And I'm like, because these jokes are not translating to the ladies' ears. Gosh, they dumb. They dumb. That's not on me. That's on them. No, no. That's on them. That's on them. All right. Okay, fine. Yeah. If you love my sense of humor and you find it funny, please go ahead. Slide into Hannah's DMs. She doesn't check them. I,

I do, actually. I've been checking them lately, and we've gotten so many awesome messages from people who listen to this podcast, sharing so many amazing things and details. That should be another Loft meeting where we read the DMs because...

I'm sure you get them too. People are like, well, this episode, I noticed this. What's really going on here? We need to have like a loft meeting DM edition. I'm down for that. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. But folks, thank you. Thank you again for listening. We love you. Season three, baby. That's right. And as usual, be sure to follow us on IG at The Mess Around Pod. And we will be back next week with episode 302.

We also have a bunch of wicked new merch that has dropped. So head to themassaroundpod.com and snap it all up because it sells out pretty fast. Pretty, pretty quickly. I'm still, I gotta get this one again because I'm outgrowing this one again.

I got to get a new one of these too. Anyway, bye, y'all. Love y'all. Peace. Bye. That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

That's F.

This ad is sponsored by Facet. Facet Wealth Incorporated is an SEC-registered investment advisor. This is not an offer to buy or sell securities, nor is it investment, legal, or tax advice. VU2, an immersive concert film, is now showing at Sphere Las Vegas. VU2 is an immersive concert film, and you've never seen or heard U2 like this before. Whether you missed the legendary rock band's epic concert run at Sphere or want to relive it,

VU2 lets you feel like you're there in a one-of-a-kind experience. Tickets available now at thesphere.com. It's time to play big on Moto Social Casino. America's hottest free-to-play social casino experience. Moto.us has live casino games. It's time.

Play big. Win bigger. On Moto.us today. Moto is a social casino. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Visit Moto.us for more details. It's time. Moto.us.

When you walk through our doors, your world expands. Your adventure begins with a spectacle of bioluminescent light, a symphony of shorebird sounds, or a touch of wonder as you hold a hermit crab in your palm. Every moment is filled with the promise of discovery as you become an advocate for the ocean. Book your tickets today. Monterey Bay Aquarium, inspiring conservation of the ocean. Visit montereybayaquarium.org slash together.