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The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard-pressed to forget. I did something in '88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh gosh, the US Olympic trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes, we're going out there smashing into each other full force.
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9-1-1, what's your emergency? Mr. Vandy is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry. Lick them, lick those toesies. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
So, uh, babe. Yeah, babe. We're talking about a parking spot today. Um,
It's the bane of my existence in L.A. Really? You can't find parking spaces? Never. It is so hard to find parking in L.A. Yeah, for your Rolls Royce. Yeah. It's a big car. I wish. It's a big car. I always, it's the craziest thing in this city that it causes stress and you have to like bank in time. You're like, oh, dinner's at 830. Well, we have to get there like a half an hour early to like circle around.
Yeah. There's no valet. Uber. That's why Uber is such an important. That's why I'm mad I never invested in it. It was never even brought to my attention. I know. I'm mad about it, too. I know a lot of people that did invest in it. I know. They're living large. They're like, man, I gave them $10,000. Yeah. What did it turn into? $80 billion. Damn, you're rich. That's right. I'm telling you. That was crazy. I know some early investors and I'm like, low key. It's a really funny thing how that kind of like lands in your brain because you go like,
Why don't you tell me? Like they could see into the future. Yeah. Like they're investing in front of a bunch of other crazy stuff too that turned into nothing. Exactly. And so every once in a while they hit it. That's right. They play the numbers. Oh boy. We love money. I mean, that's what I'm doing. I don't know what's happening. I want everybody to gather around now. Gather around. I like that. Yeah.
Yes! Mess around! Mess around! Uh-huh! Mess around! Oh, my goodness! Look at that! They're messing around! They're messing around! Um...
Here, but when I rewatched the episode, Parking Spot, part of my brain was like, is this just like very like LA centric, like this particular episode? Because I felt the stress of it. If there was one parking spot amongst all my roommates, but I'm like, does this translate to anywhere else in the world? That level of like...
I need it. It does. Because I can tell you, I'm currently, I just sold my house in Chicago. And I'm looking for a smaller place in the city city. An actual heart in the West Loop area. I'm looking for a place. And I found this place that I really liked. Problem was, it's a decent sized place. You know what I mean? It's two floors. It's got a great rooftop deck. It's an awesome place. Four bedrooms. Four bedrooms.
one parking space. It has a garage, but it only fits one car. And I sat there and I stared a hole through this realtor and I said, man, four bedrooms, that means probably at least multiple adults living in here. Where am I supposed to park? And he's like, oh, well,
Some of these other houses right here, they rent out their garages. Sure. So I'm going to go park my car in somebody else's garage. Insane. In what world am I doing that? Yeah. People are strange. Next thing you know, you got people doing all kinds of odd things on top of your car. Sure. Which is in this episode, there's a moment where Jess comes back and she sees outside Dave sleeping on her car. Okay, break down the episode so we can get into it, man. Okay. Because it's already feeling heated. All right.
I'm mad about this. I'm mad about it, too. After Schmidt discovers that the loft comes with a parking spot, an all-out war between the loft mates ensues for who gets it. Manipulation, used hoodies, stripped teases, and a no-nail oath are just some of the tricks that are used. Meanwhile, Winston, who is all but ready to do sex things with Daisy, is sent on a side quest all over town to find...
First of all, I would just like to say something. We used to say this all the time on New Girl. Dumbest Boy Alive. Dumbest Boy Alive is something we said all the time. Schmidt, dumbest boy alive for telling anybody about the parking spot, which he realizes very quickly at the top of this episode. What are you doing? Yeah, why would you do that? Why? Yeah. So stupid. Stupid, but.
He's honest. Well, it's that thing where it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Yeah. I feel like he missed that. He did. That Maya Angelou chapter of life. He did. But also, this is silly. We've discussed this before in the past, how big and expensive this law must be. You mean to tell me these ignorant ass people didn't say, hey, do we have a parking space?
No, they didn't. Have you watched the show? No, these characters, they were not sitting there and asking. It does feel like something Schmidt would ask and Schmidt would know. I would not think that Nick or Jess or Winston, with how wild you are in the first few seasons, are asking these questions. I would also say that most apartment buildings, they go street parking.
It's just street parking and street parking. What do you mean most apartment buildings? Hannah, you haven't lived in an apartment in decades. I have. I've only lived in apartments. And it was street parking or like some weird, creepy. I live in an apartment building where it was like a shed behind the house in an alley you had to park in. And it was the creepiest walk of my life from the shed that I had to park in to my apartment door. That took my life in my hands every single time I felt like.
I've never been in an apartment where they didn't have. You've been to that apartment that I'm talking about when I lived on Sweetser. Oh, Sweetser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and there was this shed in the back through the courtyard. However, parking spot nonetheless. It was a huge battle that was actually in that little Melrose Place style complex because everybody else, there was like four little sheds in the alley and it was two cars per shed. But my apartment just happened to be so low.
Which you would think, oh, that's amazing because you don't have to worry about somebody coming in and dinging your car or something. Because these sheds were super tiny, super tight, like we see at the end of this episode. It was exactly like that. Except for as a girl that was living alone, every time that shed opened, it was also slash a spot for someone who was unhoused. Yeah. Yeah.
To live. Well, look, at least you got a roommate. A car had a roommate. Sometimes. Somebody got to keep it. Somebody got to protect it. And it wasn't so bad coming into park because then you could like, it would open. Someone would run out. It was actually more stressful. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. That's what I'm trying to say. People would sleep in there. You would open your shed and people would run out? One person would run out who was sleeping there.
And look, you know, we had a deal. It was fine. I didn't mind. It was much more creepy, though, on New Girl when I was shooting and it was like a 4 a.m. call time. And now I have to go in the shed to get my car. That's worse. It was better to come home and the shed door opens and I'm like, I got to park here. And he's like, OK, peace, I'm out. And then but me trying to open the door to get in my car and be like.
I don't die today. Making mistakes downtown. This is why I'm saying I felt the stress when I was watching this episode. I was like, man, a parking spot in a secure location. I would be sitting there peeing myself too. All right, folks, let's go to break. And when we come back, we're going to talk more about this episode.
The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard pressed to forget. I did something in '88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh gosh, the US Olympic trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes, we're going out there smashing into each other full force.
Listen to The Podium on the iHeart app or your favorite podcast platform weekly and every day during the games to hear the Olympics like you've never quite heard them before.
Hi, I'm Katie Lowes. And I'm Guillermo Diaz. And now we're back with another season of our podcast, Unpacking the Toolbox, where Guillermo and I will be rewatching the show. To officially unpack season three of Scandal. Unpredictable. You don't see it coming. It's a wild, wild ride. The twists and turns in season three. Mesmerizing. But also,
Also, we get to hang out with all of our old Scandal friends like Bellamy Young, Scott Foley, Tony Goldwyn, Debbie Allen, Kerry Washington. So many people. Even more shocking assassinations from Papa and Mama Pope. And yes, Katie and I's famous teeth pulling scene that kicks off a romance. And it was peak TV. This is new Scandal content.
content for your eyes, for your ears, for your hearts, for your minds. Well, suit up, gladiators. Grab your big old glass of wine and prepare yourselves for even more behind the scenes. Listen to Unpacking the Toolbox on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage. I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is.
I think he was like, oh, yeah, things come and go. But with me, it never came and went. Is she Donna Martin or a down-and-out divorcee? Is she living in Beverly Hills or a trailer park? In a town where the lines are blurred, Tori is finally going to clear the air in the podcast Misspelling. When a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain. I just filed for divorce. Whoa. I said the words.
that I've said like in my head for like 16 years. Wild. Listen to Misspelling on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours. BPM 110, 120, 120.
She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond the headlines and the soundbites to have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed, just not feeling pressed.
This is what I'm most proud of. I'm proud of Mary because I've been through hell and some horrible things. That feeling that I had of inadequacy is gone. You're going to die being you. So you got to constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly.
Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials, you need to share it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we are back. Top of the episode. Top of the episode. Does not start with the parking spot. It doesn't start at the parking spot. But really quick, I just want to say, directed by Fred Goss and written by Rebecca Adelman. Love Rebecca Adelman. Right. Huge fan. Love Fred. Yeah, love Fred. Fred is the silliest. He's...
He is very silly. He's also an actor. That's why. Yeah, he's great. He gets it. He loved being on set shooting this show. We loved having him. Did we ever have him in any episodes? No, I don't think so. Which is so strange. He's so funny. Yeah. Okay, let's dive right in. Dive right in. So it starts off with Nick and Jess brushing their teeth side by side. And it's not weird. It's not weird. It's their whole point.
Here's the thing. If you've like broken the seal, like as friends, like you've kissed, you've made out, you're grown. Is there always just going to be like that, you know, like that, what's that thing? Like the elephant in the room?
Yeah. Forever, right? Until you like. Until you just go for it. Right. You either go for it or establish aggressively that this is not, this ain't it. But it's always going to be a little weird. They're just sitting there and then he makes a joke about like, we should just have sex. Yeah. Like he says it. Yeah. Big foreshadowing because it ends up they can't handle it. Right. Right.
I think ultimately he knows. They both do. They both know they want to be with each other. But Nick obviously can't express himself and he can't say what he wants. So he beats around the bush a lot. And she's just an awkward 13-year-old. That's right. Trapped in a 30-year-old. But a lot of lust. Yeah. It's very lusty. Very, very lusty. You know, like me, I used to live with three women. I think we talked about this right before I booked New Girl. I lived in this townhouse. It was me and three women.
Fuck them all. No, I'm kidding. You did not. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You did not. It was funny to say in the moment. I did not. I did not. I did not. Tell the truth. Just like Schmidt with a parking spot. No one was interested. Yeah, I was messing around with one of them. And she's a lovely young lady. But the thing is, we dated prior. We had a whole new girl situation going on. Her and I had dated prior. Did it make it weird for everyone else? No, not at all. It did when we were arguing.
That's what I'm saying. So it did. It did. We were fighting. All of a sudden, they're with like an old married couple and it's supposed to be just like four friends. Yeah. But it was weird because it was weird because I was the only man in there. You know, girl code. They always stuck together. Sure. No one ever had my back. You made a dumb. You were the dumbest boy alive. I'd be like, man, can you believe this shit? Can you believe she said this? And they'd be like, yeah, we believe that she said it. Yes, we can. Yeah. You're an idiot. Who got my back in here? No one. So I moved out.
Seriously. He was like, peace, y'all. I booked New Girl and I was like, outie. This is what happened before I was in your life to be like, listen, zip it up. I don't know where that came from, The Dumbest Boy Alive. Oh my gosh, the origin of The Dumbest Boy Alive. I genuinely don't know, but what?
we would just say it on set all the time. Dumbest Boy Alive. Dumbest Boy Alive. We would say Dumbest Boy in School. Dumbest Boy in School. Dumbest Boy in School. And we would just say it. I don't remember who started it. I don't know if there's an origin story. It just was said. There's a lot of inside jokes that were on our show.
That I don't remember the origin for. Until Damon came along. Then Damon kick-started a lot of new stuff. I think that was a Max thing. I think he... That's right, you're the dumbest boy alive. Dumbest boy in school. Like, he would say that. And he would yell it. Yeah. And then it just became part of the show. Yeah. But it was said off-camera a lot. Oh, a lot. Oh, because we meant it. Yeah, mainly when talking about Jake. Mainly. That's true. He couldn't operate a coffee machine once that was labeled. Yeah. Meaning...
It had in a white piece of paper latte, white piece of paper espresso, white piece of coffee, and then a glowing green button next to them. You would put your cup down and you would press the button. Jake, one time I walk in there and he's making himself a coffee and he's like, work this damn thing.
He's like mumbling to himself. I said, Jake, just press the button. He was like, I am pressing the button. He's pressing the white label. That's clearly a piece of paper. And he's like pressing it over and over again. There's a line here where he talks about the wiffy in this episode. And that was definitely pulled from real life because I'll never forget. We're waiting for a setup of a scene or something was happening. We were all standing in the kitchen. We're all on our phones because that's what people do. We're all the cast are on their phones just
doing our own thing. And Jake was just sitting there. Right. And I was like, oh, we were trying to Google something, some song lyric. I remember some weird song lyric and he was talking about it and I was like, Google it. And he's like, I can't. I was like, why do you goes? Well, my phone doesn't have Wifi. And I was like, what? First of all,
how are you pronouncing this word? Second of all, I was, I remember being like, come here, grandma. Yeah. And like took his phone, like swipe down, showed him how to do it, how to connect it. I was like, he thought that whole, however long he'd had that phone. Oh. That it did not connect.
To the Wi-Fi. So you know when you have your phone... He's like, I didn't pay for it. And I'm like... Yeah, you're like, oh, you know how Wi-Fi works. It's the phone. I didn't get that option. It's like, I didn't get the warranty on it. He's like, it's data only. I was like, you can turn... Oh, God. I was like, I didn't know what to do with you. Do you know how... So here's your phone. Yeah. And...
When you want the screen to go black, either you have it on like automatic, like it shuts off after 60 seconds of inactivity. You can put it to it never shuts off, whatever the case may be. Jake, when we'd be filming right before they call action, he would take the phone and always put it down like this. And he would always do that. And one day I asked him, he would do this all the time. This is going on for like months. And I said, why do you always set your phone down like this? He's like, so I don't want the light to...
I don't want the light to be flashing up. Genius. And he's like telling me about lighting and shit. And I was just letting him talk. And I was like, yeah, you know, so you know you can just turn it off. He's like, oh, what? I'm going to go into my settings and then go down and like shut the phone off every time I want to have the screen go to black. I said, Jake, you just press this button. And he was like, what?
I said, you've never pressed the button? Never pressed the button, no. I said, how long have you had this phone? You've never pressed the button. It's like, you fucking idiot. I do think that there was something that happened when all of us came together in that show where really, like, it was the combination of all of us that gave, like, one solid brain. Like, teaching people just basic things that seemed to make sense. We were all just like babies when we started the show. And there were certain things that were just like,
I just never figured that out. But Jake's were the funniest because they were all about technology. Oh, 100%. Pretty straightforward. 100%. So him saying Wiffy in this, you're right. I just remember that moment of all of us sitting there waiting for the scene to go or something. Not on this episode, a different thing. And I think there's so much of that in New Girl where they would steal moments from who we were as people and put it in the show because it was so funny to them and you couldn't make it up.
Right. And Wiffy is one of them. So.
So meanwhile, while Nick and Jess are in the bathroom, Schmidt crashes into the bathroom. And like an idiot, screams, he found the parking spot. So dumbest boy alive. Dumbest boy alive. Yeah. And then he rips the towel off the wall. So strong. But again, I understand it because of all of my parking spot trauma. I was like, I get it. Like you have just found gold. You have found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It exists. It's there. But he rips the towel rack off the wall.
He's so excited. So strong. And he also used to do CrossFit, so he probably actually ripped that off the wall. Yeah, he actually was very strong then. Now, here's the thing. All the loft mates, like, what's fair? They're all deciding who should get the spot. Just as they're sharing, which a lot of people in LA do. Yeah. They split a spot. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Which is kind of a nice feeling. And the boys immediately say no. That's fair. But I think, if I recall, maybe I'm wrong, wasn't there a discussion about...
who was paying the most in rent. Because I know there's a big dog room, season one, we were talking about who gets the big room, the little room, the small room. And so I was of the mindset that, you know, who's paying the most rent gets the parking spot.
Oh, see, they had the opposite. The person in the smallest room should get the spot. Well, that must mean they're all paying the same amount of money. Yeah, that's right. So they're saying this makes sense. What I thought was also funny is everybody tries to play the card. Lady card, race card, lazy drunk card. Everybody's like, no, it doesn't matter. We all have a card. We don't get to play the card. That's true. That's true. Just putting it out there. I think Jess should have got the spot.
I mean, the fact that she's a girl in a parking spot, I was just like, this makes the most sense. But yeah, the boys didn't think like that. They didn't think that way. Makes it very funny. And she says, obviously, she says Cher. Did anybody else come up with a suggestion? I know Nick said he's out. He backed out. It was one of my favorite moments because I truly feel of all the characters I genuinely relate to the most, it is Nick Miller for myself.
And when Schmidt and Jess like just kind of like stare him down because he has to plead his case. And then he's like, I don't care that much. I don't care about anything that much to get as weird as you all are about to get. And he just bails. And they're like, but then he becomes the decider, unfortunately for him. But I could relate to that moment to be like, oh, I
I don't have a competitive bone in my body. You two are so competitive. I'm instantly out because I'll never go the distance with you two. And I wouldn't, I honestly wouldn't, me personally, I wouldn't give a shit. Okay, your storyline in this is horrible.
It's not that wild. I feel like it's a little wild that you just go like, I'm out of the conversation. I don't care about this parking spot. I have a sex window. It's the only thing that matters. You race over there. Winston races over there without the one thing that he would need. No, he has the one thing that he needs, his penis. Because that's why people forget. People forget. Condoms, new. Penises, old. Yeah.
It's a bit of... You know what I mean? If you weren't over there with a condom and no penis, then what are you going to do? I'm just saying, I feel like the two go hand in hand. If you ain't trying to make a baby, the two should go hand in hand. You should have that condom with you. Pull-out method strong, but not that strong. Pull-out game. Aggressive. No. No, you're right. You're 100% right. But I... In my mind... In my mind, I'm...
In TV land. Yes. It's rare that we see people break out a condom. That's true. They just go for it. Yes. And network comedy, especially. They're not sitting there being like, and. Let me tell you exactly. It's an after school special. It's so weird because, because, and this is, this is how I know racism is alive and
well in the movies when white people be kissing and having sex they just go for it they slam up against the wall they remember we talked about this the violence they move stuff out of the way and then they just go for it breaking tables yeah black and Asian yeah make sure you get them condoms
We don't need y'all procreating. Yeah. I hope that's not what the new girl writers were trying to do. I don't think so. No, but yes. So he had to go to this place to go do the thing. Yes. And fun fact about that scene, I still have those underwear that Winston was wearing. What underwear?
The ones that he was wearing. I didn't notice. Honestly, the only thing I remember you wearing are the yum yum or the yum, the pink yum pants. But the pink yum pants were daisies. Yes, I know. How did he get them on?
He took his clothes off. I remember I saw Brenda in her bra and underwear. It was actually a very cute matching set. It looked amazing. I don't remember you in it. I wasn't looking. Why would you, out of all the things to keep, you kept? No, because when you get to work, when you get to work, they make, if you have a scene, you can't wear your own underwear because they want to make sure, you have to wear all the padding and stuff underneath. What padding underneath? It's padding to protect the audience from seeing, you know, all that, all that print. Yeah.
The print of what? That ham sandwich. I can't right now with the ham sandwich. That bratwurst. Wait, there's special show underwear that's padded to Ken doll you? Yes. Every time you see someone on TV with underwear on, majority of the time they make the Ken doll you because they don't want the audience to have that visual.
of your goodies. I genuinely did not know that. You didn't know that? No, I mean, I wore my bra and underwear several times on New Girl and they would just bring in like a cute...
Pair of brown underwear from like a store. When you wear a bra, do you put pasties on underneath the bra? No. You wear pasties underneath it. So what if it's lace? You just walked around nippled out on Fox? They just had a bra that would not have you nipple. There's no sexy lingerie like that. Nippled out. What are you, mesh underpants that they had to pad you out? Why would they just get you normal male underwear? Because then they're going to see all that.
Snake outline. How thick is this padding? No, how thick is that outline is what you need to be asking. No, I'm genuinely asking. So is the whole underwear padded in thick? It's like a flesh colored thick kind of like underwear, but they have a drawstring. So you tighten it. Get out. So if you...
sorry for the visual but if you're like this they want you to curl it under it's a tuck it's a tuck you gotta take it i mean so kendall is like an accurate way to describe what happens yes then you put underwear on top then you put underwear on top of that so which one did you steal the kendall underwear or just this regular pair of underpants that go on top the ones that go on top i wouldn't steal the kendall stuff which is the regular underpants don't
Don't you just have regular underpants? They don't. It's for TV purposes. They don't let you. No, but I'm saying, well, why would you steal just a regular underwear you're putting on top of your Ken doll underwear? Because when I was leaving, they're like, we can't use these anyway.
So I just kept them. But were they special? No, I just kept them. I haven't worn them, but I have them because I'm packing. And I saw them and I was like, oh, this is the same junk from... Are they just like black underwear? No. How do you tell them from all your other underwear? Because they're something I wouldn't wear. They're blue with white stripes on it. Like with white piping, I should say. Got it. Okay. I never noticed. I didn't look. Anna, stop. Stop.
Everybody looked. I did not look. The people were intrigued. The minds were curious. I don't think so. I'm really shocked. If you're listening to this episode and you knew what Lamorne was talking about, you knew he was talking about blue underpants with white piping. Yeah.
It's just you and Lamorne. I feel like y'all are alone on this. No, everybody knew. It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. All right, fine. Okay, well, I learned something. I really did not know that that's what they did. I don't know how many years I've done television and I did not know that you guys had Ken doll tuck pants. Yeah, and I know women have modesty patches.
A who what? Modesty patches. You don't know what modesty patches are? No! Hannah, they ain't... Hannah, first of all, let's just break this down for a second. Nobody wants to see my body on TV this way. You don't need modesty patches for network TV because we're not showing that type of stuff. That's what I do. I do network TV. Right. So a modesty patch is when... By the way, this sounds so puritanical. The modesty patch. What is it? Here's what a modesty patch is. If you're doing a sex scene, right...
I'm already out. And they show like the woman's body, the lower half. Yeah. They have a patch that's flesh colored. It's like sticky tape that covers the... Have you done a sex scene? Yeah.
On what? My camera phone. Born? Baby, put this modesty patch on first. No one will be able to tell. I can't pick it out of a lineup. No, I have. In Woke, I did a sex scene and she had to wear a modesty patch.
It was weird. It was like, all right, I'm wearing like I'm not mature enough for any of this. If someone was like, put this modesty patch on. I'd be like, I got to call a lawyer. You know who didn't wear modesty patch? Halle Berry and Monsters Ball. They were doing it to each other.
Really? Yeah, but we can move on. Good God. We digress. This just feels like a real... We should have... I want to get someone from our incredible wardrobe department to come in here and talk to us about this whole situation. I really did not know. Yeah. It feels like on network TV, too, it's like such a...
like crazy thing to do. Cause you don't really see anything or do anything. Like it's a pretty protected, like type of television. You can't walk around. If you walking around with a hammer and we ain't filming Thor, we're not going to do it.
They got to cover that up. They got to cover that up. You can't just walk around swinging like that. Okay, so you kept the underpants. I kept the underpants. Good to know. So I still have them. For any fans, I'll auction those. I'll sign those and auction those off for any weirdos out there. I guess they technically never touched anything. No, they touched the outside of a modesty patch.
Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. I think we had to go to break. I need a second to process. Yeah. Okay. I didn't realize all those years that you guys were all tucked in. Yeah. Wearing nudie little underwear. Yeah. That's padded. Let's go to break.
The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard pressed to forget. I did something in '88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh gosh, the US Olympic trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes, we're going out there smashing into each other full force.
Listen to The Podium on the iHeart app or your favorite podcast platform weekly and every day during the games to hear the Olympics like you've never quite heard them before.
Hi, I'm Katie Lowe's and I'm Guillermo Diaz. And now we're back with another season of our podcast, unpacking the toolbox where Guillermo and I will be rewatching the show to officially unpack season three of scandal. Unpredictable. You don't see it coming. It's a wild, wild ride. The twists and turns in season three mesmerizing, but
Also, we get to hang out with all of our old Scandal friends like Bellamy Young, Scott Foley, Tony Goldwyn, Debbie Allen, Kerry Washington. So many people. Even more shocking assassinations from Papa and Mama Pope. And yes, Katie and I's famous teeth pulling scene that kicks off a romance. And it was peak TV. This is new Scandal KCBQ.
content for your eyes, for your ears, for your hearts, for your minds. Well, suit up gladiators, grab your big old glass of wine and prepare yourselves for an even more behind the scenes. Listen to unpacking the toolbox on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do.
One session, 24 hours. BPM 110, 120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams.
Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling, as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage. I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is.
I think he was like, oh, yeah, things come and go. But with me, it never came and went. Is she Donna Martin or a down-and-out divorcee? Is she living in Beverly Hills or a trailer park? In a town where the lines are blurred, Tori is finally going to clear the air in the podcast Misspelling. When a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain. I just filed for divorce. Whoa, I said the words. Yeah.
That I've said like in my head for like 16 years. Wild. Listen to Misspelling on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Cheaters and Backstabbers. I'm Shadi Diaz. And I'm Kate Robards. And we are New York City stand-up comedians and best friends. And we love a good cheating and backstabbing story. Oops.
So this is a series where our guests reveal their most shocking cheating stories. Join us as we learn how to avoid getting our hearts broken or our backs slashed. Listen to Cheaters and Backstabbers on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And we are back. If you're just tuning in, Hannah's confused about male anatomy.
Weird. Very, very weird. But she is confused. I just learned something about a wardrobe department that I had no idea about. Okay. Let's just cap that off with the fact that he couldn't find a condom. He ran through the city. He tried to buy one. He realized he didn't have his pants on, so he didn't have his wallet, didn't have his phone, so he couldn't call Daisy. If you were at a pharmacy and there was a guy wearing girls' condoms,
and stood up and was like, I just need a condom. Would you just buy him a pack of condoms? I would buy him a pack of condoms. I would actually too. Yeah. I'd be like, man, I ain't shaming you. You're trying to do the right thing here. I'd be like, I just put it on my belt. Give that guy that condom and get him out of here. Give that man a condom. I would do the same thing. Absolutely. I didn't think anything was wrong with it. I thought that pharmacist guy was being a little crazy. He was a bit aggressive. Didn't like that. Not at all. Didn't like that choice. Okay. So then Jess, she walks into Nick's room. Mm-hmm.
In his hoodie, being all sexual, she's eating the drawstring and she says it's crunchy. Why is that so like such a universal sexy thing? She had like the tousled hair. She had just like the hoodie on. She had one shoulder out. And I feel like any human being watching it was just like, this is sexy. But it's like a hoodie. No, that's universally sexy. You did not find that like a little titillating? No. No.
Really? No. Are you wearing the padded pants right now? I put my legs across. That scene was exciting for me.
I was like, why is that so universal when a girl puts on her boyfriend's sweatshirt or the thing? See, I wouldn't want my girlfriend wearing my hoodie because then she'd probably smell the other woman's perfume. Oh, for goodness sakes. I don't be cheating. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. Again, you set it up. Yeah.
But I think part of it is also that we all know there's nothing underneath that hoodie. So that's why it's sexy. The bare shoulder, there's no bra strap. You're going like, all right. So she's trying to use her womanly, wily ways. She could be wearing a little test protector. To get the spot. Yeah, it don't matter. Doesn't matter. Got it. Heard. That's why the apron with nothing underneath is, because you're like, oh, ain't nothing underneath that. Well, that's like very, you can see that nothing's underneath it, but it's just an apron. And you just look at a naked lady with like a napkin on.
Yeah. But you know, I'm underneath that napkin. Unless she's wearing a modesty patch. We're going to have to change this episode from parking spot to modesty patch. Oh, my stomach hurts from laughing.
Okay. So there's a lot of bribery going on. Yeah. Well, the part that was also so funny, she comes in in the hoodie. She's being a little flirty and he's like, all right, you have the spot, whatever. Then he goes in for a hug. And then her response, because she's trying to like still resist temptation. She's still trying to make sure this is only says that a kiss. We're not battling. Is she purple nurples him? She does. Hard. Brings him to his knees. Yeah. Have you ever been purple nurpled? Yeah. Really? What? Oh my God. Yeah. People think it's funny.
Well, that's not funny. No, it doesn't feel funny to me. Yeah, that's like flicking somebody in the... I've never purple-purpled anybody. I would hope not. Like, even, like, young, but you're saying it's happened. I'm surprised. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys do it to other guys because they think it's funny.
Guys also used to just like pop you in the balls because they think it's funny. I'm like, man, you might stop me from having children, brother. That's not hilarious. Pop you in the balls. Just a straight up ball tap. You should have, you stole the wrong underwear. Yeah, I know. If you had the padded underwear, you'd be ready for any pop pop. I know. It's like, you know, I should. I mean, for me, I also took those too, to be honest with you. No, I didn't. No, but that happens. That's a real thing. So purple nurples, ball taps, whatever.
Sometimes you take an electrode and anyway. So they have this purple nurple moment. They come out and then Schmidt identifies because he did not know about the kiss. Right. And now he finds out. He sniffs it. He's so far. When he looks at him, he goes, it smells like freaking Tijuana in here. Yeah.
I feel like it's funny. I've seen that like as a meme and I never understood where it was from or what it was about. It's so true when you could all of a sudden like recognize sexual tension. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you're like, what happened? Something happened. The air smells different. 100%. And then Jess admits to Schmidt that she and Nick, they kissed. Right?
Hey, folks, we're going to go to break. But when we come back, Hannah has some explaining to do. Something very, very important that we all want to know.
And we are back. Hannah, I'm looking at your face right now and you look guilty. You know what? It's funny. So I was talking to my beloved Wendy Heisler, who also works on this podcast. I love her so much. And we were talking about season two of New Girl. And we were saying it. These were her words. She's like, it's a perfect season of television. And I was like, man, I forgot until I rewatched that. This is really like hit after hit with every episode. I'm like, this is an incredible season we did. Mm hmm.
Except in one department. And I feel like they were so good on making sure the storylines were tight and that it was so funny and the jokes were hitting and all this stuff that they didn't remember to always put the bear in a place that I could easily find it for future me in this podcast. So this episode, this episode, it's just...
Do you see why I have to do that whole preamble? So in this episode for the Where's the Bear? Where's the Bear? It's just on the fridge and we do see it on the fridge. And I know we've talked about the fridge a lot. I'm just saying season two, it's a bit harder. Did you find a bear in the next episode we're doing? I did. Okay, good. Because that was an easy one.
So we're going to talk about it. That makes me really happy too. Yeah. Okay. So if you're just a Where's the Bear fan, then just skip the rest of this episode and go to the next. Go to First Date. Because on First Date, it's great. Okay. So you didn't find the bear yet again letting down millions of fans. But they're still on my side. Sure. If you think so. Believers. If you think so. Okay. So back to the parking spot. So now they're in a race, right? Because all of a sudden Nick says, okay.
I don't want to be the decider anymore. I don't want to be the suggestor anymore. It's too much pressure. He wants the spot. He's being manipulated back and forth. He cannot take the pressure. Now he wants it. And so now it's a mad dash. Whoever is in the spot first gets the spot. And it's one of the funniest things in the world to watch them scatter like roaches. Oh, yeah. And they just start running through the city.
that Jake throws the money at the kids? At the kids, yes. I was like, you know all of that is just Jake handling the scene because it probably just said he went and got the, you know, pulled it off, tried to get the car, but it's him screaming, the car won't start and doing the, I was in tears. Well, I find, another cool thing about it was it's, it showcased
with car. Meaning, yes, of course, Nick's car is covered in cardboard boxes. Yeah, that's right. Of course, Jess's car is covered in cats. That's right. And of course, she stops to take a picture of it in the middle of her mad dash car.
you know, of trying to find this parking spot. we have to talk about something right before they scatter like roaches because it's one of the most iconic New Girl moments and I forgot it fully existed and I was laughing, which is when he is like leaving the apartment because the tension is too high. Right before he says, I'm taking the spot is they have a weird off. Yes. The weird off at the elevator. Mm-hmm.
also had me in tears because again that was just the genius of those two actors bouncing off of each other back and forth and committing to their weirdness and I loved it so much because it's the stuff you can't write right it's just like they get weird yeah they say weird or weird or weird or weirder and they could have done anything and somehow what they did is like
the oddest choice. Like you would think they would have used their bodies or the space more and instead it's just face stuff and hands. It's just weird face stuff and like broken wrist stuff. You could tell that was Liz Merriweather though. I feel like she was probably like tighter and smaller. No, go weirder. No, get out.
Can you do some deal? I don't know. She probably did one of those things. And then they were like, I guess you want some face stuff. Yeah. Well, it makes sense, though, because that's how it plays in like a network comedy. You're in that tight shot usually most of the time. So it was a smart thing to do to keep it like that. I just I mean, I wasn't there that day, but I wonder how far it went and how many alternate versions of weird. Yes. They were asked to do because this is season two. We got asked to do alternate versions of everything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
yeah there's probably some less weird some in fact we have when we have these rap parties they'll show the blooper reels and i feel like some of these blooper reels they exist they exist on the dvd season two definitely has a blooper reel i feel like that's out i'm curious if it's on there if there's more extra weird stuff in there mostly as i was just breaking and laughing i feel like now cc she thanks chevron for giving her a second chance and say oh yeah saying her friends really aren't that bad and this is when we discover winston is still on the
prowl for his condom because he comes banging on the door aggressively. It's one of my favorite moments because it was also one of those things that was so true to life is that you and I had not spent on camera barely any time together. And so when you bust in looking for the condom, I think my character says, we don't know each other that well. I've met you two times. How do you know where I live? This is problematic.
And the fact that it's spoken out loud makes me laugh so hard. Because the first thing when I see you bust in, I was sitting there as a fan watching the show going, how did he even know where she lives? Why would he even try? He's a future detective. It was so funny that they had CeCe say it out loud. Yeah. And then Winston asked to borrow a condom. But he says he does have it in his wallet. He has one. And he doesn't.
handed over yeah well that was like so no weird no it was cc was her it was dismissing winston like you kept telling him to get out that's right he should have gone but then you asked the question he said i do have one and then you say like so you're gonna have to use it tonight for a while this also felt like a very like blurred lines between a winston lamorne moment because i could see you being like okay i'm wrong i shouldn't be here i get it yeah but also quick
You want to use that thing? It's like, let me ask her because I respect women. Is he going to have to use it? So wildly crazy. So funny. Okay. There's a standoff now back at the parking spot. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah. And they talk about the no nail oath.
Ooh, yeah. Yeah, that was aggressive. Which is a real thing. It's a real thing. It's not, I feel like when people live together, you do have a responsibility to keep it civil. But isn't it usually unsaid and definitely unwritten? No, I think, no, written is one thing. I don't think this, because they've written down a bunch of other things as well. You know, but, but, but.
You have to say it at least. It has to be addressed. Like, listen, we want to live peacefully. Please, if you don't do it, ghost. I don't know. It's one of those things where you don't want to screw up the dynamic of the place you live. Yeah. You know what I mean? But... The no-nail oath is so wildly offensive. Yeah.
And I loved the choices that Zoe made and her reactions. Because it was completely spot on. But what was funny about it was that even after she was so offended by this no-nail oath, which in theory is a great idea, but you're very offensive. But they didn't go, well, we have to kiss. And she's like, all right. I was like, wait, you're offended by...
guys saying you can't have sex with this person, but not offended by this man saying, now you have to kiss me? I think honestly at that point, it's just anything that she can do to make it less weird because she's so wildly attracted to Nick Miller and she doesn't know what to do about it and she needs it to end. And I know she's definitely not in her right mind when she's doing it, but it's just like such a,
It's just such a funny moment to be like, maybe if this happens and then we'll all just be able to move on. I kind of get it. And she knows that she's got like nothing's going to come from that. Yeah. So. I don't know. When they're doing, by the way, I just want to talk about the standoff in that parking spot. It made me laugh so hard and something I've never forgotten about. I didn't really remember this episode so strongly, but I remember that thing because we've all had that feeling in life where Schmidt has to pee so badly. Yeah.
Yes. That he then pees inside his body. Yes. Like just like toxic poisoning of urine within his body. And I remember being like, is that a thing? Could that really happen? Yeah, you could pee inside yourself. You just release it internally? You could pee inside yourself. There's no way. Well, I could break down the mechanics, but it'll be gross and disgusting. Yeah. And we'll have to cut it. Yeah. Yeah.
I could break it down for you guys if you want me to. And then he just literally pees himself. Then he literally pees himself. At that point, I can't believe everybody didn't just go like, give him the spot. At that point, I couldn't understand why he doesn't realize he's in a parking lot. Just pee on the ground.
Yeah, pee anywhere. Well, I'm really confused. I was so confused by that. But it is Schmidt. He's very particular. Yeah, he'd rather piss his own pants. I guess it just happened. But the way he's sitting, too, all curled up and crouched up so you couldn't see it. My favorite is when Nick found a piece of paper. He goes, look, it's got chocolate on it. And he starts licking the chocolate like a child. Of a dirty wrapper. Of a dirty wrapper. I've had to stop my three-year-old from doing that once upon a time.
Yeah. Well, there's a lot about Nick Miller that feels like a three-year-old sometimes. Oh, absolutely. The most mature person in that loft was Winston. Okay. So. Oh, and then Nick says that he regrets the kiss. And that's when she's like, I'm out. I'm leaving. Then he's like, I'm out. I'm leaving. Right. And then Schmidt's down there.
Right. And he's like, you better go after and fix it because that was like a hurtful thing to say. Yeah. Pretty, pretty hurtful. Yeah. What I found about his pants, though, when he did be, I know we're going backwards. Yeah. They didn't dress his pants right. I noticed that too when they were upstairs. His pants was in one little circle. Yeah. It didn't make sense. What happened? Also, if you had to pee that bad. Also, if the circle was down here, that means. He wasn't wearing the modesty pants. That mean that boy. Yeah.
Oh, that boy. Got that. Got that. Oh, we. You know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying super clearly. You get what I'm trying to say? I do. Yeah. I think it was more just like they put the water in the wrong spot.
I'm just saying. And they did it like in a terrible way. Nobody knows what's really going on down there because all of you guys were zipped up and tucked up and padded up. So nobody knows. But here's what I mean about how you pee inside of yourself. Now we know because now we know he he go down that way. So pee inside yourself when you tuck it.
Okay. Just put it up. All right. Then you pee inside your own. I feel like doctors are going to call us. They're going to, we have doctors in the DM being like, please don't say those things. They're not true. Nothing's happening within your body. You would go to the hospital. Oh, I digress. Oh yeah. Then Winston walks back in the loft. Yeah. And he's pissed off. He's letting the whole group know, you know, to,
Today has been a day. It's been a day. And he needs a W. He needs a win. Because everybody's having sex around here. But he walked in and he saw Jess and Schmidt kissing. He's like, damn, everybody in here. Everybody's got it going on. He's like, except for me. And so I need a win. And they agree. And the most classic L.A. thing happens where he gets the spot. But all those spots are so sardine together that you are now trapped. You're trapped. Yeah.
And he can't get out. I know friends who've had parking spots like at their apartments and you have to like climb out the trunk because it's tight because you don't know what car your neighbor has next to you. And if they're just if it's too big, then that's what the deal is. You got to climb out the trunk. I don't want to park that bad.
I don't want to park that bad. So what happened to Winston? So you won, but did you? But now here's the thing with these Teslas. If your car is boxed in, you can hit a button. Not even Teslas, any car now. You can hit a button and it'll back the car out for you. Oh, and then repark it? No, it'll back it out for you so you can get in and out. Oh, I see what you're saying. So you could like, if you know you're not going to be able to get out, you hit the button, it'll
put itself in the spot for you. My car is not that fancy. I did not know that that was a thing. Rolls Royces have this feature. I have a boy's choice, not a Rolls Royce. A boy's choice? It's a bicycle. I just have a little bicycle I ride around town. I call it the boy's choice. Leave me alone. Somebody give me a car. Oh, yeah. This podcast is sponsored by Lamborghini of Beverly Hills.
Oh, wait, there's this moment that happened. We missed the moment. Oh, my gosh. I even written here because I freaked out about it right before like Schmidt's character busts in and Jess is carrying the fish sticks. Yeah. And they're about to get after it. You think, oh, my God, it's happening now. They tried to fight this whole episode from that toothbrush moment. It's about to happen.
And she drops the box and he goes, you dropped your fish sticks.
all it reminded me of is in Dirty Dancing, one of my favorite movies, there's the I carried a watermelon moment. Mm-hmm. And this iconic moment of being like awkward and like you just can't resist this incredible thing in person in front of you and you don't know what to do so you're doing something weird with a thing. I gotta watch this movie. But that's in the pilot of New Girl. Mm-hmm. And I was like, holy smokes, it's like a second bear. Dirty Dancing references. I love it.
And I feel like the fish sticks and the watermelon thing, they live in the same world. We're going to have another segment called Where's the Dirty Dancing Reference.
Hannah, these aren't real theories. The Swayze spot. These aren't real theories, Hannah. I'm a fan of this show that we are re-watching. I just happen to have also been on it. And I'm telling you, there seems to be a tie-in between that moment and the dropping the fish sticks and then the tension that felt very Dirty Dancing, which is in the pilot of New Girl. I'm just putting it out there if you agree with me. Say it loudly. Thank you so much. It's going to be six people.
Also remember, they did say this very loudly during the episode. Bitches be crazy. Yeah. And I would like to see when it comes to this moment. I might be a little crazy on it, but I'm sticking with it. Yeah. They were talking about you. I'll take it. I'll take it. Let's go to break. When we come back, I feel like we should probably mess around. Come on.
The podium is back with fresh angles and deep dives into Olympic and Paralympic stories you know, and those you'll be hard-pressed to forget. I did something in '88 that hasn't been beaten. Oh, gosh. The US Olympic Trials is the hardest and most competitive meet in the world. We are athletes. We're going out there smashing into each other full force.
Listen to The Podium on the iHeart app or your favorite podcast platform weekly and every day during the games to hear the Olympics like you've never quite heard them before.
Masmerizing.
Also, we get to hang out with all of our old scandal friends like Bellamy Young, Scott Foley, Tony Goldwyn, Debbie Allen, Kerry Washington. So many people. Even more shocking assassinations from Papa and Mama Pope. And yes, Katie and I's famous teeth pulling scene that kicks off a romance.
And it was Peak TV. This is new scandal content for your eyes, for your ears, for your hearts, for your minds. Well, suit up, gladiators. Grab your big old glass of wine and prepare yourselves for even more behind the scenes. Listen to Unpacking the Toolbox on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Meet the real woman behind the tabloid headlines in a personal podcast that delves into the life of the notorious Tori Spelling as she takes us through the ups and downs of her sometimes glamorous, sometimes chaotic life and marriage. I don't think he knew how big it would be, how big the life I was given and live is.
I think he was like, oh, yeah, things come and go. But with me, it never came and went. Is she Donna Martin or a down-and-out divorcee? Is she living in Beverly Hills or a trailer park? In a town where the lines are blurred, Tori is finally going to clear the air in the podcast Misspelling. When a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain. I just filed for divorce. Whoa, I said the words.
That I've said like in my head for like 16 years. Wild. Listen to Misspelling on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours. BPM 110.
120. She's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.
Welcome to Cheaters and Backstabbers. I'm Shadi Diaz. And I'm Kate Robards. And we are New York City stand-up comedians and best friends. And we love a good cheating and backstabbing story. Welcome.
So this is a series where our guests reveal their most shocking cheating stories. Join us as we learn how to avoid getting our hearts broken or our backs slashed. Listen to Cheaters and Backstabbers on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
And we are back. Back. Hannah, I learned a lot about you today. I learned that you don't know shit about male anatomy. I didn't know anything about the Ken Dolling of male actors for network comedies. That's right. I definitely need to see what these underpants look like. I would say I'll send you pictures, but then that's sexting.
You could send me any sort of crazy Alyssa thing and it would still never between us be considered sexting.
I would just be like, a child got hold of his phone. There's nothing that would ever, ever read to me that way. You could send me a picture of these underpants. I'm going to post the underpants online. They're in my room. I'm going to take a picture. I'm going to put it on IG and just see if any fans identify with it. I'm not going to say nothing. I'm just going to say, if you know, you know. That's right. And then we'll see what they say. We'll see what they say. We'll see. They won't. All right, Hannah, let's mess around a little bit. Let's go. Babe. Yeah, babe.
Have you had the parking spot argument with a roommate before? Because I know you talked about how you had your own situation going on. The only time I've had...
like a parking spot situation and I, a situation and I wasn't an argument, I guess. There was just somebody that shared the shed with my car. Hey man, leave. That was, the shed door would open. He would leave. There was no conversation. We never spoke. Oh man. We were ships passing in the night. I could have been your future husband. How did you meet? Well, funny story. I,
I've never had that argument with anyone because all the apartments that I've lived in had assigned parking. Right. Well, technically, so did I. Yeah. So I've never, but he just self-assigned. No, my hands had gates. You know what I mean? Fancy. No, I wasn't. This is when like,
I was struggling. They just, the apartments happened to have a parking spot. And then, and then. Did you ever have to do tandem? That was the nightmare. No. To get into a tandem parking spot situation. Cause then it's like, someone come down, back the car. You got to go. You're going to get your. Do I have to do that?
It's so annoying. I don't think I ever had to do that. You know what I have had to do? Once I bought a house, my garage was half filled with storage stuff. It would be a two-car garage, but only space for my car. But then my brother, when me and my brother lived together, he would park behind me.
So there are times where he would come home after me and park behind me and then I can't get out. So I have to, hey, can you come move your car? That's what I'm talking about. It's so annoying. The moving of the cars. Yeah. Or then you have to move the car and then get your car out and then repark their car again. Yeah. I've had to do that before. First world problems. Okay. Does Schmidt's logic of him having to kiss Jess make any sense?
No, but I think they also feel like they have run out of road in resisting each other. And he's like, I don't want this living situation to get super weird. And so they're just trying anything. So I can see how in the situation to be like, fine. I'm surprised because it's the new girl universe that they didn't make it weirder and then go, well, now that Schmidt would say, Nick. Yeah. You and I. Yeah, now we have to do it.
I was just surprised it didn't have that extra level of Nick then being like, I'm not going to kiss you, man. Yeah. That's when you say that out loud, it feels like it's something that was actually shot.
Or at least Max threw that out there and they just didn't use it. I would not be surprised. Yeah. I think that would have happened. He'd be like, no nail oath. You have to kiss me. What are we talking about now? No one's nailing my mouth. That's right. God, that was funny. Yeah. For me, I don't think it makes any sense. No. But I can see how when you're desperate, you know, just like you suggest a weird thing. Mm-hmm.
We've all done that thing. We're like, why did he do that? Because isn't that the second time Schmidt tried to kiss her on the first season, right? On 29. Or the story of the 50. Yeah, when they had the birthday party. Yeah. They tried. I feel like Schmidt was trying to get it in with Jess this whole time.
Sorry, but you were a consolation prize. When we do the reunion. Yes. The world is a disaster. Okay, so Winston goes on a mission to find a condom. You got any funny condom stories that you can share? I don't have any funny condom stories. Because you don't wear them, Hannah. Yeah. She's like, what is that? You know, a little bit. I feel like you have funny condom stories. Yeah, I have a child. So, how do you think she got here? You know what I'm saying? Who put condoms?
Let's see. Funny condom stories. I don't know if I have any funny condom stories because honestly, safe sex is a real thing and it's a non-laughing matter. So if you are out there, you or anyone you know are struggling to find a condom, please, there are resources in whatever city you're in that'll help you find protection. Preach Pastor Morris. The more you know.
Or you can just throw some hand sanitizer on that thing. Or a baseball hat. What were the suggestions he made? He made some wild suggestions. Just a desk for a minute. Wrap it in saran wrap. The woman meets him and they're like, no. The plastic bag. A plastic bag. I had a friend of mine told me when he lost his virginity, he was so dumb, he didn't have a condom, so he put on a grocery bag.
How? What? That's what he said. And he had sex. And the girl's like, is this going to protect me? He was like, yeah. Why? This is why. This is why sex ed needs to exist in the school system. What? How? Serve?
sex education is real y'all we gotta keep that back get that back in the schools they take that out the schools I don't know but it feels like there should be more of it
Well, folks, that was a great show. Thank you for listening. Parking spot. Parking spot. Yes, indeed. Please follow us on Instagram, The Mess Around Pod. Yeah. You know, go out there and get some merch. You know, get a coffee mug. Some cute merch. Yeah, get a coffee mug. It's very cozy, this sweater. I feel like I'm wearing like a little blankie. It's all cozy inside. I just had an idea. What? Because I'm a genius. It just went off in my head. What? The Mess Around Condoms.
Boom. Boom. Somebody call Trojan. Call who you got to call. Oh, that's going to be so dope. I cannot right now. It's going to be so dope. The mess around condom. I mean, I feel like if somebody pulled out a condom and it said the word mess around on it, I'd be like, I don't feel like this should be the most trusted situation. No, they're not going to work.
Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be very porous condoms. You want a baby? Buy our condoms. Yeah. It's going to look like Swiss cheese. You love children? I got a present for you. Swiss cheese condoms. No, no, no. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. We're going to work on the branding. Let's make that happen. If you're a condom manufacturer out there, listen, this is a big podcast, man. You know. Go ahead and help us out here. We're going to see you next week. 10...
And it will not be about modesty underpants or tin made condoms. Which you can buy at our merch site right now. The Mess Around Condoms. We got lambskin, sheepskin, nose skin. You know what I'm saying? That's a good idea.
That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So we're going to catch you next time.
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