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Life is happening around us. So many things to do, places to go. If you switch off, you're out of it. But if you switch on, you're part of it. Subscribe to The Washington Post today at WashingtonPost.com slash iHeart. Switch on The Washington Post. Babe. Yeah, babe? Guess who we got today. A piece of trash, I'm assuming. Yeah.
AKA the one and only, our beloved... Jakes Johnson. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. All right, Pepperwood, let's go. I mean, that's what I'm saying. I don't know what's happening. I want everybody to gather around now. Gather around. I like that. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Mess around. You know what's so funny? I asked Jake.
I said, hey man, watch Pepperwood. Jake sends me a video. He knows it's a rewatch podcast. This is supposed to be personal text. I wouldn't have said that to you. You would have lied. I would have gone like this. Of course. Thank you for having me, Hannah. Jake goes, Jake sends me a video. Homework.
He's like, I'm from Chicago. I know. I am. I was like, all right. This morning he texts me. Hey, are we doing like a, are we recapping an actual episode? Yeah. Pepperwood. He goes, Oh, I thought you meant like we were, we're, we're reviewing Pepperwood. The character. All right. He's pepper. What do you want me to say?
Like I'm dressing character. I got a Chicago sweatshirt. We're good. Got it at Walgreens in old town. Is that what you got? Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty, that's pretty good. I guess the question is, did you rewatch? I did. I did. Oh, okay. I watched it, uh, uh, about an hour ago. First time I'd seen new girl since season six. By the end, I have not revisited, uh,
I like clips online where people send, but I haven't gone back and watched it. - So you never watched season seven? - I did not watch the ending of it. - If you'd watched season seven, I think you'd have more respect for my abilities. - Shut up.
I was there with you. I didn't respect it in person, son. I was killing it. You were not killing it. Because I know the way they edit, and so it looked like I was bad on camera. If it was a play, the people would walk out. Those editors saved your ass. Well, that's why you don't respect me. You didn't see the magic happen. Right. Just in that one season. Although this episode with Pepperwood, what was it? 14?
- Yeah. - It was a wild episode. - It's a wild episode. - It's a wild episode. You're really funny in it. You got some good bits in there. A lot of episodes you didn't have a lot of bits. - This is a fact. - But like you just have stuff where you're there. You're in emotional scenes, you're setting up a bit. But I was like, oh, this one you had bits. Your whole bit of like, what's my role in the loft? Trying to find it's funny. The baby voice is funny. I was like, you had a good bits. Your whole thing I guess is your fucking dick is swinging around and touching people.
I forgot about that. I was like, the way this episode starts is that your boner touches me. Winston apparently just gets boners all the time. Doesn't realize it and touches us all with his boner and once touched pizza. Yes, but big ones. So we're establishing, this is what confused me about it. I remember reading it and kind of going like, I don't get it.
I don't get it. And then shooting it, I was still in my mind going like, there is no way they're talking about my dick swinging around. Totally. Because I just had, you see my underwear. You run out of the scene and you don't see anything. I'm not hard at all. Or no, your character is. He's just not big at all. How did I knock over pizza? You didn't knock over, you bumped into it. No, I knocked over pizza. Nobody says the pogo stick is big. It is. It is.
He's just saying it's a stick. Because when you go in the hood, they go, whoa, and they back up like this. Well, guess what? If I had a toothpick in my pocket and I poked it, you would go, oh. Like a little thumb can be annoying. It's too much. Too much thumb. No, no, no. I know what they're saying. What? It's a huge dick. No.
That's what you're hoping. That's your fan fiction. That's just what the fans gather. That's based off that episode aired. Your boy got it in. A lot of inquiring minds out there. We literally talked about your mom and everyone at the church is listening. You just said your boy got it in. Yeah, but that's how the Bible says be fruitful and multiply. I'm just trying to tell you how we get it in. People were running in the other direction, Lamar. That was a wild storyline. But you know what's weird is that in my mind...
I thought this whole time, all these years, that the pogo was that, accidental boners. But it's not. It's the thing that your friends talk about when you leave the room. I've never known that. And so in my mind, I've always just been like, oh, oh, pogo. Who wrote that episode? That was Nick Adams and Rebecca Edelman. Fun. Yeah. Both really funny people. And then obviously with everything in that show, it's all like the whole, everybody would pitch in, but who directed it? Lynn Shelton. Ah.
Ah, what a sad turn of events. Yeah. Yeah. That's sad to hear. I know. I was really excited to watch it because everybody loves this episode so much. When her name came up as the director, man, my heart just went out because we all loved her so, so deeply. She was great. And she crushed this episode. Yeah. Let's dive into it really quick. After reading a disturbing piece of fiction from one of Jessica's students, Nick goes undercover as...
Julius Pepperwood to investigate the author who thinks he's a killer. Meanwhile, Schmidt and Winston discover that we just fucking talked about it. Pogo's and how huge Winston's penis is. You're at it. Turns off lights. Turns off lights. Do you guys do something on this where you cut the lines?
So the whole podcast is going to be her talking, me a little, and him not at all. Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake, understand something. You in my house. I'm in Hannah's house. Oh, look at the chair. Look at the chair. Look at the chair. You're a shit dude. No, you've been separated. This is a podcast right here. You've been separated for this moment. You better be careful with who you're talking about. You didn't demand you. No, I chose this situation. Okay.
And we're back with another episode of the morning after with Hannah and Jake. And two blocks away is Kyle's ass. Kyle, they killed you, son. Okay, so let's just go through it in order. But before we do that, let us go to break and we'll be back.
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And we are back. We're here with a real piece of shit. Real piece of shit, Jake Johnson. Real piece of shit, Jake Johnson. God damn, he doesn't look that. What are you talking about? He's weird looking now. He's method. He's in method. Guys, I'm going after Oscars. Oscar Michael.
That's the only house because you're holding big ones according to this episode. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. Where were we? Let us dive right in. These sweet fans listening being like, just tell us something about Julius Pepperwood. Julius Pepperwood is based off the name of the football player from the Barrett.
Julius Peppers. That's really where it came from. I had no idea. That's obviously a you thing. I think that was them giving a, because I'm obviously a big Bears fan. So when they did the Chicago thing, they did that as like at the table read was, you know, like, hey, look at that guy. So that's where Nick got it from as a Bears fan. Julius Peppers. It was then Julius Pepperwood. What about the Julius? His first name was Julius. Oh. The football player. Yeah. I mean,
I didn't realize I was on a show called Brainiacs. But what about the bears? I kind of am chewing you out. Once the word hog comes out, my brain shuts down for like three minutes of survival. It's a new girl technique I learned on set. Bad.
I'm back. So Jess declares she's made a breakthrough with a student. Nick tells her you can't teach people how to write. Writers don't read. They write. Great line. It's a great line. So funny. I'm dog shit at writing. You know, I don't read either.
It's just, I think it's one of those, no girl writers, everyone's going to hit perfect lines. You'd be at the table reading and you're like, all right, what's this with the Pogos? And then you'd go, get that line right there. A writer saying that writers don't read.
Right? You're like, what stupid logic. Excellence. You're right. And it is stupid logic because right after that, we discover the Pogos and the loft. Now, that's a real thing I'm imagining for people. Not for me. No one talks behind my back. But for you guys, do you guys... Those days on set, we all Pogo'd you constantly. No, I don't believe that one bit because I feel like you guys love me. I just feel like it's also like
Normal behavior, normal human behavior. It's so funny that they came up with like this thing, this term for it. But it was really funny to do. It's like a perfect new girl vehicle to then get Schmidt freaking out. The eyebrows is a great. I mean, that is a perfect new girl bit when he walks with his eyebrows. And then your character just goes like, yeah, that was funny in the bathroom. Yeah.
we know about it my mom had a pogo when we were growing up and she found out about it years later and wasn't very happy about it so my mom used to she used to threaten
to beat us. She never did, but she would always threaten us like, ooh, I'm gonna, ooh, I'm gonna. Yeah, but she would never do it. And so. But the fear is enough. The fear is enough. And so I used to call her Steven Seagal because she thought she was above the law. And we used to do it so much. Good stuff. It wasn't two years. Calling your mom Seagal is good. It wasn't two years later when she was like, uh-huh.
or hey you call me steven seagal i was like what what he's like above the law i will say the funny thing about mothers is to this day there aren't that many people who truly scare me if my mom came in here at
79 years old right now and said, "Shit up straight." I would be afraid of Steven Seagal. I'd be like, "That woman is above the law. "She wants to, she will kill me in this place "and none of these people will help." - 100%. - I mean, the scariest moms though, I feel like it's a look and a tone. - Yeah.
Again, they can be across a room and it's a look and a tone way scarier than someone coming up and just giving you a slap. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about this student. Nick reads, what did you say? The actor. Yeah, what was his name? Cordray.
Nick Cordray. So funny. Yeah, yeah. No relation to Rod. I might be saying that. Yeah, it's his brother. I know. Sorry. You asked what his name was. I'm like, that's a serious actor. He's a funny dude, man. Really funny dude. Nick reads a disturbing piece of writing that one of Jessica's students handed in and is convinced her student is a murderer. Now, that's typical.
new girl fashion as well. It's like, oh, let's just go so deep into it. Like he reads some writing and he's like, let's go investigate and do a thing.
I mean, I thought it was really funny because I feel like every woman deep down just thinks that most men are going to murder them. And the fact that she would read that and not be able to put it together herself and be scared, I thought was a very sweet moment for like Zoe's character to be like, I'm sure it's fine. And it was a very Nick thing to be like, are you an idiot? This man definitely wants to hurt you. It was really funny in that episode.
- It was so funny. - Watching it again, I was like, man, I gotta say everybody had really solid bits. - Yeah. - I was like, she was scoring, you were scoring in that one, you were scoring, Schmidt was, I was like, this is funny. - It's a great episode. - And then the turn, the fact that at the end it's not, I was like, this show's ridiculous.
He's disgusting in a different way. I was like, this show's ridiculous. I forgot. Because I forgot about it. Me too. Because I was like, there's something that's very weird. And then the whole time you're going like, well, then what's in the duffel bag, man? I still want to know what's in the bag. I forgot about that whole storyline. I forgot that that whole thing is what started the books. Right.
The fact that Nick became a writer for years, I was like, oh, it did all start in her writing class. Yeah. Yeah. And motivated to protect her, which is also like a sweet character thing too. Did you workshop this character at all? Because obviously now in TV history... You know how I do homework. You don't. You just improvise everything. Yeah. It depends on the job, but on a show like New Girl where...
It's all of us doing bits and I know we're going to improvise. There are other jobs, you know, you get two takes. And even if it's starting to go, they're just happy with the two takes. So on those, you better do your homework. The beauty of New Girl was even if you crush it and you do your homework, you're doing 30 takes. So you can go in there and nail it. And, you know, the crew's laughing, the cast is all like, got it.
Doesn't matter. Let's keep going. There would be no homework because I always felt like rehearsal was the beginning, the first take, you're now started. And you remember Liz, sometimes you'd do scenes where she'd basically be like, now sing the lines. But right here, you're like, you never know, she might find something. So no, with that entire show, there was as little memorization. You needed to be memorized because everybody else was.
So what? You weren't memorized. Yes, I was. You were improvising in take one. Bullshit. Yes, you were. That is edit his lies. Edit his lies. That's not reality. We're not doing Curb. Take a cover. We're not doing Curb. We did a scripted show and I said the words. We did do a scripted show, but I will say when my character finally started working at the bar, it was somebody that taught me you can, the bar is the best. Yeah.
Because you can take all your sides. See, she's telling the truth. And lay them all out under the bar. I'm not saying I didn't have cheat sheets everywhere. That's why my character is going like this, leaning on something all the time. And he's thoughtful looking down. It's like, Jess. But no, we did not. We always said the lines. No, no, we said the lines. You just said memorize the lines. I've memorized the lines. We just talked about it.
- You talked about how you put your cheat sheets everywhere. - You don't need cheat sheets if you memorize, little boy. - Hold on, hold on. If the camera starts here, this is memorizing. - Introduction, babe.
Yeah, babe. Question mark. Hellos and a quick catch up. You know, we got five minutes for that. That's memorized. We're going to have to go discuss your understanding of what the word means. I'll tell you what turned it for me. And this is the truth because we were all that season one for me. I was shocked how, uh,
word perfect max was i was shocked at the level that zoe always was i wasn't sure i didn't have any lines you didn't have any lines yeah i was good well i didn't i didn't meet you until season three i was shocked how prepared they were and we would get a rewrite the night before and everybody was just it was like it was a play thank you besides you uh i know i know i was off book i
theater actor here not a theater professional not a problem yeah 100 no you want to go through my credit credit but then when the alt started and you would do the scene yeah and there was a 30 page book of alts yeah that i was like oh we're doing all of those too so then my memorizing this scene the night before
is the same as me memorizing these alts right now. So that, 'cause I won't do that on certain, like you cannot go to a certain job and have your shit out, but New Girl was a different animal. - Oh, 100%. - So you're like, all right, if we're gonna do alt and Liz loved improv so much, a lot of people fake love in improv 'cause they think it's cool to say to an actor, like open it up, but they don't use it. The fair thing about Liz
If the script was the funniest, if the alt was the funniest or the improv was the funniest, that's what she would use. So you're like, all right, it's fair. I noticed you went and bought that hoodie in Chicago. Yeah, years ago. Years ago. From Chicago, your accent is kind of there, but when you turn it on, it's one of the funniest things. In this, as soon as you sit in that classroom...
I was like, I wonder if he workshopped that. So you're saying you just immediately, that's where you go. I will say something funny about that scene is, and a lot, as we all know, such great stuff got cut out of that show that you just forget. What was hard about watching, the real reason why I don't revisit is the memories of Onset were so fun. Yeah. So many great bits. And then you watch and I'll be like,
The one stupid example is when we were all at the bar and that little kid Terrio came out. And we would just for no reason create Terrio moments. So you're doing the material and then somebody would go like, ooh. And it was a multi-art Terrio thing. They're like, you know, the editors or Liz or somebody or they never did like and it was all out. All out.
Cry laughing. Yeah. So you watch and you're like, oh, that's a weird cut. And I was like, oh yeah, there was like all that. Yeah. So when I sit down in this scene and I'm next to that old timer,
and we look at each other, I guarantee there was like a 10 minute scene between me and that guy. It was too long. But anytime you see my character, I used to always ask for like the wildest looking background to be next to me. So if I'm in a two shot, don't give me some like 35 year old actor who's like, I'm just for my SAG card. Oh,
give me the wildest looking, craziest person, keep it in a two so that when you're saying your lines to Zoe, you can go like, yeah, what do you think my man? And then because they're not allowed to talk, they then, if they talk, it's a credit issue. So the ADs, Rizzoli would always say, don't talk to him, man. So I'd go like, what do you think? And they would go like,
Pretend this is real life. That's incredible. Somebody responds that way. Speaking of that, I'm not sure if you remember this because you don't rewatch, but there was an episode we covered, Table 34. I was just going to say it's so funny because I caught this moment even in this episode when you go and sit next to Edgar, just because I know you so well. You sat down and you said something like, you're okay, my man. And I was like, that was not written down. I just know you sitting down into the scene and you were in your accent and
And then it reminded me of table 34 when you guys have to jump on the duct taped table that you had to build, which is like the Indian speed. And you just grabbed this background actor and hold them up. And you went, this is happening. This is real. And he's so scared. And you pull him up and you start to jump and he falls.
falls off and you're like, you're okay. And it's just Jake. And then it's like, the character has left the building and you're just having the best time. And the guy can't say anything, but he's silently pleading for help. He's like, can I just get out of here? - No, these fools love being on camera. - And he was falling off the thing and you've got him. You're like, I got you. - I will say this, every time I've ever pulled a background guy on the camera,
I've had family members of them write and be like, thank you very much. That meant a lot. Oh yeah. Remember the guy Sid? Yeah. If you remember, there was a guy at the bar who had a big beard and he was a background actor and he used to always take photos with everybody. Remember that? He had no lines. Okay. Every time we were at the bar, there was some guy and I requested him. I would say like, I got his name and I said to, I think it was the second AD who ran. I said like,
this dude right here needs to be every time we're at the bar and if we're doing a scene Sid needs to be either right in the middle and then the director would go like can we move that guy and have Max there and I was like well I would love Sid here and Sid would be here and a lot of it would get cut out but if I would go like
what are you doing? Or the beginning of a scene before like Max would enter with a monologue. And there's that moment of quiet. It would always be like, you would try to start a conversation where you'd be like, well, that's a really scary story, my man. Like his family, his like granddaughter, somebody reached out and was like, he passed. But they're like, that was really a highlight. We would watch them. You're like, it's fun, man. I remember actually you telling me that he passed away. That's what I was just going to say. I was like, yeah, he's not, I don't think he's with us anymore. He was actually the inspiration of my movie, uh,
the Biff Whiff character. Really? When my character goes around, I first looked for, I was like, I got a guy in mind. And then I was like, oh yeah, he had passed. But that kind of look and feeling, that bit in there, whenever you're in a two shot, I'm like, just give me somebody who's not going to react like an actor. Right. Who's not going to be talking for 30 minutes about their fake backstory. Yeah. You know, pros like you, where you're like...
- Thank you for saying so. That means a lot to me. - But those true characters for me, I'm like, man, they are just gold. - And that's so funny he says that. You hear him talking about it, how he just has the power.
calling AD, calling the director. Boom, I need my man in here. - This is the Rick Glassman thing where we're doing edits now? Every time you do that, it's quite a work. - A guy shits on Jake right now. - Right back on him. - But no, but he never, we don't have to harp on this. We don't have to harp on this. I don't, 'cause here's the thing. - 'Cause it's all gonna be cut. - No, it's not. 'Cause I don't wanna go past this 'cause I do wanna get back into this episode. - That's what it's about. - Because it was great, Pepperwood. But he don't call me to be in his shit at all.
You're a fool. But I want to get back into this episode. I don't know where we're at right now. I'm hurt by it too, so that's okay. You can harp on it. Yeah. Jacob. We used to love him.
This is your intervention right now. Your friends are sitting you down. Let us go to break. While we're on break, we're going to discuss with Jake why. Why? Why? Why? We'll be back.
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I think we talked, I think we got through this for the most part. You know what's funny is when I watched your movie, I genuinely had that thought. I was like, wow, Jake has a type. Yeah, for sure. When I saw that guy, and now you're saying that, it was like a connected thought for you too. Even when you mentioned him at the bar just now, I was thinking about your movie. Yeah, totally. That guy was so funny, and he never had a line. Yeah.
You, Tran. They're the best. They're just instincts are funnier. 100%. It's like you get anybody who's an actor, anyone who's an improviser, there's a way we all attack a joke where there's the same rhythm. Where they're like, yeah, you're good at it. But somebody who doesn't, the pauses they take, I'll be like, spectacular choice. Never in a
years would I have guessed you paused that long? Never seen it in my life. Truly, never seen it in my life.
It reminds me of some of those movies. Have you seen Run, Ronnie, Run? Yes, of course. So there's, he's, David Cross is escaping from the police and they get this eyewitness, this old lady, this old lady, she's outside and she's in her nightgown and she's disheveled and she's like, and you know, and I didn't, and I forgot to take my pills and I'm sitting here going like, she's not an actor. She's just in it right now. She's not an actor. I was like, that's way too genuine. Oh good. Hannah, I got a question for you. Yeah.
Please don't mess this up this week. That's not a question. That's a weird comment. I'm not done with the question. It's a two-parter. You know the whole theory behind...
There's a huge fan theory that in every single episode of New Girl, there is a bear reference, whether it's said, whether it's in a picture. Have you heard this theory? Heard of it. Yeah. Yeah. And so I had so much like sent to me through whatever DMs and fans and comments that I was like, there must be truth to it. And then Reddit, there's threads. And I was like, wow. Ask Liz. And she was like, maybe.
Maybe she's like, maybe not like super intentionally, but yeah, there is a lot. And so now in every episode, I'm on like a quest to find it. Where's the bear? And I found it. You did? Yes. Max says it. Max says I'm is watching the Bears game. Yeah. Chicago Bears. Yeah. Oh, that's a simple one. The simple one. I was so happy, by the way, that it was said and done because I've struggled a little this season. I don't really buy that. Now it doesn't count. It doesn't count. You got to see it.
No, you don't. You have to say it or see it. That's it. And Bret Baier's name in the credits doesn't count. Well, you can't count more than once.
Well, I'm just saying, I don't make the rules. Okay. I'm just like going along with what the fans have said. Oh my God. I'm on their side. Okay. Let's keep going. So you guys break into this shed, right? You don't remember a lot about filming this, but you, but it came back to you while you were. There's a lot of physical comedy. Like how much of it did you have to do? I did the tire. And then I remember, uh,
I think it was Jimmy Sharp at Stunts who said, we've got stunt people, and if you do it, there's no residuals passed around. Do you like doing it? And that was a big turn for me of like,
No, but I thought we had to. And that became the beginning of stunts. But it's that episode because he's like, we're here. But all of a sudden they fake everything. So the window they'd built low. Yeah. So there's nothing hard. Right. And then the falls, there's a huge pad. Yeah. So, but that was the episode because I did the beginning where there's a thing where you climb on the big tire you hang. And then I fall and you could see that it's me doing it. Yeah. And that was the one where I was thinking it was cool. Yeah.
And I didn't realize like, you're actually taking jobs away. You've already got your salary, you fucking goofball. What are you showing off? Don't you show off enough? You're on camera all day. Sure. Yeah, but some people do find it a weird bragging point. Well, it is. It's a macho thing. It's cool. That's what I was going to say. Did you do the mummy before or after this? After. And I did all my stunts, but you didn't have a choice. I know. You told me some of the stories and I was like, there is no way. I would have been, I would have had to been recast.
I would have had to. Cause I know, like I have a friend who was in Top Gun and he was like, dude, we had to really fly planes. And I was like, I would have been recast. Yeah. You would have done it. I mean, he makes you, it's, it's, they, he said something that was really smart where he said, do you really think we're going to get one of the stars of the movie hurt? Because if you're hurt, can I film the next day?
And so you're like, right. It's scary. You have to train a lot, but it is fun. Yeah. Uh, but that was the episode of Nougat after that, if they said, will you stand up and put a cup on the, uh,
In the cabinet, I'd go, do we have stunts? I mean, if I got to stand and go all the way there, stunts is here. He's wearing my plaid shirt. Edgar tells Jess he has based his character off of her and that she has to die. The main character has to die. Your thoughts? No.
I'm just reading the notes. I love the fact that there was like a fight over the safe word and that she uses apricot so much in her real life. She feels like it would be confusing and then it does actually become confusing because it makes you automatically think of you actually needed a safe word. Dragon slippers felt like it'd be a little obvious. You'd look completely out of your mind if you said it and you're locked in a room with a killer. We have a safe word.
My mom, we have, I can't say it on camera, but we have, no, I can't. That's a, it's a real safe. Since I was a child. Why would you need a safer with your mom? It's mostly a sex thing. No, it's not. It's like, Oh, if I call you. Yes, it is. In this show, they made it funny, but in real life, it's a sex thing, son.
No. You have it with your mom. No. Answer. You call your mom Steven Seagal because she's above the law. Don't you dare cross the line with me. I know your mother. I'm Zoomed with your mom. I like your mom. We're friends. I kill you. I'm not messing with your brother. I respect your brother. I know you're a trainer.
It was Lamorne making those mom jokes on me? No, it was Max Greenfield. It was. So we have, since I was a child, she's like, you're in trouble. You're grown now. You're not going to call your mom if you're in trouble at this point, right? No. So things have happened with my mom. Because my mom lives, you know, by herself. Right. And if there's weird delivery guys in the house or there's weird things, she calls. She stays on the phone.
And I'm like, I monitor from a distance. Or my brother will do the same thing. Because I don't know these motherfuckers in my mama's house. What are you going to do? What am I going to do? Get on a jet and fly over there? No, I got people. Jake, you know Jake. I know your people. Bunch of geeks from Waukegan. Jake, Jake. From Waukegan. What are they going to do? Her taxes? God damn, man. From Waukegan.
We got our locations shared. I like it. Listen, I need to know what's going on. You know what I'm saying? If that was my mom, I would be more nervous about the delivery guy. I'd be like, if that went down, she'd be like, shave for an apricot. And I'd be like, get out of there, sir! She's about to kill you. Get out! Get your beds and go! Okay.
I don't want to deal with the lawsuit. Get out. But it was sex stuff between what we thought was his, Edgar's mom. But it turns out it's Edgar's lady friend, girlfriend, wife. I don't know. It's a large age gap in their loving union. And they have a duffel bag filled with.
Do we know what's in there? Never explained it. It seems like it's sex stuff. That's a lot of sex stuff. But also there's not any explanation over like a lot of pictures of Jess. Agreed. Like a lot of creepy pictures. It feels like they kind of like, he just got like a pass. I was like, I'd still watch you, man. That's what I miss about old TV as opposed to new streaming comedy. Where new streaming will be like eight episodes and everything connects and everything is so thought out. And then you're like, it's great. It's really smart. Win all the awards. Mm-hmm.
When you watch New Girl, there are things I'm like, the tone is really weird. This doesn't fully check out. Winston has a boner and he's bumping into us and we allow it? And then you also go like, who can, Max shaves his eyebrows, guess what? Next episode, they're back. It's like, who cares? It's funny. There was a theory that's been going around online that he wasn't actually erect. Is that Winston just has wild flaccid. That's a lie. He's trying to create something funny.
I'm just saying, I don't go on these blog, what do you call them? Reddits? Yeah, okay. All right. I don't post from Lamar Morris. He has a big hog. I don't have the login. I don't have the password for those things. Kyle, what's the login?
So we are towards the end of this episode. Yeah, I just, something I remembered watching this episode was about the pogo. Was I remember you and I walking back to our trailer, we were talking about how everyone has a pogo or whatever. And you said that the everything,
that every, like no matter what weird thing, someone throwing up some whatever will turn someone on. It turned into that conversation and you and I getting into a raging debate. And I was like, no, there's certain things in the world that would not turn someone on and not get a guy turned on. And you're like, no. - I think you're gonna lose that debate, Hannah. - That's what he said. He was like, you're so naive. No, even the weirdest, darkest, strangest thing that you think would be revolting to everybody, there's one dude. - Well, way more than one dude. Have you seen the internet?
Google anything. Anything. I don't want to Google. Think of the weirdest, grossest thing you could ever think of? Yeah. It's in your search history. Sure. I'll show it to you. Take Jake's computer. Honey, I'm doing research. I'm writing a play about this. I remember there was a huge, huge debate, but that's where the baby voice came from. Really? And I was like, what if somebody
And you had that reaction. And that's how it made it in the show. He was like, it's so gross when she does it. And he was like, nobody would be turned on by that voice. It's so gross. And that's how like, that was the one thing. You do know there's a big turnout of like adults wearing diapers and literally filling them. Yes. Filling them. This is a real thing. Yeah. This is a very real thing. You're talking about a baby voice on like,
Well, his reaction just made it seem like it was like this one thing. It's full on people wearing dirty diapers and getting off. And she's like, I'm super hot and I use kind of a baby voice. And guys are going to be like, oh, no way. That's gross. Put on two girls, one cup. That'll do it for me. And then after they're like, there was a lot discussing about her literally eating poo. But in the same sense, it was a super turn on. But no, Hannah, you saying a baby voice. I'll never find a man on planet Earth that likes that.
Well, when I did it to you, I was like, what the? And you were just like, it was like nails on a chalkboard to you. And that's what I brought back to the show. Cause they were like, well, what could we do to have beer pogo? And I was like, well, Lamorne finds this revolting. And I remember Liz being like, that's kind of weird. Maybe it'll work. And I was like,
And I was like, maybe it works for Liz. I remember watching this going, tomorrow we got to recap this. I hope Hannah doesn't do this. And right at the end, here you go. But it came from you. It came from this big debate. And you were basically saying what Jake's saying. It was like, do you not know what's happening?
out there? And I was like, no, I guess I've kept that part of myself away from the internet. Essentially what Hannah's saying to the people out there, the millions and millions of fans, is that I have inspired a culture. I have inspired a movement. I have inspired all the actors on this show. They're not going to cut it out. I control the editing. I'm the one, I'm editing. No, you're not. I like how your hands just went up like...
Like you know what you're doing. You're playing a piano. What I do wish comedically after watching that episode is they pushed CeCe Moore in the wanting to be included in. Because the idea of every time she pushes and everybody just goes like, that's a lot of things. That could have been like that. Whoever, whatever writer came up with that bit. It's such a great way to kill somebody. We could have hit that bit for a year of like everything she wants to do of like,
all of us eating spaghetti again. It's like, we don't, that's not a thing. Yeah. A person who like really wants to be in the old group of friends and you're like, it's different. You're in, we like you, but this is an old group of things. You're here, you're on the poster, but in the loft, it's weird. Well, it's a weird thing was also like never said. And yeah, it's weird that they didn't continue going with it because it felt like it was also like a known thing. Like here she's here again. But you don't like live here. You're not in this vibe of the thing. Exactly.
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Constantly making trips to Home Depot?
And we are back from break. There's a reason he's the best.
It's a segway. It's a segway, man. Nobody in the world would have saw that. No, no. I have to sit here because he's the only one who can segway. Remember the thing I was saying about you work with people who have like different brains? Anytime, my man. And we go to break. I got to let them know what time it is. Exactly. Because if we just go to break, then they're going to be confused. Okay. I want to give them time to go to the bathroom. Why are we hearing about Zop Talk? I thought we were talking about the episode. Okay.
All right, we are back. Hannah, what time is it? It's that time? You're doing a bad job, man. Hannah, will you sit in that seat? Let him just respond. If it's the one thing I've learned about new girls, sit in the light work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smart, smart. You get it. You're smart. I'm not the one getting killed today. You're smart. You think I want to be hosting this right now?
Yeah, you're smart. You're smart. I feel like we're on a team. Yeah, we are. It's working out for me. It's working out. Okay, let me read this. Also, go to break. Two minutes in, you went again. Welcome back. Yeah, we have to. We have to. We have to go to break, Jake. Good. You should know that. You have a podcast, Jake. No commercials. And you go to break. No. You don't go to commercial?
I know how much money you make. My man. I want to say I planted a tiny seed, a tiny seed with Jake about podcasts. You did. And it's worked out. You did. Also the first podcast I've ever done. That's not our own. Oh, by the way, I can't, uh, I meant to text you.
- You should be honestly doing other podcasts. The response has been really strong to yours. I'm not kidding. But when you left and said it was the first one you did, you should go do like the whole run. We've all done it. Lamar knows the whole, there's like 15 you just do. They get great numbers, great hosts, it's fun bits. You should do the whole push. All right?
hanging out with you guys. Let's go back to break. I know, I changed when I was hanging out with you guys. I love the idea. I think because I grew up listening to so much talk radio. I love the idea of having a caller and it's live and you don't know what's going on. I love the whole idea of your podcast and I got to kick it with you. That's why I came. But the idea of doing a circuit of podcasts just
- Well that's what I was always a no to them. Even when I used to do press, I was no, the big turn for me lately is that's actually you're getting for my movie. I did more podcasts than I did traditional press because I'm like, well, these are actually the people who want to watch the stuff. It's a bigger market and you're advertising something kid. I mean, I know we got the new girl IP, but you gotta beat the drum. God damn.
Who's producing these two? This is why, by the way. I don't want to do advertisement. Back to break. Why do you think I go to break so much? You're a low-key manager. You're a low-key manager. You just sat there on the couch. You're like, listen. Yeah. You're messing it up. I really love driving to Studio City to talk to somebody I don't know for three hours. What the fuck is going on here? What the fuck?
She doesn't want to. She don't. And we're going to break. And we are back. Hannah, when I was asking you what time it was, I was trying to set you up. It's time for the mess around. The segment you wanted to do. That was my mess around. This was your segment. The mess around. Okay. Here's the topic. Tell me. You ever do anything weird for a roommate?
Don't answer. You're married now. That shit was personal. That rant's late, huh? That shit's what you did to survive.
You did what you did and it's all over. We're still with you. We're family even if you're guilty. We're family even if you're guilty. Did you live with roommates ever? Yeah. Really? Of course he did. Look at him. I live with them now. My wife and my kids. They're just roommates. That's all I see my kids is roommates who don't pay for anything. I would sit on the couch and they'll go, you grabbed me something to drink and I'm like, I'm a waiter? Is that what you paid for it?
I didn't do anything weird for a roommate, but I had a roommate who was extremely weird, and I would go out of my way to avoid some of his weird shit. Well, he's always lived alone. No, there's this guy. He created another character. There's this guy who's a ninja. Ha ha ha!
I feel like I've told you the story before. Please go on. There was a guy who was a Jamaican, dreadheaded ninja, vegan, vegan guy. He cooked with all the weirdest spices. Wow, so many details. So that house smelled odd. It was very bad. I was broke. So God rest his soul, Chad Bozeman. God rest his soul? Chad Bozeman. Oh, I thought you meant this ninja guy. No. That's just like a term. I was like, you killed me?
That smells weird. I didn't say he was a good ninja. Cut this out, man. I didn't say he was a good ninja. He's fast. I caught him slipping. He was a ninja, but I was a samurai. Exactly. I was a shogun. No, but Chad, he knew that I was struggling. And he was like, I have a guy who's moving to L.A. You should let him live with you. I said, okay, cool. No problem. You know, Chad, he was a martial artist. And a lot of his friends were also martial artists. But Chad wasn't extreme. His friends were.
This guy comes in my place and he has this sword that he kept in the living room. And he had rules for me when he moved into my place. One of his rules were this sword contains energy and power and you do not know the power in which it contains. So please leave it where it is. I've done that same thing in bars. It works. This sword contains power that you as a mere lady mortal could not understand.
It is powerful. But the power runs out very fast. You gotta get in when you can. Very quickly. Experience that power initially. But be so proud of the good experiences. Don't talk about the length. Just remember the power. When describing this story to your friends. Like, honestly, please...
Don't say how fast this sword is. Like, that would really embarrass me and we are in the same group of friends. All you need to know, sword, powerful. That's it. No, but one day a buddy comes over and he's like, what's that? And I was like, no, no, no. Don't.
Don't touch it and he was like what he picks it up. I was like, all right, he puts it back down meanwhile an hour later Somebody's of mine we're outside and he comes storming outside in his boxers Barefoot ninja. Yes the ninja and no shirt He was pissed and he goes did you touch my sword? And I was like no because I know I didn't but I know it was touched and he goes oh
Did you touch my sword? And I was like, no, I didn't. He goes, I told you, you do not know the power in which it contains. And he's screaming at the top of his lungs in front of, I'm not joking, 20 people. And then he storms off and goes back inside.
And I tried to avoid it, but it happened. How much longer did you live with this man? Probably another couple months after that. That's wild. I was struggling. I needed the help. That's walking on eggshells, though, forever now. Oh, yeah. You lost all the power. I got really passive aggressive with this guy. Yeah. Because I would walk. You can smell it down the hallway, the spices.
And I'd be like, I'd get into my apartment like, God damn it, I'm about to, I gotta go out tonight. I'm about to go out smelling like garlic. You know what I'm saying? And couscous, you know? Anyway.
And we're back. Back to ads. Honestly, I can't even tell you my weird roommate thing now because it doesn't. Again, this is like a weird. No, it's a weird flashback to when we basically shared a trailer for whatever. And he'd be like, I'd be like, how's your night? And he would tell like a crazy ass story like that would happen last night. And I was always like ready to be like, I had a crazy night too.
And then he'd be like, well, don't tell me what it was. And I was like, well, I did like a whole puzzle. Stand up to 1145. That's right. We had like two glasses of wine. And now this is the version of this. My weird roommate. I can't tell it now. It's so boring. They were boring. I'm not gonna lie to you. I know. But I'd been out drinking with you and you'd rage. Yeah. Yeah.
But never had those stories if I wasn't around. Yeah, but they don't have a weird turn in the night where all of a sudden I'm at some weird person's apartment and crazy weird stuff happens. Like, that's it. I could just like go out and hang. That's what I could do. JQ. I was that ninja. Put my info on the streets and I don't appreciate that. You know what you did, son. My bad. You know what you did. My bad. You acting like you Jamaican. And I apologize to everybody here about the smell.
I guess that's on me. Is it crazy to think you've probably crossed paths with a murderer? What are these questions? They're based on the episode. Oh, like me in real life? In real life. Do you think you've ever... Of course. I walked from sunset to here. I only passed four murders. We live in L.A.,
Every ninth person on the UC is a murderer. I know I've crossed paths with murderers. Really? I mean, I got family that's locked up. I've been at picnics with these dudes. I am wild. It's funny when you can, I remember being like that. I've been to church with these dudes. Your mother is going to hear this. I'm just saying. They got caught. So it ain't like I'm snitching. They got caught. I'm not saying no names.
You know you did it. You know they got internet in jail now. I know, but they don't know that, you know what I'm saying? Your guys watching this. It's a few of them, so I'm saying they're watching together. If you're feeling guilty, you know who you are. Cut all this for his safety. I know, for his safety. For everyone's safety. You literally have him go, I got peep cut too. I had two glasses of wine and did a puzzle. Or you hear that over his dog.
Okay, last question. Would you ever write a book or a comic? Have you? I feel like, for some reason, I feel like you've written a book. No, I started writing plays as I started in movies. Have you ever done a memoir or one of those? Are we going to have the Hannah Simone book? I would never be. I'm the most private person on planet Earth. I would never write a memoir, but I would like to write. I would think so. My dad has such an interesting story because when he... Must be nice.
Agreed. Rubbing it in our faces like we're a couple of bastards. Oh, my dad. Okay, all right. A couple of orphans over here. Why don't you call them? Yeah. That'd be cool if I could. Could you go more? No. I don't know the number to heaven. Y'all got to make me legit cry. I can't even go in on a bet because it'll make me too stoned. Don't make me pretend it'll make me stoned.
Nah, that's cool. I'm happy for you. Yeah. Sorry for your loss. All right, let's go to break. People are going to be like, man, that Jake episode, Hannah didn't say anything. She just sounded sad and quiet. She didn't have any weird stories. She couldn't talk about her dad. It's over. What was it like when he was raising you? Okay. It's pretty good. Did you ever toss the ball around? He tell you good job and shit? How'd that make you feel? You must know how to play catch. Did that give you like a confidence that like you just always have until you die? Oh my God.
Is it like weird for you as you get older because you're like just making it up? Or do you like just know what to do and stuff? How do you tie a tie? Do you just naturally know how to like change oil and stuff? Or is that like a learned skill?
- So go on, go on. - I won't forget it now. - Go on, go on. - No, it's okay, it's okay. - Oh my God. - Please tell the story about the book. - When my dad went to university in India, when they graduated, they pulled, there's a million people at this university, they pulled them all onto these like fields and you could choose to be a doctor or an engineer. That's it, those are your options in life. He was in a fight with his brother. His brother went over to the doctor's side. So my dad went,
went over to the engineer side, spent his whole life working as an engineer. But what I didn't know is he really, really, really, really just wanted to write. And he felt like he had all these stories. He'd led this really incredible life and he really wanted to write. So when he retired, and he's an incredibly intelligent man, he's got five degrees, he's super smart. He's so interesting. And he is, the moment he retired, he just started writing. And he now has written and published, I want to say like 40 books.
No. And he's written like, you know, he's done deep research and done like in ancient histories and ancient civilizations. And he's written like murder mysteries and he's written like comedic short stories. And he's written his memoirs, which is the first time I learned all my family history.
I mean, he's just such a prolific writer and it was just like within him. I can't like the idea to sit down and try to write one book in my lifetime would be an incredible accomplishment. But my dad has now like a whole like library of books. He's written all these books. Yeah. So he's just as absentee as my dad was. When he
Retired. That man was not paying attention to you. It's a different way of doing it. Men will find any way not to raise their kids. I would love to raise you. I got to write 65,000 books. What do you want me to do? I got to get paid. I got to write a comedic thriller. I got to write a romantic comedy. I got to study regions.
I have a soccer game at four. I'm sorry to tell you all, he was a real good daddy. He was a wonderful dad. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Jake, the fans I've written in and they are thrilled. What's the fan's name? The fan? I just know her name is Rosie from Den of Geek and IGN. And she. Yeah.
Yeah, dumb dumb. I literally was not making a joke. I thought it was Jocelyn. I was going to kill you. I'm not good with names. So Rosie from Den of Geek and Den of Geeks and IGN. Den of a Geek. Den of Geek is a different publication. Yes. Pass. Writing from one geek's den. Oh, that's stinky. I was going to say, you got to get out of that room, ladies. Oh.
Well, she has a question that's been on all of our minds and hearts, and it is, Jake Johnson, what's it like creating a new romantic archetype? You kind of have had your hand in that development, I'd say. Hmm.
Explain what you mean by that. Well, you're not attractive. Ugly. You are a slob. Short. Mean. Yes. Grumpy. Hadn't shaved a day in his life. Not a weird smell about it. And for the first season of that show, you had a bowl haircut that I had to tell you to fix. Well, you were the guy...
I didn't go through hair and makeup a lot. So every once in a while, Lamorne would go like, I mean this as a friend, man. Your hair looks terrible. And you would go, you have to go back. And I'd be like, and say what? He says, you would say, it looks like you have a helmet. He goes like, it looks like, I'm telling you as a friend. Go back in there and say my hair looks like I have a weird helmet on. Yes.
Because this haircut now, the one you have now is very similar where it's low on the sides. Yeah. Kind of crazy on the top. That's what the fans love. Oh, because before it was. Before it was just the same length. That's exactly right. You had a white man's afro. That's awesome. I had your character in the flashbacks there. Yes. That's right. Yes. That's so funny. But the folks out there loved you romantically. What was that like?
Well, I think that goes to the writing would be my guess. And I don't know. I don't really know how to answer that question. But I think, you know, it's got to be Liz. You know, Liz put me in. I never had any interest in romantic comedies. I always liked going back to the type of characters I wanted to act next to. That was the kind of actor I wanted to be. I wanted to be in just comedies and do weird little Indies.
then she put me in No Strings Attached and I had a love interest in that, Greta Gerwig. And that was the beginning of me being like, there was a whole scene where they wanted me to like open her car door. And I was like, but what's the joke?
Why am I here? You paid me fair money. I'll do the bits. And that was the beginning of being like, oh, this is a whole different lane where you don't do bits. You just, the, the actress comes in and it's like, you look while everybody else does the bits. Right. And you're like, oh. And so when this show started and we talked about it a lot at the beginning, but,
But you and I didn't really know our roles on the show. And Zoe was very clear comedically. She knew what she was. We all knew what that show was. Max created Schmidt really fast. And the writers knew what that was. So it was very clear. And Max has said it on my podcast. We're here to help. Go to ad. Yeah.
But I get some of that one. You get a piece of it. You get a piece of it. Thank you. But he basically was saying he knew that he was somewhat of the Jim Parsons. So he was like, really blow it up. And at the beginning, I didn't know where Nick was going to live.
I was like, I don't know where it was. And then the writing just kept putting it to Nick and Jess, Nick and Jess. And so I went there and then slowly when you're in scenes and every one of your lines ends with a question mark or she'll come in and overalls and it'll just go like Nick looks. And I'm like, all right. So when I'm with the guys, I have to improvise. Yeah. Or I'm going to be here for seven years just going like.
You look great. And like, it's just not that fun of a part. So like having me and her, that thing, you're like, oh, it's really nice. But Pepperwood, it's clearly a season two Nick and Jess story. Season one early there. And I talked to Justin Long about it when he came in season one. But you're like, if you're playing that love interest, there's just not a lot of meat on the bone. Your job is to be in love with that person. And so that wasn't a natural fit. It's not why, you know, I started getting paid.
So my thought was, if I'm here and I don't have lines, I'm going to improv. I'm not going to shut up. So he is admitting right now that he did not know his lines. After I memorized my lines. After I said them all. After I said them all. All right, Jake. After I said them all. One of the great things, though, about this show is how they built those romantic moments in without always having to say it or speak to it. Yeah. Like when you're like, he's clearly,
trying to kill you at the beginning of the episode. Like, are you crazy? I'm going to, you know, I'm going to go there and I'm going to talk to the guy and whatever. And then they cut to Zoe and she just kind of gives like a little smile because it's pretty hot when a guy is like, I'm going to come, I'm going to protect you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. But they didn't give her any lines to it. It was just a look and you got to commit fully to this insane lane and go for it without making it being like,
Yeah, but you know that. So Liz's strength, in my opinion, is one, she's unthinkably funny. Her bits are crazy. But she's a really romantic person. And her writing, like, you did that a lot. So your role a lot of the times was Max would say something outlandish and crazy. Then your character's somehow in love with it. Right. That's right. And you've got to somehow, he's got crazy eyebrows, he has a monologue that...
Most women aren't in real life going to be like, wonderful. But by you doing that, that then tells the audience that his character is attractive. So it is like, you know, it's a partnership. So the writing made you. Hey man, the writing makes all of us.
You better kiss Jason Reitman's feet next time you see him if you win some awards for old Karen Ab. Kiss his feet, man. Listen, Jason, if I get nominated for an Oscar, Jake, I'll go with you. Fuck you. How about this? If you get nominated, don't bring some random lady, man. You and me in tuxedos. Let's go.
Say it now, man. Lock it in. I'm bringing my mama. Such a bad. Don't do that. Don't do that turn like it's sweet. It's not sweet. He's got bad intentions. My mama and my daughter. He's the guy on the red carpet who will just be, he's talking to women out there while he's going like, I love my mom so much. That's why I brought her. I want to be with you. Zoe Kravitz, if you listen, if you want to be my Oscar date, then what's up? Time to cheat, baby. Time to cheat. See what I'm saying? It went from mom to the real guy.
I'm going to bring my mother. Zoe Kravitz. No, I'm bipolar. I'm bipolar. I'm bipolar. I'm bipolar. We all are. We all are. Jake, it was a pleasure having you, my friend. Yeah, nice to see you again. Yeah, thank you for being here. Thank you all for listening. Please follow us on IG, The Mess Around Pod. So we have a big episode coming up to recap, to discuss, to dissect. Think you know which one I'm talking about? That's right.
cooler the one with the kiss that kiss uh lamorne and i are going to break it down recap it talk about all of the things that we know that happened behind the scenes on that episode and then we're going to call a special loft meeting on thursday and we want it to be all about you
The fans of New Girl were so rightfully so obsessed with the kiss. How did you react when you saw it? What did it mean to you? Did it set the bar in your own life for a kiss? We want to know it all. We want to know your stories. We want to know everything. We will air them on the show. We will discuss. We want you guys all to be a part of it. So please send us an email.
And let us know how the kiss impacted you so that you can be on the podcast and we can chit chat. Send us an email about the kiss or your experience or reaction or how it set the bar for all the kisses in your life. We look forward to hearing from you. Send us a voice memo so we can play it live. Or send us an email and we will read it out. Let's get into it. Send us an email at themessaroundpod at gmail.com.
That was The Mess Around. This has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Chevron. Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. We're going to catch you next time. Bye.
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