209: Eggs
46:04 Share

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

Okay, you say, I want some breakfast. Your so-called boyfriend says, we got eggs in the fridge. Obviously, when you say breakfast, you mean McDonald's. Definitely a side-eye situation. Bring home the bacon, steak patty, or others with a BOGO for $1 breakfast. Only in the app. Limited time only at participating McDonald's. Valid once a day. Must opt into rewards. Visit McDApp for details. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

Does money stress you out? Let Facet flip your financial chaos into clarity. We feel way more confident and secure in our finances. And with that comes a sense of freedom. Financial planning from Facet is here to help you improve your life today, tomorrow, and every day after that. Facet was really the place where we saw all of the tools and the people coming together. Visit facet.com.

FACET.com to learn more. This ad is sponsored by Facet. Facet Wealth is an SEC-registered investment advisor. This is not an offer to buy or sell securities, nor is it investment, legal, or tax advice. These testimonials are from current Facet members who are not compensated. All opinions are their own and not a guarantee of a similar outcome. For 25 years, Brightview Senior Living Associates have been committed to creating a vibrant culture and delivering exceptional services, making Brightview a great place to work and live. If you're looking for a rewarding opportunity to serve your local community and grow, we want you to join our team.

Brightview Senior Living is growing and actively seeking vibrant associates to join our community teams, including directors, health care, activities, hospitality, and dining. Apply today at careers.brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal employment opportunities. Text BVJOBS to 97211 to apply. Ring, ring, ring, ring. May I please speak with Zoe? Oh, hello, Lamorne. Let's patch in Hannah. God, I forgot what it was like working with you guys. Welcome to Brightview.

Welcome to our show.

All right, folks, what we're going to do now is take a quick deep dive into what this episode is all about. The episode is eggs. So listen up. Sadie and her wife, Melissa, they're at the law for an intimate dinner party with friends. Right. So unfortunately, Schmidt is trying to please his boss in the next room. I mean, we've all been there. Right. A little extra credit.

To try and tune him out, Jess breaks out the wine. That sweet, sweet $6 wine. It's then amongst Schmidt's narrated hookup that Sadie announces she's pregnant. Now, while Cece and Jess are happy for her, the more Sadie talks about getting pregnant after 30, the more Jess begins to wonder about her body's reproductive abilities. The problem.

She decides she needs to get tested. Cece is much more interested in living up to single life. The conversation reaches peak vaginal discussion. We've all been there. And Nick is forced to flee with Winston because they ain't trying to have it. Now at work, Winston is getting used to his adjusted schedule as he falls more in love with his job. Now seeing this, Nick begins to ponder his own career. He wonders if he should finish this damn zombie novel.

Winston's not sure Nick wants to finish it. And there's always something different, like Nick purposely breaking computers. So he gets it into his head that he should be more like Hemingway to become a better writer. He begins this transformation by seeking real life experiences at the zoo.

Now Schmidt's bedroom games have become a horrifying adventure as he realizes he can't bring his boss to climax, which is, I've been there. It's not about me. So what does he do? He recruits the lesbian gynecologist Virginia Sadie to make sure he is up to date on all the latest techniques. I wrote a book on one. I'm up to three techniques, but we're working our way up to seven.

After paying the copay, Schmidt meets with Sadie, who is hopped up on baby hormones. As Schmidt describes his routine, Sadie finds herself a bit, you know, a bit into it. A bit turned on. A bit amped up, if you will. Juiced up, she was by Schmidt's antics.

Now she dubs Schmidt a virginious, which we were all shocked by. Schmidt and Emma, they try again, but the sex is still a dud. Emma was seeking a fun experience post-marriage when it turns out she's not into hookups. She needs a connection. Schmidt describes sex with Cece as fun and connected. Emma tells him he's in love.

Finally, Schmidt's eyes are open. Now, Cece and Jess, they take the test. Jess's eggs are thriving, but Cece will need to begin trying to have babies immediately if she wants to have kids. Now she's overwhelmed with the decisions.

Jess says they should act like guys so they don't have to think about the eggs. Okay? They meet a very drunk Nick and an exhausted Winston at the zoo. Winston calls Nick out for procrastinating, telling him it's okay to be scared.

Cece meets with Robbie, who does want to have children. But in 10 years, I'm telling y'all folks, this episode was a lot to unpack because back at the apartment and sober, Nick decides to buckle down and finally finish this damn novel. Winston doesn't think the book is any good. In fact, he thinks it's dog shit. But he's proud of his friend for finishing the book.

Schmidt and Jess beg Winston to read the book out loud. And they all have a good laugh with their shoes on on Nick's bed, which I think is very, very disgusting. And that's what happened in episode 209. Eggs. Oh my gosh. Huge episode. Eggs, eggs, eggs. Eggs, eggs, eggs. Let me tell you a little something about Neil Brennan. This man is quite possibly one of the funniest genius individuals on planet Earth, man. And I love this dude. Um...

He was one of the creators of the Chappelle Show, just in case you all didn't know. And he once outed me for being connected to a lot of women on a dating app called Raya on a podcast once with Bobby Lee. So thank you. Did he really? Yeah. So I used to be a clip of him going, you know who's connected with every girl on Raya? It's like Lamorne Morris. I was like, what?

I didn't know that I was. So, you know, because I'm still single. Raya doesn't work, I guess. No, that's not. I also did. My memory of Neil Brennan was I don't know if it was this episode. Didn't he direct more than one? I think it was just this one. Oh, so my big memory about Neil Brennan was it was his birthday the week that he shot.

I don't know why, but I have this memory of him standing in the middle of the set and a huge cake being rolled out and everybody's singing and we all got to have a cake break. Best kind of break. Was all he was out celebrating his birthday because he was late one time too. Was he really? Yeah, I remember he was late. I think he was late for set one time. Oh, there you go. I was sitting around waiting for Neil. He's probably out celebrating his birthday. No, there you go. Connect the dots. Now we've figured it out. Hmm.

The other thing that's crazy is the Kay Cannon, you know, the iconic, legendary Kay Cannon. She came over from 30 Rock to do New Girl, and she pitched perfect. And, I mean, she's done so many incredible things. I forgot she was in this episode. So when the episode opens and she's playing June Diane Raphael's partner, I was like, wait, what? Yeah. I completely forgot that Kay...

put herself in the episode and was so funny. She was really, really funny. That scene at that table, very funny one. Very, very funny scene. All of that interaction. We could start with what was happening in that bedroom with Schmidt. Okay, here's a fact. I feel like this is a fact. Maybe not, because you might have a different opinion and then it becomes an opinion. But

Hearing other people have sex is always just weird and gross.

Yeah, unless you're watching one of those adult films, you know. That's a different thing than like hearing something. Like if you're like, I remember being in a hotel and you could just hear people through the wall. Oh. And you're like, please. I just get so cringy and I don't know what to do with myself. And I'm just like, I don't want to. Don't. Please stop. This happened to me recently. I was in Michigan and the walls in this hotel were thin.

And I'm telling you, this couple, they were going at it forever. And they would take breaks because I would then fall back asleep thinking to myself, okay, good. I got another, I don't know how long in between rounds. And I would get woken up again by the craziest of emotions. I'm talking. I recorded it, by the way. I'll send it.

I'll put it on my story later. Do not. I have to delete Instagram. I'll be too traumatized. Don't. Y'all know who y'all were. Y'all intense. Y'all do y'all thing.

Here's I'll tell you my weird stories. I lived in an apartment when I first moved to L.A. and there was a I'm going to use big air quotes around the word photographer who lived downstairs. I think it was a guy that was like on Craigslist telling girls that he did like give them like their headshots. You know what I mean? I was just trying to start a business.

That's right. But I think it was just him getting like girls to come over and then he would charm them. But he was kind of always creepy and a little bit weird. I think he had a mild anchor problem. Anyway, I managed to never be home when he had a successful photo shoot. And but I do remember one night I was and I could hear all sorts of sounds. But then I heard him.

when he was uh rounding home base thank you uh all i heard was him yell at the top of his lungs i remember this story i told you because i came to work the next day and i'm like i don't know what to do with what i know about this person now do i move because i'll never if i cross passes him i'm gonna die i heard him yell very clearly

He had no idea your neighbor was Flintstone. He was Flintstone. That's what happened. That was your neighbor, the barefoot wonder. The barefoot photographer. And you know what? Obviously, Hanna-Barbera had a huge impact on him as a child. And it's stuck in his head. And that's how he likes to celebrate a moment. So send us your completion stories. Send us your stories. Your catchphrases. Please do not. I'll have to delete the podcast.

Please send Hannah your catchphrases. Oh, no. I literally was like, I have to move. I can never look at you again. Yabba dabba doo. He seemed way less creepy after that, I'll tell you that. No, I was just like, oh, you look. Well, because he knew. He knew. But when he walked around, he probably knew people knew this about him now. So he became a little less, you know, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. So in this episode, there's another thing that I remember. If the folks at home are paying attention, Winston's used to having like some smooth fades. You know what I'm saying? He's edged up. He's lined up. In this episode, my haircut is dog shit. And I don't want to get into the details. There's probably articles out there about it.

But my hair, I didn't have a barber that week, let's just say. And that haircut, I remember, I want to say I even asked if I could put on a hat and I wasn't able to. But I was so insecure about this haircut, man. You know, I don't understand why I'm this way. But, you know, the way my hairline is set up, this haircut was just so bad.

You know what I wonder? I wonder if you and I are like the ying to each other's yang, because I literally have in my notes from last week's episode, parents, and from this week's episode, eggs. Holy shit. Incredible fucking hair. About myself. And so I just wonder what I'm having. Did you write holy shit?

I was like, holy shit. Here's the thing. I watched it and I was like, oh, I didn't even know my hair could look that good in history. This is the best hair of my life. My hair is living in these episodes. We've recapped now, I don't know, 30-something episodes. I've never once written anything down about my hair. That's how good it looks. You have never commented on your hair. You've been moved to talk about how terrible it looks and maybe it

It's like, you know, that Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis movie. Maybe the good and the evil. We can only I can only have good hair. Have you had a terrible, terrible, like the worst haircut of your life? I can only have the best hair of my life. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, well, fun fact, this this isn't the actual worst haircut that I've had on the show.

There was I had a haircut once. This is during the Mohawk days when my character had a Mohawk. And I remember we had a different barber that came in that day and he wasn't he wasn't used to. Well, he didn't look at the continuity photos. He was he was used to the way he had used to cut my hair from back in the day because he was an original barber on the show.

He had gone away. Then he'd come back. And I remember him. I had a mohawk. He was just so used to, I guess, having my hair be really low. Just first order of business. Took the clippers and just cut right down the middle and cut off my entire mohawk. I was like, what the? What are you doing? Oh, my God. And the look on his face was like, oh, I fucked up, huh? I did a bad thing.

Oh my God. That what ended up happening was we had to take that hair and glue it back on. I'm going to die. I have to lay down. I'm going to lay down. I'm not going to say what episode it's in, but you, here's the thing. You have to text me what episode, because I bet you my hair is a Pantene commercial. I bet you my hair. You can see it from the moon. How gorgeous it is. They only had the budget. I believe the theory though.

Every week, they're like, someone's gonna look like trash. Oh, my gosh, I need to know for myself what episode that is. That's crazy. Okay, we're diving into eggs. Now eggs is like, I remember, okay, let me tell you the little backstory I have on eggs. Because I think about this episode a lot, probably more than any other episodes.

Because, and now it makes sense because Kay was not only, you know, writing the episode, but she was in it. And I remember we were waiting in between scenes, sitting on the back of a golf cart outside of the stages. And we were talking about relationships and we're talking about having children and talking about how do you know when the one is the one and Kay had shared. Well,

That when she had looked into now, who's her current husband, she looked into his eyes. She could see like her children. She's like, I could just see my child's faces. I could see what they would look like. And I just knew, I knew he was the one. And I remember being like, wow. Oh, that was just felt really profound that she was just moved. Cause she had been in other relationships. We'd gone through all of our relationship history as girls sitting there talking. And she just, we were there. Calm down.

It lasted two minutes, the whole conversation. And then I remember being like, she was like, no, I was in love. But I could not see the face of my children when I would look into that man's face. And I remember going home. I was in a relationship at the time and looked at his face and I could not see my children. And I remember being like, ugh.

I have this information, which is really weird because I remember that message she kind of gave me, that information that, you know, and I didn't really remember this episode very well. And then I rewatched the episode and that's exactly what happens to Cece. She gets information she didn't ask for, she didn't want.

And I was messing with her life. She didn't want to know. She didn't have a lot of eggs. I didn't want to go out happy in my relationship. I didn't want to go home that day and look at my sweet boyfriend's face and be like, oh, no, no one. You think that's what did it?

I swear it was a really weird thing. And as a woman, I'm in my thirties, you've got a biological clock going. All that stuff is real. She wrote this episode from such an honest place. And I knew like, if I wanted to be a mother, I have to be in a relationship that's serious where I'm going to have to, you know, that's something I wanted to do. And now you got 47 kids. I have 47 children because of that great advice from Kate Cannon. Thanks. That,

it's stuck in my brain and i was like every kiss beacons with k every baby every break out all these kids i don't even know if she realizes that but because she just said well this is how i knew that he was the one and i just remember going home and i was like man these are like we're gonna your ex is pissed right now i can't canon

I'm so sorry if you hate Kate Gannon. Your ex is mad. Yeah, he doesn't know. I didn't come home and be like, can't see it. He doesn't know that that ever happened. No, he do now. Well, he does now. Yeah, I guess if he listens to this. Strange listening to your ex-girlfriend's podcast, but maybe, I don't know. But anyway, when I think of this episode, I always think of that moment. And I remember just in my personal life and then re-watching the episodes.

watching me have to live like play out that week of somebody who adds information that they never asked for and never wanted i was like when that art imitates life life imitates art stuff happens it always feels so trippy oh yeah oh absolutely um another thing that we realize in this episode is that you know with all his flaws and with all his um

Well, his many, many flaws. And, you know, throughout all the mistakes that he's made in this show, I was shocked to find out that Schmidt is actually a genius. That's such a great scene. It's such a great scene. I did not remember how that was going to go. And I was like, oh, you just think he's like not that great in bed or they're not a good match. And that scene between him and Carla where they...

have to figure out what isn't working, even though he's doing everything by the book that she wants. And he realizes that he was in love. And then as Nick corrects him, that he is in love. - Yes. - And it's one of the smartest dances of writing I've seen of how they get to the place in story to show you that Schmidt loves Cece. - Right.

I just thought it was so smart. And the way June plays this scene of when he talks about what he does for a woman, I was crying with laughter. She's brilliant. Her facial expressions. Brilliant. She's a comic genius. Schmidt was getting to her. Yes.

He was getting to her. Would you say my pregnancy isn't as gay as I am? She says something like that. It's so funny. It's like, you need to leave. I have to be faithful to my wife. Get out of the room. Yeah, but that blew my mind, man. That blew my mind, especially...

the connection, like you said, between, you know, getting to the place of realization of, of, of who he is. He's a, he's a lover, man. All that other extra stuff is just, it's just false. It's just false. You know, me, I'm different. You know, I'm different. I can't tell you, I can't tell you how many times I've,

arrived to that place with a young lady as we engage in adult things and it's usually at the same time it's a simultaneous situation just like in the movies and then they always leave you know um unhappy they never call me back you need to go see a lesbian gynecologist and you need to explain what's happening what you're doing and get some very honest feedback it's

Or you need to fall in love. Just fall in love. That's what I thought. I thought we were in love. Anyway. You gotta fall in love. You gotta fall in love. Another thing I remember about this episode, which I thought was disgusting. What? It was disgusting. We were filming part of this episode in the zoo. Oh, yeah. I remember that. And there was one gorilla that kept eating poop.

and throwing it i just thought to myself what i had no idea this was a real thing oh i would i'd be so grossed out and he was staring at us making direct eye contact like y'all want some of this i was like no we good all right well for me he's eating slow motion just watching us talking about what y'all getting into tonight i'm just gonna be doing this yeah that was uh that was awful to see

I remember going to the LA Zoo to shoot this because we didn't actually go on like location locations like that very often. You might be shooting like a weird house or street but not like the zoo. And we I remember shooting on the bench by where the bear is. Shout out to a real bear. Now it's time for Where's the Bear? Where's the bear?

Where's the Bear is brought to you by Hyundai. When it comes to your journey, Hyundai is thinking of every mile. Oh, you found the bear. Okay. I mean, it's a literal shot of an actual bear. Okay. So we solved that mystery. You know what's crazy? I didn't. I usually am trying to figure it out. And

It was right in front of me the whole time. An actual shot. Literal shot of a bear. We sat in front of the bear. There's a literal bear. And then Robbie talks about how he is like a bear. There's a whole speech about a bear. And then there's a bear. And then there's a shot of the bear next to the bear. Okay. I give you that. You know.

Just saying. Just saying. No need for the fridge bear. We had a real ass bear. Thanks for helping us with our bear hunt, Hyundai. Remember, with Hyundai, it's all about the journey. Whatever your destination, they've got the latest tech to get you there safe and keep your passengers entertained along the way. From shopping to buying to owning, Hyundai has your back. Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com. But I remember sitting on that bench.

Where CZ is talking to Robbie because she now has this information she didn't want that she needs to start having children really quickly. And he says he wants to have kids too, but not for like 10 more years. Right. And I have this information from K cannon. Look at the face of your boyfriend and see if you could see your kids. And I didn't. And then I remember Marnie came to visit. Dave and Brett were on set.

Actually, I don't know if Brett was, but Dave Finkel was on set, one of our EPs, and she was pregnant with their third baby.

And so she actually designs jewelry. It's gorgeous jewelry. I'm actually wearing it in the opening scene of this episode, a necklace that she gifted me. It's really beautiful. But then Marnie walks up to say hi. She's so pregnant. She's so happy with her third baby. I'm sitting there having this speech with Robbie, realizing I'm probably not going to stay with my actual boyfriend in real life.

And she's just like so happy and in love with Dave and pregnant. And again, it's one of those weird like life art kind of moments where I'm like, what's happening? And I was like, I want what they have. The Finkels just look so happy and she looks so beautiful pregnant.

Because it wasn't like there's a lot of pregnant women walking around our show that you would see all the time. But in this episode, there was one walking around the zoo part of our show that kind of made these issues feel even more brought to light. So do you think, do you think that in a way, the energy around set, it was all that, the energy of being on this show dictated that?

the path that your life was headed down? I think for a lot of us, there were some real moments where things kind of would cut a little close to home. Because here's the thing, the characters were single, they're friends with their family, trying to figure out that next step. And a lot of us were in the same boat in our real life.

In that transitioning between like just having a boyfriend, wanting more serious relationships or having a girlfriend or more serious relationships, becoming parents, doing all of that stuff. And it often was, you know, messy or unclear or we're doubting ourselves and there are big life changes. And then on the show, the characters are going through the same thing. So there's obviously going to have points where it just happened to sync up.

But I just think it's so funny that Kay gave me that information that I was like, oh! And then it got me thinking, like, would you want the information about your fertility? Would you want to go do a fertility test to find out where you're at? I would have loved to have done that. You know what I mean? You know? Even now, you know, because there's still some... I should be filling the spaces out there in the world with kids like Nick Cannon. I should be...

I should have 30, 37 kids right now. I should, but I have one and she is the dopest. So I don't know if I can... Yeah. Yeah, she's the dopest. But if you're out there and you need Nick Cannon in your life, call me. There's a whole scene in this episode about that where Jess is sort of like...

I think I need to have kids soon. And all the guys step up of why they would be the best. And the difference between the pressure, what a woman has to go through is thinking having a baby. And a guy's like, Oh, I got five minutes. Yeah. No, I wouldn't be five. It'd be a solid 17. But you know, my character, I knew for a fact she wouldn't choose my character. I knew for a fact, you know, I, because I,

In that scene, if you pay attention, my haircut is so bad. Ain't nobody going to hang out with me. Not with that guy. You ain't letting him in. He's like, no, he's out. Look at the haircut. Can't do it. You cannot pass.

That was so well highlighted in that too, where the guys all casually, like it was no big deal. And everybody would be lucky to have it. Just be like, oh no, here, here's some. Take this. I got you. Except for Nick, which was also that great writing of our show where he's like, absolutely not me.

It's so perfect. And it lets you know. It lets you in. It lets you in. A little Easter egg right there. It's definitely you. It's definitely you, man.

MITRE is investing in a massive AI supercomputer to power a new federal AI sandbox. With AI's potential to drive transformational advances across industries, MITRE's expertise in healthcare, cybersecurity, transportation, finance, climate, and national security will be critical. Transform your career while helping solve problems for a safer world. Visit MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

For 25 years, Brightview Senior Living Associates have been committed to creating a vibrant culture and delivering exceptional services, making Brightview a great place to work and live. If you're looking for a rewarding opportunity to serve your local community and grow, we want you to join our team. Brightview Senior Living is growing and actively seeking vibrant associates to join our community teams, including directors, healthcare, activities, hospitality, and dining. Apply today at careers.brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal employment opportunities.

Text BVJOBS to 97211 to apply. The national sales event is on at your Toyota dealer. Making now the perfect time to get a great deal on a dependable new SUV, like an adventure-ready RAV4. Available with all-wheel drive, your new RAV4 is built for performance on any terrain. Or check out a stylish and comfortable Highlander.

With seating for up to eight passengers and an available panoramic moonroof, you can sit back and enjoy the wide open views with the whole family. Check out more national sales event deals when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places.

If you're ready for an epic family vacation, there's no better place than sunny Orlando. Exciting thrills, never-ending food festivals, fresh new dining experiences, outdoor adventures, and Florida's natural springs, and so much more. Orlando has it all. And Visit Orlando's vacation planners can help you plan the perfect trip. In Orlando, anything is possible if you can imagine it. And that's what makes Orlando unbelievably real. Plan your escape today and save at visitorlando.com.

Watching the Winston storyline about his adjusted sleep schedule and then how he turned into a jerk at the end because he just like breaks because he's so tired and he can't stand it anymore. Made me think about a friend of mine. A friend of mine went to Stanford and she said she took a class on sleep and she was explaining how sleep is

Like deficit is a real thing that you can go into deficit. It's not like every night, like, oh, I got a good night's sleep last night. That makes up for last night. It's not, you go into deficit. And so if you are on an adjusted sleep schedule and you just kept getting bad night's sleep and bad night's sleep and bad night's sleep, it starts to build in you until you become a crazy rage filled human. Hannah, if y'all just tuning in,

It's 4.22 in the morning, Hannah. I'm recording. If you remember from last week, I am still on the Screak Island. Lamar is still in LA. I'd like for everyone to know it's 9.30 in the morning for him. He's doing fine. No, it's not. It's 9.30 in the morning. If they can't see, Joe, I'll get a screenshot of this. I am literally wrapped in a blanket right now. You're going to sleep.

Daddy's tired. This reminds me a lot of actually when we were on set together because it was, I'd be like, I was like, can I talk to you? You're like coming to my trailer and you would just be like, so cozy laying down like babies. We were so, it's so funny how we would talk to each other. There was no formality in any of our friendships. It was so beautiful. People just be like, no, I'm half asleep and I have a sandwich here, like half on the floor. And what do you want to say to me? And then say it. And then like, leave me alone. Cause I'm going to go back to sleep.

I can have full conversations with my eyes closed and it'd be okay. People understand. That's right. And there was no judgment. We were tired then. We are tired now. Sleep deficit. See? Sleep deficit. It's a real thing. We're still recovering from New Girl. Trust me. I know. It is an insane thing. I remember driving to set once. Again, sleep deprived. I used to hang out late. And I remember them getting an email or checking the email and realizing I had to be at work. I didn't know I had to be at work.

I thought I was gonna just be up till 7:00 a.m. Partying and kicking it and no I got that email check my email and it was like yeah you have a I think it's like one of those early 608 call times or something like that and It so I couldn't sleep and I was driving to work and let me tell you something. I was dead I was dead to the world and I at one point I had to like pull over I wasn't drunk guys I wasn't drinking and

Um, but I do remember being on the side of the road going like, I'm tired. I was like, I don't know. And I, and I kept thinking about all the times, um, in, in everyday life. I worked at Walmart. I worked at TGI Fridays. I worked at Hollywood video. I worked at a lot of different places. And if I were sick, I'll call in. If I were super, super tired, I would call in. I try to find somebody to cover my shift.

This show wouldn't allow for that. So the show must go on. The show must go on. Delirious or not? It's a crazy industry where calling in sick is unheard of. So I just did a show called Not Dead Yet with my boo, Gina Rodriguez. And Gina was pregnant while we were shooting Not Dead Yet. And I caught one of the worst shots

flu viruses I've ever had in my entire life. I ended up in the hospital. Yeah, like for real, I was super, super, super, super, super sick. I went home. Thank goodness I was okay. It was fine. I went home, but I'm super sick with a virus, highly contagious virus. And I remember I was sort of like, I can't come to work, you guys. First of all, we have, you know, you know, a hundred people that work on our show.

Also, one of them, though I have to speak to inches from her face, is a very pregnant woman, very dearly. And we really had to figure it out and navigate it because I was like, I'm not coming.

And there's no way to really test when you're not contagious anymore. So it was just everyday calling being like, how do you feel now? And I'm like, still like trash. And we had to sort it out because, and I had never, I remember a new girl being super sick, but you just would show up and get through it. And we did, but it's the one thing of all of this COVID testing and talking about health now on sets where at least you

They have some sort of protections in place now because if people have COVID, they couldn't come to work. They got them face condoms to protect you from that virus. It was wild. It was sort of like, well, you don't have COVID. I'm like, I know I don't have COVID, but this is pretty bad and I don't want to give it to anybody.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what that's the one reason. I mean, there's a number of reasons, but that's the one reason I personally don't want to get pregnant. I don't. I can't do it. People are confident season on me.

Yeah. It just hurts your baby and your body. You don't want that. That's why I can't do it. That's what that's, you know, scientifically, biologically, that's why my body won't adjust to a baby being in it. Do you think, okay, all silliness aside, like, do you think that men have their own version of like a big biological clock?

Yeah. Like in this episode where it's just like, I need to have a baby like now, soon. Yeah. Yes. Because what you don't want to do is have bum knees trying to play catch or chase around a two and a half year old, you know, because right now, let me tell you something, chasing around my two and a half year old. I'm starting to notice. I'm starting to notice for some reason she's super fast. I'm like, she's either getting really fast or I'm getting really slow. That's what's happening. That's right.

You young, though. You're young. I'm young. I can still touch the rim in basketball for all those folks out there listening. I still got ups. I got bunnies in these calves. It's funny, the weird checks that they do in this episode about if you're

grown or not like when Nick comes and he's like you're throwing out my ketchup collection and I'm like all of us did that for many years you would just keep the little packets and like it's a plug in a drawer why you got a whole bottle in your fridge but Nick Miller's still in the stage of life where he's got a ketchup collection of the free packs yes and I think that's the thing about his character is that he'll never get out of that

He'll never get out of that. I love that so much because I could relate to it. And shout out to our props department because he also had a milk crate.

In his like office. And I remember that was like always a thing in college dorms. Like milk, go get the milk crates. You know what else milk crates were good for where I come from? You would, you would take a wooden piece of wood and you would, you would nail it to a, you would nail it to a, like a electricity pole or a phone pole in the alley. And then you would take a milk crate and you would saw off the bottom of the milk crate and

And you would nail that crate to that piece of wood on that foam pole in the alley. And you got yourself a basketball hoop. Hey. Mm hmm. MacGyver. MacGyver. That's how we did it. We would have full court sessions. I'm actually going to build one in my house pretty soon. It's an old school wooden court. By the way, like custom courts and rims and you called it like like milk crate.

Milk crate jumps. I don't know what you call it. We call it a crate. A crate. I'm telling you, it's a good name for a company. That's the roots of it. The crate. You know what? We're entrepreneurs today. Exactly. Speaking of entrepreneurs, there's one character on our show who's trying to make something of himself who wants to do it from the ground up. He wants to grind without big businesses' help. And the way he's going to do that is to write a book. Wow.

That he never gets around to writing. And in this episode, he writes it. He writes it. He finishes Z is for zombie. Right. But, but it's the first draft. So he does things like misspell rhythm 38 times. And it puts a word search in that has no words in it. And he puts a word search in it. One thing that I did find interesting is,

interesting about Nick's book is that when he gives it to Winston, what does he tell him? He says he kills off the black guy first because it's a staple of the genre. Wait, that's from the book? Yeah. That's from the book, right? I know why I died laughing when I...

Full honesty. Because you're like, that's the truth? I was like, oh, okay. Somebody just wrote the truth. Makes sense. It was cracking me up that this episode about this big thing that most women have to face at some point or another if they want to have kids or not. Not all women, but some women really. It's a big thing that Kay's writing that.

and walking us through and doing it so beautifully and about Schmidt and love and physical intimacy versus emotional intimacy also has to write the actual text for Z is for zombie and make it as dumb and ridiculous as possible. Yes. And it's those moments that I realized how much I love new girl. I'm like, that's the craziest because it gave us two really, I love a max break and max breaks twice in this episode. One is when he's watching Z,

Jake pretend to be Ernest Hemingway in the kitchen fully breaks. And then the other is him watching him, uh,

watch you read z is for zombie in your very funny voice he can't keep it together at all he's like and i he says in it and i i feel like it was improvised he says like please never stop reading this yeah and it felt like that was a max line maybe not but it felt like possibly because there are moments i was improvising within that uh within that what was happening in that book

Oh, yeah. Co-written by Lamorne Morris. Yeah. There's something about a dude named Rallo that I mentioned. That was not scripted. That was not scripted. I try to mention an old black dude named Rallo in everything that I do. That's the one time it made it in. Yeah? How? I probably said the name Rallo 50 times on New Girl with improvised takes.

Because Rollo... This is the time it came in. Uh-huh. Who's Rollo? Rollo was the name... I think I first heard that name. I think he was a character that was always alluded to or was on Sanford and Son back in the day. Oh. Fred Sanford, played by Red Fox, had all these random characters that would pop up on the show. And I think the character was named Rollo. I don't know why that name makes me laugh. So this iconic comedy... Mm-hmm.

Is now in Z is for zombie and will forever live. Yeah. Hysterical. Fun fact. Shout out to Red Fox. RIP. I'll say this. I say it before and I'll say it again. I love doing this podcast. I love all the weird things that you learn and you figure out on a rewatch that as somebody that lived it, I would never know. And if you and I sat down and went for dinner, we would never bring it up and talk about it. No. Oh, no.

It's so much stuff to go through. It's so many episodes. And within each episode, it is hours and hours and hours and hours a day working on it. So yeah, shout out to the rewatch. Shout out to us. Yeah, we're doing it. We're doing it. We're loving it. You guys are listening to it. Hope you're loving it. Thank you. And also buy my new underwear collection. Link is in the bio.

Welcome to the show. That's what it's called. I honestly thought that was the name of your underwear collection. Lincoln. Lincoln's bio. I was like, Lincoln's bio? Lincoln, what? What's the story? You got a story about that with some old TV show too? No. A guy called Lincoln. Lincoln. Lincoln Grimes.

- This is what happens when I record late at night on the other side of the world from you and you're recording early in the morning. - It's late, it's 4:20 in the morning now. 4:20, it's still dark outside. - It's 9:30 for you. But I can't believe now I go to a friend tomorrow at breakfast and be like,

I think I'm so tired, but I think you said something about an underwear collection called Lincoln's Bio. Anyway, I'm sure it's going to be cool. We should support it. We should support it, you guys. I should do that. Lincoln's Bio. Hey, iHeart, can y'all go ahead and make that for us, please? Underwear collection.

You've got an underwear company now. Now you're going to do the milk crate basketball, custom basketball courts. Yes. This is supposed to be an episode where we really dive deep into fertility. That's right. Women dealing with like, do they want to have kids or not? The involvement of science. Do we want the information? Evil eggs versus good eggs. And instead we are launching you as an entrepreneur and

and giving you a lot of passive income. That's right. Milk crates and Lincoln bios. Yeah. I mean, is that what I said? Lincoln bios. Oh my gosh. Oh, we're tired. We are so happy, but tired. We are. Um, so we found the bear. We, we went to, I am shocked. By the way, in the whole series,

We have to say this is the most undeniable, obvious bear of the bears in the in the zoo. The bear, a big old bear. That's right. This is probably that. We'll be right back, folks.

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

For 25 years, Brightview Senior Living Associates have been committed to creating a vibrant culture and delivering exceptional services, making Brightview a great place to work and live. If you're looking for a rewarding opportunity to serve your local community and grow, we want you to join our team. Brightview Senior Living is growing and actively seeking vibrant associates to join our community teams, including directors, healthcare, activities, hospitality, and dining. Apply today at careers.brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal employment opportunities.

Text BVJOBS to 97211 to apply. Hey guys, LaVar Arrington here to tell you the National Sales Event is on at your Toyota dealer. Making now the perfect time to get a great deal on a dependable new truck like a rugged half-ton Tundra. Combining raw capability with premium comfort and advanced tech to fuel your wildest adventures.

Or check out the fully redesigned Tacoma, delivering trail-dominating power and captivating style. The new Tacoma was born to make your off-roading dreams come true. Check out more national sales events deals when you visit buyatoyota.com. Toyota, let's go places. If you're ready for an epic family vacation, there's no better place than sunny Orlando. Exciting thrills, never-ending food festivals,

fresh new dining experiences, outdoor adventures, and Florida's natural springs, and so much more. Orlando has it all. And Visit Orlando's vacation planners can help you plan the perfect trip. In Orlando, anything is possible if you can imagine it. And that's what makes Orlando unbelievably real. Plan your escape today and save at visitorlando.com. And we are black.

There's so many good egg puns, man. If you think of all the foods that make good puns. Yeah. You got some egg. It can be an exquisite episode that we just had. Excellent one. Okay. You must excuse me because we're going to commercial break. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to click exit on this recording just yet. You know what I'm saying? Because this podcast still exists.

I'm sad we're just doing this now. We should have done the whole podcast. It would have been an extraordinary episode. I mean, I never want this to end. I never want it to end. This is the greatest thing in the entire world. Well, thanks for hanging out. And I love this episode. Caused me to break up with my boyfriend. Shout out to the exes out there who didn't get the fertilized eggs.

so crazy but you know what here's the thing it sounds crazy but just like anybody's workplace you'll have a conversation with a co-worker that makes you see things differently that's his life that's why i always say i always say keep tracy and them out my damn business let me tell them my business at work you know come home with ideas and stuff

clock in clock out and I didn't I paid attention I listened and I changed my mind you guys this was a super fun episode Lamorne I love you love the mess around that's right we'll see you next week Lincoln Lincoln Lincoln Lincoln bio bye you guys oh god

You've been listening to Welcome to Our Show, a New Girl Recap podcast. Welcome to Our Show is a production of iHeartRadio, hosted by Zooey Deschanel, Lamorne Morris, and Hannah Simone. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique.

Our engineer and editor is Daniel Goodman. The Welcome to Our Show theme song was written by Zooey Deschanel, performed and produced by Zooey Deschanel and Pierre Derrida. Follow us on Instagram at WelcomeToOurShowPod. If you have a question you'd like us to answer, you can email us at WelcomeToOurShowPodcast at gmail.com. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share far and wide. Thanks for listening. We'll hear you next week. Welcome to Our Show.

Am I doing the right thing with my finances? Am I saving enough? Can I buy a house? Am I paying too much in taxes? Will I be able to retire? Putting a financial plan together feels impossible. What if I told you there was another way? Take FACET's free financial wellness quiz to get your score and a snapshot of your current financial health. Visit FACET.com now and discover your financial wellness score today. That's F-A-C-E-T.com.

This ad is sponsored by Facet. Facet Wealth Incorporated is an SEC-registered investment advisor. This is not an offer to buy or sell securities, nor is it investment, legal, or tax advice.

MITRE's mission is to solve problems for a safer world. If you have a passion for applied cybersecurity with skills in infrastructure threat intelligence, deterrence technologies, advisal threat emulation, or intelligence analysis, explore the many challenging and fulfilling career opportunities at MITRE.org slash careers. That's M-I-T-R-E dot org slash careers.

Hey, who doesn't love bacon? And did you know Oscar Mayer smokes their delicious bacon for 12 hours over real hardwood? That's a really long time to perfect the smoky flavor

And even longer than it takes to go on a long road trip from Chicago to Pittsburgh, stop for food along the way, and still get there while the bacon is smoking. The point is, Oscar Mayer takes the best cuts and smokes them over real hardwood chips. There's no wrong way to enjoy it. So buy some Oscar Mayer thick cut bacon now.

For 25 years, Brightview Senior Living Associates have been committed to creating a vibrant culture and delivering exceptional services, making Brightview a great place to work and live. If you're looking for a rewarding opportunity to serve your local community and grow, we want you to join our team. Brightview Senior Living is growing and actively seeking vibrant associates to join our community teams, including directors, healthcare, activities, hospitality, and dining. Apply today at careers.brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal employment opportunities.

Text BVJOBS to 97211 to apply.