119: Secrets
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more you save. Do not delay, dear listener. Experience the fashion revolution that is snag and visit snagtights.us today. Ring, ring, ring, ring. May I please speak with Zoe? Oh, hello, Lamorne. Let's patch in Hannah. God, I forgot what it was like working with you guys. Hey, gang. How you doing?

Hello, everybody. Hi. Zoe, are you still locked up in a hotel? I was never locked up in a hotel. Where were you? I'm in my parents' house right now, but I'm done with quarantine. Same as a hotel. Parents' house, same as a hotel. I wasn't stuck here the whole time. I was just leaving my house so that other people can go in my house.

Do they cook for you, your parents? They will. So everybody...

When this episode airs, this will be far over. So I don't want everybody to think that when this airs that we all have COVID. But we all have COVID while we're making right now. And last week, obviously. We're at the end. It's almost the end. But my mom got it. And I got it. And so anyway. But we all had mild cases. So there you go. Thank goodness. I went two and a half years without catching COVID. Right.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's taking care of yourself right there. Not bad. Did you ever get it, Hannah, or no? Still haven't gotten it. Uh-oh. Yeah. Lamorne's been catching it for me. Lamorne's been catching it for me. You've had it like three times. I got it twice. I got it twice. You got it twice. That's right. For me and for you. You took one for the team. I appreciate you. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was like so...

special that I hadn't gotten it. And then it's inevitable. It's a matter of brought it home. That was it was. Yeah, exactly. She she got it. And, you know, and I got it. Everybody's stronger for it. Yeah, we're all OK. Can we have to dive in and do this episode? It's one of my favorite episodes. I don't know why I like this episode so much. Yeah, I love it. Secrets.

Secrets, directed by David Wayne. David Wayne! Love David Wayne. Oh, wait, you guys, I just want to say something about last week's episode. Sure. Which was Fancy Man 2. Yeah. We didn't mention our director, which was Matt Shackman.

And he's awesome. Oh, yes. So I just want to give a shout out to him. He's awesome. He's done like tons of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Game of Thrones. And he's an excellent director. So we only got to have him one time on New Girl, sadly, but just wanted to mention him since, you know, we've...

you know, mention people. Shout out to Matt. Shout out to Matt. Anyway, back to this week's episode. David Wayne. Secret. Great director. Yes, indeed. Yes. He makes an appearance in this episode. Multiple times. He does. Multiple times. If you're not familiar with David Wayne, he's a fantastic director. Wet Hot American Summer, that guy. Wet Hot American Summer is one of my favorite comedies. Yeah.

Such a great movie. He's an actor, director, writer. And you can tell he has his hands on this episode. For me personally, there was a moment, I guess we can get into it later. There was a moment where he was very hands on slash hands off with the scene that I did. And it was the first time me being on that show where I felt completely 100% confident.

to perform. And then I thought, man, this is what it could be. It was the Theodore K. Mullins monologue. I mean, you went there. You went there.

Was that like an Oprah Winfrey quote? Like the color purple. That was going to be a little trivia thing that I was going to do. From color purple? Yeah. Yeah. When I said, you told Harpo to be, that was just that one line from the color purple. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that line from color purple. And. Well, I'll just talk about it. I'll just talk about it. Was it like, how was it on the page? Yeah.

Versus what you did. It wasn't as in-depth. It wasn't as in-depth on the page. I remember it being very loose and David saying to me, just give it, just try a couple takes at it and play with it, have fun. And I remember doing a take. It might have been the first take.

And he'd never called cut. And I just kept doing bits. I just kept saying stuff. And then I was so used to, you know, sometimes on the show, if I go off the rails completely, we don't have a lot of time for that, you would hear a cut. And I just remember seeing him laughing behind the monitor. And I just took that as a sign to just keep making stuff up. And it was, again, like I said, one of the first times where I felt completely...

Free to just do whatever throwing that you told Harpo to beat me line in there that this whole bit is like a whole bit is like owed to like old black churches and like. Let's set the scene if you're listening. So this is the scene in the episode where Nick Higgins,

I mean, we're kind of jumping to the end, I will say that. Right. We're jumping to the end, but it's a moment. Where he's been caught lying to multiple girls and he doesn't know how to get them out of the house. And so Winston's character steps in and pretends to be Nick's lover on the down low to get these women to race out of the house. And then Lamorne is now explaining how he came up with this idea.

a crazy character. Yeah, the voice, the character theater at Cape Millen's, obviously it comes from, like I've said before, the actor, Russell Hornsby. That was just me doing exaggerated version of his vocal pattern and his vocal quality. But it turned into this weird thing. And in this monologue, I just felt the freedom to just pull in

You know, Negro spirituals. I don't know why I went there with it, but they didn't cut it. And so it turned out to be what it what it was. And from that moment on, I felt free to do things on the show. It's like a brink. You're on the brink of tears, but also like full of rage. Yeah.

It's like this marriage of these two things that makes everybody feel a little uncomfortable because it sounds like you're just about to pop off and you don't know which way it's going to go, which is very effective in clearing a room, which is what you're trying to do. Oh, 100%. It's a very...

you know, what's love got to do with it? Yes. Type of performance, I guess. Exactly. You told Harpo to beat me. Shout out to all the, uh, color purple fans out there. Shout out to one of our longterm or longtime listeners, Oprah Winfrey. Big fan. Oprah's a big fan of our show.

She posts about it all the time. She's bought all our merch, by the way. We just launched merch for this podcast and it's sold out. And Oprah has purchased all of it. Sorry, guys. There's a few pieces left. Just a few. If you go to the website, you might grab the few that Ms. Winfrey did. Oprah is just sitting in her Montecito mansion wearing a Welcome to Our Show shirt.

with the mug. She's got a hat and definitely a hoodie. She's covered in the enamel pins. She's got her golden retrievers snuggling up. She's reading a good book. Yeah. With her private jet that she shares with Zoe outside in the back. Ha ha!

All right. I will support that rumor. Yeah, that's a great rumor. Hop on that. We'll just share. Let's start from the top of this episode. Okay. Now that we're halfway through. Okay. It's one of my favorite openings ever because it's where we first get to meet Nadia.

And what is now like this infamous line, which I'll get, I'll let Lamorne say, well,

What, this one, Jew in the Couch? That's right. Why don't you let me say it? You said it now, not me. Just as bad. That's on you. Well, the writers of New Girl, hopefully a Jewish writer, said Jew in the Couch, Jew in the Couch. And then you kind of check her a little bit. That's right. I said, you're in America. You can't say that. And so she goes, Jew person in the couch? That's right. The thing that I remember is because it was our first time really like working together in that scene.

Is Max genuinely having to be buried in that couch, a little claustrophobic, and then having to pop out. And it's right on that line. And he goes, she's not wrong. Right. And he broke almost every single time. I think that's when we all got so caught off guard by how incredibly funny Rebecca is. Just naturally, she just makes you laugh. Sure.

she who she is she has a that impact on you and it was our first experience i just remember him breaking and laughing um and me just being like oh i hope she sticks around she's amazing i hope we're roommates on this show was that the first time we saw your apartment

- I feel like it might be. I feel like it might be. - Because I remember, I forget why I saw that apartment when we were filming. I think it was built on another stage.

It was on, was it on the stage next door? It was on the next stage. Yeah. They finally ended up building it. It used to be a flex set. So it would come and go. And then they ended up keeping it in later seasons. Cause we shot a bunch there. And shout outs are, are set designers. I remember seeing the set and going, Oh, this is cool. But then when you watch it on TV and this happens all the time, but I just remember this one, I don't know why this one in particular, I genuinely felt like it was a real apartment. I, it,

Something about the design of it. I think also the fact that you didn't spend as much time on there. On that set. I think it's like how all sets, I feel like if you're watching TV and you don't spend a lot of time on it, like the actors or the people working on the shows, it looks like a real apartment. All our sets were so good.

I do. I do have to say. And fun fact about that scene as well. Max did a thousand pushups before. So I don't want you to think I don't want the fans out there to think he just looks like that. No, he was getting pumped up in between each scene. So, you know.

There's that. So this first scene, I was going to say, I love that Jess is listening to Diane Keaton's autobiography. That always made me laugh. Which, of course, she is. And so Jess comes to Cece's apartment and Cece's acting weird. They're supposed to be training for a...

like a 5k or 10k um and i also find it funny that they're running that five it's like a 5k and it's not it's not that much distance like a 5k doesn't take that long to run it and it's like they they're running it into the night like the end of the episode is like nighttime

it's like how slow is jess she can't be that slow that would probably be me in real life like everything is a walkathon there's no way i don't i don't run you're not you're not a runner no i'm not gonna lie to you not gonna lie to you we couldn't tell by your form in in the i will never forget showing up to shoot that part and i was just like okay so how are we gonna like fudge this and david wayne was like you're

I was like, that's like, that's like, that's real running. I was gonna run. I was like, not excited about it at all. I thought it was funny. They were like, I used to like, I mean, I wasn't at that time, but I was like a runner. Like I would run every day. Like it was my thing. I'd run like six days a week.

And they're like, okay, and Hannah, Hannah's amazing at running and you're so awful it takes you like six hours to run a 5K. You have to be like walking slowly. We had to do our best acting.

Because it was very good acting. You had to act like a bad runner. I'm not saying I don't run with terrible, stupid form, but I did used to run a lot. If you see arms flailing on the street, it's probably Zully running. The other big memory I had watching this episode was when we're stretching outside of the loft. Yeah. Jess is stretching and Cece's trying to apologize. Yeah.

I don't know if you remember this, but I remember really clearly. I remember shooting it. Paparazzi. Oh, yeah. Taking pictures. And I personally, as Hannah, had never experienced paparazzi before. It was like a massive amount of paparazzi, too. It was like. Yes. A press line like there were. A lot. A lot.

And I was very like across the street. It was uncomfortable. I was very like, didn't know what to do. We're trying to shoot. We're trying to do a thing. And I'll never forget you walked over.

To me, because I was just like, what is it like? What are we supposed to do? Do we run and hide in the building? Do they leave? Like, what do we do? And you came and you put your arm around me and you're like, if we just look and smile and let them take their pictures, it'll go away. And so that's what we did. We sat there. We gave each other a hug. We smiled. We waved. And then the whole thing dissipated. And you kind of walked me through that first moment.

I forgot that there were times where they had paparazzi. Remember when we would shoot on the roof of that building and like... Oh, yeah. MacArthur Park. MacArthur Park, that building across from MacArthur Park, and we'd shoot on the roof and there would be...

Like, paparazzi in the building across the way taking pictures of us shooting. And I remember one time they took a picture with, like, a really unflattering lens or something. And I was like, oh, my God. I was, like, wearing shorts or a short skirt. And I was like, oh, my God. I looked so bad in that picture. Like, how did I end up wearing this unflattering outfit? And then the show came out and I looked totally fine. And I was like…

They have like purposefully unflattering, like opposite of Instagram filter. It's like the reverse filter. Me and my girlfriend, we have a good relationship with paparazzi where they never take photos of us whenever we're out. And so that's why you've never seen photos of me and my girlfriend out and about the street. Your girlfriend Zoe Kravitz? Zoe Kravitz, yeah. You wouldn't believe that we were dating. The fact that she's imaginary is...

helps the paparazzi no no very real well she's not imaginary but the relationship is that's what we want you guys to think you know what i mean yeah the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making you believe he wasn't real okay okay so in this relationship what happens in this episode is you come by blah blah blah blah something's going on it's a little off

Yeah. Okay. So is this the first time we realized like Nick's a terrible liar? Yes. Sweat back. Yeah. This is like, this becomes kind of a trope is that you can't hold the secret any longer. And you tell Nick, Nick's a terrible liar, which has also been established because he can't lie to that. The girl that, that was leaving the apartment. And I come back and I,

Quickly identify that Nick is lying to me. He's lying. By his sweaty back. By his sweaty... Well, he doesn't even really put up a fight either. That's the funniest part about the whole thing. He immediately breaks because he just can't handle it. All it takes is for me to say, fold, fold, fold, fold. And he does it. I was kind of... I didn't fully remember this episode, but then I watched it. I was like...

Why does Jess feel so entitled to know that they were sleeping together?

Well, it's her best friend. To be that angry about it? I was just like, holy smokes. It just seemed like to be angry. I guess it's how hurt shows itself. It wasn't the anger that they were together. It was the anger that they were keeping it from her. I would be upset about that. I wouldn't be as mad, but especially if it were going on for that long, I would go, why did you tell me? Why did you feel the need to keep it from me? I think...

And it's like my roommate, my best friend. I mean, I get it. I get it. And also the fact Jess is the person that always tells everything. So she kind of thinks everybody else is always being completely 100% upfront about everything. It also is pretty messy for CC to be hooking up with your friends

best friend's roommate because if things go south yeah there can be a domino effect on that she's sloppy she's sloppy that's true that is very very very messy that's the takeaway from your character so far is that you're messy you're sloppy and you're messy i kind of agreed to be honest with you i was just like get your house in order what are you doing your character has taken a dramatic uh leap as far as maturity i will say in this show

So different how you are in the first season, how you are in the final season when you're a mother and you're married and you own your own business. It's so... You would not think you were the exact same person from season one. Yeah, I mean, I feel like also this storyline that CeCe and Schmidt had was something that I really kind of had to...

figure out for myself this idea that physical intimacy was like really easy and super casual for them and the emotional intimacy was really really hard and that was the scary thing right because I feel like

for me at least growing up for so many of my friends it was the opposite right like they were so open and easy with their hearts to like fall in love fall in love with the next boy like every single week it was fine they were open-hearted but then being physically intimate was a lot scarier and it was a much longer game before any of that was going to happen so in this character when I learned that about Cece that she's just like oh no that's fine

I'll hook up and that's like, that's not a big deal. Doesn't scare me. I don't worry about it. But catching feelings is terrifying and I will dodge that as long as I can. It was very different to kind of see how that world works. Was this the first time we saw this version of Jess? Just like this type. I know we had seen you in injured scenes.

little mean towards Nick Due to his circumstance, but in this one, you know Would you say this is one of the first times because you that it was directed towards CC? Maybe well No, because they have that little loft fight right that my face is my job loft fight. I remember that I feel like that happens not it's not a big fight though That was a physical fight

Oh, that one? I can't... I don't remember. The face is my job and you're like jumping on my back. My earring gets caught. I mean, that one showed me that these were like sisters. These are like sisters and how they can... You're free to get mad at the other person because you know it doesn't impact your love for them or them leaving your life or something. And that showed me in this episode like how deep the sisterhood ran between the girls. Well, I think it was just really...

freaking lame that you went to the movies with Jessica P. I just can't believe you would go to see My Girl with Jessica P. So I'd like your answer for that.

I had a freaking pee. We do a lot of bits on the show and we say a lot of ridiculous things on the show. I have to say, the circumstance being so ridiculous that you're mad about something that happened that long ago, but the way you played it was so convincing, even though you had a mask on your face and I felt like you were tearing up. I was like, damn, she...

She played that so real and honest. I was upset about it. That would have been a fun thing to have happen in later seasons, is Jessica P's in town. Yeah, Jessica P should have come back. Yeah, she should have come back. I want to know who she is. I want to know what happened. You'd get so mad that it was her. No, I could just picture it. It's like, you know, some new person comes in

Into your class and their name is also Jessica and they're cool and they want to be friends with your friend. And, you know, I can totally I can relate to this. I can relate to this. I've never had that problem. Another Lamorne has never showed up to my class. There's been a few Lamars.

It's not the same. No, Lamar. I will say this. Going by the first letter of your last name, though, is a good way to distinguish between people who have the same first name. Because I remember there was two girls called Sarah in my dorm. And one was, I don't know, my height, let's say. And the other one, she was actually quite short, like super short. Yeah.

So people called her, I did not, but people to find them would be like Big Sarah and Little Sarah. But no girl wants to be called like Big Hannah. You know what I'm saying? So even though there was nothing big about Big Sarah, it was just comparatively to the other Sarah. It was Big Sarah and Little Sarah for all of college. And it was just like this weird way of differentiating between these two names. And now I'm like, they should have just been like, that's Sarah F.

And that's Sarah T. That would have been a lot easier and more of an accurate description. On this episode, y'all, we have something else that's interesting. There's another first on this episode where, you know, you know, the dynamic between the guys on the show, we, we have the same feeling about Schmidt and his behavior and we just let him be who he is going to be. And we're not necessarily fans of it, but we love him. Nick actually goes to Schmidt for advice. Yeah.

about how to sleep around which i thought was how to be a douchebag teach me to be a douchebag i when there's something about the way jake is playing this that i found to be so refreshing because it was it was it was it was funny it was like a guy trying i've never seen a guy trying to it's like a workshop of how to be a douchebag and the dynamic between them to the lessons the

in the bed or doing the chalkboard thing, the air chalkboard. That's the invisible chalkboard. I don't know. I thought that was, I thought that was very, very funny. I also felt like all those girls were so territorial. I know. They're very possessive. Weirdly possessive. Well, when you're doing what Nick is doing, you can't help it.

I just thought it was amazing to see how you could change your mind about somebody so quickly. And just because they learned that he's sleeping with Cece, all of a sudden, he's a voice to be trusted. He's an expert in the realm. Just because one woman has lost her mind. Yes. There's a flip to this, which is why I also love the tag of this episode, too, because it's kind of the first time you see Cece and Winston's dynamic and chemistry unfold.

I think that's the first thing we ever shot. Just the two of us. I think so. I think so. And it's just so funny. You just listing all of these reasons because you're going, there's no way. There's no way he's that good. So are you okay? Yeah. Blink twice. If you don't care. What's happening to you?

Which I think was a... She's been human trafficked. That's right. And Schmidt has benefited. Oh, 100%. Let's see. What better advice could we have given to Nick? Yeah, what advice would you give Nick? I mean, I'm not going to lie. How he handled it at the marathon was actually very good. Yeah.

It was good. It was a lie, but it was, you know. That's okay. It's to save the people's feelings, get out of the situation. Because as Zoe said, I think they're kind of being unreasonable too. They are. Yeah, they're being unreasonable. So you got to just kind of like moonwalk backwards out of it. They're being unreasonable, but he's also like on a tear. Like somehow from one week to the next, he has like amassed like,

like half a dozen yeah college age lovers and i also think that's the reason why they they are behaving the way they are this is a maturity level there if he's dating college college girls and that's they're gonna behave that way you know what i mean love at the drop of a hat yeah he's a sophisticated bartender the janine scene where it was um

Nick and Schmidt lying in bed together with you watching, by the way. And you know that moment, which is definitely was never written and on the pages when Max goes like, like that. And you hear Jake go, don't make that sound. Don't make that sound. Don't do that. And you're like, no, that definitely was not written. That was not part of the script. I thought that it was funny. You know, it was like a joke on top of it.

on top of a joke where they're together and then it's been established like, oh, this is kind of weird. And then Jess comes in and says, is this happening too? Yeah. It's a very farcical. I love when the like farcical elements of new girl come out. Oh, another thing I will say that's unique to David Wayne and I,

Students of cinema will notice this episode had a lot more Steadicam than most episodes of New Girl. He had Steadicam. He just likes to use it a lot. So he wanted everything in motion. So there's a lot of Steadicam on this episode. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And you feel it a lot, too, in moments when... Especially in comedy, it's fun to do that. The scene feels...

And when you improvise, you can feel it too. You can, it feels more natural that way. Um, just like you said, especially, I'm not sure if that he can was used in that scene when they're on the bed. Um, but in that moment there, like you said, Hannah, they're improvising a lot. Yeah. You can just tell that Max is trying to make Jake, uh,

as uncomfortable as possible. And you feel Jake going like, I have to be here because I have to get this advice from you. But stop doing all the extra stuff. That's not what's in this scene. Just do the scene. Don't touch me. Why are you touching? You could just see the whole thing unfold. It really made me laugh to watch him feel that uncomfortable. And that's a shout out to David Wayne again for letting that, letting that, you know, he didn't call cut. Yeah.

Yeah, of course not. Of course he didn't. Of course he didn't. If you're looking for David Wayne in this episode, by the way, at the end, you see him in the marathon, like break through the runners and say, heads up, I'm peeing. That's David Wayne. Heads up, I'm peeing. Yes, that is David Wayne. And on that note, we will go to break. When we come back, we will show you the deleted scene of David Wayne peeing. Oh, boy.

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I know, I love this mug. The mug is great. I had soup in my mug the other day. We have mugs, sweatshirts. You can see us modeling some of these on our Instagram pages. So check it out. Check it out. Some really great artwork. I'm very excited for you guys to...

To check it out. I will say my family is crazy excited about this merch launch because they, you know, they're Indians and they like to rep. They like to rep in the streets hard. And there was never any merch for the show, like the show show.

And so the fact now that there is merch that has our faces on it looking cute and our show, our podcast on it, they're like, we'll take one of everything. And they're just head to toe sporting it down the street. When they go to New York, do they wear shirts that say, I love New York and hats that say, I love New York? Yeah.

If New York was their daughter or their son, they would. It's only in the family. They like to rep it very hard. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. I love it. Yeah. I was wearing a hat out in Nashville and I had to give it away. I had to give it. Did someone find you? A lot of people found me, but I kept negotiating not to give the hat. I was,

I would trade a selfie for the hat. They were like, give me your hat? No, he posted that he would give you the hat if you found him. I don't read. No, me and my friends were out and I was spotted a bunch of times. And if they had seen my Instagram, or sometimes you would hear from across the street, give me the hat. And I would go, damn it. And I would run another direction.

You were not making good on your promise. You lied. I ultimately gave it away. I ultimately ended up having to give it away. I'll post that video on my Instagram. Somebody finally caught up with you. They did. They cornered me. Okay, let's dive back into this episode because here's the big thing that, another big thing that happens in this episode that got me thinking, right? Because there are a lot of roommates, boy-girl roommates, especially now because it's so expensive to live anywhere. So people are roommateing up again.

Do you think it changes the dynamic if you found out that your roommate was thinking about you during an intimate moment with themselves? That's not stuff that should be shared. Keep it a secret. Keep it a secret. Some stuff is meant to be. Because it will change the dynamic. Yeah, don't. That's not stuff to share. It would. And in this episode, which is what I find to be so...

Funny is that the next episode, we don't mention it. It doesn't affect us at all. In fact, Schmidt talks about it right in front of Cece. I know. Right in front of Cece. I was like, is that a normal thing people do? You just told me you think about my best friend sitting there who's, by the way, like hard shipping us right now when you are alone. I mean, very progressive dynamic going on.

Way more mature than me. I'll say that. Shout out to Big Love on HBO. That reminds me of... Sister Wives. Sister Wives, for sure. It is really sweet, though, because you do see at the end just...

being able to like keep a secret unlike all of those weak men in the episode and to actually enjoy the relationship which is then you see that she wasn't mad that they're together she's just mad that her best friend yeah she just wants her best friend to tell her stuff i guess that oh yeah um and that concluded that episode

I love that episode. I really did. Yeah, I do too. And by the way, the other thing, because, you know, I get the stress of where's the bear? Tell us everything. Now it's time for Where's the Bear? Where's the Bear?

Where's the Bear is brought to you by Hyundai. When it comes to your journey, Hyundai is thinking of every mile. Honestly, it becomes stressful for me because I feel like I have this big thing to prove. This one made it so easy because Jake just like shouts bear like 50 times when he's panic lying. He's like bears, magic bears, bears when he's talking about his phone. Where's phone? Thank you.

Thank you, Jake Johnson. Thank you, Jake Johnson, for making it very easy for me this episode. Slam dunk. Found that bear. Amazing.

Classic. Thanks for helping us with our bear hunt, Hyundai. Remember, with Hyundai, it's all about the journey. Whatever your destination, they've got the latest tech to get you there safe and keep your passengers entertained along the way. From shopping to buying to owning, Hyundai has your back. Learn more at HyundaiUSA.com. I also want to thank you for watching.

also will say thank you to everybody that is sliding into my dms and telling me where the bears are in past episodes where i couldn't find them um i'm going to screen grab it and post it because it's very helpful yes i have a team of bear detectives now who listen to the podcast and then help me comb through episodes so appreciate you must have to rifle through some weird messages to find yeah you know what i will say every everybody is more than one thing

Everybody is actually very sweet in the DMs, so I appreciate that. If you have something nasty to say, you take that to my brother, Lamorne, and he will handle the responses. Well, I will filter through them and then DM them to Hannah myself. They will get to you, Hannah. Eventually. Yes. They'll be redacted. We're learning about secrets. Keep those to yourself. Keep those thoughts to yourself. Nobody wants to hear them. Just have it and shut it down.

Any closing remarks on this episode for me? I love David Wayne. This is my first time. I love David Wayne too. He's so great. He will be on our show, folks. We will be doing a personal interview with David Wayne. We will talk about New Girl and some of the other stuff he's got going on. So stay tuned for that. And we're going to go to break and we're going to hear from some sponsors.

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The more you buy, the more you save. Catch these deals before they're gone. Offer ends August 27th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary. Visit Safeway.com for more details. All right, we're back from the break. How's everybody doing? Good. That was a good break, you guys. I had fun on that one. Me too. Me too. It was a really good break. Such a great break. Are you ready for True American?

I am. You know what? I am. I want to do this. Let's jump into it. Some week we should do True Canadian just for Hannah. Yeah, we should. We'll do True Canadian and we'll invite Jonathan and Jesse on and we will test them on their Canadian knowledge. You guys can talk about Tim Hortons and stuff like that. Timmy's. Little Tim bits.

All right. Welcome to True American, where the rules change weekly and you leave more confused than when you showed up. Today, we're playing Two Truths and a Lie, President's Edition. Our producer, Joelle, has culminated a list of interesting facts about five well-known presidents. We have to decipher fact from fiction. All right.

Well, let me just start by saying this. It might be unfair because anybody who knows me knows that I'm an expert on all things presidents. We're going to see if art and life have a reflection here going on because the quiz episode that we did with you wasn't your strong suit. So now let's see if Lamorne is better than Winston. I'm the king. Trivia. All right.

Abe Lincoln. There are three options, and we have to pick which ones are true and which one is a lie. Okay. One was the first president to be photographed at his inauguration. Two was married at the age of 23. Or three was a captain in the Blackhawk War. Is that like Blackhawk down? I'm going to say the lie.

I'm going to say the lie is, was a captain in the Blackhawk war. I've never heard of the black, never heard of it. Yeah. I've heard of marriage and a photographs. So I agree with you. Yeah.

He was married at 33. 33. He was a young player. He was a young player. Black Hawk War, I've never heard of. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. When your name is Abe Lincoln, your name is Abe Lincoln, you're going to wait to get married, okay? You're in your young 20s. You're out here. Abraham would have got married at 23, but Abe? Yeah, Abe. That's 33. Come on. He's holding out. Come on now. All right. Okay. George Washington.

Okay, is it A, head, wood, and teeth, B, he was born in Virginia, C,

began inheriting enslaved people at 11 years old. I'm going to go with B, was born in Virginia. I know George Washington had enslaved people, and I know he had wooden teeth. I know he lived in Virginia, but I don't know if he was born in Virginia. I don't think he was born in Virginia. I want to say he was born in Springfield, Illinois. In West Virginia. Yeah.

Okay, so we're saying that he wasn't born in Virginia. His false teeth were made from the teeth of the people he enslaved. What? What? Is that true? No.

That's true facts. They're in a museum. You can see them. They're pretty horrifying. That's true facts. They're not wooden? No, I think that was his publicist put that out there, Zoe, and we believed it. I believed the wooden teeth? Whoa, do we have to fact check this one? Oh my God. I am burning my five dollars. That is like...

I mean, he said, I'm going to free the slaves, but I'm going to keep their teeth so I can have. Oh, my God.

Can we move on to JFK? I'm over George. I'm over George, too. It's really hard with these people. I feel like we're back in the sad song, True American. I know. Now I feel depressed. Tears from heaven. I'm back in there. I'm back in that mindset and that vibe. All right, JFK. Go for it, Lamar. John F. Kennedy. A. Youngest president ever elected.

B, second oldest of nine children, or C, graduated from Yale? I think C is a lot. You think it's C? What about you? I thought he was... I can't believe of nine children. That just seems... My grandma had nine kids. Yeah, he was from a Catholic, like Irish Catholic family. They were doing it. They had a lot of kids. They were doing it. And he was younger than Obama, correct? Right? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know. All right.

All right, so if I can convince me, he never went to Yale. He went to Howard. That's right. He went to Howard. He went to Harvard and Princeton. Look at you, Zoe. Oh, wow. That's what I thought he went to Harvard. You know those Kennedys. All right, wrap it up. I mean. I feel like Theodore Mullins should do Theodore Roosevelt. Do another one. Yeah, come on, Theodore K. Mullins. And do it like Theodore. The Theodore Roosevelt. Hey, father of the modern army.

B, wrote 35 books. And C, first U.S. president to win a Nobel Peace Prize. I don't think he won a Nobel Peace Prize. I don't think so either. Teddy didn't win a prize. I'm going to say B, wrote 35 books. You think that's a lie? You know. You wrote 36? 36.

No, I'm going to say it was C. I'm going to say it was C. You're right. I don't think he won that prize. All right. We don't think he won the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah. Oh, he's the father of the modern Navy? Oh, yeah.

Not the modern army. You slick. That one I totally believe because Theodore Roosevelt was like the men's man president. I'm actually surprised he won the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah, I am too. I feel like he was always hunting bears. Bear? Um,

Bears. I'm like that little kid in Squirrel. Squirrel's like the dog in Up. That's me right now with bears. I want to say something about us, you guys, right now. Because playing that game, you would think...

We would each pick a different answer and see who won to get it right. But it shows we operate as a team. We all agreed on our answer. We were going to win or lose together. Can I say I'm proud to be on a team with you two? I feel the same way. I am so proud, you guys. We did it. We did it. We did it this time. No secrets here. We played it. We're on the same team. We did it.

But keep appropriate secrets, those nighttime thoughts to yourself. I don't have nighttime thoughts. I don't. I go to sleep. My grandma always said the nighttime is when the devil comes out. I go to bed. Is that what she said? I don't think so. My grandma had nine kids. That's right. But she locked the door and said, I'm done. Thank you. Yeah. She's like, bye guys.

Oh, Theodore K. Mullins has a request. What is it, Theodore K. Mullins? Hey, guys, I just want you to remember something. My ancestors just tapped into my DNA and they said that we're going to be doing more Q&As down the line. Are we? Yeah, both as hosts and with some of our guests.

And we also have some follow-up to that. If you have a question for us, feel free to send us an email. That's new to me because I'm from the olden days. Also send us a voice memo. Yeah. Welcome to our show podcast at gmail.com. That's welcome to our show podcast at gmail.com. Please list the person or persons the message is for in the subject line.

We look forward to hearing from you. Told Harpo to beat me. Okay. Thank you, Theodore. Thank you, Theodore. We will play your voice memos on the show. That's right. On the show. As long as it's not weird, don't get weird. If they're weird, I will play them for my friends and family. Okay, guys. It was great to see you. Great to see you guys. But we have to go. Folks, we love you. See you next week. See you next week.

Yes. We have a merch line out, right? We have a merch line out, right? Yeah. Links in all our bios, I think. Yeah, there we go. Okay. Yeah. Link in bio. Bye. You've been listening to Welcome to Our Show, a New Girl Recap podcast. Welcome to Our Show is a production of iHeartRadio, hosted by Zooey Deschanel, Lamorne Morris, and Hannah Simone. Our executive producer is Joelle Monique. I'm your host, Joelle Monique.

Our engineer and editor is Daniel Goodman. The Welcome to Our Show theme song was written by Zooey Deschanel, performed and produced by Zooey Deschanel and Pierre Derrida. Follow us on Instagram at WelcomeToOurShowPod. If you have a question you'd like us to answer, you can email us at WelcomeToOurShowPodcast at gmail.com. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share far and wide. Thanks for listening. We'll hear you next week. Welcome to our show.

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