Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!
52:28 Share

Empowered women empower women. And today we've got an empowered woman who's going to empower you on the show. You've heard her say, you've got a deal on ABC's hit show Shark Tank for 16 seasons. Barbara Corcoran is an Emmy award-winning shark and executive producer on the show. She's the founder of the Corcoran Group and her journey to this moment

we're all sharing together right now is nothing short of remarkable. Come to Maine, New York. Thanks for having me in my town. Yes. Good to be here. Honored to be in your town. It's my town. This is your town. This is your town. I am so excited for this conversation. Barbara Corcoran, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

You are such a badass. You are such a badass. I don't think of myself as a badass. You're a business icon, you're a business legend. Walking arm in arm with you down the streets of New York City just felt like this, it's a moment I'll never forget.

I think I'm successfully insecure. That's such a cool perspective. I actually started working on a tape that told me I didn't deserve to be there. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't being heard. Why did I waste my time coming? I could be doing something better. A million excuses why I made a mistake in putting myself out. But then I started changing that tape little by little, declaring war on it in a way. You went to war with those thoughts in your head.

You proposed to both of your husbands. I should have thought about it. So you knew, you just knew. I knew, you know, it's something about, again, it's your intuition. You say one of the secrets to the success of your marriage, you guys have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. That is a secret. For decades. Can you talk about this? Because maybe a bunch of us are getting it wrong right now. I have to invite him into my bedroom. And it's like, it's his birthday.

He knows it's like a sure thing. Yeah, and I like it because it's a sure thing. Not sure, S-U-R-E, but S-H-O-R-T. Oh my gosh. Can you share a little bit about the boyfriend turned business partner who then really liked your secretary? He had believed in me. He was a businessman older than me and he knew what he was doing.

And I felt like I would be nothing without him. He's your business partner. You're living together. I mean, your whole life is immersed with each other. And then he says, "I'm now going to be with the secretary." As I was leaving, he said to me, "You know, you'll never succeed without me." You had a landlord that thought you were a prostitute. Yes. And then you end up turning that around. It's one of my biggest accounts, actually.

Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life.

All I want you to do is click on the follow or subscribe button on the app that you're listening or watching this episode on. I love your support. It's incredible to see your comments and how many people you're sharing these episodes with. I'm so grateful to be here for you, and I'm so excited to go on this journey with you. So thank you so much for subscribing and following The Jamie Crenn Lima Show. It means so much to me.

Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me.

If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekearnlima.com or in the link in the show notes. Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

Empowered women empower women. And today we've got an empowered woman who's going to empower you on the show. You've heard her say, you've got a deal on ABC's hit show Shark Tank for 16.

seasons. Barbara Corcoran is an Emmy Award-winning shark and executive producer on the show. She's the founder of The Corcoran Group, and her journey to this moment we're all sharing together right now is nothing short of remarkable. Barbara is one of 10 kids raised in a two-bedroom home. She struggled with dyslexia, got straight Ds in school, and had 20 jobs by the time she turned 23. She's a

She then borrowed $1,000 and quit her job as a waitress to start a small real estate company in New York City. She grew the Corcoran Group into the largest and best-known brand in the brokerage business, and Barbara became one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country. From a $1,000 loan to a billion-dollar business, and now she's invested in more than 100 businesses to date.

She's also so sharp, quick-witted, and so, so funny. Plus, there's something she did to me behind the scenes on Shark Tank that I'm going to share with you that made my jaw hit the floor and made my soul explode.

explode like a giant heart emoji. I am so excited for this conversation. Barbara Corcoran, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show. I've been looking forward to it so much. Thank you so much. I'm so excited and I just love you and thank you for being here. This show is going to be, I already know it, such a blessing and so inspiring to so many people. So I want to just right off the top ask you that so many of us get underestimated

Or we underestimate ourselves. And you and your journey have gone from like underestimated to unstoppable in so many areas of life and in your business. And what would you say to the person who's watching us or listening to us right now who maybe is feeling underestimated or they're underestimating themselves?

I think it's very natural to feel underestimated because who you have is what you had so far. And so it takes a bit of dreaming and commitment to go from where you are to where you want to go.

So you feel to yourself, I think most damaging that you're, to use your phrase, not worthy or not going to be able to do it, or I just don't have what it's going to take, or I don't deserve it or all these things. But it takes, I think, the beginning of changing the tape in your head. I had to consciously do that growing up as a woman, um,

It probably wasn't until I was 30 years old, I already had my business seven years by then, that I actually started working on a tape that told me I didn't deserve to be there. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't being heard. Why did I waste my time coming? I could be doing something better. A million excuses why I made a mistake in putting myself out.

But then I started changing that tape little by little, declaring war on it in a way. And it took me a number of years to really change it. And my tape that I listen to now are tapes that shore me up. Things like, you're incredible. You're beautiful. You're brilliant. You're incredible. This guy's really impressed by you. What else?

What else can you do? So it's a fooling yourself of sorts, but you fool yourself enough times repeatedly and you start to fall for it yourself. And if you're falling for it, you're guaranteed that the next guy is falling for it. Because people will judge you less harshly than you think they're going to judge you. There's a self-consciousness that doesn't need to be paid attention to, really. It just also gets in the way, what are they thinking of me? But the biggest battle is, what do I think of myself? Yeah.

I love that. You said you went to war with those thoughts in your head. And did you just create your own new tape that played? So anytime you would hear that old tape trying to play, you would like be like, Oh, not today. And like intentionally. Yeah, I would intentionally do it to wipe out the noise in my head because you can't listen to your old self telling you who you're really supposed to be when you're looking for your new self. So I think it's important

to have that tape going in your head and to fight against it. So you need to have a more familiar, more friendly tape, whatever, however short it is, less damaging tape, I would say. Yeah. I love that though. Cause it's like, you have the power to create your own tape. Like, right. You're the musician. So, so many people, uh,

It's like right now, 80% of women don't believe they're enough. 75% of executive women deal with imposter syndrome. And that comes from that tape a lot of times that we're... But also I have a theory on imposter syndrome. I have never met a worthwhile person who didn't have imposter syndrome. I think the more you're self-conscious about maybe, are you the real deal? Are you faking it? How did I really get here? And you're answering to your insecurities as an individual.

I think that pushes you ahead in a way. What it does for me, it makes me over-prepare. It makes me dead serious about what I have to do. Even if I've done it a hundred times before, I think to myself, oh my God, I might not, like preparing for this today, I was thinking, oh God, what is she going to talk about? What do I do? And I had clear thoughts in my head of what I wanted to cover. Yes.

And that comes from insecurity. If I was secure, I'd just walk into your set and say, hey, how are you doing? What are your questions? But I'll do a better job because of the insecurity. So I'm all for insecurity. I think I'm successfully insecure, but definitely insecure. And I hope to be for the rest of my career. That's such a cool perspective. And I think sometimes people know they're insecure. So then they think somehow I'm not qualified to do what Barbara's done. I'm insecure. They should only know. Yeah.

Do you deal with insecurity a lot, but you just see it as a strength? I deal with it all the time because I'm human and it's a human condition. But I have to say, because of the changing of the tape in my head, it's helped me tremendously to be...

Less insecure. Yeah. I will usually approach any situation thinking, well, I've done it a hundred times. I've prepared really well. I'm dealing with a nice person. I'm looking good. My makeup's right. So all the supports that you need to get your self-confidence, they might sound trivial, but they all add up.

But then when I sit in the seat, I'm about as good as I can get to go. Then I have a confidence that probably it's going to go okay because I prepared so well. Yeah. I'm so grateful you're sharing this right now because you already know this too. You are such a badass. You are such a badass. I don't think of myself as a badass. You're a business icon. You're a business legend. Walking arm in arm with you down the streets of New York City just felt like this –

It's a moment I'll never forget. And so what I appreciate so much is you're also sharing things that allow everyone else watching us and listening to us right now to go, oh, wow, okay. So Barbara feels the way I feel sometimes, and maybe my dreams are possible too. Of course. But Jamie, I have to make a confession here. When I walk down the street, Armin, I'm with you, I have one thought. I wonder if I could sell her an apartment. Oh.

It's so in you. I'm not even a broker anymore. There's so much in me. Oh, my gosh. I bet you would buy a good one. I'd make a lot of money. That's amazing. But I didn't say that to you. I said, nice to see you. That is amazing. I am on the topic of apartments. Oh, my gosh. Just, you know...

Reading your books and just learning about you firsthand, there are so many skills and instincts that you have. Success leaves clues, right? That famous thing, success leaves clues. I am so excited to dive into some of these things because I feel like these lessons are

You've learned on all of our behalves can really help us in so many ways in all areas of life, whether it's personal life or business. And I want to ask you, especially because, oh my gosh, people talk about now the glass ceiling and now the challenges, you know, being a woman in business, all of that.

when your entire journey, I mean, do you think that being underestimated can actually, that you can use being underestimated to your advantage? Of course. Listen, when I started, my business was a man's world.

All the businesses were owned by men, they were worked by women. There was no woman in sight. So I felt initially that I had some disadvantage. Was not the case. I was invisible. There's a great power to being invisible and coming up from the rear and taking over. And that's exactly what I did. I was able to steal my competitors, which are much bigger than me, their positions in the market because I stole the limelight from them and they weren't getting media coverage. That's really what I used to build my business.

But certainly, being invisible is a wonderful, wonderful advantage. I can't say I ever thought of myself in business as a woman. I don't think there was a day I thought, oh, God, I'm a woman. It's a disadvantage. I'm a woman, whatever. I just thought of myself as a competitor. If I sat next to a man who owned the biggest firm in town and I was a nobody and he was treating me as a nobody, I would just say quietly to myself, not very nice,

Wait till you see what I'm going to do to you. I would dwell on it and really plot how I was going to get that guy because he showed me no respect and I wanted to get his respect. Why did I care? I'm not even sure why. I guess it was because I was insecure again.

But I needed to win the respect, and there was only one way to win the respect, and that was not by saying something clever or wearing the most beautiful suit or whatever. It was about being smarter and more aggressive than him. And so I made it my point to be smarter and a lot more aggressive than him to win the day. And I think that's important for a lot of women. A lot of women that I deal with at Shark Tank very often will say, what about me being a girl?

Forget about the fact you're a girl, that you're a woman. Forget about it. Just think of yourself as a competitor. Just think of yourself that way. And it becomes part of you. I think of myself almost like an animal. I would compete for things I didn't even want, which is really sick. I needed to shrink. But I got that whole thing going in me really good. When you think about your success, do you think...

that smarts or grit played a bigger role? Certainly grit. I mean, you need to have great judgment in business. You need to have a gut instinct. You have to need to, you need a street smarts, not a book smart, kind of a headset. So you can intrinsically feel the,

this is the right move and trust your intuition that you're making the right move. And you'd be wrong some of the time, but you have to be right most of the time. So I think I learned to do that. Within business, I believe that grit is far more important. And grit takes a lot of forms that are essential in business. The best grit in the world is when you knock down a punch in your gut and you stand back up. That takes a lot of grit. And certainly that can be part of life as well. But I've had personally unusually easy life

I'm very thankful for. But I think with your personal life, I think smarts is more important. And it isn't just the smarts of having answers, which I used to think I had for any situation, but it's the smarts of listening, the smarts of thinking you don't have the answers, the smarts of being curious enough to see if you open this door what's going to happen. You don't always have to have that in business. But in personal life, if you want to develop yourself and be a better person, I think you have to be smart about how you're living. And I think...

For me, it's more holding back than giving forward. And in business, it's more blasting through doors and opening up and having a lot more grit about what I do, a sense of what I have to hustle out of the situation. What role does your intuition play?

in business, also in your personal life as well, friendships, decisions. It's everything. What is intuition? I don't really know, but in my mind, I think intuition is a summation of everything you've learned to date. It just gets inside you and blends and mixes up and stuff. So I think if you're in a situation, I've been in many situations where I've challenged my gut

Like I can't really logically see what's wrong with this person or the situation and everything sounds right. And I go for it, particularly on Shark Tank. Boy, have I learned to ignore that. Now I ignore the businesses and just look at the individual. And if my gut says I trust the person and they're a winner, I go with it. Even if I can't explain why. And when my gut says something's wrong here, I trust it and I don't go with it.

Because you really have to learn to trust your gut. If you're half smart, you're learning as you go. So your gut tomorrow is going to be better than your gut today. And there's no sense in challenging whatsoever, I don't think. I think a lot of people second guess it. Oh, terrible. You even know when your SAT is not to second guess. That's true. It's usually wrong.

Well, so many people refer to you as a strong woman. And when I think of a strong woman, you proposed to both of your husbands. I should have thought about it. Can you tell me about that? Sure. I proposed to my first husband who was, when I was 30, he was seven years younger than me, but he looked older than me. That kind of counted a little bit.

But we were dating probably two weeks when I said, what's your intention? I was close to 30. I wanted to be married by 30. I had that little deadline. He said, what do you mean? We just dated. I said, you have a week to decide. Are we going to get married or not? I'd like to marry you. And the week went by. He was very nervous the whole week. But on the seventh day, he said, okay, let's get married. That lasted seven years. The lesson in that is think about it.

Wow. Maybe being aggressive wasn't so good. Now with my second husband. Yeah. Of course, I just flat out proposed to him right away because I knew he was the love of my life and we were going to have a great marriage. We've been married close to 30 years. Yeah. So Bill. Bill. So you knew, you just knew. I knew, you know, it's something about, again, it's your intuition.

Both husbands. Well, I was wrong on the first one. He's a lovely man, and we had a happy six out of seven years, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. But it's something about the way someone holds your hand immediately. You read so—me, anyway. I read so much into that hand as to whether I trust that person. And I felt like I was going to be protected forever with both of my husbands. Who knew I had to do the protecting? Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

You're a great protector, though. I am. No, you are. You're great. Don't mess with my people. Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, like, I walked on the set of Shark Tank and I didn't know what to expect. You know, I had no idea. I'll get into Shark Tank later. You didn't look it. You looked like you were right at home. The minute you sit in that seat, you looked like you were at home.

Well, I knew I'd put in the reps. I knew I'd been through every phase of whatever entrepreneur is going to walk through that door. I know I've lived what they're going through wherever they're at in their business. And also, I'm so respectful that it's your show. It's the Shark Show and the team there, and I'm walking onto the set. And I have to say, you were the biggest...

surprise and blessing in the way. How nice of you. I felt like you were the protector of me in a way. Well, you're a woman. I had a woman on my team. Yes, yes. And you just, oh my gosh, came right up to me. And when you handed me

that list of questions that helped you 16 seasons ago when you started. You're like, you know, if these can help you in any way, cheat, cheat, because you got to hop in, you got to get in there. And I was like, just looking at you. And I remember those words just kept going through my head, empowered women, empower women. And we don't always see that. And I just felt like you were this

Yeah, like you wanted me to win, and that felt so good. So thank you for that. That is my actually natural secret sauce, and it wasn't just because you were a guest on the set, but I think what I do well, particularly with the people that care to follow me in life in whatever capacity, working, friendship, whatever, I think I –

do very well in empowering people because I really see the best in them. When you sat on that seat, I said, she's at home. She's pretty. She's confident. She's had enormous success. She's going to be a winner. I knew that right away. So how much empowering does that take? But you also see people in life who don't have all that going for them, but I could see the light in them. I know what they do well. I know how to bring it out. That is my secret sauce in building businesses, no doubt.

Yeah. And it's been fun, you know, as a viewer, so many people watching us right now are listening will relate to this. It's fun to watch you see that light in people. I remember the pork belly pig barbecue sauce. Oh, him. And you saw that light in him. And yes, he resembled a really cute pig, but also you saw like that.

And he got on board with it, you know, and that was fun to see. And yeah, so you're, that's such a. So I called him a pig. That was an easy season. And my producer wouldn't air it. He said, you don't call people a pig on set. I said, he likes it. He likes looking like a pig and he needs it for his brand. I had him write a letter to my producer and say, please let that comment stand. I love looking like a pig. And it went on air and it went on air and he's very trim. And it was more just, his face was so sweet, like a baby pig, baby pig. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I totally got it. And I saw it right when you said it. I'm like, I see that. I get that. I see the brand. I see it, just all of it. And so, yeah, you do see the light in people. You know, on the topic of husbands, with your husband, Bill, now, you say one of the secrets to the success of your marriage, you guys have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. That is a secret. For decades. Can you talk about this? Because maybe a bunch of us are getting it wrong right now.

Well, I think there's something to be said about your own private space. Yes. I lead a very busy life. I have a huge family that I'm always entertaining. I have very sincere, active friends. And so what I need more than anything else is a respite. And my husband is not relaxing. Yeah.

He has more ideas on his head that make no sense. And for me to come up with the energy at the end of the day to listen to him and to nod and to contribute to the conversation, I run a little short.

Better I go to my room and I have an hour to myself. If I go to the living room, my husband follows me. I go to my bedroom, he doesn't dare come in. I have to invite him into my bedroom and I like it that way. He's never invited me back because he knows I'll never come into his bedroom. But I have to invite him into my bedroom. And it's like, it's his birthday. How old are you, Bill? Come on. Well, is it?

Yeah. Can you talk about that? Because does it make it like, you know... Makes sex better? No. But he thinks it does. Ah. Because he knows it's like a short thing. Yeah. And I like it because it's a short thing. Not sure S-U-R-E, but S-H-O-R-T. Oh my gosh. And I saw online that you dressed as Taylor Swift and him as...

Travis Kelsey. So when you guys invite each other, so I thought he invited you to his room too. One Way Street, remember. It's a one-way street. One Way Street, yeah. Okay. Has he ever tried to invite you? Yes, and I said, no, thank you. That's why he hasn't come back. He hasn't come back. And so he waits for the invitation. Yes, he does. It's less hurtful. And then is it like, do you guys do like special nights or like, was the Taylor Swift thing one of those invitations? No, I'm afraid it wasn't. Me looking like sexy Taylor Swift.

Bill had no idea who she was. He wouldn't be turned on for it. He thought it was kind of odd, but I'll play along with you. No, my idea of a special night with my husband at this point is a good game of Scrabble. He'll often say to me, S or S? And I'll say, Scrabble, because the first S means sex. And I'll say, no, Scrabble. And I love beating him at Scrabble, and he loves beating me at Scrabble. And that's a great night, that and a glass of wine for me. It makes a great night. That's a great night. Because I go to my bedroom. Because it's her bedroom. Yeah.

That's like the best night with a friend too, Scrabble and wine. Yes. Did you play Scrabble? Yeah. I could beat you, I'm sure. I bet you could beat me. I know all the little cheat words, you know? I bet you do. I'm not like sharp on it. I've played with my husband and I'm telling you he cheats at Scrabble. Oh, who wants it now? I know. And then he'll debate and I'm just like, okay, uh-uh. But I love Scrabble and I love wine. So... There you go. I might knock on your bedroom door one night and see. Okay. Okay.

So many incredible, relatable things that you've gone through that I feel like how you've handled them are so inspiring. And can you share a little bit about the boyfriend turned business partner who then really liked your secretary? There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you.

In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you.

In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness.

Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth.

Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy.

Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One-on-One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you.

From my soul to yours. And I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment.

Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together.

And now more of this incredible conversation together. Can you share a little bit about the boyfriend turned business partner who then really liked your secretary? Oh, he definitely liked Tina. No doubt about it. Yeah. Well, I had been in partnership with my boyfriend for about seven years.

When he came home one night, because I was watching his three children, I was Mrs. Mom, sort of. But I came from a family of 10 kids. That was nothing to me. It was quite normal. And he came home one night when I was making the pasta, and he said, I have something serious to discuss. I'm going to marry your secretary. And I immediately said, Tina the bitch, who was perfectly fine the day before, but my, my, her, you know. And he said, yes, but take your time moving out. And I took about a minute, grabbed my toothbrush, and was out of there.

That for me was a very tumultuous time, a negative time, a time when I questioned my very being because after all, he had found me in my hometown. After all, he had loaned me the $1,000 to start my business. He had believed in me. He was a businessman older than me and he knew what he was doing. And I felt like I would be nothing without him. How I ever concluded that, I have never...

I've never even wondered really how I got there, but there I was nonetheless. And then Tina was 10 years younger than me, had long blonde hair, was much prettier than me. That didn't help at all. And when they moved into my office together and they started giggling and holding hands and I had to wash that through the glass, well, I just thought my heart would break in 100 pieces.

But I stayed with it for a good year. And then finally, one day, on a Friday morning, I walked in and said, Ray, we're ending the business today. We have 14 people. We're chopping them in half. You pick the first one. I'll pick the second. We'll go right down the line. It probably took us eight minutes to divide the company. He was in shock. And in shock, as I was leaving, he said to me,

you know, you'll never succeed without me. And that was the gift of a lifetime that burned in my soul and stomach like nothing I had ever heard in my life. And I knew as sure as I knew anything that I would never fail. I just knew I would never fail. I thought I would rather die than let him not succeed. So if I die, I'm dead. So what are you going to talk about? You know, but while I'm alive, I was never going to let him see me not succeed because I was angry. Probably

Yeah.

That was the founding of the Corcoran Group, and I named it the Corcoran Group because I knew I was going to need every ounce of my seven people's energy as a group to bring us through. I had so little resources. The odds were against me, but they were phenomenal, my people.

They band together. They supported me. I supported them. And we became a powerhouse, like a company of girls that took over the Boys Network, you know? It took a while. It took me close to 15 years. But in 15 years, I realized he was definitely wrong. I did succeed with Adam when I sold my business for all that cash of $66 million. So I...

I've often thought, "Thank God I got that insult," because I don't even know if I would have really made it through all the tough times, the obstacles you have to overcome in any business.

If he hadn't given me that insult, really, isn't that weird? It's like, I need a good psychiatrist. Why do I need an insult to get going? Well, you know, I think about when you, what you just shared, you said, you know, before that insult had happened and, you know, he ends things, he's, he's your business partner. You're living together. I mean, your whole life is immersed with each other. And then he says, I'm now going to be with...

But they fell in love. You know, looking back in hindsight, so they fell in love. Of course that was going to happen. Yeah. They probably didn't plan it that way. Well, when you said, when you shared just now, you felt like you were nothing without him. I really did. I think so many people relate to that because they feel that way about their current partner or an ex.

or something like that. When you got to that moment, Barbara, where you made that decision that you're going to say no more, we're going to split the business, we're going to part ways, how did you get...

How did you get to that moment? Because a lot of people don't get to that moment. They stay in something where they know like, oh, this relationship isn't good for me, or I'm not happy, or somebody's not... Maybe it's a business partnership. This person isn't respecting me, or a friendship. This person doesn't love me or treat me like a friend the way I treat them. There's a lot of people that have this fear of I'm nothing without them, and they stay in it. How do you think...

that you got to that place where you made that decision, I'm going to, I'm going to part ways. Well, probably not the best motivation, but I think anger got me to the decision because I always saw them having fun and having each other and planning the wedding. They were married very quickly. So I guess it was meant to be. And I had nobody. That's how I felt. I think I got tired of being a victim. I don't think I'm a type of personality that plays a victim.

But I suddenly recognized the victim in me that I was thinking, oh, poor me, that was so unfair. And I think I stopped looking for the excuses not to leave. Mm.

It was like I felt that maybe he was right. I couldn't do it without him. Maybe I didn't have enough finances, which I definitely didn't. Maybe I owed too much money, which I definitely did. All the real reasons you don't do things, they're all real. The left brain was my brain thinking. And I knew it was just should I should wait it out and see where it goes.

But then I just got tired of it. I got impatient. And you know what? Those are the best decisions, I think. The best decisions are the ones where you do it from an emotional place of power. Mm-hmm.

And I think I just got powerful in that moment. If I had waited until the following Monday, I'm not sure I would have done it. But I felt able, like, we're going to do it. And when I gathered my seven people in the little foyer that we had, they said, yes, guess what? On Monday we're moving. Where are we going? It's a surprise. I'll never forget that. And they were like, what? So we made it a good thing. And by Monday we were opening a new space and up in business. I can't say it was easy.

to get going again when I thought I had a certain stride in the old company. But I kept thinking to myself, it's mine. It's mine. It's not 51% raise. It's mine. The 51% was never a problem until I knew I'd get 100%. And then it was a big problem. I was happy to leave it behind. Yeah. When you said those words to you, you'll never succeed without me.

What was that feeling like? Like, do you remember where you felt it or what it felt like? Nausea. Nausea in my stomach that it's probably true. That was the bad part. That I was, he was probably right.

And then right after that, kicking in, I wouldn't say the word effort. You can't. That's what I said, you know? Yeah. And then the gumption came up in your chest. You don't know what you're capable of until you're put against a wall. None of us do. You know, you don't know really how you're going to feel and how you're going to respond and what you're going to do until you're tested. Your medals tested, shoved up against a wall, you know? It brings out good things in people.

You know, you, in that parting of ways, you talk about a lesson about always give the other person the bigger piece. Oh, yes, from my mom. Can you share a little bit about that? It was such a good... When we were kids, we would have meals at our table every night at six o'clock. My mother was a cook, not a very good one, but she always got us fed. Think of feeding 10 kids breakfast, dinner, and we had lunch at school, of course.

but my mother would make her best dish, which sounds silly, was veal parmesan, and she'd have the pieces of veal under red sauce with little pieces of cheese on top. So when she put the platter on the table, which had 12 pieces in it, you only had a split second to decide which was the bigger piece. You were guessing with your fork. You wanted to stab the one where you got the most. You know, it was normal in a big family with not a lot to eat, so...

So we would go, and just as you stabbed him, if you were first, my mother would say, Barbara, or for your brother the bigger piece. Okay, Joanne.

We hated it growing up. But what do you think I said to Ray on that Friday morning? Not take the bigger piece, but you go first. You pick the best salespeople. Because my mother would always tell us after we gave away the veal or the hamburger or whatever it was, doesn't it taste better? Doesn't it really taste better? And we would chew a smaller piece and think, yeah, it tastes better. Like you got a reward right here on earth. So she instilled that in us. And so...

I always try to do that. You feel great about yourself, especially if somebody's doing you wrong. You just be sweet and turn and help them out. You feel like a million bucks. Easiest way to get happy.

I thought it was so genius because you, I know you talk about in your book, Shark Tales, you talk about how you knew that he knew there was one salesperson that produced more than everyone. And he took her. And he took her. You knew you'd take her, but that wasn't actually what you needed. You needed the person who had the skill set to help you build next. That's true.

Yeah. And so it was so smart and strategic because you gave him the bigger piece by saying you pick first. Then he takes the top producer. He thinks he won. You get who you want. And then from there, it goes your way. He scratched his head wondering why I picked Esther as my first pick. She was a middle rung producer. It wasn't a superstar. I had other people that were producing a lot more than her.

But in Esther, I found my opposite. She was great at systems. She was left brain all the way. Great at taxes. Great at legal. Great at the banks getting financing for me. She was great at everything I had no patience for. And I was great at the things that she wasn't good at. You know, marketing. I was super at that.

PRs all the way, advertising, I was great. Recruiting people, I knew how to do. I knew all the stuff that she wouldn't touch if I forced her to. So together we were able to build that business because she was strong as a container and I was a strong expander. And we shot that business up, but I couldn't have done it without Esther. I was smart to pick Esther first. When I had Esther in my camp right away, I thought, well, now I have a shot.

I have a shot. Yeah. Yeah. And then you left it in a way where he thought he won. Oh, he won. Which probably then made it an easier transition. Short term, he won. I had the long term, the long term game plan. Yeah. And just how creative you were and resourceful and all of that. You had a landlord that thought you were a prostitute. Yes. And then you end up turning that around. Can you share? One of my biggest accounts, actually, I was only in business about six months ago.

I didn't have an office, so I was meeting people in my living room on East 86th Street in an apartment house I shared with my two roommates. During the day, a lot of men would come up because I had a great account that I went for and got, which was a Citibank account. Every new trainee was sent to me, which was a goldmine, really, for a new kid in business. And so my super saw me entertaining men all day long. I'd see men come up, and then I'd leave a half hour later with the man.

And he reported me as a prostitute. So I came home one night to eviction notice, and I read it. It didn't say you're for prostitution. But I realized I couldn't think. I paid the rent. We were quiet. We were neat. I went through the boxes. And then I realized he probably thinks I'm doing something illegal. And Mr. O'Rourke said, we think you're a prostitute.

But what was fortunate about that visit, I went to visit my landlord. I did not want to be evicted. And I told him, you think I'm a prostitute? Why, I almost was a nun. He was Catholic. I really wasn't almost a nun, but I told him that to make him.

secure about me but I told him how much rent I was getting for his major competitor three blocks away because I was smart enough to build a wall between the living room and the the the L of the living room and the living room calling it a two-bedroom versus a one-bedroom I told him I was getting $30 more a month

His eyes lit up and I got his whole building, his listings of like 35 apartments to rent. So it went from being accused of a prostitute, almost getting convicted, evicted, and to him wanting more money, the same God that so many people follow. Can you get me more money too? And that's exactly what I did. And that was my first real account.

It was so brilliant because there's people out there too that think like- It's also lucky, I must say. A little bit of luck helps there. I think like so many people think maybe they watch Shark Tank or they whatever, and they're like, well, I don't have, I haven't created a new product, but sometimes you can just improve on a product as well and be so strategic. Generally the best businesses, I think. Yeah. And you taking even so many of the one bedrooms, adding a wall,

And now it's a one bedroom plus den. Now it's common in New York City. Yeah. They call it a junior four. Legally, they weren't allowed to call it two bedrooms anymore, but it's the same configuration. It's no longer a one bedroom. It's a junior four. That's amazing. It's amazing. And so you made something special and unique out of something that was there just by making a slight tweak to it. Of course. Yeah. Everybody wanted more space in New York. You don't get any. Ooh, an extra space. Ooh.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's like I think about if I were shopping for apartments looking for a one-bedroom, but then you have the same one-bedroom floor plan. You put a slight wall in there, and this particular ad says one-bedroom plus den. It's the same price. My ad said one-bedroom plus den. Yeah. Everybody called me. Yeah. Why would you get a one-bedroom for $320 when you get this one-bedroom den for $320 also? Yes. Ah.

Yes. It was like a brilliant lesson, like a brilliant business lesson. I used it the rest of my life in marketing and trying to make anything that was not saleable look saleable. Anything that had obvious flaws to someone's eyes, right?

to make those same flaws look like an asset. I think you could do that with any product in life, any situation in life. If you just stop and really think about it, what do they want to hear? What do they want to see? What do they want to do? What do they want to have confidence in? And if you actually can slip yourself to the other guy's shoes, you could usually think very smartly about what you should deliver. And if you can't think of it,

I have used my staff my whole life, a generation of ideas. I do now. I don't think I have really anything original left in me. I don't know if I've done an original idea in years, but my staff, whether it be the real estate staff, the media staff, they always generate great ideas. And as long as you have people popping them out, you can always think of something. Always. What you just said about understanding what the other person wants, I understand, like,

It's so sales. Yeah. Well, and, and it makes me think of no better example than, uh, when you say you out trumped Trump. Oh yes. So you were putting out the, um, the Corcoran report and then, and you were doing the top 10, uh, condos for sale. And that was by the way, so innovative, right? To, to be building your business. Like, well, you know what? I'm going to put out a report.

So now here's the Corcoran report. We're going to put it out there. We're going to show everyone the top 10 condos, you know, in all of Manhattan. And now all of a sudden that's a thing that you created. Now it exists. And then, and then Trump wasn't so happy that he, his condos weren't in it. No, not at all. Do you know, my mother had taught me something very contrary. Yeah.

That if you really are nice, if you wait your turn, the meek will inherit the earth. That was kind of like a Catholic thing, you know? I found in New York City it wasn't that way at all. If you were meek, people ripped you off. They did whatever they wanted to do to your business. You had to be tough. But when I published the Corcoran Report, I learned another lesson on my own. It's not what you are, but how you appear.

I took 11 sales, added them up, made an average sale, and called it the New York City average sale price on 11 sales. That's preposterous. It wasn't like I was smart enough to even know what I was doing. And when I printed it up and sent it to a whole bunch of New York reporters at the New York Times, I never got a call. But two weeks later, the headline was...

New York City prices hit all time low. That was the power of the Corker Report. I became a source in New York City. Anyone who wanted any numbers on real estate prior to the internet, there were no numbers out there, called me first or only called me. If you loved today's episode, my only ask is that you please click the follow or subscribe button for this show on your app and give it a rating or review and then share this episode with everyone you believe in.

Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. Thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true.

You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need healing.

Blossom what you choose. Journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self-talk?

Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life.

It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Build Self-Love. And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk, to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals.

Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief.

If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me.

If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes.

I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's going to save people. Worthy, your new beautiful book Worthy. Get this book. This book? I'm telling you. It's a book that can change anybody's life who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up, something's missing in your life, I have to tell you. It's powerful.

It's happening.

It's worth it. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection to founder of IT Cosmetics, a billion dollar company, by learning how to overcome self-doubt and believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams. And I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life.

If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self-doubt and know that where you come from or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then Worthy is for you. It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be.

And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it. Because in life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of.

Join the Worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold, then head to worthybook.com now for free gifts, including my five-part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95-page Worthy Workbook Action Plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo, Worthy, you are great.

This book is going to change lives. This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book.

Jamie's Bookworthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's Bookworthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com.

It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

If you love this incredible episode with Barbara Corcoran, I promise you, you are going to also love this life-changing episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show with Oprah, where we talk about how to hear your intuition, tap into your purpose, and ignite your best life. It's up next, just for you.