“Will Ferrell”
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Hey there, Will Arnett here. Welcome to SmartList, our podcast where Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and I, each week, one of us brings a guest that the other two don't know about. And this week is no exception. We get real into it. Most of the time, we just mess around with each other, and then the guest has to be embarrassed. So let's get right to the podcast. SmartList. SmartList.

Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, good. Should we go around the room and just say our names and our roles? Introduce yourself? Yeah, I'm Sean Hayes.

People have been listening to the podcast for a minute now. Sorry, so we just skipped that. Same three idiots. Okay. In the role of Sean Hayes is Sean Hayes. Should we switch parts today? Oh, we could switch parts. Ooh, yeah. I'll play Will. I'll play Will. What about that? I'll play Will. You guys are assholes. You both want to play me? I'll play Will. I'll play Will. I'll play Will. I'll play Will. I'll play Will. Fuck.

Oh, God. Okay. I'm going to be Jason. So I was, you know, so now listen. It's hard for me, though. So when I look back and I think about all the things that you've done, let's start at the beginning. Okay. So America was founded in 1492. But what if I want to really be understood? No one understands me in my house.

You know, I've got a wife and two girls. It just, I start talking, they glaze over. So I really have to fight for attention. I get on this thing, I feel like I've got, I can't, I've got to stop describing my question, right? We've spoken about this before. And I just need to ask the question. And then Sean, and then Sean's like a golden, Sean comes on and he's like, do you like whipped cream? Ha ha ha ha ha.

The golden retriever. The golden retriever. What's your favorite color? If Will was a dog, what kind of dog would Will be on this podcast? Oh, God, that's a good question. Will's probably like an untrained German shepherd. But messy, matted.

Yeah, just drool coming out on the sides. Bad hips like the German shepherds get. Yeah, dysplasia. Yeah. Jesus. Bayman would be like a full-size standard but shaved poodle. So cold yet fancy? And very proud. Walks very proud. Very proud.

Anyway, let's get to our guest. Please. Yeah, let's do it. And I'm going to tell you, you guys actually know this person, but we're going to find out stuff that we don't know about this person. If it's my mom, I'm in trouble because I haven't called her for a while. Can I just say, if it's your mom, what? Careful. This would be such a... Careful. No, I'm just going to say it would be such a mitzvah if it was your mom because we could really get into...

There's so much stuff about you, and we've known each other a long time, that I want to know. You know whose mom is not going to come on? Mine, because she's dead. That's our first commercial break. We're going to go to a florist commercial break right now. Sean, by the way, I will say your mom is dead, but imagine if my surprise guest was your mom. That would really...

That would be more surprising than me being pale. Paler than me, my God. Guys, our guest today is from Irvine, California. His mom was a teacher and his father played sax and keyboard for the Righteous Brothers.

Do we get a chance to guess at any point? No. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, don't guess. Okay. He studied sports journalism at USC, but ultimately went on to join the Groundlings, and the rest is history. He's got like a million movies under his belt, and I'm sure that's not the only thing. Ladies and gentlemen, William Farrell. Oh, my God. Wow. Jason! Yes!

There's his headshot. Jason. Hi, Jason. Jason, answer the belly. Jason, it's your mother. Jason.

First of all, she's British. Oh, okay. Sorry. But let me guess and that. Oh, what a great booking, Sean. Congratulations. Guys, can I just start by saying I'm so excited to be on the Gong Show podcast, all things you want to know about the new Gong Show. And it is just, I mean, it's sweeping the country, both countries, Canada and U.S.,

Aren't that taking fire? It's unbelievable. Are you just drinking? Is that just medicine out of the bottle? That's what it looks like. That's a kombucha. I know that because my wife drinks those. But it does look like a tonic. Like an old-time tonic. Yeah, an old-time tonic. Yeah, and I drink it as a prophylactic. Sure, yeah.

Will Ferrell, thank you so much for coming on our little show. My pleasure. And we're all obviously such gigantic fans of yours. And one question, you know, you're one of the rare people in this business, and I think I can speak on behalf of everybody, that it's really hard to find people like you. Hold on one second. Will Ferrell's got a phone call. Yes. Tight five, everybody. You need a phone.

Okay, that's a large pepperoni, right? Uh-oh. Do you want chicken fingers with that? I thought he was ordering. He's taking orders. He's taking orders. Can I get the address? Oh, all right. Okay. All right, Todd. We'll be there in 35 minutes. He asked for the address, and then he knew the guy, so he didn't need the address. Hey. Hey.

Hey, keep your landlines, folks. Keep your landlines. It is pretty strong. When the banking system collapse, you're going to want to have a landline. What I was going to say, William, was Farrell...

I always wanted to know, what is that one thing or that one event or that one person that made you want to get in the business and pursue comedy? Barack Obama. Correct. What? Before that. Before that. Great answer. Just like a week before that. The one thing? The one person? Yeah. Was there like a show or a person or an event or something in your family? Oh, Jesus. Yeah.

This is supposed to be things you don't know. Here come the waterworks. And we are losing light. We're losing light. I said I wouldn't cry. You said you wouldn't try to get me to cry, Sean, but right out of the gate. Here's the real answer to your question. Yeah. I enjoyed being funny as a child, but I was actually diametrically opposed to going into entertainment.

because I watched my father, the musician, go from job to job and be fired at the drop of a hat. And I thought, that's not, who would want to do that? I'm going to have a job where I carry a briefcase to work. I can relate to that. I had some of the same fears myself, yet I still went into this non-meritocracy and fickle sort of industry. You went in early. You were early. You were

early child. Right, but you were young as well, but I mean, not a child, but you still had an opportunity to take a different path, yet you didn't. You still, you couldn't resist the allure of...

Uh, the pancake makeup. Yeah. So what, so what, what about that though? Floor lights. After seeing your dad. Are there still floor lights? Yep. There's scoop lights. Scoop lights. Yeah. Scoop. Scoop. Yeah. Scoops. No. Okay. Listen, Will, but seeing your dad do that over and over again and not like, you know, travel, not hold down, you know, a secure kind of jump. So what, if that discouraged you, what encouraged you?

I just kind of slowly started incorporating the messing around with my friends, which I'm sure we all did. Keep it clean. Okay. Yep. Yeah. Okay. You're right. Entertainment of my friends. Ooh, that sounds weird. Yeah. The massage. No. No. No. Tickle giggle.

Tickle giggle. You know, we'd love to have a good gang tickle giggle. That's it. We got it. We're back on. No, I just said high school was kind of the moment, even though I wasn't like a theater kid or anything, and I found myself writing books.

what were essentially skits. But was there like a comedy person that you were like, God, I wish I could do what that guy does? Who did you think was funny when you were a teenager? I kind of the typical... Interesting that Will Arnett asks it once and gets a response. Mm-hmm. The Pipes. Yeah, it's the Pipes, exactly. I just got down to it. I didn't dress it up with a bunch of BS, Hayes. Ha ha ha!

I was a member of the Columbia House Record and Tape Club. And one of the items... Oh, you're being serious. I'm being serious. For $1 plus postage and handling, which really comes out to about $1.89, that's where they get you. I got to choose 13... Still seething. It was supposed to be for a penny. You got 13 albums. And it's not a penny. It's $1.89. Yeah.

Okay? It's ridiculous. It's the handling that's expensive. Okay, man, we don't work there. It's the posters and the shipping and handling. Yeah. Not to mention, if you get one record a month, if you don't send it back within 14 days, you're charged for it. Yeah. Is that how you still use Netflix? I'm doing it the original way. Yeah, I never... I still get the discs. I'm not streaming it. I don't blame you. Will drives by Ted Serrano's house and throws discs at his front door. Here's your fucking movies.

I'm done with these, Ted. One of my, one of my, was the cast album of Saturday Night Live. Okay, great. So you always aspired to be on the show that you were on? I guess quietly, yes. Quietly, I did. But that's, so Will, so you wanted that and, hold on, I'm not done.

Yeah. Shut up, Arnett. I know. Fuck. Will, can I talk to you privately real quick? Yeah, yeah. No, no, Arnett. Sorry. Listen. Yeah, listen. Arnett, when the guest is responding to a question, especially one that you answer, for Christ's sake. No, no. Wait until there's silence. That's what Conan always does, you guys. Because silence follows a completion of the fucking answer. Here we go. Okay. Steve Martin. Steve Martin. Yep. Yep.

And then I was also a Tonight Show weirdo. I'd stay up and wait to see who the comedian was. If there was a comedian on that night, I'd watch. If there wasn't, I'd turn it off. Wow. So I was kind of, that's how I... So those are the guys. Steve Martin, also an idol of mine, too, comedy-wise. I just thought, so dry and brilliant. But what was that moment? So you grew up in Orange County, you go to USC, and then you go to Groundlings. What is that gap between when you... I never knew this, like from when you finished USC to Groundlings. Yeah.

What was that gap? Like, how did you? So I graduate USC with a degree in sports journalism. So in my mind's eye, I'm going to go work on ESPN. You know, I'm going to be a sportscaster. And that would have been great. I know I blew it and missed it. In fact, Craig Kilborn brings that up to me every day. Yeah.

Do you remember Craig Kilburn? Sure do. Do you have an ongoing friendship with Craig Kilburn? I haven't seen him in probably 15 years. No. Well, he's on next.

he's coming on next come on out craig you'll see him in the green room on your way out if you were quarantining with craig kilbourne that would be it for me that would be that'd be great it'd be the greatest so so you finish so yeah so i have this i i finish and then um i start doing my i mean there wasn't really a job placement program coming out of college and so you kind of have to

figure out a way. And I found like a local Orange County cable access news station that I started working at. And I was trying to put together a tape, which I wish we could cut to that now, that in which, uh, yeah, I did, you know, started doing some field reporting and you would, you would anchor the news. You'd also work the camera, you would do everything. And

There was a light bulb moment in that even though it was this small, rinky-dink, local cable access, they had legitimate press credentials to all the major sports teams in L.A. And at that time, the Rams, the L.A. Rams football team, were playing down at Anaheim Stadium. And the editor of the show, which was actually a teacher of the class, it was actually run out of a junior college, he said, hey, we need someone to go interview you

John Robinson the head coach of the Rams sure at the stadium after this weekend's game and 40 hands shot up except for mine But you knew him from SC. Yeah. No, no, I'd never met him but but The point was here were I'm surrounded by these hungry people who were like I need that interview on my reel and my first thought was like I'm gonna have to check out a camera and

parking i gotta ask someone yeah parking i gotta pay for it

I got to ask one of my classmates if they'll run sound for me. Yeah. And you don't have a lot of money from, you don't have a lot of money left over from that subscription to all those. From Columbia. Yeah, no, I'm in debt from Columbia house representation. Um, he's in the middle of a major lawsuit against. We are, we are on the five yard line guys. And please have me on next when we finally come to terms. Um, but I'm giving all the money to charity, but God, we're going to hammer them. Uh,

But I had no, I had no, I said, this is not a good sign. I should be leaping out of my chair.

to go and actually get a legit interview with a head football coach from the NFL on my reel so that I can get hired at a station in Yuma, Arizona. And I said, if I don't really have that drive, then this other thing that's kind of still gnawing away at me is I should really be looking into this comedy thing. So that's when I signed up for my first class at the Groundlings. Really? Yeah.

I'm not trying to prod you into doing it. How soon after that did you kind of braid the two things by working on your Harry Caray? Oh, that was, yeah, that was kind of midway. That was a couple years later during the baseball strike. Just kills me. Oh, that was a character you did at Groundlings? Yeah, yeah. It was the baseball strike, and I used to, I had a job.

The art auction house that my then friend, now wife, Vivica, used to work at, I was the appraisal coordinator at the auction house, which was basically I answered the phones and coordinated appraisals and typed up appraisals and was threatened to be fired on several occasions. But I lived close enough home to drive home for lunch and I would turn the Cubs games on during the day.

And I had never heard of Harry Carey. And I was like, who is this? Who is this guy? Yeah, I grew up in Chicago. So he was a part of our lives. A fixture, right. And so I'm just, I would be listening. And the thing that struck me was listening to a game and listening to this announcer say on syndicated national television, if that ball's a strike, I'm a Chinaman. And...

And I literally did like a spit take and was like, did he just say Chinaman? Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is like a guy who's paid to do this? He's like...

And so I just thought, no, this has got to be a sketch somehow. So I somehow, even though it was a Southern California audience, I wrote a sketch where it was during the baseball strike, so Harry Carey didn't have games to announce, and he had somehow gotten involved in a play reading in a local theater. Yeah.

And it was this melodramatic play. And they were just sitting around, you know, let's take it from act one. And it was, you know, Perry had lines like, God damn it, Carol. Why don't you ever look at me when we make love? And by the end of the sketch...

the audience was like doubling over in laughter, even though they, they had no idea that Harry Carey was a real person. Right. This is something that's transcending, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. By the way, never knowing that, of course you do the Harry Caray character so many times, but the idea of him doing something, it was always in the baseball context, but seeing him doing something that's completely out of... Oh, yeah. And we had all these other actors, we had a really good troupe, and everyone was just playing it perfectly straight. And this one actress, Maggie Baird, was literally getting herself to cry while she read it. And it was just... It'd be like...

Your tears mean nothing to me. This marriage has been broken.

Since the day we crossed the altar, you know, always kind of drunk, right? Yeah. Yeah. I just, and then, and quaking a little. And then my friend Roy was the director like, okay, let's stop there. Harry. I don't know if I'm feeling, you know, just giving the acting notes and like, Harry, I really want to feel it from you this time. And you're speaking to no one but Carol right now in the scene. Okay. Let's take it again. And, and just the starting and stopping of that. And, uh,

Did you do Harry when you did your SNL audition? I did, which was, in fact, I tried to do an augmented version of that. And it was so surreal because, you know, you're just in a void. You're in 8H in the studio there. God, you must have been so nervous. I would have been just a mess. I just remember listening to...

Waiting in the way, so you guys all know that set up there, waiting by the page desk outside the doors of the studio.

and hearing the person ahead of you go through their audition while you're on deck. And just looking at all the famous pictures of everyone who had just hosted. And being in the spot, in the place that you dreamed of being, and now you're there. And then walking out to a studio that's pitch black except for a spotlight and a camera and a boom operator, and Lauren sitting in the shadows, and then you just have to do comedy. Or standing. In a void. Yeah.

So yeah, that was very surreal. I tried doing it. I don't know. Will Ferrell, I also want to know, like, have you ever desired to do anything? I know you wanted to be a sports announcer, right? Or sportscaster. But if you weren't doing the thing that you're doing, not quarantining, but in entertainment business, what would you be doing? If you had to pick a blue collar job, you had to pick, what would it be? Oh, blue collar. I was, because I was going to say, I've always wanted to do finance.

It seems so interesting to you. I love finance. I love figuring out like a second more, you know. Sure. I can't even do the bit because I don't even know the terms. Right. Refi. Low. Will comes alive. When you mention private equity, it's like. What? Who said? Are you subprime? Is that still a thing?

I actually could be a I could actually be a post person, to be quite honest, to deliver the mail, because I like like the idea of a route. And you get to, you know, have some contact with people and the idea of finishing a task every day. Would you be on foot armed with the with the dog spray or would you be in the buggy?

I would go foot with the trolley. I'd push the trolley. Nice. Yeah. Nice. Those are sneaky tricky, those three-wheel thing. They will go over on you. I'm sure they, yeah, in a high wind or, yeah. Or if you don't take the letters out, you don't go in a clockwise or counterclockwise rotation. If you take too many out of the left side, it's going to tip over on the right and vice versa. Did you used to do it? Hey, how often did you look out the window masturbating at the postman? A lot or a little? A lot.

Only in the summer months when they wear the shorts. Look at that card. There's David. There's David. David, our postman's here. David is going to topple. David is going to topple. I'll get the mail. Hey, guys, David's here. Yeah, so what? Wait. Cut to the reverses. Nobody's there. Nobody's there.

He's alone. Hey, Bateman, quick question. Because you did, we mentioned before you grew up in showbiz. We all know that. We've seen the great things and people who are listening can right now Google up like Little House on the Prairie and see cute little Jason Bateman. Yeah. Did you ever have a real, did you ever have like an outside show business job? Have you ever had like a...

I didn't, and I genuinely hate that. I'd love to have had a paper route similar to Dave's route with his three-wheeler. But you were working all the time as a kid. I started at 10, yeah, so there was no chance to. But I've always legitimately fantasized about waiting tables or bartending. There's something about working for a tip

which is sort of like the same thing as I want them to like me. I want this table might need something different than that table. Just sort of like being able to morph into whatever they need me to be. I have, I do, I will say this, all my quote unquote civilian jobs, I've been pretty terrible at. So,

Because you didn't like authority or you were just disinterested? No, like slow. Yeah, just like slow on the uptake. I had a lot of patient managers and supervisors who... Did you have a lot of job, like do you have weird jobs in high school that you did? I never, I was doing sports all the time. So, but I had, you know, I had like the, I worked as a bank teller. I was a valet parker of cars. And... How were you taking direction?

Well, you know, bank teller, you know, there's certain protocols and procedures you have to follow and this and that. And it just took me a while. I mean, the fact that I was handling numbers and money, it just, I was like... Euphoric. What am I doing here? The finance lost.

stop me in the middle of a transaction and say, can you call your manager over? And I said, sure. And I brought her over and he's in front of me. He said,

this guy is your worst teller. Okay. And I just want you to know this. And he did in a very calm way. And he was like, look, look at him right now. He's sweating. And I literally was sweating. He's like, he's terrible. He takes forever. He, um, and, and the manager to her defense was like, please, that's, that's not true. And I was like, no, he's kind of right. And, uh, um, and I just want, you know, like, I hate when I have to go to his window. And then he just walked away. And, um,

She was like, I'm sorry about that. I was like, you know what? I can't really argue with him. There's a I'm not that great to tell her. This was counting bills, counting out cash or, you know, everything. Cashing a check. Yeah. Do it all. So that guy did you a favor in the long run. Right. In a lot of ways. Sounds like you need to pen someone a letter. Well, every time I go, every time I put the pancake makeup on and I picture that guy.

And I say, who's laughing now? So you still do all your own makeup?

I insist on it. It's crazy. Well, there's allergies. Especially in the, you know, post-COVID-19 world we're all about to step into, I will definitely be doing all my own makeup. So, Will Ferrell, you are one of the funniest people on the planet, if not the funniest person on the planet. And everybody kind of, do you get sick of like, because now you're a parent and you have to show up to like school things and parent things for your kids. Do people expect that from you all the time? And what is your reaction?

Uh, there is, um, there is a certain level of underwhelment. Is that a word? Yes. Yeah, it is now. I can tell, I can tell there are a lot of letdown people continually. But Will, I will say this, you know, Will, I don't even remember this a couple of years ago, maybe last year we were having dinner. Yeah. I was having dinner with, with Richter and Pete Giles and, and, uh,

you and Viv came in from a school event. Yeah. And with a couple other parents and Will was wearing his name, they're all wearing name tags and Will says, hello, my name is Will on the thing, which is great. And that's such a testament to what a great guy you are. And it's like,

Yeah, man. I'm not here. I'm just here because my kids are at school here and I'm interested in my kids and their lives and their school. But I'm sure you guys face the same thing. I find more that there are some parents who literally won't say hi because they go so far the other way. I don't want to bother them. So then you're like, hey, how you doing? And they walk right by and you're like, gosh, what?

Did I say something wrong? Yeah. Yeah. And then do you feel on the, on the opposite of that, do you feel that you have to sometimes lead with sort of a vibe that is less than a sort of, uh, friendly or less than sort of solicitous of conversation? Cause you're afraid that if you seem too friendly, they're really going to lean in. And like, how do you kind of say, no, I would say that I would say at least in the school setting, most everyone is, is,

is relatively normal. I would say that posture, that's my game face for when I'm on a commercial flight. Right. Just sour, don't come near me, I will rip your head off. I will. Not here. Not here for fun and games. Let's get to flying. Eye mask and headphones. Will, is there anything that you haven't done that you want to do? Either a role that you want to play or... Nope.

Talk to you later. Totally satisfied. How do I, how do I turn this camera off? How do I get out of here? How do I, how do I, no, there isn't because everybody thinks you can do anything. I don't know. But how do you, how do you, you can't give that answer without sounding like a jackass. Right. Well, yeah. What would you, what would you do if like, uh, let's say, let's say Ridley Scott came to you and he wanted to do, uh, uh, uh, King Lear.

and he just thought he sees something in you that would just be like an incredibly like it's off brand and studio's excited and all of those terms and all of that stuff and the money's just like like you've never etc etc etc does your douche meter go off and say even though you could do it do you feel like the audience will never accept yeah i think that would be a um

that would be a tough one to try to convince yourself that you could pull that one off. Having said that you have, you have, you have King Lear. Are you about to, no, Jason, are you direct? Are you doing it? No, but you have, but what about what in all sincerity? I think you've taken what you do and you've pushed it into so many realistic, dramatic, melancholy things that the,

truly nobody else could do just like no one else could do what you do in comedy. I really think it's admirable how you are so aware of how you come across, what sort of your goalposts are and what you're, what you're asking the audience to accept you as I think is that's a lot of discipline. I appreciate that. But, uh, yeah, I mean, it's, it's fun to do that other stuff, but there are times where, uh, I'm, I am always on those sets of more serious things going, this is,

this is very hard. And this is hard to not look like you're trying to be the actor who everyone needs to take serious. So it's a... It's a drama face. Yeah, it's so...

It's so tough. Which is so funny because doing what you do, specifically what you do, Will, is so hard. And when I say not many people, like nobody could do it. Working out, you mean? Yeah. The way I work out? Well, just lats, the way you do arms and legs. Yeah. Nobody does legs like you. And you've always said that.

And thanks for the posts. You always post them, too. Not a lot of people know that we'll train Reggie Bush when he came through SC. I'm a fairly modest person. I think you guys, I think that comes across here. But I will not hold back. No one does legs the way I do. You know? I mean... Leg day's a holiday in the Farrell household. Leg day is, yeah, it's just... Now, here's the other thing, Will Farrell.

You know, you're also known not only as the funniest person in the world, but one of the kindest people. Everybody in this business always just raves about what a great human being you are. That's the hard part. I can attest to that. That's what they pay you for. That's the part they pay you for. Very, very sweet. And but so that said, I think the thing I always wanted to know, what really pisses you off?

Here we go. This is where we start the interview. He's all kombucha'd up. Now, do you mean... I'm full of... No, we just want names. We just want names. Yeah, when's the last time you just screamed your head off and let somebody have it? Yeah, because I can't picture you angry. No, I don't get... I'm trying to think of the last... I mean, I have screamed before. I have screamed in a professional manner.

Or like in life or like at home or like in people, in human beings. What pisses you off? I mean, yeah, home, it's, you know, the typical frustrations you have with your children. And for some reason, I'm always checking myself because I'm holding them to some standard that I don't think I was held to. Like I was, I was, I mean, I did well in school, but I still had problems.

My room was a mess and I never emptied the dishwasher. But for some reason, I'm just like,

You guys, it's not that hard. We're asking you to empty the trash. See, if I was your child, I would laugh at that. And put the liner back in. Put the liner back in. Reline the trash can. You're not done. It's a two-step process. Right. But that, for some reason, I get crazy, and then I'm like,

Who is this person? Yeah. But I was going to say about holding them to that standard. You know, during these weird times we had the other day, Archie, our 11-year-old, was on a Zoom class. Yeah. And it turned out he had his camera off and on the side he was on his iPad playing a video game. So I said to Amy, I said to my ex, I was like, he's on the thing and blah, blah, blah. And as I was saying to her, like, he's on the Zoom class, but he's on pause and he's playing a video game.

beat, beat, beat. I was looking at her and I go, which I probably would have done if given a chance and you probably would have too. And she's like, yeah, I totally would have. I know. Yeah, exactly. It was crazy. I don't, I don't know why. Yeah. I don't know why I go there, but can I, I have one other thing. I don't on in a work experience kind of bugaboo. Yeah. I don't love the unit publicist experience on a set because

Right. And for those listeners who are wondering, there's a lot of times on a production, there's a publicist assigned from the studio and this and that. And they're always playing the game of like, so-and-so is willing to do it if you are. And then... Right. Guilting you. Yeah. Yeah. And they do these wide circles, right? They just do little drive-bys every once in a while to gauge whether you're in a good mood or a bad mood to just want to kind of run something by you. And I'm always...

I'm always amazed at we want to have 20 journalists visit the set and do a three-hour interview while you guys are filming. I'm always like, "But wait, isn't the movie the first priority?" I'm always like, "Absolutely, if we have time." Okay, but when do you think will be a good time? You'll have to check with the first AD. Okay, but is there a window? I have no idea.

So you're up for it? Yes, if we have time. Okay. Great. So you've signed off. If we have time. Right. And then I love those days when there's no time. You just walk by and you go, I'm sorry, there was no time. Will, what was the thing I remember you were telling me once about? Kind of felt like the same thing. Somebody said to you, hey, we're going to do a golf tournament. Tiger Woods is going to come if you're in. And like you felt like somebody had told Tiger that you were going to play.

And it was like, yes, yes. Somehow my dad, my dad became your dad. My dad somehow became a middleman. He was asking me. He had some friend of his down in Newport Beach who came to listen to him play music was like, hey, so he's talked to Tiger Woods.

And Tiger Woods is in for it. If you and Tiger Woods play golf together and they'll raise a bunch of money for charity for another twosome, so you're a foursome together and these two, whoever, you know, it goes to the highest bidder to play golf with Will Ferrell and Tiger Woods.

And that he's already reached out to Tiger and it's good to go. And I was like, well, dad, who is this friend of yours? And how well do you know him? And he seems like a good guy. And I go, well, you know, a lot of times they'll ask one party before they ask the other. And so maybe I'll check. Let me do some research. And for some reason, some way I had some way to check to see if the Tiger camp had ever heard of this guy.

Special charity golf. Dr. Miller got involved. Exactly. And it turns out, of course, Tiger, I said, Dad, guess what? Your buddy, Tiger Woods, apparently his team has never heard anything of this. And your friend's lying to you. And he was like, how? How could that be? And I said, I know. That's the way the world sometimes works. What kind of music does he play?

He's like an old-time rock and roll. Really? Yeah. Guitarist? No, he's piano, sax, Hammond B3 organ. Wow. Let's hear it for the Hammond B3. That's amazing. But yeah, that was Mike Tiger Woods' story. I always loved that idea, though. I've thought about that so many times, the idea of like, when they go like, hey, we want you to do this thing, and so-and-so and so-and-so are doing it. And I always think back to that story of like, and then I'll go...

Why don't you make sure that so-and-so and so-and-so. That's how I found myself on an island with Marie Osmond and Kirk Cameron, you know? Oh, boy. I got asked to play in another charity golf tournament by a friend, assuming that I was going to play with the person I know. Right. Only to show up and be placed with four strangers. And these guys were like in it to win it. And they're like,

Hey, hope you're pretty good. Did you end up playing? Yeah, I had to play this entire 18 holes with these four guys. And they wanted to show you how good they were, right? A hundred percent. They're like, we hope you're good because we win this thing every year. And you better be funny. Well, it was early SNL days, so they kind of had heard of me, maybe not. They were like, is that show still on the air? I didn't even know people watched it. Sweet. He sounds sweet.

And then I literally, we were supposed to be a banquet afterwards. And I said, guys, I'm going to go put my clubs in my car and I'll meet you back inside. Just drove home. And did we win? Yes, we won. Even despite. Did you really? You didn't stick around for the trophy. I didn't stick around. That's strong. Yeah. So as we say goodbye to you and this, and this pandemic day, what, what, what do you do the rest of the day?

Uh, let's see. It's three in the afternoon. I'm going to go. I might go. I might go walk our dogs, Peanut and Cosmo. Right. So that's with a mask. They'll be with a mask. I'm going to do a sweep through the house to find where all the devices have been hidden because these kids are liars and thieves. And so I'll do a sweep.

And then Viv and I will start talking about – we start talking about what we're making for dinner at around noon every day. So we'll have to start –

You've got to build a day around that. And then it's sleep by 8. Yeah. Jason, have you done, or Will or Sean, well, not to your kids, but maybe to Scotty, have you ever done a thing where you go, you still had it with the devices? I've threatened during this pandemic a minimum 100 times to throw the devices in the pool. Yes. I said, this iPad is going in the bottom of the pool if I see it on one more time. Yeah. Yeah, but then you quickly realize all that means is more work for you.

Yeah. Yeah. True. I did throw my 13-year-old Matias' phone out the window. You did? Driving. All of us driving. But it was a real slow crawl. And I picked a target area where I knew we could find it later. And I just chucked it out the window and hit this bush. And he literally was like, what is wrong with you? And he was so shocked that I actually did it.

And typical true to form, we pulled over. He's like, I can't believe it. Burst into tears, went back to look for the phone. He's like, I can't find it. I can't find it. I walked right up to the bush. I'm like, here it is. It's right here. And so that was a great little shot across the bow.

What you're capable of, right? Don't mess. What I'm capable of. But it hasn't been much of a deterrent. Yeah. Well, Will Ferrell, thank you for being here with us. We love you. You're our comedy hero. Thanks, you guys. So much fun. Can't thank you enough. Very, very nice of you, Will. Ugh, Willie. Bye, guys. Love you, buddy. Bye, Will. Thank you.

Guys, that was so fun. How awesome is he? He literally is one of my favorite people in the whole world, and I was a little starstruck there for the first few minutes, but God, he puts you at ease, doesn't he? What a nice guy. You were starstruck when I came on or when he was on? Oh, sorry. Arnett. Oh. Oh, sorry. When Arnett was, yeah. Sure. Good for you, dude. Good for you. Dude, I'm just like, I'm a regular guy. I'm very approachable.

Farrell is the best, isn't he? I had the honor and pleasure and good fortune to work on a couple of things with him, and they were some of my fondest memories because most of the time we just screwed around. And he's one of those guys who you go, oh, no wonder you're a superstar because everybody wants to work with you because you're one of the nicest people in the business and incredibly talented, right? Yeah. He's got that, as you know, you guys know, he's got that...

sort of that natural timing that you cannot learn you just have it or you don't and he has got it in spades in ways that are yeah he's got that thing that that makes him he's so surprising too yeah he just surprises you with stuff it's just awesome is there anything you guys uh learned about him that you didn't know certainly about his dad yeah isn't that interesting and all the sports journalism stuff that he was excited about early on right

It's crazy. I've met his dad a few times, and I guess I didn't really realize his dad was a musician. I don't know how. For the Righteous Brothers. I mean, that's crazy. Yeah. I did not know he was on Saturday Night Live. Oh, yeah. You didn't know that? Wow. Mind blown. Yeah, no, you got to go back and look at some of those. But you hosted a couple times while he was on the show, Sean. I don't look behind me. I don't look behind me. I just look forward.

Oh, okay. I don't know how that's applicable in this case. Sean, I'm very proud of you that you got Will Ferrell to say yes. Do you have any sort of incriminating photos or does he owe you money? How did you do that? I have a couple. No, I don't have anything. I can't think of anything. Okay. All right, guys. Love you guys. I love you. Hey, guys, I just want to say bang. Oh.

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