Hey there, Will Arnett here from SmartList. It's the podcast where Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and I interview somebody. Two of us don't know who that person is because one of us has brought on a surprise guest. That's the whole conceit. I wish I could describe it better, but I'm not that smart. So it's SmartList, and it's starting now. SmartList.com
Smart. Less. Smart. Less.
We do a little pre-dance, right? We always do a little pre-dance. Yeah, we do a little. But have we played that little tune on our podcast yet? We haven't played it on the show yet. We've always done it in the pre-room. It's $5 foot long subway that Will's kind of obsessed with. Obsessed with that song. So toe-tappy. And I feel like if we just throw it on the podcast a couple times, we might get some Sammies. Free Sammies, yeah. We might. I think it's a big hit with the $5 foot long. And by the way, I'll even take the six inch.
That's fine. With a bag of chips and a soda, I'll take that too. If I had a dollar, the number of times I've heard you say that, Will. Then you'll take a six inch? I know. Oh, Lord. I know. Listen, I want to tell you guys something. Scotty and I really look forward to our Jeopardy Wheel of Fortune hour every night. Do you guys watch? What? Anybody? Oh, 7 and 730? Oh, see? Okay. Now, listen, I don't watch yet, but in my defense, it's because I haven't given up yet.
Yeah. You watch those two shows in your sweatpants, right? Yeah. Says the guy in PJs. Now, listen, guys, look. That's a naked knee you see right there. I've got shorts on today. I really got shamed. You really hurt us, huh? You really hurt us. You shamed me yesterday, yeah. Okay, so wait. But, like, I'll watch Wheel of Fortune, and, you know, the puzzle will be, like, you know, like, blank...
of one half dozen of another. And I'm like, it's six, but then they can't ever get it. And I'm yelling at the TV. But then the last puzzle, do you watch Jason for real? - I have in the past. - Okay. So the last puzzle now, the bonus round, they put two words together that never make any sense, right? They'll do like- - That I haven't seen. - They'll be like, the phrase is like charred bricks or something. - Sure. - You know? And it's really upsetting, but this is all moot because you guys don't watch.
Well, this... I forget. When did you move to Florida again? I forget this because...
And so do you argue with people when you're in line for the early bird? Like what's going on? Yeah, and it's just all you get is basic cable in the trailer. So that's why he's watching those game shows. I'm on cable, right? So I'm watching MSNBC or things you've got to – And I say that because my grandparents lived in Florida and my grandmother would talk to the TV and stuff would be going on. And here in the other room she'd be going, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh.
And I'm like, I know she's in there by herself. Hey, is Vanna still out there turning letters? She sure is. She's turning lots of letters. Turning cubes? Yeah, turning cubes. Anyway, guys, today, this very powerful woman has accomplished more in her few years on this earth than most people have in their entire lifetime. Is she a bodybuilder? Very powerful. Oh, not in that sense, maybe. No, but she's very much in shape.
I'm pretty confident you guys and our listener will know who she is. She's an Oscar winner, Golden Globe, and Emmy winner. If you don't know her, Google her. Her name is Reese Witherspoon. What? Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Mrs. America. Wow. Look at her setup. Look at that. First of all, I've got microphone envy. Wait a minute. Why do you have, it looks like a mic from the 20s. Oh, because that's my other job. I'm just kidding. She's a time traveler, dum-dum. Da-da-da.
We're just in. That's what it looks like. America's not doing very well. I'll take that. Oh, Reese. Hi, guys. I'm so happy you said yes to come and hang out with us. This is huge. Well, long-time lister, first-time caller. No, you haven't listened to any of these. I have. I've been listening, guys. Really? Yes. You guys are really good guests. Who's your favorite? And I don't mean guests. I don't mean guests.
Of you three. Hosts. Wait, she's got to name her favorite host. Geez, that's tough. Reese, you're from Nashville, aren't you? That's right. I'm from Nashville, Tennessee. Well, how old were you when you moved out and where did you move to? Straight to LA? Well, let me see. Well, I was an Army, Air Force brat, actually. So we grew up in all over. Come on. My husband, Scott, he's an Army brat. Grew up in like 17 cities. Is that right?
Um, yeah. So he's been traveling around. So my dad was in the Air Force. And so in the 70s, we were in Germany. And then we came back to Nashville. I grew up there. And then I started making movies when I was 14. How old were you when you left Germany? And were you old enough to know German? Yes, I was five. I spoke German then. What part of Germany? I lived in Wiesbaden on an army base. Scotty lived in Stuttgart.
Oh, really? Yeah. Those are neighbor cities because I think Wiesbaden is where the Porsche test track is from what I understand. Oh, that might be right. That's true. That's true. We went to – one time we were going over to Europe and Dax was going over with us like the day before. And he lands in Frankfurt and he says to the guy, he rented a Porsche from like Avis or whatever. And he goes, can I – can you tell me how to get to that test track? Okay.
And the guy goes, yeah, of course you go this way, but you must not use this car on the test. And the tech goes, oh, no, for sure, for sure I won't. No, for sure I won't. But just tell me where it is. And the guy's like, okay, it is here, but let me be clear. You cannot use this on the test. Of course. Of course I won't. Yeah, for sure. Thanks, man. You know, straight to the test track. Is that true?
Is that your German accent? It's pretty good. If I close my eyes, I'm in Berlin. Wow. Crazy. How would you like it to sound, Mr. Hayes? Oh, this is better. That is really good. That sounds threatening. That one I had to lean, but I was trying to oscillate back and forth between Mr. Shepard and...
And this guy. But Mr. Hayes, you have caught my attention now. Rhys, Will wanted me to say this joke to you, which I just think is so dumb, but he wanted me to ask you because everybody's been wondering. Wait, I thought, who knew that I was coming and who didn't know that I was coming? That's why this is a joke. We know that this isn't real. If I'd ever ran into you, Will wanted me to ask, have you ever been without your spoon?
Oh, okay. I would, but I'd be in pieces. Oh, Reese. So now Reese. Terrible. Reese, are you not sorry? No.
Sorry, that's a crossover. You're talking to the voice of Reese's Pieces right there. I am the voice of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. No, you aren't. Yeah, he really is. Reese Witherspoon, welcome to our show. Thanks, Sean. Welcome to Smartbuck. This is the show where Reese listens to three guys talk. I know, I know, I know. Sorry. Welcome to Hollywood, people. Yeah, thanks for having me.
Yeah. Yeah. Weren't you like a huge, you were like the huge Avon or something, right? I did Avon for years. I did Elizabeth Arden for years. Do you have a commercial campaign you're excited about right now, Reese? Now, I have this great thing with Buick where you can, I have a book club. Really? Called Reese's Book Club. Yeah. Sure. Okay.
And in all the new Buicks, we have an app that plays all the Audible books and all my favorite podcasts. Oh, wow. Which is kind of fun. Great idea. I thought you were going to say, in every Buick, there's a stand to put a book that you read at stoplights. Mm-hmm.
Oh, God, Sean. So wait a minute. The audio books are in the Buicks? Yeah, they're in that. All of our picks are embedded in the Buick. And I'm I got so excited, y'all. I saw it for the first time. It's what I thought my name was on Jeopardy. That's how excited I am. And my name has been on Jeopardy, but it was above. Yeah, I just threw that down.
This is a Jeopardy thing going on now. Was it a $1,200 clue or a $200 clue? I think I was a $500 first round clue. Oh. Oh, there was a girl, this sweet girl once sweeped because I was a whole category. Are you serious? But it's actually worth Googling because the two dudes next to her had no idea who I was. She's like, Legally Blonde, Tracy Flick.
Do you remember the title of the category? It was something like Reese's Pieces. Yeah, of course. Of course. If only you had read it well. I know, I wish. I want to know like a crazy audition story because we've all shared ours. A crazy audition or crazy jobs? What about one that you wish you would have gotten that somebody else got? They did a great job and you- Oh, well, I really wanted Clueless when I was 18. You did great.
Like I've never told anybody. And then Amy Heckerling did a whole thing in Vanity Fair last year and told everybody. Oh, wow. You know when that shit pops up and you're like, thanks. Yeah. I didn't really let anybody know how hard I went at that one and didn't get it. Oh,
I went pretty hard for that one. Are you a fan of the writing an email to the director or the producer or, you know, sort of declaring how eager you are for something? Or do you think it's better strategy to kind of have sexy indifference? No, I'm the passionate go-for-it person because I feel like ego is the death of creativity. Yes. If your ego comes before it, like, you can't be on set in a collaborative medium like this. Like,
We work with 200, 300 people a day. If you can't bend your ego to the side for a minute, you're not going to do very well. Yeah. I totally agree. Art is absent of ego, I think. It should be. But, I mean... It should be. Y'all did just talk about each other for like 10 solid minutes. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Well, we love each other a lot. But wait, so I'm really psyched about this thing you did with Buick about putting these books. Oh, my God. Please let's not dwell on this. Well, I just want to say, like, what was the— So you have this book club, and this was, like, the natural progression of that. I mean, obviously, right? So how did you start the book club thing? What was the genesis of that? Well, you know, I started this book club because first, before I started the book club, I—
I started a production company probably 10 years ago because all the scripts I was getting were just so god-awful. Like, literally awful. And, listener, this is the gold standard of all production companies in Hollywood, by the way. Thanks for saying that. Miss Witherspoon here is— It's true. And it also dovetails into your book club thing because, listener, she reads, I think, correct me if I'm wrong, a book a day. Do you really read a book a day?
Probably every two days. She's insane. Are you kidding me? No. I'm so jealous. My eyes get crossed sometimes. That's why I wear glasses a lot. What about scripts? Does that mean that you don't, you'd rather read a book than a script? I read scripts, but there aren't as many scripts because I like, I'm very discerning about which books we develop. So the book club came out of the first two books I optioned for my production company were Gone Girl and Wild. And it's,
they were both, they both hit number one at the same time. And somebody said to me, well, you keep putting all this stuff on your Instagram. Why don't you just make a separate Instagram about the books you read? And so I did. And it just started doing really well. And it actually has been this
opportunity to have first-time authors get their book noticed and seen. Yeah, that's exciting. And now are these publishers giving you early looks at things and hoping that you'll like it? Yeah. So I'm reading right now for February. Right, of course. Now, do you have people that you trust? You've got to have people that help you with some of the reading. It's like,
me and one other person are reading it. My CEO of my company are doing it together. And so you're wading through all of it yourself. Like, that's amazing. That's a lot of work. Yeah, but you can get through. Well, the first filter is it's written by a woman and it has a woman at the center of it. And I have a no women locked in a basement rule. Why? Why? Oh, God. Why is that? That actually,
reminds me of a story I was like I have two big little lies this executive in LA called me in one of the major studios and he was like hey hey I just we would love to have something like big little lies at our studio and I'm like oh thank you so much he was like it was so good I just have I just have one one little comment I can't believe it's coming I can't believe it's coming
The guy's parts just, they're just not as good. Yeah. Wow. That is genius. So you're getting it. Brilliant. Wow. And who was that? Not the name, but that was somebody at a buyer? He ran a major studio. He just emailed me yesterday. He's like, out of the business now, starting an app. And he's like, hey, I'm starting an app. Wow.
Wow. For men. Do you have any guy-centric ideas for my app? Exactly. I had all guys starting the app. Oh, my God. It's amazing.
I'm fascinated in the reading of it all. So are you a speed reader or are you just great at it? Yeah, I can read really fast. And that is just something that came naturally to you or did you work on that when you were a kid? I actually didn't know that was like something that everybody didn't have until I met my husband. And we were probably going on a date or something one weekend. He was like,
hey, can we go out of town? I was like, yeah, I just have to read scripts. He's like, you're going to be reading a script? I was like, yeah, I just have three scripts to read. And he's like, that's going to take all weekend. And I was like, oh, no, no, no. Are you kidding? He's like, you can, I was like, it takes me about 45 minutes to read a script. And then, you know, I'm just going to, and he was like,
What? And so I didn't know. I think my grandma was a first grade teacher and she taught me how to read when I was four or five. And I think she taught me how to speed read. Wow.
But I can't ask her because she's not here anymore. God bless you, Grandma. But I do read really fast. It took Jason three days to read the definition of reading in the dictionary. And it's only a paragraph. I couldn't figure out the left to right. I had the top to bottom thing. Top to right, top, bottom, yeah. So do you know if you have a specific technique? Like some people say like they group three words at a time. No, but.
you know what is so fascinating? Have you ever taken time on set to see how your fellow actor memorizes lines? I'm fascinated. Cause I can tell. No, cause it's such a solitary. Right. So we all probably memorize our lines in different ways. And so if you start to ask people what their tricks are,
It has a lot to do with how you read. Do you ever do this? Whenever you memorize lines, do you remember, like if you forget a word, but you remember the letter it starts with? Yes. That happens to me a lot. Yes. What about y'all? I can see the page. You can see the whole page? I can see the whole page. All I have to do is see it basically once. Jason's
the fastest I've ever worked with in terms of memorizing. He and I are both pretty quick at the same time. I am not. I remember one time Jason and I were going to do a scene on Arrested when we were doing that Netflix season, and we walked, there was a two-man scene, and it was like eight pages long.
And right as we were walking to set, Mitch Hurwitz goes, hey, guys, we just rewrote it. And it was one of the first scenes. And we both were walking. And Jason and I would go, blah, blah, blah. And then you're going to say, blah, blah, blah. We looked. We looked. We looked. We looked. We looked. We buried the script. And we started shooting. Do you remember that, Jay? Yeah. Wow. That's so amazing. Also, Mitch Hurwitz writes such good dialogue. Good dialogue. It is. If it's well written, it does go into your brain pretty easily. When it's well written. So, Reese, when you memorize, though, are you—
Are you going top to bottom on the page and you're just memorizing it like that? Or are you memorizing it in groups or thoughts? Do you memorize it as fast as you read? I don't know. It takes me three runs. I have to read it the night before.
Then during hair and makeup, then I have to stay alone in a quiet space. And then I have to hold the sides, even though the sides have nothing to do... Sides are our little lines that we carry on set. And then for the rehearsal, I have to hold them in my hand. And then...
During the blocking, wherever I stand is where I say the line. And if you change my blocking, I can't remember the line. Right. Forget it. Yeah, that's why. Yeah, I can't really remember my lines until the scene is blocked. Same.
Wait, I want to hear your process, Jason, because this kind of stuff is really fascinating to me. Blocking is what, Jason? Is where you stand, where you sit, when you get up, all that stuff. This is for Sean's aunt in Wisconsin, I believe it is. No, Sean was very happy. You see how excited Sean got when recently you very kindly explained what sides are. Right. And Sean was so excited because he loves explaining things. Well, I think that's...
I do too. Thank you, Reese Witherspoon. What's her name, by the way? What's the sister's name? Tracy. So it's the Tracy ticker, bottom of the screen for explanation. Okay, so what I do is I think a lot about how I'm going to do it, which is actually not really a good thing to do as an actor. And that's why I don't really get impressed
I don't want to nail in how I'm going to do it because I got to leave room for how you're going to be doing your lines, you know, so I can be flexible with performance. So actually I learned my lines specifically once we do our rehearsal and then they're lighting the shot and the stand-ins are in there. Have you ever had this moment on set where you're looking at somebody and they're doing like, they're doing such incredible work. You forget the lines. Yeah.
All the time. Yeah, you start watching. I do that a lot when I'm directing. Yeah. You get out of your body and you start looking at them and going like, either, holy shit, they're so bad in this scene. Or...
Oh, my God. I can't believe I get to act with this human. When I'm directing something that I'm in, I've got to be doing that. Like I've got to be watching their performance at the same time. So, yeah, sometimes it is – and you're thinking about, oh, my God, how am I going to edit around this performance? Jason, that's got to be so hard. But it's fun because it's a great – it's a perfect seat to have. Like you're right there. And you can actually – if they're open to it, you can give them adjustments and notes while you're inside the scene. You don't necessarily have to wait until the end and try to remember your notes and stuff like that.
That's cool. But I love it. I can't memorize lines without making a choice. I know a lot of actors, like you just said, Jason, they memorize the words, but they wait until rehearsal to kind of figure out how it goes. Memorize it like a robot. Some will even write it down. They'll write their lines out and they'll remember it.
every single word, like real staccato. I couldn't do that. I worked with this actor once and he couldn't, if you ad-libbed at all, and it was a comedy, so you got to just be loose, you know, because that stuff gets really stuck and not funny. It gets not funny after take three. It's just not funny anymore. And if I didn't say the last written line, he literally only knew my last word. So if I didn't say the word, he would remember his line. I thought, he's nuts.
Not listening to me. Moron. Yeah. I've worked with people like that who are like, oh, sorry, I didn't hear the cue. And you're like, well, how did you not know that I was saying the same thing? Right, it's the intention. Yeah, it's the intention. Yeah, stupid ass. I usually just wait for a huge gaping pause, and that's when I know I come in. Oh, they stopped talking. It's my turn. I spend half my time so excited about doing something that's going to crack the other person up, so I'm just giddy. I'm like bursting to fuck around. Yeah.
At all times, even in life, that I'm just like giddy. That's so fun to be around people who are like so excited to ad lib. Yeah, I love that. It's infectious. Yeah. You guys seem to be having that kind of vibe on Morning Show.
We don't ad-lib that much on Morning Show, but we have such great dialogue. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. By the way, I love the show and you're fantastic on it. Thank you. So good in it. So, so, so good. I love it. I've seen every episode. I love it. It's so fun. It's great to work with Jen every day and all those incredible people. And even like Martin Short came on our show and I was freaking out. I know. He was so great. I think he got nominated, didn't he? He did. He got nominated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did. When do you guys go back?
We're going to go back right now. It's going to be interesting. I've been talking to some friends who are on sets and wearing masks. And then I'm like, what's it like to try and stay in the scene, but then also stay safe and keep everybody safe? So just kind of trying to mentally prepare for that. But I'm excited to work again because I'm going nuts over here.
You and me both. Look at us. We started a goddamn podcast. We're so crazy. You guys are so much fun to listen to. I was like, hold on. I called Mindy Kaling. I was like, should we be doing what those guys are doing? You should. Yeah. Yeah. You should get on it. Well,
your list of accomplishments is endless. Speaking of like, I don't know what to do with myself because I'm similar, but you're much more prolific than I am. You're acting career, you're producing career, you're clothing company, you're book club, you're like in seven television shows right now all at once. Oh, and oh, you're a mom. I mean, these guys know my story, but what in the hell happened to you as a child that gave you, that gave you this like boundless ambition? Well,
I was always like a really overachieving kid, but I wanted, you know, I think every actor has to kind of dig down and figure out who are you trying to make happy? So once you figure that out, like I figured that out through seven years of therapy. I figured it out. Yeah. Or you graduated. Well, I think I graduated from therapy. My therapist passed away. So I'm just
I didn't go anywhere. Oh, no. But then when she figured it out... Was it a parent? Was it a family member? For sure, for sure. It's always, right? Always is. Am I right or wrong? How do you all feel? Give me an amen. For sure. I'm still trying to get my out of boys. Yeah, yeah. So...
It's usually like, whose approval are you trying to get? And once you kind of solve that puzzle, then it's like, okay, why am I still doing this? What am I doing? That's when my whole career shifted to more purpose-driven. I want more women behind the camera. I want to see more stories written from a woman's perspective by a woman. I want to have women.
Women make more money. And it just gave me fuel, you know? Yeah. It's changed my whole life. Is that what inspired you to, in the lead, in the way of Fight for Women's Equality and Equal Pay for Genders? And do you think your efforts have paid off? And where are we? Absolutely. I mean, I see so much shifting, so much more consciousness. The lights are on. People are actually having these conversations and discussions. Yeah. I mean...
Y'all know how prolific it was that there were no people of color at agencies and no people of color as executives at studios. And now I'm seeing so much more of an effort to actually diversify storytelling by changing the storytellers, but also the executives that make the decisions are just becoming more diverse, which is going to really create a better diversity of programming and the emergence of streaming has...
helped everyone because it opens it up. It just opens it up. I remember being, you know, when I was first dating Amy, my ex-wife, and then when we were married and people would talk, you know, there was that whole thing that used to be like,
you know, like, well, there was always that argument, like women aren't as funny. And I was like, not as funny. The funniest people I know are women. Are women. I know. Tina and Amy. And Tina and Maya and Rachel Dratch. I'm like, are you for fucking real? They're the funniest people, period. And you, and the fact that there was even a debate was so absurd.
Yeah, it's... Although it should be noted one time I did an interview and they said, what's it like being married to the funniest person in America? And I said, you'd have to ask my wife. So... You don't think you guys got divorced three days later? Yeah, exactly. Are you guys still married or... It was pretty close.
Are you excited about Kamala Harris? Oh, gosh. Y'all, your interview with her was so well-timed. Oh, I know. How lucky was that? Was that crazy? Crazy. Yeah, that's insane. We were chasing it for a little while, and then the fact that she said, you know, she picked the date, and we were like, she must know that she's picking a date the week that he's going to make his pick. She called us, like, the week before and was like, we got to go now. And at that point, we were like,
uh-oh, this is happening, y'all. Yes, something's happening. Oh, my God. You all raced to the microphones. It was so good. It was so good. Oh, thanks. It means so much, you know, that she just represents so much to women out there, little girls, little girls, black and brown girls all over this country now know that
anything is possible. And it's so important, you know? Yeah, we'd be so lucky. We'd be so lucky to have her as vice president and then hopefully president. She's incredible. Anybody who dedicates their life to public service like that is just really remarkable. And I'm also fascinated about her husband, Doug. I want to learn about Doug. Yeah, Doug's amazing. I want to follow Doug for the next 12 years. I want to see what's going on with him. My husband's friends with Doug. He really
Really? Oh, really? We talked to him for a minute at the start. Yeah, he was hilarious. He was so cool. He was setting up her computer. He was doing all the tech stuff, right? He's the greatest guy. He was super funny. And they have great kids. And we said, what's it like? He said, Jason said, the vetting process just must be pretty intense. And he just whispered. He goes, you have no idea. He looked hot straight into the camera. It was the only time he did it.
Yeah. Can you even imagine? Would y'all ever want to run for office? I know y'all asked that on the show, but I wonder. I mean, these guys said that I could never be the prime minister of Canada, which I took great umbrage with. Yeah, I think with your dual citizenship, you've kind of screwed yourself out of both. I'm screwed out of both. Yeah. Yeah.
Reese, what about you? Because you already act like you're president of so many companies. You know what I mean? You have that about you. You have that intelligence and charm and likeability and all of those things that are needed. And people look up to you and they listen to you because you are an influencer. Oh, thanks for saying that. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I think you'd get a lot of the vote. You'd be a senator like this. Right? Yeah, I mean it. I mean it. You should do it. Yeah, I mean our senators.
It's become very low in this country. Sonny Bono was one of our congressmen. Yeah, wait a second. We don't have to say that the bar is low for Reese. No, I mean, I'm just saying it's like, you know, come on. Yeah, you'd be great. If you ever get bored of killing it in this industry. I love what we do. I feel so lucky to do with this. So you would never want to do that?
I mean, I wouldn't say never because I don't know where I'm going to be when I'm, you know, 65. The thing that's seductive about the whole notion of running for politics for anybody, I'm sure, is you look at some of these problems and you just think the answer is so simple. Well, I think it needs a better representation and balance, too. I mean, women are 50% of the population, but we're not 50% of the representation in government, which is bizarre, particularly when they're adjudicating over our bodies. Yeah. And...
And the lack of representation of people of color who make up a large, almost majority of this country. It's true. What about balance? You know, just yin and yang. Male, female balance. I love all the countries that have handled COVID well are all run by women. Run by women, yeah. So, like, you know, full stop. That's all you need to say. Well, I think women have a different relationship to power. Yeah.
I mean, Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, that's interesting. My company has, you know, it's all women, right? No, there's men there too. Um, yeah. And, uh, get them out of there.
Come join us. But it's interesting how no one needs to be the number one. We sort of pass a baton almost, you know, it's always kind of deferring power or sharing responsibility. So it's almost this power balance and that there's no one person sort of
dictating or mandating exactly what's going to happen. It's like collective ideas. And it works really well for, they're actually, someone's doing a case study at it at one of the big business schools. What about, about the, about the, about our company Hello Sunshine. Oh, gotcha. Hello Sunshine. Yeah. You know, so we've got to change the way and what you're talking about is changing the way, changing our perspective on how we look at things and how. Well, yeah. And just listen. Yeah. Just listen. Yeah. Sean, Jesus.
What? What? What'd you say? Reese, how are you managing your kids during this pandemic? Are you like you are you pulling your hair out, trying to keep them from having play dates with a family that might not be as isolated as you guys? I mean, I'm asking because I'm dealing with it myself. I know you're a great mom. So I love your sweet girls. Your decisions as a parent are probably better than mine. So I want to know what you're doing.
I don't know about that. But I think the hardest piece is I have a daughter in college, right? So I have a daughter in college and I have a teenage son who's 16, going to be 17. And, you know, it's easy to keep my seven-year-old at home. But I think a big piece of...
um, being a person that age is social development. I mean, the depression that happened at the beginning of this pandemic between the two of them, not being able to see anybody and, and just, you know, trusting my daughter is back at college, you know, and she has, she, but I trust her implicitly, but we talk very frequently. We check in. They have classes. She's in class. She's not in classes, but she has small study groups here and there. And, um,
That's just, it's terrifying to me, guys. Like, I don't know. And I miss her like crazy. But I just keep checking in with her like, you know, you got to do this. I know I'm going to sound like a broken record, but don't do this. Don't do that. The seven-year-old, that's because I've got an eight-year-old and a 13-year-old. And the eight-year-old, I would love to figure out how to...
get into some sort of like a one almost like look online for like clean play groups, you know, like I'm like shopping for friends for a situation where she can get that social interaction because. Well, we're doing a pod. We're doing a school pod with like six other families and we're starting next.
next week when we get back and yeah, everybody's clean. Everybody's been vetted. And they take their temperature. I test everybody myself. I take, I, I test everybody and I tempt them all myself and I keep them locked in my garage. Yeah.
But it's great. And then the kids, now they can go over and they can get their learning from school. And we hired this friend's sister who's an out-of-work teacher to come and be, to help them. Because the first part of the pandemic, the kids were, like you said, they were going crazy. They couldn't see their friends. And they also didn't want, they had me or their mom, both of us were like over their shoulders. And they're like, ah, like they didn't want to take direction of schoolwork from us.
from us. Oh, by the way, Will, like also no one's talking about this, which is
families that are divorced. Yeah. Like this is really stressful. Very stressful. Really stressful. And if you don't have a good relationship with your ex partner, it is, I mean, I know people who are losing their minds over fighting on top of fighting and it's really, really stressful. And stressful on the kids so much and on them too. There's a big, there are so many mental health implications here. We're really lucky that we bubbled up together and we're good friends. We live on the same street and all that kind of stuff. But yeah,
There are a lot of people who that's not the case. And it's going to be a while before we really start seeing what sort of effect this has had on families, like you said. Absolutely. I try to share a lot of resources on Instagram for parents, like Child Mind Institute in New York does some online services. That's really great. There's a lot of great sources. And, you know, hopefully you can look to people who are sharing stuff. Yeah, that's awesome.
So Reese, now you did a Friends arc, did you not, where you were in front of an audience? Would you ever do a sitcom in front of a live audience? It scared the living crap out of me. Really? No rush? No fun rush? No, I was terrified. And thank God. What about theater? You've never done theater? No. Too scary. What about Saturday Night Live?
You did Saturday Night Live right after 9-11. I did. I done Saturday Night Live twice. I was the first person after 9-11. What poor taste. Poor taste. Too soon. Too soon. Lauren was like, we have to do this. America needs to laugh. No, you're going to do it. America wants to laugh. We're just going to do it. I'm not doing it. No, you're doing it. Man, you're doing it. Why are you in my bedroom? You're doing it.
I'm always trying to imitate Lorne Michaels, the head of Saturday Night Live. But can I tell y'all, Saturday Night Live is the scariest thing I've ever done. It's the scariest job I've ever done that I haven't been paid for. That was Amy's first show. It was Amy's first show. I know. I was there. You were great. You were there? Of course.
Oh, I was so bad, Will. You're so jealous. No, you were great. I was so nervous. You were fantastic. That was great. You know how some people just nail SNL? A lot of people don't. It just wasn't me. There was a lot of pressure. Like you said, there was a lot of pressure. Everybody was watching. It was incredibly well viewed. And, you know, there was so much pressure in that moment. And you did great. Are you kidding? Come on. Great. You're kidding. Somebody should talk about, like, I thought that 40-year special was cool, how people talked about what those feelings are like. Yeah.
I loved it. It's terrifying. Don't you think it was scary? So you would not do a sitcom because you think it would be too frightening every week, week after week? I'm too scared. I think you would love it. I think you'd have fun. Well, now, look. After you've already taken over the world...
Because is there anything left you want to tackle? Yes. I would love to have a bookstore. Are you serious? And then sell tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little artisanal chocolates. Oh, Jesus. We'll be right back after these messages. Yeah. Reese, can I talk to you? We're talking with Martha Stewart. Can we get the number for your therapist real quick? Because I think we would have an emergency situation. So tiny chocolates at a bookstore.
Yes. Do you think that having a bookstore would be the best way to attract a chocolate lover? Connoisseur? Yeah, somebody who's in the market to buy chocolate. Oh, I have another dream. You guys are going to like this one. Okay. Okay, this is my retirement plan. I am going to become a farmer and I'm only going to plant peaches and call it Reese's Peaches.
I'm on board. I'll invest. I'm kind of on board with that. Because you can't be sad on a peach farm. No, you can't. I probably could. I love a peach salad in the summer. How good is a peach salad? I mean, who doesn't like peaches? Who doesn't like peaches? No, I love it. Maybe you could sell the peaches at the bookstore with the chocolate. Now you're talking. You know what I'm saying? Diversify. But the chocolates will be at the counter as people are buying their books. You can get the chocolates anywhere, okay? Relax. Relax.
I'll send you the chocolate. Don't worry about it. I just like making tiny chocolates. I think it's really fun. Wait, wait. You also cook like crazy? I'm not a great cook, but I can cook. Okay, because here's my image of Reese Witherspoon. You wake up and you don't stop moving until you go to sleep at night. I bet there's a bunch of little yellow birds in your bedroom, though, too, when you wake up, right? Yeah. Some blue ones.
The energy of a squirrel who drank coffee is me all day. And I'll bet you never got a B in school, right? Not a lot. Never, God.
You're the best. I failed, though. I only got a straight F. What? In calculus. Oh, well. Who needs that? I never got that high. I think I made it to Algebra 2. And now my kid is in second grade. I can't do the math that he's doing. I can't do it. It's tough, isn't it? It's tough for Will, too. It's really... It is tough. I went to a math...
I went to a, they had like a math symposium for when Archie was in fourth grade to talk about how they were redoing the math. And I was like, I got to go with a bunch of other parents. And I kept sticking my hand up. I'm like, wait. Singapore math. It was. I don't know. It was tough. It was tough, man. It sounds amazing.
Reese, look at Fine Lady. Thank you for being here today. I'm so happy for everything that you've accomplished in your life. You make us all feel lazy. And I hope you're getting everything your heart desires because you deserve everything. Sean, you're not lazy. Sean also has the energy of a squirrel who just drank coffee but then ate two pints of ice cream and sat on the couch.
So we took it all down. That's me. I need a sugar nap. Yeah. That was, I think that was the fastest hour I have felt. Yeah. I know. That was really fast. You're amazing, Reese. Well, I love you all. We love you. I'm just such a huge fan of all of you. I've gotten to work with most of you. Sean. I know. It's going to happen.
We just love each other from afar. Yeah, do a sitcom together. Yeah, it's going to happen. Put me in. Put me in, Coach. Convince her to do a sitcom with you. I will be all over that. Reese, you have honored us with your presence. You're fantastic and interesting and cool and all of the above. And thank you for coming and joining us, idiots. We really appreciate it. Thank you, Reese. Say hi to Jim. I will do. Okay. Bye, y'all. Bye. See ya.
That is such a special lady. Yeah. It really is. Doesn't she make you feel like, God, I've done nothing? I know. And I don't think I've ever been that happy or energetic or ready to take on the day. You've definitely never been that energetic. Never. And your face has never been that happy, for sure. I mean, I felt that happy. I just haven't told my face yet. You've never told your face that. Yeah. But...
But she is like, it is, it's amazing how many different things she's doing at once at all times. And doing it well. And doing it at such a high level. Yeah, she's got the Midas touch. It's unbelievable. And whether it's movies or like multiple television programs that are kind of seemingly running one into the next on HBO or on Apple Plus and like,
Frankly, it's kind of awe-inspiring. It's pretty like, wow. And it inspires me to work harder. I hope so. I was hoping that something would finally inspire you, Sean. Yeah, me too. Jesus fucking Christ. One more day at this rate. I mean, it's unreal. You wear an R2-D2 t-shirt and just the signals that you're sending is just, don't hire me, is all that. Can you?
This is help me, not help me, Obi-Wan. Help me, anybody. You're my only hope. I'm not feeling the force. Help me. Just change my circumstances. I'm doing a Miss Universe project, too. There's a script I'm doing with your dad. Oh, he couldn't even get that one out. Please finish it. Finish it, Will. Oh, come on. I couldn't finish it. I couldn't. I couldn't. I was going to do it the last time that you did that to us. You dropped your dad leaving a few times. I'm sorry.
mid-conversation, which is so rude. I love it. And the guest is always like, Jesus, Sean. Ha ha ha.
Okay. Guys, thank you for being such great hosts with my guest today, Reese Witherspoon. She was great. Sean, what a great... Truly was the fastest hour, I have felt. It was. It was great. She was great. Okay, bye. No, wait a second. Where are you going? Not yet. Why are you leaving so quickly? What's wrong? What do you got? Something you got to do today? Listen, Sean, let me just say a couple of things. First... Yeah. Bye. Smart. Smart.
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