"Melissa McCarthy"
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Hello, welcome to Smart List. I am Jason Bateman, one of the less smart hosts. Even less smart is Will Arnett and truly dumb is Sean Hayes. We each have invited, well, one of us invites a guest per week. The other two don't know who that person is. Some of it's going to be funny. Hopefully you won't cry and hopefully you learn a little something. So let's get started. Smart List

Don't threaten me with the record button, okay?

I don't give a shit if we're recording right now. We're doing a podcast, and I'm having my candy. Uh-oh, what is it today, Will? It's always Reese's. Reese's peanut butter cups. God help us. Not sorry. It wasn't on the first episode. It was. It was Cadbury. No, it was not. How many of those do you eat during the show? How many of those do you eat? I don't know, Sean. How many? No, that's you, dude. That's what you sound like. You know?

God. That's weird because I can hear myself in my headphones. I don't really sound like that. What are you, an investigative reporter? And the subject is how much chocolate do I eat? I don't know. Look at his face. I would say four. Hey, our special guest, you're going to be really excited about this. Our special guest...

is a eight-time congressperson from the state of Illinois. What? Probably not properly said. A graduate... An eight-time congressperson? Congressperson, a graduate of Oxford University in Oxford, England. Wow. Also a current professor emeritus at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Who is this? Please say hello to our guest...

Melissa McCarthy. Thanks for doing just everything I'm not. It really, so it's like wah, wah. I love it. Hi, guys. Hi. I guess it's the funniest person I know, I think. I think you're the funniest person I know. Melissa, to me, you are all of those things. You are. Why, thank you. I'll just say she's one of my favorite people in the whole world. The whole world. You're one of my, honestly. You're really doing a center part, Bateman.

Well, listen, I'm not putting, I haven't put product in my hair since March 15th. And so what you're getting a chance to see is the true water buffalo. I like you with longer hair. I think it looks good, actually. It's good, too. Yeah. I bet it looks good. When you're brushing it out, I bet it looks good. But then when you put it on, does it have the same consistency? Right. First of all. Also, when that humidity hits, forget it. It just curls up into a ball. I literally have not had a brush in this hair since I was 12.

Truly. That's not true. I swear on my kid's life. You have hair for like six people on top of your head. That's a lot of hair. Yeah, somebody else brushes it out when it's on the stump. I mean, this is the zipper one. Oh, not the snaps. The snaps, it takes a little bit longer. Yeah, and the wind. But the zipper is good. It's a sport piece. It's nice. Wait, wait.

So this is what I didn't know. And I love finding out more about you because I just think that you're the greatest. Nobody makes me laugh the way you do. But you...

When you, you went, you graduated from high school. You went to high school in Joliet, Illinois. I did. Prison adjacent. So Dax and I shot that prison movie at the Joliet prison. I drove, we drove by the prison every day to get to high school. And my mom, whenever I would look over, my mom would always go, don't look at them. You don't want to rile them up. I'm like, I wasn't like, keep pulling.

pulling up my Catholic schoolgirl outfit. I literally would just glance over. She's like, don't look at him. You'll get him riled up. There she is again. Here's a dumb interview question, but I've always wanted to ask you, so now I've got you. How amazing is it to always work with your husband and turn out great stuff? And then what is the most difficult part? Like, do you ever just like...

Because I make these stupid, fun, dumb videos with my husband, and it almost always ends in a divorce.

Oh, my God. Yeah, almost always. Oh, we can't get it. We have to go in our corners and think about our actions. That's got to be on your side, too, because Scotty's such a nice guy. That's got to be your fault. It's definitely Sean. And you just storm out. It's both of us. Yeah, no, we're just like, well, then maybe we shouldn't do it. And then we go away and then we count to 10 and then we come back. We've never had, we've never, I love it. It's my favorite thing on earth.

And we've never had a fight about it. I think we always like we talk about whatever we're doing so much and often we've written it together. So we really know it. Yeah. And I think neither one of us really has much of an ego in that way that it's like, oh, if you don't like it, that's probably a red flag. And let's think of something else. That's nice. You guys used to write sketches together. Like how long have you had the groundlings? Yeah, you did.

So you guys would write stuff together and then you got married and then you guys started making movies and TV shows and stuff like that. And then you started working with some directors that maybe were not so you didn't really like. And you were like, oh, honey, I wish you were directing this thing. It's like, great, I will. That's exactly. It was just that easy. We just it all happened in like a week.

No, I actually have loved almost all of the directors I've worked with. Like, I mean, I've done a million things with Paul Feig and Ted Melfi. And so I'm pretty lucky in that way. But it was really when we wrote Tammy, it was the first time somebody asked us, like, would you want to write something? And Ben and I had already written Tammy. And we were going through all these directors and people, you know, when you meet with someone, they have kind of a very different idea of how to shoot it. And I think they wanted me to be like,

wackier in it. And I was like, well, she's kind of a mess. It's a little sad, too. And then it was finally like we couldn't land on a director that really felt right. And we got an amazing opportunity where they're like, we were both supposed to direct it at first.

And then it's so complicated to do with two people that he just did it because he's the man. Sure, sure. And that's how it works in America. You guys are so great working together too. And the fact that you can travel with the girls too. I mean, it's just too good. It's pretty.

be dreamy we mean we live and travel like we're circus people but it's great you hit on something really great which is you said you know that they wanted it to be sort of bigger or crazier or whatever and and of course you've had incredible success i'm actually going to say something serious for once the guys are about to lose their minds cue the music first of all listen do you remember the first time we met oh boy is this a serious part i just thought about the first time we met

I'm going to see if you get it right. I was wondering if it was with Dax. No. Close. Like if you came to Groundlings. It was with somebody else. I was working with... Santa Claus. Christina Applegate. Oh, is that the first... I think so. Is that when they first met you? That was the first time we actually like formally met. Well, she's a real peach. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, but I was going to say...

So you so people you've had incredible success being super hilarious. But also you've had a lot of success being very dramatic. You've you know, you were you've been nominated for two Oscars. That's incredible. One was for Bridesmaids for being funny. But the other one for Can You Ever Forgive Me that I thought was really such a even though you were nominated, it was still a very unheralded success.

You were so good. Unbelievable. Incredible, incredible performance. Oh, God, you guys. Loved it. Jason and I, we saw you. We spent a minute. We had dinner one night and had lunch when you were in New York. I think you were probably shooting that at that time. I think I was. I didn't realize that you were doing that. And I'm such a, I was such a fan of that movie. I was just, I found it to be so moving.

And Bateman's so jealous that you got nominated. Don't tell us this in the interview. Look how craven his eyes are. You should see the hate mail from Bateman I get. It's intense. The voodoo doll's got pins all over it. Even though he cuts out the magazine lettering, you know it's coming from Bateman. I know it's him. But do you, now that you've kind of done that a few times and you've

really got that muscle, like, is that something that you're going to do more of? Or is it something you even think about? You just kind of do what you want to do in the moment? I mean, ideally, until I'm run out of town, which will inevitably happen. But, I mean, I think doing both is so fun. It's like, I always kind of, it's really, I fall in love with the character. And if it's a drama or comedy, doesn't really occur to me until later. Right, right. I was going to ask something along those same lines because of

You're so great at Mike and Molly and we all know that like a the schedule and the lifestyle of a sitcom on television is pretty fantastic because it's it's like going to the office and you you don't have to you know, you're not doing 14 15 16 hours a day. It's like we're the office and you're the boss. Yeah. Yeah, and and every day is half day and every day is half day office. And do you miss that?

I miss, I loved having a live audience and I miss the people. I loved everybody I worked with on that show. We were all really super close, kind of right from the get-go, we just all really clicked and there's such a great group of people. I think I'd love to do something that is that format without that need for like that certain rhythm. It was really hard to, because I had never done it.

And like even doing like the rehearsals for everybody and ahead of time, they'd always be like, that has to get a lot more energy. And I always say on the day because I like say that I'm like, well, I do a version of it, but I'll do it better. Same. Yeah. Right. Because I never wanted to do it full. I mean, it's exhausting. Yeah. And I just think if I don't want to do it right in rehearsal and then bomb for the camera. Right. And you can't get that first reaction back.

Yeah. So I was always like, I know how to cross a room and I can say the line. Yeah. So it was always kind of... But do you? But I don't. And that's where the acting comes in. But I can act it. Myself? No. But...

But I would like to try it and have a looser, non-traditional sitcom rhythm. Yeah. And still get it, like, you know, still have those same hours and still work in front of a live audience because I thought that was what was so incredibly fun. Well, here's what I love about you, too. I mean, you're just like a pioneer in so many ways. And in comedy, just because of being you and like...

You know, I remember... And also because you came across America and it took you five months to get through the mountains. Yeah, that's true. And I only ate one cousin, but they were kind of terrible anyway. That's so crazy she's a pioneer that way, too. No, but because when you... When you... It's so dumb. So dumb. When you... When I was shooting this movie in Atlanta... Oh, this is fantastic, by the way. This is a great story. I was shooting The Three Stooges...

I heard the applause. Yeah, thank you. Just somebody, our listener clapped. And in Atlanta, and I go by myself across the street to go see Bridesmaids. The weekend it came out. And I was like, oh my God, that's Melissa Mc... She's still the... She's like... I know you've heard it your whole life because it kind of helped launch you, not that you weren't huge after Gilmore Girls. I mean, you were a huge star after that.

But I just was like, this is so incredible. Like this, I don't know. You just, I was so proud of you and so excited for you. And then in that same mall, a week later, I go see the Green Lantern with Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. And I walk into the same mall that I saw Bridesmaids and there's Jason and Ryan walking

shooting the change up uh-huh and i was turned and i walked right in the middle of the scene and i'm like hey hey jason's going on it's like what are you what are you doing here and i'm like oh ryan i'm gonna go see your movie upstairs oh my god craziest thing that's so bizarre and then you saw it isn't the story you saw it and then came down you came down and you said ryan can i talk to you for a second yeah after you saw it right is the picture locked i have ideas is the

What about how I saw Bridesmaids at, even before it was in the theaters, I saw it at one of those premieres thingies, and I immediately, I was working on a script about identity theft where this guy gets his identity stolen from this other guy, and I called the producers real quick and I said, hey,

I just went to a premiere of something last night. It hasn't even come out yet. This woman steals the whole thing. They're like, we know what a premiere is, dude. Let's switch the role to a woman and let's approach this woman before she blows up. We can get her at a real price. We hammered her down. We paid her $3.50 an hour under minimum wage.

I remember you called me and we went and had lunch and you ordered a chicken salad. Of course you did. Boy, I'll never forget it. Shocker. Where'd you go? Soho House. Oh. Oh. Fancy. Gross. Really fancy. How did you not walk away after that? How gross. I was basically just trying to get like a lunch out of him. Yeah. Did he take his salad to go? Did he take his salad? Because I'd be really embarrassed.

By the way, I'm talking with my mouth full of food. Yeah, really. We want to swallow? He talked with his mouth full of salad. Bateman loves to chat. He loves to stuff his mouth full of salad and then go, so...

Well, it keeps it casual, you know, it keeps it, it keeps it real casual. You do like to shovel in a salad like no one else I've ever seen. It's crazy, right? I don't know where it started. It's steady. It's constant. And I'm always like, it's not going to run out of the bowl. You can take it down a couple of matches. It's not going anywhere. I got to eat it before it stops being cold and before the lettuce gets wilty.

That's the race. Do you see when he has the big bowl of it? I've had to witness just like the huge silver kitchen bowl that you'd. I'll eat it with a spoon. I don't care. Yeah.

Missy, I have another dumb question. Yes. What, like when you were growing up, like who did you were like, oh my God, she's so funny. I wish I was like her or like, oh my God, I wish I'd give anything to be in that show. I mean, Madeline Kahn made me crazy. Gilda Radner and, you know, everybody on SNL. I just was like, they're so... Also Carol Burnett. Like, I just loved how...

I love that feeling of when she would, she would do something that was so embarrassing that I would get embarrassed. Ah,

And I just... Did you look at any of the dramatic actresses and think that that's something you want to do? Or is that something that became more appealing to you as you got more and more sort of accomplished with comedy and just wanted to challenge something new? I never thought of... I never thought about doing that. I just loved... I really loved, like, the character work when someone could be someone so kind of peculiar and...

I think because I was so sick of, you know, really until kind of recently, most female parts were always like so perfect and so coiffed and everything was so kind of, not everything, but so many parts were kind of so boring because you're just like, well, you're just always pleasant and nice and there's no bumps and bruises. So when I would see women doing comedic characters that were irritating or weird or bizarre, I just thought, oh my God, that's so much more fun.

To this day, it's still so much more interesting to me. I don't know how to play pleasant. But your approach to your characters, it takes so much acting talent to do the kinds of comedic characters that you do and make them believable, which is what makes them so funny. So then do you find the dramatic characters, I put in quotes, that that's somewhat easier because the bar to be believable is much lower because the eccentricities are less?

No, I don't think they're the less, I don't think they necessarily are less eccentric or specific. I think you don't have the added thing. You can just be believable. So if you feel grounded, I think you're doing it. The thing that makes comedy so hard is you have to be believable and then you're swinging for the fences. You're trying to land a joke than any joke, the best joke in the world out of 100 people.

60 will love it. 20 don't get it. 10 are offended. You know, it's so hard. And then the shoe and then the Sean Hayes. So then the drama is easier then. Yeah.

I think it's easier to be considered like that was a successful role. Right. Because comedy is so subjective, even though it really, I think it's, I mean, you guys all know it's, it's harder. Yeah. Yeah. Well, dying is easy. Comedy is hard. Have you guys heard that? No, no. And so, so no, and nobody's heard that and nobody wants to hear it. Do you think there's any, knowing how hard it is to land a joke that way, do you think Sean will ever do it?

Like, will he ever live? I think we're going to go just right there. And I was like, this is a different show than I thought. As I pull my pants up to my nipples. Wait, Misty, I want to ask you something else. Yes. Here's what's so cool about you and so amazing is like, you know, all of the acting roles and all the accolades. And then you go on and you be this producer and this unbelievable producer that, you

You know, like what made you want to do that? And it is kind of so inspiring. And you are such like, you seem to me, although we've never worked together and I hope we do one day. I know, isn't that odd? Isn't that crazy? I feel like in my heart we have, so. But so like, what made you want to do it? Because to me, you seem like you'd be the most incredible boss. You'd be like respectful and- I'm a monster.

No, you're not. Only to those who deserve it, right, Melissa? It's true. If you deserve it, you'll taste my fist. No, you know what? I think it's because, especially the whole time I was in New York for probably seven years just doing really just all dramatic work.

And started doing stand-up and then the rooms freaked me out because people were the hecklers. I just, I didn't want to fight people. I just wanted to tell dumb bits. Yeah. And so it's part of the comedy rooms are like,

There is a guy in every single room. I never went on one night ever when, as you're walking to stage, there's a guy that's like, take your top off! Every single time. Or like, show us your blue, you know. And every single time I'm like, are you the same guy? Are you the sad, lonely guy that's like, you've come here and like, you

Do you really want me to take my shirt off? Like, I'll do it. That'll fix you. By the way, I hope it's the same guy because if it is, it's a good bit. It was it was Ben and it was it was that was that was his big move. Now I know that's why he looked familiar to me. Well, but do you want to be because you're so good at that? Do you want to do other things that where you're the boss?

Yeah, I think it's also from doing so many plays. Like, it was always like, I'd produce, you know, I say produce very loosely. Basically, I'd pick a play. You'd get a cheap place to do it. You'd carry folding chairs up, you know, three flights because I got a deal on this theater, which is really a rehearsal room. Right.

And I did that for so many years. And then even at Groundlings, like you do all your, you're responsible for your own. If you want to do a show, you have to do it. You have to get the costumes, you have to get the people to co-see it. So kind of, I think I didn't know when you started that I wasn't just supposed to do everything. And also I started on sets as a PA. Yeah.

So to this day, I still weirdly like if somebody's like, we got to get the coffee table moved. I'm like, I'm on it. And like I'm forever being asked to stop moving furniture. I love that. Well, I was standing next to the coffee table. I know. It's like union rules, union rules. I can move the chair. I think it's my Midwestern nature of like, I'll just do it. And I find it all super creative. I like all the monotony of...

What's the rug going to be? Where do we want to shoot? What's the location? I love the whole process. Melissa, the start of doing acting, comedy, what have you. Sure. Did it come from like looking at the funny actors on SNL and Carol Burnett or did it start earlier than that as sort of like trying to figure out who I am? So I'm going to pretend I'm different people. What are you hiding from, Melissa? It's me. I'm projecting. Missy, what are you running from? Oh, my God.

This is the place to tell it when I killed that. No one will see you cry on the radio. You're like, if only they would call me to be on so I could reveal the true me. No, I, again, I went into it like in a weird way. I moved to New York to go to FIT and to do women's fashion. I didn't know that. That's so cool. That's still something you pursue, right? You got a clothing line? Yeah, it's still something I do. Oh, wow.

And I, the first, I've always loved it. And that's what all through high school, through college, like a little bit, I went to college. I was in clothing and textiles. Oh, right. Because you have your clothesline. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah.

And when I got there, I moved in with one of my closest friends from back in Illinois, Brian Atwood. He's a great shoe designer now. And he had a village voice. And I think the second, maybe my first full night in New York, he's like, you're going and you're going to do stand up. I was like, all right. I mean, I was 20. So I was like, how hard can that be? I also didn't know you're supposed to prepare for it. I didn't know you're supposed to write.

I just kind of got up on stage. I had like two pretty stiff drinks. I got up on stage and was like... You just freestyled? Yeah, that's what I thought you did. I didn't know anything. I was just oblivious. You're like, Brian told me.

And then it was really fun. So that's kind of the whole way I got into it. Wow. Like two days later, I was like, I don't think I'm finishing college, mom and dad. No way. My favorite thing to hear is your best, your like favorite audition story gone wrong and your favorite like theater mishap. Like, cause you said you went up and winged it. Like what was the worst? Worst audition I have to say was I went in for like, wow.

Like it was like some Western. It was like a sequel to some very, you know, harsh Western. And it was a scene where,

where I was supposed to be, I was found wandering naked in the desert because I had been raped by like 12, uh, American Indians. I read for the same part. Yes. Yes. Um, and then I'd watched like three of my three children be murdered in front of me. And I was like despondent wandering in the desert. So I did this part and it was so funny. So funny. Um,

And I did the scene and it was like, you know, it was like a full hit. Like you were, I was mentally like out of my mind for obvious reasons. And when I finished and I was like, I felt really connected to that. The guy goes, you know, some good actors, they can do something, but they don't have to overdo. They don't have to do so much like you did. You know, when good actors do that and he just kept referring and I'm still kind of like,

because I'd been crying so hard during the audition. So I don't quite have my breath back. And he just kept mentioning, like, you know when you watch good actors...

and do this. And I just said, well, I'm sorry. I guess I just didn't. I guess if I were raped and my children were killed in front of me and I was left wandering in the desert, I guess I would be more upset than those good actors. Because that's really what I thought. Did you say that? That's perfect. Yes, I did. Because I was so confused. I was like, was I supposed to play it casually? And I just walked out crying. Unbelievable. He sounds like a sweet guy. He was great.

He was great. And then the worst theater one was Ben and I. Groundlings? Oh, Groundlings. And the second we were, the site was just about to open up and then we were going to enter. And literally like it is maybe within the same second that they're about to open up. And Ben and I just look at each other and as if it's just occurred to us, I was like, oh,

Oh, my God, this isn't funny at all. And the glings open. We were in matching outfits. We were in, like, white jeans and, like, yellow turtlenecks and matching curly wigs. Like, there was no... There was no...

scene written. I did. We bought like funny outfits and I knew it. And to make it even worse, we were going to get like glamor shots as a couple. And I'm like, there's no point to the scene. There's no, there's no, there's nothing there. And so about halfway through the scene, by the way, the audience was like, you guys suck. Like the palpable energy of them wanting us to go away. So we were sitting up on these blocks and,

like posing and doing like, we just had to keep doing like zany poses while the audience like hated us. And so I flipped back. I did a black flip off of the box and I hid down behind them and I reached my hand up above the box and gave the signal to the light booth to black it out because I couldn't take it anymore.

And it was just my hand, my like yellow turtleneck arm coming up, doing this motion for them to turn off the lights. And they wouldn't. And I looked up, I peeked up over the box and I saw these two sweet guys in the lighting booth just laughing hysterically and saying no. So then I had to go, whoops, I fell. Let's begin again. And we had to pick up the scene that I'd now made even longer.

And finished doing more poses. And then the scene blacked out and we just walked off stage in silence. Oh, my God. Because no one clapped. I would kill to see that scene. I wouldn't give anything to see that. I would give anything. It was just awful. Tell us about your goth period. You've told me little pieces about it before. You had a goth period. I want it again.

Hey, wait, did you ever go dance at Medusa's downtown? Oh my God, I was there every weekend. So was I. Oh my God. We've probably danced with really surly faces together. That's so crazy. Right, totally.

Would you get up on the scaffolding? Absolutely. I needed to be looked at. Oh, my God. Yeah, I would dance my ass off. You needed to be looked at. What kind of intoxicants happen at this place? Medusa's was a juice bar. It was a juice bar. What does that go for? We pounded alcohol before going in. Uh-huh. Don't do that, kids. Stay in school. Any Whippet hits or things like that? No, not Whippets. Just like Boone's Farm, Everclear, classy stuff. Sure. Yeah.

Sure. Stuff like that. No ecstasy. There's no ecstasy. No, not in high school. None of that. Well, because Jason said goth, and then I'm thinking Chicago, and then I was thinking Medusa's. Yes. That's so crazy. We went literally every weekend. That's crazy. So maybe you just didn't recognize Melissa because she was so...

It looked like if Bjork and Susie and the Banshees and like Robert Smith all jointly had a baby. The dream come true. Are there pictures? There's got to be pictures. There's not that many because we didn't photograph ourselves every second because it was like...

Like, I would say 16-ish, 17, 18. And then, like, through my first two years of college, like, super, like, full-length, like, black cloaks, huge platforms when no one wore platforms. Amazing. And I was like, can I get rubber stacked on to make me even taller? Wow. And just total kabuki. Like, black hair and... But isn't that so hilarious? I have so few photos from 17 to 25. So few. I know.

of myself. I have lots of other people. Oh, you do? They're not great. You're not missing anything. No. So this period of your life is fairly undocumented. Thank God. Yes. Thank God. And it was just me. We would like go to... We lived in gay bars and...

Like anywhere where you could dance. I'm sure we hung out. Did you go to Berlin? Yes. Constantly. How did we not see each other? I bet for sure we danced. Berlin is a bar, not the city. Yes. Which I just, like a year or two ago, we were driving. I was in Chicago and I literally screamed as if we'd hit someone. And I was there, I think we were working on something. Yeah.

And I made the driver pull over and like people were rattled because I didn't mean to, but I screamed in such a weird way. And I was like, oh my God, it's Berlin. It's still there. And I took a picture in front of it, but they were like, we thought that literally someone got like hit by a car. And I was like, no, it's Berlin. It was like the best club and the best music ever. I loved it. That's great. I can't believe it. I'm sure we were there at the exact same time. Isn't that weird? That's so crazy. Yeah, that is crazy. Oh.

Melissa, are you loving all this home time? Like what's a perfect day for you now that you're at home? Like do you sleep in late? Do you go to bed late? No, I get up super early. Yeah? I get up super early and I go and I sit out in my yard and I have like a couple coffees. You got a laptop with you out there? Yeah. Sometimes I'll listen to like a podcast. Sometimes I'll like I'll look through the paper. Sometimes I watch a Bosch.

I'm really hitting Bosch pretty hard. You're hitting Bosch? Bosch. Oh, the show. The show. Bosch. Yeah, I'm hitting Bosch like pretty hard. So it's like 6 a.m. I'm out there just watching Bosch.

And that's on the outdoor TV or is it on a laptop? Just on my iPad. That's what I'm doing at 6.15 or I'm like reading the paper. It's like it's one or the other. And I garden. Oh, wow. Physical paper. Do you get a paper delivery? No, not now. Not anymore. I love a real paper, but. Sure. Did you say garden? I'm gardening like crazy. Are you really? What are you growing? Vegetables or fruit? This just officially turned into an NPR show.

Yeah, I know. I'm proving that I'm the world's most boring person. No. I've gotten super into things that you can regrow. Like if you cut romaine in leeks and celery, you can set them in water and they regrow. Like a celery nub will regrow a whole thing of celery. Ooh.

I'm into that. Really? And I keep doing it and I'm fascinated with it. I have like 20 growing around my yard and I have, you know, tomatoes and artichokes. I'm doing that with my organs. I'm doing that with my organs in the bathroom. I'm doing that. Listen, Bateman. Just a little tip of it in a dish.

Just tell Bateman what you're growing, and he'll crack that window behind him and yell at his gardeners to grow the same thing, and you guys will have the same stuff. Yell at them. Yeah, yeah. Now, are you taking these vegetables to Farmer's Market, or are you cooking them? Yeah. Yeah, she's out in Brentwood every Saturday for six hours, Bateman. Come on down. Go fuck yourself, Bateman. Jesus Christ.

And I bargain hard. Yeah. Are the girls helping you or are they making fun of you? No, they make fun of me. They make fun of me. And like every time like I bring in, I'm like, look, this is a bowl of strawberries from our, they're like, that's great. Yeah. I'm like, but we grew these. Like I grew these for you. And they're like, yeah, okay. Now, Melissa McCarthy, do you, do your children show any signs of wanting to do what mom and dad does? I think so. I don't know if they want to admit it like,

Viv, my 13-year-old, she played me in something that we just filmed. And she had like a pretty sizable part in it. So good. And it was so, and she was really like strangely good. Like I was so nervous to be like, I don't want her to feel pressured. And like, what are we doing? And leading up to it, I was like, oh my God, I'm ruining, like, what are we doing? We said we would never let them do anything until they were like an adult. And she really wanted to. And it

And she was so weirdly good at it, like not trying, just like really kind of like you could see her, like if somebody would say something to her, you watched her like hear them. And then like sometimes she would improvise, like just a really earnest line back. And I was like, what is going on? Like people were like, holy God, I ask her if she wants to do more. And she's like, I don't know.

I don't know. And my little one's like, yes, she wants to be an actor and a chiropractor. There are a lot of those in LA. There's a lot. Diamond dozen. What is the first and strongest piece of advice you'd give to both of them if they said, yes, here I go, I'm doing it? Jason, have yours shown interest?

I feel like it's starting to come on. Do you think so? Yeah, and it's probably the influence of those devils over there at your house. My terrible thing? Your terrible children. I would just, I think the only advice, I would just say do everything that interests you and don't worry about the outcome and just keep working at it. Don't expect to work hard.

Period. Just do the work. Yeah. Do the work and the job will come later. Right. What terrible advice. What a terrible fucking advice. I say expect everything the world owes you a living and expect it. Yeah. Yeah. And get a shorter short. Yeah. Get a shorter short. Tan up and get a shorter short, girls. The only thing that should be shorter than your shorts is your fuse. Have a real short fuse. Yeah.

I was like, what should be shorter? It's a real powder keg over here all the time. I got four boys now as well. Oh my God. Yeah. And it's a, it's a real, yeah, it's a real powder keg over here. Uh, are you getting up? Are you helpful?

Yes, don't I look helpful? No. You don't. You look like you've been sleeping since noon. No, I know I look like I do, but these guys know I am a very hands-on. Yeah, it makes us all look bad. Really? I am literally 11 year in a row dad of the year. It's true. It's true. I don't know how you do it. Will, do your kids show any signs?

Archie doesn't. Who's 11? Abel does. Yeah, consistently Abel's really... Would you be into that? No. Amy and I are always saying we don't want them to have anything to do with it. And...

Why is that? You know, I don't have kids, and I hear all the time people who do have kids that are in the business don't want their kids to do the business they're doing. Why is that? Well, for me, for this particular business, it's just not a meritocracy. You know, like I wouldn't want my kid to, while they're young enough to really decide one way or the other, I'd rather them go into a line of work where...

where a diploma, a degree can guarantee a certain sort of starting salary, some sense of longevity and job security. You know, this is, it's so sort of subjective that- - Yeah, there's no job security. - That's a good, for me it's more I don't want the competition.

Because I look so young, I don't want to be going up against my own fucking kids for the same parts. That makes me want to hire your kids so desperately. I'm going to go on a real tangent to just get your kids work. Yeah. One question I've always wanted. So you made Can You Ever Forgive Me with Richard E. Grant. I think we've talked about it. One of my favorite. And I got to...

sort of spent a little bit of time with him at a certain point. He's one of the most influential guys on my career. One of the real true sort of idols I had, especially that performance in With Nell and I is my favorite film of all time. He's an amazing, amazing guy. Right? Amazing. And Marielle Heller, whom I've known for a long time through Yorma. Oh, yeah. And I've known her for a long, long time. What was that experience? Again, because I know I already gushed, I love that movie, but it was such a quiet, great movie that...

It was an impossible schedule. I mean, we shot it in, I think like 28 days or something all over New York. And there was something about, I think when Richard and I first started doing press for it and people were like, Oh my God, you shot that in like such a short time. And we're like, they always ask, did it feel rushed? Because the scenes were so didn't in Richard. And I just kept saying, Mari is so amazing that somehow we felt like we had all the rehearsal time and all the takes we wanted and,

But clearly that wasn't happening because we were moving as fast as we humanly could. But she has such an amazing way of being like concise and there wasn't an extra word or extra motion and move in that film that didn't need to be there. So we weren't shooting any excess stuff.

And the way her brain works and her taste level is like nothing I've seen. Like, I think she is just an incredible force that we know she's great. I think people, I think she will be one of the best directors ever. I agree. I think that she's an incredible director. And I think that you're right. That efficiency of words and emotion of those scenes really comes through. You get it. And there's not, it's the, it's the hallmark of a great,

I always say that about Withnail and I. There's not a wasted moment in that film. Anyway, wow. Missy, this has been such a treat having you. Thanks. This was fun, you guys. I'm very excited to see you. We love you so much. We just think you're the greatest.

I'd love to get a curling iron at that hair, though. Yeah. If we start potting up, I'm going to give you a perm with my whole, I'm going to give you a lilt. Time for the product again. It's thick, though, isn't it? It's great head hair. It really is. But I want to desperately perm it. Please.

We love you. We love your family. Please give them all a hug and a kiss from us. And thank you for saying yes to this. Enjoy the rest of your night. Thanks for asking. Yeah. All right. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye.

Truly one of the great, great women, great humans, great moms, great actors. Love her. She's just the greatest. I knew, obviously, that you guys knew her, and I just thought, you know, she'd be a real fun. It's nice to have a friend, a friend of the court on, you know? Somebody who's not just a friend of the court, but who we all admire so much. Yeah, I mean, she really is. Like, when she came on, I know I went on and on about it already, but when I saw Bridesmaids by myself in the theater. Where were you?

what's that where were you when you saw in atlanta in italy okay okay yeah are you at a mall yeah yeah oh shut up and uh no but you saw her and you go well yeah like you jason like you said you're like who i mean i knew who she was but it's like who is this all over again you just felt like this is incredible and she and she just keeps getting better and better yeah yeah she was doing i guess she was doing maybe mike and molly the first time i met her

And then I was like, oh, hey, and she was super nice. Or maybe she was on Gilmore Girls. I can't remember. But I also remember that moment of Senior and Bridesmaids and going, oh, my God. Yeah. This is a, this is just, this is like a talent overload. You know, this is it. Right. And the one line is, what was it? I apologize. I'm not quite sure which end that came out of.

Was that what it was when she burped? But then she goes on and then goes on to also has this other gear. And I found her so, that performance of hers in Can You Ever Forgive Me so quiet. Yeah, incredible. I mean, so surprising. And I think, look, she's set. Good one, Will. Love her. A lot of fun, right? Yeah, best. God, she's fun.

Love you guys. Love you. Love you guys, too. Love you guys. What do you guys got for the rest of the day? You just going to chill? I'm busy. Yeah, I'm busy. I'm back to back. In fact, I think I'm losing you. Are you going over a canyon or is it me? I'm going over a canyon. Hello? I'll be idling in the driveway. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Smart. Smart. Smart.

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