"Martin Short"
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Happy New Year to everybody, all our listener, from us here at SmartList. Happy New Year, everybody. And SmartList is our podcast show, and how would you describe it? I would describe it as a lot of talking, and then we're out. But we also have a guest. Oh, that's right. We each bring on a guest that the other two don't know about as a surprise. Yeah, that's right. Oh, gosh, I'm so happy you explained it, not Bateman, because that would have been like 40 minutes. Anyway, it's SmartList, and you're about to listen to it, so...

strap on strap in smart what you snacking on jay oh that's what i do is i put some almonds in my in my uh in my smoothie to give it a little texture hey will will will will

Hey, guys. Guys, I've been thinking on a good new opening for the show. And it goes like, hey, I'm Will. And I'm Jason. And I'm Sean. And you're listening to SmartList. SmartList. Do we say SmartList together? Let's say SmartList together. Okay. One, two, three. SmartList. No, you got to do what you're listening to. Oh, I'm Will. I'm Jason. And I'm Sean. And you're listening to SmartList. SmartList. Oh, that wasn't together. Why wouldn't you guys...

I pulled a... Hamstring? No, an old person thing last night. I grind my teeth at night. So does my eight-year-old. Do you want to borrow her mouth guard? I have...

I have a mouth guard. That's where I was going with that. You don't need to say that with such surprise. We're not shocked. Okay, okay, good. So it was a senior moment that I had where last night I'm just falling asleep. I'm like, oh, damn, I forgot to put my mouth guard in. And I'm looking all over for it in the dark, and I'm looking in my bedroom and looking in the bathroom. I go downstairs. I didn't want to wake up the new puppy that we have because he's just on a schedule. So I'm like, ah, screw it, and I go to bed. I wake up in the morning. It was in my mouth the whole time. Okay.

Jesus. Do you have a numb jaw? Some people have a numb bottom jaw. Yeah, I know. I had a pain, massive pain in my left jaw all the way up my head. You do seem to have a lot of, like, sleep blackout type stuff where, like, you're surprised and stuff happens. You find yourself in the emergency room. Like, stuff's going on. Scotty doesn't wake up. You've got major injuries. What is happening over there? I guess the question is, do you need to move next door to Cedars? Absolutely.

Absolutely. It's not a great sign. It's not a great sign. Guys, we have a heck of a guest today. We'll see. This person, of course, is Canadian. Oh, God. By birth. Damn it. They are the pride of McMaster University, one of your favorite universities, Jason and Sean. This is where they teach you how to flip burgers? Well, they prepare you for life. This person is obviously well-prepared for life.

They took all the knowledge from McMaster University and launched into the rest of their life completely prepared. Without further ado, I'd like to welcome our surprise guest, someone you know and love and I hope we will know and love even more.

Guys, it's Martin. Oh, my God. Or at least he looks a lot like him. Yeah. No, it's me. And it sounds like it's me. Oh, Martin. It's Marty Short. Jason. Very happy to have you, sir. Oh, so thrilled to be here. How nice of you to do this. Martin, where do you put the accent on the name? Mar or the tin? Tin. Well,

Martin. Do you know that I actually, truthfully, without any irony or attempted humor, for many years would say, I've got to download that. Yeah, that's... And realized that... And someone said, why download? And I'd say, why download? I mean, you know. Anyway, this can be trimmed. Hey, I'm thinking of a name for you guys. Let's hear it. The McGuire sisters. Just think about it.

I'm so excited you said yes to Will to do this. First of all, I love Will. And can I tell you, Mr. Bateman, that I am so obsessed with your series. I'm blanking on the name. I want to say inbred. I want to say inbred, but it's not inbred. But you know the one I mean.

I'm telling you honestly, let me get that out of the way. It's just spectacular. Sean's career speaks very little to me. And Will, I think, is working at Endeavor now. But Ozark is an absolute triumph. So congratulations. You're very, very nice. Thank you. You're welcome. Marty Short.

The Pride of Canada. Oh, I think, I guess, yeah. Fighting out of Hamilton, Ontario. One of the great things, this has been covered a million times, but I have to, I would be delinquent if I didn't bring it up. And I've heard you talk about it before, this production of Godspell, which is like, you're really your first professional acting gig. Is that right? Or is that wrong? Yes, I was still in university.

I was going to be a doctor for two years. I was in pre-meds. And then I realized I didn't care about science. I just was a fan of Chad Everett, who was on Medical Center at the time. So I then switched...

I switched to social work and, but didn't really, I just wanted to not have to work so hard. And then in the last, you know, semester of my fourth year, they were auditioning the show Godspell and Eugene Levy said, you should audition. And I did. And I got it. But you auditioned for it. You were from Hamilton. And for people who don't know, you're from Hamilton. The show is in Toronto. That's a 45 minute drive from,

That's a big move to go from McMaster to all of a sudden auditioning for a real production in Toronto with a cast. These guys probably don't know who was in the cast. Well, it was kind of amazing. It was kind of like American Idol because everyone wanted this show. And Stephen Schwartz, who at that time was 25, he would

He would later write, you know, Pippin and Wicked, et cetera. And he now had this off-Broadway hit and they wanted to do it in Toronto. So he came up with the author of the book and they auditioned like a thousand people. And I went in and I got a callback. And then at the callback, it was really like, you know, in the Masonic Temple in Toronto, people were filling the rafters, supporting their friends. And I guess about 40 people were called back. And through the day, they just kept narrowing it down.

And I've told this many times, but I'll tell it again. Gilda Radner got up. No one knew who she was. And she was wearing bib overalls.

hair and pigtails. And she's saying, zippity doo dah, zippity. And I thought, oh, that poor thing. It's like from a home or something. They bust in. And they and then and then and short stood up and said, you've got it. And it was like, oh, I may have I may have planned incorrectly because I was singing my funny Valentine. So, you know, I now had to rethink my choices.

So anyway, they kept narrowing it down and narrowed it down. And then they narrowed it down to Gilda and Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin. Jesus. Victor Garber was Jesus. Literally. And Paul Schaefer was named musical director because he came and played for his girlfriend. And Stephen Schwartz hated the guy who was playing for people. So he went up to him and said, if I can fire that guy over there and you replace him, will you be musical director? It was all like very...

out of Judy and Mickey, you know, put on a show. And that's where the hook was set. And you stayed in show business ever since. Your career is so impressively long. I think longevity is truly kind of the gold medal in this business. And you have a big fat one. Well, thank God it is because if it was based on success, I'd be finished. Yeah.

So wait, but Marty, you know what's so crazy is everybody, I grew up, you were one of my, as you know, and you make me say it to you every time I see you, one of my biggest inspirations growing up. And, you know, in my mind, you were on SNL for 15 years, but I don't think a lot of people realize you were only on one season. One season, yes. But you stood out so incredibly as one of the staples of that show in the history

history of the show. Why do you think that is? Well, I think, you know, Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest and Harry Shearer and I all had a one-year contract.

Because what had happened is it was now, this was the 10th season, 84-85. And the year before, Eddie Murphy had left halfway through, and now it was just up to Joe Piscopo. So for some reason, they were concerned about the future of the show. And then Joe left. Is that why he got in such good shape? Because he was worried about all the heavy lifting? Well, that's like Mozart. That's brilliant. Oh.

But anyway, so then they, so Dick Ebersole, it wasn't Lauren then, Dick Ebersole was panicked that the show would be canceled. So he gave the four of us a one year contract. And I think the reason we did so much is that we treated it like doing a special every Saturday, as opposed to just being a cast member. I wish I'd said, no, I'll stay as long as you want. And then I would have

not panic when I had nothing on Tuesday night in my head. Would you have wanted to keep going and going and going on that show? No. Whose choices was your choice? Well, again, I think it was my choice. And Lorne came back the next year and he asked if I would do it. But I had done SCTV for three years. I had a new little baby.

And I was just like, I was just burned out. And also I put so much pressure on myself every week because you can have a great Saturday night show, feel like a star, feel brilliant. And then by Tuesday afternoon, because I was a writer on the show, if you didn't have an idea, you felt like the biggest failure. So it was like final exams every week. But I think if I'd known I was going to hang around there a long time, I would have relaxed and

and not been so tense. Did you and Lauren know each other from Toronto? Had you guys known each other before, like before you came on SNL? Lauren came and saw Godspell in 73. But I knew Lauren through Gilda. Right. So the double back, this is interesting. So you do one year in SNL. Lauren says you want to come back. You say no, you've got a young baby. What's...

What's that moment like? Because you know what you could do. You know what SNL is. You could go in there week after week and continue to create characters and continue to write and whatever, maybe for four or five, six years more if you wanted to. And yet you decide, no, I'm going to go do something else. That's kind of a bold move. I don't know. I think I think, again, SCTV three years and then that four years.

And but I remember going to Lauren's apartment in New York. It's a May of 1985. I have a slight brain man thing with dates. And I just don't let him. And I went to Lauren's apartment to discuss this Western Three Amigos. And but he kept saying, should he go back? And what if I went back with him? And I said, well, how how could I do a movie and do Saturday Night Live? He said, it's called scheduling.

Right, right. And Marty, you know, when we, I went to your cabin in Muskoka. Muskoka. Muskoka Lakes. And it's so beautiful and pleasant up there. And we had such a great time. And you're one of the most joyous, kind, pleasant people I've ever known and hung out with and been friends with. And you've shared with me this one kind of way you view life and the way you

Take time for your friends. You take time for your job. You take time for your family. And there's this one thing. You know what I'm talking about? You mean the nine categories? Maybe that's what it is. And can you tell what that is?

Oh, well, this is when I was like about 28. It was the first time I, you know, I started working when I was 22 and I just worked all the time. And now for the first time, I hit this patch where I remember I kept going down in Toronto. Every time I went down to get the subway, the subway was leaving. It didn't matter if I ran toward the subway or not.

or walk slowly toward it was always leaving. And I thought, I guess when the subway's arriving, that's when I will get another job. But there's a good chance I'll never work again. Now, so this was lasted for about two months, but it was the first time I'd gone through this. And then afterwards, and by the end of that year, I realized I'd made more money and had lots of jobs. And I thought, yeah, I wish I could have those two months back. I'm not going to let that happen again.

So that I thought, wait a second, what if your career was just one of nine courses you took? And so that means if you're not working, if you get an F in your career, you can still get a good GPA by doing well in the other categories like subjects. So the categories were one was self. You know, what's your weight? Are you working out? Are you in good health? Two is your wife, girlfriend and kids.

And if you have a wife and a girlfriend, you know. You're doing great. You got an A. And then three was your original family, siblings. Four was your friends. Five was finances. Six was creativity. And then discipline is seven. And then...

And then the last one is lifestyle. Like, are you having any fun? How did you think of, did you read that? I mean, you just thought of it yourself? No, I just, I just, it just came upon me one day. And then I would actually do it, and I would actually do it like a report card. Like, I'd give myself Christmas grades,

and finals. Yeah. Oh, you would go, you would go back and look through that. That's interesting. Yeah. Well, I would just, I would think that, okay, so, um, this is now horrible. Okay. I got to say that's, that's a D. How can I get an A? Oh, I can be a better friend. Oh, can I can pull that up to an A?

But wouldn't not pulling a good grade in finances pull everything down and potentially out onto the street? Oh, he never pays for dinner. That's how he gets an A. Oh, God. Yeah. No, no, you can be very rich and your career be in the dump, or look at Sean. LAUGHTER

No, Sean is spiritually broken for sure. For sure. Can I close the loop on the report card thing with a semi-serious question here? What is your highest grade and your lowest grade right now in your nine channels? I also color code my weight. Got it. Based on the John Ashcroft alert system.

So, like, the lowest you'd ever be is in your green zone. And then the next is your blue zone. And that's kind of like where you want to be. And then there's the yellow zone. Then there's the orange zone. And then there's the red zone. What? What?

I'm in pig purple. So for that, which is beyond red, that's so I would say that I would have to therefore give category one about my health is great. I'm swimming every day, but it's not beautiful naked. So I would give myself a B minus.

there. Purely on just... I'm seven pounds overweight, obviously. Seven. So when you take a nude selfie, you're not... Which I will and send you some. Right, of course. That's why I... Well, we need to promote the podcast, yeah? Brought it up.

All right. So health is a B. So would that be your highest grade? No, I think I've never been hotter at showbiz. I would say, well, lifestyle is always an A. I have a good life. You know what I mean? I get out. Creativity, that's a D.

Discipline is just what's lower than an F. But I definitely, I'm a good friend. I've got lots of money. So if you have lots of money, like you've got Ozark money. Yeah, and then the friends are just, they take care of themselves with that. Right, yeah.

The discipline, you strike me as a very disciplined person. You're saying you're not? I am. I am. I'm just trying to be self-effacing. Yeah. Don't. Because, you know, there's everyone saying I'm so great. I feel the fool. I don't know that that comes through talk as much as it visual aid. Sean, if you could see him right now, he's a picture of discipline. So in anticipation of Marty being here today,

I went and did the thing that I like to do about once every six months, which is watch this scene from Clifford. Wash? No, watch a scene from Clifford. Oh. With Charles Grodin and Marty, you play a boy of 12. Is that right? 10. I thought it was very important that he was prepubescent. Right. Sorry. So he's 10. He's obsessed with dinosaurs.

Yes. And there's a scene Mitch Hurwitz and I have watched, I'm going to say a thousand times. I'm just going to take the under on it because there's a scene where Grodin says to you, I'm going to tell you something. He keeps saying, don't touch the dinosaur. And you keep subtly reaching your hand for the dinosaur. And he's like, leave it alone. And he takes it away and he puts it in his pocket because you won't stop touching it. And then he says, I'm going to go and I'm going to tell her this and that.

look at me, look at me like a boy. Starts to contort his face to look at him. He goes, look at me. He says, look at me like a human boy. Well, he gets there. He first says boy, but then he says, and you contort your face. He goes, look at me like a human boy. Does this look where he tries, it's a 10 year old trying to figure out what a,

It's one of my favorite moments I've ever, I think. Thank you, William. Oh, God. It's like that's my moment that I wish that I could have. And I think if I had a piece of talent, I'd do that.

Marty, tell us what Steve Martin, when he introduces the movie Clifford to the audience. Oh, yes. He says, Marty was in a film. I'm telling you a story. He says, what's your most embarrassing thing? I said, well, in 1990, I made a film called Clifford. And, you know, you'll get this from the audience. And he said, see, the people that applauded remember that movie. And the people that didn't applaud also remember that. LAUGHTER

But I'll bet you'll say, because I was also one of the luckiest guys in the world to work with Charles Grodin. I'll bet you'll say the greatest thing about that movie was working with Chuck Grodin. He was so fantastic and so funny. I love that guy.

Oh, my God. I adored him. He was fabulous. He was so funny and smart and hip and all the stories. Is he retired? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He still does stuff. He was spending a lot of time championing people who are incarcerated without cause or... And does benefits for that. Yeah, yeah. He's really, really passionate about that. And is comfortable living, you know...

gorgeous mansion in Connecticut. He's, uh, he's, he's, he's done it. You know, it reminds me, Sean, you're saying about Steve that I remember being at dinner one time with you guys and Steve told a funny story and people laughed and Marty goes, I tell you, man, if you don't get an agent after that story, I don't know. Like you're the only person I know who can, who consistently, you know, uh, make fun of him and he loves it more than anything. God, he loves it. He does. He has never at any time,

You know, because we will do interviews together because we used to do live shows and we would, to promote them, they'd always say, do you guys insult each other? Do you ever go too far? And we realized both that we've never, ever, ever gone too far and never had a fight, I don't think. In fact, I know.

And I think it's that he believes that it would be impossible for me to ever say anything that truly was meant to hurt him. It's just not in his computer. That's sweet. He just doesn't think that you have that mean bone in your body. Is that right? So anything that's kind of on the line, he just gives you the benefit of the doubt? Absolutely. Although Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall once said to me about Jiminy Glick, he said, you have finally created a character who's as mean as you really are in life. LAUGHTER

Speaking of that, you know, that is one of the most iconic characters of all time. I mean, it is one of the most incredible. It's endlessly funny. Well, Ed Grimley's pretty high up there. And Ed Grimley. Yeah, they're all. What about Uncle Jack? Uncle Jack from Arrested Development.

Marty, who was the best Jiminy Glick interview and who was the worst? Well, I can't say who the worst was. That would be mean. But the best, I don't know. They were all, I don't think of anyone as, I remember with John Lovitz, I fell asleep in the middle of me interviewing. He would answer a question. In the middle of asking a question. I asked him a question. As he was answering, I fell asleep and fell out of the chair, out of the ground. And then I remember saying to Steven Spielberg, when are you going to do the big one?

The one that connects the people. But I had told Stephen, he's an old friend of mine, I said, at one point, this is before we started, I said, I'm going to ask you a question to define your kind of filmmaking. And he said, wow, that's

I said, no, no, it will be all fine. And so he looked off. And as I'm asking the question, I mean, I asked him about his career in filmmaking and he starts going on about it. And as he's looking off, I slid out of the chair and the camera followed me over to the craft service table. And I got a million gummy bears and four donuts and then crawled back to

And the camera's just on me. And then I sit in the chair and he's saying, but you know, I think Fellini, isn't that wonderful? Now, let me answer this. But my favorite line, I must admit, was to Mel Brooks when I said, what's your big beef with the Nazis? That's so funny.

So he always said it like, was he anti-Semitic? You didn't quite know. He wasn't, of course. So you mentioned before that you talked to Lauren about Three Amigos. Yes. A film that you did end up making, of course. Yes. And you wrote as well. Is that true? No, no, no, no. It was written by Steve Martin, Lauren, and Randy Newman. And is that the first time you met Steve on that movie? Uh-huh. Wait.

Wait a minute. Lorne Michaels and Randy Newman were two of the three writers? Yes, sir. Has either one of them ever written anything before or since? Well, Lorne started off as a writer. He wrote for... Laughing.

You know, the Phyllis Diller sitcom he wrote for. He wrote a lot of things. Paul Simon specials. And Randy Newman. And Randy, well, you know, it was a musical. So Randy, but Randy came up with funny things. I think the singing bush was his idea. You know, they would get together, the three of them, and, you know, meet for lunch and then drink some wine and write. Would you, so that was the first time you met Steve. Was that like kind of love at first sight for you guys?

Well, I didn't, you know, I went to his after my dinner with Lauren in May of 85, May of 85. I went to, then I'm back in LA and I went to Steve's house to pick up a script for Three Amigos. And I'd never met him. And I was excited to meet him, you know, obviously. And I went into his house and he,

It was his old house in Bedford Drive. And there was just, everywhere I looked, there was a Picasso. There was a, you know, a hopper. And I said to him, how did you get this rich? Because I've seen your work. And he really laughed.

And then he said, can you give the script to Martin Short? And from that moment on, it was a love affair. Yes. That's great.

Can I go deep on the Rain Man thing? Is there something there? Like, does it extend beyond date recall? Like, do you remember lines really well? Lines are pretty good, but really about dates. And I remember, I don't have it, you know, like Mary Lou Henner has it. That's called H-Sam. Okay. In fact, I know I don't because one time I was saying to someone, you know, I have that kind of H-Sam, you know, like Mary Lou Henner.

You know, what's her name? So I knew that it wasn't. But but I did marry Mary Lou. Mary Lou Henner, who's one of the great women of all time.

Once she had a radio show and she we were talking and she said, do you remember? I was doing this show, The Associates that got quickly canceled. She was doing Taxi and it was Jim Brooks, both his shows. So that's when I first met her. But the end of that year, we went to the Golden Globes and she said, do you remember who was at our table? Because she said she can remember which the dress she wore and what she ate.

Wow. And I said, well, I remember it was my wife, Nancy. She said, yeah. And you were with John Travolta. She said, yeah. And who else was at the table?

I said, I can't remember. Steven Spielberg. I never met him. For some reason, I couldn't remember Steven. So she literally remembers every detail and emotion of her life. That's a real H-San. Does she remember dates, too, in that way? She remembers everything. I can remember, like I would say to my wife, when do you think we first went to Rome? She'd say, I don't know.

88, 91. I could tell you the month and the year. So I can do that. Do you know why that is? Is it based on growing up in a place that has seasons? Because out here in LA, every month is April. Do you know what I actually think? I think part of it is I equate it to what I was doing and what I was working. And because I was never in a long run anything,

I think I just can, that helps anyway. And I think seasons do help. And do you like that? Not having a steady, a steady job that, that, that thing that is in this business. Like if you have a really good year, you get effectively fired six times, you know, multiple jobs. Do you like that about this, about this business or are you somebody that, that, that prefers stability and routine and predictability? I guess what Jason's saying is, is that what you like about your career and not having work? Yeah.

I'm analyzing myself, actually. Well, I don't know. It's it's it's I guess there's pluses and negatives. You're not stuck in anything. But at times you feel like, you know, I don't know. It's always been. It was amazing to me in my career. I never I really never had a lot of successful things. They became successful, you know, either through.

DVD or replay of it. But at the time, you know, I made a film, Inner Space, with Spielberg. We thought it was going to be the greatest hit in the world and no one saw it. But now people go up and say, oh, and they're stunned to think that that didn't open at the time.

So, you know, you have everyone has those all over the place. But were you always confident that there would be a space for you, that there would be there would be a lane somewhere in the business that you could occupy? I did. I did kind of not think, oh, I guess you're no good. I did have that weird confidence. I think I was the youngest of five kids and everyone loved each other and everyone, you know, picked me up and carried me. And I was the cutest. And I think that carried me throughout my life.

But also kind of what we talked about before, which I really admire and try to do as well as much as I can, is that idea that you...

like having the nine categories, but also you put, you don't tether your happiness as a person to what you're necessarily doing work-wise. You have such a full life. And I mean, that's in all earnestness, like you, you take three months off, you go up to Muskoka, you spend time with family, you, that, that's kind of your measure of success. I'm gathering. I think so. Yeah. That that's back at the nine categories, you know, but you can't just put your, you can't put your, you know, your only marks in category six career. But,

But I think that, yeah, I always remember reading about John Paul Getty III. He was kidnapped at 19 and they cut his ear off and sent it to his grandfather. And he said, I'm not paying. That's not a successful life for either one, for either one, for the Bangkok kid or the mean grandfather.

One of the things that's always been so inspiring to me about you is the confidence thing. And I talk to you about that a lot, but it's like, you know, I think everybody aspires and everybody runs around this business so insecure. Oh my God, where's my next job? How am I coming off? Will people like me? All those things. But you don't seem to have any of those things. And I...

why is that? Like you, you are, your confidence just carries you through. You don't care about the usual things that other people in this business care about. Well, thanks, Sean. I think that from, you know, it's talking to me. He has another question for you, but it's not that. Is that the doorbell at your castle? That is, that's my, that's my clock ringing the chime. Okay.

I forgot you used to do Katherine Hepburn. You know, I did a movie of the week with her. You did? I did. Yeah. It was, uh, uh, I think in like the early nineties on CBS, one of her last jobs, I played her driver. It was like a driving Miss Daisy type of, uh, type of thing. It was, uh, it was awesome. Anyway, I, I, wow. Not my interview. Um, why are you crying? She was so kind to me.

Yeah, you got kind of, I call it a bad acting choke in your throat. What do you call it? I call it. We were talking about confidence. I don't know. I think, well, wait a second, Sean. Wouldn't you say of yourself, Sean, do you ever go and say, I guess I don't have any talent and I am not worthy? I don't think you do. And if you don't, why? LAUGHTER

No. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, no, I think I have something to offer. But it's just the way that you don't hold on to things. I think you don't hold on to things. You don't hold on. You don't have grudges. It seems like it seems like you can just move on from failure after failure. No, it seems like it seems like you can just move on from things that work and things that don't work. I wonder why that is. I truthfully and I mean that sincerely. Is that

Is that DNA or is that the way you're raised or is, what do you think that is? Because I don't know. This will sound very LA, but what's your sign?

Aries. Yeah, I'm going to take that to my wife. Well, let me ask this then. Conversely, what is the thing or things that make you uneasy or insecure or unsure? Well, I don't think there's many things that make me feel those things. I mean, I would be unhappy if there's family issues and people are not well or friends are

sad. You know, that makes me sad. I don't really think at this stage of my life that I feel insecure about many things. Because as you get older, you know, I'm 70 now, you don't sit back and go, oh my God, they better like me. You have the body of a 68 year old though. Thank you so much.

You know what you never hear? Anytime that your name comes up, I've never heard anybody say, boy, that guy's a jerk. Yeah. Not once. And that's a testament to... And that's probably part of it, is that, yeah, you have a... Well, I haven't heard... I've never heard that the two of you were jerks. Well, I'm just...

But Sean. I don't know. Yeah, I get it. I won't say. I get it. I get it. Oh, by the way, one of the funniest things that still makes me laugh. No, when we did Arrested Development, we did a lot of improvise. And what I loved about doing that show, it reminded me of doing SCTV because that's what we used to do. We'd do a take.

Then we'd go to the monitor and look at it. Then we'd come back, you know, and change things. And Mitch Hurwitz kept adding things. But we had this big, strong guy who had to carry me around because I didn't have the use of my legs. I was playing this character on the back. And we kept adding things. And at one point, there was a break, and I saw him, and he was crying because we'd worn him out. I mean, his muscles like this, but...

They were burned out because we had added so much. Do you remember this, Jason? And then I remember another time where we would just play around with takes. And one time, Jason's telling me this story, and I'm his uncle, and I just collapsed right into your crotch. Just collapsed. And you just kept talking. But like a slow tree falling over because you have no use of your core muscles or your legs at all. So if you're not perfectly centered over your hips, you'll just slowly go.

fall over and my lap was in your way. Yeah. You just kept talking like that. Jason doesn't flinch. If somebody goes to his crotch, he will not flinch. That is a dead area for me too. I wasn't aware you were down there. Did you know anything about the show when Mitch asked you to do it?

No way. Had you watched it? No, but word got back from those who had that it was lots of fun. And why did you say yes? Did you know Mitch? No, I didn't know Mitch, and I had watched Arrested Bell, and I was a massive fan. Come on. I was. That for us was such a, when we heard that you were coming to do this show, that was like such a pinch me moment. I was a mess. Yeah, I remember shooting at the beach. I'm duct taped to a horse and vomiting. Yeah.

And then I see this woman waving her eyes, going, Marty, Marty, and it was Liza. You think I'm going to say no to that show? No, I love that show. I'd watch it right from the beginning. It's not true. I was a huge fan of Resident Evil. It's hilarious. Marty, can I ask you the question that gets asked me? I'm sure you've been asked a million times. It's kind of one of those annoying questions. What is it about Canada that,

that produces so many funny people. It's true, though. What is it like for people who aren't from there, which is the world? What is it about that? Have you been asked that a thousand times in your life? A million times. And I used to think it was a really silly question because, you know, the arts have no border. But then as people just kept coming back

and kept, you know, and then there was Mike Myers and then it was Phil Hartman. There's you and there's Seth Rogen and it's endless. Jim Carrey. And it continues. Jim Carrey, yes. And not even talking about Catherine and Andrea and all these geniuses. I think there is something about, well, Lorne Michaels' theory is that, especially with characters,

that we had more patience for odd behavior in Canada. But I don't really know why. I know that in 1972 when I started off, now I'm in Godspell, there was a scene in Toronto of talented people like you couldn't believe. There was John Candy, there was Danny Ackler, there's Gilda, Eugene, and all these people. And you go... But I remember I used to go with Gilda and I remember the first person in our group that went down to New York to get a job said,

was Paul Schaeffer. He was working on the Magic show, the Doug Hennings show. And Stephen Schwartz had written the music and he had done gospel. So he hired Paul to be pianist on that show. And I remember in Gilda's kitchen, phoning Paul, the two of us are like this. And Gilda says, Paul, what are New York actors like?

And Pa said, well, maybe you're my friends. I think you guys are just as talented. And we got off the phone saying, oh, how sweet. What a friend. Because as Canadians, we just didn't really, it seemed like you were Neptune. It didn't seem realistic that you could ever, you know, go to, you know, New York, let alone Hollywood and work. So. Is any of that true? No, none of it. In fact, you know what? I have the wrong glass. I put the wrong lenses in. I'm reading it.

And I struggled. I just want to ask one question before we wrap up. John Candy. Yeah.

obviously you guys did SCTV together. What was your relationship like with John Kennedy? What was he like? Was he just the greatest guy with the most naturally funny guy? I was very close friend of mine. We, you know, we did second city stage and we did, but, and SCTV, John was exactly the,

what you would hope he was. He was generous and funny. That was actually his laugh. And he was the sweetest, kindest, most generous. I remember one night we were all, you know, we were all on the stage. We're all making the same money. And I,

I'm driving home and I said to Nancy, John always picks up the tab and yet he makes the same money I do. And it just, it was, no, I'm paying. He was, it was, there was like kind of a Ralph Cramden, great grand quality to him. He was, he was a masterful person. I just, I, I, you know, there's like, what was that SCTV game show you guys used to do? It was like the stupidest people. Halfways. Yeah.

So Eugene Levy is the host. And then you got John Candy and Andrea and Joe Flaherty and Marty. They're the dumbest people. They're the contestants.

John Candy's the first one they say. I forget the guy's name. Like, hey, Gary, what do you do? Well, I got a job. Like, every answer is like, do you have a family? I do. Well, was that a huge inspiration for you, that show, as a kid? Loved SCTV, of course. And as a Canadian, really identified and was so proud that there was something Canadian that all these guys, most of them were actually Canadian, except for maybe...

Well, Andrea was born in Portland, Maine. Right. And Joe Flaherty is from Pittsburgh. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. So I, but these guys, like, of course, so for us, like for me, as a, as a young guy watching these guys and so funny and so, and, and they're doing kind of what you were saying, like, you guys are doing it here. This is incredible. Like this is, it's, it's, it's funny, you know, funnier than anything else. And it's ours.

I took, you know, like a lot of Canadians, I was so proud of it and really aspired to do something like that, although I was too dumb to get into sketch comedy. Somebody asked me once, like, why didn't you ever get into sketch? I was like, it's never too late. I never thought of that as an option.

What about stand-up, Marty? Did you ever do any of that? I didn't. I did it once. I did it once. After I left Second City Stage, I thought, I'm going to do, I know what I'll do this week, and I'll write a stand-up act. And I had a friend, Carol Polk, and she was in a punk rock group called Rough Trade.

And I said, she said, well, open for us. We're playing at the Edgerton nightclub. And I got up and the whole crowd was just, you know, cats and carvings and two people dressed as my deceased parents in the front row. They were intimidating is what I'm saying. And I really bombed and a guy threw a beer in my face. And then I left the stage and

And I think I said, hey, I'm not on a diet. This is a light beer. Tried that. And I had no material. I had no material. I didn't want people to laugh as much as

you know, randomly turn to each other and go, exactly. You know, I want to do a reference to Camus. And this is a punk rock group audience. And so anyway, I remember going backstage afterwards and Carol came in and was crying, oh, Marty, I'm so sorry. Tomorrow night it will be so different. And I said, yes, because I'll be home watching Mike Connors on Mannix.

I will not be here. And that was the only time I ever did stand-up. Oh, wow. And then as I do shows now, I ended up my own shows, you kind of do a form of monologue, but I never clubs. Marty, what is the rest of the day for you? What type are you? Are you a homebody? Do you like to just...

take it into maybe a five o'clock dinner and an eight o'clock sleep? I will tell you exactly what I'm going to do. At four o'clock, I'm having a very hip masks on social walk with Mr. Christopher Guest. Oh, such a big fan. I am the greatest genius of them all. I love his wife too. Jamie Lee. He once said to me, I was making a film Captain Ron. And he said, Mark, what's this film about?

I said, well, I play a man with two children who inherits a boat. You said, I didn't say spoil it for me. LAUGHTER

Marty, thank you so much for coming on the show. We really appreciate it. We love you even more than we already did. Am I right? 100%. I love Martin Short. I love you three. Thank you so much. My honor and pleasure to be on your show, the McGuire's Sister Podcast. Let's try to clear it. Why not?

Why not? We should. Martin Short, love you. Thank you very, very, very much. Love you, Marty. Thanks, Marty. Thank you, Sean. Have a good walk. Bye, William. Bye. Bye, bye, bye. Will, great guest. Fantastic guest, Will. I don't know how you do it. It was great to have Marty, wasn't it?

Yeah, he's literally the funniest person I've ever known. I agree. I agree. And he was one of those guys, like I said, that, you know, I just thought as a young Canadian, and I'm still a young Canadian, I thought how this guy, I mean, you know, he's from where I'm from. And, you know, he was just, but also...

maybe the funniest person I've ever known. Yeah, him and Steve Martin were my two big, huge inspirations. So he was an early inspiration for you, yeah? Oh, for sure. 100%. Yeah. SCTV was... Then why didn't you go into sketch comedy? Honestly, I was too dumb. No, come on. I never considered it. I never thought about it. I've said that my sort of rote answer is...

When I was young, I wanted to be taken seriously, so I thought I'd be— I always goofed around, and I thought I was relatively funny, but I didn't think that it was something that I could do do. And I've had moments of like, oh, goddammit, I wish I had gotten into sketch, or I wish I had gotten to Second City or tried to do that route. So you were thinking early on that you were going to go the route of a dramatic actor, and the comedy was just sort of for your personal life. Yeah.

Same. Absolutely, that was it. Same here. It wasn't until I started getting kicked out of school is that I realized that, oh, my mouth is, maybe I should put it to better use. Well, I remember somebody saying to me once when I was a teenager, they said, I was such a smart ass and I had such a wise mouth. And they said, you remind me of that kid on It's Your Move. Come on. I don't know if I've ever told you that. Truly? Yeah, I've never told you that over all these years. Yeah. My friend Meg Palmer in Toronto years ago said to me, you remind me of that kid on It's Your Move.

Which was Jason's show that was a spinoff, in effect, of Silver Spoons. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, do you remember that, Sean? And Jason was on Silver Spoons. He was so good, basically, that they gave him his own show. And the show lasted one season. Almost one season. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I think the ratings were okay. But at that point, they had this thing called research, NBC research. Parents were writing letters to NBC complaining that their kids were doing some of the same scams and pranks that the writers were writing my character to do. So they asked them to kind of dial back on that. And it became sort of like this PR problem. And probably the ratings didn't make it undeniable either. So they just axed it.

Were you kind of like a, you were like a smart ass, like latchkey kid where you had a single mom as I recall. I was like a wheeler dealer living in an apartment building and, you know, uh, yeah. Stealing answers to tests and, and keys to people's apartments and, and all that kind of stuff. But imagine my delight when we first started working together and became friends and I realized how close to that character you really are.

Yeah, I don't like to do a lot of acting, so I just pick the characters that are just inside my borders. Which is why, and you shouldn't say that, because you have done a lot of money laundering in your life. I obsessed over you, Jason, on The Hogan Family. Like, never, ever missed an episode. Come on. I was like, this guy is the greatest, funniest, oh my God. And, you know, that was one of the shows where I was like, I want to do that, just because of that show.

Are you serious? You never told me that. Yeah, I'm telling you now. And that's how I felt. When I first watched Will and Grace, I thought, man, I'm going to quit showbiz because fuck this. You know what I mean? Look what can happen. Because that's bullshit. That is bullshit.

Right there. Gays on TV. But if we, if the three, I don't think the three of our careers could, could, could equal Martin Shorts. I mean, the amount of work and characters and admiration and relevance he has. And laughs and laughs per, like the actual tonnage of laughs that he's created are almost insurmountable. Well, that was fun.

Yeah, he's the best. You learned some stuff about Marty today, didn't you? I didn't know the medical school thing. I did not know that. Yeah. I did not know that either. I did know what an incredibly kind...

patient, engaging guy he is. You know, I didn't know he was 70. I mean, you can't tell from looking. Running around like he's 30. He looks great. He looks great. He's working his tail off. I mean, that's where I'd like to be in 20 years. And he didn't go to, he went to medical school briefly, but he's still an amateur proctologist. So that's,

Do you have his number? Sure, man. Okay, great. Well, I guess I'll see you guys next time. Great. This is the part. Let me just look at my script. Oh, this is where I go. Bye. Ding dong. Smart. Less. Smart. Less.

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