"Brad Paisley"
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Hey, guys, I'm Sean Hayes here with Jason Bateman and Will Arnett, and we do a show called Smart List, and one of us brings on a guest that the other two don't know about, and it's a surprise. Are you late for something? Honestly. What's wrong? I'm telling people who haven't heard the show. People have just turned it off hearing that. All right.

And by the way, why do we need that? People know what they have just clicked on. We don't need to repeat. Some people don't know what they're clicking on, man. Can you imagine how drunk some people must be? Well, that's true. They're loaded. They've had a couple and they're like, and they hit it by mistake. They butt dialed the podcast. Well, they better not throw up on our faces. You're listening to Smart List. Yeah, don't throw up. Smart List.

Smart. Live. Smart. Live.

Guys, I feel like we're stretched out real good right now. I'm feeling, I'm ready for the game. Wait, Will, Will, what are you really doing? I was just looking up some stuff. I just, you know, I'm just, I'm getting ready to go. Oh, it's your guest. Right, right. He's my guest. This is prepping on our time. No, here's the thing. It's like, how do you, how do you... Save it for the guest. Save it for the guest. How do you, how do you introduce when you're thinking about somebody? He's like, you want to think about what's the best way to introduce them.

What's the best way to do them justice and to honor... It's all stuff that should have happened about an hour ago at the latest. No, no. Well, I tell you what. In lieu of... Wait, how do you say it? L-I-E-U. In lieu. In lieu. Uh-oh. Here comes the French. En lieu. By the way, you know, I had a dream last night that I was speaking full French. And somebody said... The worst part of it is this. Before you roll your eyes, get ready to roll your eyes at this part. I was in a room full of people. There was somebody there. I spoke French to them.

And the other people said, oh, you speak French? And I went, oh, yeah, I'm kind of fluent in French. It was the—even I was disgusted by my own reaction in the dream. Say even I was disgusted by my own reaction in my dream in French. Moi-même, c'était dégoûtant à moi-même, hein?

Wow. Hello. So listen. Sounds like a real hockey player. Yeah. This guest that we have on, on this. Are we doing this right now? Are we in our podcast right now? Yeah, we're on the show. This is the show. We're already in the podcast. That's what's so great about the podcast space, as somebody told me it's called.

is that we're always in it. The second... We're just... We're in it. It's a space. We're in it. It's just so conversational, right, Will? I know. It is. It's just like you and I. We're just talking. We're just talking. We're like on a party line, right? Yeah. Remember when we were kids? Sure. Shut up. 1-800-202-0202 is the party line. Just bring in the guest already. This person is a... This person is an American icon, an American institution in their own right. This person...

Has 14 number one hits. What? 14, yeah, Billboard hits. This person is a writer. This person is a singer. This person is a performer. This person is sneaky hilarious. This person is... Dun, dun, dun. Mr. Brad Paisley. Brad Paisley. There he is. Sean. Brad Paisley, my mafia friend. Hello, Brad. Hello.

Jason, I've always wanted to hang with you and talk Dodgers, so I'm hoping that's what we can do today. This is starting off great. This is great. Guys, you can go ahead and shut down. Have you two never been to a baseball game together? Well, we've been there at the same time, but we didn't actually drive in the same car or anything. How often do you go there? How many games do you get to? I probably get to 15 or 20 a year.

Wow. Why don't we carpool or something? Let's go. Or get snacks together. That's great. I'm a decent guy. You're... Yeah. Let's do it. Will, tell him. Sean. You know what? I'll tell you. Brad, it's great to see you, by the way. Thank you so much for coming on here. Yeah, whatever, Will. So, Sean and I...

Wait, Will and Jason, do you know that Brad and I play this Zoom Mafia game with a bunch of people like once, twice a week, every week? Come on. There's Zoom games? Oh, it's fun. There's Zoom Mafia. It's a lot of fun. Okay, who else is in the Zoom Mafia? Now I want to know. We haven't really talked about this. It's kind of a circle of trust thing. Are we allowed to talk about it? Oh, maybe we're not. How about initials? And then we can guess. Well, we can cut it. We can cut it. If we have regrets, we can cut it. Well, it's a lot of the groundlings.

My wife's in it, but, you know, a lot of the groundlings, and it's a lot of fun. It's actually something we tried when this began because we were doing these games at Kevin and Susan Nealon's house in person and having a ball, and then we had this idea. It's like, well, maybe it'll work on Zoom, and it actually does. Yeah, it's super fun. Is Sean any good at it, Brad? And I know you'll be honest.

No. Do you have to talk like a mafia person? Yeah, you just slick back your hair, Chase, and you talk like you did when you were 10. Jason, now you've played a mafia, you played a dock worker in Philly before, right? What was his name? Yeah, that was, I believe it was called Philly Boy. Can you give us a little bit of that? Can you give us a little bit?

Ah, boy, it's been so long. Because, you know, there is a difference between a New York accent and a Philly accent. I'm not sure you know that. Can't wait to hear the difference. Show us. I don't know what that difference is, but that's what I was being screamed at while I was doing the movie because I was missing it. You feel like after all these years that maybe you forgot about it? Oh, God. Where are you going?

Drop that pallet over here. Just put it down. Drive your forklift down. That's actually really good, Jason. Guys, I think we just lost our listener. No. But...

Well, what I was going to say was, first, just getting back to the baseball. Brad, you have to understand, the first time I went to a Dodger game with Jason, I was really excited because he's a big Dodger fan. This is such a terrible story, meaning it's hurtful. It's not hurtful, first of all. Well, to me it was. I'll never forget it. It was my worst nightmare. It's not the first one. The first game is not what you think it is. I'll tell that. The real thing, the story here was we get to the game.

parks in his spot, and Jason opens up the glove box, and there he's got two little sort of old-school transistor radios with one earpiece, and he hands one to me. And I go, what's this? He goes, yeah, we listened to the game the whole time. I go, oh, yeah, yeah, there's not a lot of talking. So we get to the game, the whole experience, and he puts his radio in, and he's just zoned out. He's watching the game. I'm like...

Yeah. I'm going to a baseball game with a guy and now we're not even, there's no chit chat. Maybe the seventh inning, like, Hey, you want to get some meat? We're not going to sit there and visit for three hours. I'll bet you he doesn't do that with other people. There's a good chance. I'd never do that to you, Brad.

No, we would have meaningful discussions during the game. Sure we would. We'd get there early, right? We'd stay late. We'd help them clean up. Absolutely. This is so hostile, this environment. But the next one of the other times I've been with, we've been a few times. One time I went, Jason had a, he used to take his glove with him to catch the odd foul ball. You got to stay ready.

And we joined the seventh inning. He kind of put it on the seat between us. I picked up the mitt, and we were just absentmindedly just chit-chatting. The game starts. At this point, we were chit-chatting, full disclosure. And Dave Roberts, who at the time was playing for the Dodgers, hits a foul ball.

And we both stand. It's coming towards us. And it's coming right towards Jason, right towards him. And at the last second, I reach in front of him with his own glove and snag the foul ball. You caught a foul ball? I caught it in front of Jason's hands. He's got the glove for one batter. I've got it for one batter. And I snag it. And then I'm up on the Jumbotron like a hero. You hear about heroes all the time. But this is a real hero. Sure. And...

And then I look, and everybody's like, yeah. And I look at Jason's face. I look through at him, and he's so sunken and sad and upset. Yeah.

Usually the person you're standing next to after you catch a foul ball has got nothing but high fives loaded for you. And I just couldn't have been sadder. The disappointment oozing from his body. I understand. You took the ball. You handed me the mitt back. I did. I still got the ball. And I think you said, are you good to go? I think you were ready to leave, right? He was confused how long the third period was going to last. Yeah, we can't get out. Yeah, he wanted to get out of there. You know.

Anyway, so that's what you got to look forward to, Brad. I'm excited for you. We'll have fun. Yeah, we will. I think it'd be great. And we'll do lots of talking. Brad, can you tell us, because by the way, I was going to probably see you. I'm not going to see you tonight, but I'm going to see you. You're not going to be there tonight? Wait, how are you guys all friends? How do you guys know Brad Paisley, for God's sakes? Where have I been? What's wrong with my phone number?

You dicks. We'll exchange when we're done and then it'll be great. You can be part of this magic. But it's my job to make them jealous for the next year or so. Great. You and I, you're moving in. Yeah, we're going to be like dressing in blue and white the whole time. Face painting each other. You guys go start without me. I'll catch up. But listen. How do you guys know each other? Sure.

Sean and I are through our friends that we do mafia with and then Will and I are oh, sorry Don't send anything wills way cuz chunks got something in his mouth Hey, man, can you wait till we're done doing the podcast where you start snacking? Are we on a break? I gotta stay fueled up man. You have any idea what I'm doing over here? Yeah, it's obvious what you're doing your tanning bed and you're you're like look at you sure my tanning bed is called planet earth bread and

Crossfit and tanning bed at this point. It's unbelievable. Get a job. Most people would wear a darker color, but Will's got bright white to show off the tan. Yeah, it makes the tan pop. I knew. When I was putting this shirt on, because I didn't have a shirt on for most of the day. Yeah.

Guys, here we go with the shirt. I am really leaving myself open. And then I thought, you know what? Fuck it. Let them take their shots. I'm going to let them punch themselves out. And then I'm going to come back. Wait a minute. I have to jump in here. Okay. Brad, I saw the concert. It was amazing. Thank you. And will you tell people how that came together and what you did? And by the way, the speech that you gave when you were playing the guitar to all the kids and...

it was just so moving and inspiring. This was one of the graduation shows. Uh, no, actually what this was, was, um, Bud Light sponsored us to set our whole, like basically we set our whole tour up, an entire arena show, 60 foot video wall, and then spent three days setting it up. Everybody wearing masks until the show started. All the band members had to be 10 feet apart. And we did our show live via YouTube and Facebook. And, uh,

Bud Light paid for it, and it was really neat because it was like the only strange part is in between every song, we had our lights, we had our video wall, we had everything. But in between each song, there was no applause, obviously. Every now and then I would like browbeat my sound guy. Welcome to Will's world. Yeah, right. And Bud Light paid for it in Bud Light, right? They paid for it in Bud Light? Yeah.

They've been doing that for many tours, that one. So when you usually would say like, Detroit, you know, between, what do you scream? Is it YouTube? YouTube. Yeah, that'll work. You can also, you know, internet. Internet. Digital.

So what's that like? So you're at a full-blown stadium, arena or whatever, and you're literally looking out to an empty house. I would imagine it'd be like a reoccurring nightmare for you. But it was shot so beautifully. It looked so cool. Plenty of room for camera moves out there, you know? Yeah, we had a drone flying around it. Sure, I'll bet you did. Because you can't do that with an audience. Yeah, no risk. No, there's not going to crash and hit anybody. Well, it could, I guess, but...

It was really weird because it was normal in the middle of the show and the spotlight's on and the lights are doing their thing. And then you kind of forget about the audience anyway, half the time when you're playing in the middle of a song. And then after the song, it's like, well, we suck. Yeah. Nobody cared. It was just so dead silent. It's not how it was viewed at all. I mean, it was. So Brad, you do this huge concert that's put out over the internet. It's massive and it's weird because you're doing it in front of this, you

you know, no audience and stuff. And that sensation, how weird that is. Take us back to your first tour. What was that? Where was it? What was that? How'd that come together? That was really interesting because when you're new, you do everything free. So, cause you don't have an audience. So I had a struggling first single that took,

37 weeks to get to number 12 on the Billboard chart. First single. It was a good song, but you know how it is. We were begging and borrowing and stealing every bit of airplay we could get. But my second single ended up changing everything, and it was my first number one song. It was actually the first...

It was kind of a tight ship at that time in country music. They weren't letting anybody new in. And it was the first number one single from a new artist in like five or six years. Wow. And it was called He Didn't Have To Be, and it was written about my best friend who's a stepfather. And it was written about a dad who is the dad he doesn't have to be. Anyway, it just generated so much, and I ended up winning awards for that and getting nominated for a lot of things and

That changed everything. And what year was that about? It went number one in 19... It came out in 1999. I think it went number one in like January of 2000. So, you know, 20 years ago. But that first tour, it's like, here's what's crazy. I have the same band today.

That's awesome. From that first tour. Yeah. Same six guys are with me. That's so great. And we've been through it all. I mean, when I met Kim, my wife, she came out on the road with us and we had to kick somebody out of their bunk because it was a 12-bunk bus and we had 12 people on it. 12 bunks were taken. So she ended up getting like the keyboard player's bunk and he had to sleep on the couch in the front of the bunk. That was that first tour when she came out. And-

And then she remembers when we got our trailer that you could pull behind the bus with gear in it. We weren't renting things anymore. And that was huge. So that's kind of nice that she saw us go from that. Brad, I toured with Kenny Rogers. Yes, you're hearing that correctly. How? Doing what? What were you doing with him? I was a Christmas elf.

And it was his Christmas. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. And it was his Christmas tour. And I slept on those buses too. And I hated it. I don't understand how you can do that for 20 years. I mean, do you don't mind being on the road and living in those quarters on those buses? It was just...

We do it different. See, Nashville is so centrally located, we don't have to go six months. Oh, okay, okay. It's like leave Thursday night, be home Saturday night. Oh, then forget it. Then that's kind of fun. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's all right. You're not supposed to go to the bathroom on the bus. Is that right? Not true. In a lot of the lease buses, that's true. In ours, we have what's called a grinder. So do we. It goes, and it, yeah. Is that the one you swipe? Is that the dudes or the girls?

Oh, look at him asking so innocently. I'm not sure. It's the guy's face. It's the guy one? Okay. It's the guy. And if you like somebody, you go left or do you go right? Either way on that one. Okay. You just go straight up. Yeah. Let's do this. Sorry, Will's still chewing. We can hold. Hold on. We'll wait on Will. No, no. I took this opportunity because I didn't have anything to add to the grinder. Yeah.

So explain to me what a grinder does, Brad, on the bus. Oh, my God. Think of it as like a food disposal, but it's the other end of the food spectrum. Yeah. Yeah, but why would you need to grind it up? That's not the problem. It seems like you'd be agitating the odor by blending it. Well, you'd think, but it works surprisingly well. I think what happens is it liquefies it before it ends up in the septic tank on the bus. Okay.

Will, go ahead and enjoy your balance bar. Will actually wanted me to ask this. He was too embarrassed to ask you. He asked me to ask you, which direction did the wheels on the bus go? Round and round, actually. Well done. That's our first break, everybody.

Now, what about videos? What kind of lane do the videos take in today's sort of music industry? Are they helpful or are they just additive? They've been relegated to the berm of the highway. We're just not even really doing them. You don't really make them anymore at all? We do them, but they don't matter like they did. Like, they used to be that you'd air them on television. No one on television even shows them anymore. And it's so, like...

When you make a video, it's kind of a promotional tool and it's a little more like you want it to be something interesting to watch on Instagram more than you care about. Do you pay for it or does the record company pay for it? Usually you split it with them. You would think that it would be a relevant and attractive piece of media considering all the Instagram watching and the TikTok-ing, whatever the hell is going on. To watch your favorite artist sing the song that you love...

uh, there on your phone. Um, you're listening to it already on your phone. You would think. Yeah. And in fact, isn't there, there's, um, I was watching my daughter. Uh, she had some, one of these pop stars singing a song on the, on her iTunes and on the iTunes, on the iTunes, you could touch the screen and you see the, the artist might not necessarily be singing the song, but they're doing some other stuff or wouldn't, what, what is that called? Is that like today's video? Uh,

Yeah, I'm not sure what that is necessarily because I'm as old as you. But I think...

I see Spotify did something awesome for a while. They did vertical videos, and so you'd hold your phone, and it would be... You had to make it specifically for Spotify, and when you were listening to the song, you could do that, and it's a video the artist made that's just for Spotify that was, like, straight up and down. That's what it is. Some artists, it still comes up on Spotify. I like that. I think that's cool. But you'll get more views on the lyric video these days half the time than you will on something where you spent $300,000. Those things are huge.

Wait, what's a lyric video? It's basically the bouncing ball. It's like the words go across the screen. Yeah, so everybody can learn it. But with a visual of you performing the song as well? No, it's just the words. Oh, wow. Yet another reason you should learn how to read, Jason. I mean, right there. It sounds exhausting. Yeah, it's not worth it, honestly. Wait a minute, though. So, Brad, are you saying that, and Jason, are you both saying that

the vid, like making a music video is, is required, but kind of pointless at the same time. Like, cause I, you know, everybody for, for years was like, is MTV, is MTV going to come back with videos? Remember VH1, MTV, all they would play music videos and we would associate, I would give us something to associate the song with. And now you have just the song, but I can't imagine like, well, we'll like you're saying too, is like,

It seems like such a viable outlet to promote the song and the label would back it. Little mini movies. They were fantastic. And then they were so engaging just as little pieces of sort of narrative that it got to the point, so I understand it, that bands had to be told and they were required to at least for two or three seconds in every video, uh,

be playing their instruments. Like you had to show, you had to, it was like a legal requirement that you had to be playing your instruments for like three, otherwise you can, you know, walk around and be jumping in pools or whatever the hell the, the, the, the video is, but you'd literally had to be seen playing your instrument, singing the song for a little bit because they became such engaging little tiny mini movies. Yeah, that's probably, that's probably the case. I mean, in our, in our town, some did better than others. I had a great run where I had some that really mattered. I,

The first one that really mattered for me was that was like bigger than the song at first, which was a song called I'm Gonna Miss Her, which is a...

funny song about fishing. And it's basically the hook of the song is, you know. Get it? The hook? Yeah, if I hit that. Yeah, very good. If I hit that fishing hole today, she'll be packing all her things and she'll be gone by noon. Chorus, well, I'm going to miss her. You know, and at the end of the chorus, it's like, oh, looky there. I've got a bite. And so I had this idea and I went to the label and I said, I want to get, I'm going to, you know, throw the book at it and I want to hold a fake fishing tournament. Damn.

Dan Patrick will be the announcer. And then second half of the song, all the wives, I'm going to have some other country singers and stuff in it. All their wives end up on the Jerry Springer show mad at us talking about how their husbands have abandoned them. And we did all that. Like we pulled that off. That thing still exists. And as you can imagine, that was sort of like a watershed moment for me because I

I went in there and kind of called my shot. I sort of pointed at the left field wall and I'm going to get all these people. And I didn't know Jerry Springer. I didn't know Dan Patrick at the time, but I called him up and they did it. But you'd had, you'd had a fair bit of success by that point, right? I'd had a, I'd had two number ones at that point. Yeah. That'll do it. What was that feeling? Cause as I alluded to when, when, uh, when I did the intro that you've had, uh,

I think it's 14, number one. It's 22, but it's fine. Shit. Yeah, a whole nother touchdown. Wow. Somebody's getting fired. We all know who. It's okay. I mean... 22. So, 22. So, now it's kind of like, yeah, 22, but I mean, that first number one...

Was that, that moment, do you remember that moment of like... It was great, because here's what it was. It was that first song I was telling you about that was like, I didn't even think it'd be a single. It was this really heartfelt song about the plight of sort of a stepdad trying to sort of be everything his kid needs and...

We were in a battle to try and get number one, the way number ones work. It's like anything in our industry and your industry too, where it's just politics and it's a game and it's who got the most spins that week. And a lot of times that's manipulated and purchased and you know, it's flyaways and giveaways and all these things to get it there. And,

And we were in a just knock-down, drag-out battle for number one the week it was going. And I went to WSM to be on the radio on a Monday morning.

which is the oldest radio station in country music. It's the place where the Opry started in the 20s. And it's AM. And I went and did an interview with the woman that was the DJ there. And she's still on to this day. And we were talking about the song. She's like, I really hope this goes number one today. I know you guys are trying. And I'm driving home from the Grand Ole Opry house. And I'm on the interstate. And I'm listening to...

to WWVA driving down the road and she comes on and says, Brad Paisley, if you're listening, your song just went number one. Wow. That's so cool. On the radio station. That's incredible. Wow. I had to like pull over. I was like, I couldn't keep driving. I'll bet you that the second number one felt pretty good too because if you had any

doubt that maybe the first one was like, ah, you know, maybe I'm a one hit wonder or maybe I'll never be able to do it again or whatever. Like, boom, did it again. And then the third one that's like, oh, I'm going to be around a while now. Well, all of them were a struggle. They were all a struggle in the beginning. Like the first three weren't, it wasn't like I set the world on fire. My third single went to 16 and died. It was still kind of a hit, but it didn't have the legs to go all the way up the chart. Sort of like,

Me. I don't have the legs either. Never have. Your legs are beautiful, Brad. Don't say that. Thanks. I appreciate that. But so that one went number one. And then the one after it, we struggled to get it to number two. And it went all the way to number two. And it wasn't really setting the world on fire. And that's when I went into my record label after that fourth single. And I'd had two number ones, but every other song was sort of a lot of work.

and I begged them to let me release this fishing song. And they just kept saying, women are going to be offended by that. They're going to be so offended that you're saying you want to go fishing instead of stay with your girlfriend. And it was like,

I don't think they are. I think they know us. And it set the world on fire in my industry. And my album was like, at the time, here I was with a song that went to number two and my album was like 35 on the chart. My album went from 35 to two in three weeks when the Phishing song came out. Wow. Have you gone fishing with Kimmel?

No, I never have. But he goes up and goes fly fishing with like Huey Lewis every year, I know. Is fly fishing your thing? Or do you do a different kind of fishing? I can. I'm not as good at it. But I love it. Do you go? I never have. But the way he talks about those trips, I'd like to learn just to go on it. You should jump on that. We should plan one and do that sometime. We were going to go. We went on to...

like spring break together with all the kids and stuff. And it was Molly's birthday and we're in this beautiful place and there was like lots of food. And Jimmy's like, anybody want to go fishing? Of course we were like, no, Jason and I did not go. Jimmy went out with the guy. Yeah. But he's getting up at four in the morning and Jack asked him three hours to whatever the fishing hole is, whatever. But I'm talking about like, these are like dedicated trips where you got to like pack in with a bunch of horses and stay in a lodge and things like that. I, that sounds, uh,

Sounds good from here, but I'd probably start whining about thread count as soon as I got up there. You know, these sheets are too rough. My nipples are raw. I got to sleep with a shirt on now. Yeah, absolutely. I get that. Brad, I have a cheesy songwriting question. So, Brad, when you and I play, you know, Mafia through Zoom with all of our friends, Brad, off the top of his head,

It made me laugh. So off the top of his head, it was something like, this whole town is so fucked up. A whole bunch of whores in pickup trucks. But it was a whole song at the top of your head.

Which is so mind-blowing. We did a mafia where I scored the session, basically. Yeah, he scored the whole thing. Where somebody would die and we'd start singing something. Yeah, it was so funny. It was a lot of fun. Unbelievable. So how do you do that, A, and B, because I think that's remarkable, and one of the cheesiest all-time questions anybody could ask a songwriter, but I'm always intrigued because everybody has a different process, lyrics first or music first, and why? I think that it could be either on the lyrics or music. It's just...

for me it's never that hard to kind of find a melody for something if i have a good idea of what a great lyric ought to be like if i have a good idea a good idea is like the kind of thing that you're like oh man i gotta write that and the melody will find it but um lyrics are the hard part that's the part that you don't you don't want i don't like things that are cliched and feel totally just

Tired and Retread. I love those songs. Those are my favorite. Are they? Yeah. Where would you go for help for lyrics? Do you read poetry? Do you look at certain authors? Do you... Yeah, I mean, it can be anywhere. There's a songwriter in Nashville named John Imes who's written some big songs over the years. I saw him say something once at a writer's night, at a Bluebird writer's night, and it stuck with me, and it was, don't expect output if you don't have input.

You know, if this was a computer, you have to have input. I mean, it's like, so read and listen to things and watch movies and all of it. I mean, I've gotten songs from the strangest lines. I think there's a rest of development

line that I used as a basis for a hook of a song once and I can't remember which one it was I had a song called sleeping on the fold out on my first album that's literally from Seinfeld remember when remember that's about basically then the chorus of the song is an old-fashioned country like sleeping on the fold out thanks to me and my big mouth why did I say what I said or whatever um

You know, your wife basically makes you sleep on the couch. It came from when Jerry's like, I'm going down to Florida, and George is like, you know, you going to sleep on the fold-out? He's like, yeah, my back will never be the same. And it's like, that's a pretty good country title, sleeping on the fold-out. That's so incredibly country. That's one of the great things about country. It makes it so accessible because it talks about just these things, these real life can like –

Me and my big mouth. I got to sleep on the fold out. It's like, you know, this old truck, she broke down, and now I'm just looking for my dog. Right. Hang on, let me write all this down. I mean, this just pours out of him. This pours out of him. But I love it. But it's so great. That's what makes it so, like, there is that kind of,

I don't know, what is it, folk poetry? Like, it is like this thing that... And it's sort of the narrative of your life and what's going on and the day-to-day. Obviously, some of it's much bigger, but there is that thing that makes it so immediate.

that people can relate to in its immediacy. It's not esoteric. - I had really good teachers in that, like one of my songwriting partners is a genius whose father was a songwriter and who did great. And his name is Chris Dubois. And he always used to just brutally critique my songs in a great way. And he's somebody that we own a publishing company together.

But he's the kind of guy that's like, don't do that. You wouldn't say that. And that's a big thing with country songs. It's like, you wouldn't say that. So why would you put that in a country song? And the best ones, whether you're listening to stuff like the old Harlan Howard songs or something from our format and Johnny Cash or anything like that, or even John Prine, who I would consider practically a country writer in so many ways.

It's just like, you wouldn't say that. Don't sing it. That's a big problem. It's like when you can't put your finger on why you don't like a line in a song, it's usually, oh yeah, I'd never say that. Like there's pet peeves for me of songs that'll say, you know, instead of saying it the way you'd say it, they rhyme a word. It's like, you know,

snow that's white or something, you know, and it's like, you wouldn't say snow that's white. Cause you would just, it's freaking snow. You just, right. Um, what is the, um, I think, I think anybody would agree as soon as you start hearing a country song, um,

you know it's a country song, irrespective of the lyrics. There is a sound to a country song and it's not just a slide guitar. Is there an element, a component, a recipe that, oh no, guys, we've got to change it. This sounds too much like a...

rock song, where this sounds too much like a disco song, or this like, like, what do you have to have in a country song for it to be in the lane that the expectant audience is looking for? I think you're hitting the nail on the head in one way, and that it's there's always something that makes it that. If you have a rock beat, and a lyric about

something completely sort of urban, it's not a country song. But if you have a rock beat and you're singing about, I'm taking my baby out into this cornfield tonight. Right. We're going to lay in the bed of my truck. You could be as heavy metal as you want. It's a country song. You know, same with, you could have something where there's a banjo underneath and it's like, well, immediately that becomes a little inbred. It's good. But there's not, there's not, there's not a melodic, um,

essential ingredient. Yeah, I think there is, but I'm not sure exactly what. Yeah. I think it's that there's that one thing that feels, and sometimes it's the singer. Like, somebody asked Waylon Jennings once, what makes a song country? He's like, when I sing it, it's country. Yeah, because you're talking like this or something like that, right? Well, I'll tell you right now. And it's like, you could sing, you know, you know, come on, baby, living on a prayer. And it's like, that's country all of a sudden.

Is there a genre of music that you just will not listen to, that you just do not like? Well, that was what I was going to say. What would we be surprised? I listen to a lot of other stuff. I listen to less country these days than I did early on in my life. I like alt-rock. I really do. I like everything from obscure British bands to...

I love like Dawes, you know what I'm talking about? But they're kind of country, but that's a great... I like Coldplay. I like all that. I like...

Where do you put Wilco? They're sort of a country hybrid, right? Absolutely. I love Wilco. I love Wilco. Do you know that band before? Do you like Uncle Tupelo, that band that used to be Wilco and Sun Wolf came out of? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, things like that intrigue me because they get away with little tricks that it's like, I'm going to try to do that kind of thing right there.

Tweety's always thinking of something that's like, oh, that's pretty neat. There's like sonic sort of atmospheric sort of soundscape at times, right? And then they'll go right into a banjo sort of typical 4-4 or something. And yeah, it's really interesting. What about other classic like Americana bands like REM? What would you think? Did you listen to them? Absolutely. Well, they were big when I was in school. So yeah, I mean, where did you go to school?

You mean like college? Yeah. College, I went to Belmont in Nashville. Oh, okay. I moved here to go to Belmont University, but I'm from West Virginia. So, I mean, see, I got out of getting beat up in high school by learning how to play Clapton and Van Halen stuff on the guitar. You know, so it'd be like, it was like a scene in one of those, in Thriller or something, where they're about to beat me up and it's like,

Whip out a ukulele and you're all set. Absolutely, yeah. So then, knowing all that, to Sean's original point, which I cut in on, what will you not listen to? That's a good question. I don't like...

steel drum music. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like that, that immediate, like reggae. I like, I like reggae to a point, but like steel drum music, that's something about that instrument bothers me. Sure. Um,

You probably had a bad experience with some undercooked chicken, one of those carts. Yeah, right. Yeah, sure. A little rhinovirus on a cruise and steel drums are never the same. Rhinovirus. Where are you on that yelling rock? What's it called? Oh, death metal? They're screaming? Yes, that one. Death metal. You love that, right? Yelling rock.

Well, I don't, but here's the thing that's fun about it. Hey, pops. You can imagine Jason holding a newspaper as a car goes by in his neighborhood going, turn down that yelling. Turn down that rocket. I do something really fun with my kids. So there's Liquid Metal is a channel on Sirius, and then there's 50s on 5. Okay. Okay.

So if you take on your car dial and you put liquid metal and fifties on five side by side, and you save them on your presets, go back and forth. It's the greatest entertainment in the history of life is

Because it's like all the chapel bells were ringing. Death, death, death to the sovereign. And you go back. They were singing in the square. You know, I'm going to kill you, baby. I'm going to rip your guts out. And you go back and forth and it's fantastic. Are they old enough to love that? How old are they? They're 11 and 13. Yeah. We've been doing that for years, though. They would howl. Like every now and then we'd get one where it was like,

you know, something about, you know, the sweet little angel and then all of a sudden die. Yeah. Now, is that a boy and a girl, girl and a boy, two boys, two boys. How is that? 11 and 13. That sounds boy, two boys. Have you, how many times you've been to the emergency room? Uh, let's see. Three.

Three. Three times. Three in total. What about you, Will? Are you there yet? Oh, we've been a few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had multiple stitches. Your past three. I've had multiple times with my 11-year-old, with Archie, where he's like getting stitches in his head and his toe, and I'm having to help hold him down. And he's looking at me going, why? Why? And I'm like, it's heartbreaking, man. How many do you have, Jason? Do you have...

I got two girls, 13 and 8. Oh, man, that's not easy. Only one emergency room visit. And that was for yourself, right? Yes, yes. For my broken heart because they weren't listening, Sean. I get it, I get it. No, but that 13-year-old is really starting to run our mouth. So we could end up back there pretty soon. I get it, though. My 13-year-old, the boy, it's like there was this day where it switched.

It was like, wait a minute. He's teenagers. What the heck is that? It's at 11, right? It's at 11, isn't it? Well, with him, it was like he turned 13 and...

Kim was out of town. And so we had had the best night. I mean, we had done this thing called lava, lava charging, which is this game we play where I'm tossing them in the pillows. And we've been doing that since they were two. And then, you know, like we were, we, I made them warm milk before bed. We did something else. And then they asked if they could do one more thing, which was like one other fun thing we do. And I said, no, it's bedtime. And he just went like immediately just like,

you know what, dad? It is so stressful when mom's gone and I can't wait for her to come back. And I, oh my God. I was like, like this, this 13 year old came out and I went, oh, I get it. I know, look, I know what you're doing. And he went, what do you mean? I said, I was you and it's not going to work.

I said, here's why it's not going to work. You're trying to hurt my feelings. You know what I love more than anything, Huck? I love being with you guys. And guess what I would not say to you? I can't wait for mom to get back.

I wouldn't say that because I love this time together. And I said, and you're trying to hurt me and it's not working because it didn't hurt. I said, I know what you're doing. And he went, he started crying and he was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so beautiful. And I was like, okay, I'm Andy Griffith folks. I am Andy Griffith. You know what? I've got a suggestion. Maybe this is a different way. Next time he does that, you go, Hey, you know what, man, you hurt my feelings and you need to know when I get low and my feelings are hurt,

I write a hit song and you just made me millions of dollars. So go ahead and keep doing it because I am going to write a heartbreak song. I'm going to try that tactic next. Yeah. Sean and Scotty don't have to worry about any of this stuff, do you? Yeah, no, Scotty and I don't have kids. I, my favorite quote I think I ever read in my life was I'd rather regret not having kids than have them and regret it later. So I, uh, it's healthy. That's good. Right. Right. But, um,

Yeah, we always talk about having kids and I'm like 90% there. He's probably like 85% there, but neither of us are 100% because if he was like, oh my God, I want kids so bad. I'd be like, at least there's one of us I can hand the child off to because they want that.

That's what in-laws or nannies or night nurse or school, that's what school's for. School's daycare until about 10th grade. Sean and I have worked on a couple of shows together. My kids come and visit a lot, and he'd just be like, Jesus, these kids, can you just do it? No, I do not. The thing about all of what I just said is I absolutely, truly do love kids. No, he does. I just think they're awesome. It really seems like it.

Sean, why don't you just wait a little while longer? Okay. Start when you're 60 maybe. Sounds like kids. Be specific. They're the little people? They're the smaller ones that are? Yeah. Do you guys have pictures? Just get on it, Sean. You're going to love it, and you got time to get your head around it. While the kid learns how to walk and talk, it lets the parents become parents. The adults become parents. Look, I have nine nieces and nephews. I have godkids. I love all of them. I love spending time with them. Yeah.

Name one of them. Name one of them right now. Well, you know what? Do not play these games with me. Sean, do you work for JPL or is that just a hat? I'm Moonlight.

I moonlight there. I built the rover, the Mars rover. Oh, cool. Yeah, I had a hand in that. No, I'm a fan of astronomy, sci-fi, science, all that kind of stuff. So I have gone on a couple tours at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, because it's close. And I actually did see the rover before it went to Mars. So it was wild to see in person the...

piece of spacecraft that actually is on another planet right now. Yeah, you must crush ass. What a catch you are. Yeah, with that intro, you could become the president of the Jizz Propulsion Laboratory. It's just incredible. That's wonderful. Who says I'm not? Jesus. And here's our expert in propellant.

You know, Brad, I wanted to say this is the worst segue. I just want to say hi to all the kids out there who are looking for inspiration.

Listen to our podcast. So, Brad, so you have all these hits. You're a huge star. Oh, brother, stop stroking my ego like I'm the jizz propulsion expert on here. This is what I'm getting to, the jizz propulsion aspect of your life. No, what I wanted to say was, but you do all this stuff in country music, and then you become, and then you start, well, first of all, you start doing these ads with Peyton Manning. I want to know, were you guys friends before you guys started doing these ads? Because they became omnipresent, and I think that that's...

It's a big campaign, but that's something that opened you up to people who weren't necessarily familiar with your music or that genre. How did that happen? I always want to know, were you guys buddies? We didn't know each other that well. We'd seen each other at some things and were very complimentary and I liked him. I mean, I'd been around him some. He's a comedic genius, man.

Honestly, I mean that. And I'm not throwing that out lightly. He really... I've never seen anybody who's from the sports world that understands that like he does. He understands... I've long said he's the best comedic athlete of all time. Without a doubt. I think. His comedy chops are just...

He knows who he is. And so the way it came about was Nationwide... Is on your side. They're on our side. They had this idea for a campaign that was really fun that was, what if there's more to the song than you know? And they're like, we want you to write like a verse about a guy that, you know, backs his RV over the flower bed after he buys it for retirement. And so I did that and went and did some commercials for them just with a guitar like...

And in passing, when we were sitting there, they said, what else do you think we could do with this? And I said, well, I think what would be fun is

is if Peyton basically starts telling me how to do this, and the next thing you know, they've booked a session, and the first ads we did were me in the studio. I sort of sang like a line, and I'm like, what do you think? He's like, better, but come here. And he starts like teaching me how to sing on the camera and everything. And it was way more comedy gold than I could have even imagined. They're great. They're really great. I remember when he came on SNL when my ex-wife was on there, and it was just like he was...

just so much better and so much more than everybody expected he was hilarious i remember him on there but anyway so you do those things and they're huge and then did that kind of like change did you notice a change like a shift yeah yeah well what's it's interesting because it's a risky thing when you do a commercial um as you know will because they can really backfire and people can look at you with less respect when it's over you know what i mean

Oh, I'd love to pull over here for one second, go down Will's commercial cannon right now. Well, should we do it alphabetically? Listen, that's a lot of fun. You know, they'll sing, there's no selling out, there's only buying in.

We'll be right back. Wow. Yeah. That's the thing, though, is when you sign up for one of these campaigns, you're just... It's like you hope it's going to be as great as you hope. And then in the end, it's like it's rare that it's something that's that much fun. Like when we film these, it's so much fun anyway. And we have a ball. And a lot of them are ad-libbed. Like there's one where we're going down the road and he's trying to tell me how to write a song. And that one where we're on that bus, that was all ad-libbed. And that's one of the better ones. It's just really...

It's really something I would do. Don't tell them this, but I would do it for free because it's so much fun. But I'm not going to. You can tell. And you guys seem like old friends too. I mean, it really reads that you guys have a great time. And we are now. Yeah, we really are. Like one of the most eye-opening moments of this pandemic has been on a Saturday night, I'm walking down to the barn on our farm. And I'm just like, my phone, I look down, there's a text from Peyton. He's like, hey, jump on this Zoom right now.

And I go, boom. And I jump in this Zoom and he's like, okay, Brad Paisley's here. And it's him and a bunch of football players talking.

And he's like, and a newscaster and somebody else. And he's like, okay, get one famous person from your Rolodex and put them in right now. And so I texted Darius and I'm like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, I'm watching the R. Kelly documentary. And I'm like, take a break. I'll tell you how it ends. And then shower. And then, yeah, right. And so he jumps on and then Dan Patrick jumps on and Kevin Hart. And this was a Saturday night and it was everybody having like a Zoom drinking session, famous people, crazy, weird people.

And it was awesome. It was like, oh, this is really wild. These are people I'd have never, ever just hung out with on a Saturday night in another way, probably. And it was a lot of fun. Yeah, I think people have discovered a lot of new ways to hang out, communicate, work during all this. There are some silver linings, I think. I hope so.

I hope. And Sean and I are having a ball with what we're doing. I mean, that whole group we're in is really fun. This is the fake killing people stuff? Fake killing people, yeah. But Sean hasn't really given, yet again, a good explanation as to why he can't get on tonight. Like, what is he possibly doing? I know, I agree. Okay, do you want to know for real? Obviously, is your power going out again? Yeah.

Sean's power went out for 24 hours, and you'd think that this guy, it's unbelievable. The pandemic was nothing compared to that. Why don't you get a generator, Sean? Yeah, right. Why don't you stay there and mind your own business? Fair enough. No, Scotty has some friends that he, a group of friends that he,

has that they're all kind of like Trekkies. And they all like, you know, so I call them the Apple Dumpling Gang. Okay. So he has a Zoom meeting with the Apple Dumpling Gang tonight. Boy, once again, just the ass crushing that must go on. All right.

You guys are the nerdiest gay guys I've ever known. It should be known. A thousand percent. Consistently, too. Different breed. Consistently. So after you're done thinking about science and space and all that stuff, then it's to the Trek. You keep it on the same sort of theme. Yeah. Well, now, yeah, I am not a Trekkie. I'm more like a Star Wars person. How dare us, right? You're just into rockets and stuff.

Yeah, right. So, Brad, I'll go fishing with all the guys, but I'll probably bring a bunch of sci-fi DVDs, a bunch of Star Wars DVDs. And you'll be in cosplay, Star Wars cosplay. Yeah.

That's right. It's a total cosplay. Luke. Do you guys ever do like a cosplay, like two different worlds, the Star Wars versus Star Trek, like lightsaber battle? That would be great if I could get a video of you in sky. Yeah, but we don't actually use the actual lightsabers. We use other things. I'll bet you don't.

On that note. Yeah, thanks, Sean. Thanks for ruining everything. Oh, said the guy who called me Jizz Propulsion Laboratory. You're the president. That's right, I am. They don't just hand those hats out.

Brad, you've been a very, very nice man, a very good sport. I've had fun. Thank you very much for doing this. I'm honored to talk to two of you guys. It's been wow. I'm looking forward to our friendship coming up and our Dodger games together. We are definitely going to a Dodger game one way or another. How often are you out here in L.A.? The three of us at a game. Amazing. Well, on a typical—I'm going to pretend I didn't hear him say that.

On a typical time frame, we'd probably once a month for a week at least. Oh, all right. Yeah, we're out there a lot, but I go all the time. So we'll go hang out. Yeah, we may have to wait for a while. But at least we've got this, right? We've got our Zoom session. We've got our podcast episode and plans for the future. What's better than that, y'all? Hands in. Whew.

You see the way I ended on a real up note like that instead of the jizz stuff you were going with, Will? By the way, even in the best of times, as if Jason would put his hand in to touch somebody else's hand, there's no way. It'd be balled up. It'd be balled up with a sleeve over it. LAUGHTER

You got to know this. Brad, you're going to see this when you guys start hanging out. If you go to get somebody to eat, he goes... As soon as you go to sit down at the restaurant, he goes to the bathroom to wash his hands, and he comes out like he's going into surgery. He's washed his hands to the elbow...

And you can't high five him. And I kick the chair out. And he kicks the chair. I won't touch the menu anymore. So I got to order first, then go to the boil. Hey, I'm exactly with you. I won't touch the menu either. By the way, I have one bone to pick with Jason now that I've met him. Were you a guest on Knight Rider? Yes, sir. Yeah, I drove the kit car. 15. I was so happy. I was your age when that happened, and I was so pissed at you that a kid got to do that. A great week, right? Yeah, it was a very quick yes for me. I bet. Yeah.

I'm just so upset about it still. You've been watching TV as long as I have. We've got stuff to cover. I'm not going to bring the radio for our game. That's my promise to you. That would mean a lot to me, actually. Well, how does that make you feel, Will? Sean, I'll just go hang with you and pretend that I don't know sports exist. You give me that foul ball back, and I'll bring you to another game. We'll watch The Mandalorian second season.

Well, thank you, Brad. Man, you're a prince of a dude. Thanks, man, for coming on here. It's been great. And we'll see you soon. I'll put you guys, I'll send you each other's digits. How about that? Boy, thanks, Willie. Thanks, Will. That's really cool. Cool way to put it too. I got all the cool sayings. I got it on a ticker tape that comes out here with all the cool expressions.

Thanks, Brad. Thanks, guys. God bless you. Good luck. Good luck with everything. See you soon. Bye, guy. So, wait, Will, did you not know that I knew Brad? I didn't know that you guys knew each other, no. Oh, yeah. And I can't check because I don't want to get like, hey, I'm going to have a guest on. I don't want to tell you what it is, but do you know Brad Paisley? No.

Right. How long have you guys known each other? You know what? All the bits and all the jokes everybody made about my gong show, I had Brad on as a, he came on as a judge on the gong show. And... Well, tell people you were a producer of the gong show, yeah. I executive produced the gong show when we brought it back a couple years ago, and I asked a lot of people to come and do it. Some people said yes, and some people said no. That's how it went. And Brad came on, and he was terrific. And some people said no. And some people said no. Repeatedly.

Uh-oh. And then change their number. So Brad... Don't make this weird. So Brad came on like a good... He was a good guy. Like a good guy does. Where he'll do something for you if he asks you to do it. Yeah. And that's what... Because he's a good person and he's selfless and he's not, you know...

Selfish. So anyway, so the point is— Wait a minute. Did you ask Jason to do it? No, that's not what we're talking about. And that's how we won World War II, because we were just selfless in that way. And some people are heroes and some people are not. Some people are at home pushing pencils and worried about their own, you know— Oh, so Jason— Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. It's unrelated. Some people hit the beach at Normandy. Some people were at home. Okay. Anyway. Some people hit the beach at Malibu. Okay. So point is—point is—

So that was super fun. How great was Brad? The best. I'm so glad that you guys are friends. And Jason. I'm about to be friends. It's a real love affair. I'll steal them from both of you guys. Yep. It's a real love affair that's blooming here. We can have visitation rights. Yeah. You guys could, you could, you felt that, right? Well, I was, I'm not crazy. Yeah.

No, not at all. Be honest. If you had anticipated that it was going to be Brad and that you guys were going to get along so well, would you have done a little bit more manscaping before? Would you have cleaned yourself up a little bit?

I would have definitely done my hair that you can see for sure. Yeah. The manscaping, I don't think it's... But just to feel good. But just so you can... It reads if you feel better. Yeah. I feel great. About what's going on down there. No, no. I feel good. I tightened a lot up yesterday. Okay, good. Good for you. Yeah, let me show you. Let me just tilt this camera down. Let's not. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Here it comes. Here it comes. Bambam.

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