"Adam Sandler"
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Hello, listener. This is Jason Bateman along with Will Arnett and Sean Hayes for the podcast called SmartList. If that's a place you're looking for, you found it. Congratulations. It's not a real high-concept podcast. One person invites a guest, the other two don't know who that guest is, and then we chat. Here we go. SmartList.com

Jason, you missed this last time. Look what I got. That's a baby Yoda? It's a baby Yoda. And there's a message on here. Is that from the Mandalorian show? Yeah, Mandalorian. This is from my friend Michael Cohen and the Cohen family. Not that Michael Cohen. But look, and he recorded this.

Welcome to Smart List, the best podcast in the world with my dear friend Sean Hayes, Jason Bateman, and William Arnett.

He went William. I like that he went William. Yeah, and Baby Yoda said that. So he's the voice of Baby Yoda? Yeah, could you not tell? He sounds Latin. I didn't know Baby Yoda. Actually, he is. Baby Yoda is Latin, huh? I got to watch that show. I'm developing a new show. It's Baby Yoda Nanny, and it's a nanny who works, who looks after. No, it's just the doll that you leave with your kids and tell them they're watching them. Yeah. It should be noted that...

Jason's haircut. Have you commented on it yet? Yeah, it looks good, finally. It looks good, right? Well, this is, guys, listen. This is just rolled right out of bed. It's such a thick head of hair. I know. It's so thick. But it's a very boyish look he's got going right now, isn't it? Yeah. It looks stupid. Very boyish. I know. I'm trying to get respect as an adult, but that's why sometimes I try to grow out my facial hair, but that takes... Do you push? It costs me a year, actually, to grow that. Because you're just saying to the world, hey, I'm a man.

Yeah. Oh, man. Deal with it. All right. So speaking of men. Sure. We have a man today. Right.

This is a funny man, a family man, and for the next hour, he's a smartless man. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler! The one and only. I did the beard. I'm sorry about this. Wow, look at that. That's a man. Look at the beard. It's gross. It's gross. Good to see you all, too. You're moving dime bags or something with a beard like that. Wow.

It started off early in the pandemic, and I just kept going because I gained a lot. So it was covering the neck. You gained a lot of weight? Of knowledge. Of knowledge. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of weight. But wait, I just read a report yesterday that said belly fat is now officially medically proven to lessen your life if you have a lot of belly fat, no matter how much other fat you have. Let's see it, Sean. Let's see it, Sean. And scream, you guys don't like cookies? Once a week, he brings it out. There it is, the bagel. That's...

I don't know who ate the cookies. What'd you call it? The bagel? The bagel, yeah. Squeeze the belly button together, make a circle. And yeah, Adam, sometimes I say to my husband, I'll switch, I'll pucker this up. I'll go, fuck that belly. Fuck that. That makes sense. It looks good.

All right, so Adam, do you have a plan aside from pushing like a bench press or something like that? What's your plan? Is it going to be diet? Is it going to be exercise? Well, this is what I'm doing and I just kind of started this. So at the beginning of the pandemic, my buddy-

I was doing the eight hours a day you eat thing, the intermittent fasting. Yeah, I do that too. So I was doing that during the pandemic, but I was starting eating at like five in the afternoon. So I was going deep into the night and then I'd wake up kind of thick. So then...

Then I got some bad information. I thought I said to him anytime. And he said, yeah, you picked the hour. So I did it. He responded while chewing, I think. He looks great. But I so anyways, I started again. I just I'm trying to calm down and I'm doing one in the afternoon to around seven, seven thirty. I quit.

And then you're done chewing until the next morning or afternoon? Yeah, until the next one o'clock rolls around. Oh, buddy, that's so good. That's a good one, but I eat a lot during the six and a half hours. It doesn't work for my body. It doesn't work for me. I tried doing that. I was on a strictly ice cream diet, but yeah. You got to try it longer than a couple of days, Will, you know?

What do you do, Will? You look good. Well, thank you. Like I said, I've been doing the walk and I've been working out and I've got this real kind of what I refer to as my jailhouse gym in my garage now. Jason's seen it. It's a disaster. But there's weights and like homemade stuff you did? Oh, there's weights and then there's like baby...

and stuff. There's just crap everywhere. It really looks like a... I have a question, Adam. How long have you been flying a spacecraft? Does that look like that? Looks like a control center. This is in my house, fellas. I just got to Philadelphia. Oh, wow. Wait, what are those? Why do you have... He's got some Nikes in a plastic box. Those are LeBron James shoes. The man who owns this house knows LeBron. Do you know the man in the house? I don't. I haven't met him yet. He's pandemic, so you rent it, he leaves. Oh, you're renting. I see. Oh.

I just got here two days ago. But he's left those shoes there for people to admire that are renters? I think he was just letting me know that I'm not the only shoe guy. Famous person that he knows. Exactly. Wait a second. Wait a second. Adam, I have to ask you this because I've never brought it up. I've only met you a handful of times over the years. We don't know each other that well. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, and I think that you're awesome and hilarious. Same thing.

And I, I. Sounds like something really insulting is about to happen. No, no, no, no. One of the, one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed. And I've, and I've quoted this a thousand times, maybe more, um, is years ago you were on Letterman. Yeah. And he said to you, I don't know. Tell me if you remember this. He said to you.

You came on Letterman and you said, you know, Dave, he said, how are you doing? You said, you know, I'm doing okay. But last year I said something and you said to me, what are you, an idiot? And you really burned me. And I was thinking about it all year. Just, I wish I'd had a better comeback. So I've been thinking I finally have a good comeback. Yeah.

And he said, okay. And he said, so ask me again. So Letterman says to you, what are you, an idiot? And you said, no, are you? Do you remember that? I kind of do, yeah. It was one of my faves. I just thought it was such a, it really got me. I'm not kidding. I've repeated it 1,500 times. That's amazing.

I used to get so nervous on Letterman. You guys all did Letterman? Blackout. Yeah, blackout nerves. That was the one guy that got you nervous, right? Yeah, I get blackout. Yeah, for sure. Every talk show. Letterman just from growing up in high school and thinking he was the best of them all. Yeah, for sure. So witty. I used to be on the side of that stage and biff.

would like, oh, okay, okay, it's coming. And I'd start going, holy shit. Like my whole head would spin and I'd feel like I was going to faint the whole time walking out. And then you'd see Dave in person. You're like, oh my God, there he is. It was so... Overwhelming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does that exist for you at all anymore? I mean, you put yourself in the wings right now about to go on for a talk show like,

tomorrow. Yeah. Do you like, you can't shake that. It's always going to be a part of you, right? You just, have you just learned how to manage it? Not that great. I, I, my whole career from starting, I did stand up when I was 17 and stuff. And I had that same weird thing where I wish I never took the gig right before I started paddicking and spinning. I forget all my lines.

And I noticed everyone else was like laughing and having a good time. I'm like, oh my God, everyone else is ready. And then, then,

rare occasions I'll go to myself in the daytime. I'll go, don't do that. Don't, don't do, do that thing where you panic. Just, just overcome that now. Get over that. And then don't you question yourself? Like why, why? Cause I, I go through the exact same thing and I'm like, why are we, why do I, why did I choose this? Yeah. We all wonder, we're always like, why did you choose this? Believe me, it comes up a lot. That's a good one.

Yeah, stick around. Will's got like three of them. No, but it's a good point. Like, Adam, I think what's cool is you actually kind of, sometimes you use your nerves. You can see it even in an instance like that. You use it to your advantage and it makes you very accessible because you're not trying to put on, you're not a different character. You are who you are. You're very authentic in that way, which is great.

Great. Yeah, you're fucking nervous because you're on Letterman. You should be. I'm nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you weren't nervous for this bullshit today. I was nervous. Sure, I was. I mean, I liked it, though. I listened to the episodes. They're all great. Come on. It's excellent. And, oh, I was psyched to be here. And I don't know. I'm the same way as you guys. I'm the same way of every...

Move you make, you go, didn't I already prove myself? Why the hell am I trying to prove myself? What the fuck am I doing? Here we go again. Yeah, exactly. The only thing that can happen is it can go bad.

You know, but that quality that Will's talking about that you have that's so personable and it's so kind and it's so authentic and so honest and so human. Has it always been like that or do you think that it's gotten even better now that you are incredibly successful and some of the ease has come into your life because you basically won? Have you gotten even nicer now?

Or, you know, like some people I'm sure you've worked with, as I have, people actually get mean and entitled when they get successful. You've actually seemed to have gone the other way. Yeah, you guys all seem the same also. It's like I had a, I think when I was young, I didn't know what I was doing as a comedian. I didn't know what I was doing as an actor. I was a little...

all over the place. I think I was a little more aggressive back then because I guess I wanted this so bad. You know, I wanted to work or I wanted whatever the hell I wanted. And I probably was mad at myself for not being great. I was a little more aggressive in my early 20s. And then I started going, by the time I was like 28,

I started calming down and being able to just relax a little more, but it took a while. Like Colin, you guys know Colin Quinn, right? Yeah. Comedian. Hilarious. I think he's one of the greatest comedians. And, and he kind of, when I went to NYU, I,

used to MC the shows and he would talk to me after my shows. I think the reason they used to hire me is I used to bring a crowd. So even though I wasn't that good, there was this place called the Paper Moon and I used to bring a crowd from NYU. Colin used to say, "You're so much funnier hanging out when we're talking in the daytime. You're doing something weird up there. You're not really being yourself."

And I used to try to go, okay, I got to be more myself. And then I would just panic right away and start doing something else. I just didn't, I guess I wasn't comfortable with being myself. And then it took a while to get to sit in it and just be okay with not getting a laugh and plowing through and that kind of stuff. Did you go to NYU for drama or for acting? Yeah, yeah. I went to Strasburg. Same. Yeah. Okay. So I have a godson who's also going to New York right now to Tisch.

And he not only has to go through drama classes and comedy and all that stuff, but

he has to go through musical theater classes. And so when I saw you do Opera Man for the first time, which is one of the funniest characters I've ever seen, I was like, holy shit, Adam Sandler can really sing. And then you would bring out the guitar and sing like, it's always hilarious. So please tell me you did musical theater in college because in my mind, that would be one of the funniest things in the world. Man, I auditioned for everything at NYU. I didn't get anything. You didn't? Oh, I want to see you do Technicolor Dreamcoat. Or something.

I did as a kid, though. I was in Oliver. I was in Oliver. I did. I played. They named a guy. I didn't really. There wasn't really. I had two lines and they said, you're I think Charlie Bates. They said, you're Charlie Bates. And I was like, yeah, I'm Charlie Bates. I kind of wanted to be the Dodger. Right. And they were like, well, you're not him. You're Charlie Bates. Yeah. Yeah. Dodger.

I thought so, too. You got a picket pocket or two, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about Smitty on The Cosby Show? Was that your first? That's not your first role. My first thing I ever did was Showtime at the Apollo. I did stand-up. I did five minutes, yeah, and I wasn't that great, but I got... Tell me, like, the first joke you ever told her, and if you'd like, I could tell you mine.

Okay, well, the one that worked for me back then was something I heard my father say to my mother, and I used it, I pretended it happened to me. I said I was driving up here in a cab, and the driver killed the dog on the way. I said, he didn't hit the dog with the car, he got out and stabbed it. That was my guaranteed laugh. And that happened because my mother, they were in the car, and my mother goes, the man...

My father said, this guy killed a dog driving the other day. My mother goes, what happened? He hit it? And he goes, no, he stabbed it, you. And so I went, oh God, that's a pretty good one. What's yours, Sean? Oh, I was terrible. I was nowhere near as talented or funny as you are. I was horrible. These guys know the one that I won't repeat. But the other one was, and it's long, so you can't, it's like 20 seconds long, okay? So it's just long for a joke. So I would go, you know, uh,

They say on Mars, the atmosphere is like 95% carbon dioxide and 5% oxygen. So I imagine one day when we live there, we'll breathe something like this.

And they didn't laugh at that. They didn't laugh. I left crying. That's solid. Did you hold your finger up when you did it? I like that, too. That's a good one. Adam, what about this discovered by comedian Dennis Miller thing? Did that happen at the Apollo? I can't imagine. You know what? It was. So I did stand up when I went to NYU. And then Dennis didn't really discover me. He just told Lorne Michaels about me. He said there's a young kid who's funny.

But when I was young, I went to school with Anthony Quinn's son, Lorenzo. He was in my acting class and he told Bill Cosby about me. And I got an introduction to the casting agent over there whose name was Barry Moss. Do you guys remember Barry Moss? I feel like I do. He used to cast a lot of stuff back in the day. Yeah.

Right. So he, he got me an audition and I played Smitty on four episodes while I was going to NYU. That was my, my first job. And that was big. I mean, Cosby show was enormous. It was the biggest show on the planet. It was incredible. And that's where I developed the whole spinning thing right before going on. I was, I was spinning like, Oh my God, I got six lives. I've got a choke so badly. And, uh,

I don't know. I became friends with Malcolm, though. He used to calm me down. He'd be like, you got this, man. Yeah, he's such a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So then how long after that did SNL happen? How old were you when that happened? SNL happened when I was 23. I moved out to, I graduated NYU and then I moved to LA and I was living out in Van Nuys.

And then gorgeous. Yeah. Yes. Right on the water. Beautiful. And I live with four guys from from NYU also. And then somehow I got Saturday Night Live and moved back.

Well, did you go and audition in L.A.? Did Lauren come out? Chicago. Chicago. When I auditioned, it was me and Chris Rock and Dana Gould and a couple other guys. At Second City or? At the Chicago Improv.

Oh, it's Scrugg and Prov. Okay. Yeah. And, and, and I remember Lauren was there and Smigel, Robert Smigel was there and Marcy Klein, a couple of others and Chris Rock got it immediately after, after the show and me and Rock know each other since we're like 17 also. And so I saw Lauren run over to Rock and I was like, Oh man, okay. He's got it. I'm out. And, uh,

And then I was flying home and no one talked to me. And I was flying home. And remember on the planes, you used to put a credit card in and it was like 25 bucks a minute and stuff. Yeah. Right. So I was scared to use that because I knew my father would kill me for wasting money. But I was just flying and flying. And I was like, I got to call my agent, man. So.

I put the credit card in and he called and I said, did they say anything? They liked you. They thought some of your writing was good. I said, oh, okay. And what's that mean? They were like, well, they maybe want you as a writer. And I said, what do you mean? I

I think I was like insane. I was like, I want to be a, but I want to be a star. I love the guy next to you on the plane. Probably. It's just like, Oh boy. Yeah. This guy wants to be a star. You can't talk quietly on a plane. But I want to be a star.

Get in line, buddy. Get in line. We all knew. Yeah, man. I don't know. So eventually I got hired as a writer. A writer for what? Like a year and then on camera? Yeah, I did. It was a thing called writer feature player. And me and Spade and Schneider had that. And you would do that. I'm sure you guys all know this stuff, but you would write, write,

for everyone else and then give yourself a line like as a delivery guy and try to get on and score and, you know, and you'd score...

After 10 shows, they started going, "All right, that guy's okay. Let's give him a couple of lines." Right, gotcha. Used to see that a lot with JB Smoove. He would always get himself into sketches. Oh, yeah! Always see JB on there, and you'd be like, "Oh, yeah." But how cool-- You go for your audition, and it's there with Lorne and Marcy, of course, and Smigel.

And you couldn't have known, of course, that that would become this lifelong partnership. I mean, how wild, right? When you look back at that moment. Yeah, sure, man. I mean, Smigel was... In fact, I heard later that Smigel was kind of in my court, that he was going... That one kid was funny. I think we need that on the show, somebody young. And they were like, well, we already have David and Rob. We don't need any more of that. And so Smigel and Jim Downey, I heard...

would stand out for me a little bit. And Lorne liked me. He thought I was good. He just didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't easy to digest. I was mumbling up there and I was a nervous wreck. And I'm hostile. Like I used to be when somebody heckled me, I used to like yell at them and not say anything funny. No one is funnier getting pissed off than you are. Oh, well, I turned it into something good. But in the beginning...

I used to just be psychotic and get like challenged people to something like curse at him. And see the way he just dropped his face right then. It just got like deadly fucking serious. I love like there there's just there's no middle with you. Like he's either super sweet and like I can't get out of my way and then just drop the gloves and I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, I love those swings. I don't even know how that happened.

And I just because I don't want to fight anybody, I'd get I'd probably get killed. But I was always ready to go. Have you been in a lot of fights as a kid or? When I was a kid, when I was a kid, now I would literally just run so fast. Anytime I feel it coming, I start my heart's pounding through my chest and I'm like, oh, shit, I got to get out of here. But back then, back as a kid, yeah, I'm sure you guys did the same.

It doesn't hurt as much to get hit when you're little. I like the idea that Lauren's going like, hmm, I guess we could use a nervous mumbler.

Now, what about, is it true that they fired you and Farley in 95? Or is that overstated? No, I mean, what happened was, it was kind of the end of it. People, we were repeating ourselves, I'm sure. There was a new guy running NBC. He didn't like the young guys that much. He didn't like us. I think he didn't like Norm.

And he kept saying, we got to get rid of them. Nobody likes them. And Lauren was standing up for us and trying to defend us and kept us on a while. And then I got a call from my manager. You know, everyone at Brillstein Gray kind of represented every guy on the show and woman on the show. So I got him.

hey, maybe it's time to move on to me kind of call. And I was like, I don't know, man. I think maybe I'll do another year or something. They were like, yeah, but maybe you should move on. I was like, nah, I want to stay. I think I'll stay. And they kept going, I think it's time to move on. I was like, do I have to move on? They were like, it's good if you move on. I was like, oh, okay, okay, now I got you. All right, I'm moving on. So it was kind of like a fake quit, fake try to beat them to firing me.

That was like me at every high school I went to. I swear to God. Really? You got kicked out? I'm like, no, I didn't get kicked out. They just asked me not to return. What did you do to get in trouble growing up? I did all the stupid stuff. I was, you know, smoking cigarettes. I grew up in Canada, so there were a lot of woods to escape to. Yeah, yeah. So I was always out there, like, you know, drinking airplane bottles and smoking butts. But also, I was a wise ass. I was like...

I said to my dad actually once, I was such a wise ass. And of course, the worse the infraction or the bigger the joke that you can make, and especially at the teacher's expense, the bigger the laugh you'd get from the audience or as I'd call my classmates.

And so I would fuck around and they'd get really mad. And years later, I remember my dad was out here and I just built this house and it was like everything. And my dad was like, wow, this house is beautiful. And I said, yeah, who knew that fucking around could pay off, huh? And he finally had to admit like, man, you're kind of right. Because I was a pain in the ass. You know what I mean? Like my poor dad. Sure, sure, man. You figure out how to channel it. Yeah.

All right. So then were things sort of set up in a way where transitioning out of that show and into other possible sources of employment were kind of set up? Like, were you feeling confident? Did you go right into, was it Happy Gilmore was first out of there? I think I did Billy Madison when I was on the show. By the way, when I got fired, I was confident until I got fired. And then I was like, oh, no.

Yeah, that's the way that works. Right? I kept, while I was there, going, these guys don't get it, what I got, man. They don't understand. And then right when they were like, yeah, go do it on your own, then I was like, holy shit. First of all, you humiliated that people don't want you, and you got to tell people, like...

Yeah, I'm not on the show. And they're looking you in the eyes going, you got fired? And you're like, no. You know, you're making up shit. But it's like doing what we do, you're effectively getting fired at the end of every single job. You have to go find another job. And if you're having a really good year as an actor, you get fired like six or seven times. You know, like you've got six or seven. And you have to.

Like there's no guarantee. There's no diploma that you can kind of – That's true, man. It's job interview after job interview and it's – I remember buying the attitude that I realized I should have been renting when things kind of dried up and I was really confident until they just didn't want me anymore. And it's like, well, now you got to build up a whole ego and coping mechanism to get yourself confident that's not reliant on employment. That's really –

Really hard to do. Oh, God. Yeah, sitting on the bench and being shook up. I'll tell you, no kidding. I loved you when I was a kid. I thought you were incredible. I swear to God. I thought you were cool as shit. You guys too? Yeah. Huge fan. I wanted to look like you. I wanted to fucking...

being like cool and calm and funny like that. And I always thought you were awesome. I'm not lying to you. And I loved your sister too. Thank you. Do you remember Jason's show? He had that show, It's Your Move. Did you ever see that? It was like a spinoff of Silver Spoons. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. I think I knew him more on the Hogan family. The Hogan family was after that or Valerie. Yeah, yeah. When Jason got his star on the Walk of Fame out here in Hollywood because he's a big Hollywood guy.

And so when he was in Hollywood, we're worried because he's a liberal elite. And so anyway, so I get up and they asked me, he asked me to say a couple words. And I said, you know, when I was growing up, I remember watching Family Ties and seeing Justine Bateman and thinking, man.

I wonder if she's got a brother. That's a good one, man. But I loved him. We felt the same way. This comes up all the time. We used to always look at Jason and be like, oh, man, that guy's – because he was a smart ass. He was confident. He had great hair. Oh, I was so confident. I thought I was such hot shit. And then the phone stopped ringing. I did not know what to do. My 20s was a whole regroup. I just had to build it back up from zero.

Jason and I had lunch like decades ago at the Chateau Marmont, which houses the liberal elite. That's right. And Jason said to me, I don't know if you remember this, Jason. You said to me, we were just talking about careers and whatever and the ups and downs. And you said, none of it is up to you. None of this is up to you. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. To try and control things that are out of your control. It's not a meritocracy. You know, like in sports, like if you're a 300 hitter, you're guaranteed employment. That's true. In acting or any form of, pardon the term, art, it's so subjective. You can't rely on, well, I'm the best at singing or the best at painting or it doesn't matter, the best in whose eye. Yeah, yeah.

And then so, Adam, so kind of taking that, like one of the things that I think is really awesome about what you've done, you've had incredible success, but is, you know, I've tried to, especially in the last couple of years, I don't want my work to define who I am as a person or how happy I am. It's about family. I know you're a really big family guy. Sure. You've got a lot of really close friends. Yeah. And even in your work, you do stuff that's,

that you want to do and you do stuff because you know it's going to take time and then you know that it's, you know, it cuts into school and all that kind of stuff. And it feels like you gear everything towards making it fit your life and making sure that you're happy and your happiness. You're truly not a Hollywood guy. I can say that. And you don't define yourself by it, right?

I kind of, you know, I lucked into having the career of getting to write stuff and get to do it. And not everybody has that luxury. I'm sure more people would do what I'm doing if they could just, you know, just say to the...

head of a company, hey, let me do it in October because it's, you know, I got a lot of luck on my side. Right. But you earned that position. You really have. I got that after a while. After a while. Yeah, let me really quick ask you something about that and then back to what Will was saying because when you were younger and you broke into film for the first time and how much of that success was like,

you know, agent business driven and you were just along for the ride and how much of it was self-generated and kind of ambitiously coming directly from you? I was ambitious in a weird way. I just, I always kind of got in the beginning, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe next time they would hire somebody else when I would do auditions and stuff. I remember auditioning for

for a few movies as a kid. When I was like 21, 22, and they'd always pick somebody else. And I was like, God damn, these guys don't get it, man. And I was such an asshole, you know? And whoever they picked, I would be like, oh yeah, okay, man. Like I was hostile. Mistake. Yeah, what a mistake. And then I...

I wrote "Billy Madison" with Tim Herlihy when we were on "Saturday Night Live," and I gave it to Lorne, and Lorne was already doing "Tommy Boy" with Chris.

And so, well, yeah, that's awesome. And he's, he was, it was the first time me and Chris had an either or kind of thing. And Lauren said, we're doing Tommy boy. We can't do Billy Madison. Actually Tommy boy used to be called Billy the third. It was two Billy movies. Yeah. They were like two, the two Billy movies. And we would look at each other like who's to get a pick and they, and they picked, you know, Tommy boy. And, and I was going, Oh man,

oh man, I guess that's done. We'll write another one, Hurley. And then like, I was in this movie called Airheads and the producer of that one called me like five months later. He's like, I read this script you and Hurley wrote called the Billy Madison. Do you want to do that? And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? What do you mean? He was like, I could get that done for you for like,

$6 million budget. I was like, I was like, I get $6 million? He goes, no, not you. I didn't know what any of that shit meant. But he got it fucking... He did Problem Child at Universal, which was a low-budget movie and made a lot of money. So they said...

get some more of those kind of things. So somehow Bob Simon's got this movie. I asked Lauren, I said, no, that movie you said you didn't want to do. Is it okay if I do it with this other guy? He's like, do anything you want. So I did Billy Madison and then that kind of got me going on

I mean, I remember when I first did that, everything that they talked to me about doing after that was doing my goofy voice and being very, you know, the same Billy Madison again. And then I had that Happy Gilmore thing that me and Hurley, he wrote. And they were trying to talk me out of that. They were saying there was a movie called Ed with Woody Harrelson, the monkey, you know.

No, no, that's Ed TV. It's a one with Matt, Matt, Matt LeBlanc. And and they want to be with the monkey. And they were like, do that. That's more like Billy Madison. I said, I think let me do I'll do that one after I do the golf one. Is that OK? And they were like, no.

And so I had to make a stand and say, no, no, no, we got to do this Happy Gilmore movie. By the way, two of the funniest movies ever. No kidding. And hugely successful. Fuck. Ah, thanks. I mean, they're good. I'm psyched. That's in my... They go down in history as with all...

all the other great comedy movies. I mean, it's kind of cool. But then the success was so, one after the other after the other. Yeah. Was there a strategic consideration when Punch Drunk Love came about? Or was that more of a react? Did Paul Thomas Anderson come to you and only in hindsight do you see it as a great strategic sort of balancing thing, offsetting the goofiness? Yeah. Or did you think ahead and kind of seek out something that might counterbalance all of that?

All that. That was all luck. I mean, in my head, Will, you did Strasberg, right? So I thought I was good at acting. I was like, wow, I'm going to surprise somebody someday and really act. But it wasn't on my mind. I kind of liked Eddie Murphy and I wanted that kind of career and I just wanted to be a comedian. And then I was doing, I think, Little Nicky or something like that. Or, yeah, something like that. And...

And Paul was friends with Tom Cruise. They did Magnolia together. And I met Tom Cruise when Nicole Kidman hosted SNL. You know how you get to meet everybody because SNL. So I met Cruise and I'm like, God, I cruise had a Yankee hat on, like dip down low. And he looked up and he goes, Hey man, I was like in love with him. Like, Oh my God, I'm in love with Tom Cruise. And, uh,

That makes sense. Of course. Anyways, Tom called me up. I'm on my set. He goes, hey, my friend, I'm doing a movie with my friend Paul. He's a great director and he's interested in doing a movie with you. Can I put him on the phone? Wow. And I said, yeah, yeah, sure, man. And he gets on and Paul was very nice and he was going, hey.

I loved Billy Madison. And I go, okay, man, thanks. I didn't know who he was. And he's like, and I just love your movies and your albums. And I was like, okay, cool, man. Okay, creep. Yeah. I didn't know what he was talking about. He's like, he goes, is it okay if I write you a movie?

I said, you can do whatever you want, man. That's great. Just stay away from my house. But he was sweet. I can tell he was funny. That's like Picasso saying, is it okay if I paint you a painting? I know, right? I know. It was the luckiest thing. And then, honest to God, fellas, it was like 11 o'clock in the morning and I had nothing to do and Magnolia just came out. And I said, I think that's that kid's movie.

Paul, I'm going to go see that. And I went alone and I was in the front row. It was sold out with all real film kind of people. And I was looking up at it and I was going, I was fucking terrified. I was like, oh, this guy's fucking better than me, man. I don't want to fucking be in this. I'm going to ruin his movie, whatever the fuck. You know, I was like, holy shit. And I called him up and on the way home, I was like, holy shit, I just saw your movie. He's like, yeah, yeah. I was like,

fuck and the frogs and the holy shit. I was so excited about everybody. And I was like, oh, fuck, man. So you're writing that movie, man? He goes, yeah, yeah, I'm almost done. I'm going to get it over to you. I was like, well, when the fuck is that coming? You know, I started to get very excited. And then he did it so cool, man. I lived in this, I rented a house on the top of Bel Air Road with my buddies. And he came up

And he knocked on the door and he's like, "I got the script." And I said,

here's my present to you. And I go, oh, okay. He goes, go ahead and read it and tell me what you think. And I go, you're going to stay here? He goes, no, I'm going to go for a drive or something like that. And I just sat in the other room and I read it and I was like, oh my God, man, I don't know if I can fucking do this. No way. And so he comes back after his drive and you got a bunch of notes, right? You're like, great. A couple things, Paul. It's all marked up. It's all, move this. Yeah.

That's true. No, I was fucking scared. Like, like, yeah, you know, when you get something and you just go, oh, she's man. I always said I can do this ship and this is too much, man. And he talked me through it and got me comfortable. He's incredible, though. I mean, he's yeah. His taste is just.

unreal. I love that he's a huge comedy nerd too, apparently. And that he can see the amount of acting it takes for you to pull off believably what you do is, you know, right in line with his, with his tastes and his abilities. And I just, I'm such a big fan of his. And then the Safdie brothers, you know, I mean, Uncut Gems is just,

Absolutely stunning. I don't mean to jump ahead. They had fun. Betty and you talking at Aniston's was a great night. I just am crazy about those guys as well. And two of my favorite filmmakers, well, that would be three, put you as a lead in their films. And I hope that you take as much pride in that as you deserve. Absolutely. That was an incredible performance, man. It really was. It was so nice.

nuanced and deep and this guy, like it was... You guys, you know, honestly, you could do it. You guys could do it too. I know you're all great. All three of you guys are great actors and funny as shit. Who's better? Yeah. Is there one that's better? You're number one, Sean. They know that. Definitely. We're fighting for the silver over here. Yeah, you don't need to. You're both solid. But Sean's number one. So I would imagine that you...

you love the creative process of doing a drama and also the process of doing a comedy. I'm not going to ask you which is your favorite, but what would be your ideal ratio between comedy and drama and like kind of like fun films with your friends versus kind of working for a director? I'm starting to get a lot of serious kind of offers and I love reading that stuff. But

But it is more of a decision in my brain. I'm like, shit, once I say yes to that, then it's fucking, it's a whole other thing in your trailer and you're fucking rocked and you got to think into shit that makes you uncomfortable and slightly humiliating out there in front of people doing some of the shit they want you to do. Right, right.

And so it's a decision, but I like it. I want to do that stuff. But I also love doing the comedy shit and the fact that, you know, I just did probably the goofiest movie I've done in a long time that, you know, shit I would have done when I was 23. But I'm still happy doing it. Hubie, Hubie Halloween.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? What is it? I don't know anything about it. It's on Netflix, right? It's coming out on Netflix and it's a Halloween movie and it's all comedians and all. It's like a. And our kids will love it. Yeah. And my kids, I do that because I get excited for kids to laugh and stuff like that. And shit, I've been doing my whole career and I still love that stuff.

But being able to do both, I mean, good God, you can make an eight-year-old laugh and you can make a 70-year-old cry. I mean, come on. Not a lot of people can do that at all.

Thank you. I'm lucky. Yeah. Yeah. Adam, you said, I read somewhere a long time ago, you said, I'll do this for as long as they let me. Yeah. And they, I love that. And they keep letting you because you're incredible and talented and likable and winning. And is there a time when you actually tell them that you're done or you're still having the time of your life? Like what, what else? Cause you work more than anybody. Like you never stop working. I, I, I, I,

I don't know when I'm going to stop. I look at like, you know, I know Dustin and I know Nicholson and Pacino and those guys and those guys, they're addicted to work too. I mean, I had lunch with Pacino and he still gets excited about shit and he's just...

I read this amazing script and he still wants to kick ass. And I kind of think I could stop. And then when I'm stuck like this pandemic, man, would not work. And holy shit was I losing my mind and fucking every day becomes the same.

jumpy shit and my fucking family certainly wanted me to work they were like Jesus Christ he's fucking insane get him out of here I heard you were out on the golf course a little bit yeah we heard we heard from a friend that oh I hit into your buddy yeah who's your buddy that I almost hit by the way Tom Warner tell Tommy I'm sorry okay

Are you a big golfer? Because I'm finding that that is keeping me off the streets a little bit during this pandemic. You've been playing a lot? Yeah. Well, you know, I met you a long time ago, like 20 years ago. You were friends with Brill. Yeah. I think back then. And I was at a party and I saw some...

that they interviewed you on like a show and you had a, you golfed on it. And I saw you at the thing. I said, dude, I just saw you. You got a great swing. And you kind of like, okay, okay. And that was it. But I remember going, oh, that fucking guy knows how to golf.

He's got a great swing. He does have a great swing. I didn't have a career at that point. He's got a great swing. We've both taken it up in the last couple weeks. We've been a little irritating to our significant others. Yeah, it's a long day, golf day, right? Are you addicted to it, or is it just something that you just kind of slap around? No, tell your buddy what happened was I'm a member of...

and I fucking live right down the street. So I haven't golfed since I've had kids. I don't golf that much, just like you're saying, Will, because of the whole five hours away and the stare you get when you get home of like, are you fucking kidding me? But while they're in school, we got to pass while they're in school, right? That's right. That's supposed to be it, but I still get nervous leaving the house and coming back to a fucking whole other mood. So I-

I know what you guys are talking about because when I make banana bread, I'm like, do I pull it out at the right, like when is the, do I leave it in another five minutes? Do I not? It's crazy. It's just like it. Well, listen, I know you must feel guilty about paying all those dues over there at Riviera and not using the course. So Will and I want to help you out.

Yeah, everyone out there. Just kind of getting a little bit more active out there. So you just let us know. You guys are playing real well. Like in the 80s or 70s? No, well... He is. I'm playing like shit. But Jason's game is getting together. But what we've been doing is we've been calling guys that we know who we know belong places because we don't. Yeah, that's where you come in. Hey, you playing these days? And then they go, yeah. And we go, well...

Jason, we're available on Wednesday. We're willing to keep you company. Wow, man. Adam, I'm always like, I always ask funny parents this. Like,

Will and Jason are two of the funniest people I know. They always make me laugh so hard. And we've always talked about, do their kids find them funny? Do your kids, and you're obviously fucking hilarious. Do your kids find you funny or not at all? Or like, do they get your sense of comedy? Do they watch your funny movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty good at home. I'm happy when I make them laugh because when I'm,

asking him to practice something or that kind of guy. They like, they don't like him, but they like to funny me. They get, they, I do pretty good. Oh, good. I make, I make them comfortable. And then I, I definitely try to be funny a lot and try to get laughs. I don't always, always score like,

I try to take them out of their moods. I think growing up, that was my move too. When I felt my father about to fucking go nuts on me, of course, I said a few jokes to lighten him up. I think I do that with the kids too. When I see him upset about something, I go to the jokes. Do you guys do that? A hundred percent. Adam, who's the disciplinarian then? If you make them laugh every once in a while, I mean, is Jackie the one that's laying down the law or do you do both? I heard you guys talking about this. You're lighter than I'm...

I'm lighter, but I would imagine you might be similar to me where you're the class clown, you're the joker, but then you can swing all the way to the other side and really get serious if you need to. And there's really nothing in between. Oh, yeah. I think I get really fucking nuts when they just scared eyes at me when I'm like, no, you have to know this

Right when I start raising my voice. That Jackie would not do. Like Amanda would not do that. She covers the whole middle ground and I'm like the bookends. Jackie cuts me off in the middle of that too and starts going. She takes a weapon out of your hand, right? You got it. Yeah. She's like, they can't understand. The weapon, I guess, is my fucking loud. Right.

you know, semi-angry tone all of a sudden. She's just like, stop, stop. You can't, they don't understand when you're doing that. They're just like, they have to know this, all right? Listen to how loud I am. Yeah, exactly. And then it goes away and then I'm a kiss ass most of the time. I like keeping them fucking happy. I like when they're happy and laughing and, but I put some pressure on them. Not, not about,

I don't know if you guys have this, but everything I did, I would just go outside and practice and fucking basketball, baseball, even bike riding. I would just like be in my own fucking world, just driving in circles, trying to hop off a curb, trying to pop a wheelie, whatever the fuck that was. And I don't see...

My kids want to do that as much as me. So I'm like, there's nothing you want to get good at. Right. I do that, that shit. And they're just like, not just not what you want us to get good at. We want to get good at what we like, you know? All right. Well, in closure, I have one last question for you. What makes you happiest in all of these, all of these areas of your life? There's, it seems like there's so much.

harmony and everything's kind of cruising and there's so many things to bring you happiness. I'll bet you'll say family or some garbage like that. And by the way, this is Jason's looking at, this is going to be informative. He's looking for something to make him happy. So he's looking for clues, whatever kind of clue you can find him. Yeah. Uh, if you had to put usually where do you find yourself the most sort of just serene and this is a great day. Well, fuck I,

I would have to say when shit's going good at home, everything is good. That's true. You know what I mean? When the kids and your wife or your partner are happy and there's nothing else to be concerned about, you're just fucking free to be

who you were as a kid, you know? Like, that's when I feel like, shit, I'm making a movie. This is great. When I'm fucking making a movie and I get a call from home and something's off, I'm like, I'm fucking lost. Totally. I'm lost until that shit gets resolved, right? And you got to act good and the other actors are joking around and you're kind of like, what? Like, you're beat behind. And,

And you're looking at your phone because you're like, fuck, is this thing going to resolve itself? Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fucking heartache. Heartache for no reason. And then all of a sudden... I doubled mine because I now have like an ex-wife. So I want to make sure that Amy's happy and also my partner is...

I've got like way too many people I'm worried about are happy now. Sure, sure. So it sounds like a complaint. Listen, I'm a very lucky guy, but still. Yes, absolutely. No, we all are. But the ups and downs in my own brain,

I can't, I never have a fucking 24 hour happy day. I don't see that ever, ever coming my way, but I have, when I'm, when I'm working, I'm pretty like, all right, let's, all right. How about you guys when you're working? Are you like, this is great. Or are you kind of like. When the phone is off. Cause you're working and it's, and you're on set and you're in that thing. That is a great space when you're really in it. I remember for me, one of my happiest times was.

When Jason and I were first doing Arrested Development, and so people, you didn't text as much back then. It was because everybody still had to flip phones. I remember we got a new flip phone. I was so psyched. A two-way pager. A two-way pager thing. We had those. And I just remember, like, you'd go to work. You'd leave your trailer or whatever, your dressing room. You'd go on the set, and you're on there for, like, four hours, and you're not contacting the outside world, and you're in this thing working, and you're in it.

That is a happy memory for me. But if you know that there's something a little sideways back home, you still can't 100% enjoy it. So staying a little bit ahead at home and making sure that that's all running smoothly and it will be smooth again tomorrow too because I'm not just – I'm doing something proactive to keep it going forward and staying ahead of it. I've been trying to do lately. My wife's –

When I know I go on Tuesday, I got a pretty big scene, blah, blah, blah. She'll go, OK. And then she'll kind of block shit. She should not bring shit up to me on a big day. Oh, that's nice. That's pretty nice. And then. Yeah, that's nice. Anyways. And then you run lines with her.

Yeah. Oh, my God. All the time. And she's good at finding shit that I wasn't going to do in the scene and going like, well, don't you know what that line means? Oh, that's awesome. She does that for me. Yeah. Yeah. I do it all the time here. You do that with Scotty? Constantly. That's nice. Are you good at memorizing your lines, Adam?

Not too good. How about you? Jason's the best in the biz. The best of all time. Will's really good at it, too. That's that fucking TV shit. That's that TV shit. Yeah. It's fucking unbelievable. I'm surprised that Saturday Night Live didn't kind of grind that in on you, or were you just looking at the cards the whole time? Both. They tell you to, right? I would do the panic thing like before Letterman. I remember I did this shit on Weekend Update where I did costumes, crazy, I'm crazy pickle arm and all this shit, and I had to...

to this thing where I was, I'm crazy under the desk guy. So I remember in my head, I went, when you're crazy under the desk guy, there's no cue cards because you're going under the desk and you got to remember your shit. And I remember I fucking live, I went under my desk and it was like, my head's going, holy shit, there's no fucking cue cards. You're in trouble, man. And I think I remembered most of them and got it done. But no, I like knowing the cue cards were around.

You were tight with Wally, right? Was Wally doing Q Crunch back then? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. I know Wally. He just texted me out of the blue the other day. He's such a good guy. He's doing well. He's got fucking some other business he's doing right now. Yeah, I don't know. He's, yeah. I haven't heard from him in years, but Wally was the guy, the Q Crunch guy. He's got an amusement park now. I think he just started an amusement park. What is it for, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Old John Candy's working there. It's nice. Adam, you're incredibly generous to give us all this time. Thank you for saying yes to doing the show in the first place. Thank you for asking me, guys. We love you. Congrats on your show. It's a great thing you're doing and getting to hang out all the time together, and you're great guys. We're pretty lucky. We're very appreciative. So looking forward to seeing you on the golf course tomorrow. We'll be there probably about 8, 30, 9 o'clock. Yeah, we'll wait. We're going to warm up first. I know you don't like to warm up, but we will warm up. Right, right on, man.

All right. We love you. Say hi to your family. Love you, pal. You too. Thanks, buddy. Good to see you guys. Okay. Bye, pal. All right. Later, guys. He's fantastic. What a good, decent guy. So engaging. Like I could listen to him talk for hours. And by the way, how he's talking about all that anxiety that he has. I'm like, yeah, I totally get that. I relate. Yeah. He stayed. He stayed so human when he's had many opportunities, probably not to.

He's able to stay very loyal to his friends. He's also putting up a great product. He's got his family with him. Like he's just been so smart the way he's kind of put all these pieces that are available to him into a certain direction that I would imagine perpetuates so much happiness for him and so many people that are close to him and obviously his audience as well. He's a good human being. Yeah. Yeah. He's a well-rounded guy and he's got a sort of,

happy life. Uh, and for me anyway, I like looking at the people who are having a happy life because it's not defined by what they do, but it's defined by, uh, so many other things starting with family and what they do with the things that are available to them in their life, whether it be, you know, really expensive, nice things or, uh,

What you do with what you've got, I think, is a good test. Yeah. Thank you to Adam for joining us. That was a great one. So good, Jason. I like that. Gosh. He better take us golfing. He better take us golfing. And thank you, listener, for joining us for another hour of SmartLess. Oh. Bye. Bye.

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