Alieology (YOUR HOST): an Ask-Me-Anything Goofy Hang
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I know I usually save my secrets for the end of the episode, but I'm going to tell you my secret favorite candy. It's Reese's peanut butter.

It's really Reese's anything. But Reese's peanut butter cups are the thing that I'm like, have I had a bad day? I get these. Have I had a good day? I get these. Chocolate, salty peanut butter, the textures. I love everything about them. Also that there's two. So I'm like, oh, I get this one for later, which is one second later. Anyway, Reese's peanut butter cups. I love you. That's all. If you're me, you can shop Reese's peanut butter cups now at a store near you. Found wherever candy is sold. And I am.

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Oh, hey, it's your sister-in-law who's staying in your guest bedroom recording a podcast because it's the day after Christmas. Hi, it's Allie Ward. This is a weird one of ologies. It's not a typical one of ologies. This is an AMA that I'm handing off to you on a platter of leftovers. It's not really a platter of leftovers, but you're like, oh, it's like when you make a sandwich with the leftovers. It's holidays, and here's a little fun one, a little out of the ordinary.

Y'all on Patreon submitted a bunch of questions asking me anything. So we're going to run through as many as we can. If you're like, how do I do that? How do I become a patron? It's a dollar a month, one big dollar a month. You can join at patreon.com slash ologies and submit questions before we record. Also, thank you to everyone who leaves reviews. I don't have one in front of me. I usually read one, but we're doing this.

to see if we can do no edits. And so there's going to be stumbles. There's going to be weird stuff in here. But I'm enlisting the help of my former editor and current husband, Jarrett Sleeper, to ask me questions. We were going to have Mercedes Maitland do it, but she's off for the holiday. And so we're pulling someone back into the fray who no longer edits Ologies because...

it's more fun to just be married than to have to work together on deadlines all the time. Anyway, I'm already letting this get away from me. We're going to answer some of your questions. Some of them are weird. Some of them are like how to do a podcast and others are like, why do you wear that sweater all the time? So let's go. Here we go. Welcome to the AMA of Allie Ward. In many senses, one could consider this Allieology. Oh boy. Okay. We're lying in the guest bed

of Jarrett's sleeper, Samantha's sleeper, and Chris Berry. And we're laying in bed, lying in bed, the dogs between us. We're going to run through your questions. We have 39 pages of questions you submitted. We're going to get to every single one of them. I think this episode is going to be probably maybe like 10, 12 hours. Yeah, I'm going to do every single one. Perfect, perfect. We've got lozenges. I'm hooked up to an IV for hydration.

I'm wearing astronaut diapers. Let's go. Oh, hey. That's me because I'm the interviewer this time. Okay, cool. All right. This first question comes from Daniel Schmaniel. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wish I had an audio clip. Maybe I can put one there. But I wanted to be Porky Pig or a star in the sky. Oh.

My mom recorded me asking what I wanted to be, and I distinctly remember wanting to be Porky Pig. I didn't understand that that was not an option for a human being. I suppose I could still cosplay as that. No one's telling me I can't. In some sense, you know, you still get to go, but that's all, folks. Yeah. You know, which is kind of a Porky quality. I'm pissed I didn't have that as my sign-off all these years. A star in the sky. Little did I know as a tiny tot that we all started off as Stardust, didn't we? You can see the cosmology episode for more on that.

There's more on that. It's linked in the bio. All right. Josh Fry asked, when you were a kid, let's say 10 to 12-ish, what did you imagine about adult life that is one, closest to your life today, and two, furthest from your life today? Wow, that's a complicated question. I...

Wow. Yeah.

I hit my 24th birthday and I was like, get the suit out of the bag. And then I just, I don't know where those kids went. I liked them when I had them. I didn't have any kids or a lavender business suit at 24 or an updo. So that was wrong. One thing about being an adult, it's pretty tight. You can eat pie for breakfast if you have stable blood sugar and you can still have a job that's fun.

I remember I liked to look through the classified ads as a kid, which were still on newspaper, and be like, ooh, I could do this job or this job. But then I found out that all the best jobs aren't in the classified ads in the back of a newspaper. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think so. Because those were all trade jobs that I didn't know how to do at the time. Right. But also... A lot of ways those do sound like the best jobs to me now. They do, yeah. My little brother just finished working on a Christmas tree.

That sounds pretty great. I know. I know. But at the time, I couldn't just slide into those. I needed way more skills. Okay. So what was closest to your life today, though? I have a dog. Mm-hmm. You thought you were going to have a dog? She's great. Yeah. She's great. When I thought about having a dog, I was like, what if it's just like a frozen yogurt machine of poop and it hates me? Well, it kind of is one of those things. She does hate us sometimes. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

She's pretty well trained in the bowel department, though. Les Johnson asks, when did you first expand your audience beyond your elementary classroom? You must have always wanted to share knowledge. I like how you're giving some spice to these. Just trying to read them without stumbling too hard. I don't like it. And I should have put glasses on because I'm squinting a lot at the screen. Increase the font size, like zoomy zoom. No, I like the challenge. I forgot that question.

Well, there wasn't really a, well, there was a question in the first half, but there was a commentary afterwards. When did you first expand your audience beyond your elementary classroom? You must have always wanted to share knowledge.

My best friend growing up was named Erin Campbell, and she lived across the street from me. And we met when we were four. And she was six months older than me, so I thought she knew absolutely everything in the world. She was also in a first grade and kindergarten grade mixed classroom. So I was like, she knows everything first graders do. She's the smartest person in the world. And I think once I told her something about acorns, she didn't know. And I was like, what?

Wow. This is exciting to share things with people who I thought knew everything. Funny side note about Erin Campbell, her name now, Erin Talbert. She's admin of Theology's podcast Facebook group. We thank her at the end of every episode. Erin, I love you. Do you like, like, is it, is it the feeling that you...

The feeling that you get that you told someone the thing they didn't know? Or is it the feeling that you believe you're witnessing someone else have as they learn something new?

I think I like learning stuff so much. It's nice to reciprocate. I got this uncle Bob who at the family reunions would take us out on a canoe and be like, that's an Osprey nest. That's a turtle. And I was like, wow, if I hadn't hopped in this canoe with uncle Bob, I wouldn't know anything. I wouldn't know jack shit about the ecology of this lake. So I, I think uncle Bob also was one of those, but, um,

He was like in the forestry service and a bit of a naturalist, not a naturalist, like a nude, but like a net. I think that's a different, I think that's a slightly different word, but I think so. It was just like, oh, I suddenly appreciate things around me that I didn't before. So I think I, I like giving people context for things that might make them appreciate their surroundings more. Cause I like that.

I remember going on a hike with someone who was into foraging and realizing just how that context, you can eat that, you can use this as a medicine. Hiking when I was a kid, they were like, the bark of the aspen tree is something that turned into aspirin. I was like, it really does change.

It's no longer just a pretty thing you're looking at. It's like a world you're involved with that's involved with you. We have an ethnobotany episode coming up. I think it's a willow tree, but I don't know. I think you're right. But aspirin and aspen, that'd be tight. The marketing needs to get on that. It is something like that. I don't know. It is something. Hit the bark of the aspen tree. Well, you're going to have to wait for the ethnobotany episode. I'm going to make it. I'll have to make an aside for this while I edit it. Are we doing asides? Probably not. Okay, good. This is a D to your own asides episode.

all right um google it yourself yeah some extensively google and vet yourself all right someone someone did ask this this is not a highlighted one but i'm going to ask because i think this kind of stuff is interesting i think is fun to potential rick peralt asked so after discovering you grew up in sacramento and are almost the same age as me i have to know which school did you go to oh william brooks elementary which

better not be any question on any things to get into my passwords and stuff. Gosh, I hope not. Um, it was in Eldorado Hills, uh, which was outside of Sacramento. And at the time it was mostly cow pastures. And I don't think the high school was accredited. I think it was not seen in the eyes of our Lord, the U S States of America that, uh,

That reminds me of that. I personally believe. Yeah. So far you thought the exact same thing. That some people don't have maps. Such as, for example. Such as. I think if I had to do an aside here, I think it was Miss Teen like North Carolina gave an answer about geography. I personally believe. Yeah, that's legendary in map communities. Some people out there.

But yeah, it was not accredited. And now that town has turned very she-she and there's like a Mercedes dealership. But yeah, at the time it was cow pastures and we would romp around and I would, my sister and I would get a stick and we'd go out and look for cow patties. And one of us would poke the cow patty with a stick and the other would try to decide how old it was and write it down on a clipboard. Fieldwork from a young age, constant.

Kind of on the heels of that, Mish the Fish asked, what was your favorite part of being a UCSB gaucho? Mine was the free massage chair at CAPS. I don't know what any of that means. I went to US...

UCSB? UCSB for my first year of college. And so I was a gaucho. I was the mascot. I'm not exactly sure what a gaucho does. I think they wear... Is it a cowboy? I think they wear some kind of pants with flair. It looks like a vaquero. But my favorite part about going to UCSB, I'm sorry, dear listener, was transferring because it was so fucking expensive that I went for one year and then I bounced to go to the community college because I could get...

all of those credits for like $12 a unit. And so I'm so sorry. If you are on the fence about college or whatever, JVs, community college, your best friend. I went to two different ones, like one during the summers. And yeah, I got a bunch of credits. And guess what? No one in my life has ever asked me, hey, did you go to a...

junior college for some of this? Nope. Nope. Never happens. And it was a lot less expensive and I don't have student loans now. I paid them off years ago. Okay. On that note, Colby Evans asked, how did you do in school? You're incredibly bright and quick-witted and I love your use of language. Stop.

Well, I think that too, but that is what Colby Evans and other people who like that. That's nice. Interested to hear if some of that developed later in life. If I did okay in school? Yeah, during school or the brightness, your quick wit, your love, your use of language that we love. I did always love language. My family's a bit of punsters. That's true. And I did...

Pretty well in school because I was always pretty interested in things. I still remember field trips to tide pools and drawing pictures of animals and stuff. And in terms of English and writing, a lot of people in my family are writers. So if you write a text on the family thread and you have a typo, it's very shameful because there's a lot of editors in my family as well.

Not that they shame you, but it's personally you feel ashamed. Right, right, right. I get it. High standards. Yeah. But what about grades and stuff like school? How were you in school? I did pretty well. I did all right. I gave the valedictory speech in my high school, but I did not have the highest GPA. I think they were just like, does anyone want to do a speech? And I was like, I've got some things to get off my chest. So I talk about sexism. It's true. Anyway, moving on. Should we move on from my youth? No. No.

I don't know. We've got way more. We've got memories. We've got goth days. This is an AMA episode. I think you should just, but there's so many. I think just scroll up and find a random one. Come on. It's Alleyology. It's fun. I'm having fun. Do people care? I care. I want to start a podcast where I interview my wife. I didn't know you did the valedictory. Yes.

Yeah, I did. That's really interesting to me. It was all about institutional sexism. I want to know this. I want to know this too. Stephanie Traub-Furman, did you ever get sent to the principal's office? No. In fact, I only cut class one time and I asked my mom, can you just write me a fucking note for this? I want to go to the museum and maybe the mall in San Francisco and eat some clam chowder out of a bread bowl. And she was like, how are you doing on your homework? And I'm like, I'm pretty much caught up. And she was like, all right. But I didn't cut class a lot because I was just like, I'm going to have to

catch up later. So I just went. But then at the same time, I was like 16 and wearing like fishnet shirts going to goth clubs. So I don't know. So I was, I was like a good- There's a whole section of questions list called the goth days. Oh boy. I was a good kid mostly because I felt like if I tried to cut corners, it'd just be like shooting myself in the dick. You know what I mean? I was just like, I'm here to, I'm here to learn.

I'm just going to get through it. But I, so my sister, my older sister had like a rebellious streak and I sometimes saw how that would turn around and bite her in her own ass. So I was like, well, I'm just going to take classes I like. So I think I felt like the rebellion really was like a- But you weren't like 100% straight A's kid. No, no. I got B's here and there. Okay. Here and there. Yeah. But I was, but-

I also had, I guess I had friends whose parents were harder on them for grades. And so I just ask them like, hey, how does this theorem work? And because their parents were so hard on them for grades, they'd usually be able to explain it to me. Smarter, not harder. Yeah. Okay. What's your funniest childhood memory, asks Charlene. Once my family and I were watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and there's a scene where Paul Reubens, rest in peace,

hops on top of the bar and dances to the song Tequila. And my family was concerned with how hard I was laughing. For some reason, it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life. And it was like, oh, Allie thinks that's funny. And then it got to be like, is she okay? Yeah. Like, I lost my mind. I've seen that. I've seen you lose your mind over things that make no sense to me, but I love it. Do you remember the time when I threw socks at you? Yeah, you just couldn't get enough. We were folding laundry.

He threw a sock at me, hit me in the face. You're losing your mind. It was so funny because it didn't hurt you. And then you were like, do it to me, do it to me. I threw a sock. I was like, I don't know if I want to. He hit you in the face, laughing so hard. This was like two months ago. I know. It's like if you're folding socks and they're in a ball and you throw them at someone, it's like if you were to throw an orange at someone or a softball, that would be really damaging. But if it's just socks and it bops them in the face and they're okay with it, you're not surprising them.

I remember you saying you're like the toddler that can't understand ripping paper. Yeah, or like I'm just jingling my keys and losing your mind. It was so cute. Because it should have been dangerous, but it wasn't. I totally get it. Simple things. All right. Let's try... I hope people are enjoying this episode. I don't know. I hope so too. Hey, this is a nice...

Holiday chat? Yeah, it's just a chat. Taking it down a notch. We turned off the lights. Yeah. We're just hanging. I think this is an interesting one, too. I'm sure we'll get off your childhood soon, but I just, whatever. I'm finding this interesting. Kevin Parachan asks, what's one birthday present you wanted as a kid, but your parents refused to get you? Emancipation.

You never asked for that. I didn't. A lawyer, a family lawyer. Oh, I know. This is so sad. Is it? Yeah. I want to know. Okay. So I got my hand stuck in an escalator when I was like four, right? Yeah.

I was trying to figure out what happens to the rubber black band on the top of an escalator, where it goes. And I found out it takes you to hell and back. Because my hand got stuck in there. This is before they had emergency stop buttons. And so there were a handful of us kids on planet Earth who became accidentally ingested by an escalator. I was one of them.

So we sued. I know you've heard this story because the department store didn't know how to turn it off. So we sued. I had to go to a burn center every day for months. I had third degree friction burns on my hands. I could see my tendons when I pulled it out of the mess. And yeah, I had to undergo like a lot of like burn therapy for it. I almost had to be held back a grade and had to learn how to write again with my hand. And yeah,

So we sued and they settled and we got $1,200. Incredible. Which covered part of the emergency room bill. Yeah, wow. My family's not that litigious. We were just like, that's fine. That's okay. That'll work. I mean, it's better to be that way. If everyone was that way, the world would probably be a better place. Yeah. But you could have got paid. I guess we just wanted to recoup our costs on the...

On the vet bill for me. But they told me that I'd probably grow out of the scars by the time I was eight. So I was like, okay, tight. Got it. Four now. I can handle that. Three and a half years. And on my eighth birthday, I woke up to look at my hand. And I was like, God damn it. I still had, like, my hand is still scarred. Yeah, of course. And I'm almost 22 now. And yeah. So eight years old. That was my most disappointing birthday present. That's unfair, though. They couldn't give you...

not scars. They could have not given me lies earlier. Well, I don't, there was nothing that I guess I really like wanted. Like for a while, my birthday presents that I would mandate had to be under $5 because I didn't want anyone spending money on me. And all I wanted was a pair of Halloween socks and, or, uh,

photo from a photo booth of my loved ones you still don't really ever vocally at least crave stuff yeah i'm not a big stuff person because we moved a lot as kids so like the more things you have the more you have to put in boxes and unpack later yeah so i don't know ghoul next door asks any favorite memories from your time as a goth teen i was a goth teen um

And into my 20s. And I am still goth at heart. I feel like I'm most comfortable when I'm wearing all black, unless it's a mustard sweater. But my favorite memories, I had a boyfriend named Braun who had a faux hawk, kind of a mohawk. He had a mohawk. And we'd drive around in his Caprice Classic, which was a very giant car. It had bad shocks. And there'd be a lot of us crammed into it.

I like the smell of other people smoking cloves. I didn't like smoking them. It's too harsh, but I like them from a distance, even though no one should do that because I think they give you instant bleeding lungs. But I think driving around in the Caprice Classic, listening to Fugazi and stuff. Someone actually asked right after that, Yngwie, which band was your favorite when you were gone? I mean, The Cure is just a very good staple. Sure. But I mean...

I remember I would listen to like Throbbing Gristle to annoy my first college roommate. I don't know, Bauhaus, probably Bauhaus. Okay. Skinny Puppy, Sisters of Mercy. Yeah, great stuff. Yeah. Got some Grammy questions here. Okay. Colleen Selwood asks, does Grammy see Jarrett as the spare human or as a second parent?

I think she loves you more. You do? I think so. Because there are times when you get up before me and you take her out. No. And I think she's like... I think I'm kind of like the...

Not a stepmom, but yeah. She looks to us for different things. That's true. She loves us both. She's snugglier with you. Should we ask science questions? Is anyone tuning in? It's an AMA. I know. I just. It's an ask you anything. Okay. I know. Once in a while, it's fun to, you know. Yeah. Try to imagine something you like listening to. Maybe you'd like to hear. That's nice. The host sometimes, because you don't really, you know. That's true. Okay. You're always asking other people questions.

Can you imagine if we weren't recording? Okay, we're recording. That's nice. We are, right? If not, this is our warm-up. Oh, actually, this is Kat Baclar's brought up updates on the stray dog situation. Oh, I'm so glad someone asked. Because that whole thing, I think you should answer. We should talk about this. I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast, but I posted about this on Instagram about how I was...

I've been trying to take yoga classes. I don't know if anyone's heard of them, but it's a lot of stretching and breathing. And I've been trying to take it for stress relief. And I was on my way to a weekly yoga class and, uh, a stray dog came barreling down the sidewalk. Um,

Some kind of maybe like a German Shepherd mix and in the middle of a crowded street running into an intersection. And I was like, somebody get that dog. And so I got the dog. It was friendly. Anyway, I was trying to find his owner, not chipped, not fixed. Anyway.

We had it at the house for a night or two. It was such a sweet beast, just like having a werewolf in the garage and looked everywhere, went to a bunch of different rescues. Everyone's like, we're full up here. We cannot take this dog. One woman member at the LA animal services was like,

told us... It was a heavy day. Yeah. She was like, if you can't handle the weight of owning the dog, don't pick it up off the street. People come in here with kittens they find in a bush, and I say, go put them back in the bush. I was like... They're overwhelmed. They're so overwhelmed. I was like, if I can't handle it, you work at the animal services. Sounds like you guys can't handle it. They can't handle it. That's the point, I think. Anyway... Really, people got to take care of their dogs and not let them breed and...

Be turning dogs out on the street like this is terrible. Get them fixed. Spay and neuter. Bob Barker. Bob Barker was right about that. So... And adopt, don't shop, for God's sakes. Adopt, don't shop. Anyway, TLDR...

We found its owner. We had to turn it over to the pound because there's like a stray hold. You can't just give it to a rescue unless it's been in the pound for a couple days. Anyway, luckily, the owners came forward. And I don't know, hopefully they got it fixed. Yeah, it was tough. I was crying about that dog. Yeah, you called him Charlie. I was like,

I shouldn't have done that. I know. That's the first step to fall in love. Because he looked like the dog from All Dogs Go to Heaven. Yeah. You're screwed. Jarrett cried. Jarrett sat on a bench when we had to turn him over and cried. We didn't turn Jarrett over. We turned the dog over. Maybe you should have. And I was like, I get it. But unfortunately, through paperwork, a rescue can't even take him.

It all worked out for the best or whatever it could have been. We found some people that would be happy to have adopted him if an owner didn't come forward. But legally, we had to let an owner come forward. And luckily, they did. A beautiful creature. Okay. This is kind of related, I think, to the question before. People have been interested in this. Somebody, Felicia Stelsel, asked, do fans frequently recognize you in public? And how do you feel about having fans coming to say hi? Yeah.

I don't think it happens frequently. It happens enough to where it's really sweet. It just happened on the airplane. That's true. Actually, that was funny because- That was cute. She didn't recognize you until like at the end of the flight. We were talking about something. Yeah. We were masked up because hello COVID season, holiday travel. Yeah, sure. And I had a little bit of a sniffles. I was COVID negative. COVID negative, but still- But I still don't like freak people out. Yeah. Yeah.

But I don't know what precipitated it, but somehow they were like, what do you do? Should I make a podcast about that? And they go, you're Alison Ward? It was really sweet. It was so sweet. We took pictures with her family. So yeah, it does happen. It happens every couple of weeks maybe. Yeah, so how do you feel about it? What do you think about it? I think it's really sweet. I feel like it's like,

If you happen to look over and you'd see someone wearing the same shirt as you, you'd be like, oh, we're wearing the same shirt. Like immediately you're like, hey, look at us. We have something in common. They must like whoever I interview. I like whoever I interview. So I think it's very sweet. Sometimes I get a little bashful about it because either I feel like I'm a mess or compliments sometimes are difficult to take.

But I always like to take a picture with someone if they've said hello. Or I always like to offer because sometimes if you run into someone that you're like, oh my gosh, my girlfriend loves you or whatever. You're like, let's take a picture for her. Let's make a video for her really quick. Because then if I ran into, let's say Bob Barker. Let's say we're a Bob Barker fan. I ran into him and he was like, my mom loves you.

If you were like, you want to take a picture of your mom, I'd be like, that's tight. You know? Yeah, that happened at the vet's office a couple weeks ago. Yeah, I think it's... I guess it kind of happens. It's sweet. It's so sweet. I think it's nice when I, you know, witness it and stuff. And the once in a blue moon, it's happened to me.

Because it's like you work in your house or in an office, like so far away with the internet. It's not like a live show all the time. And it's really nice to see it in the real world. It's so easy to get caught up in. You just record these things. You work in your office. You put it online all kind of alone.

But isn't it nice when it comes into the real world and it goes, hi, oh my gosh. Yeah, it's easy to forget that people actually listen. Yeah, real people. I think I just make it and I go, huh, that's nice. And then I forget that other people listen to it. By the way, if anyone's ever seen the YouTube series, My Music, you may recognize Derek Sleeper as- Don't say that. That's a weird one. That's so long ago. But I feel like people had like a history of that Amanda Chantal Bacon videos. So many things.

So many little viral things. All right, I'm going to move on to a question. Ashley Dent. So this one had to do, this was inspired by actually a bit from 100 Humans. Oh, no. Getting people to talk about how they wipe their bums. Wipe their bums? To use the...

First of all, my question is, how do you dry off after a shower? Do you bring the towel in the shower or step out soaking wet? Do you dab yourself or scrub yourself? Do you follow the same pattern each time or is it always chaos? From the odd and intrigued, I thank you. I think this is a great question. This is stemming from a Netflix show I did called 100 Humans, where as researchers in lab coats, A.

air quotes are on that part. Right. We did ask people their toilet behaviors and they volunteered a lot of information. I did not expect them to. In terms of a shower, Judd, I think you know this. What I do is I get a big, like a salad bowl and I fill it with volcanic ash and then I just roll around in it. Right. It's this chinchilla method is what they call it. Yep. And it just keeps you from drying out. It,

Do I smell? It also sloughs off all the dead skin. Yeah. It's great. It's essentially powdered pumice stones. Yeah. And I shake it out of my hair. It's like a dry shampoo, but just volcanic ash. So yeah, look it up. It's the chinchilla method. You don't want to reveal the secrets. Is it too intimate to talk about how you dry yourself?

I don't think it's of interest. I think you're crazy that you don't think it's of interest. Because these are the secret private things everybody does. You don't think about that? Okay, I'll tell you one thing. And then think of the new alone? I'll tell you one thing. I'll tell you one thing. I stay in the shower to drip. I try. Because my grandpa yelled at me one time. That was like...

Start drying off in the shower. You're getting water all over when I went to stay with my grandparents. And I was like, that's a good point. That's correct. Also, the thing that makes you cold after you step out of the shower is all that water evaporating. And so if you stay within the humid confines, I feel like maybe less water evaporates a little bit less quickly and you don't get cold as quickly. This is why this is interesting to me. Because everything, there's a technique. There's a technique. There's a technique to everything. If you were to ask me, if you were to say, here's...

$10. Will you put a shirt on without drying your back? I'd say you take that $10 to get the fuck out of here. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Because putting on clothes while your skin is still wet is disgusting. It's fine for other people. I can't do it. No way. There's a hierarchy as well. I can do it more with my pants than I can with a shirt for sure. And I got to put socks on like an hour after my shower to make sure that there's nothing going on between those tootsies. Absolutely. No moisture. All right.

Hey, actually, I've never asked you this either. RJ Doidge asked, what first made you decide on red hair? It's stunning, but curious on the origin story. Oh, shucks. Yeah. Do you not know this? I don't think I do. Maybe like 15, 20 years ago or something, I had black hair, blue black hair for the longest time. I dyed my hair black. It's naturally like dark brown. And I went to get it stripped.

of color and they stripped it and it turned orange. And they were like, don't worry, we'll get it back to brown. And I was like, I kind of like this. And they were like, we could just stay at this stage. And I was like, let's just keep the orange for a while. And I had big blotches in the back, but I didn't care. I did not sue them for $1,200. Perhaps I should have, but I was like, it's fine. And then when I would go in

And subsequently to go to salons, I would show them a picture of like a baby orangutan. Because orangutan. Yeah, because they have the best color hair. But I just do it pretty much in a box by myself. I've gotten it dyed professionally. That was just an accident? You were like, oh, red seems like the right one. I kind of was like, this is a good move for me now. Because black hair was feeling a little too harsh. I'd done it for too long. But brown hair felt like...

Too tied to my youth. And so red hair is also helpful because then when you're looking to point someone out, you go, it's the redhead over there. But when people give me like the look like, hey, redhead, I feel like an imposter because I am an imposter. Well, you know, I stand on that. I think self-selecting redheads are perhaps the redheadiest of all. That's very nice of you.

Well, we didn't have to endure like any childhood trauma. And so I feel like a little bit of a, cause like no one ever. My heads might get upset about that, but I feel like they'll understand what I mean. I guess being a elective ginger is one of those like, it's like guys that wear flashy suits kind of. Am I peacocking? I don't think so. I think you just found something that feels true to you. It feels true to me.

Do you want to give, um, Saira man's as to any, uh, dyed hair maintenance tips. Do you have any of those? No, but I was going to say, I neglected to say what color I use, which is, I think, uh, Clairol six RR with a 20 developer for anyone that needs that, the tech specs on that. All right. Yep. Um, couple of people, Jen squirrel Alvarez, um,

Anna Thompson, both were asking about your yellow sweater. Oh, that thing. I love it. Do you only have one? Do you have multiples? No, the yellow sweater, if for anyone that doesn't know this, I accidentally am pictured in this yellow sweater all the time, I think because I wear it all the time. And it's just the right amount of stretchy. It's thick, but it's not suffocating. It's a nice mustard color. It's got a stain I got to get rid of somehow, but I wear it...

often, and I almost packed it on this trip to see your family. I just wear it too often. And there's simply one and I have looked on Poshmark, which is a resale site where you can buy used clothes. And I have found duplicates in case something happens if I'm trapped in a fire, if someone throws accidentally a beaker of hydrochloric acid on me.

I'm ready. Wonderful. I'm ready. What about some, what about some podcasts? Someone said, this is, is it weird? Yes. Yes. Jen, they said, but I don't think so. Jen, that you remind me of a very delicate, beautiful mantis. That's sweet. I think that's very interesting. Cause I, I, I get that. You know what, you know what I feel like a mantis has is a nice jawline. You do. So I'll take, so I'll take that as a compliment. I also have in bonkers, uh, thorny forearms, uh,

I have so many claws on my forearms. That's why I wear so many long sleeves. And you constantly try to murder me. Yeah. I try to eat your face. Alley Cat, what hobby or hobbies are you finding yourself engaged in when you're not working on the podcast? Cross-stitch, bitch. I'm doing cross-stitch these days and I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Well, I guess in the heels of that is Naomi asked, any current hyper fixations? Example, podcast, show, subjects. It kind of is one for you a little bit. Cross-stitch, bitch. Yeah.

Same, cross-stitch. Sometimes I'll just be doing something else thinking, can't wait to make some Xs on some fabric. I'm not good at it. I've only completed one very small one, but that doesn't mean I'm not working for lots of hours on my second one. Anyway. All right. A lot of people want to know the answer to this question. Chanel Wilson, my eight-year-old daughter, has been a fan since Brainchild, and now an Avid Smologies listener, would like to know,

What your favorite cryptid is. My favorite cryptid? Oh, I mean, I'm going to have to say the frogman, which I mentioned this in an episode. Gosh, I can't remember what episode, but it was somewhat recent. There's this thing called the frogman. People around town started seeing this frogman walking around. Terrifying. Large. It turned out to be a tailless iguana. Yeah.

That had gotten out and was wild in, and I think maybe police shot it, which is not the way you want any story to turn out. But yeah, I think that that might be, I think it was called Frogman. If I'm incorrect, do your own aside about it. And I'm really sorry. Okay.

That wasn't the greatest answer. No, that's fine. That's fine. Frog, but that's like, I've never heard of frog man. I just love the idea that there's this iguana with no tail. Yeah. Just trying to get out there looking for a snack, looking for one worm to hold him over. But none of the other ones capture your, imagine it, no Bigfoot, no Wendigo. I just like that one because it's,

There was an explanation. Yeah. And I think I identify with and I'm emotionally bonded to that iguana because that iguana caused such a stir without knowing. Number one, that iguana was on its own journey. That iguana had some kind of Joseph Campbell, stranger in a strange land. I don't know where he was going. I don't know if he was eating watermelon rinds out of compost bins. I don't know what...

He was up to, I think it was he. And I like that he caused a stir. I don't like his tragic demise, but I love a cryptid with an explanation, I guess. And I love a frog man. How can you not? But I also would say a close second. I love when they, I love a siren maybe.

Like a sea siren that calls to you from the water. I think that's a great one. We both know that underneath the sea, there's all kinds of shit we don't know about. Oh yeah. So the idea that one of them is a sea... Lost treasure for one, lots of lost treasure. So much treasure. Microbes, according to Discovery, the Megalodon, which is an extinct shark, they did a whole documentary that hoodwinked people into thinking that the Megalodon shark was still alive.

And they interviewed all these shark scientists who spoke about it on camera thinking it was going to be like a real documentary. Yeah. We got no idea what's down there. I know. But not a megalodon. I'm pretty sure that's well extinct. Spencer James Parked. Spencer James Parks. Excuse me. Holidays. Which are great and which need to go. Oh my gosh. Well, I have a show that we've been wanting to launch about holidays. Yeah.

Called Holidays Observed. We might, it's been such a busy year. Maybe one year. Which holidays need to go? Yeah, which do you think are great? Which need to go? Let's just even get simple. Just pick two great ones and one, maybe two, that could go.

Actually, Nita goes tough, but I'm not going to answer for you. I'm going to say I like Valentine's Day, not from a romantic sense, but I think Valentine's Day is a really good time to send everyone you love in your life a card saying, hey, I really appreciate you. You're wonderful. Send it to your aunt. If they mean a lot to you, send one to your friends. Because I think that a lot of times you get holiday cards in the mail and it's

God bless you all, but it's just a picture of you and your kids. No note. And you're like, thanks for this picture of you and your kids. I like what they look like. I'm glad to have it. But I think...

In the hustle and bustle culture of the holidays, people feel very pressured to send something out. Wait a minute. Wait till it's the dreary Februaries. People say, am I even going to get a Valentine this year? Shkabamsk. They open their mailbox. Real two-dimensional, three-dimensional card. Yeah. It says, hey, remember that time that you bailed me out of prison? You're a real one. I like that. You know? What would you say? Gotta go. Gotta go? Yeah.

I mean, Columbus Day. Oh, good answer. Good answer. Good answer. Obviously, yes. Good answer. Yeah. And I'm Italian, y'all. And both my sister and my mom have been in a Columbus Day parade. I just think I'm happy to see it turn over to Indigenous Peoples Day. And I'm also like, one day? Really? Oh, you know what? International Women's Day can absolutely take a hike. Oh, yeah? One day? Yeah.

Really? One day? Half of the earth? Yeah. Women responsible for shoving human... I think it's nice that they just recognize, you know. No, it is nice. All those Instagram posts that are like, hey. Hey, good job. Good job, kid. It does feel really good. Do you think that feels good to you? They're like, sorry for the sexism, but hey, you're all right. Hey, women, we see you.

And if you don't do some labor, tagging every single woman in your life that you really like, you're not a good woman. And also, hey, I like the ones from men that are like, hey, I've got daughters. So obviously, every woman out there is someone's daughter. Hey, I used to have a lot of ideas about girls, women, whatever you want to call them. Now I've got this child here, this fuzzy, stinky little female, 10 years old.

I get it. It's our dog. I get it now. Yeah, I get it. There are people too. Turns out, once you've got one, you realize they're human beings. That's so crazy. And I think International Women's Day has a lot to do with that. I have just really quick, I would actually, would not, those are good. You've pegged really good picks. Thanks. Most holidays I would not get rid of. Yeah. But I have controversials I would get rid of. New Year's. Don't need it. Don't care. Don't care. Always a letdown. What?

And St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day is really... That's a country because it's such a fun notion. No, but St. Patrick's Day is really just a day for imbibing. Yeah, we can get hammered anytime. You can pretend to be Irish. Look at me with my red hair. Doing it every day. I'm sorry, Ireland.

But yeah. It's not, I like Irish. The New Year's thing is surprising. I like Irish. I just don't think you need to be St. Patrick's Day. It's, you know why? I just associate it with like really cheap, like fold up, you know, graphics that they put in bars that like Guinness sends out. It just feels like it's lost to whatever it might've been. Cool. When I think of St. Patrick's Day, my immediate vision is of a very, very thin plastic green hat.

Yeah. You know what I mean? That's going to be in the gutter two hours later. Yeah, I'm not even going to get it. Just getting hung over. Ugh. Just... Anyway. All right. This is a first time question I ask here. Penny Loader. Okay. What's your favorite flower and why? And also, is Victorian flower language on the list? Please, thanks, peace, and love. I don't know what that means. I guess it is now because I didn't know that Victorian flower language existed before this moment in time.

Me neither. Oh, to have an aside here. I hope that this makes people appreciate when I do put it asides. Because then here I'd be like, side note. Okay, so I looked into this. But I didn't, you guys. I didn't do it. It's fine. It's chill vibes. It's the holidays. Favorite flower? You know what else? We're in the middle zone between the big holidays and New Year's. We're just like, what is this? We're in the liminal space between...

Like other people's champagne headaches. A nowhere zone. We're all just... Yep. All right, continue. Favorite flower. I think a tuberose or a tiger lily because they smell great. Beautiful. That was Penny Loader. I don't know if I said their names. I just need to make sure I say it. I feel like people must have like, how do you make a podcast questions? Useful information. Not to say that these aren't fun and wonderful. I feel like I need to... As a person who dispenses information...

I feel like I need to provide more useful information. This is useful information. The point of it is to learn things about you. I know. Okay. A functional, functional information. Maybe it's, maybe it's, maybe I'm saying, I have this tone of like, what are you talking about? Maybe it's because I am literally in love with you. Well, you're interesting. Well, I know, but that's the thing is I think a lot of people tune in to ologies just for turtle facts. Yeah. Yeah.

But I think they do it for Turtle Facts through the lens of Allie Ward. Well, thank you. You know, I can go to Google otherwise, you know. Nobody go to Google. Claire Netto asks, what have your favorite or most memorable interactions with insects been over the years? Oh, definitely my favorite insect is

Now we're talking about good facts. Okay, so my favorite insect is the Codonus mutabilis, I think is the species and genus. It's a fig eater beetle. It's native to Los Angeles. It looks like a green Japanese beetle, but it's not. It's got these two golden stripes and a beautiful emerald tail.

metallic tone to it. It's big. It's like the size of bigger than your thumb and it buzzes around very clumsily. Makes these really loud noises. People are terrified of it because they think it's a gigantic bee. It's just a big bumbling beetle that eats figs and fruit and it'll find like an old orange and be like, my day's been

and the grubs were like the size of your pinky and they crawl on their back backwards like they would do in the worm but backwards and they have little fuzzy bellies like a puppy and uh I love them and once we were in the garden of the natural history museum we were getting our engagement photos done oh my god fig eater beetles mean a lot to me figs come out in July it's a very important month to me July I have a lot of nostalgia we met in July we got married in July July just in general is very lovely and uh

So we were getting our engagement photos done and this big fig eater beetle just buzzed and landed right on my finger. And when I see a fig eater beetle, it's very exciting. My friend Suzanne and Nina, they gave me two fig eater beetles that had died whilst doing the nasty and they are frozen in my freezer. One day perhaps we'll taxidermy them.

That moment you're talking about in the garden? Yeah. Not only do I remember it very clearly, there's a beautiful photograph of it. There is. Thanks to Robin Von Swing. There is. Robin Von Swing was our photographer. It's one of the best photos I've ever seen of you. I was so happy. It's amazing because your face is the most childlike...

It's so essentially you. That's a good one. And my company is named after a structure in the gardens of the NHM. And I have to do an offshoot company for just podcasting because I do other stuff. And I think I'm going to call it Fig Eater Media. Because I eat figs. Those beetles eat figs, but...

In fact, one of my next embroidery projects, it's a fake Eater beetle. Perfect. It's perfect. It's exciting. Also, Mirabelle.

Oh, well, Mirabelle is my other favorite. Not to Praying Mantis that Jarrett gave me as a gift. And Mirabelle lived, I think, like six months. She could have lived longer, but I fed her too many maggots. She loved eating fly eggs. And then I gave her a fly egg, and then I gave her a worm, and I think she overate and died. But Mirabelle, I had an open casket funeral for her, if you'd like to see that.

Some pictures you can look on Instagram at hashtag RIP Raying Mantis. And we had an open casket. It was a very goth funeral. We listened to Bauhaus. Everyone came in black. Beautiful. I was not 12. I was into my 30s. And that was a beautiful gift, Jared. You're so welcome. What memories? What memories? Good mems.

We're going to take a quick break, but first we're going to donate to a charity of the all just choosing. And I guess that's me. So I am having a go to dogs without borders, which is the, uh,

rescue organization that we got our dog, Gremmy, from. If you're like, what does Gremmy look like? You can check out on Instagram, insta underscore Gremmy, G-R-E-M-M-I-E. She's a tiny little werewolf floof. We love her so much, but Dogs Without Borders is where we adopted her from. And right now, since there are so many animals in shelters, we're going to be

Animal rescue organizations need all the help they can get. A lot of people got animals during the quarantine in 2020, and now they have decided that they don't want to be animal owners. So I get it. Things happen in people's lives. Anyway, talk to that Borders. We will link them in the show notes. And that donation was made possible by sponsors of the show.

When U.S. Bank says they're in it with you, they mean it. Not just for the good stuff, the grand openings and celebrations, although those are pretty great, but for all the hard work it took to get there. The fine-tuning of goals, the managing of cash and workflows, and decision-making. They're in to help you through all of it.

because together they're proving day in and day out that there is nothing as powerful as the power of us. Visit usbank.com to get started today. Equal housing lender, member FDIC, copyright 2024, US Bank. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And as I record this, my dog, Gremmy, is snoring. Gremmy.

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Sierra asks, do you have a new favorite spot at the LA Natural History Museum? Oh, well, the willow hut that they had, they did take it down recently and they gave me a branch from it. They knew that I loved it. And they're like, Allie, we have to take the willow hut down for structural reasons. And I was like, can you save me a branch? And that branch is on my wall in my office.

My new favorite spot that's there, I was just there recently, and I'm going to tell you it's the crab stacks, maybe. I saw some absolutely bonkers crabs down in the cavernous storage areas in the basement. And that episode of Crab Facts is coming out soon. But it's Stunnen. I saw some very, very large arthropods down there. So I will say that that's my new favorite spot.

But anywhere in the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County is lovely. Go in the rotunda, stand under the rotunda. I think that they have so many bonkers artifacts. I think Walt Disney's desk is there. So many beautiful things. A lot of questions about books from people. Who reads, Chris? Laura Kinney. Well, actually, let's do that one. A lot of people are asking about...

Okay. I'll just name some names. Laura Kinney, Lindsay Mayer, J.D. Murray, Jordan Irons, Kat Baclar, Jennifer Dunn. They'll ask a lot of questions about favorite books. I'm going to boil them down. Laura Kinney asked, what is a book that you've read over and over or a book with a special place in your heart? Do you have a book you've read over and over?

My Side of the Mountain is one of my faves. It's something I read when I was a kid. And my friend, Dr. Tegan Wall, who I've mentioned many times on the podcast, she was also in that WGA episode, the strike episode that I put out in May. She got me a signed copy. This is a book about a kid who, in the 60s, it's fiction, just tells his parents, like, hey, I'm going to go live in the woods. I'm going to fuck off to the woods. And they're like, all right.

have a good time. No one calls CPS. No one sends out a search party. He just goes and lives in the woods and then he does a bunch of algae experiments. And I loved this book as a kid. And I don't know what would happen these days if you let your child do that, but it is the idea of living in a hollowed out tree where you've made your own Adobe fireplace. Amazing. He raises a falcon. Anyway,

But Tegan got a signed copy. The author is now deceased, so that is very difficult. And then she made a book jacket cover where she put blurbs on the back from our friends about me for my birthday. And it was the night I cried when she gave it to me. But that book is one that I always look back upon with fondness. But the book that I've read the most is an insect guide that I got when I was 12. And the number of times I've opened that book, I can't even in the thousands and thousands. Yeah.

I would just sit and read about like mayflies. Be like, ooh, what is this too? But yeah, if that's helpful. Do you know which one it was? Do you remember it? Maybe you should post it or something. It may have been an Audubon guide, which Audubon, maybe not the greatest guy in the world, but I think it was that.

And it was an insect guide. Yeah, it's a little black paperback. Very goth also. Just reading about spiders. Well, that's so funny. One person in Capital Cars says, what's the gothest science book media you've consumed? And someone also asked, I was going to ask, Jennifer Downey and Emma's Rosie, best book you've read this year? I read Little Fires Everywhere and enjoyed that. Celeste Ng is a great writer. Really enjoyed that. And then read her follow-up, The End.

Oh my gosh, I'm blanking on everything I never told you. So I've been really enjoying her work a lot this year. And also Hank Green's book, A Truly Remarkable Thing, and the follow-up book, read both of those recently. And I keep thinking about them in terms of whether or not there are aliens and timelines. Yeah.

Both great books. There's a bunch of questions about movies and TV stuff. I'm going to skip to this autumn list. And what movie traumatized you as a child? Oh, we watched the shining a lot as a child. What? We watched everything. We want like, we, we, I think cable was new and you could just turn on whatever. And my parents would be, I don't know, outside a lot. Both my parents worked and we watched so many wholly inappropriate things and

No offense to my parents. They just weren't very helicopter-y. And I remember The Shining, and there's a distinct part where you see a deceased naked woman. And that one really got me. What can I say? I was afraid to shower without someone walking me into the bathroom for months. I was like, can you just peel back the curtain and just tell me that there's not a deceased elderly woman in the bathtub? My sisters had to be like,

There's one in there. A lot. That scared me and I didn't like it. I know. Okay, okay, okay. Boo. Nolan Childerhouse, what's your go-to type of music if you're looking for an energy boost? Um...

straight death metal just to scream you do not listen to that no I don't oh my gosh I would be so surprised if I didn't know you were listening although my brother is in a band called Exodus yes of course of course he's a thrash metal guitarist I'm named Lee Altus he's my brother we'll be seeing him tomorrow not in concert but just in person not in concert true true true IRL we'll get a video with him um

My favorite music to listen to. Sometimes I like listening to instrumental music from soundtracks because instead of thinking that I'm like a beleaguered podcast researcher and host, I think I'm just a charming woman on a journey. Maybe I'm in a foreign cafe and I'm having a biscotti and I'm just, this soundtrack makes me think I'm just on a writing journey here with my laptop and I feel instantly happy.

more adventurous. So sometimes I'll do that. Philip Sarti, I think is a composer that I'll listen to sometimes. He did the soundtrack for a movie called Lord of the Flies that I really liked the soundtrack a million years ago. So sometimes I'll do that. Lo-fi beats.

Of course. Yes. I really like Alison Pontier, who is a singer-songwriter from Texas who lives in New York. A redhead, but I think she's a natural redhead. She's lovely. Alison Pontier, look her up. She sang on the track I Lied by Lord Huron, and she has like an angelic voice. She's amazing. I wasn't laughing at Alison Pontier. I was laughing at a question that I read. Walk Fearlessly wrote, what song is stuck in your head right now? Oh, no. Oh, no.

I mean, we could get loud about it. Let's get loud. Let's get loud. Jared and I, at least four times a day, we'll be like, hey, what do you want to, later on, do you want to get loud? Let's get loud. Let's get loud.

Is that a Pitbull song? No, it's Jennifer Lopez. Is it? Yes. I didn't even know. I had to Google it because I couldn't remember. It comes up so often. So often. And the singing's bad when it happens. Excuse you. It's bad. Excuse you. I go out in a way that I'm not willing to go out here because it's too intimate. But let's get loud. Okay.

beautiful yeah uh kate gannett what would your baseball slash etc wrestling perhaps walkout song be like i'm leaving walking out or i'm coming out you're coming out to it oh i think it would be that one where they go no really that's so obvious well that's what i'm saying just because it would at least be explain it would be explanatory people would know what's going on

They'd be like, oh, she must be coming out. What's happening right now? Oh, wait, oh. Oh, she's emerging. But you were going to say that the one you were singing was, I'm coming out so we better get this party started. Yeah, I just meant that from an explanatory, like this is what I happen to be doing at the moment. Not that one.

Either one of those would work. Okay, fine. Just for letting people know what I'm up to. Okay. Or Here I Am, Baby, Come and Take Me, Here I Am, Baby. I think that's a UB40. I don't know the answer to this question. A UB40 song? I don't know who sings it. Didn't UB40 sing Red Red Wine? I don't know. Jennifer Lopez sang all of them. I really don't know. I don't have a good answer for this, and I'm sorry. Maybe it would be a really, really... These were crazy answers. A UB40 song. I really don't...

Tremendous. These are bad. Do you remember when I was like, the song- Goth Alley says a UB40 song is what I walk out to. I'm trying to think of the worst things that just explain what I'm doing. But do you remember when I wanted to walk down the aisle to that Phil Collins song?

Which one? Oh, yeah. Can you feel it coming in the air tonight? Yeah. The song about killing his wife? Well, then I didn't know that it was about killing his wife. And I was like, wouldn't it be great if then like the beat drops and then we like walk out and you're like, you know, that's something about someone killing the spouse. And I didn't know that. So we obviously, we went with that and it was amazing. We did. It was really good. I was like, this will probably not be a weird like. Weird, terrible marriage. No, we did not walk down the aisle. No, we walked out to Sade. That's true. I love Sade.

Okay. Holly Giorgio Dundon, what's the weirdest food combination you secretly or not so secretly enjoy? Canned sardines. I mean, not sardines, canned oysters, canned smoked oysters. Canned smoked oysters. If you've ever been on a Patreon live stream-

I think I've eaten canned smoked oysters. They look exactly like an animal turd and they taste like cigarette smoke and they're covered in like linseed oil or something or turpentine and I love them and I'll eat them with cream cheese sometimes. Sometimes I'll wrap them in a seaweed wrap

piece of seaweed and I'll pretend like it's sushi, like apocalypse sushi. Like I found some old seaweed and then also some tinned fish. And now do you remember the days when we could take fish out of the oceans? Cause the oceans weren't. She enjoys umami. That's the most umami sounding. Oh, you're so crazy. It's delish. I love it.

All right, we got to tell people how to podcasting since I know people are tuning in for the... How to what? I'm sure people had like, how do you make a science podcast? I don't know. We're just having some fun. I know. We're at an hour here. Are you serious? Yes. We got 11 hours to go. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. We do have 11 hours to go. Then maybe we should... Hold on. Then we'll just continue. We'll just...

I'll scroll down. I'm having too much fun. I'm having too much fun with all these basic questions. You know, okay, do you know the feeling when someone brings out a birthday cake and you're like, oh, this is so nice. And then like halfway into the song, you're like too much looking at me, too much looking at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. I understand. You're right. It's not that I don't like people asking me these questions. I think they're amazing. But I just feel like a lot of aw shucks y'all shouldn't have. That's very cute. You know what I mean? Like. Sure. Sure.

Okay. I feel like the fact that I haven't asked you questions... That's not what it's about. Well, I know, but anyway. Courtney Peterson asks, what is your favorite national park and why? With an interrobang, which I appreciate. I'm glad they asked this. It's Glacier. Is it really? I would say it's Glacier. Beautiful. Because I went there as a child and I saw a mountain goat in real life. We did a mountain goats episode in case anyone needs it. And also...

Yeah, so nostalgia, I like that it's so close to the land of Canada also. So I would say that. I don't think I've ever been to Yellowstone. That was supposed to shock you. I was thinking if we, I was like, I don't think I've been to Yellowstone. Yeah, we gotta go to Yellowstone. I've watched Yellowstone. Yeah, which doesn't take place in Yellowstone. Right.

That always gets me. As someone whose family is from Montana, I'm like, come on. But yeah, I would say I have roots to Montana, so I'd say Glacier. Also, I think that... I don't know where we stand on Pendleton. I think maybe...

The blankets? Yeah. I don't know if they're good guys or bad guys, but they do make a glacier blanket that's one of my favorites. We had one growing up and it was moth-eaten and stuff, but we had it forever. I'm trying to get better about all or nothing thinking. Yeah, okay. So much more dialectic for me these days. Good guys, bad guys, who knows? I don't know. Well, I feel like maybe they may have...

stolen like patterns from like indigenous tribes. But I absolutely, this deserves an aside and Pendleton, if I'm mischaracterizing your relationship. I think they're really nice blankets. I think that's undeniable. I know, but I think I need to look it up is all I'm saying. Well, I'm just trying to give you another side to it. Right, right. But I just, I want,

To make sure to give credit where credit's due. Absolutely. And again, Pendleton, if I've got it wrong, then I'll correct it in a future episode. Wonderful. For one free blanket. There we go. Derek Allen asked, what would be your perfect day? Maybe this is too big. Is this too long a question? I'll make it quick. Okay. Is it a regular day or...

Yeah, let's say like whatever. Whatever you think it is. What's a perfect day to do? I'm waking up early. It's dawn. I'm in a cabin. It smells like pine outside. You're there. Grammy's there. A lot of people I love are in other cabins in the surrounding area, but there's one meeting hall in the middle. This is a lot like family reunions when I was a child. You walk around. Maybe you have some coffee with some delicious...

very bad for you coffee creamer in it. And then you walk around maybe solo in the morning and just get in cold air in your lungs. And then later that day, you're making food with all your loved ones that are in cabins. You're going on a canoe ride. Essentially, I'm just describing my family reunion. But also, there's a lot of fuzzy blankets. There's a lot of dogs available. There's maybe a movie on a blown up screen projector at night.

I've got a burlap sack full of jewels that I sell to a trader for gold coins. I use those gold coins to purchase a ship. I take the ship and I sail it to one of the poles and I never speak to anyone else again. That's okay. I just felt like it was too ordinary. I tried to spice it up. It's a perfect day. I love that. Mercedes Maitland.

I love her. Me too. She's the lead editor of this podcast. She was supposed to be conducting this, but we couldn't get her in my sister-in-law's bed. What I'm saying is we didn't do this in time because we were getting ready. I was trying to get ahead on episodes. Absolutely. If you were to make your own personal crest and motto, what image and which three Latin words would you choose? Latin words. I want to just make clear that I wouldn't actually sell a burlap sack of jewels.

Or buy a ship. I really don't like boats. You actually really don't like boats, which is really funny. You talk all the time about how much you don't want to have a boat. I'd never want to own a boat. Too much maintenance. I couldn't do it. I would use it maybe one day a year. But you've got to tow it. It's just not my thing. You were having fun with it. You were having fun with the questions. I'm stalling to figure out the Latin. Let's do a little bit at a time. What image...

Do you think would be on it, your personal crest and motto? Fig-eater, beetle. Oh, yeah, okay. And it would be ficus, fago, ego. What do those mean? I think I mixed in some Greek. It means I eat figs. That would be it? I'm put on the spot here. That's not much of a motto. What does that mean to you? I eat figs.

Because it'd be the Fig-Eater Beetle. I understand. But what's that motto? What does that personal question motto mean for your life? It would mean that I partake in the juices of life. Okay. And I contain wasps. I like that. I'll take that from you. I really just couldn't think of enough Latin. True. I think that was pretty good. Because I did take four years of Latin, and I think that Faygo might be Greek. Well, Faygo is a soda that juggalos like to drink. Oh, it's with a P-H. Okay. Okay.

If I knew more Latin. I think that the crest would have a juggalo on it, though, for sure. Dave Brewer, a friend in college said, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did. He wasn't right about a lot of things, but in my experience, he was right about that. What's something you regret not doing? I had the opportunity to go in a fighter jet, and I had too much diarrhea. Yeah.

I was too scared. Yeah. I thought we were going to pull like 12 Gs and I thought I would throw up and I thought it would be very bad. I was able to pull 5.6 Gs gravitational forces in a centrifuge in training for it. Very impressive. But, you know, with a flight suit that

expanded and filled up. It was inflated to help keep your blood in the lower half of your body. So you didn't have G lock, which is G induced loss of consciousness. I had the opportunity to go in a fighter jet and I was too scared to

That's a good answer. I should have. But we do have a cousin, my cousin Joe Salvamini. Oh, yeah. One of the Red Devils, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah. How odd is that that I just have a cousin that flies? From what I understand, very expensive, that fuel. But you know what? Hey, they're going to use it anyway. You know what, though? My carbon footprint, a little smaller because I chickened out. Yeah, that's true, I guess. So good on me. I guess. All right. Yeah.

Matthew Walcher. Someone is going to want to know how to make a podcast. What recording equipment do you use? Zoom H4n, couple SM58s. There you go. You're off to the races. That's very true. Make sure that you get your cards for this particular Zoom recorder. 32 gigs or less. Chargeable batteries are a good idea.

Get a lot of them. Yeah, and I... Change them every time. Yeah, and I edit my stuff on ProLogic, which I think is $199. Logic Pro. Logic Pro, thank you. But you can use GarageBand or Audacity. I use the Adobe Suite myself. YouTube University is going to help you a lot. All about it. Or you can hire Mercedes Maitland of Maitland Audio or...

Someone from Mindjam Media. That's right. Both of those companies do podcasts. Yeah, listen to season three. Of Avatar? Yep. Braving the Elements, season three. We're doing the Avatar podcast for Nickelodeon. Jarrett is the post-production supervisor. That's right. On a new Nickelodeon season coming out. What a thrill, what a thrill. Mm-hmm. Starts very soon. Matthew Walcher asked, what do you think is your most justified paranoia? How do you justify it? Oh, man.

Suddenly no one listening to ologies anymore. Oh, that's a justified paranoia. Well, that's a justified paranoia. You never know. I'm so lucky. This is the best job in the world. I'm so lucky. People suddenly not liking it. And actually, Apple did an update recently on their podcast software. Oh, we're not going to get into this. It's true anxiety. And a bunch of podcasts.

Their downloads have dramatically dropped because of this Apple update. And if you don't listen to the last five episodes or check it once in two weeks, then it stops downloading the episodes and I think sending you notifications. So anyway, it's terrifying. It's all happening. I've had so much bile in my throat over it in anxiety because it's like,

Suddenly, because of nothing that you did wrong, you suddenly are like swimming against this terrible current. So if you listen on Apple, go listen on Spotify or go listen on, I think Google Podcasts is phasing out.

There's Overcast, there's Pocketcast, there's Podbay, just whatever. Who knows? Or just listen a lot. Yeah, just check it. Because podcasters, your favorite podcasters are freaking out a little bit about it. Okay, that's all. That's all I'll say. And also, if you feel like you're hearing more ads in podcasts, it's because a lot of people...

don't have a lot of the downloads that they had a few months ago. So then they have to double up their ad breaks because their downloads suddenly went down and they promised a certain number of ad impressions. So that's what's going on. Now you know the tea from the podcast world. Aren't you glad? I could sit here and talk about podcast business forever. I had to learn so much from knowing nothing. So there you go. Kyla C.,

What is a dream scientific experiment or historical investigation you want to pursue or have someone else pursue? I want to figure out what dark matter is. Yes. I need to know what dark matter is. Is it ghosts? Listen to them, a dark matter episode or the recent quasi thanatology about what a dark matter expert says about is dark matter ghosts. I like the idea that dark matter is all ghosts. I realize that it's not. I like the idea that it's invisible glitter filled with ghosts and it allows you to send, um,

like some sort of ESP type of text messages to people. Yes. I'm going to start just rapid-ing these with you. Okay. Because I feel like we got to more stuff. And then we got to wrap it up. I guess. Kai Kishimoto, if you could go on a wild-laced safari to any period of Earth's history, what would you like to see? The future.

Really? Yeah. I want to see where we're at in 2,000 years. 2,000 years? I want to see if there's any buildings left. Just today, I was thinking about, at what point will the Earth recover everything and buildings will only be pieces of metal that are buried in dirt and some shreds of plastic? Totally. You know? Bonnie Detwiller, if you could permanently bring back to life any extinct animal, which lucky animal or species would you pick? Grammy after she dies. Good answer. I think...

Tasmanian tiger. Real bummer. But that's a charismatic kind of megafauna. Oh, you know what? Giant ground sloth. Oh, cool one. They had him in California. I know. You can go see the big statues of the Librae carpet. Giant ground sloth. Love those things. Hondo P. Kasaya sword. If you were a mythical creature, what would you be? I am. I'd be a siren. Just kidding. I don't like boats.

A mythical creature? Yeah, yeah. I would love to be something that had herbivore legs, but an omnivore top. Like, I would love to have antelope legs. Like a centaur. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. You know what I mean? I want to run and gallop, but I also wanted to have thumbs. Well, centaur is it then. Yeah. You'd be a great centaur. Do you know how satisfying your poops would be? But could you eat enough fiber to get those kind of horse poops?

Would you have to eat as much like Timothy Hay to sustain your ungulate? I think they're ungulate. These are very good questions. You know what I mean? Like how many stomachs does a centaur have? Do they have one normal, like one alimentary canal, a gastric, everything like a human? I think mythical creatures...

This is how I think they work. I think that they have magical qualities about them that allow them to do things that defy standard physics. Like a dragon or hippogriff would just fall out of the sky. They're not made to actually do that. But because they're magical mythical creatures, they go and just zoom around, no problem. I bet if you poked a centaur in the belly, a dark matter would just come streaming out. Glittery ghosts. Yeah.

I just wonder how big their intestines are. Marina, if you could magically be turned into a corvid, what species would you choose to be? Oh, ravens. I'm very, very good friends with some ravens. They don't know that, but I do. I go and put out a pan of things I think they'd like to eat. And then I do this. Come on, come on.

into the sky and then a couple minutes later they start circling and sometimes i give them peanuts sometimes i give them some leftover biscuits um sometimes i give them scraps of chicken i found out they don't like bananas they're like what you know what is this i thought maybe they think they were slugs or something they don't like them um so we're pals we're friends and

So yes, them. Because I would want to know. I'd want to be one of them and I'd want to go back to the nest. I want to be like, what do you guys really like to eat? And that way I could figure it out and then I'd get turned back into myself and I'd buy that stuff at Costco, whatever they said. Julia Shock, would you rather be a bear-sized chipmunk or a chipmunk-sized bear? Chipmunk-sized bear all the way. Really? 100%. Do you know how much food you would have to get to sustain your metabolism? Good call. You're right.

As a bear-sized chipmunk, all day long you'd be working. You'd be such a work, so burnt out. You'd be like, I hit all these nuts and in order to hide the nuts, I have to go like three miles in between nuts. And then you'd... You're right. You know, but if you were a...

size bear. Number one, you'd need one worm. It'll last you a week. Forget that. You could eat anything. You're an islander. You're a bear. And you'd have so much fun. One donut would be like, bum, bum, bum, bum. You'd be good to go for a long time. And then also your cave could be like a shoe. It could be like a crock that you found discarded in a park. And you'd be so cute. Everyone would love you. You'd be so cute. And when you bit people, they'd be like, give me a little nibble. I was thinking that, that if you were a

a bear-sized chipmunk, they would ET you. They'd come to take you away. You'd get put in a bunker. Or they'd shoot you with something. For sure. And it'd just be terrible. People would be like, wow, I've never seen a chipmunk that big. We've never put it in a box. They'd study you for days. Can you imagine, though, if every single nut that you ate was like eating a pine nut for you? Tiny. Yes. Frustrating. Simone Gomez, what makes a person smart, in your opinion?

curiosity and uh being willing to learn things because no baby comes into the world being like let me tell you about quantum physics and engineering and everything about this plant everyone had to learn so as long as you're interested enough to learn and retain the information you could do so many things and you can know so many things sarah nyland hi ali hi

My question is, well, they said, first of all, you're so cool and I can't say enough how much I respect the lobologies. I agree. We all agree. My question is, do you have an opinion? Mm-hmm.

Very specific. On what consciousness is or how it evolved. I'm a layperson, neuroscience hopeful, interested in it, and I think that every animate being in the universe can have a sense of what it is, since after all, our identities are made out of it. And I thought, if I could one day get your opinion on this, I'd positively swoon. I'm only laughing because one and a half minutes ago, I was like, do you think they have horse-sized poops? And now I'm supposed to explain consciousness? That's why we come to this show. Yeah.

It's your opinion. It's your opinion. My opinion. I think that consciousness is a type of energy or matter that we don't understand yet. And I think that we are going to be horrified to realize how many creatures have much more complicated types of consciousness. Like,

We talked about this in the nematology, the benthopelagic nematology about deep sea worms episode about just how complicated a sea elegans nematode worm is. And I think that we'll become more and more horrified as we see how many other creatures that we've exploited have...

types of consciousness similar to us, even if they don't have like maybe a cognitive ability on par with humans, but as we center ourselves so much, but I think that we will figure out that it's some sort of, um, some sort of energy or some sort of matter that goes somewhere to explain why we're like alive one minute and dead the next. Um, I don't know what that is. I don't know if it evaporates. I don't know if it becomes photons. I don't know if, um,

Grandpa becomes a butterfly that you think of every time you see it. I don't know. But I do think that if you, like, we just figured out soap. Like,

Indoor plumbing didn't exist in most U.S. households until like the 1930s. Or it was still common to not have indoor plumbing like into the last century. Antibiotics, new. Vehicles, new. All of these things are new. Computers, new. Like so much science.

that we still are relying on was done without computers or the internet. So the idea that we have it all figured out, especially consciousness and neurobiology and neuroscience, baby brains, we don't even completely know, like we talked about in quasi-thinatology, what neurotransmitters are working where and when. So there's a lot of medications that are really helping people with different mental problems.

myself included, mental illnesses and depression and anxiety that we don't know exactly how they work. They just sometimes do work a little bit better than placebo. So I don't know. I don't know. But I think the idea that we know everything is the saddest and most hilarious notion because we very much don't. Yeah. And dark matters, ghosts. Now, Grammy, we got to take Grammy's soul away

And we got to put it in something else so that she lives forever. Well, yeah. Even though she doesn't like us very much. She needs to be around forever. I think she likes us. I think she already is around forever, personally. That's just because it's a failing of our limited capacity to perceive that we think time only goes in one direction. Okay. Yeah.

I think every moment is kind of infinite. I got to know about multiverses. That's another thing. Alyssa Berg. Yeah. Any new ADHD tricks and tips you found that work for you since your last Life Advice and ADHD episodes? Jarrett Sleeper, ADHD. I'll tell you one thing.

stimulants don't work for me. They do not work for you. No. Stimulants don't mix well with other things you've got going on. No, no. That's fine. My anxiety is like, get out of here with that. Yeah. Um, Joe sleeper, any ADHD hacks that you want to, um, even if I'm not doing them. Sure. Cause I've had a little bit of a rough go for a bit here, but I know without a doubt, intense physical activity regularly, super duper important.

to regulating my ADHD at all. When you're talking intense physical activity, you want to give us some exams? I think you need to have something that tells you breaking a hard sweat and huffing and puffing, like hard. I don't think it has to be long. I think Tabatas are great. That could be open in a pickle jar for me. No, I mean, yes. But I mean, you got to get your heart rate up high, like over...

I don't know, 150. I don't want to put a number on it. It's different for everybody depending where you're at. I'm sure you can go online and find people who will give you a number. It'll probably be around over 140 BPM or something like that. But you've got to do something that is difficult that makes you have some major metabolic response. Something like that just makes you go, I worked out. I worked. Holy smokes. I think resistance training is really important too. You know what? I'll tell you...

There was this dog show a long time ago, and they always said, like, every dog, before you approach anything about its behavioral stuff. And I saw this, and I was like, hey, that works for me. I was like, you got to run them. You got to make sure they're eating food and water normal and stuff. And then sometimes they need to have a job. And I was like, yeah, that works for me. You got to get tired to get your brain to settle at all. You got to feed it the right. So that's the only thing I know works for sure, is doing a lot of exercise or something like that. For you. Yeah.

No, I think for, I think this is pretty, I'm just saying, I think anybody with ADHD should give it a shot. If they can. Mileage may vary, but because we can't dispense medical advice here. It's not medical advice. Okay. It's a little bit medical advice, but it's, this is not intended to cure. It's lifestyle advice. Right. It's not intended to cure or treat. No, there's no curing or treating. I'm just, I mean, every day. I know. I just, just disclaimer. We got to wrap this up. You asked. We're at hour 22. Yeah.

We're at 22 hours? Yeah, we're at almost 26 hours. All right, I don't know what to do. We can cut stuff out of this, too. Nah, we're just going to post it. This is the most chill episode ever of Ologies. I just got really anxious. No, no, no, no, no. I just meant, again, happy birthday to me. I mean, I could do tons on HD. I'm just going to stop. Okay, what else? I'm just trying to look through because there's so much. Pick one at random or scroll to the end.

Lindsay Howells. Hi, Allie. I so appreciate the way you cultivate such an inclusive online community with your curiosity and willingness to authentically show up and learn in public. I feel like you could do a whole episode on this or teach a class, but I would love to know more about how you build an inclusive community and what the challenges have been in creating it. You seem to do it so gracefully.

but I'm sure there have been struggles or backlash or nasty comments at times. How do you cope with those things and maintain your unapologetic, get compassionate attitude for those who give you shit? Oh, that's really nice. I think that it's very much golden rule stuff.

I don't like for people to feel excluded from anything. I don't like for people to feel othered because I felt that in so many ways in my life. And the idea that anyone would feel unwelcome somewhere makes me want to cry. So I like to make sure people feel seen and appreciated.

And that also people are able to look at other people in a way that's much more dimensional because I feel like a lot of times people forget that there are whole human beings behind a person's eyes. And so I think I tried to do that with ologies, have different ologists on with different perspectives and different histories and stuff. Um,

And hopefully what comes out of this show is not only are scientists real people, but everyone has an interesting backstory and everyone has context to what they love and what they hate. And everyone has these experiences and this knowledge that you would never know unless you tapped it with some sort of curiosity and empathy. So that's really important to me. The biggest backlash I think I've ever gotten is most of my one-star reviews are people who are like, love the show, great show, love everything about it.

asked pronouns, I'm out. And so the asking of pronouns is something that weeds out listeners who don't really like that inclusion. But that started, I've had a lot of trans guests on and also someone who's, you know, their partner was non-binary. They're like, if you ask pronouns, it helps normalize that for all of us. And I was like, that's a good point. And so

I think then I started doing that, but also I did a gynecology episode and I thought I was being inclusive by calling it women's health. And I talked a lot about trans women in it, but I completely failed to include trans men who are,

have operating parts that a gynecologist can work on. And so I got some feedback on that like hours after I posted and I was like, I didn't, I didn't consider that. I, I didn't approach that.

In the most inclusive way. And I just take that as a helpful tip from people because I don't think anyone wants to admonish me or make me feel bad. I think people are just like, Hey, just so you know, this was an oversight. And so I corrected it as soon as I could. And I learned a lot in the process and I learned a lot about just, this was years ago, but I think this came out like 2018, but about non-binary identities. And anyway, so, so I think that,

I trust y'all that if you are giving me feedback on something, it's something that you want me to know for the betterment of myself and the show and for other listeners, because I have the opportunity to like pass it on to other people. So sometimes I got to learn publicly that way I can help teach other people why that context matters. So, but yeah, um,

pronouns are a sticking point for some people. They don't like hearing about that. And I say, fine, that's fine. You can listen to things elsewhere. But that's how we do things in my house here. But I also get some backlash just calling me, you know, like ugly and stupid and stuff. Yeah. That's weird. Yeah. Do you? Sometimes, yeah.

Yeah, sometimes. But that's like. But that's usually from like accounts that are like. It's like a nothing. It's like Patriot 49964, you know, on Twitter or something. Yeah. You know, where I'm like, okay. Mm-hmm. You know. Right. That's just like such a, that's like, it's like so childish and strange. You're just like, huh? Isn't it kind of like a nothing? Yeah, right. I don't know.

Paulina Tarr, this is kind of on this. You seem like a person who knows themselves so well. You have such a special voice and sense of self. How did you find that? Asking as an early 20s person, trying to find that for myself.

That's sweet. I think I know myself too well sometimes because I'm too introspective and I'm always trying to tinker under the hood to be like, how does this thing run? But then again, I wouldn't say I'm wholly self-aware. But I think that at one point, I think I realized that you can

you can be a little bit weirder than you think it's okay. Cause we tend to put on like this facade, this like a harder shell than we need to, to like polish ourselves. And I think that that just results in a lot of homogeny. And so I think that you can be a little weirder than you think is okay. And you're much safer than you think you are. And also that's what makes people interesting. So I always try to just,

default to the truth in whatever I'm saying or thinking or writing, what's the most true statement? Because usually that's what is the most gratifying to put out. And also it tends to be more relatable. So I think that if you feel weird, then you should be weird. Don't hurt anyone else. But if you feel weird, you should be weird. 100%. I have a post-it note on my desk that says, be weirder than

you think is okay. And when I'm writing, I try to remember if I'm writing an aside or if I'm researching something or dah, dah, dah, dah. Then I think, am I playing it safe here? Or can this get a little grosser or weirder or more professional? You know what I mean? Sure. Yeah. All right. I'm going to, we're going to do a few like kind of show, show making. Oh my gosh. We're almost done. Okay. We're going to get near the end, but I want to hit some ones that a lot of people wanted. Okay. Okay. A lot of people ask something around along these lines, but this is Hezzy Anholt.

How many hours a week-ish do you put into ologies? Is it your main gig? Would you make it your primary full-time thing? Or do you have a primal need to always be involved in multiple projects simultaneously, everything, everywhere, all at once? Hi, yes, I have ADHD too, probably. I love this person. Uh,

Um, it is my full-time gig now, but I do have a lot of projects usually in the works, like other TV shows, or I was consulting on a lot of shows. And this past year, I think I've really said no to more things because, um, all of Jesus is my main full-time job and I, uh, it's more reliable and more, um,

more gratifying work than a lot of the work I do. I love a lot of my jobs, but this is the most true to me. And in terms of hours, it takes all of them, I think. I mean, right now it's the day after Christmas and we're in your sister's guest bedroom and we're recording this. But that's because I took a lot of time off this week to just chill and eat like panettone and stuff. As one should. As one should. But I would say the number of hours I put in

used to be like 80 hours a week and i think i've shaved it down to like 50 60 maybe um but it's yeah yeah but i mean a lot of it is i just go down research rabbit holes because i think they're really fascinating too but we all and then we also have susan hale managing director who does so much on the show and she does like all of our financials she does a ton of social media she's

manages the whole thing. We have Noel who does all the scheduling, who I don't know how I would get places without her reminding me. And, and Mercedes who does all the editing. So I started this without any of that. And so, so I'm, I'm so lucky cause I, I couldn't, I couldn't do this job without him. I promise we're wrapping up with a handful. Okay. I'm sorry. I have the same. Asked with a K caffeine.

A bunch of people wanted to hear, how do you discern who would make a good ologist to interview before you commit to interviewing them? How often do you have to throw out interviews asking someone who has very bad trust issues, ha ha? I like listening. I love, okay, first the work comes first. I look at their work and I think, oh, this is cool that they study this.

They've maybe written some papers or they do their own sci-com on it. Typically, passion is a big leader in terms of whether or not I want to pick them to be on the show if they're passionate about something. I'll...

maybe watch YouTube videos that they've done and think, Oh great. They seem excited. And I love reaching out to them and being like, hi, you mean you probably don't know me, but I would love to talk about your life for a while. Um, and hearing back from them. And, uh, I will also see what are the things they posted to see if they are, have you said anything wildly offensive or racist, misogynistic, which happens every once in a while. And I say, no, I don't really want this person on the show. Um,

They can have whatever platform they want, just perhaps not mine at that moment because I am very protective of my listeners in terms of what I expose them to. And I have shit-canned two episodes. One of them...

was about an animal, but we ended up really talking much more about the harvesting of this animal and factory farming. And I felt a little weird about it. And so I, it's kind of on the back, it's in a folder called back burner. And then another was, oh gosh, I don't know if I should say that.

People got really mad at me about the witchology episode because I talked to someone who was practicing witch. And some people were saying, why couldn't you get someone who was a scholar in this? Number one, it's like this person has a ton of lived experience. They've written several books about it. They have their own spiritual beliefs. And I was interested to hear what those were. But I did interview someone about a topic adjacent to this who was very scholarly and ended up saying some things that were

misogynistic and racist during the interview I found, and I'm not going to name any names, but I felt like they had a very good platform to denounce some forms of racism and they didn't. So I said, I think I'm going to put this one in the, in the note bucket. And so what I got when people were upset about the, which all a couple of people were upset about the witchology episode, not being academic enough. And I was like, Oh, you have no idea how,

what I've spared you. So that is why I went the direction I did with it is I wanted to talk to someone who had a really, had a wide breadth of experience and knowledge from a lot of different angles, both European and indigenous and happened. They were non-binary, which is helpful because talking about generals anyway. So if you disliked the witchology episode, if you've listened to this much of this AMA episode, I'd,

And you just liked it. Just know that there was a reason why I selected that guest. I thought they were perfect for it. Continue. Okay, we're going to do like two more. Okay. Because there's so many. We could do so many. I know, I know, I know, I know. This is a ticky-tacky one. You decide if you want to give the secret away. Aaron asked, I've always wondered how you find the audio snippets for movies. Do you usually have a specific phrase or scene in mind? Do you have to Google them? Or is there a database somewhere?

There's a secret database. I'm not willing to give up our source for that. I'm sorry. I'm just not going to do it. I'm just not going to do it. I prefer to keep that secret. And I usually, when I'm listening to the episode, I will put a note there of what I would want someone to say in response. And then I'll go look for that in a clip or something.

Part of the conversation will remind me of something pop cultural that I'll want to put in there. But sometimes a lot of times to the clips are there to kind of break up moments or as a transition from one thought to the next, if I have to do an edit or as just something to kind of a proxy for what the audience might be thinking or what...

might be some subtext of what we're talking about. And so I'll usually, we'll think up something that I would want to hear there and then I'll search for a quote that would match that. But I'm not willing to give up my secrets. You're going to have to tickle them out of me. Oh my goodness. Yeah.

All right, all right, all right. I can't believe you're keeping that one. I know. That's really... Wow. That's for a future AMA. There's a lot more for future AMAs, for sure. Okay, there was one final one. I don't want to find it because they phrased it so well. Thank you for interviewing with me. Thank you for doing this, Jer. It's been so great. This is...

I'm going to be earnest right now. If anyone's listened this long, this is a very vulnerable thing for me to do. Cause it's, I, it, it feels, I'm trying not to feel like too self-indulgent about it by being like, yes, let's talk about me, me, me, me, me. And also, um,

I'm conscious of the fact that I say um and such. I typically like to cut those out if I'm being sloppy. I wouldn't describe you as sloppy at all, to be honest. Thank you. All right. Yes. Boreal Becca says...

Is this an Alleyology episode? Well, well, well. We must know. What's the best and worst parts of your job? And a lot of people wanted this. Just so you know. Will, Dave DeBearmaker, Becky Sassy, secret scientist. You know, Becky. Kate sometimes, Moffat, et cetera. What do you got? Worst and best. Worst part of the job is...

to social media because a lot of times, just the thing where you're writing something in an Instagram post and then you press one button and you go back and you lose your whole caption. So I try to write them in another way

program or notes app. I'm always thinking I need a social media more, but I'm also like, I have to work on the next episode. So I can't spend a whole day social media in this and then be late on the next episode. So that's very difficult. If someone's a social media expert and wants to throw their hat in the ring, LA based, do holler. You'll find our contacts at alleyward.com. That would be fantastic. Must be TikTok literate and willing to

To tell me what to post sometimes. Maybe even come over, say, Allie, I'm going to film you for this for TikToks, okay? And then she just does it and then you put it on there. And then you say, Allie, we're going to spend six hours learning a dance so we can put a 10 second clip up. Well, that'd be great as well. Right. So...

Do holler. The worst is social media. That's the hardest part because I always feel like I could be doing more, but I also, as soon as I hop on social media, also before I know it, you know, I'm dick deep in something I don't want to be looking at. I hear you. You know? I'm on someone's cousin's in-law's yogurt-making page. What am I? I got shit to do. So social media is difficult for me. Best part about my job is

I love finding the ologists and I love when they write me back. There's a certain kind of message you get, like if you were to say text your crush and you were to see a notification from them, when you have an email in your inbox that you've been waiting for, there's a certain dopamine spike that happens when I get an email back from an ologist I've reached out to that is, it's like a jackpot. It's like,

loose slots, coins coming out of the sky. And it's a great feeling. And I say, I may have a new friend. And as I've gotten busier, Noelle will, as a scheduling producer, will reach out as first contact because I got very busy and I got very, very sick. And I had to have over the summer, y'all know that. And I had to

shirk some of my responsibilities onto my very capable team. And I do. So now I, the last month or so I've been reaching out to people more again, myself, because the last six, six months or so I was, I was not feeling so great, but, um,

We also did a ton of episodes that we have banked from before I got pneumonia, et cetera. And those are still coming out. So someone the other day, Connor, they, them on Patreon asked me what happened to those episodes that you recorded in early summer. I'm still putting them out and I like to intersperse them with like maybe an animal one here. Here's a medical one. Here's one about something sociological. So I like to mix them up. So I'm spreading them out.

Great. Thank you for that question. My second favorite thing about the job, hanging out in a bed, talking about myself. Clearly not, because this was unbelievably painful for you. I'm sorry. I thought it'd be much easier, but... No, this is great. I appreciate this. I love you so much. I love you. I love you so much. Thanks for listening to just a podcast host and a dog.

And a husband asking questions. Yeah. Mercedes Maitland, we are sorry that you did not...

give these questions out. We just mess it up. Just do it more regularly. Perhaps a patron-only perk because I would like to get back to doing some live streams. I haven't done some in a little bit and I like doing them once a month. So we'll do more weird stuff on patreon.com slash ologies. I just keep hearing the theme song in my head because I know I'm going to put it in here somewhere. Thank you for doing this in your sister's guest house. Oh, it's so nice.

It's lovely. Any advice, Jarrett, for people who want to start a podcast? Just do it, man. Just do it. No, I mean, kind of, but also you have better advice. Make it a show. That would be my advice. Yeah. I was like, if you're going to start a podcast, make sure it's a show.

You know what I mean? Think about the structure and the format. Think about why people listen. Like people listen to a podcast or whatever. They watch a video to get something from it and to put it in their pocket and say, my life is a little bit different and perhaps a little bit better now. And so...

um, think about why you consume the media you consume and what you're getting from it, what you're taking away from it. And so think when you're starting a podcast or when you're doing something like that, like what are people coming to me for? Right. And, um, and what do, what do I have to offer? What do you want to disseminate? And one thing that I hope that ologies does is not just facts about things, but also like a, um,

kind of inspiring like some curiosity and some wonder and things like that. And so, and also this notion that like people are, are much more human and complex and imperfect and perfect in that way. And so what are people coming to your thing for? So think about that. Don't, yeah, don't leave your audience out. Also on a very baseline level, because yes, your show does all those things, but at a baseline level, your show has a simple promise that is fulfilled every week.

Which is? I'm going to speak to an ologist. That's true. From some ology. That's the hook. But I'm just saying that is very important. That makes it a show. Right, right, right. As opposed to, my roommate and I are really funny. We're always just having these funny conversations. I think we just record our funny conversations. We're going to get so into that. Right, which this is the most that of any episode I've ever done. Yeah, but you earned it. You earned it. You've done a lot of the other kind. And it's the holidays. But.

We're not even trying to be funny. I mean, if we were trying to be funny, we're so funny. I'm going to hit myself in the head with a microphone. All right, let's wrap this thing up. I'm just saying, yeah, think of segments.

think of what your show has to offer and think of like a little hook if someone had to describe it in one sentence how would they describe it you know if people say oh you make a podcast they say yeah and they go what is it about and say it's called the ologist we talk to a different ologist every week you know like geology thermophysiology and then I name a couple ologists and they go oh I get it wow that sounds interesting I'll tune in alright I love you so much have a great holiday do we have a secret that we want to tell at the end of this

Do you have a secret you want to tell at the end of this? The secret that I want to tell at the end of this is that I'm wearing, I'm recording this in pajamas and I have been wearing, it's currently close to midnight Eastern time and I've been wearing these pajamas all day and I haven't changed out of them all day. That's not even that crazy secret. I feel like a lot of other people listening are going to be like, hey, that's me. I'm just saying because I'm sweaty right now. Podcast hosts, they're just like us.

That's true. They are. They sweat in their pajamas for days at a time at their in-laws house. And they play guess my fart with our family members. Oh no. Oh no. That is lingering because this is like real life. I know. I'm trying to think of a better, one other secret is I don't, I don't have COVID, but I do have a little bit of a runny nose. And so during the recording of this, I have been shoving a, um, a paper towel periodically up my nose. Burr bye. Burr bye. Burr bye.

Well, it's been so nice talking to you. After the end of a good fight, you deserve a nice cold reward. Medela, you put in the hours, the energy, the tough labor, because you know the bigger the fight, the better the reward. Medela, the mark of the fight. Brick responsibly. Beer imported by Crown & Port Chicago, Illinois.

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