cover of episode You Learn This Too Late: This One Idea Might Change Your Entire Life

You Learn This Too Late: This One Idea Might Change Your Entire Life

2024/6/20
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The Mel Robbins Podcast
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Dr. Shefali
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Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
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Mel Robbins: 本期节目的核心是探讨生命意义以及我们在各种人际关系中常犯的错误，并提供相应的解决方法。我们常常以控制欲来应对焦虑，但这种方式往往适得其反。Dr. Shefali 的观点是，我们需要放下控制欲，关注自身内在的觉醒，才能改善亲子关系以及其他重要的人际关系。 Dr. Shefali: 人们对生活的控制欲源于内心的焦虑和不安全感，而这种不安全感又与他们自身的不值得感有关。觉知育儿并非关注于塑造完美的子女，而是关注于父母意识的觉醒。如果父母内心与自身脱节，那么无论对孩子说什么，传递的信息都会是脱节和无力感的。父母在育儿中的行为模式往往源于他们童年时期未被治愈的创伤。育儿的目的不是为了改变或修复孩子，而是利用这段经历来改变和治愈父母自身的问题。孩子本身并没有问题。以缺乏和匮乏感为基础，将孩子视为自身成就的奖杯的育儿方式是行不通的。父母的焦虑会导致控制欲，而被控制的孩子会觉得自己有问题，从而陷入自我否定的循环。觉知育儿鼓励父母放下控制欲，因为孩子是无法被完全控制的。觉知育儿是一种练习，需要父母活在当下，理解生命的脆弱，并放下控制欲。我们对控制的渴望源于内心的焦虑和对自身价值的怀疑。如果父母能够放下控制欲，孩子才能获得内在的赋能感。 Dr. Shefali: 觉知育儿的方法适用于所有经历过为人父母或子女的人。觉知育儿旨在打破有害的文化观念，例如将孩子的成功等同于父母的价值。对幸福的过度追求会让我们忽略当下，而孩子最擅长活在当下。将幸福作为育儿目标同样存在问题，它仍然是一种以自我为中心的控制方式。父母对孩子幸福的定义往往是基于自身的期望和价值观，而非孩子的真实需求。我们养育孩子，往往是为了填补自身内心的空虚和不安全感。父母对孩子的控制欲往往源于一种潜意识的“你欠我的”心态，这是一种有害的依附关系。父母应该坦诚地承认自己养育孩子的动机，这有助于打破有害的亲子关系。最有害的育儿行为是利用孩子来满足自身的幻想、期望和欲望，并且不承认这一点。父母对孩子的控制欲源于他们自身尚未获得的自我价值感和安全感。父母的角色是成为孩子无条件的爱和接纳的避风港。每个孩子都需要被看见、被认可，并感受到无条件的爱和接纳。父母不应该将孩子的成就作为衡量自身价值的标准。

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Today’s episode is a wake-up call. 

By the time you finish listening, you’ll have an entirely different approach to how you think about life. 

This is one of the most profound and insightful episodes of all time on The Mel Robbins Podcast. 

Joining Mel today is the renowned clinical psychologist and spiritual teacher, Dr. Shefali. 

This conversation strikes deep into the core of what it means to be alive and the mistakes that you are likely to make in every relationship you have. 

It is an invitation for you to really consider your own experience and how your parent-child relationship impacted you, including how you show up in your day-to-day life and how you do (or will) show up as a parent. 

Dr. Shefali will help you break cycles and reparent yourself. She’ll give you the steps to find your authentic self and maybe even have a spiritual awakening. 

And you’ll learn the BEST advice for raising kids (and supporting adult children) that Mel has ever heard. 

Dr. Shefali received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. She's an expert in family dynamics and is known as the pioneer of the conscious parenting movement. She specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy and is a New York Times bestselling author of 7 books.

Her simple words will change how you think about yourself, your life, and your relationships in a whole new way. 

For more resources, including links to Dr. Shefali’s research, website, and social media, click here) for the podcast episode page. 

If you liked this enlightening episode, you’ll love listening to this episode next: Life Is Short (How to Spend It Wisely))

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