How To Reset Your Mind for Calm & Control
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Hey, each friend male and welcome to the male Robin's broadcast. The man has been on, I drop their son. Okay, off a college couple weeks ago, there was a particular moment that I cannot stop thinking about.

We were just have had to leave. And all of a sudden, or one hundred hundred year old son pulled out his stuff, ed animal from, and his tatter blank that he had. Sce, he was born.

And then he put them both write in the middle of his freshman dorm bed. IT was just so beautiful. And I got me thinking, do you still have your old blanky, or your favorite cat, your bunny? I, I wish I did.

You know, those well loved beat up stuffed to animals that you had as a kid, the ones that you hugged so hard. And the fabric smells like a mix of bad breath and old dirt. S and pure magic oakly was on to something when he took blanky entity to college.

See, comforting things are way more important than you think. They're not just release from your childhood. These are essential tools for your brain. And today you and I are gonna dig into the surprising and profound science of simple comforts in your day to day life.

And i'm so excited to tell you that this episode, and our conversation today about the importance of comfort, is brought to you by starbucks rapino drink. They're bringing you this entire episode, which means that all the ads that you usually hear in an episode, you're not going to hear him. Thank you so much for pco drink for being here together with you and me.

I really appreciate you sponsoring this episode. See you. And I usually talk about pushing beyond our comfort zones.

But today, let switch gears and talk about the importance of comfort. Comfort isn't just a luxury. It's a necessity.

Think about IT. Life never slows down, so finding moments of comfort is what will keep you grounded and refreshed. It's what helps you reset, find your center and keep moving forward when everything feels overwhelming.

And here's another thing about t IT isn't just a break. It's what keeps you going. One of those go to comfort for me, the starbucks frapped o drink, to prove just how comforting a sip of a starbucks rapino drink can be.

Starbucks s created the comfort index is a fun experiment that measured emotional reactions to things that most people find comforting. They have three volunteers, and starbucks was able to compare how much comfort the rapino brought them in comparison to other comforting activities. Later in this episode, i'm going to share the results of how the frappe o measures up to getting a hug petty, a pony popping bubble rap.

And I think you're going to be surprised to see where the rapper ino drink lands and the comfort scale, I sure was. So if you are looking for an easy way to bring more comfort into your day, look no further. Watch the full comfort index experiments on the starbucks youtube channel at youtube dot com size starbucks.

Each friend male, I am so excited that you're here. IT is always an order. Spend time with you going to be together if your brand new.

Welcome to the melrose in's broadcast family. You know, I know you're the type of person that values your time, and you're also interested in learning about ways you can improve your life. I love that.

And so I want you to know that I think it's really cool that you chose to spend your time listening to the exact podcast that is going to help you do both of those things. So like I was telling you earlier, you know, we moved our sun oakly into fresh winner of college, and there was this moment where we were about to leave. And all the sudden he pulls out his childhood blanket, which at this point is basically a bunch of threads of fabric.

And his beloved teddy and I was so moved by this moment, right before we were about to leave, where he took teddy in blanky out, and he put them right front and center on his bed, in front of his pillows. He didn't stick behind the pillows. He didn't stuff in in a draw. He proudly displayed these two things that he cares about right there. And the moment really struck me, and I think IT struck me for two reasons.

The first one, of course, is, you know, I can remember when he was tme and he be dragon, these two things around and know i've ever seen a kid that has a stuff, animal or blanket and their like almost bigger than the kid like they're going to felt that I just remember I was like yesterday and now he's six foot like cash, six foot one and he's put them up on his lofted bed and thinking, oh my gosh, s my little guy like an noising college and now these two little things that he was dragging around or go to school with them. And so I had this whole moment about how time is like a melting ice cube, and it's just going so fast. And I hate that.

But the second thing that struck me is how much he cares about these two things. And what that represents, and what IT represents, is this deep power of simple things that bring you comfort. And that's we're going to talk about in this episode. And i'm going to use the story of oakly in these two objects and some of the things that bring me comfort. And I invite you to think about all kinds of ways that you can bring the power of simple comforts into your data life.

And as you listen to the story, and as we unpack some of the science we're going to bring in a really well renowned psychiatrist from harvard that you're gonna love, we're going to talk about the research on what's actually happening when you seek out comfort intentionally, and why this is important. And we're going to tack this from two levels. The first thing that you and are going to talk about is what comfort provides in your life, what's happening in your brain, when you have things in your life that bring your comfort.

And IT could be anything, absolutely anything, that could be rituals that you do that bring you comfort. At the beginning or end of the day, IT could be a particular object. IT could be something that you see, or a sound, or a smell, or a taste.

IT could be a meal that you just love. In fact, her daughter lives in los Angeles. And whenever SHE comes home to southern mont, there is a particular meal that he really wants me to cook.

In fact, come to think of IT just this morning, SHE to me and asked me for this chilly recipe that I make. why? Because IT brings her comfort. And the second thing that we're going to dig into, and this blew my mind when I was researching this topic, to be able to have this conversation with you, that you and I know that you need to push yourself out your comfort zone.

I'm showing up here all the time talking about the importance of taking risks, growing, stretching, the fact that you are designed to push through your fears and your excuses and learn new things and try new things. But here's what I didn't realize, but I didn't realize is how important IT is when you push yourself out of your comfort zone to actually intentionally come back and drop into your comfort one, that there is this a central partnership between stretching yourself and actually using a moment of comfort to reset yourself and help yourself stretch again. And i'm gna share a lot about the things that bring me comfort throughout the episode.

And since you're the kind of person that really wants to enjoy your life, i'm gonna vite you right now to start to think about all the little things around you that bring you come for two, and you maybe even take them for granted, like I did. You and I are just gonna take this highlighter or going to highlight what's already around you, the things that you already love and the importance of being intentional about the value that they bring to your daily life. And the first set of things that I thought about, as I was thinking to myself, for what brings me comfort, you know, what is that, that I would pack if I were going through some major life transition, like college and IT struck me.

There is a whole set of things that I take with me when I travel, that bring me comfort. Like, for example, I have this base scarf. It's this big kind of shaw thing.

And I was given to me by a bunch of students in one of the courses that I teach online. This things got to be like six years old at this point. I take IT everywhere.

I never travel without IT. And IT has so many holes in IT. You would think that a bunches of moths just took up residents inside this thing and had a party, and at this point is so tattered.

I'm nervous that if I keep using IT, it's gonna rip right in half. And so what i've started doing is, instead of wearing IT, I now pack IT in my Carry on, and I wear a different scarf. I have a bell buckle that Chris gave me, and i've had this thing for like a decade.

I think you had a made online. And the bell buckle is really cool, is probably three inches long. And an anti and IT has a black and White photo, that of our kids.

But here's the catch. The photo is a really old photo. IT was taken when oakley, who's nineteen, was a baby, and sawyer, who is our oldest.

She's now twenty five. She's probably seven in this photo. And candle, who is now twenty four SHE, was six years old.

And every single time I travel and every time I get on a stage, give a key, no speech, I wear that belt. People always come on whenever I wear IT without failed. Oh my gosh, I love that belt.

Where did you get IT are those your kids and then I point to, I go, yeah, she's twenty five and he's nineteen and she's twenty four and you know what? I love this belt because it's the best way to travel with your kids. Gets a laugh every time.

And the reason why I love this belt so much is that IT makes me feel like my kids are with me. And that brings me a sense of comfort. And that's not all that I take when I travel. Over the years, i've traveled around, especially around the united states, and i've been giving keynote addresses at all these big corporate events.

People come up to me and they give me little momentous, that means something to them that bring them comfort, and they give me these deeply personal things as a thank you for the impact that my work is made on that, whether it's the five second rule or the let them theory, or the high five habit or these podcast episodes. And so i've started to take these little just, and I put him in my suitcase. I have medians that signify somebody y's a brief.

I have response that attributes to people that died. I have a profound actually from a woman that gave IT to me. IT was her mother's proved. And he gave IT to me as a thank you because he had been really struggling with. And SHE listen to something that we had put out on the podcast. And IT gave her the ability to start to the clutter, the horn, to get rid of things and herbs to give me this, which was a sign of her growth and change. And so all of these little objects now sit right in my suitcase.

And every time I open IT up, whether i'm here in southern vermont and i'm packing IT and i'm getting ready to go away on a trip, or i'm in a hotel room and i'm unpacking things in my hotel room, when I see all these little objects, I feel like you with me, and i'm reminded of the impact of everything that i'm doing. And that makes me feel less lonely when i'm traveling and i'm on the road. And for years i've been doing this, and i've been thinking to myself always via deal.

I've got my scar and I got my belt. I've got my stuff in my suitcase. But IT is a big deal. IT turns out, based on the research, is a very big deal.

Things like teddy and blanket, they not only give you comfort, according to the research, comfort is essential for helping you create a Better life, which is what you and I are gonna dig deep into. In this podcast, I looked into the definition of comfort so that we could all just start with the same baseline understanding of what this word means. Comfort is a state of physical ease and freedom.

Freedom from what? Freedom from stress, freedom from, like the things that are ranging you down, things that bring you comfort, are positive, amazing things. It's like you see IT and your stress, for the moment disappears.

There's not a single thing that you would say that brings you comfort, that is gonna stressed. It's the opposite, right? It's recharging.

You feel this refueling and this sort of like powering up that happens. And comfort in that regard gives you the strength to face life chAllenges. IT gives you the ability to take risks. IT can remind you of who you are. I can give you a sense of peace in the middle of the storm.

And as I was really digging into this topic of what is comfort and why is that so important in our day to day life and how is IT that IT makes you stronger as a person? I just kept thinking about OK and how when we dropped him off, you know, I wasn't surprised, honestly, that he brought blanky and tedy along, but I was surprised about how he displayed them so proudly, front and center, no shame, no embarrassment. He didn't stuff him in the door.

He didn't hide them on the top of the closet. He didn't cramb on behind his pillows. And nobody would see. Oh, no way.

He put in front and center there was no doubt his mind that blank and tedy, we're going to go to college with them. In fact, when you walk into his dorm room, his bed is right there in front of the door. They are the very first thing that you will see when you go into his room.

And when I thought about IT, this wasn't just some random choice on his part. He was intentional. He was bringing a piece home with them, something predictable, something familiar, something that brings him comfort.

Doesn't that make a lot of sense when you stop and think about IT? But you wanna was really fascinating about this is that by oakly placing blanky and tedy on his bed just like they were here at home, this isn't just some cute child dest gesture. This was his brain's way of saying, everything's okay, you're safe here.

That's what comfort rituals do. They ground you. They bring predictability in moments of chaos.

And it's the exact same thing when I really stop and think about IT that I feel when I open up my cool case. And I mean, yet another hotel room alone. IT brings the sense of peace, and IT makes me feel Better.

I could remember when oakly was little. In fact, I remember when he got blanky entity. Blanky was this beautiful gift from all of my girlfriends. We are all reason, our kids at the same time, in this great little town outside of boston, massachuset, and they'd had a monogram with his name, oak on IT, made, even bought blank from our friend Caroline, who at the time had this little chunk k show business for SHE, was selling kids clothing.

And so I was this deeply meaningful give for my friends that was there for him, waiting for him when we brought him home from the hospital. And you wanna what black has been with OK every step of the way? Seriously, when he was little in a car seat, I would tuck blanky around him in his car seat.

And when he started to walk, he would drag that sucker, ross, the ground everywhere he went. In fact, if I hit that thing with blue light, I am not sure what the heck we would find on that thing. But sure, I would be disgusting, even though I wash IT every chance I can.

Rip IT from a IT was not only the blanket, but the actual ritual of touching IT that brought him comfort. And when he was little and he was nervous, he would just rob the ends of IT. Now I bet this is making you think about yourself and what you may be dead with a banker, or what you saw your kids or your brother, your sister do.

And now is when he is just frayed all around the edges. And this little rubbing thing, it's called textile grounding. There's no doubt in my mind that the science is very real about how powerful this is.

And teddy, probably even more meaningful, because after oak was born, he had this life threatening thing happened to him when he was five days old, and he had to be rushed by ambuLance to mash general hospital in boston. They admitted him to the nicu. And IT turned out that he had been born with this disease called harsher g's disease, which basically means parts of his Colin and his testings weren't working.

We were so lucky that we caught IT before his in testing ruptured, which would have killed them. So he was a mass general for thirty days in the nicko, having surgeries on his plummet. And teddy was in the nickel in the crib within the entire time.

So these two tedium blanky, they have vent ox companions on the road life for nineteen years. And by bringing them to college, he wasn't holding onto his childhood. He was doing something more, more powerful, something that you and I need to do. He was creating comfort in a brand new environment as space is unfamiliar, stressful and unpredictable. And I want to stay here for a moment longer, because I was so interested in this moment and the level of comfort that blank and tidy provide oak that I call him.

And I asked him to explain in his words what, what is your relationship to teach him blanket, what emotions do you feel and how do they bring you comfort? So he recorded his answers to those questions in his dorm room for you. Let's take a listen.

Hello everyone. Hello mom. I hope you're doing well in my college dorm, big called kid. And my mom asked me what is comforting to me, and I don't know he told you yet, but I have to important stuffed animals that I have owned and that I deeply care about. Their names are blank and teddy, they're not very original names.

But you know, what are you going to do? And anyways, they're very important to me because they have done with me my whole life. They remind me of home like everything about them reminds me of home like they are smell and they're feeling.

And just like the the emotion that IT brings up with IT, i'll start with with teddy and teddy. Teddy is great. He used to be very fluffy and very cool.

Y, but all the phone is like you can there's no phone in the top of the Marks, only in the bottom. And it's very like carrots, probably as ears are both been, like, chewed off. His face has been shown together, red and familiar.

I know that this is a sense of familial, just because I ve had teddy for my whole entire life, and that is a great feeling. And then this is the rag. This is blank.

I this, this like this. This White cloth used to be the full front of IT, but I ripped IT off over time. Every single corner is like more and grows, and like lintie and everything.

These are growth. Like, they should not like, cool. Like, I mean, they are call to me and they mean a lot to me. However, I still put them up on my bed and I put them out for the world to see because I have, because there's there's no shame. There's no shame that .

I just love that he said he cares about these two things and that he put him up on his bed. And there's no shame. And this is a very important thing to expand upon because you and I are so hard driving.

I mean, you listen to this podcast because you want to improve your life and you value your time and I do to and you're looking for ways to do that. And I know you're probably thinking, ml, you going to say I got going to take a stuff to animal to work. You know what the heck? I'm not saying that, but I really want you to think about this in moments of chAllenge, in moments of stress, in moments of major life changes, or in moments where you're in a completely new place.

What do you immediately want to do? You want to try to comfort yourself. One of the first things I do, if i'm in a new environment, is I want to try to make you feel more countable, more like my home.

And think about the way home. Home is a place where you feel safe. And by the way, comfort is not just about childhood items, not at all.

It's about creating small moments of comfort in your everyday life. Maybe for you, that means a smell of your favorite candle when you get home. Maybe it's this cozy blanket that you throw over your lap when you reading a book, or you're watching T, V, or maybe it's petty.

Your dog, I mean, that makes you feel warm and cozy, doesn't IT. These little moments aren't just comfort their essential. So let me ask you, what is your version of monkey entity right now? What is comforting to you? I shared about my shot, my belt and some of the things that are in my suitcase.

But holy cow, and I really highlight these comforting moments, or these little then yet in my mind, that make me just drop in. When life gets overwhelming, there's gotto be things in your life that you're now starting to think about. You've got this blanket that you love.

You have this tea that you love to drink. You love the sound of something when life feels overwhelming, when something is new, or when you're exhausted, or you just feel like you wana, what's that word? Nest a little bit.

Just struggle in what is that that you reach for, mean, that could be as simple as a clean, organized space or that quiet moment. Or you just sit down at the end of the day and you breathe for a second or a favorite window that you look out of and these small comfort send signals to your brain, let's say, hey, it's okay. Things are under control, helping you to stay grounded in focus.

But years of apart, this is all wired into your brain circuitry and nervous system already. Every time you experience something familiar, like seeing blanky or taking a sip of your favorite drink, you know what happens your brain's dopamine pathways later. And dopamine, i'm sure it's a word you're familiar with, but if not, it's a neurotransmitter.

Fancy word just plays a key role in how we experience pleasure, motivation and reward. And when you engage in comforting, which uses your brain, releases doping, which tells you, hey, this feels good. Seat and blanky feels good.

Sync chunder, my banket feels good. Spend some time. How can my dog feels good? Keep doing this.

This isn't just like a feel good thing every day. This is a tool you can use to help you move through major changes in life. Because just think about oak when he comes back into his dorm room. And the first thing he sees is the blanket and teddy, his brain releases open me that feel good, chemical and its signals, everything fine, just a little bit of comfort you can drop in. Everything's fine.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed or anxious, or you got way too much going on a worker, school or life, remember, little comfort items or rituals are working on a deep biological level to help you feel grounded right now. And when your brain is in that calm, familiar space, IT is Better equipped to handle the bigger chAllenges that you're facing in life right now. So that brings me back to kind of a huge take away and why I really want you and I to get more intentional about this topic, because comfort just isn't about relaxation.

That is just the icing on the cake. The real juicy part of IT is that it's your brain's way of creating stability, focus and strength to help you through life. What is that thing that creates comfort for you? Do you have something in mind?

Is a place that you stop on the way home from work that brings you comfort? Is a place that you stop on your way to school that brings you comfort? Maybe there's a photo of your family on your desk or some figuring a romantic or favorite mud that brings you comfort at work.

It's not about the thing. It's truly about cultivating the feeling inside yourself. and. Activating this resource inside your body. You know, I I don't care that about the fact that my scarf looks ridiculous. I drag that thing everywhere with me.

I love thinking about my scarf that way, because IT truly elevates this stuff in your life from something childish to something that is essential to your happiness, your mental health, your sense of grounding and your safety and life. And the second reason why I love this is because people don't care what brings you cover. You think they care, but they don't care.

In fact, when I said, oh, you know, are you nervous about all these new people walking in your room? You've never met them before and you're going to see that you have teddy and blanket on your bed. This is what he had to say about .

that there's no one walking in to the dorm and looking at them and going on, my god, you're such a child and that's so weird. Because people understand the importance of comfort. And especially in a place like college where you don't have your Normal sense of comfort, you don't have your own bedroom, you don't have your old friends, your family, you don't have the things that you love and know. It's important to have things that are comforting, like soft animals. I would just like to say that if there is something in your life that is comforting and you feel like you cannot be without IT.

then be with IT. Did you hear that last line? So good. If there is something in your life that brings you comfort and you can't live without IT, be with IT. And there's zero shame in IT. And what I also loved about what oakly was reflecting on is that nobody cares, because everybody understands the power of things that bring you.

So whatever IT is that you need, whether it's in your suitcase or on your way to work, or on your way to school or on your way home, at the end of the day, whatever IT is that brings you comfort, be with IT and truly understand the power in owning that and providing that for yourself. And one of the things that I love about digging into this topic is that elevate and highlights the importance of creating these moments and being aware of this for yourself. The more deliver you are about the power of simple data comforts, the more powerful you're gonna.

And if that's not reason enough to get serious about this topic, I wanna take this even a step further and talk about the baLance that is necessary between comfort zones and pushing yourself, add of your comfort song and the necessity of knowing when you need to drop into your comfort zone. There is a relationship between your ability to take risks in life and the need for you to come back to something that is comforting in order to refuel and reset yourself. And the research around this is super interesting.

Here's, I want you to think about the relationship between things of comfort and the need to push yourself out of your comfort zone, because they work together. So think about yourself almost like a rubber band, right? And you know how a rubber band IT can stretch out and then, boom, you let go and IT goes right back and resets every single time in life.

When you stretch yourself, whether you're going through a big life change like oakley going through right now at college and i'm going through a big life change because we're now empty nesters, or whether you're going through a big life change because you're taking on a new job or maybe you're going through a breakup or whatever IT may be as you stretch through this new change because as a change does, you IT stretches you and IT stretches you because you're having to learn new behaviors, new, newer pathway. And as you're learning all these new patterns and behaviors and pathways in your life and stretch yourself as you push through this chAllenge and IT could be any kind of chAllenge. IT could be a physical chAllenge.

IT could be a creative project that you're working on every time you stretch. Do you need to think about that rubberband and how a rubber band stretches? And then I want you to remember there's always that moment where IT retracts and resets.

You're the exact same way. If you stretch continuously, you snap and break, you have to reset. The human brain, body and spirit has to have this moment of refuel and reset after you stretch yourself.

And this is all based done, fascinating research about how your brain works, about habits reform, how you learn new information, how your body resets itself. IT is well documented that you have a need to refuel and reset. And that's where the power of simple comforts come in.

So up next we're gona dig into that research. I think you're going to find IT. absolutely.

I know I did, but let's take a quick break right now and hear a few words from our sponsor of today's episode, starbuck rapid chino drink. Earlier, I mention the starbucks comfort experiment, and here are the details. So starbucks wanted to see just how comforting the frac ino drink really is.

So they got super creative, and they launched something called the comfort index. It's a one of a kind social experiment where they stacked the rapa cino against some of the most univerSally comforting things that you can think of. And three volunteers were asked to try out four different activities known to provide comfort.

Padding a pony. Seriously, who wouldn't love padding a pony popping bubble rap? Another thing I enjoy doing that's incredibly satisfying, hugging a loved one and sipping a starbucks rapino drink while they were doing these activities.

Check this. They wear headsets that recorded their brain activity, which is linked to key metrics like excitement, relaxation and focus. So how did the frapper chino fair in this comfort showdown? IT came in second, right behind, hugging a loved one.

And honestly, not much beats a hug. But the fact of the rapid ino rank so high IT just cause to show you how a little treat can bring serious comfort to your day. Starbucks for rapino drink really is comfort in a bottle. Now this wasn't a clinical study or anything.

IT was three participants and the results might vary, but it's still a really cool reminder that sometimes, in fact, I think almost all the time, it's just the small things like your favorite drink that can make all the difference when life gets busy. And you know, the power of feeling comfort in your day. Watch the full comfort index experiments on the starbucks youtube channel at youtube dot com seh x and grab a starbucks, grab pino drink at a store near you.

You and I spend a lot of time talking about pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, learning how to take those big risks to change your life, like applying for that big job or going out to dinner to that nice restaurant alone, trying improve, asking that personal, sharing a message or a personal story on social media, auditioning for orchestra as an adult, taking a ball and dancing class, asking someone to mentor you any time you do something out of your comfort zone. Remember that rubber band is stretching and you're designed to do that. And let's face IT growth doesn't happen when you're just coasting along, comfortable in your routine, doing the same old, same old and is so easy to just default to what you always do, what's familiar and never stretch yourself like that rubber band in your life.

But here's the part that you and I don't talk about enough. You can't be in push mode all the time. You can't be stretched all the time.

You know what we call IT. When you stretched all the time, it's called burnout. That's not over talking about here.

We're tied about the fact that you I baLance, i'm always going to push you to stretch. I'm always going to push you to take that risk. I'm always gone to push you out, your comfort out.

And today I am reminding you that resetting and allowing yourself to drop in and rest and feel comfort IT is just as important as the stretch because they go hand in hand, just like when you're building a muscle in the gym, you can't just pump twenty four hours a day. You have to rest IT after a workout. And you want to know really interesting fact about this.

As you think about a robberman watching and then bouncing back in the shape, do you wanted know when you lock in new habits and memories and you actually lock in learning, it's not why you're stretching and you're practicing the new habits or you're studying the new material or you're doing the new skill, you actually look IT in while you're sleeping. Doesn't happen when you're awake, doesn't happen when you're stretching. IT happens when you're comfortable.

IT happens when you're resting. See, you are designed to go through periods of stretching, but then you need a period of rest and comfort so you can refuel. And you want to know the best ways to refuel. It's to come back to something that gives you comfort.

And when I think about my own life, one of the things that has always given me comfort, when i'm going through a stressful time, or i'm stretching myself and am out over the tips of my skis, and I needs france, I call my parents. How many times have you called home for some comfort, or just to hear someone's voice? You know, this is true.

And if your parents are no longer here, i'm sure you wish they were, because you know the power of being able to see them or talk to them, and you can feel the comfort that IT brings you. And there's more to this than just knowing that what I am saying is true. IT reminds me of one of my favorite things, that world runne ned, harvard psychiatrist doctor Robert wallinger, said on this podcast.

In fact, he's one of the most popular experts to ever appear on the l robb's podcast. And I want to place something that he said for you. IT relates to the topic of comfort and our ability to stretch and the critical need for us to also recent. So you're about to hear doctor Walker talking about how, as human beings, you and I wired to bond to other people, and we naturally seek out other people in moments where we want to be comforted. Take a listen to a doctor world singer set on this podcast.

We all bond when we're babies, when we're tiny. We bond to caregivers. And that if the bonding goes well, we end up believing that we are lovable and that there's somebody there to love us and that when we believe those things, we grow up happy and we grow up brave enough to explore the world, right?

Because there's a home base we can come back to. So sometimes you'll see on a playground, you'll see a parent with a two year old and the two year old totals off, and then at some point they'll run back and they will grab. The parents leg is sometimes called refueling, where they are reminded, oh yeah, yes, yeah, yeah, home base.

And then they'll tell off again and then they're run back for that kind of momentary read refueling, right? We think that that's something we need all the way through life. So how do I take a risk in my life? You may have someone in your life, maybe it's your spouse. And if you start to take a risk like starting a new podcast, you might run to buy him and say, what do you think do you think I could do this? And we need somebody to say, it's okay and i'm here even if he doesn't go well, i've got you back.

I love that. Don't you love this notion of refueling and the fact that what is actually talking about is the power of comfort. And you can refuel not just by connecting with other people.

You can refuel by connecting with teddy Blanche, a photo of your family, a favourite place that you love to stop on a particular drive. And you can also by connecting with yourself. And I wanna tell you about my friend amy, he is a producer on this podcasting, lives here in southern vermont.

And every single morning, SHE walks out a front door and walks a core mile down the road and across the bridge and down to this river, where SHE does a cold plunge every single morning. And this is an important nuance, because comfort didn't always have to be warm and cozy. Sometimes the things that you wouldn't expect can bring a surprising sense of comfort, like a cold lunch.

Now, at first chance, IT kind of seems like the opposite, like, oh my god, cold water. I don't think that sounds like comforting in ordeal, but the controlled discomfort of something like a cold plunge or a cold shower activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which can review you feeling incredibly calm afterwards. And this has become a super cool and comforting rural that amy does every single morning.

SHE leaves her house. SHE walks down the road. SHE crosses the bridge.

SHE walks into this little park where there is a beautiful winding river, and then SHE goes to the same rock. SHE pulls off her switcher. SHE pulls off her short.

She's intercepted suit. She's got her water shoes on. SHE then walks right in, and then he screams to a poor husband.

Tim started the timing for three minutes, and sometimes when she's in the water he cries, sometimes SHE shivers, sometimes like he was telling me this morning SHE crotches way down and SHE watches the river from a frog I view, just taking IT all then. And this morning the leaves were passing her by because it's fall appearing for month. Doesn't IT sound absolutely amazing.

You don't come to think of IT. I gonna come do this with you, amy. We should do a special episode about IT and film IT, like how you do a cold plunge and all the protocols.

And you'll see for yourself that the ritual is what's comforting. And all the while I am explaining, amy is probably been in the river the entire time, just dropping into the cold water and finding comfort in IT. And then all of a sudden her husband says, done.

And I know what you're wondering, does her husband tim ever do? IT, no, i'll tell you why, because IT doesn't bring him comfort, and that's also important. What brings you comfort is personal to you.

For amy, this is as much about taking a moment for herself as IT is anything else? IT helps her relax, recharge, prepare for the day ahead. That's her comforrable ual and IT makes all the difference.

And just like doctor wallinger painted this beautiful picture of a child that runs into a playground, that's like that rubber band stretching, right, the child running into the playground. And then what does the child do? Resets and comes back to the caregiver to review.

It's a safe place. It's comforting, which allows you to stretch again. Aim is doing the exact same thing by starting her day, knowing that the day is gonna be a whole creative production stretch.

SHE goes into that river like a child goes to a parent to refuel so that she's ready to go stretch her herself again. Don't you? To solve that visual, I love that visual of a child running into a playground and then coming back to a caregiver.

I love that visual of a rubber stretching, just like you do as you grow and you take risks and you reach for all the things in life that you want to experience. And I have the exact same visual now vote. I can just see him.

He's out and about his walk around camps in classes. His plane sports is taking IT all in. And that's him stretching in this new phase of his life.

And then what's waiting for him like the river is waiting for amy, and the caregiver is waiting for the child. Teddy and blanky are waiting for him. This is so much bigger that a reminder of home. It's an intentional act of refueling. I've taking care of yourself, of supporting yourself.

And when you look at IT that way, right? How cool is this small things in your day to day life that really do matter? And those are my favorite kind of things, these little, little things that are so profoundness powerful.

And now i'm sure you're sitting here thinking about all your favorite things to drink. And your favorite things to do is a ritual and things from your childhood. So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, think about what brings you comfort.

Maybe it's a person, maybe it's a place that you stop. Maybe it's something that you eat or music that you play. I'm now realizing that the ritual of taking a bath every single night before I go to bed IT brings me comfort. It's something that I do after stretching myself all day that helps me refuel. And I love this topic so much that I was out to dinner the other night with a bunch of the amazing people that are on our team here at the melt Robin's podcast, I was talking about the fact that are doing this super cold topic.

And so I ask them the same question that i've asked you, what is IT that brings you comfort? And as we went around the dinner table, IT was so fun to hear everybody's responses, and I wanted to share what some of our team members said, because they inspired red me to think more about what's right in front of my face. no.

And getting more intentional about seeing what's right there is something that is a powerful tool in my life. And I know that as you hear me share them with you, it's gonna widen the appeared on what you see and help you create more intentional moments of comfort and refueling in your life. So for my daughter sowar, who is managing the launch of my brand new book, the let them theory, which comes out in january, it's all about eating sour grapes.

I have no idea why I cannot eat a sour grape. To save my life, I pop a sour grape, my mouth, and it's like my construction, and I do not like IT. But every time SHE pops the sour grave in her mouth, boom.

SHE gets away of comfort. Simple sensory experience bomb. There is the joy, and as such as food.

For example, one of my business partner, David, it's the smell of freshly mode grass. That one got a lot. Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yes. For my other business partner, Christine, oh my god, he was so cute. He described this feelings. They have this couch that has, you know, how some countries have like that l thing or somebody gets its always the promotion spot on anyone's culture, right? Because it's the one that has the shades piece for your feet can go up that's her spot, her spot on the couch.

And when it's after dinner and everybody has run into that couch there, two australian shepherds, dark tower that chase part of the couch, they jump up because they're waiting for Christ to climb on so they can climb on top of her and they get into their place. That's comfort. That's refueling for executive producer Tracy library.

This is a really common one. There's something about the smell of old books combined with that feeling of member olding a library card, and that sense of discovery when you walk into a library that is a refuel for her in moments of stretching SHE walk into a library and just feel like herself so beautiful, right? That creates this moment of peace and you wanna know something else.

I kid you not, there's a person on this team who when I told the team that we were partners with starbucks s for raptor o drink and we were going to do this episode with them about comfort, he legit lost his mind. He goes, you have got to be kidding, and went on and on and on about how was the first time ever that he had tasted coffee. He loves going into a gas station and opening up the glass door and getting the drink and pop in the lid.

And there's just something about the pop that brings them cover. I thought, oh my god, this is unbelievable. And the second that he said, IT, i'm thinking, what are the odds that somebody would fr real authentically say that pops out is a sound that brings him comfort, that just makes me go.

And that triggered a moment of comfort for me. And you want to know what my moment of comfort is. It's when the stars online. It's when there are these magical connections that you just can't could explain when IT feels like the universe is going. Ding, ding, ding, you're in the right place at the right time.

I want to tell you some when i'm stretching like crazy and I get one of those signs from the universe, unlike bomb, I am refused. Thank you very much. And as we SAT there around the table after a long day work, as we were watching ourselves, one thing is very clear, the things that we find confident, they don't embarrassed at all, because they bring you so much joy. And there is power and embracing IT. And that brings me back to the heart of what oakly wanted to say to you.

And so before I sign off and I let you guys get back to my mother, who was amazing, and we all love, I love you, mom. I would just like to say that the the stuff, the animals, your cozy photos on your wall, your weird trinkets from childhood, they're all comforting, they're all special. And you should feel no shame, because there is nothing wrong with something in your life that will bring you comfort and that will bring you joy.

And so moving forward in life, I fully encourage you to hold on to those comforting things regardless. Hold onto them, treat them with respect, keep them in your life. Until the very last moment, I like, I sort god, I will keep lane until he is like a singular threat of string and even then i'll probably just like, frame him in my bedroom is an at all same thing with teddy like both of these will stay with me forever until they can no longer be with me because IT brings me joy.

I love you guys. Have an amazing day. You are loved. I love you and I love your comfort. I love what brings you guys comfort.

Can you tell I got a huge file on my face because I just realized one more thing, that is a massive refueling in a moment of comfort, and that any time you hear someone say they love you, when every time you hear IT IT just refuels your soul doesn't IT IT sure does for me. So in case no one else tells you today, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to change your life.

And that's gonna require you to not only stretch yourself, but it's gona require you to reset and refuel. And now, you know, the surprising and powerful science of how simple data day comforts help you do that. And I just want to say thank you again to starbuck for pechina drink for sponsoring this episode.

But it's always good to push yourself at your comfort zone. It's also good to take time to see comfort, because who doesn't want more comfort these days? Starbucks, in their fun and lighter and social experiment, showed us a whole new way to find comfort through their starbucks rapa cino drink.

As you heard earlier, the creamy, delicious rapper o drink really is comfort in a bottle. Starbucks was more than happy to take second place in the experiment. The best part, finding comfort is super convenient. The starbucks raptor drink is available grocery stores yp by their national retailers. You know which ones i'm talking about, convenience stores and gas stations.

They're always lined up right behind that big glass door, and nothing is Better than grabbing one of these fp patch ino drinks and a glass bottle moke us, my favorite, and taking IT on the road with you. You can also grab IT online or groceries or sold, watch the full comfort index on the starbucks s youtube channel at youtube dot coms like starbucks, and grab a starbucks rapa chino drink at a store near you. ready? Yeah, I great.

Okay, here we go. I love that and that I love that. And let me try that one more time.

Oh, my lord, I can see. That sounds like magic. I was that okay? Moments of comfort bring on my word. Oh, oh, god, that is so good. That is so good.

Oh, and one more thing I know, this is not a blue per. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers right? And what I need to to you.

This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licence therapies, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified professional. Got IT good. I'll see in the next episode stitcher.