cover of episode 5 Signs Of An Incompatible Relationship & 3 Signs You’ve Found “The One”

5 Signs Of An Incompatible Relationship & 3 Signs You’ve Found “The One”

2024/12/2
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Mel Robbins在播客中探讨了人们在感情中常会遇到的一个问题：这段关系是否合适？她指出，人们常常会因为执着于潜力、价值观不符或只关注次要方面而做出错误的选择。她介绍了一种名为ABC循环法的关系评估工具，该方法包括道歉、提问、观察行为、赞扬和模仿改变等步骤，可以帮助人们判断伴侣是否愿意成长，以及这段关系是否值得继续。她还强调，人们只能在感觉合适的时候才会改变，强迫他人改变只会适得其反。在处理伴侣忽视自身健康或核心价值观冲突等问题时，ABC循环法可以帮助人们找到解决问题的途径，并最终做出是否结束关系的决定。她还指出，69%的关系问题是无法解决的，需要学习如何接受伴侣的现状。最终，她鼓励人们相信自己的直觉，寻找一个愿意倾听和一起努力的伴侣，并强调一段好的关系需要双方互相尊重、关爱和倾听。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why is it important to question compatibility in a relationship?

Questioning compatibility helps identify whether a relationship is bringing out the best in you and if both partners want the same things. It's crucial for long-term happiness and mutual support.

What are the three major mistakes people make in relationships?

1) Chasing potential instead of accepting reality. 2) Not aligning on core values and dreams. 3) Focusing on the 20% 'nice to have' traits while ignoring the 80% that truly matters.

How can the ABC loop method help in resolving relationship issues?

The ABC loop involves apologizing and asking open-ended questions (A), backing off and observing behavior (B), and celebrating small changes (C). It helps create a non-pressured environment for change and reveals a partner's willingness to grow.

Why is it crucial to accept a partner as they are in a relationship?

Acceptance fosters a healthier dynamic where partners feel safe and respected. Pressuring someone to change creates resistance and tension, which can harm the relationship.

What percentage of relationship issues are unresolvable according to research?

69% of issues in relationships are unresolvable. These are often minor, recurring conflicts that couples need to learn to manage and accept.

How can planning a trip together benefit a relationship?

Planning a trip boosts happiness in the present and creates shared, meaningful memories. It signifies that spending quality time together is a priority and can deepen the connection.

Chapters
Mel Robbins discusses the agonizing question of whether one is in the right relationship and reveals three mistakes people make that either keep them with the wrong person or end a good relationship.
  • The importance of asking whether you are with the right person.
  • Three common mistakes people make in relationships.
  • The need for courage and conviction to end a relationship that doesn't feel right.

Shownotes Transcript

In this episode, you will learn the requirements of a good relationship – and the signs your relationship may not go the distance.

If you’re wondering if someone is “the one” and you’re not sure if you should end things, you’ll get the answer today.

And if you’re struggling through a rough patch in your relationship and want tools and tips on how to make it better, Mel is sharing that as well.

Today, you’re getting the skills you need for any healthy romantic relationship.

Whether you’re in the early stages of dating, committed for years, or simply curious about your compatibility, this episode will give you the tools to navigate love with confidence.

Get a copy of Mel’s new book, The Let Them Theory), which she mentions in this episode.

For more resources, including links to the studies mentioned in the episode, click here) for the podcast episode page.

If you liked this episode, and want to hear a very candid conversation with Mel and her husband Chris about their 28 year marriage, listen to this episode next: How To Create Better Relationships: 6 Surprising Lessons From 28 Years Of Marriage)

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