3 Truths You Need to Hear: The Best Expert Advice to Unlock Your Potential
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Hey, each friend male and welcome to the male robbin's broadcast. You know, the other day I read this passage quoting the brutal is so beautiful. I want to share with you what you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create.

It's so true. And I not only wanted to share IT with you, but I really wanted to talk with you about that first part, what you think you become. In fact, let's just break that a part a little bit.

See what you think becomes what you actually say to yourself everyday. And what you say to yourself everyday becomes what you do and what you don't do. And what you do in life is who you become.

Well, today i'm gna reveal three lies that you think you're true about yourself. And these are lies that you probably tell yourself every single day. And these lies that you think, and that you say to yourself, they impact what you're doing and what you're not doing, and that impacts what's possible in your life.

And so today, one by one, i'm gonna reveal these three lies. And i'm going to tell you is the truth, the truth about who you are and the truth of about what you can do and what you're capable of and the truth about who you are meant to become. Omega is an incredible sponsor of the mall robs forecast, and they are also our exclusive insurance partner.

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Age your friend mall I am so excited that you're here. Hear with me, it's always such an honor to get spend some time and to be together. And if you ran new, welcome to the male rob's podcast family. Now I know you're the type of person who values your time, and you're interested in learning about ways you can improve your life. I absolutely love that you're gonna love our conversation today, because today we're going to talk about the importance of the things that you say to yourself and how the things that you say turn into who you become.

And have you ever had an experience in life, maybe even on a sports team, or you've had a mentor, there's somebody that you really look up to and all of a sudden they call you out on your B. S. And you maybe you write about some and they're like that's not true or maybe you've done that with somebody that you love. I know I do that with my kids all the time when they start IT and down on themselves on the first one to be like that, not true or when your spouses in a funk or a friend of yours, I just can't cut over the break up and then down and forever but you see the truth about who this person that you love truly is at the core and you know when somebody y's selling themselves a lie, right, i'll never find love again.

I'll never lose the weight, never find another job, I can get good grades, nobody likes me and when you see somebody that you love and they say they was kind of lizer to themselves, you like, that's not through in fact, if you're like me, you you can not a man and don't you you're like me, you just stop trashing yourself like that. Will you just see what I see when you just dust yourself off? Well, today i'm gonna doing that with you because there are these three lies that you've been telling yourself, you pride.

Don't realize you're doing this. And when I think about you, sit there line to yourself like this, honestly, IT makes me mad. And let me tell you why IT makes me mad. IT makes me mad because I can see you're the one shutting the door on your own potential.

You don't realize the power of what you think and say to yourself as you're sit in there, shut in the door and your dreams and i'm what's possible and when your friend my robs, i'm not having IT, I see something so much bigger for you. And IT starts with you changing what you think and what you say to yourself. And you wanted know why I was inspired to do this.

I was inspired to do this because recently we have had so many amazing conversations, like on the podcast. And if you a brand new listener, don't you worry, don't you worry, because you are listening to the very correct, amazing episode that you should listen to for the first time. And anybody that I reference or anything you hear, it'll be in the resources just go down to the note section and you will be able to find all of the podcasts that i'm referring to.

O you're not missing anything, but you know the truth is recently people that have been on this podcast, we're talking fire, fire, come and add of their mouth and it's really made me reflect on the way that I talk to myself and the way that I I had shut the door on myself, whether it's in the past to recently and these conversations, holy cow, talk about opening up and doors. And so with the help of inspiring and world renowned experts in psychology and neuroscience and manifesting holy cow, we're going to show you the truth of who you are, of what you're capable love. So I hope you've buckled up.

I hope you are ready. I hope you've cleared your calendar, because this is a conversation that you are meant to here in this moment right now. And i'm going to serve by just kind of setting the brought as possible context for a conversation.

okay? There is a reason why this matters. IT is so damaging to light yourself, and IT is important for you to start telling yourself the truth. And this goes way deeper than common sense.

I want to introduce you to doctor James doty, who is a world pronounce stanford neurosurgeon and neuroscientist, and he's an expert on the science of manifestation. He recently told me why the lies you tell yourself have such a devastating impact on the quality of your life. And I want you ed'll listen up to what doctor duty has to say.

Often times when we tell ourselves we're not good enough, we're not worthy, we don't deserve love. We think there's some truth in that. But we have, as humans, and negativity bias, where negative statements have a tendency to stick with us.

And this leads often times to rumination. And once you tell yourself IT is not possible, I cannot. That becomes truth.

And so we create our own limited belief system. Did you hear that? I want to make sure you heard that.

Doctor doty said, this is a neuroscientist talking. Once you tell yourself IT is not possible, I cannot. That becomes your truth. Now, this is not necessarily a new idea. Doctor dote is just kind of explaining the neuroscientific foundation based on decades research.

But remember what the booze said, what you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create your thoughts and words have power. And today you're going to learn. You Better wake up and start using your words and your thoughts for good.

And where I make this really simple, what you think shapes what you say to yourself. What you say to yourself inspires what you do and don't do. And what you do every single day becomes who you are.

I mean, just think about this for many, if you wanted know what your life is gonna like five years for now, just look at what your life looks like today. What are you thinking about today? What are the lives you talking yourself today? What are the things that you're sainted? I'm not good.

Ough will never work out for me. Okay, if you keep doing that, how do you think life's onna work out for you? Is not if you keep saying you're never going to get in shape, do you think you're ever gonna the actions that are gone to change this? No, all of the actions that you take or you don't take, determine who you become.

If you want to be a different person in five years, then you Better start making some changes right now today, as you and I have in this conversation, because once you see these lies, just like you call out a lie with a friend, don't be calling lie you, so don't be lie to me like that. You got to do that with yourself line. Number one, you tell yourself you're fAiling at life.

Not true. In fact, the truth is you're well on your way. I approve of you and you've Better to start telling yourself that truth.

I am on my way. I am figuring this out line. Number two, you tell yourself you're not motivated or worse, that you're lazy and not true.

The truth is you have plenty of motivation in your brain and you're going to learn today from a world renowned ed expert, one of the biggest experts in the world, on motivation. This was a harvard trained psychiatrist who is going to prove to you and teach you how to just tap into that motivation. Got IT good because now we're online.

Number three, you're telling yourself you can change your stock. This is the most dangerous, like them on boy or boy. I have told myself that one whole changes, impossible.

Things don't work out for people like me. Guess i'm just stuck where I am. No, you're not.

Change is not only possible, here's the truth is automatic when you understand how to do IT. In fact, you're designed to do IT. I would say changing and growing is what you're meant to do.

So how about you and I dig in the line? Number one, i'm ready to tell the truth. Are you are you ready to bring the truth into your life?

Because very first lie that you are telling yourself, i'm fAiling. I'm fAiling. I used to do this too. In fact, there are days that I still catch off in that lie. I guarantee you, every single time your online on some level, you are comparing yourself to other people.

You're looking through social media, you're looking around at your friends, you're looking at your sister, your brother and or whatever, and you're sitting in there going, okay, I don't measure up, you know, you look at how they look or how they dress or how they act, and you're thinking about how much money they must be making, how much time they get to spend with their kids. And then what do you do? Oh, you pull IT back to yourself and you start bash on yourself and then you start telling yourself all kinds allies i'm fAiling.

I'm losing at the game of life. They're figuring IT out i'm totally lost their thanks for i'm a loser. Are you ready visitors? The truth is you're not fAiling.

The truth is everything that you do in life is preparing you for what comes text. You are not fAiling. You are finding your way.

That's what we're all doing. In fact, I read an entire chapter in the letham theory about this. That's called life isn't fair. Life is unfair. You're right, life is unfair.

Everybody in life is dealt to different hand and the more that you stare at the cards in someone else's hands and the more miserable you're going to be and the more you're going to say this lie that, oh, i'm fAiling at life, no, you're not and yes, why you're not actually playing against other people. You're playing with them. My says, again, you're not actually playing against other people.

Success, happiness, achievement. It's an limitless supply. Nobody can take anything that is destiny from you.

From you see, you're playing with people. You can learn how to be a Better player from people. Other river don't block the way. If you stop living yourself and saying that you're a loser, you will see that other people's success and achievement leads the way they can show you.

The direction your interested in heading us how we can cool is that, see, there's a big difference in what other people are achieving. And when you've achieved IT, when you feel like you're fAiling because of somebody else's life, it's because you're focused on the fact that they have IT now and you're lying to yourself and saying i've failed. I'll never have IT.

Let's flip this into the truth. Everything in life is lesson. Whatever IT is that makes you feel like you're fAiling.

It's just simply something you want like a fabulous love story. Course you do. You deserve that.

You can create that. Just because somebody else has that now doesn't mean you failed. They're showing you that what you want is possible.

They're leading the way. This is a lesson. That's IT. You want to make more money, you can do that. Look at, you're listening to a woman that was eight hundred thousand dollars and that i'd leaned on my house. I could barely get groceries on the table.

I really felt like I was finally every single person in my age that had made IT, that we're taking their family to disney world, that could pay their bills, that were renovating their kitchen for a long time. I thought I was filming, and then I learned this lesson a way I want that I can work for that. Maybe i'm not meant to have that right now, but that doesn't mean I can't have IT later.

And that's the lesson. Remind yourself that through hard work and effort and patients, ninety five percent of the things that other people have, you can create for yourself. See, the problem is in the tendency to compare.

The problem is that you're torturing yourself with that because you're focusing on the fact that they've got IT now and that you don't have IT now makes you a loser balloony balloony. They have IT when they're supposed to have IT. You can have that when you're supposed to have if you're willing to work for IT.

See your life isn't over. That's how I know you haven't failed and I know that your life isn't over because you're listening or watching me right now and the lesson you needed to learn today, which is why you tuned in, is that you're never fAiling in life if you're learning something from IT. And today you get to make a choice, you get to choose whether you're telling yourself to lie that based on where somebody else right now and where you are, that you're falling, you're fine behind and never get what you want.

Losing the stuff is so stupid. Why would you say that? Like, just stop. And look, I get that there are very deep psychological reasons why we all do this, but I just want you to wake up and realize that you get to choose what you say to yourself and choosing to believe that you're capable of achieving the things that you want.

And for whatever reason, you're not there right now, but you can be in the future like glorious play this out if you choose to start to say to yourself, I think through my hard work in my attitude, I could create amazing things. And then you start to say that to yourself, I think through my hard work and my positive attitude, I could create amazing things. What do you think you're gona wake up and do tomorrow? Oh, you're probably going to wake up and do some amazing things.

why? Because you think IT and you say IT and that makes you wanna do IT. And guess what happens if you wake up every day and you start chipping away at the things you you become that person? That's how this works.

If you choose to believe that your path in life is meant for something bigger than where you are right now, you will get there. But if you are so preoccupied with this lie, if you are so trapped in thinking that you are a failure in chronically comparing yourself to other people and then bashing yourself with IT, you will never, ever, ever see the truth. And the truth is that there is a much bigger and more exciting future for you.

And IT is waiting for you to just reach out and rabbit, and you're here with me right now and in this conversation with me today, because you're meant to wake the hell up and stop living yourself. This is an invitation for you to stop lying. Stop saying that you feel, stop saying it's never gona happen because every time you tell yourself that lie, you close the door and your friend mall Robins, i'm opening up an invitation.

That's what i'm doing. I'm saying I want you to accept the truth. Your future is wide open. You get to choose who you become. That is the truth.

There are just too many examples of people that had way worse off than you, out way like, more like a failure than you. I, I had the numbers on the paper. I had the leans on the house.

I had mathematical proof that I was fAiling IT finance, and yet I changed what I said to myself. And to help me reinforces, i'm calling on a friend of mine, mr. Steven ballet.

Now most people know him, and you may know him as the host of europe's number one podcast, diary of a CEO. Now, Stevens, a wildly successful entrepreneur. He is a judge on the british version of shark tank, is someone I look up to in business.

And I kind of like literally steal a lot of the way he does things because there's a formula for everything. And Stephen has literally crack the code on a lot of stuff. So I look up to him, I learned from him, I cheer for him.

And he also has a really amazing take on making your, quote, biggest failures and chAllenges and flipping them into lessons and advantages. So I even about his mindset, and honestly, what the man says when opened his mouth is like a master class. And I want to start by just kind of setting the table and giving you just a little short hand about his childhood.

And Steven talks very openly about how he had a extremely difficult and rough childhood. He grew up as one of the only black kids in an all White neighbor od all White school outside london. He was the Youngest of four boys, his grade of isma money nonexistent in the family.

And Stephen started digging class and selling cigarettes on the school playground for money. And then one of his friends said something to him that changed the trajectory of his entire life. Check this out.

One of my friends said to me back then, they said, you're either going to be a millionaire jail. And that for me, I remember where I was stood when he said that to me, seven years old, because I was that desperate, which means if I need money, and if I think money equals sitting in the, then i'm gonna sell everything in the house. I'm gonna start businesses at twelve. I'm gonna sell the cigarettes, my mum back from nigeria, and those black bags in the spare room. I'm going to do whatever I can.

I want to make sure you heard that one moment changed as a jacory of is in her life. He's got this friend that says, you're a going to go to jail, you're going to be a millionaire, you get to choose. And he also explain to you how what he thought became what he said, which became what he did, which became who he became.

And a lot of becomes. But let me unpack this for you. Basically, he felt like an outsider in his community, only black kid in this all White town, super, super, super poor.

So when that friend said to him, you're either going to go to jail, you're gona be a millionaire thing, he thought, wave money means I will belong here. I could be a millionaire. That means i'm going to fit into this.

I don't think I fit into. He started thinking, if I make money, then I am going to become somebody that I wanna be, which is somebody that other people respect and look up to. And the more that he said, i'm gna make money, guess what? The more that he found ways to make money.

Now i'm not suggesting that you still cigarettes and you sell him on a playground to make money. I am using this as an example to point out that he used this formula. He could have easily focused on the fact I am the only blanket I am filling out of school.

We don't have any money at home. My dad is gone working. My mom is working all the time. I am basic ally alone, as the Youngest of four, barely surviving.

And you use this word like a fairly cat run in around the neighborhood, being, instead of saying I am a failure, he chose to think something else. If I make money, and if I do what IT takes to make money, then I will become the person I want to be. And what do you started doing was experiments. And here's how he explains what he means. By experiments.

the world is only going to change faster and faster and faster than ever before, which means the correct dances is gna change so quickly that you're not going to get anywhere else other than conducting an experiment in your life, which means taking that first step. And from those experiments, you end up building a ton of evidence about yourself. And by sixteen, I realized that grades weren't going to get me where I needed desperately to go. And when you realize that the system is telling you success and happiness is a result of getting an a on that exam that you can't get on, you have to find another path.

He used the word experiments. okay? And this is the doing part.

When you start to tell yourself the truth that you can find your way, and in Stevens case, his way, when he was really, really little, was I got to figure out ways to make money, right? The way and all the little stuff that you start to do. These are all dest experiments, kay.

They don't aren't to be fixed in stone. And as Steven was explaining me, like these are just little test about what's working and what's not working. I want to illustrate an example that a lot of you may be able to relate to or maybe you relate to on behalf of somebody that you love.

And let's just say that you are out of shape. You have let your health go. You been caring for other people or working like crazy, or maybe have an exercise since high school or college forts.

Whatever happened, it's happened, right? But you now have this lie that you tell yourself that is, i'm a big person. I'm the out of shape one. I'll never get in shape. I'll never lose this wait.

I'll always be like this, right? And if you say that to yourself, when you wake up in the morning, after you set that over and over and over again, do you go for a walk? no.

Do you go to the gym? no. why? Because of what you've been thinking and saying. See what you think becomes what you say.

And what you say becomes what you do and what you don't do, and that determines you become. So this, just use Stephen bartlett. D experiment.

This, just run a little experiment here. How are you just say to yourself? Just start thinking, I deserve to feel healthier. I deserve to take Better care.

My body, I deserve to take some time and move my body every day just because I know it's good for me and I deserve to do that. Like that's a good thing for me. I just say you think that, kay, you don't do anything.

Now let's just say you started saying that yourself reading in journal, I deserve to feel good my body, I deserve to have healthier habits, I deserve to. You know, move my body a little bit and take that time. If you keep saying that one of these morning you're going to wake up, you be like, you know what, i'm the kind of person who deserves to feel good.

My body I think I might go for walk today. And next thing you know, you're one of the gym and next thing you know, you're trying to yog class and next thing you know, you're run in all these little experiments and you're sign in up for the five k charity walk in your local town. And next thing you know, you've become a person the healthier, and you become a person with body, and you become a person that takes care yourself.

And I love this idea of running little experiments, because the problem with lies is, when you lie yourself, you close the door and what possible, and you keep yourself stuck. You know, I did this in my career for a long time. I went to law school.

And the second I got the last score right, lost all three years. IT is an exorbitant amount of money. I gets the law school and I realized I freaking hate IT here.

I started saying i'm stuck, like i've failed, like I kick the wrong career. But now that i'm here, I gotta stay here. And when you lie to yourself and say you failed or you made the wrong call, it's almost like walking into a room and the door shots behind you.

And I don't care what IT is, whether it's a relationship that didn't work out or a job that didn't work out or my case, an entire career path that didn't work out or graduate degree or the apartment you run. IT turned out to be absolutely horrific when you say to yourself, I made the wrong call, I failed. And for me, you know, I not only completed loss cow, I then got a job as a lawyer.

And so now I find myself, i'm ough six years into this thing. I'm twenty nine years old, i'm pregnant, I have a mortgage. I hate what I do for a living.

When people would ask me, melt what you do for living and I have to answer, i'm a layer. It's like I I puke like coming out of my mouth. And here's the lie I started saying to myself, i'm stuck in this career.

I have failed. I have failed. I've made the wrong decision and I can't do anything about this. And when you tell yourself that lie, that's what you become.

And I was a stocked lawyer who hated my life for way too long, because every day I would wake up, and I would think I hate this, but I can't do anything. I failed. I picked the wrong career time, stuck with IT. And that means I did nothing right. And look, I get IT.

IT is so easy for somebody to post a quote on instagram that says ens, but when you feel like you're the one in the room with the door shut and you've failed, the truth is this, you've never fail because everything that you do is preparing you for what comes text. That's the true. There are no failures in life.

If you can learn from IT, it's not a failure is a lesson. So if you're hearing my words right now, you're watching this right now on youtube, I need you to understand something. This lie will keep you where you are for the rest of your life.

IT will. And the fact is, you are merely on one stone on the path of your life. And if you look backwards right now, I guarantee you, you could explain to me how absolutely everything that has happened you has let you right here to this moment, right now.

Imagine if, in this moment, I think a lot about this. Imagine if while I was in law, cw, I could go back and I could have listened to this conversation, and the twenty three year old me could have changed what I was thinking, insane to myself, that if you don't like this, you can leave. And that's true. You can always leave a conversation, or a date, or a job interview, or a career, or a marriage, or an apartment, anything. You are never fAiling.

You are never stuck, and if you can look backwards and see how everything is let you hear, why can you stand where you are here and tell yourself the truth, that where I am now is leading me to where I need to be in the future, that I am on my way, which means I am on my way to winning, I am on my way to where I want to be. And I am going to grab this advice from Steven, and then i'm going to start doing little experiments to help me get there. And that is what Stephen is gona tell you.

He is going to tell you how to take this concept even further. But first, before you hear from Steven, i'd like to take a quick pause. We can hear award from our amazing sponsors and why you take a listen, share this with someone that you love.

Everybody needs to know these three lies. They need to kill these three lies. They need to start thinking and saying and live in by the truth.

So share this episode and don't you dare go anywhere. You're going to want to hear what Steve bartman has to say, and I will be waiting for you after a short break, stay with us. Somehow it's almost three season again and IT seems covered. Season hasn't ever really left us, which means it's time to get updated on your seasonal vaccines again.

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Visit cozy earth a com lesh mell Robins and use my exclusive forty percent off code mell robbins to give the gift of luxury this holiday season that's cozy earth comes such male Robins. If you get a post purchase survey, say you heard about cause youth from the male Robins podcast, welcome back. If your friend melt robbins today, you and I were talking about three lies, and the truth that you need to start saying and living by, we are on line.

Number one, which is a dumb lie that we all tell ourselves. We start comparing ourselves. Everybody else.

I'm fAiling and behind. And not true. You are on your way. You are on your way to your next went.

We have been talking about how lies close the door on you because the truth is you don't need to figure out your life at twenty six. If you didn't make IT one career, then go into another one. You don't have to have IT together now.

You can have IT together later. In fact, most of us will never have IT together. So if you figure out how to get IT all together, I would love to know the answer to that. One of the reasons why you fail comes back to comparison and comes back to society and the fact that you're staring everybody else instead of looking in the mere and recognizing that you've got absolutely everything that you need to not only stop closing the door in yourself, but to kick the dam thing open and walk through IT and get on your way, i'm going to pass to my friend Steven. Steven.

take IT away. I think most of our experience is a bunch of social um miss bunch of doors that we just haven't tried pushing on yeah and I at a very unh started pushing on those doors. And when you start pushing on all of them and you realize that there's nothing behind them, they lead to nowhere.

Um I think IT developed into a habit where you start questioning things a bit more. You start questioning like, social norms about, you have to do this at this age, and you have to get university and you have to pursue a is for losers. And all of these narratives turns out most of them, A, B, S. And he is in taking them on that. You find yourself reaping life's greatest rewards.

I love that. I love that you've got experience. And now you got question, question the things you believe because a lot of what you believe even say yourself as a complete lie, or if someone else is truth.

But IT doesn't apply to you. And i'm going to remind you why this is so important for you to take this conversation seriously. Your words matter what you think shapes what you say. And what you say to yourself over and over is what you do. And what you do becomes who you are.

So if you're in a place where you feel like a failure or you're struggling with comparison or you're scared to death about what other people think, start questioning the things that you're thinking and sank yourself. Push against the doors that have closed because just like Stephen sank and just like I found, the second you start changing the narrative in your own brain and you start telling your the truth, those doors push wide open. They really do.

Every time you tell yourself you're fAiling, losing a life, you're lying. It's not true. The truth is everything in your life is leading you where you're meant to go.

So to stop sitting there and telling yourself that the door is closed and kick IT open, and you gotto tell yourself the truth, I am on my way. I am on my own timely. I am capable of achieving the things that I want.

I am gna open up this door by opening up my thinking. Because what I think becomes what I say, what I say becomes the experiments that I do that lead me to who I am going to become. And that brings me to the second line that you are telling yourself, which is, or even worse, you say you're lazy.

Can I tell you the truth? The truth is you have a plenty of motivation. See, you just don't understand your brain surfactant.

You have no idea how to all the juice of focus and determination and willing wer out of that incredible machine in your head. IT is all there. You have plenty of motivation to tap into.

You're not lazy at all. Most people are not like lazy is. What's interesting about somebody who's actually lazy is that you just choose not to do something that's not laziness.

That's a decision. okay. So I just be honest with that. You don't have to take my word for this.

By the way, I got my friend, harvard trained psychiatrist doctor alec canoga. He's also known his doctor. K, he is one of the world's leading experts on motivation.

He's got millions of people that follow him on healthy gamer on his youtube channel. And it's gone to tell you it's not that you're unmotivated or you're lazy. That's a lie.

You just don't know how to use your brain and you and I are going to fix that. Check out. dr. 点。 K.

so what I would say is we are spending our whole lives swimming upstream. Instead of understanding our motivational circuitry, we are trying to conquer IT. When your motivation comes from the right place, then you are impervious to the circumstances around you affecting your motivation.

So what does your kate just said is actually greatness. Let me try to translate that. okay? He's basically saying the issue isn't the amount of motivation here. The issue is you don't understand the circuitry in your brain that allows you to happen to IT and it's not true that you're unmotivated.

The truth is you're just working against your own brain circuit, tory, and that's great news because that means it's a lie to say that you're unmotivated or lazy. The truth is your brain has just as much motivation. Jee at IT that you need to focus and to work out and to get all this stuff done.

Has anybody you just don't know how to freezing locally? Doctor k, explains that a huge reason why a lot of us of you feel unmotivated comes down to how your brain is wired. And a major mistake that you make when you lie yourself and say, i'm and you don't understand your brain circuit tary.

This was me. This was me. And I want to set up this advice from doctor k for you, because dr. k.

Is about to break down how your brain works, so you can understand your motivational circuitry, and you can access IT, and you can stop lying to yourself, and you can start living in the truth, which is you got just as much juice as everybody else. And he's gonna first explain this incredible fact that I never knew about the basics of your brain circuitry. Here's stock to cay.

or a lot of people don't realize, is that you have a certain capacity for a pleasure and behavioral reinforcement. When you wake up in the morning, you have only a certain number of units of pleasure and behavioral reinforcement. So our document logic circuitry in the brain, in this part called the nucleus comments. Basically, this is what gives us a sense of pleasure and also reinforces our behavior.

So what he's saying is that this, I can say that we're dopamine generic circuit tory. Okay, right? We've all heard that word doping IT has to do with motivation and craving and reward.

What he's basically saying is you and I have a certain capacity for pleasure and behavioral reinforcement, which basically refers to the whole circuitry around motivation will power all of that. But here's the catch. You only have a certain amount of IT and it's there when you wake up.

So only a certain amount of IT naturally when you wake up. And this is really important. So all of that motivational capacity that you naturally have IT is at peak capacity and the tank is full when you wake up.

I didn't know that if you didn't know that, it's not like, oh, my gosh, that's an important thing to understand. Don't you love this conversation? I just love this.

I love this because I feel inspired. I feel inspired for you. I feel inspired for the people that you love that are gna hear this conversation when you share IT.

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Welcome back at your friend mell Robins. I love this topic. Three lies, your telling yourself and the truth you need to hear.

Bomb, let's jump back in. So what after kid said next is even more important. And this is some mouse had never heard before I talk to doctor k.

so the problem with dopamine is we wake up in the morning and our dope energies stores are full. So what happens? We have a reserve of dopamine. And if you want something with delayed gratification and your document stores are high, you can work a lot.

But then when you get the pay off, since you have a bunch of document, you ve got a strong dopamine release, and then you feel really good. So the way that this works is like, I want to you all to think about this little, say, I wake up first in the morning and then I work for four hours. And then what is the subjective reward that I feel after four hours of work? It's really positive.

Then if I use technology for four hours, it's kind of whatever. But if I use technology for the first four hours of the day and then I try to go and do work, you're not going to. And even if you finish the same amount of work, you will not experience the same level of pleasure because your doping has literally been depleted.

Wow, I just want to make sure you really track with that because I was like dr 点 ky， you've got a repeat that so basically when you wake up in the morning, your natural dopamine reserves, the tank is full, you've got that the tank is false. So you've got the most use naturally for the day, first thing in the morning, and you get to choose what you aim, that tank fuel.

And what hee's basically saying is, if you, like, pick up the phone and spend four hours online bomb, you're gonna big hit. But then you're going have nothing life for work. If you aimed at at work, you're going to get a lot of work done and you're going to be able to focus and then you're going to feel, here's the problem for most of us because we don't know this.

You pick up the phone first thing in the morning, right? That's a huge problem. Because when you look online at the news or emails or text or social media, your drain in the dove men, how dumb is that? I didn't realize how big of a problem that was. I think we kind of common sense now OK it's dum the line in bed and look at social media really down idea.

But when you think about IT in this term, that you are gaining and wasting all of your natural reserves of the doped circuitry simply by being on social media first thing in the morning, which is, by the way, why you feel unfocused and unmotivated for the rest of the day, because by the time you roll out of bed, you got an empty tank upstairs between your ears. And i'm telling you this because the truth is you woke up with plenty of motivation naturally in your brain. You have plenty of dover in in the circuitry of all this.

Just like doctor k said, if you don't understand how the circuitry works and you wasted on dumb things, and then you spend the rest of the day going, I feel unmotivated. I'm really lazy. And I really want to hear this point because this is a huge lie you're telling yourself, and it's a simple mistake that you can correct. And to make this even more visual, I want you to hear how doctor k explains this and a super simple analogy, take lesson.

So the way that I kind of describe this is imagine that you have a lemon that is full of juice. yeah. So the very beginning, when it's full of juice, a small squeak gets you a lot of juice.

But by the end, you have to freeze a lot to get very little juice. This is how doping is in our brain. So technology is like a hard squaze. So we use at first thing in the morning, we squeak the lemon really hard and we get all the juice out, and then you have nothing left to feel good about because all of your dopamine stores have .

been deplete IT. Oh my gosh, do you love thinking about this? I love visuals that your motivation is like a lemon, and you wake up and a lemon is full and juicy, and it's got all this juicy.

And then like a complete dummy, you and I, because we don't know any Better reach for our phone because it's addictive and it's like it's a hard squeak, the man just set IT. We literally squeeze all the juice out of our brain and out of our motivational circuitry by screwing on social media. Been watching youtube.

What a stupid thing to do. The second that doctor k said that i'm like, i'm never having my phone in my bedroom again. No, IT was always a role, but now it's a mate.

Why on earth would you actually want to drain the tank of willpower, motivation, depine mode of all of that stuff fers in the morning? No wonder by the time you actually sit down to work on your goals or handle your responsiblities, or get to the gm, or simply feel motivated to do what you wanted to do to enjoy your day, you gone us and left. And because you gave me a hard squeak first in the morning by checking out social media, that's why you feel drained, empty and crappy.

That's why you feel unmotivated. I want you to just let that sinks in first, second. Your brain is working correctly, your designed in a beautiful way.

And because we didn't know any Better here, we are waking up just wasting our brains most amazing fuel, the energy that you need to feel happy and motivated and alive. It's like give IT a hard school eze when you open up social media, look at the phone. It's gone before you even start today.

So how do you change IT? How do you make your brain work for you, not against you? Because we now know it's a lie that you're unmotivated.

We know we've been making a mistake, right? That's the truth. And the truth is you are a very motivated person.

That's why you listen to this podcast. That's why you want to do Better. And now that you know Better, you can do Better.

So what is doctor case suggest? Well, his first strategy is super simple. I hope you'll do IT, and I hope you'll remember the lemon. Do not reach for your phone or turn on technology for the first hour of your day.

Instead, give your brain and that full juicy lemon tank of motivation time to wake up naturally without that external tech phones, stimulation or the T, V, given IT a hard. Because here's the truth that I want you to think, say and do. You are motivated.

You are focused. You are capable. You wake up every single day with a brain that full of juice ready to go.

You want to know the truth. I'm going to tell you the truth that I got to tell myself mabu been wasting that brain, woman. And this is one tiny shift that will tap into the truth.

You got plenty of motivation. You just need to preserve the dolphin juice for something that is worth that motivation. Stop wasting IT and stupid things. Does you just love that you're learning how to take control of your brain? And I want you to hear one more time from doctor k for that extra encouragement.

And what I found is once you start trying to fight this and you equipped yourself with some knowledge of how that works, you will be amazed at how easy IT is, actually will be difficult for a while, but then you will get good at IT. The problem is that we don't know how our brains work, we don't know how technology, we don't know how you the stuff works. So there's a lot of hope you don't have to do a perfect and you'll be amazed that how much things can cade in the .

right direction. Dk, I love you. Do you love how simple this is? When you know the truth, it's liberating.

What you say becomes what you do, you don't remove from, you wait an hour and you direct the motivational juice at something that actually matters. And then when you do that, what happens? You become somebody who's motivated isn't not so cool.

That brings me to the third and the most damaging lie of all. And that is telling yourself, you cannot change. This is the worst. When you say I can change, stuck how I am, you tell yourself i'll always be the one who's bad with fine and never have any good friends.

You always be the emotional eater or the person that smokes, or the one whose the big one of your friends you can get your act together and always works out for your sister, never works for you. I'll never find a career i'll never be financially for. Its a lie, IT is a lie.

You want to know the truth. You're designed to grow and change and to whom ever IT is your meant to be and this isn't just some sort of fluffy pet tok from your fight friend, male Robins. At a biological, physiological and neurological level, you are always growing and changing.

And that's gonna happen until the day you die. This is a fact. And if you're learning over and over and over again, you have to be very careful and very cheesy about the words that you use when you speak to yourself.

Let me tell some, you don't have a clue where you are, and you never will. If you continue to say this garbage to yourself, you have to start telling yourself the truth. What's the truth? You can change any time you want.

You can change your habits. You can change your friend group. You can change your career. You can learn new skills.

My gosh, that's what this entire conversation is about today, how you leverage what you think and what you say to change what you do into who you become. You are not stuck where you are, but you will be if you keep telling yourself this lie. IT is a lie that you can change.

But i'll tell you what you will never change if you keep telling yourself that you won't change. And I know how easy is to be trapped by this life, because I have told myself I have felt stuck in my life. And yeah, because I don't say this to myself anymore.

I know the truth. I know that you can change any time you decide to do the work. To change IT is easier for me to sit here and say this, because I have been through this so many times of my life. I now know the truth, and I live the truth. But I want to acknowledge something.

I want to acknowledge how scary IT is when you wake up in a place in your life and you don't like where you are and you don't like who you become, and you listen to someone like me who sees something so much bigger for you, and you don't see IT for yourself. The truth is, you have agency in your life. You do have power.

And that's why I wanted you to hear from my really good friend sa jx robber, because sh'll say IT in your face, but sh'll say IT in a more compassionate. And I really want you to embrace the power that you have right now, right here, whatever IT is that you are in life. And even though IT feels daunting to look out and imagine an open future and even consider that there is a different possibility that is yours to claim, I gotta Sarah talk to you because there is a pastor and a new york times best selling author. And SHE just has a way with words ticket ism.

When you have spent more time doubting yourself than believing in yourself, it's not an easy transition. And I, I, I crack when I see people like to take the leap, take the jump. It's hard.

IT is really, really hard because I ve only known one way of being a one way of seeing myself. And now you're telling me, like, i'm this big bb person and I just need to step into IT and run with IT and like, I can't do IT IT is a dare. IT is not something that comes easily, but IT is something that gradually picks up momentum.

And so I tried to chAllenge people like one, like, let's start, let's create this vision. Like, who is this person who you believe is within you're reach to become? You open the cover, you know what you're working with? Who do IT is that that you believe you can become from here? And how do we begin to gradually introduce that person to your life?

I love this because Sarah is meeting you exactly where you are on this day, in this moment of your life. And when he says open the covered, what he means is, imagine you're standing in the kitchen and you're stand in front of a covered, and you open up the covered and you ve got to make dinner and you got, maybe I can, of kidney beans that was in my covered, maybe a couple kind of tomato. You get some spicy, you get some other stuff.

What can you make with this? right? What are you working with? And that's all you need, is to open up the cupboard metaphorically and just work with what you got with where you are right now.

And I want to make sure that you heard Sarah j. Roberts question you, who is IT that you believe you can become from here? And I want you to focus on the towards from here.

Let's talk about where you are right now. And let me remind you of the two truth that we've already cover. Member to someone you have a failed.

You are not behind everything that has happened in your life. It's about you here. And the cool parties is you open up the covered and you look at where you are.

It's leading you to what comes next, everything that you've got to work with as a lesson, which means it's also leading you to your next win. That's the truth. And all you got ta do is just start telling yourself that that I am exactly where I need to be.

I've got exactly what I need. And all I need to do is just trust and take the next step, do the next experiment, figure out the next place I need to go. That's IT.

It's in the doing the experimenting that you become. But you got a first stop line to yourself. You got got to tell yourself exactly where you are right now.

You are on your way. The second truth, you have all the motivation you need. I know you're tired. I know you may feel a little overwhelming. It's not true.

You have all the motivation you need and thanks to do k, you now know you're not gona waste IT and some stupid like screw wing on your phone first thing in the morning and just thrown away all that motivation, firepower and juice because the truth is you have all the motivation you need. And now that you know that you want to create something Better for yourself, you're gonna use IT. You can tap right into IT.

And that's gonna help you answer serious question. If you got all the motivation you need, if you know that where you are right now is leading you to wear, you are meant to go. If you know that just by experimenting every day, doing things, trying things out moving forward, if you knew that that was gonna lead you to your next win, who do you believe you can become from here? And when you answer that, knowing you have the motivation and you have everything that you need, that leads you to the final truth, which is you're capable of changing yourself.

You're capable of changing your life. You're capable of looking at what you've learned and looking at where you are and looking at what you have to work with, which is a lot more than you give yourself credit for and taken that next step. That's the truth.

I don't ever want to to hear you tell yourself a lie, and I don't ever want you to allow IT again. Do not tell yourself you cannot change. Do not tell yourself that you are stuck right here where you are IT is simply not true.

In fact, you're working against your own neurology, biology, physiology. I don't even know what other ologies and the natural order of the intelligent design of you as a human being when you sit there until yourself that garbage. And I want to turn IT back to the amazing serge Robert.

Because I want her to grab your hand. I have got my army on your shoulder, but I want her to grab your hand and walk you through exactly how you're going to take that first step from here because here's the thing IT begins with thinking something different. IT begins with thinking the truth.

I can change, I am capable. Others IT then become saying IT to yourself, because you gotta a, say IT to yourself and say IT out loud, because then that becomes something that you do. Do not stay trapped in your head because you gotta a do something to become something. Take a listen .

do you don't have to go from where you are right now to that person overnight? IT is an introduction um for those who you're an intimate relationship with is the abilities that you know what that president that I said the way that I have been showing up IT doesn't necessarily feel honest anymore and I want you to know the most honest version of myself and maybe things will change a little bit you know i'm married.

I I don't want to write a book that empower someone to be like, you know what I wanna change and whether they can get with IT or net, when is someone exactly but you know, I mean, like that you might want to that person around. Maybe they have and done nothing to you, but you still wanna be authentic. You have to introduce who you are to that person.

Like, actually, I kind of want to go back to school or I want to start a business, or I kind of think I might be an artist. And so above a few things, and I appreciate bringing you along on this journey with me. IT is an introduction. And then you look up and you realize, well, I have transformed, but transformation is a process. And so I would say to take a little dare a baby dare recognizing that with each little dare we look up and we have been transformed.

I love that. I love that a baby dare a baby, dear. Maybe the baby there is, you're not going to have a glasses one tonight.

Maybe the baby there is, you're gonna admit that you miss going to an art studio, and you're going to tell somebody. Maybe the baby dare is you're going to roll out your yoga mat tomorrow morning when you wake up. Maybe the baby dare is you are simply gonna stop lying to yourself.

I dare you to embrace the truth after a conversation today. I want you to open up that metaphor covered of your life and stand here in the moment and see you have so much to work with. Do you know, as you've learned in your life, do you know how far you have come?

It's it's unbelievable the things that you've been through and that you're here and you show an up. You don't give yourself enough credit. And I want to point out three truths that you're now working with.

You are on your way and you will figure this out. And as long as you just keep on learning and you try these little experiments, you will be winning every step of the way. And the second thing that you're working with its truth number to you have all the motivation you need.

Your brain is working perfectly. IT is designed, designed like that. Big lemon is got all the juice you need, so please, please, please do not be a dummy, do not wasted on your phone in the morning, because you, my friend, you have got bigger fish to fry.

You, you got some dairy, you you got some steps to take, you get stuff to do that's important. And choose number three that you're working with. Remind yourself you can change any moment you decide to.

In fact, I love on this. You are designed to. Must say that again, you are designed, you were built to change and grow and take those baby theirs. And I am hoping that after our conversation today, after the time we spent together today, that you don't just keep this conversation inside of you, that you do take that there, that you do tell people in your life. In fact, I hope you share this episode with them with a little note.

And you're like, can you listen to this? And then can we have a conversation about what we both want to go do in our lives? Can we support each other like this is empowering? Or maybe you going to write IT down in a journal.

Who do you believe you can become from here? I'll tell you why I believe you can become anything and anyone you are willing to work for becoming. I don't even know it's a proper sentence, but you know what I mean, because what you think becomes what you say, and what you say becomes what you do, and what you do becomes who you are. And here's Sarah and what I want you to do next.

because, okay, you listen to the podcast, you read the books in this, all living inside of you got the tools you got, you got the inspiration. You've gotta let this live outside of you. I think that we have to create openings for who we are becoming.

Sometimes, as with their language, sometimes that's with as having communication with other people. But I think the most powerful thing you can do is to back at to start putting a down payment on who you are becoming by using your words, using your language to create space for that person to be rooted in your life. Part of the reason that you have to let IT live out outside of you is that when IT lives outside of you, IT enthuse you out and makes room for more. But also IT creates space outside of you for who you are becoming.

Let IT live outside of me. Create space in the world for who are becoming, creates space inside of me. This is why this formula works. What you think becomes what you say.

And when you say that IT lives outside of you, and every baby day, every experiment, everything that you do creates the space for you are becoming. That's how this works. That's why I see a bigger future for you.

That's why I know that something incredible is possible for you. Because you can follow this simple formula. You can recognize these lies.

You can tell yourself the truth. And when you do that, you will achieve things that are beyond your wildest dreams. You will.

You will. If I can do IT, you can do IT. And this is the formula that gets IT done.

And I can't wait to see what you do with IT. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to say the truth. I love you, and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a Better life.

Now you Better get out there and go do IT. And that's not a dare. That's a demand. And i'll see you in the very next episode.

That's the truth. So we can give our amazing sponsors a chance to okay, Lorry OK, tell me one more time what I was in OK and is okay, get IT, let's go back up to puke in the mouth. And that's really not a great visual but even though that but that's really um well locally this is the most dangerous of sorry this I am sorry, the tables really working okay, good I do more time, save a different.

Well, okay, got you. I got like I was amt, wasn't I? thanks. I think our consist.

Oh, and one more thing I know, this is not a blue per. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers right? And what I need to read you.

This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licence therapies, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified professional.

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