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Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 Central and streaming on Paramount+.
You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, this is Roy Chang. The Daily Show's off this week, but don't worry. We put together some of our favorite moments from the show in case you missed them. We'll be back with brand new shows on September 10th. Until then, enjoy today's episode. I met with one of the nation's top political fact-checkers, Glenn Kessler of the Washington Post, to find out how difficult it is to fact-check a debate live. Debates are actually relatively easy to cover.
About 95% of the things they say in these debates are things they've already said and which we have fact-checked. So for you, the debates are like a rerun of, like, "Everybody Loves Raymond," or, like, "Everybody Thinks Mexicans Are Rapists." -Yes. -So compare Hillary and Donald Trump. In terms of fact-checking, Hillary Clinton is like playing chess with a real pro. Fact-checking Donald Trump is like playing checkers with someone that's not very good at it. It's pretty boring.
You find Donald Trump boring? Yes. His facts are so easily disproven, there's-there's no joy in the hunt. And when Glenn finds a lie, he rates its egregiousness with a withering one to four Pinocchios. That's right, he eviscerates politicians using a wooden doll with a dick nose. So when you fact-check something,
and you give it four Pinocchios, then what happens to the candidate? Well, a lot of-- most candidates will... will often stop saying that. Uh, in the case of Donald Trump, uh, he almost never reacts to something we write. Maybe he thinks Pinocchio is just a Slovenian model. And he thinks four, "Oh, that's good. That's two more than I had last night."
I don't think so. Glenn was cocky. Too cocky. I decided to check the Fact Checker. The capital of Michigan is Detroit. That's not a fact. The tomato is a fruit. Fact. It's unsafe to eat eggs that have been sitting in your gym bag for two weeks. I believe if you look on the website of the United States Department of Agriculture, that is not... It's a little balmy, but it's still a good egg.
All right, so Glenn checked out until I discovered how often he had given Hillary's claims for Pinocchio's compared to Trump's. She's at 15%.
Uh, but Donald Trump is 65%. Percentages? Ugh. How about this? If Hillary walks into a bar and says ten things, one and a half of them would be lies. If it's Trump, six and a half of them would be lies. Or, to put it another way, when Hillary screws you over, she does it with this tiny lying dick nose. If Trump screws you, it's with this monstrosity. The difference could only mean one thing. This sounds like just classic liberal bias. No, the facts...
Facts have to have a basis in reality. But whose reality? Liberal reality or conservative reality? No, there is no liberal or conservative reality. There is just reality. Why should we trust you? I am completely dispassionate politically. I just look at the facts. You have no passion whatsoever. I did not say I had no passion. I said I am dispassionate. Really? You're telling me if I leaned over and kissed you on the mouth right now, you wouldn't feel something? Well, that's not about the issues. Abortion.
The economy. What do you think about those issues, Glenn? I'm dispassionate about them. But do people even give a about facts? I mean, half the country thinks what Donald Trump says is totally cool. I write the fact checks. It's up to voters to decide what they want to do with it. Glenn, you're a smart guy. You make a lot of interesting points. But I'm an American. I believe what I feel. But right now, Daddy's gonna eat some eggs. Will him?
No, thank you. Oh. No, thank you, Glenn. With the election 42 days away, Americans have a choice. They can listen to Fat Boys with Italian wood puppets, or they can listen to their gut, a choice which I fully endure. Trust your gut, America.
Last night I assembled my own panel of experts to watch the debate. A body language analyst, a pageant judge, an expert on auras, a man who works at a Thai store, a yenta, a woman who doesn't speak English, someone who recently had knee surgery, and an easily bored teenage girl.
That really seems like kind of a ridiculous group of people to put together to analyze a debate. That's because it was, John. So to give their expert analysis, I give to you the John Oliver Focus Group. I'm here with a diverse panel of experts to gauge in real time their reactions to this debate. Let the debate commence. Welcome President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney. Okay, so let's-- let's stop it right there.
Who do we think is winning so far? -Obama. -Obama. Pageant judge. Right away, Obama came up with the "Hi, hello," the hand up high with a big smile. Aura expert. Uh, just you could feel from his various chakras, uh, kind of a confidence. Body language expert. So far, I think it's equal. I don't think you can make any decisions right now. Because they both walked onto the middle of the stage, shook hands, and literally nothing else has happened so far. Exactly.
Okay, that's fascinating. That's interesting. But key debate analysis is much deeper than just how you walk into a room. Man who works at a tie store, who do you think is winning so far? Governor Romney has a tie, interestingly enough, with a stripe that's actually an English stripe as opposed to an American.
Stripe. It seems to me someone running for president should have been advised to wear an American stripe tie as opposed to a British stripe. I have to agree with you. Pageant judge, you agree with that? I agree. Um, for the overall package, you're representing America. Yes, many people may not have that knowledge, but now that I did have that knowledge, it was...
It just made me feel like, "Why would you do that?" Even though you literally learned that fact 30 seconds ago. Absolutely. It did bother me. As the debate progressed, the analysis became even more sophisticated. Now, neither men so far have put their hands in their pockets. Apart from nothing, what does that mean? It means they're more open. They have nothing to hide. They're letting it all out. Uh, lady who doesn't speak English, tell me in your own words at the moment who is winning this debate. Oh, I don't understand very well. Tell me in your own words
Who is winning this debate? Say again, please. Understandably, these debates affect everyone differently. Now, um, man who recently had surgery, obviously both of them have their knees up. As someone who suffered an ACL injury, what does that make you feel? Well, that just makes me-- reminds me of what I can't do. But as all the experts assure us, the only way to really tell who wins a debate is to watch it without audio. Now, without the sound,
Who do we think is winning? Body language expert. Romney. Romney? Yes, he's more open, he's more fluid in his gestures, he's less angry. Easily bored teenage girl. Anything? I don't know. Now, let's see if this affects your response. For this next segment, we're going to keep the picture up, but we're gonna play the audio from an episode of CSI Miami. As far as he is, like, 2,000 cases. 2,000 cases, and now 2,000 suspects.
Did that affect your enjoyment of this debate? -Made it more enjoyable. -Yes. -Yes. -It actually did. That is hypothetically fascinating. This was going great, but there was only one way to make sure.
Hi. So, you've been watching the panel watching this debate. Uh, body language expert, what is your reaction to how the other body language expert is doing? I like the fact that she's, um, physically, via her face, expressing that she's not agreeing with the other people. Let's talk about the man who works at the toy store, Etiquette Lady. How is what he's wearing affecting what he's saying about what Romney is wearing? I would say, um, it doesn't signify the best taste, really, for October to be wearing lime green.
The lady who doesn't speak English, she's not said much. Is that polite or impolite? Well, you see, it's almost like she's a non-person to me. She's-- 'cause she's so quiet. Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that she really can't speak a word of English? Possibly, but she could at least smile. Right. But of course, in the end, there's only one panel that really matters. So, Ohio voter, who do you think won tonight's debate?
Oh, I-I thought Obama won. Obama it is, then, because you are the only one who counts. What a waste of time.
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If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style from September 15th to October 15th. Join us for Comida.com.
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The 2024 presidential election is here. MSNBC has the in-depth coverage and analysis you need. Our reporters are on the ground. Steve Kornacki is at the big board breaking down the races. Rachel Maddow and our Decision 2024 team will provide insight as results come in. And the next day, Morning Joe will give you perspective on what it all means for the future of our country. Watch coverage of the 2024 presidential election Tuesday, November 5th on MSNBC.
A few months ago, I went down to Florida to see how some older Jewish residents were feeling about Barack Obama. Now with the election just a few weeks away, I returned to watch the first presidential debate with my mispa... uh, my mispath... -My... -Mispoche. Mispoche. Exactly.
Like CNN, we armed our panel of voters with the latest in perception feedback analyzers. Under your seats there, you have some little controllers. These clickers, what they'll do is they're actually going to record...
what you're feeling as you're watching the debate. There's a letter on each of these buttons that corresponds to what you may be feeling when you hear something, and it's just that simple. And with that, we were ready to go. Good evening, Senators Obama and McCain. I'm not getting up. Our panel weighed in. Make sure you're hitting the button. Are you hitting the buttons and then send? Hitting send. I'm pressing. It's not going.
Unfortunately, not everyone was having success with the feedback system. You aren't pushing the buttons hard enough. So we switched to a simpler technology. Why don't you just yell what you're feeling off the list? A little bit of naivete there. He doesn't understand. Agreed. Russia committed serious aggression against Georgia.
He doesn't understand. He's an idiot. And I know that they know that I'll take care of them. Where have you been all this time? I immediately said that this was illegal. Agree. Disagree. We sit down with Ahmadinejad and he says we're going to wipe Israel out. Agree. You're both talking about the kind of stuff. Disagree. Henry Kissinger did say we should...
With the debate over, it was time for the post-debate analysis. He didn't let him speak. Obama interrupted McCain. He was correcting him. No.
No, he was not. Why do you say not? He interrupted him a lot. He tried to control the debate. So he interrupted him too much. He tried to control the debate. He tried to take the control away from the moderator. All right, all right. You're really going to have to go one at a time. How dare John McCain insult me
and everyone else by picking Sarah Palin, a woman who's totally inadequate. She's the governor. She was the governor of what, of Alaska? What was Barack Obama? He spent a couple of days in the Senate? I am deathly afraid of him. I watch Fox. Speak for yourself. And I read magazines and I determine for myself what the truth is.
She's the only one that reads. Fox is fair and balanced. The others are in the tank for Obama.
Do you have any idea how sick McCain is? He's physically ill. He can die any minute, and he can die in office, and that gives her the presidency. That's frightening. So could Obama. He smokes. Maybe he has lung cancer right now. You wish. It was a lively discussion, but perhaps the last word should go to Art. In four or five weeks, we're going to elect the president of the United States, and we're sitting here talking over irrelevant nonsense.
On second thought, let's end with this.
This is Daily Show Bush campaign correspondent Rob Corddry and of course his counterpart with the Kerry campaign, Ed Helms. Thanks for joining us guys. Ed, let's begin with you. Talk to us. How are people in the Kerry camp feeling tonight? Ecstatic, John. Kerry's people couldn't be happier. Their candidate went up against a sitting war president who's never lost a debate and held his own.
And Rob, what's the mood over there at the Bush camp? -Triumph, John, orgasmic triumph. Their man faced off against John Kerry, a golden-tongued virtuoso of words. Captain of the Yale debate team, he's been honing his oratorical skills since the age of three. The way they see it, by not allowing himself to be reduced to tears,
The president was a big winner tonight. If I can just interject here, John. Yes, Ed Helms. The Kerry campaign would like to remind America the senator was raised in France by a pack of homosexual billionaires.
And going into this, had little chance against a plain speaking, hardworking man of the people like George Bush. So for Kerry to be even close in this debate, they say, is a huge victory. If I may, John, that's a bit of a stretch. The Bush people would like to remind everyone their man held his own against what they call the smartest man in the history of the world. John, as RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie told me before we came on air, this is a president who's nearly killed by a pretzel.
John Kerry held his own against the man even he's going to vote for, George Bush. If that isn't a victory, I don't know what is. Now, joining me right now are two senior political correspondents on The Daily Show staff, Mo Rocca and Nancy Walz.
What really struck me about the debates last night was the abortion issue. It came to the forefront and I thought really divided the two candidates. Mo, what were your impressions about their abortion issue? Well, John, I can say with certainty that for countless American women, the deciding factor in how their vote is cast depends on whether or not the candidate is pro-choice. Yes, John, I'd like to... Mo, that's an interesting point. You know, you really... You feel like abortion is the swing issue this year. Absolutely.
Well, Nancy, you know what? I'm sorry, Nancy. Uh, I've got word that Vance DeGeneres in Tampa would like to weigh in. Vance? You know, the next administration is going to appoint three, maybe four Supreme Court justices. Now, all the experts agree that Roe v. Wade will be a litmus test. Well, that's a valid point, Vance. I'd have to say, uh... Right. You know, the real issue here, John, is that... Yeah, yeah, hold that thought, honey.
We've actually got Steve Carell on the phone, I believe. He's off today, but he's calling in from his home in New Jersey. Steve, did you have something you wanted to contribute to the abortion discussion? Yes, John. If abortions are outlawed, only outlaws will have abortion. And I ain't going to play Sun City. That's an excellent point, Steve. I've got to say that's exactly... John, I really feel like I have to comment here. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'll handle this one.
Yes, I'm sorry. Stephen Colbert. Well, John, I think there's one thing that no one is naming. Last night on that stage, two men stood behind podiums, two men, and talked about whether women should have reproductive rights. Now, why haven't we, you know, heard from any of the chicks? Well, that's a valid point. We've got time for one more comment. Nancy, what about that? Why are women dropping the ball on this?
You know, John, I've been sitting here listening to all of you and the issue of whether women should have the... John, I'm sorry. You know what? Oh, is that over there? Our cameraman Tom's been waiting very patiently. Tom, you had something you wanted to say? Yeah, I just think that women should definitely have the right to decide what happens to their own bodies. Also, I think prostitution should be legalized. All right. That's an excellent discussion. I want to thank everybody. Mo, Vance, Stephen, Steve Carell at home. Tom, the cameraman. Terrific work.
Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.
Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.
Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember...
If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style. From September 15th to October 15th, join us for comida, musica y eventos that you won't find anywhere else. Our rich history and traditions make the old pueblo the perfect place para celebrar y aprender.
Mark your calendars so you don't miss out on this celebración. Visita visittucson.org slash viva.
