Lewis Black Takes on Summer Heat | Charlamagne tha God on Racist Anti-Kamala Rhetoric
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Hey, this is Roy Chang. The Daily Show is off this week, but don't worry. We put together some of our favorite moments from the show in case you missed them. We'll be back with brand new shows on September 10th. Until then, enjoy today's episode. Welcome back to The Daily Show. When a news story falls through the cracks, Louis Black catches it for a segment we call Back in Black. Back in Black.

We are officially in the dog days of summer, which means I can finally bust out my slip and slide. It used to belong to the kid next door, but it turns out a lot of kids stuff you can just walk up and take. But this summer, it's so hot you can't even make it down the slide without your nuts sticking to the binders.

vinyl it's been one of the hottest summers on record across the u.s a relentless heat wave smashing records in the northeast monday was the hottest day ever recorded on earth the previous record which was set on sunday only lasted 24 hours it's hot really really hot

The hottest day ever recorded on Earth. Suck on that, dinosaurs. We can destroy the planet ourselves. We don't need an asteroid like you pussies. Yes, this summer the heat is kicking our ass more than usual. Last week it was so hot in New York that, and I can't believe I'm going to say this, I asked the Hawk to a girl to hit me in the forehead. Yeah.

And this isn't just your classic heat wave that only kills some old people that no one cares about.

The heat is so extreme, it's causing shit that's never happened before. Blazing temperatures outdoors can wreak havoc inside airplanes. These soda cans all exploded on Southwest flights due to extreme heat exposure. The problem is widespread. Southwest Airlines has reported about 20 employees have been injured by exploding soda cans this summer alone. What the hell? It's so hot!

that our soda cans are joining Al Qaeda. I don't want to die in a plane crash because of cherry Coke. I want to die because the Boeing guys forgot to tighten the screws. This is a disaster. What happens if planes have to get rid of soda? What am I supposed to drink on a flight now? Whiskey?

Then another whiskey? What am I supposed to mix the whiskey with? Another whiskey? Now I haven't had enough. You've had enough. This is clearly a reckoning, but I'm sure Ewans will take this as a sign that climate change is a serious threat and not a chance for an idiotic photo op.

At Death Valley National Park, they actually embraced the heat, encouraging tourists to take pictures in front of the park's thermometer. Right now, hovering around 130 degrees. You can definitely feel the heat on your skin. Honestly, it's definitely shocking. I don't know how anything can survive out here.

Of course, nothing can survive in Death Valley. That's why they call it Death Valley. Guess what they sell at Burger King, you idiot.

Now, you'd think park rangers would be warning people about the deadly heat, but instead they're getting in on the fun. Park rangers have a tasty way to show you just how hot it is inside your car. So rangers at, uh, Sekuro National Park by Tucson made banana bread inside their car. Some other things you can make inside your car: cookies, eggs, and even stuffed bell peppers.

Who stuffs a bell pepper? Yes, global warming means you can cook right in your car, which is great news for my new restaurant, Lewis Black's Hyundai Sonata chimichangas. The secret ingredient is wiper fluid. So yes, as we've known for a while, every year the earth is getting hotter and hotter like me and Paul Rudd.

And that's why we need every single government body working to fix the problem instead of jerking us around with elementary school science projects. The National Weather Service put on a colorful display of the record-setting heat wave hitting Las Vegas. Check out this time lapse of the extreme temps turning crayons into colored cream. This interesting experiment really puts in perspective just how hot

It is out there. I feel like if you could just sort of freeze that and then, you know, you make a little bit of art out of it. I think so, too. Right? Yes. That's cool. But I mean, really not cool. We're all going to die. Thanks, National Weather Service. Now, we all know what it would look like if a pack of Skittles got its period.

So quick safety tip, okay? If you're gonna leave your kid in a hot car, remember to grab the crayons first. It's hard to know whether to be more worried about the record heat or the record stupidity. But at least when the earth finally explodes, we'll be eating delicious dashboard banana bread along the way. Ronnie? Thank you, Lewis.

We all know I've got great opinions, but I'm not the only one. Studies show that other people also have opinions. So here with another installment of In My Opinion is our good friend Charlemagne Tha God.

Hey, now, if you've been following the presidential election, you've probably heard the news that there's a DEI candidate in the race. That's right. That's right. Those identity-obsessed Democrats picked someone just because of their race and gender. Tim Walz was a balancing choice for her. He's white. He's male. We do know that they wanted to get a white male on the ticket, so he's going to be that one. Here's a really important one. He's an old white dude. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes.

Thanks to affirmative action, there is an old white guy on the Democratic ticket for the first time. For the first time in about 17 days, okay? I'm glad white men are finally getting their moment in the sun. Just make sure to wear enough SPF, all right? Now, you all know what's really going on. According to Republicans, Tim Walz isn't the DEI hire because to them, every letter in DEI actually stands for the same thing. Black, black, black.

Which means the real DEI candidate is Kamala Harris. She's a diversity hire. Of course she's a DEI hire. 100%. She was a DEI hire. An incompetent diversity hire. This woman, this disaster whose only qualification was having a vagina and the right skin color. That's right. Having dark skin and a vagina is an instant path to the Oval Office. All right?

If you don't believe me, take it up with Ronald Reagan's black pussy.

Listen, man, this argument is so stupid to me. If being a woman or a minority was the golden ticket to getting ahead in politics, then President Andrew Yang would have already done universal basic income and President Kanye West would have already changed the national anthem to gold digger, okay? I mean, I've looked at pictures of the last 46 presidents and it sure seems like there's one identity in particular that gives you a leg up. White, white man.

I'm just saying, Donald Trump would not have gotten the job if his first name was Donnell, all right? He'd be evicting himself. He'd be evicting himself from his own apartments before his career could begin. But for the sake of argument, let's suppose Kamala was given a chance because of her identity. She still had to do something with it on her own. And Kamala has done a great job as vice president. Remember that one big thing she did?

Me neither, okay? And that's exactly what you want in a VP, someone who doesn't make the news. A VP is like a carbon monoxide detector. You want to have one, but if it makes any noise, something's going wrong, okay? In fact... That's right. Um...

In fact, the last time I remember a vice president doing anything that made the news, it was this. Vice President Dick Cheney apparently broke the number one rule of hunting this weekend when he accidentally shot a friend in the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Accidentally. Just like he accidentally invaded the wrong country after 9-11. Yeah. Now that I think about it, Dick Cheney made the news a lot. Don't be like Dick Cheney. I know.

And this is yet another weird thing about Republicans. They always say that liberals are obsessed with race, but they're the ones who can't stop thinking about it. They had a blank slate to build a narrative around Kamala Harris, and they immediately went 1860 on us because they got black on the brain. And Republicans aren't only saying Kamala is too black, they're also saying she's not black enough.

Early in her career, she identified as South Asian. Now she is considered an African American woman. Is she black? Is she Indian? Nobody knows. Kamala's Indian black heritage or whatever it is she wants to be today. One year she's black, the next year she's of South Asian descent. She was Indian all the way and then all of a sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a black person. Just to be clear.

I don't know if you know this or not, but you can be both. Yeah. And I don't want to break your brains, but two isn't even the most racist a person can be. Yeah. Bruno Mars is the most racist a person can be.

And we know what's going on here. All of these attacks are to paint Kamala as just one big phony. Going to Georgia two days ago and putting on a fake southern accent when you were raised in Canada. Whoa. So wait, she's faking being black and she's Canadian? Well, that's the worst thing you can call somebody this year. Drake. And...

It's been a rough year for Drake. And if I were a white Republican, I'd be a little worried about Democrats flipping this on me. If Republicans are appointing themselves the black police, Dems could become the white police because not all whites are MAGA whites. You got kombucha whites. You got cargo short whites. You got Stanley Cup whites. Both kinds of Stanley Cup, hockey and beverage. You've even got whatever kind of white JoJo Siwa is.

White people around the country watch that clip like, she not like us, she not like us. But honestly, I'm not even mad at Republicans for bringing up Kamala's race. They've got a job to do, and they're doing it the only way they know how. The real bullshit is the media for hearing the Republican talking points and treating it like it's a real story.

The Vice President's racial identity has been in the news. Identity heritage is newly injected into the race. Why is former President Trump questioning the Vice President's racial identity? Talk about racial identity dominated the headlines. The claims about Vice President Harris's identity will probably make the most headlines.

What do you mean these claims will make the most headlines? CNN, MSNBC, ABC, you're the ones who decide what the headlines are. These issues don't make headlines unless you put it in the headline.

And none of these issues should be a headline. If a guy came up to me on the street saying, the vice president is a chameleon. She can transform from Indian to black. I'd seat it. I'd be like, well, God bless you, sir. Here's $2.00.

I gotta go. Okay. All right. Media, if you need headlines, it's not like it's a shortage of important issues in this election. You got immigration. You got the economy. You got reproductive rights. The best place to dispose of a roadkill bear cub

Those are things that we need to be talking about, okay? Or maybe spend some time looking at how the GOP is already planning on how to steal the election by having corrupt state officials refuse to certify the results, getting corrupt judges to back them up before the whole thing goes to the corrupt Supreme Court that's already anointed Donald Trump a king so now they can overturn the results of the election to declare him the winner in exchange for a new RV. But, hey, man.

What do I know? That's just my opinion.

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if

If it's got to be clean, it's got to be tied. Get ready for a full month of fiesta y cultura because it's time for Viva Tucson. Let's celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month como nunca antes in true Tucson style from September 15th to October 15th. Join us for Comida.

Música y eventos that you won't find anywhere else. Our rich history and traditions make the Old Pueblo the perfect place para celebrar y aprender. Mark your calendars so you don't miss out on this celebración. Visita visittucson.org slash viva.