Jordan Klepper Recaps Barack Obama Sizing Up Trump & More DNC Night 2 Highlights | Gov. Wes Moore
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When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Doan of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple Podcasts.

You're listening to Comedy Central. From Chicago, where conventions always go really, really well. It's The Daily Show's Indecision 2020 Point. A democratic national convention broadcast with your host, Jordan Klepper. Welcome to The Daily Show. I am Jordan Klepper. Hello. Hello.

And we are here in Chicago, everybody. Oh, wait! I gotta say, I gotta say, this week has been lovely for me personally because I spent some seriously formative years living in Chicago doing comedy. So, yes, yes, thank you. This city is in my blood, and by that, I mean I suffer from a duck's hot dog-induced cholesterol problem. Worth it.

But we're here to talk about the Democratic National Convention. So, let's get into Indecision 2024. Yesterday was night two of the DNC, and the positive vibes were still going strong. People were dancing. They were singing. They were cheering. They were putting Invisalign in. Poor bastard. Poor bastard.

He's thinking, there's 20,000 people in this arena. There's no way the camera's going to be pointed at me for two seconds while I take out my Invisalign. In front of the whole world. You know, his dentist was like, the best part of Invisalign is that no one will ever know you have it. And...

I mean, who is the cameraman who staked out this guy for 30 hours just to get that two-second shot, you know? This is a convention, not a planet Earth shoot. Watch the aging liberal slowly prepare his mouth to attract a mate. Now, the actual purpose of the convention is to officially nominate the party's presidential ticket, and they do that through a state roll call. Here's what that looked like at the Republican convention a few weeks ago.

Pursuant to the announcement of the delegation and the rules and procedures of this convention, Oklahoma, 43 votes, President Trump. I get it. A lady who runs an orphanage counts the votes and that's that. But last night, the Democrats changed things up a bit. Georgia, how do you cast your vote?

I didn't know politics was so lit. I'm going to start voting.

I just know that when Little John wrote this song, he was thinking to himself, this will absolutely rip at the 2024 Democrat National Convention. I'd love to hear someone explaining to the older white delegates who Little John is. He's a rapper, mom, you know, that musical genre invented by Lin-Manuel Miranda. They actually had a DJ spinning songs from each state as they came up.

He played Motown Philly for Pennsylvania, a Chapel Roan song for her home state of Missouri. Iowa probably had Happy Birthday or some shit. Not a big music state. Personally, I can't wait to see my home state of Michigan show up. Oh, yeah!

Palms are sweaty, mom's spaghetti. You got the mic, Michigan. Make me proud. Michigan, how do you cast your vote? This November, we're going to win together. Michigan, cast three presents. 125 votes. Michigan, you embarrassed me. Michigan. Come on.

Michigan, how did you mess that up? You can't say a simple number, but you know how to say Ypsilanti? Come on! This is why you go to rehearsal, ladies. You literally only had one shot and you missed your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo! You know what? Let's see if Illinois did any better.

Okay

Started out strong. Seems like a pretty steep drop-off from presidents and skyscrapers to the adopted home of a made-up comic book character. I mean, you had nothing in between that? Like, Michael Jordan? I don't know. Come on, JB. Come on. I mean...

Last time I checked, there's no Superman Steakhouse in Chicago. For more on the DNC roll call, let's go live now to the Illinois delegation with Desi Lydic. Desi, Desi, look, Desi, I...

I gotta know what you think. The adopted home of Superman? What do you make of that choice? Well, that was a huge missed opportunity, Jordan. The committee claims that this was the best they could come up with, but there's so many better options when you're talking about a great state like Illinois. Sure. Right. Obviously.

Of course. So what would you have gone with? Well, I've been here since Monday, so I'm officially an expert on Illinois history. How about Illinois, home of the notorious serial killer John Wayne Gacy? Don't think that would have played, Desi. Okay, okay. Or Illinois, where four of our last ten governors went to prison. Okay. That is good.

I don't know. I don't think that one's better. Okay, fine. What about Illinois? In the winter, you'll freeze your tits off. Okay, I think we're good. Desi Lydic, everybody. Let's move on. I want to move on because after the roll call, it was time for the speeches, and the headliners were Barack and Michelle Obama. America, hope is making a comeback.

America's ready for a new chapter. America's ready for a better story. We are ready for a President Kamala Harris. You know what? I almost forgot how charming and inspirational the Obamas are. Frankly, it's a shot of adrenaline to see these masters of the craft. You sort of want to sit in it. You know, I almost don't want to listen to anybody else.

You know what? The Democrats have been telling us they have a deep bench. So let's see these exciting up-and-comers tap into the energy and the charisma of the Obamas. In my state, we like things spicy. A little chili on everything. A little kick in our campaigns. And let me tell you, we are feeling en fuego right now. You know what?

Maybe another quick hit of that Obama charm for a second. We believe that true freedom gives each of us the right to make decisions about our own life, how we worship, what our family looks like, how many kids we have, who we marry. And we believe that freedom requires us to recognize that other people have the freedom to make choices that are different than ours. That's okay. Boom!

Oh, that's the good stuff, you know. Inject that hope and changey shit into my veins. Whoa. You know, but I can't just get high off these guys all night, you know. There's other products out there, like Kamala Harris' husband, Doug Emhoff, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Why don't I give him a chance to touch my heart with his moving story of the first time he called Kamala for a date. I got Kamala's voicemail and I just started rambling. Hey, it's Doug. Yeah, yeah, that sure is a Doug. Has there ever been a more guy named Doug in history? If your name's Doug, this is who you are.

But maybe, maybe we're asking too much of Doug. He's a political spouse. You don't expect a political spouse to be able to rile up a crowd. I wanna know, I wanna know, who's gonna tell him, who's gonna tell him that the job he's currently seeking might just be one of those black jobs? Oh, that's not a Doug. Not an ounce of Doug on it.

Don't the Democrats have anyone else who can tap into that cool Obama swagger? Please welcome Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. No, no. That's a dog. That is a dog.

I'm sorry, when you see these two up on stage, it's very clear that for all the talk Democrats have about not looking back, they sure love to live in 2008. And frankly, who can blame them? Nobody else in their party can capture their vision of the future or speak to their values. And perhaps most importantly, nobody else can get under Trump's skin in just the right way. There's the childish nickname.

the crazy conspiracy theories, this weird obsession with crowd sizes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I, yeah, I see what he did there. Yeah, yeah, that's, that's brutal. That's the second time this summer the Secret Service has failed to protect Trump from a lethal attack. Yeah.

For more on the dick joke heard round the bean, let's go live to Ronny Chang. Ronny, Ronny, I gotta say, Ronny, if you get online or on TV, everyone is talking about that dick joke. That's right, Jordan. That's the new Democratic messaging. Weird is out, Trump's got a small penis is in. Oh, okay.

Okay, so that's it? They're not using weird anymore? Oh, no, no, no. Sorry for the confusion. It's both. His penis is small and weird. Oh, okay. All right. All right. So that's it? No policy? It's just going to be immature innuendo from now on? Yes, the dick jokes are a major attack line, and they're only going to get bigger. Then smaller. Then after a brief refractory period of up to 15 minutes, huge again.

So, right now, it's just a hand gesture. Next week, they're going to say the border wall isn't the only thing Trump can't get up. And by election night, Obama's going to be like, this guy's dick is small. Oh, okay. Okay, but so what? Trump will just deny it. Jordan, I don't think that's going to be enough because Obama knows his game plan. He's going to say, prove it. Show us the GERF certificate. I would be...

I'd be careful, Ronnie. Trump might actually whip out his genitals. Right. Well, if he does, that would be a microaggression. You see how easy this is. It's not hot at all. Just like Trump's penis. Okay. Okay. Okay. Look, Ronnie, I don't think it's going to be effective to ignore policy and just accuse your opponents of having small dicks. I mean, whatever happened to when they go low, we go high?

Oh yeah, whatever happened to that brilliant 2016 strategy that totally worked out for them. I mean, face it, Jordan, taking the moral high ground doesn't work anymore. Just like Trump's dick. Great political discourse. Ronny Chieng, everybody. When we come back, we try to interview Tim Lowe. So don't go away.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Doan of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple Podcasts.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. We're just a few miles away from the convention here in Chicago and all the Democratic stars. And our Grace Kuhlenschmidt went over to try to interview one of the biggest. I came to the convention with a dream, to interview Tim Walz, also known as America's Dad. This is America's Dad. Quote, Big Dad Energy. Big Dad Energy. Unfortunately, America's Dad seemed to be a very difficult interview to get. Governor Walz.

Governor Walz. Governor Walz. Governor Walz is doing his best job ignoring me right now. If I was going to catch Tim Walz, I needed to lure him in with a trap that a dad could not resist. Can anyone help me with this tie for my date? Shoot, shoot, shoot. Does anyone know how to use a stud finder? Anyone know how to baseball score sheet by hand? Does anyone want this copy of Rudy on Blu-ray?

Come on. I know you want it. And now we wait. Who are you most excited to hear talk today? I'm really looking forward to seeing Barack Obama. You're cute. Do you happen to have a convertible you could recklessly drive me around in? Hope no one's within earshot who might want to put their foot down and stop this ill-advised romance. Got hot dogs leading up to a Bengay and a beer. Perfect trap for Tim Walls.

I'm gonna smoke a cigarette unless someone stops me. Hope no one catches me, makes me smoke the whole pack to learn a lesson. Whoa, I'm going absolutely crazy now. Oh geez. Oh my God, I just got a ticket to a Roy Orbison cover band. Does anyone want it?

Anyone know if there is an LLB nearby? I don't know if I'll get to the voting booth this year. I don't know how to drive stick. Is there anyone here who could teach me? Is there anyone here? Downtrodden and deflated, I had one last idea. I don't know if this fire extinguisher is up to code. I see the 2024 R on here. I see February punched out. Are you Tim Walz? No. All right, never mind. Thank you, guys! Yeah!

more will be going to me on the show. That's all.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. You rolling? But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Doan of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is the Democratic governor of Maryland. Please welcome Governor Wes Moore. Wow. That's some Midwest love. That's some Midwest. This must be a Democratic audience in here. Yeah.

I don't know. We can check on that. I'm not sure. Wes, let me get this straight. You are a Rhodes Scholar, a college football athlete, an Army combat veteran, a nonprofit CEO, and a governor of Maryland. Fair to say the most impressive resume on LinkedIn? I don't know, man. I haven't seen yours yet. If people like an improv teacher for 10 years, then they're going to be very impressed.

You're speaking tonight at the convention. I am speaking tonight. Yes. I'm excited for it. I spent a little time over there talking to people yesterday, and there is an energy. People keep talking about this vibe. I'm curious what you've seen, and do you think this energy now is actually going to translate into electoral success? It will, and the vibe and the energy is real because I think both people see that there is a clear path to victory, and they understand what's at stake.

I think that we have this kind of unique thing that's happening right now where we both have the moment and you have the candidate. Where you have both the moment of people understanding that it's... We're talking about the ideas of economic freedoms. We're talking about the fact that we should be a country that should be respected. We're talking about we should be a country that actually has a chance. Where the idea of an American dream shouldn't be a punchline for communities. Right? And...

And we have a candidate whose life embodies fighting for freedoms, whose life embodies protecting us from predators, whose life embodies standing up and raising her hand when the country asked her to. And so I think this combination that we have right now of Vice President Harris and Governor Walz is great because it's like, this is what victory feels like. And this will mean being proud of your country, Governor.

Sounds like you're measuring some drapes here. Is that right? Well, no, because we have work to do. You know, listen, and I remember, you know, when I joined the Army when I was 17 years old. In fact, I, like, real talk, real talk. When I first joined, I was so young, my mother had to sign the paperwork for me. Really? Yeah. But after my teenage years, she signed whatever paperwork the Army put in front of her. It was actually pretty easy. But we learned something there. It was this idea that nothing is given. Everything is earned.

Nothing is given. Everything is earned. Right? And I think the way we are looking at this race right now is we've got to go earn it. We've got to go earn it with every voter. We've got to go earn it with every community. We've got to go earn it with every constituency. And we have now 76 days to go out there and earn it, and that's exactly what we plan on doing. Now, I think... I will say, though, there...

There's an excitement, but a criticism is there's not a lot of policy right now. And there's a big question. How would the Kamala Harris administration look different than what the Biden administration would look like? Do you see this as a continuation of the Biden policies or a marked difference with the Kamala Harris administration? Well, one thing I want to be fair, the policies and the impacts that we've seen from President Biden and the Biden-Harris administration have been pretty remarkable. And so we cannot...

This idea, this idea that the vice president, in order to win or in order to have a successful presidency, should do some hard pivot from the work that her and President Biden did together, I would just say the only problem with that argument is facts aren't on your side. Right? That let's forget, when the president took over, we just finished, we almost had an attempted coup in this country. I know, I was there. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Working, working, to be clear, working. Yes. Yes.

I'm glad we established that difference. Just to be clear. This goes on tape and the election doesn't go the way you want. I want it to be very clear. But I think the idea of her putting out policies, I think she's already begun to do that. She's already talked about things like she is going to have an expansion of the child tax credit to $6,000, which, by the way, which would be one of the most... Which...

When she enacts that, when she enacts that, that is going to be one of the most effective ways to fight child poverty that we have seen in this nation's history. So she's already starting to put things out that are really important and get us very excited. Do you imagine, so...

In Maryland, you've been pushing some pretty progressive angles when it comes to climate change, gun control, health care. Do you see the Harris administration following suit and helping in that way? Well, I think that everything we've gotten done in Maryland has been because we've had a great partner in the Biden-Harris administration. I mean, look at what's happened in our state. When I was inaugurated, Maryland was ranked 43rd in the country in unemployment, right? Now, for 12 straight months, Maryland has amongst the lowest unemployment rates in the entire country. All right.

Our employment rate right now is 2.8%. That we said we have now have a legalized cannabis market inside the state of Maryland. But I said, I said, there's no way that we are going to celebrate the benefits of legalization if we do not address the consequences of criminalization. And so, and so...

So about, you know, a couple months ago, I signed the largest mass pardon for cannabis convictions in the history of the United States. But the reason I bring those things up is this. It was all done because I had the right partner in Washington. I had a White House that actually saw us.

that worked with us. And so all the momentum that we are seeing when it comes to economic growth, the momentum... Maryland now has the fastest drop in homicides and violent crimes in the entire country right now. This is all happening because we have the right kind of partner that we need in Washington. And to be clear, is now an appropriate time to celebrate the legalization of marijuana? Oh. I'm just, uh...

My parents are in the audience. I just want to sign off from a governor in case I choose to partake. Yes. I'm curious, as an Army veteran, Tim Waltz is catching some flack from people on the right about, as they would characterize it, a mischaracterizing of his credentials as a vet. Yeah.

Is there any amount of service that Republicans won't criticize? Like, how do you see that? I mean, listen, it's disappointing. It's disingenuous. And frankly, it's pretty dangerous. And particularly, I'm going to be very honest, the fact that this is coming from J.D. Vance...

It's actually comical. And I'm going to tell you why. J.D. Vance, and I deeply respect the service of Corporal J.D. Vance, the work that he did in the military. He should also deeply respect the service of Sergeant Major Tim Waltz. And I'm not as...

I'm not as well-versed in the pecking order, but it seems like Sergeant Major is a pretty good one. Yeah, you know, like, you know, listen, when you join the military, if you stay in for a certain amount of time, you hit corporal, right? Less than 1% of all non-commissioned officers will hit the rank of Sergeant Major, okay? So this is just fact. Most people, if you stay in long enough, you hit corporal. Oh, oh, I see, okay.

Stop wasting your time hanging out on that couch, right? That's right. That's right. But you know, I do. And it goes back to this whole idea of patriotism, which I do. Listen, I served my country and I led soldiers in combat in Afghanistan. I'm deeply proud of my service. I am in love with my country.

I love this country. And I just find it really interesting that, you know, that we're watching on the other side where there's like the idea of patriotism means like having sexual relations with the flag on the side, which, which by the way, just a, just a total tie comment. I don't know what is up with that ticket and their obsession with fabrics. Dave.

They really, they must love the feel on the skin, I suppose. They love the feel on the skin. Nothing like it. Yeah, do soldiers, do they respect somebody humping the flag? That seems like an action of disrespect. I saw you post about your speech tonight that was going to be tough. I'm curious what you have in store. I'm also curious, in watching this, who the audience is for the DNC. You know, I think a lot of the audience is going to be, for me, it's the people who are the disaffected. Mm-hmm.

It's the people who, you know, when we say people who are undecided, it's not even just the people who are undecided between Vice President Kamala Harris and Donald Trump. It's the people who are undecided if they're going to go out to the polls. And I tell you, it's actually very personal to me because when I ran for governor, I had some family members who I had to convince to vote for me.

Oh yeah, real talk. And it wasn't that I'm not cool with my family. It sounds like that might be it. That might be it. Could be it. It might be a little bit of that, actually. If you were cool with your family, it might be easier. But I had to convince them to vote. Like, I don't come from a political family. I don't come from a political background. That's not something, it's not like, like I have members of my family who are like, oh man, election day was last week.

But that's real. You know what I mean? And I think that's real for a lot of folks. I think that the demo that we've got to speak to are the ones, frankly, who still hold a measure of skepticism in their heart, who look at the history of this country and say, you know what, this country hasn't always been fair. And we have to be honest and look at them and say, you're right. That they can say, you know what, the history of this country has been uneven. And you have to look at them and say, spot on. However, however, we...

We do have to be clear that you can hold that skepticism in your heart, and you should, but that does not mean disengage. Because the people, some of the greatest patriots that we have had in our history are people who actually understood the measure of brokenness that we had in our politics and who still showed up every day and fought for a better country. That's what we need.

Some have said you might have aspirations for that big office someday. After watching politics over the last 12 years, I guess my question would be, why? I got to tell you, I cannot be more excited to have Kamala Harris to be the next president of the United States. And let me tell you why. I remember when, months ago, when the Key Bridge collapsed in Baltimore.

And I remember at 2:02 in the morning when my phone rang and I was told that we now had thousands of workers who now lost their jobs. We now had 13% of my economy that was shut down. And that we had six workers who were fixing potholes in 180 feet in the air that night who are now missing. And I remember one of the first calls I got that morning was from Vice President Kamala Harris. I cannot tell you enough

how much it means to have a vice president, and the president called me that morning as well. First phone call I got from the White House was at 3.30 that morning. As a chief executive, as someone who believes in my state and believes in our people, I cannot tell you enough how much it means to have a White House that is willing to be your partner in the work and that's willing to support you in that work and who understands that everybody should be seen and supported whether they voted for you or not. Governor Westmoreland, everyone. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Doan of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, wherever you get your podcasts.

That's our show for tonight. Join us tomorrow for the final night of the DNC where we go live at 1130 with your host, Jon Stewart. Now here it is. Obama, while decrying polarization in the country, did make a you-know-what joke. But with Obama, because he's so classy, it seemed really funny to make the anatomy joke. He was officially talking about crowd sizes, but there was clearly something else underneath it. You know what he was doing. He was being slick right there, being slick, former president.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.

Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 central and streaming on Paramount+.

When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Doan of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple Podcasts.