Gaffe Watch 2012: Romney Challenges Obama’s Re-Election | TDS Time Machine
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You're listening to Comedy Central. On Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. Our guest tonight, Dambisa Moyo. She is an economist promoting her new book, Winner Take All. It's about how China will be our overlords, but benevolently so.

Last night, by the way, we discussed a certain Republican nominee's gaff-filled trip to London, or as they call gaffs in London, floggy queefers. It's true. It's true. It's what they call gaffs in England. Well, you can imagine how excited the Romney campaign must be to escape from our greatest ally and head to Poland to reset Romney's foreign policy bona fides.

Another hiccup from Mitt Romney's campaign this morning. The traveling press secretary for Romney, Rick Gorka, lost his cool and cursed at reporters near the tomb of the unknown soldier in Warsaw. So how did the press secretary end up cursing at reporters near the tomb? What set him off? Governor Romney, do you have a statement for the Palestinians? What about your gaffes? What about your gaffes? Sir, they're called floggy queefers.

Do you have any new gaffs in the works or nip slips or up skirts? Why did Kristen Stewart cheat on arts? Answer the ques- Wow. So apparently the frustrated reporters were somewhat testing the line between questions and heckles. Release the gorka! Show some respect to- We haven't had another chance to ask him questions. This is a holy site for the Polish people. Show some respect.

Have a little decorum, you sucking piece of . This is sacred mother ground now. Why don't you and your friends go eat a gorka? My God, this guy's cursing like a Filipino diplomat. I mean, I'm sorry. I was being corrected. A diplomat to the Philippines. Not a Filipino diplomat. My gaffe. Trouble in England...

for answering questions, trouble in Poland for ignoring questions. I believe there was a third country Romney visited in between the two. Hopefully that will be a place where people aren't so overly sensitive or prone to complaining or heckling. Let's see, where was it? Mitt Romney visited Israel this weekend. It could be what? I'm excited to see how Romney screws the pooch on this one. Would he open a speech with, greetings future Mormons, or, uh...

Maybe just kept asking everyone in Israel where the rest of their baseball cap was. Israel's achievements are a wonder of the modern world. These achievements are a tribute to the resilience of the Israeli people. That wasn't a gag. No insult to anybody there. No indelicate behavior near sacred grounds. Romney's pulling it off.

Your innovators and entrepreneurs have made the desert bloom and have made for a better world. Okay, now you're just kissing ass. And how delicious is tabouli? I mean, I can't believe you figured out how to make an edible salad that's mostly parsley and bulgur wheat. I'm particularly impressed with Israel's cutting-edge technologies and thriving economy. And your language, so beautiful, it sounds like an angel with throat cancer. Ah-ha-ha-ha.

Romney screwed up in England, he screwed up in Poland, I managed to head to Israel without saying or doing anything particularly offensive or horrible. Speaking at a fundraiser in Jerusalem Monday, Romney commented on the economic disparity between Israel and the surrounding Palestinian areas saying, quote, "You notice such a dramatically stark difference in economic vitality. Culture makes all the difference." Missed it by that much. So close.

So Romney appears to be saying that the Palestinians are purely the architects of their own poverty. Or if you prefer to look at the converse, that Jews are just culturally some money-making mother away. Mr. Romney doubled down. This morning he suggested Israel was more prosperous because it had the hand of providence.

Romney appears to be saying that while Palestinian despair has its roots in their culture, God is also holding them down. Or, if you prefer to look at the converse, Israel's economic progress is evidence of the Hand of Providence. Going to assume that all the horrible s*** that happened to the Jews prior to that was the Hand of Providence's middle finger. In case you believe Romney is singling out Israel and the Palestinians, he is not.

You notice a dramatic, stark difference in economic vitality, he said, and that is also between other countries that are near or next to each other. Chile and Ecuador, Mexico and the United States. Culture makes all the difference. You know, like Mississippi and New York. Romney 2012! For more, we turn to Senior International Culture Analyst Al Madrigal. He is in the West Bank. Al, thank you for joining us. Al, what is your take

What is your take on Governor Romney's comments about these cultural differences? He's absolutely right, John. I mean, it's got to be the culture. Look at the way these Palestinians live. I mean, the house behind me looks like it was hit by a bulldozer. Rubble everywhere. I mean, straighten up, people.

You know, I'm not sure they're actually crazy about the rubble situation either. Right. But a superior culture like America or Israel would see this rubble and make rubble aid. I mean, start some type of rubble-related businesses. Surplus rubble outlet store. Produce some rubble-related TV shows. This old rubble. Flip this rubble.

-Rubble 100 is international. -Sure. These guys are leaving shekels on the table. Look, I'd do it myself, but I'm Mexican, so... as Governor Romney said, I just don't have the culture to pull it off.

Have you by any chance, while you've been over in the West Bank, have you noticed any other factors other than culture that might have been contributing to less-than-healthy economic development there? It starts with an O. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The roads. It's like... They don't even understand what they're for. Roads are supposed to help you get to places. And Palestinians just throw walls up. I mean, it's like living in a maze. No wonder traffic's backed up for months. Yeah, look...

Those are checkpoints. Well, whatever they're called, the advanced cultures have a little something called easy pass. Yeah. I don't... I don't think that's...

I don't remember stopping every 20 feet on the Jersey Turnpike and having a guy with a gun probing me doodads, all right? These people better get better culture pronto. No, checkpoints are not a cultural preference of the Palestinians. The bull... that they have to go through on a daily basis... Hey, hey, hey. John, kiss my ass. This is a holy site, all right? Show some respect. No, just...

- Show some respect, you shut the up. - You shut the up. You shut the up. - You shut the up. - You're not on a holy site. This is a holy site. - Everything's a holy site over there. You shut the up. - You shut the up. - Shut the up. - Look, John, all I'm saying is this, culture is the only explanation for why the Palestinians are less prosperous. I mean, how long have the Palestinians lived around here? - I don't know, thousands of years. - Right, and they still don't even have their own country. All right, Israel.

Israel's been around for 60 years, and counting Florida, they got two. Thank you, Al. Al Magid, everybody. We'll be right back. You guys... Do you remember Dick Cheney? He's kind of an older guy. He's about this high, about this pleasant. He, um... He'd been out of the spotlight for a little while, but he got himself a little fresh ticker about a few months ago there, and he decided to take that ticker out for a spin on national television.

ABC's Jonathan Karl has an exclusive interview with former Vice President Dick Cheney. What he says Mitt Romney should look for in a vice presidential candidate. Let me just, uh, why are you asking him? I mean, he was in charge of finding a vice president for George W. Bush and picked himself. Who does that? But alright, what does Dick Cheney look for in a vice president when he doesn't have a

Dick Cheney type on his short list. The test to get on that small list has to be, is this person capable of being president of the United States? Sure. No, that's a good point. You picked the wrong BP. You don't know what they're going to do, whether it be their thoughts on an upcoming invasion. My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.

I'm sure it was. Or perhaps their thoughts on the strength of the post-invasion non-greeting. I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency. Yeah, they weren't. Or maybe their VP would engage in some lighthearted near manslaughter. Vice President Dick Cheney has accidentally shot and injured a man during a hunting trip in Texas. Remember that? Remember that time? You guys remember there was, um... At one time, you thought your friend was a bird?

And shot him in the face. - Face in the face! - But go on. Any examples of vice presidential searches gone awry in your recent memory? - I think that that was one of the problems McCain had. I like Governor Palin. I don't think she passed that test. - Of being ready? - Of being ready to take over. And I think that was a mistake. - Oh no, you did not. Did you just call out John McCain?

Well, you just woke up a cranky giant, my friend. And it's on, 'cause folks, right now we got ourselves a classic old man fight. Let's get ready to grumble. Old Man Fights, brought to you by Old Man Smell, a heady mix of discontinued colognes from the 1960s and belligerents. Old Man Smell, it's not cheese.

Tonight's main event, the Wyoming Whirlwind against the Animal from Arizona. Time for round one. - Get on! - You gonna take that, McCain? - Well, I'm always glad to get comments four years later. - That is the scariest laugh I've ever heard in my life. That is not a laugh. That is the last sound you hear before you realize that John McCain has just ripped out your heart and is holding it in front of your face. Missing something, old friend?

But obviously you can't defeat Cheney by ripping his heart out. He does that himself every night and puts it in a glass by his bed. Come on, Cheney! Counterpunch! I like Governor Palin, but based on her background, she'd only been governor for about two years. Ooh, point Cheney!

He is right about that. Only two years. And even then, she couldn't get out of there soon enough. All right, fellas. Let's keep it clean out there. And round two. This Frisbee's mine now. I respect the vice president. He and I had strong disagreements as to whether we should torture people or not. I don't think we should have. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did I pick the wrong vice president? You torture mother...

McCain not only played the torture card, he licked the back of that card and struck it on Cheney's forehead so that you could... That is a knockout! Wow! What an old man fight. Before we go, though, I just want to thank the good people at Old Man Smell. Stay smelly, my friends. We'll be right back. Welcome back, my guest tonight, an international economist. She's also a best-selling author. Her new book is called Winner Take All, China's Race for Resources and What It Means for the World. Please welcome to the program, Dambisa Moyo.

Nice to see you. Good to see you. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. The book is called Winner Takes All. It's fascinating. You have cataloged that China has been tenaciously gathering commodities for the coming apocalypse.

Is that-- is that their plan? No, that's not their plan. I mean, obviously they have a big agenda in front of them. They've got 1.3 billion people, 300 million people that sort of live like us and sort of Western standards of living, and a billion people who are living in dire poverty. So their most important priority is to make sure that they can deliver economic growth and improve livelihoods for the population. And so the way they've decided to do it is-- in the old days, the way we would do it is we would conquer a nation.

And, uh, we would say, "What do you have in that mountain?"

They would take it. China has chosen a slightly different approach. What's been their approach? So their approach is much more friendly. They really are focused on symbiosis. So in that sense, they are offering places like South America, Africa, and also developed economies like Canada and Australia exactly what these places need. In the emerging markets where 90% of the world's population lives, people are incredibly poor, but they're trying to improve their livelihoods. They need trade. They need investment. 60 to 70% of the

population in these places under the age of 24, so they need job creation, something I'm sure Americans are very familiar with. And the Chinese operate it. Sorry, job creation, I'm not actually familiar with that type of situation. So the Chinese are doing that. The image that I have of China is of, you know, slave labor practices and rapacious...

terrible environmentalism. But you're suggesting that these other countries, including some that are our allies, almost prefer dealing with the Chinese. So, of course, there are issues. There are always skirmishes and issues as two partners come together trying to engage in economic trade or foreign direct investment. But I think that China's getting a really bad rap. If you go across the emerging world, I've been...

fortunate enough to go to over 50 countries. And if you ask people in these places, "What do you think about the Chinese?" by and large, the sentiment is very positive. People want jobs. People want to improve their livelihoods. And the Chinese are willing to engage with them. It's not to say that they're perfect, but I think it needs to be put in that context. I'm not--obviously, I'm not an economist. I don't want to pull rank at you. You've been to 50 countries. I've been to Epcot Center, and I can tell you that the reputation of the Chinese there, not as positive.

So how do you counter that? Well, it's a hard one to counter, I'll tell you, John. But what can we do? So they are... The idea is we have this enormous burgeoning population. They're going to need electricity. They're going to need water. They're going to need all these things. We are going to start setting the market for those things. Why aren't we doing that? Why aren't we going to Africa instead of... Obviously, we give a lot of aid around the world, but are we also making these commodities contracts?

Well, I wish you were. I wish America would take a much more positive lead around engagement with the emerging markets. Take the case of aid in particular. There's no country in the history of the world that has achieved economic growth and reduced poverty in a meaningful way by relying on aid to the extent that African countries rely on aid today. So you look around the Western, and particularly the United States,

to economic development, and I think it has been left wanting. And people are very antsy. It's been 50 years for many of these countries. I mean, look what's happening in India now. You've got 300 people that have no access to electricity over the last several days. They need electricity. We want America to be engaged in a positive way to deliver resources and to deliver changes to people's livelihoods. But I think there's...

different discourse going on. Does that have to come from central government? I mean, China does have the advantage of not having to take a vote. Can they just go-- you know, aren't our multinationals engaging in these markets? Isn't Exxon and all these other companies, aren't they selling them coal and electricity and these types of things? Well, the tone comes from the top. And if you listen to some of the rhetoric that comes out of policymakers in the United States, it's still very negative. We'll take the example of Africa, for example.

There's very rarely a discussion around Africa being an investment destination or a place for trade. Africa's got a billion people, but it's less than 2% of world trade. And as I said, these countries need investment, they need trade. We would hope that American policymakers would take the lead and say, we want American companies to engage in Africa instead of taking the approach that Africa's a basket case and it's a place for charity. And it's that discourse that I think is missing right now in American politics.

Do you think that the American politicians are also afraid of the corruption that goes on there, and how does China face up with that? Oh, right. So, I mean, I think that there's a sense, quite an unfortunate sense, that somehow China's more corrupt than some of the practices that we see coming from other countries around the world. And I think that's... Of course, there have been things like the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977 from the United States. Oh, that was a great act. LAUGHTER

One of the top. I remember that year. The book is called Winter Takes All. You should read this because once the Chinese are ruling us, they're probably going to make us read it anyway. Denbigh Samoyo. That's our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11. I just want to very quickly let you know that Denbigh Samoyo knows more about everything than me.

Here it is, your moment of zen. The Campaign, a new movie starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis. There are actually some pretty racy scenes in this, but it really has quite a message, doesn't it? Yeah. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.