Biden’s ‘Garbage’ Gaffe, JD Vance’s Likability Coach, and The Linda Lindas
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Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Ronnie. The Daily Show.

We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump and Kamala having a garbage fight. RFK Jr. is your new primary care doctor. And we find out why J.D. Vance is the most charismatic man alive. So let's get into the last week of Indecision 2024. Election day is less than a week away, so it's time for the candidates to offer their closing arguments. Donald Trump held a rally at Madison Square Garden that attacked Puerto Ricans, blacks, Jews, women, Asians, Samoans, immigrants, and

And last night, Kamala Harris went in a different direction. With the White House illuminated behind her and in front of 75,000 supporters, Vice President Harris delivered her closing message. America, for too long, we have been consumed with too much division, chaos, and mutual distrust. And it can be easy, then, to forget a simple truth. It doesn't have to be this way.

It doesn't have to be this way. It is time to stop pointing fingers. We have to stop pointing fingers and start locking arms. - Yeah, you fingers, it's arm time. That was Kamala's closing argument. Stop all the finger pointing, you babies, and heal the divisions like empathetic adults.

Now, time for her to sit back and let the positive vibes emanate across the nation.

Wait. Hang on.

Joe Biden is still the president? And what, he's worse than the Civil War? What the hell is going on? I mean, calling Trump supporters garbage right before the election feels like a crazy thing to say, even if you believe that. I mean, just wait six more days, man. I want to know, what did he actually say? Just the other day, a speaker at his rally called Puerto Rico a floating island of garbage. The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters.

his demonization of Tina is unconscionable, and it's un-American. -Okay, I guess it's unclear if he's calling Trump supporters garbage or just the guy who called Puerto Rico garbage garbage. I don't know. Maybe more context will give us some more clarity. What did he say just before this? -Well, let me tell you something. I don't know the Puerto Rican that I know or Puerto Rico where I'm in my home state of Delaware. -Oh.

I see. This guy is too old and his brain is a floating pile of garbage. Of course.

Now, the Dems don't want to admit that the President of the United States should not be using a computer unsupervised, so they went with this explanation. The White House very quickly tried to argue that when he used the word supporters, he wasn't talking about Trump supporters writ large, but that there was an apostrophe in there. That is what is included in the official transcript. They tried to argue that he was specifically referencing the comments from that comedian at the Madison Square Garden rally on Sunday.

That's right. In the last week of the campaign, Republicans are calling for a roundup of immigrants, and Democrats are like, "You have to put the apostrophe in the right place." This election is really coming down to Nazis versus grammar Nazis. And if Democrats are relying on Americans to understand how apostrophes work, then this election is because have you ever seen a sign outside a bar? I mean, they basically use an apostrophe to mean, "Here comes an ass."

And, look, Republicans...

Republicans aren't accepting any of these excuses because they don't know what an apostrophe is. And they think it's intentional that Biden called them garbage. And they could not be more excited because Republicans have been under fire for their garbage thing. And now they're like, yes, Biden's garbage thing cancels out our garbage thing. So now we're back to neutral. I mean, just look how excited Marco Rubio was when he got to interrupt a Trump rally to tell Trump the news. All right.

All right, well, I wasn't going to say anything, but I have breaking news for you, Mr. President. You may not have heard this. Just moments ago, Joe Biden stated that our supporters are garbage. Look how excited Rubio is. Everybody, everybody, everybody. I have great news. We are garbage. Celebrate. Come on.

I mean, Rubio delivered that news like he was announcing the war is over. And you can tell how excited Trump is because his face is at full orange alert. This put Trump in such a good mood that he briefly found religion. That's what it says. That's what it says. But he doesn't know. You have to please forgive him. Please forgive him for he not knoweth what he said. He not knoweth what he said.

Someone's been reading an Instagram quote about the Bible. I mean, Trump should speak like this more. It makes him sound kind of wise. Like, thou art eating thy cats and thou art eating thy dog... doggers. Now...

Obviously, Republicans are happy to hit Democrats with this Biden gaffe, and obviously the media is excited to cover a garbage fight. And I guess that's what we're going to talk about for the last week of the election. And that's fine, because it's not like anyone said anything that might have a bigger impact on our lives. The key that I think, you know, that President Trump has promised me is control of the public health agencies, which are HHS and its sub-agencies.

CDC, FDA, NIH, and a few others, and then also the USDA, which is, uh, which, you know, is key to making America healthy. Great. That sounds like the healthiest man in America, everybody. You two could sound like this when I'm in charge of everything.

To be fair, RFK Jr. is actually pretty healthy. I mean, he's 70 years old, and that's like 850 in Kennedy years. But still, is this guy gonna be in charge of food quality? I mean, they found a dead worm in his brain, so even his skull can't get a higher rating than a C.

Of all the characters in this election, this guy is the scariest because he doesn't believe in vaccines or pasteurizing milk. He thinks antidepressants cause school shootings and that COVID was engineered to not affect Jews. And he thinks chemicals in the water make kids trans. And Trump is going to put him in charge of all the health and food and medicine.

I mean, surely Trump will at least put some limits on what he can do, right? Like, Donald, you're not going to just let this guy go wild, are you? I'm going to let him go wild on health. I'm going to let him go wild on the food. I'm going to let him go wild on medicine. Wait, how are you going to let him go wild on medicine? Like, what, are you going to let him dip his balls in the cough syrup? For more on what RFK could do in a Trump presidency, let's go live to CDC headquarters with Jordan Klepper.

Jordan, Jordan, why is the media paying attention to Joe Biden's gaffes when RFK running the CDC sounds like a much bigger deal? Good question, Ronnie. It's because focusing on institutions like the CDC is what we in the media call boring.

No one wants to hear the overly complex details about how RFK is going to unvaccinate people by clamping down on their arms and sucking out their injections like it's a snake bite. Wait, wait, would that even work? Look, you're getting lost in the weeds, Ronnie. The real scoop is that this morning, Joe Biden said he hopes Kamala becomes president of the United States. President? Are you f***ing... What is going on?

Well, I promise to get to the bottom of it in my new primetime special, All the President's Men. Wait, wait, wait, Jordan. Sorry, sorry. Could we go back to what was that thing you said about RFK undoing my vaccinations? I don't know. I zoned out. It was something about summoning the power of the U.S. military to go door to door and yada, yada, yada, yada. I don't know.

Wait, wait, wait. Military? Military? You mean RFK will have access to, like, tanks and shit? I don't know. I didn't ask too many follow-ups because there's so much Joe Biden news coming out. Like, this afternoon, Biden said we need to respect the will of the voters. The voters? What? This guy is all in for the 1%. Okay, okay.

Jordan, I mean, it's obvious that he meant the voters. Ooh, controversy. Now we're really getting into it. We'll find out more in my two-part special, Voter Die! Will Democracy Sink or Swim? Okay, okay. Jordan, Jordan, no one cares about these gaffes or your dumb specials, okay? How about...

the issues that are gonna affect day-to-day life. RFK Jr. could be in charge of, like, school lunches. True, true. Although I wouldn't worry too much about that. RFK told me that instead of school lunch, kids will forage for bear meat in Central Park. Okay, that sounds incredibly unhealthy. Yeah, if you find a bad bear, sure. Okay, wait. Okay, did he talk about how he was gonna implement this? I don't know. It's not my job to ask.

It is. You're the media. It's literally the one thing you're supposed to do. Stop getting distracted by all this meaningless Biden shit and focus on informing the people on the issues that matter.

Wow. Hard truths, Roddy. Hard truths. You know, you're right. I need to focus more on truly informing the public. And I'll do so in my new three-part miniseries. A complex look at RFK's history of intervention within the medical system, undermining public trust in our institutions while paving the way for the current national anti-science movement. Okay. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds a little boring. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Forget it. Check out my 12-part retrospective on that one time Biden mispronounced SCOTUS as SCRODUM. Balls in your court, an American story. All right, God bless the media. Jordan Klepper, everybody. When we come back, we'll find out how J.D. Vance got so charming, so don't go away.

It's time for a brand new season of Survivor. And you know what that means. It means it's also a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast on fire. Here's our goal with this podcast. We bring you inside the how and the why of

of what we do on the show. And we do it from three different points of view. You have the producer in me. You have the fan in Jay, who also happens to be our executive producer for this podcast. And then we bring you the insight from a former player. And this season, it is Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie Davis. Welcome to the team, Charlie. Well, Jeff, I know firsthand that playing from the couch...

and playing on the island, completely different. So I hope you tune in every single week. We're going to dissect the strategy, the misfires and mistakes that change the game. If you want more Survivor than just 90 minutes, this is where you get it. On Fire, the only official Survivor podcast. Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey! Welcome back to The Daily Show. If there's one thing we've learned from this campaign, it's that J.D. Vance is the most charismatic man alive. But how did he get that way? Well, good news. We found the man responsible. Look, what I was basically saying is that we're effectively run in this country via the Democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies. If there's one skill every politician needs, it's being likable. How long are you working here?

And the truth is most politicians aren't born with that level of charisma. They learn it from me. From me they learn it.

My name is Nathaniel Gordon and I teach JD Vance how to be likable and not off-putting. Did you say something? No? Okay, good.

All of America's most beloved politicians learned how to be charming from me. Of course, my star pupil is J.D., seen here wearing a T-shirt in a pool. That was my idea. It's like I always say, if you're going in the pool, shirt on, ya fool. If you're going to the movies, shirt off, it's groovy. It's not illegal.

Judy and I have worked on many likability techniques, for example, using humor. Democrats say that it is racist to believe -- Well, they say it's racist to do anything. I had a dive Mountain Dew yesterday and wanted to -- I'm sure they're gonna call that racist, too, but... It's good. I love you guys. Hello, Lorne Michaels. I'm just kidding. See? It's another joke.

Sometimes the media will lob you a softball question and that's when you charm the pants off them by insinuating that you have a dark side. Why would people in Wisconsin want to have a beer with you? Well, I guess they'd want to have a beer with me because I actually do like to drink beer. I probably like to drink beer a little bit too much, but that's okay. I'm sure the media won't... Boom.

He could have just said, I'm a regular guy. Boring. Instead, he left you wondering, is this guy a high-functioning alcoholic robot? That's interesting. Check plus mate equals check please. The thing about being likable is it's always a work in progress. Even I, a master, need to practice to stay sharp. Hey, benches, huh? What? No, just, so, is your hair real? Wow. Ah! Ah!

That wasn't too bad. We'll try that one out next week in Wisconsin. You know, it's really so rewarding seeing one of my pupils out in the world using the lessons I taught them and watching the world fall in love with them. What makes you smile? What makes you happy? Well, I smile at a lot of things, including bogus questions from the media, man. I love this guy.

You guys want to go here after this I like drinking beer it's probably why I murdered my wife I Love you guys We'll be joining me on the show so don't go away

It's time for a brand new season of Survivor. And you know what that means. It means it's also a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast on fire. Here's our goal with this podcast. We bring you inside the how and the why of what we do on the show. And we do it from three different points of view. You have the producer in me. You have the fan in Jay, who also happens to be our executive producer of this podcast. And you have the producer in me.

And then we bring you the insight from a former player, and this season it is Survivor 46 runner-up Charlie Davis. Welcome to the team, Charlie. Well, Jeff, I know firsthand that playing from the couch and playing on the island, completely different. So I hope you tune in every single week. We're going to dissect the strategy, the misfires and mistakes that change the game. If you want more Survivor than just 90 minutes, this is where you get it. On Fire, the only official Survivor podcast.

Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, welcome back to our daily show. My guests tonight are a critically acclaimed band whose new album is called No Obligation. Please welcome the amazing Linda Lind... ♪♪

Thanks for coming to the show. I've been watching you guys since the pandemic. And you guys are musical prodigies. You guys had to take leave from school to come and do this gig today. You guys are literally too cool for school. What subjects did you have to skip? I had to miss English and math. She had to miss...

math and French Okay, so so none of those let me tell you as an adult none of those matter so don't worry about it I was fine without anything. I don't even do English to be honest You guys are already like industry veterans like you guys been playing for like together for how long now six years six years and you know one of I think more views like Started when you were eight, right? Yeah

But we were really bad, though. Well, I mean, I don't know if you guys were bad. You guys seem to be out of the gate storming, right? Like six years in and you're very open for the Rolling Stones. You're open for Green Day, right? Yeah, yeah. It's like an issue. Attention. I mean, I don't want to like ask a very generic question, but like how did this all start?

We started out, like, playing benefit shows, like, just, like, small punk shows in L.A. Yeah, it was, like, with bands like The Dills and Alice Bagg and Frank were at our first shows, so, like, we've...

Don't know punk culture is just like super like special to us and that DIY spirit is super contagious right like so you guys are like the hipster dad dream kids cuz You guys are like We like the real punk rock man. Yeah, we did not think that we would be here like six years ago That's weird for us. Right? But how did you guys how do you guys get started? Like what was the genesis of the band? I?

Well, okay, Mila and I are sisters, and then Ellie's is our cousin. We've known Bella since we were, like, Mila was born, basically. And we... Which was two years ago. Basically. You would think. No, we started out playing covers, like, and...

This girl called Kristen Control, who's in a band called the Dum Dum Girls, she wanted a bunch of kids to back her up for this show that she was doing. And so we happened to be four of those kids. And then we were like, what if we just kept going? And then one thing led to another. And then-- Right. And next thing you know, you're opening for a Rolling Stones. We're opening for the Rolling Stones. We already did that.

And again, not to be too generic with the questions, but what was it like opening for those bands, like backstage, you know? It was really, really cool. The Green Day tour was so long, but it was really worth it because the bands and the crew, they were just really...

And even the fans were really respectful and just, like, supportive of us. We put a bunch of fake cockroaches on their stage as well. Or they have this big blimp that goes by the audience, and we taped a big banner that said the Linda Lindas rule on it. You know, like, just stuff like that. No, but one of the best parts of being on this tour, other than, like, seeing the bands play and, like, being in the crowd for that, is that we had catering. And so we would go...

And we would play 20 minutes, we'd watch Rancid play, and then I'd rush to catering and pile my plate as high as I could go. It was great. I ate so much on that day. Was the Rolling Stones catering better? Was the Green Day catering better? I honestly don't remember. I feel like I just ate all of it. Yeah. I think Rolling Stones catering was better. Really? I don't know. I think it was all good.

No, you can tell them that catering sucks. Like, who's catering? That's actually the... When I first started doing show business as well, I was surprised by the catering. Even here, I was like, man, there's food? It's just free food? It's like, no, and you can just eat as much as you want. No one's going to judge you. And I just ate all the food at the Daily Show all the time. Like, I still eat all the food. And so, I mean, all this success, is it getting to your heads yet? Have you guys smashed hotel rooms? What's going on? I mean, they leave them a mess. We leave them a mess.

So yes, you do destroy hotel rooms. - No destroying, but they're messy while we're in there, but they're not messy when we leave. - Yeah, we try to have after. - You know, hotel trash cans, they're so tiny. How are you supposed to fit all your trash into the tub? - They are tiny and there's no plastic lining. - But we leave them like minimal trash. - Okay. - Honestly, this is just like a consequence of like how unenvironmentally conscious people are with like their trash. - Really, okay. This sounds like a bunch of excuses for being- - We have less packaging.

Yeah, open for Rolling Stones, but I guess your parents still like clean your room, right? Yeah, so you just recently released your new album, No Obligation. Yeah, this... Number two. So can you, this is number two, album number two. Album number two. Can you, do you mind just, what was the creative process like creating this?

- It took a long time. It was-- - It was like over breaks from school, you know? So... - Like over like on spring break or like long weekends and stuff like that, we would do like a little bit at a time. It kind of throughout like almost a year and a half, I want to say. - Yeah. - And we really liked it 'cause we-- it was our second time. So it was like the first time we were like scared. We were like, "Oh my God, what if we break something in the studio?" And the second time we were like, "Whatever." - We're gonna break everything in the studio. This is our studio now.

I think what was different about recording this one versus the last one was we really wanted to do a lot more collaborative writing and we made sure to do more duets. Because we were all like involved. We kind of like split it up evenly so that we all sing about the same amount for each set or each whatever. What was it, do you find this work, did this come easier than the first one in terms of the creativity just kind of flow?

I think we had more options because we felt more comfortable playing our instruments.

And we could make more informed decisions, I guess. We also had Weird Al guest on one of our songs. He played accordion. I know, that's crazy. So, like, the first album, we probably would have asked him to be like, no. But second album, he was like, sure, why not? Yeah, you got the cool features now. You got Weird Al coming in, you know. If you want, I'll lend my voice to it. I can do the intro. I'll just be like, everybody, welcome. What do you play? I play, like, barely play the whistle, but, I mean...

I can give you the intro if you want something really... Oh, something like, welcome. Welcome to the Linda Lindas or whatever. I'll give you a very sarcastic opening if that's up your alley. And you guys are very politically active as well. I mean, can you give us a little bit... Can you give us old-timers here some insight into like... What are kids concerned about right now? I mean, like, despite what you may think, we are not...

Asians. How? How? How? No, I was asking a question. I wasn't...

Asians? Oh, you are? Okay, good. That's right. Just confirming. Yeah, no, we're, as a band, we're like half Asian and half Latina. Right, yeah. And so... It's the best. It's the best combination. It's like so much good food. So much good food. Honestly, all the rice eaters unite. Let's go rice. No, I mean, we're not, I feel like we're not like representation of like

kids as a whole, you know, so yeah, you guys are ultra cool kids. Yeah. Our opinions are just like, it's like, you know, we don't get to vote. And so we are genuinely concerned for what is to come in the future. And it's really, it's difficult seeing people in power that don't care about what people care about, like protecting our rights and protecting the kids and our future. Like what will be your, what will be the issues that you guys care about?

What do kids worry about right now? Because I'm so out of touch. I used to be young. And then one day I woke up and suddenly TikTok became Snapchat. I mean, that's something that we're worried about. I know. Even just generations from us to what kindergartners are doing right now. It's the amount of screen time. And it's just really scary to see how... Wait, hang on. Are you...

Are you telling me that you guys are worried about the amount of screen time? That's good. I'm so glad to hear that. We want people to, like, care. I think, you know, it's never too early to, like, start caring about issues that are happening in the world. Yeah, like, even though we're not old enough to vote, we are old enough to care. We are old enough to think about the world around us. We are old enough to...

We're old enough to think about, you know, what the companies that we put our money into funds. And, you know, a lot of the times it feels like issues are so far away, you know, or so big. But really everything is connected, you know, like how the U.S. funds a war in the Middle East and that causes so much violence and destruction there.

But that also, you know, contributes to climate change, which affects you wherever you live. And so you just got to do what you can, you know, organize in your local communities, you know, talk to your friends. And, you know, even if the things that you're doing feel small or feel like they won't do anything, they are valuable and they do matter. Thank you.

Thank you so much for saying that. Thank Buddha. The kids are going to be okay. I'm so glad you guys exist. I'm so glad you guys make music. I'm so glad you guys care about your world. I'm so glad you kids are you. And a new obligation is available now.

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Survivor 47 is here, which means we're bringing you a brand new season of the only official Survivor podcast, On Fire. And this season, we are joined by fan favorite and Survivor 46 runner-up, Charlie Davis, to bring you even further inside the action. Charlie, I'm excited to do this together. Thanks, Jeff. So excited to be here, and I can't wait to bring you inside the mind of a Survivor player for season 47. Listen to On Fire, the official Survivor podcast, wherever you get your podcasts.