Betting on Elections, Supply Chain Panic, and the Art of Rice
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online university for working adults. Start your comeback at purdueglobal.edu. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Kosta. Thank you.

Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Michael Kosta. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Gambling addicts have a new sport to bet on. Costco is out of toilet paper again. And Charlemagne the God is here to tell us who's working the polls. So let's get right into the headlines. Come on.

The presidential election is just 34 days away, and if you thought the stakes couldn't get any higher, well, good news. Now they can. Well, you could soon see folks betting on the outcome of this year's congressional elections. That's because a federal appeals court declined to block a lower court's decision allowing it. It is a blow for a government agency that argued doing so could undermine election integrity.

Thank you. But, yes, betting on elections is about to be legal, which is great for everyone who wishes they could see even more FanDuel ads, but...

Seriously, this is shameful. Why are we betting on congressional races when this country could collapse into a fascist dictatorship? Because that's what I want to bet on, you know? If I could parlay a fascist takeover with the over-under on the Jets game, ooh, baby, I'm in the money. I'm in the race.

This is the last thing American democracy needed. "Hey, honey, how'd the voting go?" "Ugh, you know, I stood in line for hours. Then when I finally got to the booth, Tony 'The Shark' Finn Gambino threatened to shank me if my vote doesn't help him cover the spread."

Let's move on to a pretty big story that happened this week. You might not know this, but when you order a foam roller or a stapler on Amazon, it's not just magically made on your doorstep by elves. No, it's made in China by children. And then it's put on a ship and it's sent to America where dock workers take it off the ship. But right now, those dock workers aren't taking anything off any ship. It

- A port strike by some 50,000 dock workers across the East and Gulf Coast entering its third day this morning. - The US dock workers are fighting for higher pay and for protections against automation, essentially robots taking their jobs. - Workers say foreign-owned shipping companies have made record profits and they want a piece of the pie for their hard work. - We wanna work. We're just saying we need fair wages. How the hell can I go work at McDonald's and make what I'm making now? Makes no sense. - Okay, good message.

Good message, not a very easy chant. We want to work. According to some schools of philosophic thought, it is man's nature to work. But we also have material needs that must be addressed. It's the tension between these two conflicting dynamics that has resulted in our collective labor action. I couldn't even get through it. Thank you.

So, yes, the dock workers are on strike, which my researchers tell me threatens the United States economy because longshoremen play an important role in the supply chain. And believe me, their leader, he makes that very clear. People never gave a s*** about us until now, when they finally realized that the chain is being broke now. You know how many people depend on our jobs? Half the world. Let's get a contract and let's move on with this world. And in today's world, I'll cripple you.

I will cripple you and you have no idea what that means. Hey, hey, hey, hey, man, hey, man, don't cripple me, all right? I'm not a shipping conglomerate. Leave me out of it. I'm just a guy who addresses his mild anxiety with the dopamine hit of spending $70 on Amazon every day. Now, you could argue that the phrase, I'll cripple you, is a little aggro coming from a union boss, but...

I'll tell you what's never worked is when workers say, "Uh, hi, uh, excuse me, for-profit multinational company. I was just kind of wondering if you had some extra money you didn't want. Maybe we could have it?" So that's why he went with, "I'll cripple you."

Now, you might be thinking, hey, being crippled sounds like a bad thing. Just pay these guys more so that doesn't happen. But some people think they get paid enough already, so this probably isn't helping. He does have a bit of a lavish lifestyle. He's got a $2.4 million home.

I'm in.

This is what I love about America. Everyone's cool if a tech CEO or a movie star or a TikToker who farts on cakes has a big house. But if you're working hard labor, they're like, you should sleep in a bunk bed at your mother's house just like the rest of us. Look, I get it. Yeah, I get it.

This is not what you expect when you think of a longshoreman. You think of a crusty old guy who lives in a shack and has sex with a mermaid, be it through some sort of fish vagina thing, or maybe they're doing oral if there's no vagina. What was I talking about? I don't know.

Anyway, despite the bad optics, the longshoremen have a lot of political support in this fight. Both Kamala Harris and Donald Trump are backing the striking workers, a sign that even in these polarized times, both candidates really want to win the election in a few weeks. And you might be wondering, how can I help support these striking dock workers? Just kidding. You're wondering, is this going to affect me?

Unfortunately, it might. Analysts expect you'll start to see pressure on the prices you pay or possible shortages if this lasts another one to two weeks. A prolonged strike could impact banana shipments, new car deliveries, imported chocolate and alcohol, to name just a few. Oh, no. Bulldozers, medicine and hearing aids are one thing, but please, God, don't make me eat domestic chocolate, you know? It's Swiss or nothing.

Chocolate has to look like one of those things that keep me from backing up after I rent a car. And no more banana shipments? Every sex ed teacher must be freaking out right now. This is how they demonstrate how to put on a condom. What are they gonna use now, zucchini? Penises don't look like zucchini. Penises look exactly like bananas. So the strike could affect the supply of lots of things. But this is America, and there's one product that we care about more than any other.

With news of 45,000 dock workers going on strike, Americans are staffing up all the essential items they can get their hands on, especially toilet paper. It's happening again. Panic buying for toilet paper. Social media is flooded with empty store shelves. People are stocking up on essentials like toilet paper. We sold out of toilet paper by 11.30 a.m.

Okay. Now, to be fair, even if you buy one package of toilet paper at Costco, it looks like you're panic-buying toilet paper. You know who should really be taking advantage of these panic runs? Big Bidet. Right? This is... Yeah. Bidet. This is Bidet's time to shine. Bidet's. Power wash your asshole. You almost clapped too early. But look.

I have good news for people who are engaging in hand-to-hand combat in the Costco aisles. A port strike is not going to affect your toilet paper supply. No one needs to be panicking about where their next TP is coming from. America makes toilet paper. We do not import it. You see? We do still make things in America. Toilet paper and apps where you can bet on your next senator. Nothing else, but...

For more on the dock workers' strike, we go live to Grace Kuhlenschmidt. Grace, Grace, I see that you're down at Costco right now. That's right. I'm here to report on the supply chain, and I also needed a five-pack of Honda Civics. So how are people reacting to the strike? Not well. Everybody is panic buying, myself included. I've been loading up on Florida oranges and Idaho potatoes and New Jersey dirt. Okay.

Grace, all of those products are domestic. Oh, wow. So because I'm a woman buying them, that makes them domestic? Up in the head! That's not it! That's not it! I'm just saying that the shipping only affects international products. Chocolate, batteries, bulldozers. Oh, shit! Not bulldozers! I'm going trench digging this weekend and I was supposed to bring the dozers! Okay, Grace...

At this point, it seems like the panic buying is causing more problems than the port shutting down. Yeah, that's right. People need to know you don't need to hoard toilet paper. If supplies are low, just pool together with your neighbors and everyone can take the two squares a week they need. Two squares? That seems low. I use a lot more than that. You use more than two squares a week?

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people do, right? Michael, I have never heard of anybody needing more than two squares a week. Do you ever stop shitting? Let's not discuss that right now. Okay, how about this? Do you think the strike is going to get resolved anytime soon? Well, it's not clear. President Biden says he's trying to make peace between the two sides, and based on how that usually goes, there's probably going to be a regional war in a few weeks.

Speaking of explosions, how many squares a week do you use? Honestly, I've never really counted. Too many to count? Michael, you need to go see a whole doctor. I think you're dying. I'll call my whole doctor after this. So what should people do if their Costco runs out of toilet paper? Well, Michael, I'm starting to think the toilet paper shortage is less of a supply issue and more of a Michael issue. Okay.

You need to quit toilet paper, okay? Go cold turkey. From here on out, wipe your ass with cold turkey. Costco, I can pick you up 25 pounds. You want hickory smoked or honey baked? Grace, please. Please. Honey baked. Grace Kuhlenschmidt, everybody. When we come back, Charlemagne will make sure Trump doesn't steal the election. Don't go away. If your business needs a new application, then developers will have to write code. A lot of code.

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The 2024 presidential election is here. MSNBC has the in-depth coverage and analysis you need. Our reporters are on the ground. Steve Kornacki is at the big board breaking down the races. Rachel Maddow and our Decision 2024 team will provide insight as results come in. And the next day, Morning Joe will give you perspective on what it all means for the future of our country. Watch coverage of the 2024 presidential election Tuesday, November 5th on MSNBC.

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Visit buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals, to find out more. Toyota, let's go places. Welcome back to The Daily Show. We all know I've got great opinions, but I'm not the only one. Studies show that other people also have opinions. So here with another installment of In My Opinion is our good friend Charlemagne Tha Guy.

OK, Election Day is just one month away and I don't want to spoil it for you, but I already know the results. Donald Trump is going to declare victory. He'll declare. Yes, he'll declare victory if he wins and he'll steal it if he loses. Trump has never accepted a loss in his life. You really think the first time he's going to be cool about it is if he loses to a black woman. Trump hasn't had a good relationship with a black woman since they took on your mama off the circuit.

Yeah. And how do I know he's going to try to steal this election if he loses? He tried to steal the last one. Jack Smith just dropped another 165 page court document about it. And if there's one thing I've learned from heist movies is that there's always a sequel. OK. Ocean's 11. Ocean's 12. Ocean's 13. Ocean's.

Eight? No, no. Y'all need to learn to count. I'm not saying Donald Trump is Danny Ocean, but he did bankrupt more casinos.

And in 2024, Trump's getting his crew back together, putting a team of MAGA loyalists on the inside to get them past security. We know because they literally told us. The Republican National Committee recently invited the guy known for helping spread the Pizzagate conspiracy to speak to GOP volunteers about how to monitor elections in Michigan. Jack Posobiec, a conservative political activist, said the key to elections is that, quote, "It doesn't matter who votes.

It matters who counts the votes. - That's why it's so important to be in the room, in the counting room this time. This is what we've trained tens of thousands of people for. We're going to take over the election apparatus. We're taking over the Republican Party from the precinct committee strategy. We're taking over all the elections. - That's right. Trump's recruiting more people to work the polls than Magic City. Poll workers and poll watchers are supposed to be impartial, but they got a whole army of Karens to police the polling place like it's a Juneteenth cookout.

Officer, this voter says her name is LaShonda. You'd better send a whole SWAT team now. And it's a little surprising that Steve Bannon is just saying this plan openly. But what else is he going to do on this podcast? Drop his skincare routine? Bro, let us know what embalming fluid you use. Maybe he died with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. So the heist crew...

The heist crew is starting to come together, and this should be raising all kinds of alarms, but Trump thought of that, too. And he's got people in position to cut the wires on those alarms, specifically state groups in charge of election oversight. Those groups rejected his claims last time, but this time they brought in over 80 officials whose main qualification is denying the 2020 election. Yes, and Trump loves these people. How do we know? Again, because he told us.

I don't know if you've heard, but the Georgia State Election Board is in a very positive way. They're doing a great job. Three members, Janice Johnson, Rick Jeffries and Janelle King. Are they here? Where are they? Where are they? Where are they? Thank you. What a job. Thank you.

Yeah, I don't know if I need to say this, but we should be suspicious when a candidate is shouting out the names of election board members. Imagine LeBron James praising the refs by name before the game. I'm like, holy shit, is that Steve and Ricky over there? Oh, we traveling tonight. Appointing election deniers is like if Delta hired a pilot whose LinkedIn just said plane crash enthusiast. Yeah, but Trump's got them ready to certify him as the winner of the next election.

Let's see, what else does a heist need? Oh yeah, they gotta create a distraction. Cue the demolitions experts. - In Georgia today, the state election board passed a new rule that will require poll workers to count all ballots by hand. It's the latest in a series of changes by the pro-Trump majority on the board, and it would require three people to count every ballot in every precinct on election night or the day after. Poll workers are warning that this rule change

could cause complete chaos by taking up too much time, money, and almost certainly producing counting errors. - Count by hand. No one does anything by hand anymore except maybe Lauren Boebert. All right?

This is going to cause chaos, and that's the point. The more of a mess Election Day becomes, the more Trump can demand that his people in Congress step in to fix it, okay? What are Democrats going to do about it? Sue? Sure. Go ahead and take it to the Supreme Court. They'll probably discover a clause in the Constitution that lets Trump steal the election. It's right next to the presidential immunity clause.

So this whole thing is being planned very carefully, but a heist isn't all about the brains. It's also about the brawn, which is why every crew needs some muscle. The Brennan Center's 2024 annual survey of local election officials found that 38% of them have experienced threats, harassment, or abuse, while 7 in 10 local election officials feel that threats have increased since 2020. That prompted me to start talking with the sheriff about

personal safety, he recommended that I wear a ballistic vest whenever I feel necessary. I wear one pretty much every single day.

These poor guys, man. These poor guys are wearing ballistic vests every day. They're election workers, not managers of a Waffle House. All right. You know what the worst part about all this is? Trump is only able to plan this heist because nobody stopped him after the last one. And now people are saying the only option to stop Donald Trump is to vote.

But you don't stop a dictator through voting. You stop a dictator through laws. And we have the laws. But it took Merrick Garland two years to even think about prosecuting him under those laws. Pray to God, if you ever catch a murder charge, you get Merrick Garland as your prosecutor. Okay? I bet Merrick Garland showed up to OJ's funeral with handcuffs.

What do you mean it's too late? All right? Point is, I just wish Donald Trump had to deal with the same consequence for trying to steal an election that Danny Ocean did for stealing from a casino. Spoiler alert, they put Danny Ocean's ass in jail. Okay? You don't give someone the chance to steal again because the greatest democracy on Earth should at least be as secure as a casino. And while we're at it, polling places should also have a buffet. But that's just my opinion. Okay?

Solomayn Magad, everybody. Till we come back, JJ Jackson will be joining on the show. Don't go away.

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The 2024 presidential election is here. MSNBC has the in-depth coverage and analysis you need. Our reporters are on the ground. Steve Kornacki is at the big board breaking down the races. Rachel Maddow and our Decision 2024 team will provide insight as results come in. And the next day, Morning Joe will give you perspective on what it all means for the future of our country. Watch coverage of the 2024 presidential election Tuesday, November 5th on MSNBC.

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Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is a celebrity chef and founder of Field Trip and author of the best-selling cookbook, The Simple Art of Rice. Please welcome J.J. Johnson. I know, it's amazing. These people love rice. That's what's up. This is a beautiful book. Oh, thank you. Congratulations on it. You know, before we even get into the book, I love this picture. Who am I...

All this rice. There's so much rice. The beautiful color of rice. I mean, in my, like, North American white culture, I'm like, there's more than two different rices? So much more than two different rices. So much more than two different rices. I mean, everybody's backyard has rice. New Jersey has rice. Hudson Valley has rice. What are you talking about?

- There's rice? - There's rice. Everywhere in America. - So you love rice. - Oh, I love it. - Yeah, and why? - I grew up in my grandmother's kitchen with rice. She used to make this dish called asopao, which was a soupy rice dish that she would drink out of a coffee cup in the morning and then kind of like pass around to everybody. And then I started to hate rice.

Because your family liked rice. Because people can't cook right. You know, you get sticky rice or hard rice. Right. And then I went to Ghana to cook. Okay. And when I went to West Africa and Ghana to cook, I was at a grandmother's table in Accra, and I was eating Jollof rice, and everybody was running around the table. Right. And I wanted the goat. Right. And then when I got to the Jollof, I was like, hold on, this is amazing. Right.

And I need to figure out how to cook rice well, so I started doing heavily research around rice for eight years, nine years. And that's how the simple art of rice came about. - Rice, you know, your restaurant field trip, I got it today, I got it for lunch. Oh man, it was like the fried chicken bowl with the rice, and then I got the sweet plantains, but it says on the package, "Rice is culture."

So who has the best rice? Who is... You trying to set me up, Michael? You think I'm gonna stop? You think I'm gonna stop? Trying to set me up? I mean, yeah, I'm trying to set you up. Like...

I mean, I learned a lot. Like I said, I feel like North American cuisine treats rice as this side dish. You know, my first thought when I saw this was like, okay, where's the protein? But I'm thinking about it incorrectly. So rice is culture. Everybody, all of you have a rice culture. There's something, somebody's house you went to as a kid where that rice dish was significant. Mine was Matthew Davis' house as a kid. What's up, Matthew? Yeah.

His mom made Korean rice. The best rice, of course, I'm biased, is field trip. My restaurant here in New York City. Right, right, right. The rice was good. But I haven't been to Ghana. I haven't been to Ghana. Maybe it's pretty good there, too.

But everybody's grandma's kitchen's rice is amazing. The risotto that's creamy, the crispy con con or the pig out the bottom of the pot, right? So I'm always looking for a grandmother's kitchen to go to to eat rice. But yes, rice is here.

in the U.S. and North America very disrespected okay right I think it's the most disrespected ingredient I don't it has tons of history behind it right but it's more than a side dish right it makes your life so much easier okay right because when you cook the simple pot of rice you eat some you put it in the fridge you let it cool down properly and then you're like what can I do tomorrow with this right right right and then you make fried rice hell yeah

I was looking at this yesterday hungry and I'm like this is the worst book to look at hungry and then also you know when you're hungry and you look at a cookbook I was so aspirational I was like oh I'll do this one tomorrow it's like will you Michael I mean I gotta cook one of these this weekend what if for a starter for an idiot for a comedian what what I think you could cook all right so before you cook do you wash your rice no I don't wash my rice we

We're going to have to go in the back and talk. Well, I mean... Why would I have to wash my rice? You have to wash your rice. Okay, so talk to me about it. Oh, like you guys wash your rice. You do. You do, maybe. Okay, good. I'm seeing some cultural differences here.

Why wash your rice? You have to wash your rice. You want to wash your rice so the water runs clear. Why? Go back to grandmas. I'm not arguing with the grandmas in the world. They all wash their rice. And what that does, you get that initial starch off, and when you go to make that perfect pot of rice, you're going to get that beautiful, fluffy rice. So that's a step first. Fluffy rice. Then after you do that,

And after you do that, you'll be perfect with any other rice. Now, my favorite in this book is 100 recipes. Great recipes you can make with your kids. But I'm a one-pot wonder guy because I don't like doing the dishes. And my wife definitely doesn't like cleaning up in the kitchen when I cook. So the spiced lamb rice, cinnamon spiced lamb rice, with the dates, the pistachios, the cinnamon sticks. That's how you throw it in the pot. You gotta throw it in just like that. So...

I think I'm showing why I'm not a good cook. I'm like... And then you just drop the... Then you just drop the top right on. Okay, yeah. Turn it low. Yep. Let it simmer out. Yep. And when you pop it open, your whole kitchen is gonna smell like cinnamon and dates and pistachios. I feel like so many excellent dishes, you go low with the heat. You gotta go low. And it's like, what does that say about life? Sometimes... No, but I mean, sometimes we're going too medium. We're going too fast. You gotta go low. Yeah.

Go low. You know, you guys know what I'm talking about. Field Trip is your first restaurant in Harlem. Yes. And it's delicious. It's accessible. Yes, it is. It's healthy. How did we end up at Field Trip? How did we end up at Harlem? You have other locations as well. Well, you know, my dad's from Harlem. And I never thought I would ever open a restaurant in Harlem.

When I first moved to New York City from Pennsylvania, I lived with my two aunts, my two aunts, that really schooled me on Harlem. And Harlem is a great community of folks. And when you go to open a business, you have to think, who's going to walk through your doors? So I was like, OK, my cousin Tanisha is going to walk through the door. Christina is going to walk through the door. Aunt Dot's going to walk.

That's what was there, but I cooked at a restaurant called the Cecil back then. It was like, you know, that's how many people got to know me. And I got a landlord that called me that said, hey, we want you to put a restaurant here. We want to get a good deal. And for me, when I look at a community like Harlem, I want people to be able to eat good-for-you food. Yes, I like that. And there's not enough of that in a lot of working-class communities in America. Yeah.

So Field Trip gives you a chance to say, "Today I'm gonna consciously eat better because I know the chef cares, the restaurant owner cares, the people working in there from the community." And that's why we started off in Harlem. And it's Rice's culture, right? There's so much culture running through the streets. And we've been fortunate to have a location at Rockefeller Center, one in front of Columbia University, one in the Bahamas at the Atlantis. - I should have gone there to research this book.

Instead they sent me to Rockefeller Center. Maybe if we ate more good-for-you food, we would have less runs at the toilet paper at Costco. You know what I'm saying? But it does say something about Americans' diet. All right. Kids. Kids. Kids should be eating healthy, delicious, fun, good food. Yes. How?

What I do with my kids is what I try to do is full circle, right? So I take my kids and go apple picking. I have twins, boy and a girl, seven years old, 10 miles. And I saw them bagging food on your Instagram. Oh, yeah, for Climate Week. That was great. And we take them to pick apples. We take them to the farmer's market. And what we do is we really want them to say, what do you want to eat? I want them to grab and touch the food. Now, they don't want to grab the vegetables. Right.

Right? But what I do, we pick one vegetable for the week, and they have to eat that same vegetable every day. We cook it different ways, but they have to own that. And I think getting your kids involved around food is also fun. I bring my kids in the kitchen, count how many eggs, crack the eggs, mix the eggs. Now they want to start scrambling eggs on the burner, which I'm not ready for yet. But...

Very low, very low heat. And I think for you and parents, they should bring your kids in the kitchen. It's a great math tool. And you will see your kids start to really say, I don't want that. So my daughter's really into cucumbers.

And she's like, oh, I want the little cuke cucumbers. I didn't learn about a cuke cucumber until I was in culinary school. Right. I didn't have an avocado until I was like 38 years old. And my daughter's like, avocados, and she's four years old. It's like you spoiled Brett, and I tell her that every time.

No, she's not spoiled. You're giving her access to something good. And I think we need to do that. I say just start with the eggs. Okay. I like that. When you go to the supermarket, look at all the different type of eggs. The good eggs are a lot less money than the most expensive eggs. Okay. No, you don't believe me. You give me that look. Explain that to me. Oh, shit, his next book is going to be called Eggs. Eggs.

Because that's coming from a local farm that's pastured, and they just want to be on the shelf, and they want people to have better-for-you food, so they're giving you an access point. Or go to the farmer's market. We're always in the farmer's market up and down New York City. I mean, you have a great farmer's market from where you're from.

In Ann Arbor. Yeah, Ann Arbor has a great farm. That's true. Yeah, it is. Ann Arbor takes food seriously, which is nice. Thank you for coming and chatting with us. Your book is beautiful. Your restaurant's delicious. Thank you. I really appreciate it. And I got to cook the spicy lamb. Spicy, no, the cinnamon spice lamb rice. And you got to buy black rice because black rice is the goat of all rice. You know what they say, once you go black...

Thank you for having me. Thank you, Chef. The simple art of life is available now. And check out Steets on Clio TV. Chef JJ Johnson. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. That's our show for tonight. Now, here it is, your moment of zen. Have you seen any panic buying? Guess what tripled themselves? Please.

Toilet paper. Okay, why are people stocking up on toilet paper? I saw an article. What's going on? And did you hear him, Jackie? Stop hoarding my toilet paper. Stop me. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+.

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Welcome to the Cooper residence. Cooper McAllister. I'm surprised you put my name first. Come on in. From the brains behind the Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon, CBS is excited to welcome back some beloved, familiar folks. I am so glad that you and Cece are here. And Georgie. Atta girl. It's a whole new chapter. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage premieres CBS Thursday, 8, 7 Central and streaming on Paramount+.

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