EP. 172 : MISSOURI - The KANSAS City Butcher: The Most Disturbing Serial Killer Story In American History (PT. 1)
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Warning. The following podcast is not suitable for all audiences. We go into great detail with every case that we cover and do our best to bring viewers even deeper into the stories by utilizing disturbing audio and sound effects. Trigger warnings from the stories we cover may include violence, rape, murder, and offenses against children. This podcast is not for everyone. You have been warned.

On April 2nd, 1988, in Kansas City, Missouri, 22-year-old Chris Bryson stood at the edge of a second-story window and weighed his options. He knew jumping could leave him with injuries, but nothing would be more painful than what he had endured inside of this home over the last four days. So with that, he jumped.

Luckily for him, there was adrenaline coursing through his body. So as soon as he hit the ground, he took off running. His eyes were swollen red and filled with fear. Chris was completely naked, except for the dog collar that had been fastened around his neck. There were deep ligature marks around his ankles, face, and wrists. Eventually, as he ran down the street,

He sees a man on the side of the road, and he begs for him to call the police. And when they finally arrive, he tells them a story that you only hear about in horror movies. Chris had been drugged, beaten, sodomized, tortured with electrodes, and injected with sedatives and the cleaning product Drano.

After recounting this story, Chris leads the officers to the home at 4315 Charlotte Street. From the outside looking in, the house was unremarkable, but the horrors that took place inside of these walls would forever change the community of Kansas City, Missouri. Once the officers made their way inside, they would find hundreds of Polaroid pictures of naked men in various states of torture. Down in the basement,

There was dried blood covering the floor, walls, and ceilings. There was a human skull in one of the closets, along with a bag full of human teeth. Over in the corner, they found a tray full of syringes and unidentified liquids that had been used in the torture. And lastly, there was even a notebook that detailed the extreme brutality of at least six male victims. As it turns out,

Right under their noses, a sadistic serial killer had been operating throughout the city. The man in question was an active member of the neighborhood crime watch. He was a local business owner and his name was Robert Berdella. So this is the twisted story of the Kansas City Butcher. I'm gonna give an extra trigger warning for this episode because we will be reading directly from his torture notebook

And it does get incredibly violent and disturbing, so please listen at your own discretion. But with that being said, I'm Courtney Browen. And I'm Colin Browen. And you're listening to Murder in America. Robert Andrew Berdella Jr., better known throughout his life as Bob, was born on January 31st, 1949 in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

At the time, his father, Robert Sr., worked as a die-setter at the Ford Motor Company, and his mom, Mary, was a homemaker. The Berdellas lived in a modest one-and-a-half-story home on Curtis Avenue, and they were respected members of their community. They were devout Catholics, and they were determined to raise their children in the church. So, for as long as Bob could remember, he would go to Mass with his family.

Another memory that stuck out from his childhood was his dad's strict parenting. They had high expectations for Bob, and there was no room for mistakes. If Bob ever disobeyed, he was quickly met with his dad's leather belt, and those beatings were relentless. So, he learned through experience to follow the rules, stay out of his dad's way, and to keep to himself.

Sadly, Bob's social life wasn't much better. When Bob would go to school as a child, it was very hard for him to make friends. He was quiet, shy, and socially awkward. He suffered from severe nearsightedness, so he had to wear thick prescription glasses. And on top of that, he had a lisp, so kids his age would often make fun of him.

Bob would later say that he was constantly ridiculed and bullied by his classmates, which only made him more withdrawn. He never had any friends growing up. He spent most of his time all by himself reading books. Then, when he would come home from school, he had to deal with the wrath of his father. Bob was beaten so much as a kid, he would often show up to class covered in bruises. One classmate said, quote,

I felt sorry for the guy, but not sorry enough to hang out with him." And things would only get worse from there. In May of 1956, when Bob was seven years old, his parents would have another child named Daniel. At first, Bob was excited to have a little brother. Finally, he could have some companionship.

But that would not be the case. It soon became clear that Daniel was his parents' favorite child. Not only was he the baby of the family, but he was also more social and outgoing. He didn't have problems making friends like Bob did. And as the boys grew up,

Their dad would make everything a competition, with Daniel always being the winner. So instead of growing up with a companion, Daniel coming into the picture only made Bob feel more isolated. Robert Sr. also believed that all young boys should play sports, but Bob was very unathletic, which really upset his father.

In Robert's mind, his eldest son wasn't manly enough, but Bob hated sports. He was the type of kid who would rather read books and work on his coin and stamp collections than run around outside. He was highly intelligent and always did really well in school. In high school, Bob was even chosen to be a part of this art program that was only given to three students from their entire school. And he was really proud of himself. But again, his parents didn't think it was that important.

So, over the years, Bob grew resentment towards everyone. His mom and dad, his classmates, and the world in general. And something else that caused him a lot of inner turmoil was that as Bob grew older and started going through puberty, he realized that he didn't like women. He was gay. But growing up in a strict Catholic household, homosexuality was forbidden, so he never told anyone. Hiding this part of himself from the world was hard.

And he became overcome with shame, guilt, and fear that his family would one day find out who he really was. Bob was mostly afraid of what his dad would think if he found out he was gay. For his entire life, Robert Sr. already accused Bob of not being manly enough for his standards. So the thought of him finding out was terrifying. But in the end, Robert Sr. would never find out.

because on Christmas Day of 1965, at only 39 years old, he would die of a heart attack while visiting family members for the holidays. Bob was only 16 years old and his brother Daniel was 9. And although Robert Sr. was abusive, his death was very traumatic for Bob.

In the midst of his grief, Bob tried turning to his religion to bring him comfort. But that too was difficult. He felt like an imposter and the shame of being gay constantly weighed on him.

Then, to make matters even worse, his mom Mary moved on very quickly after his father's passing. In fact, she married someone just months after they buried Robert Sr. And Bob felt betrayed. He was angry with his mom for replacing their dad so quickly.

and he never fully accepted his new stepdad. Feeling broken and hopeless, Bob decided to turn his attention towards cooking. It was a hobby of his that brought him a lot of comfort, and he was good at it. He even took a part-time job as a line cook at a local restaurant to earn some extra money. Bob liked the job at first, but that too was all about to change. One day while at work,

Bob was all alone with another male employee at the restaurant. He went into the back room to grab something and the coworker followed him in there. And from there, Bob was sexually assaulted. Sadly, this was Bob's first ever sexual experience. And it was filled with fear. Following the assault, Bob felt even more shame than he ever had before. So he didn't tell anybody about what happened.

These formative years were very difficult to say the least. First his dad died, then his mom brought a new man into their home, and then finally the sexual assault. Bob was angry with the world and with God for allowing all of this to happen. So it's around this time when he stopped going to church altogether.

In the meantime, Bob tried to keep himself busy, as he always did. To distract himself from the horrors of life, he turned to art and films. Surprisingly, horror films brought him a lot of comfort. But there was one film in particular that he was obsessed with. The 1965 psychological horror film called The Collector, which is about a man who stalks a young female art student before abducting her and holding her captive in his farmhouse basement.

In the end, the man kills his captive and goes on to find other victims. Now, for whatever reason, when Bob watched it for the first time, he was inspired. He loved the movie so much, he watched it over and over again. And it wasn't that he appreciated the art of the horror film. It was the story itself that he obsessed over. For his entire life, Bob had never really had friends. He never had romantic partners. Everyone he tried to get close to rejected him.

So the thought of taking some against their will and having complete control over them was exciting. And this film would go on to inspire his future crimes. He would later say, "The movie gave me the framework to be able to fantasize it. I started allowing my dark fantasies to come true."

Bob would graduate from Cuyahoga Falls High School, and he was excited to finally be on his own. He wanted to get far away from his past, so he left Ohio altogether and moved nearly 800 miles away to Kansas City, Missouri. While there, he enrolled in the Kansas City Art Institute with dreams of becoming a successful chef.

or maybe even an art teacher. Upon starting his classes, Bob proved himself to be a good student.

He was smart, so he did well. But like many college students, Bob also used this time to experiment with substances. At first, it was just alcohol and marijuana. Bob liked the way it made him feel. It made him more outgoing and social. During this time, Bob was also surrounded by other students who would actually talk to him. He was known to get in debates with people, and because he was intelligent, he would

He would use this opportunity to show off his knowledge on certain topics. It made him feel smart and important. Now during his time in college, Bob expanded his drug use to LSD and even amphetamines. He seemed to have really embraced the 60s hippie era by growing out his hair and having a shaggy beard. He was known to speak negatively about organized religion and the nuclear family.

At parties, people said Bob would just randomly break out in these strange dance moves. For the first time in his life, he felt free. He was no longer confined by the rules of his parents or by society. And it's at this point in his life where Bob even started selling drugs. As a broke college kid, he figured it would be a great way to earn some money on the side.

But eventually this lifestyle would catch up to him. In January of 1968, at just 19 years old, Bob was arrested for selling meth to an undercover agent.

He pleaded guilty to the crime and received a five-year suspended sentence. But he didn't seem to have learned his lesson because just one month later in February of 1968, he was arrested again for possession of LSD and marijuana. For that stint, he spent five days in jail, but eventually the charges were dropped.

It's clear that during this time, Bob had a fascination with drugs. He also had dark fantasies involving torture, and soon enough his deviant behavior began to manifest. Now, trigger warning, this next part includes animal cruelty, so skip forward about 30 seconds if you don't want to hear it. But during this time, Bob would find random animals, and he would bring them back to his apartment and inject them with various sedatives to see the effects it would have on them.

And he started getting pretty bold with it. According to his classmates, Bob once brought a duck to class and chopped its head off right in front of everyone. He then danced around in his classroom with the duck's bloody corpse. His classmates were horrified, but Bob argued that it was merely art. Then, in 1969, Bob brought a dog home and injected it with sedatives until it passed away.

He then used the dead dog as a part of an art exhibit. As you can imagine, the school was not pleased with this, and during his junior year, they kicked him out.

After leaving the Art Institute, Bob decided to enter the workforce and honest living. His days of drug dealing were over and it was time for him to grow up. Eventually, he got a job as a short order cook at a restaurant called Sidney's and he worked really hard to save up all of his money.

And one thing to know about Bob is that he was a hard worker. Whatever he was doing, he was going to give it his all. After leaving school, his next goal was to buy himself a house. So he saved up every penny he earned as a cook. He even started a little side business, selling unique artifacts and folk art from the Middle East. And eventually his hard work paid off.

At the young age of 20, Bob had saved up enough money to buy himself a house at 4315 Charlotte Street.

Of course, back then, buying a home was a lot easier than it is today. In fact, the down payment on his house was only $100. Now, the house he bought was nothing remarkable. It was built in the 1930s, but it was spacious and in a good area known as the Hyde Park District. After moving in, many of the neighbors came by and introduced themselves. They would later say that he was friendly enough

He would smile and wave when they crossed paths. But he mostly kept to himself. They didn't think anything of it. And they definitely never suspected that the young man who moved in down the street would one day change their neighborhood forever. - Now, throughout his early 20s, Bob's life was looking up. Not only was he a homeowner, but also he became an accomplished chef, working at various well-known restaurants and country clubs.

He began to love the community he lived in, and he even decided to give back by starting a teaching program for young, aspiring chefs. He also became friendly with his neighbors. He would show up for fundraisers and socialize with the people around him.

When Penny Crime began to infiltrate their neighborhoods, Bob signed up to be a part of the Neighborhood Watch and Crime Prevention Association so that they could keep their community safe. Eventually, he would even become a chairman for the association where he would give advice to homeowners on how to keep burglars away.

Slowly but surely, Bob was becoming a respected member of their community. Throughout this time, he also had a creative outlet where he would collect and sell art and antiques. He had been doing this ever since he was kicked out of college and he loved it. Over the years, he had developed a pretty big collection that he kept at his house on Charlotte Street. And art collectors would come and go out of his house, buying his work. His collection was so big, he even named it "Bob's Bazaar Bazaar".

And it was indeed bizarre. On his shelves, Bob not only had art, but he had jewelry, rare books on subjects like the occult, and he had oddities like shrunken heads and human skulls. He also had a lot of connections from importers in Europe, New York, and South America. And his collection became pretty popular. So much so, that Bob was actually able to quit his job as a chef to do this full time.

But as his business grew, he didn't want to run his shop out of his home anymore. So he eventually rented his own booth at the old Westport Flea Market in Westport. One of his college friends, a man named John Stith said, "He was very scholarly about this stuff he collected. He evidently had taught himself." Here's Bob in 1983 talking to a local news station about his business.

I started collecting and dealing in ethnic folk art back in '71. And then in '78, I came over here to basically temporarily clean out my basement. I had a basement sale to clean out my house, and then I came over here to clean out my basement. Just did very well and started bringing over so many stuff that I was dealing in as far as the ethnic jewelry and folk art. Around this time, Bob was doing really well for himself.

He had his creative business, the respect of his community, and he seemed to be more comfortable in his sexuality. In 1982, after a lifetime of hiding the fact that he was gay,

Bob had his first official relationship with a man. Now, there isn't much known about who this man was, other than the fact that he was a Vietnam veteran. There also isn't much information on what their relationship was like. But we do know that it ended after a few short weeks. Bob took the breakup pretty hard. I can imagine that after decades of shame and guilt,

Allowing someone into your life couldn't have been easy. And then, just as quickly as Bob opened up his heart, they left, leaving him heartbroken and confused. The feeling of rejection was too much to bear. So from here, Bob started pursuing men who wouldn't reject him because...

He had to pay for their services. It's around this time when Bob started driving around the streets of Kansas City looking for male sex workers and drug addicts. And not only would he pay them for sex, but he would also let them stay at his house for free.

which was much better than living on the streets. These services also allowed Bob to experiment with his fantasies, like bondage and pain. But this would only satisfy him for so long. Over time, his fantasies grew darker and more disturbed. He became possessive over the sex workers that stayed with him.

wanting to control every aspect of their lives. And he would use them until they couldn't take it anymore. This toxic environment made it to where no one stayed for long. And after someone would leave, Bob would immediately make his way back out to the streets to try and find another young man to take advantage of.

Eventually, Bob's neighbors started noticing all of the men that were coming in and out of his home, and they were concerned. But when they confronted him about it, Bob played it off. He would tell the neighbors that these were just old friends of his who needed some help.

He told them that he was like their big brother, helping them escape their bad situations, but they were harmless. The neighbors were definitely suspicious, but as long as the young men weren't causing any trouble, there wasn't much they could do. However, in reality, Bob was not their big brother. He was taking advantage of these young men and using them to satisfy his dark sexual needs.

It's around this time when Bob's reputation in his community begins to suffer. When he was the chairman of the Neighborhood Crime Prevention Association, he was telling people to keep their neighborhoods safe and to be vigilant of transients coming through. But now, he's constantly having all of these men in and out of his home. And not only that, but Bob also started neglecting the appearance of his house. His porch was now littered with piles of junk and firewood logs were strewn about the front yard.

At one point, he even started having problems with one of his neighbors. So, to creep the neighbor out, he put this spooky-looking doll in his window.

Now, many people who knew Bob said that his personality was definitely an acquired taste. They said he was okay to be around when it was just you and him, but when he got in front of a group, he would single someone out and belittle them. One of his friends admitted, around other people he'd start acting out until it reached the point where he tended to be left out of invitations to do group things.

If he saw somebody who was new, he'd try to shock them. It didn't shock us, it embarrassed us. It was also known that Bob was pretty insecure. Over the years, he was known to drink and do drugs, and because of that, it had caused him to gain some weight, and he was self-conscious about it. He also complained that he wanted surgery to improve his protruding jaw, and that's probably another reason he turned to sex workers.

He was extremely self-conscious, and they never outwardly judged him on his appearance. But after a while, even the sex workers weren't enough to fulfill him. He hated the fact that if he wanted to be intimate with someone, he had to pay for it. With each sexual encounter, Bob grew more resentful. All the while, his fantasies were growing more dark and disturbed. He desperately wanted someone to satisfy those urges. Someone who wouldn't leave him.

or someone who couldn't leave him. - Soon enough, in 1984, Bob had his sights set on 19-year-old Jerry Howell. He'd actually known Jerry for the past four years or so because his dad, Paul, rented a booth at the Westport Flea Market.

Bob's booth was nearby, so he would often see young Jerry walking around, and over the years they had developed a friendship of sorts. Jerry would wander over to Bob's booth to hear stories about his interesting artifacts and where they came from. And after a while, Bob even opened up to Jerry about how he was gay, and the two would joke about gay sex.

Now at the time, Jerry was still a minor, so these conversations were definitely not appropriate.

And when Jerry's dad Paul heard about these conversations, he wasn't happy. Over the years, Paul had heard rumors about how Bob was constantly in the company of young men, and he didn't want his son to fall victim. So he ordered Jerry to stay away from him. One day, Paul even approached Bob and threatened him to keep his distance.

But sadly, Jerry Howell didn't have the easiest life. His family struggled financially and to help make ends meet, he would help his dad out by working his booth at the flea market. However, money was still tight. And in the late 70s and early 80s, while Jerry was still a minor, he turned to prostitution. Jerry would also get in trouble with the law for petty crimes. So after a while, his legal bills started to pile up. And he didn't have the money to pay for it.

So instead of worrying his father, Jerry decided to go to Bob Berdella. From their conversations over the years, Jerry knew that Bob often helped young men who were struggling. So in March 1984, Bob and Jerry came up with an agreement. Bob would give Jerry money as long as he kept up with chores around his house. But there was also an unwritten rule to this agreement.

Bob didn't just want Jerry to be his house cleaner, but also his companion. If Bob was going out to eat, Jerry would be right there with him. If Bob wanted to go to the movies, Jerry had to go as well. They also had parties at Bob's house on Charlotte Street.

where Bob would provide everyone with alcohol, weed, and pills. For a few months, this seemed to be a pretty good arrangement for Jerry. But soon enough, Bob wanted more from him. Apparently, the two did engage in sex from time to time, but eventually Jerry started refusing his advances, which really upset Bob. Since he was helping Jerry pay for his legal bills, he felt like he was entitled to sex.

So Bob started demanding that Jerry pay him back. But Jerry didn't have the money. Bob would later say, "This was not the first time that Jerry would agree to do something, to start repaying this and then just blow it off." So Bob started coming up with a plan. In his mind, 19-year-old Jerry was going to pay him back one way or another.

On the evening of July 4th, 1984, Bob picked Jerry up and brought him back to his house on Charlotte Street. The two shared a six-pack of Coors and a few joints. And after a while, they were feeling pretty good. Jerry was excited for the night ahead. He had plans on going to a dance contest at around 7:00 PM, but little did he know

he would never get the chance. You see, earlier that day, Bob stopped by a veterinarian supply shop. When he walked up to the front desk, he told them that he needed animal tranquilizers. He said that they were for his own dogs and that for years he treated his dogs himself. And for whatever reason, this shop just willingly gave over the drugs. Now, Bob did breed these big Chow Chow dogs,

But this medication wasn't for them. That night, as Jerry was getting drunk in Bob's living room, he couldn't stop thinking about his diabolical plan. First, he gave Jerry some Valium to lower his inhibitions. The two had taken Valium together in the past, so this wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

This time, Bob gave him several of the pills so that Jerry would pass out, and soon enough he drifted off to sleep on Bob's bed. So far, everything was going according to plan. With Jerry asleep, Bob now had complete control. He was excited. This was the moment he had been dreaming about since he was 16 years old, when he first watched the movie The Collector. He now had a captive of his own.

and he wanted to remember every detail. So it's here where Bob pulls out a notebook. In it, he would keep a detailed account of everything that would happen that night. And he starts with the following. - 6:40, falls asleep.

Bob decided that he not only wanted to keep a written account of what would happen, but he also wanted a visual to look back on. So after each step of his process, he snapped a picture of what he was doing on his Polaroid. Now once Jerry was asleep, Bob grabs the animal tranquilizer and a syringe. After filling it up, he walks over to Jerry and injects it into his arm.

He then updates his notebook and snaps a picture. - Seven o'clock, one cc pH arm. - According to Bob, pH stood for heavy tranquilizer. Now later on, when Bob asked why he was doing all of this, he would say, quote,

So that's exactly what he did.

At 7:25pm, Bob injected Jerry once again, this time with 2 cc's of chlorpromazine. But that wasn't enough for him, because just 5 minutes later at 7:30, he injected him with 3 more cc's. Bob was having fun. It was an experiment of sorts, just like he used to do with animals while he was in college. But this was even more exciting.

At 7.55 p.m., Bob pulled down Jerry's pants and injected his buttocks with 11 more cc's. And the whole time, he's documenting this in his notebook. 8.40, injected with a total of 29 cc's.

By this point, Jerry was completely sedated by all of the tranquilizers he had been given. So now it was time for Bob to move on to the next part of his plan. First, he started by removing all of Jerry's clothes. He then used some rope to tie his arms and legs to the bed. Then he updated his notebook and snapped another picture. - 8:45, tied.

The next thing Bob wrote down in his notebook were the times 9 o'clock through 10 o'clock, and next to it he wrote the letter F. Bob would later say that the F stood for fucked, meaning he spent that hour raping Jerry on his bed. But sadly, the violent assault went on way past 10 o'clock.

Bob would later say that he raped and sodomized Jerry for hours. It went well into the next morning. Throughout the entire thing, Jerry was unconscious. But at around 8:15 a.m. on July 5th, he slowly began to emerge from his sedation. He woke up, he felt an incredible amount of pain. And as soon as Bob saw that he was moving, he quickly grabbed his syringe and injected him with more.

He did this several times that morning and continued on with the sexual assault. 840 CF. CF stood for carrot fuck. Bob would later admit, quote, I used a carrot to sodomize the anus, end quote.

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After hours of fulfilling his dark fantasy and capturing all of it in photographs, Bob knew it was time to stop. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to go to work. So before leaving, he injected Jerry with more tranquilizers, ensuring that he wouldn't be able to leave. And with that, Bob got dressed, walked out of his house, and went on with his day like nothing even happened. When Bob got to work that morning, he acted completely normal.

No one noticed anything odd about his behavior. But he did leave work early that day. He was only at the flea market for about four hours before he packed up his stuff and went back home. Perhaps he was worried that Jerry would wake up soon.

or maybe he was just excited to continue on with his sick little game. According to his notebook, he returned home at 3pm and immediately injected Jerry with more tranquilizers. And for the next few hours, Bob abused, tortured, and raped him. But as the day went on, Bob knew that this could only end in one of two ways. He could either let Jerry go, or risk getting arrested, or he could kill him. Bob would later say, I at that point did not intend or have a desire to kill him.

but I was probably under the functioning recollection that there were only two options: he stayed here or he leaves. By 5:15 p.m. Jerry started to wake up and he even attempted to pull on his restraints and squirm around on the bed.

I can imagine that when he came to, he was terrified and not to mention in a lot of pain. Once Jerry came to the realization of what was happening, he repeatedly asked Bob to let him go. But sadly by then, Bob had already made up his mind. So with that, he put a gag in Jerry's mouth.

He then prepared two syringes filled with a total of 21 cc's of tranquilizers and injected them into his body. - 5:40, still fighting restraints, eyes fixed, some move in lips. - 20 minutes later, he updated the notebook again. - 6 o'clock, still fighting.

From here, Bob wrote down the letters RP, which he said stood for rape. He also noted that Jerry was still attempting to fight back. Next, he wrote down CUC-R, which meant cucumber rape. Once again, Bob spent the next few hours brutally raping and torturing Jerry. The assault had been so traumatic on his body, Bob said he was now bleeding from his anus.

Bob also noted that the feeling he felt during this time was exactly what he had been looking for his entire life. All the suppressed feelings of rage and resentment that had built up within him were gone. However, after over 24 hours of torture, Jerry's body had given up. Around 10:00 PM on July 6th, Bob wrote in his notebook that Jerry had stopped breathing.

He said, "The best I could tell, either because of the gag and/or the medications, that he either asphyxiated on vomit or the combination of the gag and the medicines were too strong for him to be able to catch breath or breathe." Upon seeing this, Bob started to panic. He even attempted to resuscitate Jerry by performing CPR. However, it was of no use. 19-year-old Jerry Howell was dead.

Hey, everybody. Courtney and I have a favor to ask of you. If you love Murder in America, you love our show, please leave us a five-star review wherever you listen to your podcasts, whether that's Apple Podcasts, Spotify. If you love our show and you want to help us grow, definitely consider leaving us a five-star review. Also, it helps the show so much when people share out links to our program. So if you're listening and you're loving what we're doing here, share us on your Instagram story, shout us out on X,

Post one of our shows on your Facebook and let the world, your friends, your family know that you're listening to Murder in America. It seriously helps us so much. It helps us grow the show. We couldn't do this without all of you listening at home. Seriously, thank y'all. But let's get back to the story. After realizing that there was nothing he could do, Bob said he just stood by Jerry's body, pondering his next move. He knew he didn't want to leave any evidence behind, so he needed to get rid of the body immediately.

After untying Jerry, Bob dragged his lifeless corpse into the basement and the unspeakable acts that came next would ultimately earn Bob the nickname, the Kansas City Butcher.

Downstairs in Bob's basement, he had installed this antique pulley system on a beam. Now it's unclear when he installed this and if he specifically did it for this purpose, but after bringing Jerry's body downstairs, he hoisted him into the air by his ankles using this pulley system. And for a second, Bob just watched

as Jerry's body slightly swung from side to side. He noticed himself growing more aroused. He even grabbed his Polaroid and snapped some pictures so he could masturbate to them later. Then from here, Bob went into his kitchen and grabbed a large cooking pot and he placed it underneath Jerry's body. He then grabbed a knife

After locating Jerry's jugular vein, Bob pressed the knife against it and made a deep cut. He also made two more cuts to the arteries on the inside of Jerry's elbows. And then he just watched as all of the blood drained from Jerry's body.

Bob realized that he was more aroused by this process than he expected. He found himself rubbing his genitals and snapping as many photographs as he could. But once the body was completely drained, Bob wasn't sure what he wanted to do next. He knew he needed to dismember Jerry, but he didn't know exactly how. So he actually left him hanging there for two whole days.

while he planned out his next move. During that time, Bob went about his normal schedule. He went by Bob's bizarre bazaar, speaking with customers and selling various oddities, completely unfazed by the acts he just committed.

But by that Saturday, he knew it was time to get rid of the body. If he waited any longer, the neighbors would likely start to smell something and get suspicious. So that evening, he went down into his basement and dumped out the pot of blood. Next, he laid out a large black plastic sheet on the floor of his basement.

After lowering Jerry's body from the pulley, he used a butcher knife to slice through his joints at his arms and legs. But he quickly found out that cutting through the bones was incredibly difficult. So it's here where Bob had to pull out his electric chainsaw. The dismemberment process was incredibly time consuming.

But after removing his head from his torso, Bob was finally finished. When he looked around, Jerry's body was in small manageable pieces scattered around the basement floor. And from here, Bob carefully wrapped each piece in newspaper and then placed them into multiple green plastic trash bags. The smell in the basement was strong. Bob hoped that the trash bags would help hide the smell.

but he wasn't sure if it was going to work. Along with the body parts, Bob also bagged up all of the other evidence he used in the crime, including the syringes, Jerry's clothing, various tranquilizers, and even the pulley system. Now, one would think that Bob would then discard all of this evidence himself so that it couldn't be linked to him, but

No. In fact, that Monday, July 9th, he simply placed all of the trash bags on the curb in front of his house. For the next few hours, he watched out of his window, patiently waiting for the trash truck to come by. And soon enough, they did. Bob watched as the sanitation workers grabbed each of the bags, one by one, and threw them into the back of their truck.

The men then drove away, completely unaware that they had just helped get rid of a murder victim. Soon enough, the dismembered body of 19-year-old Jerry Howell would be lost forever in a Kansas City landfill. Bob Berdella had just murdered his first victim, and for the time being, he got away with it.

With his first successful kill in the books, Bob spent the next few days relishing in his victory. He found himself reading his torture log over and over, reliving every moment. As he read the notebook, he also looked at the Polaroid pictures he took at each stage in the murder. He was unbelievably happy that he had these items so that he could go back and reminisce. And there was no part of him that felt any remorse. He would later say, "I wouldn't know if at that stage I was able to feel remorse.

That is something that, in trying to reconstruct all these events, defined out the point where I stopped having feelings such as remorse. But after about a week, Jerry's loved ones would start looking for him. Like we mentioned earlier, Jerry's dad Paul had a booth at the flea market where Bob worked. In the past, Paul had warned his son not to talk to Bob. But by that point, Jerry was an adult who could make his own decisions. So there wasn't much Paul could do.

In the weeks leading up to his murder, Paul knew that his son had been spending time with Bob, so when they couldn't get in contact with him, Paul reaches out demanding to know where his son is. Bob would later say, "By Sunday evening when I got home, Paul Howell Sr. called looking for Jerry, and from that point on I had to deal with a lot of pressure, and then eventually threats from Paul Howell."

And I believe that trying to deal with those threats, that pressure, probably deviated me away from the chance to start having feelings, emotions, dealing with it on a personal level, as opposed to trying to survive Paul Howell." Paul did report Jerry's disappearance to the police, and he even told them to look into Bob Berdella. And that's exactly what they would do. Soon enough, the police came knocking at Bob's door.

He was terrified. But when they started asking questions about Jerry, he remained calm and cool, and he denied any involvement. And somehow it worked. At the end of the day, the police knew that Jerry was likely a runaway. He had a troubled past, so surely that's what happened here. But Jerry's dad Paul wouldn't stop calling about his son.

So basically, they went to Bob's house to just check it off their list, to make it seem like they were doing their jobs. But from that point on, the police didn't suspect a thing of Bob Berdella. However, the police coming to his home really shook him up. Over the next 10 months, Bob lived in a constant state of paranoia. He thoroughly cleaned his basement,

and he even hollowed out a piece of his floor where he hid his torture notebook and Polaroid pictures. That way, if anyone came by to search his house, they would be hidden. But as he laid in bed at night, several scenarios continued to haunt him. - What if someone finds Jerry's body in the landfill? What if Paul Howell figures out what happened to his son? What if the neighbors heard the chainsaw?

But as each month went by, Bob's paranoia began to subside. If someone was going to find Jerry's body, then they probably would have by now. Bob had been so paranoid over the past 10 months, he didn't even have the urge to kill again. He did pull out his torture notebook and pictures, multiple times a day to masturbate to them,

And for a while, that was enough. But now, 10 months after the murder, that wasn't doing it for him anymore. And it's around this time when he started to get the urge to kill again. It was the spring of 1985, and Bob Berdella had started driving around Kansas City in search of another victim. And eventually, he would find one. This time, it was 23-year-old Robert Sheldon.

Robert was a known drifter in Kansas City who had actually stayed with Bob in the past. Now, with most of the people that Bob had quote-unquote helped, they would just stay with him for free. But with Robert, he had actually paid Bob to stay at his house in the past. He would essentially pay a small rent fee, and Bob would let him stay over and drink, but they never had any physical contact with each other.

Bob would later say that Robert was a very respectful guest. He always paid his rent on time. Even when he didn't have a lot of money, he would somehow always make it work. But after a few months of staying with him, Bob started getting that urge to kill again. He even started making notes about Robert in his torture book. In January of 1985, he wrote "RS on Binge", meaning Robert Sheldon was binge drinking.

and as winter turned to spring, Bob started getting more annoyed with his guest. Bob said that Robert would show up unannounced, get really drunk, and just pass out on his couch. Bob said, "His behavior was becoming annoying. It becomes an inconvenience." Along with his growing annoyance towards Robert, Bob's urge to kill was also growing. So in April of 1985, he decided that Robert Sheldon would be his next murder victim.

On April 10th, 1985, Robert once again showed up at Bob's doorstep and asked if he could stay there for a few days. In this time, Bob was happy to let him in. Over the next few hours, Robert consumed a lot of alcohol. By 9:30 PM, he was extremely drunk, which excited Bob.

That meant he would be easier to control. So he quietly left the room and filled up his syringes with the animal tranquilizers. When Robert wasn't looking, Bob carefully injected them into his arm. Robert was so drunk, he didn't even realize what happened.

In fact, he actually thought he had been bitten by a bug, so he casually swatted away the syringe. And interestingly, the tranquilizers didn't have much of an effect. So at around midnight, Bob injected him again. He then sat back and waited for the drugs to kick in. But to his surprise, Robert just started stumbling around. He complained of soreness in his back, but he was never fully sedated.

And by then, Bob was pretty frustrated, so he just decided to go to bed. The following afternoon, Robert complained to Bob about not feeling very well. He thought it was from the bar fights that he had been in in the days before. So interestingly enough, Bob actually took Robert to the Kansas City Medical Center. It's unclear why he did this, but after Robert was examined by the doctors, they sent him home with some antibiotics.

Bob would later admit that he didn't want to kill Robert at this point. It had been too much of a hassle, so he was just going to let him stay at his house for a few more days and then let him leave. However, on April 12th, Bob came home from work and found Robert in another drunken stupor, which immediately pissed him off. So Bob went over to the kitchen, grabbed Robert's antibiotics, emptied the capsule, and filled it with five crushed up Valiums.

He then handed the pill over to Robert and he took it, thinking it was his medication. - At around 9:00 PM, Robert finally passed out from the sedatives and immediately Bob carried him upstairs, removed his clothes and tied his arms and legs with rope. Once he was secured to the bed, Bob grabbed a syringe and administered a shot of tranquilizers. Then just like with Jerry, he started documenting the process in his notebook.

11:15 PM BF

Bob would later say that BF is "a notation that I buttfucked him." And then from here, he did something new. Bob went downstairs and grabbed a cotton swab and some Drano, which is a cleaning product that unclogs drains. Once back in the bedroom, Bob soaked the cotton swab into the Drano. He then lifted Robert's eyelid and rubbed the cotton swab around on his eyeball.

As soon as he did this, Robert woke up and started screaming. He tried to get away, but he was completely bound, so he couldn't move. Bob would later say that he did this to "obviously damage his eye and cause some pain," perhaps getting into being able to permanently damage his eyes, which would have then made it easier to keep him and control him.

Once he was finished, he marked this process down in his notebook. - 11:25 PM, DC. - He said the DC stood for drain cleaner. Now over the next few hours, Bob continued torturing Robert by sodomizing him with household objects, including a carrot. He also gave him a soap and water enema. Bob would later say that this part of the process was not sexual for him.

He said, "I didn't receive sexual gratification. This was gratification on the level of dominance, control, earning back." At 2:45 a.m., after hours of torture, Bob injected him with more tranquilizers. He then continued to rape and sodomize him as much as he could. Then hours later at 6:10 a.m., he administered another injection, followed by another experiment.

6:10 AM, plugged ears. - Bob admitted that after raping Robert, he tried caulking his ears, which is a liquid material that hardens and it seals any air from coming through. Now, Bob claimed that he did this so that he could control how much noise Robert could hear, but it didn't end up working because the caulk wouldn't adhere to the side of his ears. So as you can see, Bob is really experimenting here

He's trying to take away his victims' eyesight by putting Drano in their eyes. He's trying to take away their hearing

all so that he could have complete control. On top of that, seeing his victims in pain and completely helpless was exhilarating to him. At some point that morning, he even shoved needles under Robert's fingernails. He would later say, "I tried to see what kind of response, using regular hypodermic needles of pain spots,

or wear spots that he would react to, along the lines of like bamboo under the fingertips." Sadly, this torture went on for days. When Robert was alert enough to speak, he would beg Bob to let him go. But in response, Bob said that he grabbed a mallet and smashed it into the back of Robert's head. - 3:00 AM, EK.

On one of the nights, Bob placed two needles into Robert's skin and used a transformer to produce electric shocks. Bob said that he shocked Robert for several seconds using over 7,700 volts of electricity. By then, he had replaced Robert's rope restraints with piano wire. Bob said, "It was to cause nerve damage to the hands.

so that if I ever did untie him, he wouldn't have control or be able to use his hands." Over time, he was slowly learning what worked and what didn't. He was perfecting his craft. Bob even learned how much tranquilizer he needed to inject so that he could still go to work without them waking up.

Then, once he got back from work, the torture would continue. But on the evening of April 15th, days into the torture, Bob ran into a problem. When he came home from work that day, he saw that one of his friends, a man named Philip Bukovic, had come over to his house to repair his roof. This had been planned for weeks. But with all of the other things Bob had been up to, he had completely forgotten about it. So he panicked.

He ran up to his friend Philip, waiting outside and said, "Wait here, I'll be right back." He then ran inside, grabbed a plastic bag and put it over Robert's head. He didn't want to kill him just yet, but he couldn't risk his friend seeing or hearing his captive.

So he suffocated Robert right then and there as his friend waited outside. But even in a hurry, Bob made sure to grab his Polaroid and snap a picture. From there, Philip did the repair on his roof and as soon as he left, Bob started the dismemberment process.

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Now, last time, Bob used a large kitchen pot to catch the blood of his victim, but he quickly learned that that wasn't very effective. There was too much blood in the human body for a pot like that. So this time, he dragged Robert's body to the bathtub and used a razor blade to cut his main arteries. This time around, it took about 5 hours for all of the blood to drain from his body. But after it was complete, Bob used a boning knife to remove the arms and legs.

He then wrapped them up in trash bags and brought them down to the cool basement. But he left the torso and head in the bathtub upstairs for a while. It's unclear why he wanted to do this. Perhaps he just wanted to look at them for longer. The following day, he removed Robert's head and cut his torso into several pieces. He bagged up the torso and put them downstairs with the arms and legs. But this time, he decided to keep a souvenir. That afternoon,

Bob placed Robert's head into his freezer. Soon enough, it was trash day, and like he did before, Bob placed the rest of Robert's body on the curb in front of his house, and the sanitation workers loaded them into the truck without incident. Now, over the next few days, Bob said that he often looked at the skull that was sitting in his freezer. After a few days, he even took it out and played with it, but removing his skin and hair.

Then, once he was finished, he buried it in his backyard. As for why he kept the skull, instead of throwing it away with the rest of Robert's body, Bob said, "I think I just filed it away for future reference. I can't come up with a direct reason as to why I kept his skull. Since you have to deal with the families, let me make the statement that it was not kept as any kind of religious, occult, or any kind of belief reason for keeping the skull."

Like his previous victim, Jerry Howell, the rest of Robert's body was taken to the Kansas City landfill, where it would never be found.

Somewhere among the piles and piles of trash were the bodies of two young men, and no one even knew. Now over the next few months, Bob masturbated to the pictures he took of Robert nearly every day. And something about these photos were even better than his first victims. You see, with Jerry, he was heavily sedated throughout the entire process, but with Robert,

he was kept pretty lucid throughout the torture. So in the photos of him, he was somewhat awake, something Bob got off on.

He loved the amount of control and dominance he held over Robert. And soon enough, he was itching for his next victim. Unlike the first murder, Bob was much more confident this time around. After getting away with it twice, he felt invincible. So after just a few short months, Bob started looking for another young man. And this time, he decided to zero in on Mark Wallace,

The 20-year-old who cut his grass. Mark had been inside Bob's house a few times, but this time, Mark just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. On the night of June 22, 1985, Mark Wallace had been walking around Bob's neighborhood when it started to rain, and off in the distance, he saw Bob's house. Now, like we mentioned, he had cut Bob's lawn in the past, so he decided to run over to his tool shed to get out of the rain.

Bob had some dogs that he kept outside, and they started barking like crazy, seeing that someone had run onto the property. Bob would later say that when he heard his dogs outside, he went to the window to see what was going on, and there he saw Mark Wallace standing by his tool shed. So he went out there, and invited him in the house to dry out and get warm. As the two made their way inside, Mark took a seat on Bob's couch, and they started talking.

Immediately, Bob said he could tell that Mark had been drinking, and he also seemed really sad. Mark spoke about his mother being out of the country, and that the only family members he had were his sisters, but they hadn't been getting along. So, according to Bob, he asked Mark if he wanted some drugs to make him feel better, and allegedly, Mark said yes. From there, Bob filled up a syringe with 1.5 cc's of chlorpromazine and put it into Mark's arm.

He then updated his torture notebook.

Now Bob would later admit that he wasn't even sure if he wanted Mark to be one of his victims. He was a good kid who never did anything wrong. But Bob had been looking for another victim lately and Mark just kind of walked right in. He also had been having some family troubles so Bob figured Mark would be a good victim. No one would really come looking for him, which was ideal. So he decided to follow through with it.

And over the course of the next few hours, Bob continued to inject Mark with various tranquilizers. 12:45 AM, five cc of clopromazine and one full injection of ketamine out like a light. Around 4:00 PM, Bob carried Mark into his bedroom, undressed him, and then tied him to the bed with piano wire. 4:00 AM, butt fuck, carrot fuck. 4:30 AM, butt fuck.

5:30 AM, butt fuck. 6:00 AM, butt fuck. - By 6:00 AM, Bob had raped Mark five different times. And that's not even including the times he was sodomized with various objects. And by 6:45 AM, Bob still wasn't finished. This time in his notebook,

He wrote the words "front fuck" which meant that Mark was lying on his back with his legs pushed up to his chest during the assault. And next to it, he also wrote the words "alligator clips" which meant that during the assault, Bob had put clips onto Mark's nipples

and testicles, and he wired them to a transformer for electrocution. So not only was Mark being raped, but he was also being electrocuted at the same time. - 6:45 AM, front fuck, alligator clips. 7:05 AM, front fuck, alligator clips. - Bob would later say that this was the first time he became aroused by sadomasochistic sex.

So once again, Bob is experimenting.

Throughout that entire morning, 20-year-old Mark Wallace had been repeatedly raped, sodomized, sedated, electrocuted, and tortured. Bob said that anytime Mark would start to come to, he would hit him in the back of the head with a mallet because it, quote, caused a little disorientation. Then at around 10 a.m., it was time for Bob to leave for work, so he injected Mark with tranquilizers in his neck.

and then he left to sell his oddities at the flea market. Hours later, Bob returned home from work to find Mark completely awake, trying to remove his bindings. So Bob injected him once again, and immediately he continued on with the rape and torture. - 6:10 PM, playing around with needles.

Bob said that he wanted to experiment with acupuncture. He wanted to see how the muscles and nerves reacted to needles. So for the next 20 minutes, he inserted needles into Mark's back, testicles, and eyeballs. - 6:30 PM, alligator clips. - After the acupuncture, Bob clamped the alligator clips into Mark's nipples and watched as his body violently convulsed on the bed.

And all the while, he snapped photographs of the process. A few minutes later, Bob experimented with something else. In his notebook, he wrote the words fist fuck, which meant he tried to shove his entire fist inside Mark's anus. But Bob became frustrated when it didn't work. He even tried to give him a soap and water enema to cleanse everything and for lubrication.

but it wasn't working. And it's around this time when Bob realized that Mark was deceased. - 7:00 PM, no signs of life. - Now Bob was kind of disappointed. Mark died a lot sooner than he expected. In his mind, he would have several more days with him before he died, but it didn't work out that way. With Bob, it was never the kill that excited him. It was everything leading up to it. If it were up to him,

He never wanted the men to die, so he could control and torture them indefinitely. But there's only so much a human body can take, and Mark's body had had enough. Now Mark ended up passing away on the evening before trash pickup, so Bob knew that he had to get to work quickly if he was going to get rid of the body by morning.

So with that, he untied him, dragged his body into the bathtub, and quote, made cuts in his arms and groin and leg areas to allow the blood to flow out, end quote.

Bob knew that he was working against the clock, but he would later say that Mark was smaller than his other victims. So the dismemberment process was easy. Like with the others, Bob cut up Mark's body into pieces, put them in trash bags, and had them on the curb after only a few hours. This time, Bob decided not to keep any trophies. And by early that next morning,

The trash trucks loaded the body up and discarded it into the landfill. With three successful murders under his belt, Bob Berdella was getting confident. He now knew what he liked and what he didn't like. He was discovering new kinks and fantasies with each victim, new methods of torture. He was figuring the dosages of the tranquilizers, and he was even perfecting the craft of dismemberment.

Sadly, Jerry Howell, Robert Sheldon, and Mark Wallace all vanished without a trace. And with the exception of Jerry Howell's father, Paul, no one even noticed that they had disappeared. After his first kill, Bob was scared. He figured at any moment the police would come to arrest him. But they never did. Bob would later say, "I responded to the Jerry Howell incident with disgust, fear,

As I went into '85 and running into the frustrations of these individuals that I lived with and dealt with in the past, my attitude became: "If they're there, if they make themselves available, fuck it." I just gave up caring anymore. I became calloused. And that's exactly what happened. Bob not only became desensitized to these murders, but he also grew more confident.

because no one in Kansas City, Missouri even realized that a sadistic serial killer was operating right under their noses.

Now, for this episode, we're going to be making a donation to the Greater Kansas City Coalition to End Homelessness. They help the unhoused people in their community and provide them with the resources they need. But if you're a Patreon member, part two is going to be available shortly after this episode goes live on all streaming platforms. But if not, join us next week as we walk you through the rest of Robert Berdella's killings and the subsequent capture of the Kansas City Butcher.

All right, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Murder in America. So this was an episode that I actually picked out that I suggested to Courtney because I had heard about the crimes of Robert Berdella and he's a name that comes up when you research true crime and true crime stories. But I had personally never read really the details of what happened to these poor victims. And I

I think that you guys can all agree that it's pretty traumatizing stuff to even just read about and think about in your own mind. I mean, it's really like that's the most horrific of the horrific. It's just absolutely disturbing and disgusting.

And so, yeah, thank you for bearing with us through that section of details. But if you want to hear more Murder in America, if you want to gain access to the second part of Robert Berdella early, go sign up for our Patreon account. On Patreon, you can get bonus episodes of the show. You can get early access to the episodes, add free access to the episodes. So if you love the show and you want to help us grow,

grow, you want to support what we do here, definitely hit up our Patreon. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Murder in America. Join our Facebook group. And yeah, we will be back next week with part two of the Kansas City Butcher, Robert Berdella. I will see you on the next one.