The Sign of Four - Part Two
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Go to patreon.com/sherlockandco for bonus material, early access to episodes, ad-free listening, transcripts and much more. That's patreon.com/sherlockandco. Okay. Uh, John, I did it. Uh, do I just hit stop or...? Previously on Sherlock and Co. My son, my son is missing.

Tonga Bajoie. He escaped out the window? Not just once. If you look closely, that indentation has been repeated and made a number of times. Lookie here now. What have we got? A box. Child's music box. Open it, open it, open it. Oh Tonga, what were you up to little fellow? A lot of cash for a kid. Look. Holy shiny diamond.

Uh, yeah, clarity in color. Uh, decent. Uh, nice stone. Maybe give one of the other lads a go, you know? Why would this diamond, this ordinary diamond according to you, make you feel so uncomfortable, Bernie? The Surakula. Surakula? God's heart.

That may well be its kin. Sorry, what? What? What now? Takes a long time to explain, but basically that's a very, very rare diamond with one hell of a backstory. He had been escaping his room at night and had hidden away this box containing that little diamond, a travel card, and this. Wow.

I didn't realise being a 14-year-old was so lucrative. Then there's this rather interesting scratch underneath the box. Four scrapes. So, yeah. 2000, 2200. Oh, wait, what's this? What is it? In the notes, there's a...

Picture? Yeah, it's a picture of a woman. Where did you get that picture from? From the box. Why? I know her. You know her? That's Mary. That's Mary Morstan. Does a missing boy in Hounslow...

Have a picture of your ex-girlfriend? No, hold on. She's not my ex-girlfriend. Right. No, no, of course. Yeah, I... Wait. What is she again? They were going to have a date, but she didn't arrive. Can we just... Please, that is not what happened. That's exactly what happened. Right. A, it wasn't solely a date. I mean, it had a datey aspect to it, yes, but I was going to interview her for my podcast. And B...

It's not like she stood me up. There was a medical emergency that she got distracted by. Why were you going to interview her? Because I was making a show about war vets. Have you not listened to episode one? Nope. Yeah, I haven't either. For God's sake. Do you want an ice cream? No, thank you, mate. Okay. Okay.

Do you? No, thanks. Why don't you want an ice cream? I just don't really feel like one. Summer's over as far as I'm concerned. None of this Indian summer luck that British people convince themselves of every autumn. So, do you want to call her? I feel like if you call her... I'm going to feel rather stupid being the only one that is eating an ice cream. Fine, fine. I'll have an ice cream. I'll have that one. The red one.

That's an ice lolly, not an ice cream. Sherlock. OK, fine. Marianna, Christmas decorations are up in some shops. You can't have an ice lolly. Well, it's red, isn't it? And Christmas is red. Santa is red. Do you want an ice cream? Please, please stop asking me if I want an ice cream. Archie, this way. Who's his friend?

Oh, that thing. John, that's mean. That's a dog. I think Archie just plays with them because it makes Archie seem better looking by comparison. Look at that thing. Long-haired, lop-eared creatures. Half spaniel, half lurcher, I think. Oh, look at the way he walks. Waddles. He waddles. Oh, oh, he's coming this way. Shh. He's a dog, Mariana. Oh, good Lord. What on earth is that? Oh, your new best mate. What a nose. What do you mean?

Where he's sniffing. That stain. See? Well, hopefully this is motivating you to do the laundry. No. That stain is oxymorphone. Oh, he's a nook. Hi, lovely boy. Hello. Oh, hello. What is your name? Toby. Hello, Toby. Oh, oh. You know, I think I like ugly dogs. Yes, I think I do. Oui, yes, I do.

Oh, hello. Oh, hi. Wait, Inspector Forrester? Hi! Oh, hey. How are you? I'm good. Forrester. Hi, Sherlock. Good to see you. This is Toby. We just met. He's a specialist. Search dog. Retired. That's right. You don't take a day off the deductions, do you? I couldn't think of anything worse.

He's good. He's very, very good. The Sherlock of dogs. Not far off, yeah. Yeah, he looks like you actually, Sherlock. He's restless and irritable. Yeah, he needs to work, to be honest. He's been really, really bloody difficult since they adopted him.

He just can't focus without a job or task. Well, he really is the Sherlock of dogs. Remarkable creature. Truly remarkable. Aren't you? Yes, you are. Excuse me. What? There's a podgy little bloke present that can hear you fawning over someone else. You're admitting you've gained weight then? Yeah, very funny, mate.

Aye. What kind of things does he use in his bed? Whatever's required, really. Obviously, he's pretty adept at explosives and narcotics. That was his day-to-day work before retirement, eh, boy? Yeah, but you can get him to search out just about anything. Noted. He's retired, Sherlock. We'll see about that. Good to meet you, Toby. Until next time. Have a good one, guys. Bye. Bye-bye.

Not being rude here. How do I know Forrester? Reigate Squire. Reigate Squire, of course. Righto, back to the case. If you could give her a call, John, and we can get this ball rolling. Who, sorry? Miss Mary Morstan of Turnpike Lane. And say what? Oh, hi, Mary. Sorry we never got together for that date. Remember the podcast I was going to interview you for? Great, cool. Well, it's a true crime podcast now, and a young Indian boy had a picture of you in a box with cash and a diamond, and now he's missing. See you in a bit. Cheers. Cheers.

Well, yes. I think that should do the trick. It was sarcasm. I detected a hint. I really did. Oh, did you sniff it out, did you? Like your beloved Toby? Come on, Arch, let's go chase pigeons. He has duck poo all over his paws. All right, fine. Let's clean our paws and then go chase pigeons. What's the big deal with calling her? Why are you being such a drama queen? I'm not. Because I don't want to, like...

Stir up sort of... Feelings? Yeah, feelings. Stuff. Stuff and things. You know, all that bollocks. And you wonder why Better Hope doesn't sponsor the show. Have you listened to episode one, John? I edited it, Sherlock. What do you think? Yes, but have you listened since? No. No, I haven't. And why not? Because...

I dunno, self-critical. All artists are like that. Artists? Geez! Look at Vincent van Gogh. Bloke chopped his ear off. The only people chopping their ears off in this gust are the listeners. You're so funny, Mariana. Eat your stupid ice lolly. But hold on. You re-listen to the show loads. It can't be self-critical. I just... I like this version of me, not that one. Alright? Cool. Thanks. I'm sorry.

What the hell are you talking about? She didn't show up, okay? She didn't show up and my life was... It was at a fork in the road and at that fork it forked off into a different direction and I like this prong of the fork. Yeah. Okay, so you're worried that if you call her... There'll be another fork situation.

Are you going to fork off? Don't say fork off. You said fork off first. No, I'm saying in that moment, in the criterion, it changed everything for the better. You know, I don't want to be reminded of Captain J.H. Watson. I'm J.P.W. now. Who's J.P.W.? Oh, John Podcast Watson. It's what the fans call him. I thought they called him Jonk. Fine then, fine then. I'm Jonk, but...

But I am a thousand times happier as junk, okay? And this girl, I was excited about her. It was looking promising. But the big man in the sky, or big woman, decided that we should not be together. And I am all the better for it. I mean, look at me. There's duck poo on your leg. Oh, Archie, this is why we don't jump up. I do get it, John. I, like, I really do. I guess I know why I don't go back and listen to the early episodes either.

See? But... You know. And I know. And Sherlock and even Archie knows. We have to speak to her. We have to. A boy is missing, John. Follocks. And she didn't reply? No. It's fine. She's read it. There's blue ticks, right? There's blue ticks. See? Look.

Doesn't say when she was last online. Think she might be one of those people that hides that. I hate those people. Yeah, me too. It's like, you know, I want to know what time you go to bed. I'm curious. I'm... I think you used too many emojis. Come off it. You did, John. I didn't. That is a normal amount of emojis. There's like eight. Eight? Oh my god, eight of them. It's one message. There is a significance to this woman. I can feel it.

Is that a hunch, or is that based on deductions? Look at this picture. Look at it. Yeah, I've seen it, mate. You're talking to a bloke whose screen time on her pictures could be measured in hours. Gross! I meant in a fawning, admiring way. Look at her. The concern she has. The image is taken on a long lens. Maybe 600mm.

She is unaware of its presence, but seems haunted by some lurking shadow. Yeah, probably this guy stalking her socials. Blood drained somewhat from her face. Eyelids unalert and drooping. Cheeks recently sunken from a deficient diet. Hair unwashed. Let me guess, no makeup, hair in a bun, hoodie? I... yes. Yeah, it could be something else, Sherlock. Oh. Yep.

Right. If... if this helps, I agree with Sherlock. She looks on edge in that picture, definitely. And her socials. Not that I check them often. They're pretty quiet now. You think maybe she knows something about this boy? You think... you think she's involved? We're about to find out. Is it her? It is indeed. Let me go, okay? Sure. All yours. Open the door, John. Open the door. Hey, Mary. Hey, John.

It's nice. Yeah, it's good. Nice size. You know, good for us, for the gang. Yeah. Very central. Oh, very, very, very much so. Centrally, central orientated. So your podcast, you were saying it picked up. That's great. Yeah, yeah. It's huge.

Huge. Huge. Huge? Yeah, yeah. It's got good listenership, awards, and good write-ups. Yeah. That's great. Is it helping a lot of people? Is it helping a lot of people? Troops, veterans? Oh, oh, no, no. I didn't end up doing that particular podcast. Oh, right. Yeah, no. So you were going to be the first, the interview when we were supposed to...

Yeah, of course. Talk about your time. Army nursing. Yeah, but, yeah, no, so you didn't, we didn't meet up, and I ended up bumping into an old friend, actually, in the Criterion, believe it or not, and, yeah, he introduced me to Sherlock. Oh, speak of the devil. Right, and what is it that you do, Sherlock? I'm a consulting detective. No, yeah, he's serious, that's what he does.

No way. Way. That's great. And right, so yeah, true crime podcast. Okay, now your message makes sense, sure. So you guys go hunt down bad guys. We give it a go. Yeah, don't we, Maz? Mazster. Wait, is that me? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I go most of the time, but I'm usually also in the office or with other clients. Really cool. Yeah.

How's the hospital? How's the work going? Yeah, same old. A lot of pressure, a lot of patients, but I know what I signed up for, right? Right, yeah. Yeah. I actually... I know you're not doing the pod anymore, so this doesn't really work, but when I saw your message, I thought I could talk about my new freelance gig, actually. Doing mental health work with veterans who really need support with... How do you know Tonga Bajwa? Sorry? The boy from Hounslow. What are you talking about?

There's a 14-year-old boy missing in Hounslow, in West London. Okay. And... We have reason to believe you may be connected to that. What? No, wait, sorry, we don't think... Yeah, no, not like a negative... We're not accusing you. No, not at all. Okay, cool. What...

Sorry, what are you doing then? We're looking for answers. Answers to... what, exactly? To this. We found this picture of you in a box hidden in Tonga's bedroom. This is... this is mental. What the...

Sorry, I don't get this. Am I supposed to? Mental, yes, it seems that way. But once we organise all the details, clarity will surface, I'm sure. And the details are what, exactly? Like Sherlock said, that picture, this cash, and this. What?

Where did you get that? Nowhere in the box. Do you... Are you familiar with this diamond? Are you working for him? Did he hire you or something? Mary, did who hire us? This is bullshit. I'm sorry. This is... You can't go messing around in people's lives, okay? That's really not acceptable. And just because some guy gives you money, that doesn't mean you have the rights to... We didn't mean to upset you. I'm not crying because I'm upset. I'm crying because I'm... I'm bloody angry.

I don't know him, okay? I don't like him. I'm not gonna... gonna sleep with him or whatever he's trying to get me to do. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mary, just wait, wait. We're not... we're not working for anybody. Yeah, sure. What's this, client detective confidentiality? You have pivoted a long way from the Hippocratic Oath, John. Jesus. Our client is a mother whose son has gone missing, Miss Morstan. Nothing more than that, I assure you. Why does... why did the boy have the diamond?

We don't know. Can you tell us anything about it? They're, um... I mean, I'm just repeating what I've been told by somebody else, but they... It's a Glaconda diamond. That's correct. How do you know that? Like I say, somebody told me. Who? I... It... I don't actually want to get involved in this. I really hope you find the boy, but this... Mary! Mary! He sends me diamonds, okay? Okay.

A guy. He sends me diamonds from India. I don't ask for them. I never bloody ask for them. But he just... He keeps sending them with these notes. These creepy notes. And I can't. I just... Mary, who's sending the diamonds? Sholto. Sholto? Mm-hmm. Do you still have the diamonds? I sold some at first, but they... They just keep coming. And I... I contacted an expert. Diamond expert. And he ended up buying them off me. Who's the expert?

Hello? Hi Jonathan, it's Mary. Mary Morstan. Ah lovely, not more diamonds. I'll have to remortgage. Let me come answer two texts.

He's been pretty helpful. He kind of gets it. The batshit weirdness of the whole thing. Hi. Oh, hello. Hi. Sorry, Jonathan. This is Sherlock, Mariana and John. Right, yes. Hello. Good to meet you all. Hi. Hello, Jonathan Small. Hi. They run a detective agency. Bugger me. Yeah. They have some questions about the...

The Glacondas. Ah, of course. Yes, I think... Tell you what, I think we pop into the local as we've got the little one with us here tonight. Grandson. He's only a year, so I wouldn't want to wake him. Let me help you on the steps there. Very kind. Thank you ever so much.

Got the indoor prosthetic on, so... Comfort over practicality. Yes, quite. At least I do have the right shoes on this time. Last time I went with one loafer and one slipper. Oh, I'm sure the pub has seen worse. Oh, absolutely. And I know you're on a little researching exercise, but my mantra is one leg on the way to the pub and legless on the way back.

That's good. That's my rule. Chop, chop. Off we go. They are good looking diamonds, I have to say. Spectacular stones.

From the Surakula, I suspect. God's heart. Yes, that's right. Excellent homework. Gold star for you. He touched my top. Yeah, shh, it's okay. We gleaned a thing or two in Hatton Garden. Yes, they'll know plenty about that. The true mystery here is the nature of their arrival to you, Mary. Sholto, the Shadow, we call him, don't we, Mary? Yeah. He follows, lurks...

Feels like he does anyway. He made his position very well known at Captain Morstan's funeral. Captain Morstan? My dad. Oh, sorry. Don't worry. Ten years ago now. What happened? Uh, at the funeral, Mary. Uh, yeah, it was, um... Creepy. To say the least, yeah. Were you there, Jonathan? I knew Captain Morstan rather well, and yes, I did show my face. Sad day. Made worse by...

Now, you know who? Sholto. Yeah, so, creepy guy story. At the funeral, well, after the funeral actually, a kind of quiet wake, I guess, a few folks, friends of Dad had come up to me and spoke about him. A number of them from India. He worked out there a long time ago. Yep, very long time. I didn't really see much of him when I was younger. I remember a few bits and pieces from when I was really small, but he would always disappear off someplace else.

And then in my mid-teens when my mum died, he came back to New Zealand to see me through to, yeah, leaving home and stuff. Yeah, so anyway, so I'm at the bar in this hotel where we had this little gathering after we said our goodbyes to dad. And this guy approaches, Indian, old, and out of nowhere he gets right into my face. He's like, like he's trembling and...

I don't know, I guess I knew what to expect. It's a funeral, right? People aren't expected to hold back, but there was something about him. He looked so grateful. He, um, yeah. What did he say? He took my hand and started kissing it. Oh, no. Like, slobbering, like...

Like making out with my hand. Oh no. He was almost panting he was so into it. Oh no. I told you, right? Creepy. Anyway, I eventually shake him off and I make a joke about it, blah blah blah blah blah. And yeah, he says that he's... It was the weirdest thing. He said, it's safe. As long as you need it to be, you must come be safe too. He kept saying. Sorry, it safe.

It's safe. No idea. But I think he meant me. I don't know. He was just really worked up. I reckon he was just saying the wrong things, you know. He wanted to defend you. Oh, completely. From what we gather, correct me if I'm wrong, Mary, we understand that Shoto sees the Morstons of some importance. It may be a rather awkward, perhaps colonial attachment from his ancestors. Sounds awful, all this, doesn't it?

But this could well be a sort of oath that Mr. Sholto felt needed to be fulfilled. Which is ridiculous, right? Because he's, like, he's super rich. Sholto? Yes. Very wealthy indeed. Yes. Before the missionaries re-evaluated the importance, shall we say, of their white European cohorts...

Intermarriage was common. The Morstons, the Chaltos and many others have lineages that carry on even now. Post-1947, so independent and partitioned India, many left of course, but there was always a Morston presence. When Captain Morston came of age, he was very adept at fitting in, I suppose. At being a supportive and constructive citizen of India.

He was a superb charity worker, of course, and his company did plenty of work in regions in the south-east and beyond, but he was never comfortable in a social sense with the occupancy, shall we say. His ancestry, the family estate in India, it didn't sit right with him. And you knew him, you said? Briefly. Jonathan is more of an expert than I am. Thanks. A nice work and all that.

Arthur, uh, Arthur Morstan, that is, helped me enormously with my book. You wrote a book! Wow, that's cool. Oh, I've written many. Sadly. Yes, but he was rather helpful during that. What book did he help with, Mr Small? Jonathan, please. It was a book called Heirloom. Nice. I should give it a read.

Well, if you're struggling to sleep, I'm told it's very good. Well, if you want, I have about 800 signed copies in the garage. So, of course, I'd love to oblige. 800? Blimey. Yes, didn't sell all that well, clearly. As one critique put it, it's a shame Jonathan Small only lost a leg and not both arms. Oh, bloody hell. Ah, yes, critics say.

But the, um, so the book is about the Surakula, actually, and how the people of India still revere the stone. Wait, revere? What do you mean? Oh, it will sound like a lot of hocus-pocus, of course, and it's not a widespread belief in India by any means. It is, uh, well, it's folklore. It's cultural storytelling that we all have. King Arthur and Beowulf and all that.

But the diamond that Tonga had... That is... what? I believe it is a fragment of God's heart, yes. But this is what I don't get. Why is it fragmented? And why is Sholto sending them to me, too? Do we think he killed the boy? I have to say that's what popped up in my mind. A man that unstable, and now seeing that diamond. He does at least live in India, so he's a long way away. A safe distance.

But I fear his ferocious lust may be getting stronger. And somehow Tonga got tied up in all this. Indeed. But why? Why such a valuable little diamond sent all the way across the world? Yes, it is peculiar and very much a bit of a hot potato politically.

What would it bring? Nothing but bloody trouble.

They want it back. Yeah, sure.

And Jaheim, no idea if I'm saying that right. Jaheim in Tennessee, you get a shout-out. And Chris Rubio, listening from Mexico, you get one. Zane with the lovely fan art, you get one. Liam in Michigan, you get... Hello? Hello. What's up? Can't sleep. Well, I'm doing shout-outs, that might help you drift off. Come listen. Take a pew on the bedster. What? Sit on the bed. Oh.

Where was I? Shout out to Liam Michigan. Liam in Michigan, that's not his name. Oh, and his sister Natalia. It is rather perplexing, isn't it? Hmm.

This case? Um, yeah. Why the rising pitch in your intonation? Sorry? You stated something. Yeah. But the intonation of your pitch is used when questioning. Alright, Jesus, yeah. It is rather perplexing, I agree. But the whole, you know, Indiana Jones, mystical India thing, it's just... it's a bit... What? It's just a bit, you know... No, I don't know. Not... well, I mean...

Not racist, but... How exactly is it racist? No, I'm not saying it's racist. It's a cultural stereotype, isn't it? Is it? Yes. Why? Because it just... It is. You know, India is a very big, old country. It's teeming with folk tales and fables and all that stuff, and people just...

Maybe it's been exploited over the years to just... To what? Oh, would you leave me alone? I'm just saying, if diamonds went missing in bloody Cardiff, we wouldn't be going, oh, the ancient mystical gemstones that forged a nation. You know, we'd be going, oh, there's diamonds missing from Cardiff. Maybe we should check the CCTV in the shopping centre, you know? You seemed fairly beguiled in the pub when Jonathan was speaking.

Yes, that's because I was two pints in on an empty stomach and he's a good storyteller. And had his leg chopped off by diamond thieves, for goodness sake. Then why is there a missing boy and why did he possess an exceptionally rare diamond? I don't know. And why did the boy have a picture of the descendant of Captain Arthur Morstan, who lived and worked in the homeland of that very diamond? I don't know. And why did the Sholto individual harass Mary upon her father's death at the funeral and express a wish to steal her away to India? I don't know, Sherlock. Okay? Okay.

Would you like to know? I mean, well, yeah, obviously. Then follow me. I'm in my pyjamas. That's alright. No one will see us. Chop, chop. Shut up. On you get. What is this? A bike. I'm not riding a bike in the middle of the night in my pyjamas. No, you're not riding a bike. I am. What? Here. Sit your bottom in the front basket. No. Why not? Because I'm not a Jack Russell.

I guess, alright.

Can you go a little lower down? I'm finding it rather difficult to see. Sherlock, swerving all over the road. Yes, well, I can't see. Yeah, that's because you put me in a basket on the front of a bloody bike. Yes, I regret that now. But hey-ho, nearly there. Nearly where? Your girlfriend, Mary. Shut up. She told us her father died ten years ago. Captain Arthur Morstan. It was actually ten years and two months, to be precise.

Like many Navy veterans, he still had access to the storage facilities of the British forces. When enrolled in such work, you find yourself transported two or three times a year to many different locations around the globe. These men and women have families, pets and, of course, possessions. They rarely buy homes. They often rent. So, what do they need to be supplied with?

Storage? Storage. One perk of the job is that the Navy, in this instance, will pay for a storage unit for your things. After, however, ten years has passed without a claim or a salary or pension, the storage unit is no longer held by the Navy. So why didn't Mary claim it? She did, briefly, before having it sold off.

But on the storage unit auction site, she was required to provide an inventory of its contents. Okay. Ah, heading left down here. Off we go. Jesus, speed bump. Why didn't you go around it? No time. No time to go around a speed bump. Yeah, sure. Hush now. Here we go. Are we stopping? Yes, we are. Now shush. Why shush?

The storage unit was bought by this company here. Storage for you. Right. We're going to go and take a look inside. Sorry, what? They made the purchase two months ago. It was delivered to them three weeks ago. They're forecaught there, you see. Yeah, and? They haven't processed those units. Meaning, it's still intact from when it was purchased. How do you know this? I came by earlier to check. Oh, you're ridiculous. No, I'm not. Did anyone see you?

Yes. Hence why I'm returning at night. Right. There's a blind spot at that back left corner of the warehouse, you see. Blind spot for what? Cameras? Correct. Well, we're obviously not doing it then. Why not? Because we're going to get caught robbing a place on cameras. I don't intend to come away with anything. Do you? Then what the f... What are we doing? Snooping. Great. Great. I was just snooping, Your Honour. I swear. Come along.

God. This way. Yes, I know. Once we reach the wall of the warehouse, we shimmy along it until we reach the storage boxes. We're looking for the emblem of the Royal Navy. Yes, whatever. Fine.

And shimmy time. Oh, God's sake. Easy there, Watson. See how the security lights aren't trained at our wall here? Yes, I see that. Thank you. A little further. Ow! Got my pyjamas on the wall. Oh, great. Great. Now there's a rib in my arse that's hanging out. Let me see. Look.

Oh dear. God's sake, it's both cheeks. It would appear we have a full moon tonight. That is an average joke at best and you can wipe that smile off your face. Here. Right. Now we sprint from this wall to the storage boxes. Yes, yes, alright. On three. One, two, three!

Stay with me, Watson. The security light. There's a light on. Don't worry. We're nearly there. Oh, God. I really wish my arse wasn't hanging out. Here. Yeah, look. It's here. Royal Navy. Captain A. Morse. Wonderful, Watson. Let's take a look inside. What are you doing? The top latch here and the bottom latch. Both unlocked. Why? Why?

Somebody didn't want to pay for a new lock when this was opened up for the auction. Why not? Well, they're a storage unit company. So? They don't care what's inside. They just want to buy more cheap second-hand storage units for their own inventory. Yeah, that makes sense. Here we go. Come. Okay. Pretty bare in here. Um...

We are in the storage unit of the late Captain Morstan. There are some spare tyres in the corner, along with some other car-related stuff, engine oils. Looks like there's a parcel shelf there too, some tools, saw, hammer, spanners. There's some old picture frames. I'm guessing Mary took the pictures from them. Lots of old VHS tapes, some...

Some home video type ones, then some... Ooh, Rain of Fire. Teen Wolf. Hey, Anaconda. Remember that, Jennifer Lopez? It's not bad in here, actually, is it? Sherlock. I already know what's in here. Do you? Yes. I read the inventory. Well, I'm just explaining to the listener. What are you looking for, then? Aha. This. A lockbox. Wait, look. What? Underneath.

The scratch again. Like on Tonga's box. What are you doing? Trying his birthday. Nope. Ah. Aha. I've got it. Have you? I do indeed. How on earth have you managed to decipher a code from a man that's been deceased for over a decade? Pass me that hacksaw, will you? Oh. Yes. Very worn down. Rust and degradation. Here we go. Come on. Come on. Can I hear people outside? Nearly there. Oh my god, I can. Hurry up, Sherlock.

It's coming along, Doctor. Don't worry. My arse is sticking out of my pyjama trousers. How can I not worry? There we go. What? What is it? What's inside? A note. Right, OK. What does it say? The sign of four. Don't move! Ah, Jesus. Please, we're investigators. Do not move, mate. Do not move. I'm calling the police. This is private property. OK, fine, fine. Yes, hello, I'm calling from storage for you. We've got two insurers here. The pyjamas, they just split at the back. It's not a weird sex thing. And I...

I think it might be a weird sex thing. Ah! The Sign of Four, Volume 1 is available now, ad-free, on the Patreon. Sign up now. The Sign of Four, Volume 1

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