The Sign of Four - Part Ten
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Previously on Sherlock & Co. Mohinder's car. In the tread of the tyres I found this piece of 10mm polar white shingle. So this gravel is from a place he went in his car? This is a place he would visit frequently. I've seen it before, in fact. We've been to a house very recently with this exact stone shingle. When I finished reading a, quite frankly,

deranged book that documents the propriety rights of all the valuable stones of India. But what triggered a moment of recognition was when I realised I was honoured with a signed copy. Lucky me.

"Airlumes" by Jonathan Small. The S, there. Around one in a hundred people, I believe, write an S from bottom to top. I had seen it somewhere else. On this, the note that killed Mary's poor old father. Look now, I... Mariana, you opened your case at long last. Yes, because you locked it. Could you pass me what I placed inside? Dr. Watson, could you tell me... and the table?

what this is. Oh my god. Okay, yes, that is a, um, that's a fibula. A shinbone. And now Mr. Jonathan Small has stood up, I can show another curiosity. Archie, over here. This way, mate. The corduroy is made up of vertical ridges, or whales, which create little gaps that trap a lot of dust and fur and...

Hair. Hair, in this instance, of a half-Spaniel, half-lurcher. Wait a second now. Named Toby. You don't. It's ours. It's ours. You fuck. You're being reckless. I'm entering the property. Get back to Gregson now. No. Toby. Hey, Toby. Hey, boy. Get the boy. Go. Oh, God. Ah.

Tonga! Watson! Oh bloody hell! Get back, Mohinda! No! He's safe! He is. He's safe now. Crazy view, isn't it? For a hospital. I mean, you're right on the Thames, you can see the Houses of Parliament. Crazy. You can see Mary and Mariana heading off to the Spanish ship. It's such a crazy view. Sorry, why is this crazy? It's just, you know...

Half tempted to chuck myself down the stairs and get a room with a view here. It's amazing. I think I'd get more sense talking to the half-conscious boy. Look at all his get-well-soon cards, by the way. Flowers here and chocolates. Oh, look at this. God, one from Chelsea Football Club. Bore off.

Seems very generous. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I bet they tweeted that they were doing that. Oh, look at us, we sent him a card. Oh, blimey, and a season ticket here, look. Virtue signalling that, mate. That's what that is. Did you get him anything? No, but... We saved his life. You don't think we're expected to get him a card as well? You're shrugging. Why are you shrugging? No, I'm not going to do it. I think, you know...

We've given him the best gift. Life. What's better than that? What can possibly top that? There's a gift shop in the lobby. Back in a bit. OK, so I got this card which says, You're one tough cookie. And it's a picture of a cookie with a plaster on his head. Thoughts? It's not really his head, is it?

The entire cookie is just a face. You know what I mean. Anyway, on the inside I've put get well soon, blah blah blah, then lots of love from John, Sherlock, Mariana and Archie. Then a couple of kisses, which, yes, is embarrassing for a teenage boy, but does make us look nice and sweet to the parents. Happy? I really don't care. Great, thanks. Just going to move these cards out of the way and put ours at the front. Let's put that Chelsea one back there and these can get lost as well. There we go.

Any news? On? On us being able to visit him, have a chat and work out what Aurora means. Not yet. Right.

Right. Do the parents and the medical staff realise that a priceless diamond is at stake? Mm-hmm. A priceless diamond that is still being hunted by the final member of a ruthless gang who have committed assassinations and atrocities across India and the UK? I believe we have imparted all this information, yes. Great, great. So if they beat us to the diamond, can I blame the NHS or...? We're needed elsewhere for now, anyway.

What? We are? Message from Athelny. We've been invited to speak with Jonathan Small at Scotland Yard. Wow. Well, er, let's do it. Indeed. Stop rearranging the cards. Just putting ours at the front. Watson! Ah, yep, yep, coming. Here he comes. Hello again. Hi, Jonathan. Mr Jonathan Small. As you know, my name is Agent Athelny Jones. I work for Interpol, the International Criminal Police Organisation.

Present with me is Dr. John Watson and Sherlock Holtz. We have been allocated this appointment with yourself due to the nature of our co-investigation with Scotland Yard. Our presence does not constitute any legal authority. You have agreed to the chat out of goodwill, which we appreciate. I am obviously obligated to inform you this is being recorded. Does that all sound hunky-dory? Oh, hunky-dory indeed.

Why did you do it? Okay, into the deep end. Goodness me. Splash. Read his book. It's all in there. I'm not reading his bloody book. I can't even read books I actually want to read. What makes you say that? Well, just, like, concentration spans. I'm talking to him. Oh. You say it's in my book.

How so? I never claimed to desire any diamonds, I merely charted their lineage. Yes. And it's in that obsessive charting that you reveal an unhealthy attachment to the very nature of ownership. I think we can get bogged down in semantics, but the author has a duty to make the reader care. Can we get to the fucking point, please? Do you have the Sula Coola? I do not. Mr Small? I do not!

He's telling the truth. Well, I would like to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so bloody help me God. It's a right of war. Do you understand? The conquered have a responsibility, a duty to be punished for defeat. That diamond, that... that... it... it is a right of war. The British Empire doesn't have any rights in 2024 to go take in... It was a company, wasn't it?

A corporation won that war. Free enterprise won that war. Not a country. But look who took the spoils. It is a right of war. Countries, borders, waterways, trade routes, ports, artillery, forts, castles, a multitude of other belongings to a warring party. They are subject to the contract of the conflict. You lose, you hand it over.

The Surakula is no different. It is not a cultural artifact. It is not some wishy-washy signifier of a people or a society. It is a commodity. A lot of people would disagree. Yes, well, a lot of people are poor. And they will remain so, so long as they blue pill themselves with intangible constructs of meaning and culture.

Follow the distribution of assets of the East India Company. Follow the chain of ownership from 1600 to 1874. They didn't just vanish into dust. Where are her diamonds? Mary Morstan. What does it matter? She sold them, I bought them. A deal's a deal. Is that how you met her? By purchasing the diamonds? Or did you know her before? What do you think, Mr. Holmes? I think a lot of things, Mr. Small. So I've noticed.

Trouble is, you lack nuance. I assure you, I don't. Oh, but you do. Don't you see it yet? Arthur Morstan is just like me. You think he's some noble defender of sacred relics. Do please piss off, honestly. He kept the Siricula from you. She wanted it for himself.

You want to know how I lost my leg? He took the stone. He betrayed me. And his expedition team. Khan, Singh, Akbar. He left all of us behind. He and Sholto watched that door seal shut on me. Watched it crush and splinter my leg into pieces. Watched me beg for my life and they did nothing. Well, let me tell you something.

You can praise him all you want and you can try and denigrate me and my friends, but the fact of the matter is, who poured whiskey down my throat to numb the pain? Sing did. Who severed my leg to save my life? Ackvar did. And who sealed the wound as my blood pooled into the hollows of that temple? Khan did. Where was Sholto? Where was Morstum? I'm glad they're dead.

I-I-I'm downright feverish with fucking glee that Sholto gargled his last breath in agony as acid tore open his throat. I have been thrilled since Arthur Morstan had his lungs eaten up by my anthrax ten years ago, coughing his way to a sad, lonely, pitiful death. Sorry, not sorry. Not much nuance there. Quite the use of histrionics in your book.

On claims to the East India Company and its assets, you did rather bore on about that point for some time. Well, thank you very much. Always nice to get a little critical feedback. Pleasure. I made the mistake of sharing that information with Morstan and his family's claim, didn't I? It was absorbed by the Crown. Absorbed by the Crown? Well, how very convenient for the Crown. They got their gemstone, I see.

Where's mine? What do the smalls get?

Heck, what do the bastard Morstons get when that company gets picked apart by the vultures of state power? Land, I would expect. Slaves, power, influence. Where is it now, then? Look, Jonathan... I wouldn't try and reason with him, Watson. I realise he hurt you, but Arthur Morston and Sholto, they didn't sell it in exchange for power, did they? They tried to return it to Pondicherry. They realised their mistake. They didn't just steal it away. Oh, but they did steal it away.

The company assigned that jewel to a shareholder by the name of S'more. It is mine. It is mine! I don't care what a nation decides to absorb. Property means something. Ownership means something. Does it not? Everything was stolen away. And the sign of four don't forget. Heirlooms come in all forms, you know. Silver. Gold. Blood.

Words, anger, revenge. We don't forget, Dr. Watson. Well, that's good. It'll give you something to think about as you rot away in prison, Jonathan. Maybe you could write another one of your cracking books. We will find the meaning of Aurora, and Abdullah Khan will secure the Surakula for the sign of four. A brotherhood that was forged in blood and grief, in the frenzy of betrayal. We will never forget.

Khan will secure it. There is no doubt in my mind. Highly unlikely, but he's more than welcome to give it a shot. Oh, he will! And then watch! Watch nations and people bargain for our release just to get access to God's heart. Watch Jonathan Small walk free and Dost Akbar and Mahinda sing. Just watch and see how the feeble minds melt away in pathetic worship.

at the artifact of their culture. A rather challenging request, seeing as Mohinder Singh was burnt alive under the weight of your Versailles chandelier. What? Once in the Hall of Mirrors, that thing, Watson. Did you know that? Must have cost a few bob. Yes, I thought the same. Shut up! Ever so fitting that a sparkly souvenir from the Palace of Versailles would crush a man that casually disregarded the true value of humanity in pursuit of a shiny commodity.

Eh, Jonathan? Very fitting. Would that be irony, Watson? It would indeed, mate. Lovely. I did detect a hint. Just watch, Sherlock. Just watch. Mr. Small, we need to know what Aurora is. I know you spoke about the potential of a time frame. The northern lights seen in India. Oh, come on. What? He doesn't know any of that nonsense. He was waiting for us to crack it and then beat us to the diamond. Are we sure about that? Oh, we're sure. Psst, Jonathan. Jonathan.

I know you think that smile on your face exudes power or control, but it doesn't. It reeks of weakness and defeat. Just a little critical feedback. Abdullah Khan will take the stone. You don't know what you're up against. Three down, one to go, Mr. Small. You are forgetting, of course, that we have Tonga, and only he knows the meaning of Aurora. So give Mr. Khan my best regards.

But I do rather feel we have a head start, don't you? You're talking to a man that cut his own leg off with a lot of condescension, Sherlock. Don't underestimate me. Don't underestimate the sign of war. Just a little critical feedback.

Well, got to be honest, he's bloody potty, isn't he? Yeah, he's lost it. As many do when they fixate on their darker motivations. Yeah, well, he can be as dark as he wants. He ain't going nowhere. He'll see out his life behind bars, which, my lovely new pals, means job done. Athelney, thank you so much for everything. Hey, no, thank you too. Best dinner party I've ever been to. Bloody hell. Yeah, cheers, mate.

Oh, and you, Sherlock. Nice one. What of the Surakula? Scotland Yard giving a nod for full takeover, so I just get to watch from the sidelines now, boy. We'll speak to Tonga. We'll find the meaning of Aurora. You do that. Hey, and take a bloody selfie or something next to that thing for me, please. Will do. Bye, mate. Bye. Hey. Hiya, Tom. What's going on? Actually, I believe the line is, hello, hello, hello, what's going on here, then? What, are you okay? You're...

Aren't you supposed to be with Tonga? We're going to see him now. What are you talking about? At the hospital. Do you need to give us permission or something stupid like that? I already have. Tom, what's wrong? I had a call from the hospital that you were already there. No. Go on now. Go on. No, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

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Small tricked us. He knew we wouldn't be able to resist hearing his account. And he did it. While the boy was still vulnerable. We're fools, Watson. Just calm down, yeah? We don't know yet. Yes, hello. Tonga Bajwa. We're here to see Tonga Bajwa. Holmes and Watson.

The visiting hours have concluded, I'm afraid. You should be afraid. And I should be able to see that boy right now. Listen, please, we're part of an investigation. Remember, we came here last night with Inspector Gregson. We brought the boy in. If we could just... I'm going to have to speak to the family. Yes, yes, OK, good. Where are they? They're bringing him some things from home. OK, cool. We don't have time for this. Sherlock, they're not going to let us see him until they speak to his parents. Well, can they hurry up and answer the bloody phone? Sherlock, mate, for God's sake, they're cards and flowers for Tonga. Put them back.

Tonga! Sherlock! Tonga! If you could unlock the door! Get away from his door now! I am so sorry. Sherlock, get a grip, mate. We can't lose this, Watson. Not now. May I remind you Tonga is what mattered here. This is what we got in it for. Not some diamond. He's safe. He's just told them what Aurora means, okay? I know. I know. No answer, but I can try again. I'm just going to ask that you calm down. I'm very sorry.

If you could clean that up. Absolutely. Of course. Forgive me. Next time we're angry, we take it out on something else, okay? Not cards and flowers from the people he loves. Stop. Oh, yeah, and wealthy London football clubs, of course, then. Stop, stop. What is it? It was the very first deduction I made. I...

I solved the bloody thing in a few seconds. What are you talking about? We've been working this case for ages. The moment I entered his room, Watson, I saw it then. And it... I... It must be here somewhere. She would have sent something. Not making things any clearer here, mate. I've got his parents on the phone now. Oh, I don't need that anymore, thank you. What are you talking about? Love, Watson. I'm talking about love. Where is it? Where is it? Ah. Hey, don't open his card. What?

And there it is. A card from the girlfriend. Sherlock, where are you going? My Tonga, I was so scared. Cannot wait to see you again. I'll never let you go. All the love in the world. Aurora. Oh my God, he gave her the diamond. He gave her the bloody diamond!

In year nine, you have a student named Aurora. She must remain at the school. I am contacting the local police, but if anybody attempts to... She's not here. What? No. It's a field trip day. Oh, God, help me. Where? Where is the bloody field trip? The Andalusian. They're visiting the Andalusian. Do I need to let the staff...

The Andaluthia. A replica Spanish galleon from the 16th century. It's here in London. I know what it bloody is. You do? Yes, but where? Where is it? St Catherine's Dock. OK. Where's that? Tower Bridge. OK, I'll call... No, wait, Sherlock, stop. Excuse me. Sherlock! Out of the way! Don't do what I think you're going to do. What do you think I'm going to do?

You are not pirates, Sherlock. I'm not going to sail down the Thames to commandeer a Spanish galleon. Excuse me, sir. Here, life jacket. You'll need that. Need something with a bit of oomph. Chop, chop, Watson. Oh, God.

This has to be illegal. Oh, absolutely. There's a speed limit of 12 knots from Wandsworth Bridge all the way to London City Airport. OK, how fast are we going? Um, 40 knots. Oh, wait, 42 knots. I hate you. Wave at the tourists, Watson. Hello. Stop waving and keep your eyes on the river. Glad. Mariana, hi. Yeah, it's me. Are you

Yeah, I'm good, thanks. What are you doing? I'm on a speedboat going down the Thames. It's technically not a speedboat. Sorry, what? Where are you? Are you at the Andalusia yet? I can't hear you very well, but I'm with Mary.

We're gonna check out the... Don't say Andalusia! Yeah. Keep Mary away from there. What? Why? Because Abdullah Khan is there. He's trying to take the Surakula. From who? From Aurora, who's Tonga's girlfriend all this time. Is she gonna be okay? You don't know, but as you can hear, we're on our way. Oh, God. What? There's a chance Mary heard you. Mary, no, wait, wait.

Oh, crap. Stop her, Mariana. Mariana! Your prevention phone call didn't go as well as you'd hoped, then? No, it bloody didn't. In fact, it had the opposite effect on... Yes, I know. This is what happens when those tourist attractions do limited exhibitions. Everyone flops to it. Once we go under Blackfriars Bridge, we should be able to see Tower Bridge. Good work, mate. Thank you. Up here. Come on.

There isn't time for that. Excuse me, out of the way. There, Watson. On your left. Oh, for goodness sake, look at the size of that cube. Mary! Mary! Okay, well, that is a lot of women called Mary. Mary Morstan! Aurora! I can't see her. Never mind her. The school. You're looking for the school field trip. Mary! Mary!

This way! Just wait a second. We cannot afford to. We must board the ship. Oh, well, we really are going to do the whole time. Excuse me. Coming through. What are you doing? The entrance is over there. Yes, but time is of the essence, Watson. Here. That's rope. It's one of the mooring lines to the stern. And... It's attached to the ship. All we have to do is scale the rope and we're on to the deck.

Easy peasy. Off we go. Oh, wait. Okay, right. That's deep, dark water there. Thames as well, so probably full of oil and piss. This is called the S-Rope technique. You allow the rope to pass around your right leg, and then you wrap around the outside of your right foot and under the arch. Pinch the rope together between your feet.

And now you see, you can stand on the rope with minimal hand grip. Ingenious. Get a bloody move on. I'm just offering a comfortable technique. Well, I'm not looking to be comfortable. I'm looking to be aboard that ship. Go, go, go. We go. People are staring.

Well, we are climbing the mooring of a docked 17th century Spanish galleon replica. Yeah, I noticed that, Sherlock. Thank you, mate. OK, I can climb onto the stern here. You on? I'm on. Here, give me your hand. On we come. Ah, there we go. I see the school. Where? Right at the front. It's called the bow. Shush. Let's go. Aurora!

Aurora, Aurora, just wait there. Everybody, stay exactly where they are, please. The police are on their way, I hope, but it is of the utmost importance that we all remain where we are. Aurora, who's Aurora? You're not in trouble. I just need to know who Aurora is. She's not here. No, that's... she has to be. She could be downstairs. We were taking pictures in the gun deck. Gun deck? Go, down the steps.

It'll be this way. Aurora! Stop. Watson. What? Oh. There. You were very close, gentlemen. Very close. But not close enough. Shh. Now, Aurora. It's okay. Everything is alright. Yes, everything is alright. Because now I have this. The Surakula. And if everyone behaves themselves, we can all get what we want out of this. Let go of the girl. Ah.

You read my mind. Very good. Yes, I have a knack for that. I'm going to hand over the girl, and you will let me walk away with the stone. Do we think that is fair? It may be fair, but it's far from ideal. Sherlock! Or maybe if we don't see eye to eye, things will get complicated.

Maybe she will get hurt. No, no, no, no one is going to get hurt. Oh, but they might. You see, pain and suffering has been a bit one-sided. And I think maybe, just maybe, a little blood needs to be spilled. A little squealing from the other side for once. I don't doubt that you've suffered. I don't doubt that, but you said it yourself.

You know, we all have a favourite outcome here. We want Aurora, you want the Surakula. Okay? You want to come with us, right? Aurora, to see Tonga, to see your family. Yeah. See? It's a win-win. Hey, Abdullah. Not quite. Those tourists up there, they have gone ever so quiet, don't you think? Can't really tell. Either they left or perhaps they were moved out. Would that be because the police have arrived? Look, Abdullah, please, just listen. No.

So in case it wasn't clear, this is the hostage, I'm the hostage taker, I'm the person that gets listened to. See? Don't do that! It's just a drop of blood. Put the knife- Keep talking and I'll spill a bucket of it. Right out of her neck. Is that clear? Alright, alright. If we're going to get what we want, we're all going to work together. Do we understand that, gentlemen? We do. Yeah. Indeed.

You're going to wait, stood in that exact spot, on your best behaviour. Right? Right. You. You will call your police friends and you will put Jonathan on the line. Of course. Do it. Now.

Your girlfriend is talking to you. I don't have a girlfriend. Listen, you fool. Do we have a problem? They're taking their time to answer the call, Mr. Kahn. Apologies. Can you hear it? Kahn? Captain? She's just said captain. Ah, it's my reception down here. It must be.

Mr. Khan, may I make a suggestion? You may not. Oh, I really don't care for any fun and games. I'm a very pragmatic person to a fault. Isn't that right, Watson? Um, yeah. And like you, I generally prefer it when the police aren't involved. You'll see down there, that doorway. That's the officer's quarters. The room farthest back will be the captain's cabin. There will be a window near a mooring line.

It's where my colleague and I climbed aboard. At the end of the mooring line, there will be our boat, which you are welcome to take. When you do so, the girl, Watson and I will emerge on the deck of the ship to the police and a grateful watching audience to ensure all eyes are on us, securing your escape. That door, down there? Correct. I can lead the way if you wish. Please do.

Hey. Hmm? What is that? A bomb? A what? Oh, no, it's a microphone. For a podcast. Give it to her. Give it to her? To the girl. Why? Because if it's an explosive, then I don't have a problem, do I? She might. It's just a microphone. Give her the device. Okay, okay. Um, this, this, fine. This is fine. Um, there you go, Aurora. Aurora.

I'd hold it myself, but hands are full. I noticed. To the captain's cabin. Now. Not you. What? You stay here. Sorry, why? I don't want to be outnumbered. Fair enough, I suppose. We'll be one moment, Watson. Yeah, okay. Okay. And here we have the office's quarters. Rather cosy, as you can see. If we head through this way, captain's cabin is just this door here.

After you, Mr Khan. No, I'd rather you go first. Right, yes, no problem. Ah, yes. Much nicer. Come through, as you can see. Bigger. Much bigger. Fits all five of us. Five? Let go of the knife, Abdullah! Get down, Sherlock! Let go of the bloody knife!

Aurora, get back. Get away. Get away from me. Let go. Mary. Oh, no. No. Hold him still. I can't. I can't. Shit. Aurora, run. Run, sweetie. Go. Go. Go.

Whoa, whoa. I'm Tom Gregson. You okay? You Aurora, yeah? Are you Aurora, love? Yes or no? I am. Aurora! Aurora, where is he? Where's Sherlock? He's... They're fighting in the cabin. The two women were there and they... He's got the knife. John, wait! Get off her! John! Drop the fucking knife! You bastard! Drop it!

That's it. I told you this was a microphone, not a weapon. But you bloody made it one, buddy. All right. It's over, okay? It's over, Abdullah. Just stop. You, don't move. Do not move. Up you get, John. Getting up? Yeah, I'm getting up. Hands on your head. Is everyone okay? Hands on your head right now. You are thieves. You are...

I told you not to move, mate. No one touch him until you get the clear from our team. I wasn't planning on it. Sherlock, you OK? I am. She's not. What? Hey, John. Mary. Mary, where are you hurt? Show me. I don't know. I don't know. It feels... I can't feel it. Take my hand. Where is it? OK, where? OK, OK, there it is. Right.

Ambulance on the way, right? Tom? On its way. And I'm just... I'm applying a tiny bit of pressure, OK? I know, I know, I know. It's OK, it's OK. Let's get those legs a bit higher, please, Mariana. I got you, Mary. There you go. Thanks, Mariana. And I'm sorry, I've got to do just a bit more pressure there. It's just... I know, I know. Yeah, oh! Just in a very awkward spot. I think it's gone into your stomach, which... Hey, that's OK. Oh, that's OK, is it? Yeah. Yeah, that's actually not a disaster. Oh.

What would be a disaster? Uh, heart? Oh, yeah. Yeah, heart would suck. Oh, absolutely. Face is obviously crap, too. Oh, yeah, no thanks. Imagine, like, in the eye. Yeah, you'd have to wear an eye patch. And live out my days on my Spanish galleon. There you go. There you go. You need to work on your bedside manner. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. You are, but your eyes give away a lot. Do they not? You're scared.

I am scared, yes. Stupid eyes. Oh, you should get an eye patch. We could be eye patch twins. Yeah, we could be eye patch twins. Did you see it? See what? The circular. I did. What's it like? It's... yeah, it's good. It's huge. Huge. Here. There it is. Yes, your old friend. Apparently so. My old shiny friend.

Yeah, it's big. And we have it, thanks to you. Tamey fit. Hey, hey, hey, stay with me. Just stay awake for a little bit longer. I feel quite sick. Yeah, you will. You've got a hole in your stomach. Dead? Sorry? I got it back. You got it back. You did it. I did.

If you're a Patreon member, you will receive Volume 1 of this adventure right now. That's the first half, five parts, and you'll get the second volume a month later. In between episodes, there'll be plenty of additional material for you members, including all new casebook episodes and mailbags and interviews and all the...

Yeah, you know the drill. I won't be doing intros for every part. That'll get tiring for all of us. So I will see you at the end. But right now, it's time for the beginning. Welcome to the sign of four. Um... I feel like I'm being disingenuous with all that, and that's not cool. So I promised myself I'd always be honest with you lot. So, yeah, um...

Mary died. And, yeah, it's not how you'd think either. She was in hospital for a week. She was awake at point and talking and laughing. I've even got a few scenes in this edit where she's even in the thing and it just doesn't feel right now. So I think they're going to be on the cutting room floor, as they say. I'm really sorry. I didn't really think the show was going...

Yet people always email and say that we cheer them up and that we take their mind off the bad stuff. And now this has happened. This is... I'm really, really sorry. Um, yeah, she was improving. Um, then there were some complications. Ah, Mary was stabbed in the stomach. She was recovering from that. What wasn't obvious at first, though, was that her abdominal aorta had got a little nick. It's the main blood vessel that powers all of that.

You know, all the big stuff in there, the big guns. Yeah, she went into an ICU with some internal bleeding and just started to shut down, I guess. It's funny, I carry my mic around for everything to catch. Every moment, every little, I don't know, the second that things went south, I just switched it off. I just, I knew, mate, mate, it was mate.

Sorry, not had much sleep here, as you can imagine. I don't know what to do with this bloody adventure now. You know, I know there's a lot of people that listen that want the laughter and the lightness, and I don't... Yeah, I don't have it. I don't have it. This all happened a while ago, so it'll be November or December for you guys. It's still October here. Yeah. Maybe I'll... Oh, what will I do? Maybe I'll put in one of the hospital scenes again, you know.

You can hear Mary yourselves and say goodbye. And, yeah, you deserve that. So this is that. You are engaged? What? Yeah, I'm engaged. Oh, my. Wow. Oh, my. Wow. Oh, Stanford. Congratulations. Congratulations. And, of course, congrats to Nadia.

Oh man, can you both sing at your own wedding? I wouldn't have it any other way. How do you tell it wasn't corny? It wasn't bloody corny. Who says corny? What's corny about me? I mean... Oh, what? Come on, I got you that fancy pillow and changed your drip this morning. You tried. They nearly threw you in the teams. Yeah, well, it's been a few years, hasn't it?

Oh, here he is. John, did you know Stanford is engaged? Did I know? Have you seen the ring she's got? No. Here, I've got a picture. Look. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

Hold on. Don't even get me started, Mariana. Is that Tongas Diamond? Tongas Diamond that started this whole stupid thing? Yep. Oh, you idiots. Good observation, Mariana. Thank you. I learned from the best, apparently. No, look, I was going to propose, right? I'm sorry.

And I told John, and he said he knew of a diamond going spare. Yes, then he tried to take a cut. Oh, right, now, rewind. Hold on. I did not try and take a cut. You wanted to charge him £1,000. That is not what I said. You are so bloody tight, you. Oi, I just gave you a free diamond. I said, all I said was to contribute towards our expenses because of that stupid diamond. Hmm, yeah, I'm not sure about that. Oh, you're not so sure. How convenient for you. Ah.

Okay, you lot, I've got a dressing change coming up, so unless you want to see blood and goop and stitches... Ah, no, not for me. Sounds like a work day. I'm going to go find some new clients before we go bankrupt. Not without my approval. Approval of what? Well, I'm going to go edit Britain's favourite true crime podcast. Oh, you have a podcast? You never mentioned it. Did I not? No.

Well, I will, er, I'll tell you about it sometime. Please do. Goodbye, Miss Morstan. Goodbye, Dr Watson. And Mary, the princess of Pondicherry, took the diamond back home into its temple where it would shine and sparkle forever and ever. I did it! You did it. Night-night, my Mary. Night, Dad.

so