Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
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Travel is all about choosing your own adventure. With your Chase Sapphire Reserve Card, sometimes that means a ski trip at a luxury lodge in the Swiss Alps.
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What did you see? The creeping...
That is terrifying. There's a man moving like a zombie. I... Who alerted you to our vehicle? Concerned relatives of Professor Presbury. That's correct. Can I help? Ah, Tom. Edith. Goodness, look at you, Orson. Sherman! That's not Professor Orson Presbury.
As we know from McClintock's revolutionary work on these... What the hell? The AI revolution. Although, does struggle a little with the word revolutionary. Professor Presbury! Hello? Hello? Can we break in now? Right. We'll start at the bottom. This is the bottom. No, it isn't. Ah, basement. Lovely. MUSIC
Did I die? Did the microphone break underwater? Did we solve the case of the creeping man? Let's go back to Professor Presbury's house and find out. Yes, I'm aware of the flaw in the nature of my show where I'm talking to you now, clearly alive with a working mic. But just listen to it, all right? Don't be one of those people. Shh, listen. Part three, creeping man. Actually got a bit of a whiff. I'm guessing the fresh water aspect needs a bit of a clean because they don't use chloro...
Chlorine in... Sherlock? Is that you? Sherlock? Hello? GET OUT! Come on now. There we go. There we go, John. Oh, thank you, mate. Thank you. I...
I saw the creeping man. I saw him. Sit up. I saw him, Sherlock. He told me to get out and then I fell into... It's okay. Look. What? Come, stand up. I'm very sorry. Very sorry. Professor Presbury. Come on then, off we go. This is your bedroom up here? Around the 12th. 12th of July, I suspect.
That's when Elizabeth was born. Lovely Elizabeth. Have you met Elizabeth? Elizabeth? Edith? Your daughter Edith? Who's Edith? Your daughter. You're not my daughter. No, I'm not. Edith is your daughter. Are you Tom? No, I'm John. It's... Tom, we must look into why the bank have cut me off, mustn't we? We...
Yeah. Silliest thing, isn't it? Yeah, very silly. At least I've got you, Tom. You watch my money. Guardian it. Like a big bloodhound. You do the same for my daughter. Guardian. Protector. Ah, here we go. Here's your bedroom. Right, wow. Needs a little clean-up.
Oh, hello. Who are you? It's me. It's Tom, your son-in-law. Come here, dear boy. Oh, um, all right. Hey, it's okay, Orson. It's okay. I've let you down. You haven't let anybody down. I can do a talk.
We can do a new talk, a whole production on my latest research, Tom. My serum. It's based on baboon blood. Yeah, definitely. And we'll talk about that in the morning. Yes, it is. What are these marks on your arm, Orson? Sorry? You've had injections. Have I? Yeah, look. You see? Who are you? I'm Tom. Of course. Family.
Where's Edith? She's downstairs. Is she angry with me? Does she need more money? No one is angry with you, Orson. It's the bank. They won't give me any more. I know. I know. All right. I won't be long. Going to just check on Edith. Yes. Yes. Of course. God. Not good. Not good at all.
I hope I can find that bleep sound effect easy enough for my editor. I think it's in the downloads folder. Why is that? Because Tom and Edith are complete c***.
God, this sort of thing... Bothers you. Yeah, and then some. This sort of thing being... A renowned public intellectual develops dementia and his family, instead of caring for him, accesses money, commercialises his work and replicate him in the form of AI and a willing body double, all to exploit his brand and reap the financial windfall for themselves? Yes, that sort of thing. Can't people even be ill now? Can't they peacefully enter the final chapter of their lives and be cared for, loved, missed for who they are, not what they have?
Can't people just die in peace? Do we have to commercialise everything? Do we have to sell and package and flog and manufacture every aspect of someone's life into some sort of product? Ooh, yay, new patron. Like I say, not good. That's disgusting. That man up there...
He deserves so much more than those vultures who have the nerve to call themselves family. Watson. Yes, I know you like vultures. Please, I really don't need another lecture. There's a rat under your chair. Jesus! There's another by the oven. Oh my God, it's like Ratatouille. What is going on? Christ, there's one there too. He's got an infestation. Wait.
What? Can we leave, please? There's rats everywhere. Even the cat has given up. Look. Follow. No. There'll be more rats this way. Oh, lovely. Wow. That is a lot of rats. Do we think there's a body or something? Lab rats. What? Rathu was a lab rat, as are these. Presbury had injections in his arm. Blood poisoning.
It would have accelerated the dementia dramatically. Why blood poisoning? The Eight Serum. Presbury was experimenting on himself to preserve his life. It didn't work? Certainly not.
Take Mercer. I beg your pardon? The cat. Take the cat. Why? Take the cat. We're heading to the Hammersmith Apollo. Okie dokie. Tell you what, I'll steal the senile old man's cat, you key his car and then we'll go egg Great Ormond Street. Fine. I'll take the bloody cat. Come on, you...
Rat murderer. Sherlock, what are you doing? Sherlock! Ah, God, Mercer scratched me again. Excuse me, excuse me. You can't bring a cat in here, mate. Oh, it's Professor Presbury's cat. OK, I have tickets. I have three tickets. Why are you holding a cat? Shall I put it down? What, you're going to put it down? On the floor. Shall I put the cat on the floor? No.
Excuse me, sir. We have rescued Professor Presbury's cat. Tom and Edith would like us to bring his feline friend to him on stage. Why exactly would he want that? Showbiz, eh? Fans will love it. Right, give us a second. Wait here, alright? Yeah, will do. Thanks, mate. Oh...
Oh, you stink. And you're soaking wet. Yes, yeah. Any other comments from the team? Your hair looks stupid and your nipples are visible. Eh, the hair is okay. The nipples, not so much. Jesus, this is like reading a comment section. Sorry, what are we doing? Why do we have a cat? We stole it from Professor Orson Presbury. The real, the real Professor Orson Presbury. Yeah, the real deal.
Orson Presby has dementia. Very advanced. He's been attempting some blood transfusions. Oh, my God. Yeah, they didn't work out. He's taken the whole monkey man thesis way too far. He's been sheltered away by his family, who are profiting off his name, his work, and, of course... Replicating him through AI. Bingo. Jesus. Ugh.
It's like when they bring dead actors back to star in movies. I mean, yeah, they don't bring them back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they recreate them digitally. I didn't mean they go dig them up out of the ground. Wait, so wait...
You stole his cat? Yes, so he stole his cat. And that will fix things? Apparently, yeah. Where's the security guy gone? Ah, yes, good point. Let's head through. Sherlock! Here, Mrs Hudson, shove Mercer under your top. Up, up, up, up. Who's Mercer? This fellow. Up you go. Oh.
Haha, you are joking me. Let me just have a look through the coats here. Sherlock, that's the coat room! Aha! Baby on board badge. Just the ticket. Oh my god. Hello there. Hi. How far along? Oh, I am... 30 weeks. She's 30 weeks. Sorry? Apologies, that was me. Can't contain my excitement.
Of course, yeah. Your row J, seats 21, 22, 23. You can just head down there. Excuse me. Sorry. Thank you. So sorry. So sorry. Thank you. How long? 30 weeks. 30 weeks? Not long now, yeah? No, not long. Boy or girl? Having a boy or a girl? It's a boy. Ow. Ow. Sorry. He's... He's kicking. Ow.
I hate you both. Why? It wasn't my idea, it was him. Of course it was mine. It's genius. Okay, and what happens now? Genius? The main event. Travel is all about choosing your own adventure. With your Chase Sapphire Reserve card, sometimes that means a ski trip at a luxury lodge in the Swiss Alps.
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But how do we connect? We think it's through language, right? Language is a component, sure.
I think we might be pushing it a little here. You going into labour? Yep. And I think he's pretty pissed off in there. Right-o. Let's get cracking. Mrs Hudson, head to dressing room C. Tom and Edith will be in there. The handles have an external lock release. Turn it clockwise and lock them in.
Watson, you see the position of the lighting technician up there? Oh, on the platform up there, yeah. That's where the camera is too. And I bet the computer will be positioned on that same platform to prevent lag over meters and meters of fiber. Okay, head up there, apprehend the lighting technician and switch the computer off.
Guard the position. Make sure the safety curtain stays up. Let the cameras catch everything. What do you mean by apprehend? You're a soldier, Watson. A fighter. A brute. You know what to do. Say no more. So long, sucker. Oh! Oh, Christ! You...
You hit me! Sorry, sorry, I thought that... That was meant to knock you out so I could... Jesus Christ, that's really sore! God, that hurts! Sorry, I'm really sorry. It was just meant to be a quick thing... Why did you do that? It was just supposed to knock you out briefly and then I sort of pull you out of the way and... What's wrong with you? I'm sorry, sorry. Where are you going? To get my manager, you dickhead! Really, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
I mean, that kind of worked. He did leave, so... Right. OK, well, I need to wait until Sherlock takes to the stage and confronts Presbury. Well, whoever that is. OK, I can see the computer here. And...
Yes, I can see the switch. Right. I need to move somebody over to the mics. Ah!
Oh, here we go. Sherlock has stormed the stage with a cat. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Some of the software is going crazy here. Weird.
Cat. Nothing else to add, Professor? Tom and Edith will assist. Repeat. Tom and Edith will assist. And the cat's name, Professor? Professor Orson Presbury mentioned his cat, Mercer, in a 2017 interview with BBC Lifestyle. Oh, did he now?
Doesn't seem to like you all that much, Professor Presbury. Yes, Sherlock. Maybe if you take off those dots on your face. Sherlock is taking the cat closer to him and the cat is getting more and more pissed off.
Cats can be unpredictable creatures, can't they? Seems to like me, though. Yes. The show needs to continue. Ah, yes, of course. This stage is preserved for Professor Orson Presbury. That's who the audience have paid to see, not me. Thank you. But not you, either. No response again. Interesting. Give him a prompt, Sherlock.
Go on, do it. Do it. Prompt. Discredit the work of Orson Presbury. Orson Presbury has been widely discredited on many of his ideas involving... Do it in a camp, flamboyant manner. Girlfriend, that Orson Presbury is so full of shit, his toilet is jealous. Do it as a Nazi. Presbury's reset his treachery to the right and the might of the vote. The Führer will make him president.
I'm afraid you've fallen for a good old-fashioned magic trick. Well, maybe not that old-fashioned. Watson, pull the plug. Pulling the plug. Wow, computer graphics on the face have gone. It's not Presbury.
Obviously. Nobody look. Who are you? Where is Tom? Where is Tom and Edith? Who are you? His voice is gone. Security! I think Sherlock's going to hand the cat over. Best be off. Here's your cat. No one look. As promised. Do not look. Oh, mercy. It's all done now. It's all done now.
Tom and I are extremely proud of my father and we are deeply, deeply sorry for any offence we may have caused by replicating his image rights to spread his important message and studies. Oh, piss off. Hello there, listeners. You find me chuckling smugly on my couch at 221B as I watch the press conference of what the British press are calling the most hated couple in the country.
So there you go. They are yet to mention the Eastern European man we unmasked like some sort of Scooby-Doo villain on stage. Don't know why. Maybe we'll just incriminate them further. Oh, speaking of incrimination, yes, I did have to speak to the police. But fortunately, after Sherlock's exposure to these events, the lighting technician didn't press charges. It was just a bruise, to be honest. And we will do better.
So there you go. The Adventure of the Creeping Man. A duplicitous AI media empire comes crashing down on stage, live at the Hammersmith Apollo. All for what? For these two idiots to exploit awesome Presbyterian and make themselves yet more money. For all the Carol Watsons listening, hi mum. AI is a very good imitator.
and if you have the right minds behind it you can do what these people did deceive everybody even when they're sat watching you live on stage I mean look at ABBA they're touring again not really ABBA obviously but you know what I mean ABBAtars I believe they call them replications of the original but with a lot less shagging and falling out with each other I would imagine but still that's the beauty of humanity isn't it? it's messy and real
Oh, I would have given anything to watch those two trapped in their dressing room. Good work, Marianna. Watching their whole project fall apart. Then again, I would have missed Mercer the cat clawing at that man's face.
I guess he really didn't like anyone other than the real Lawson Presbury. Well, I can't sit here all day glowing in victory. I've got to go debrief with our very important client. Perhaps my most favourite client yet, actually. Hello. Hiya. Just paying a visit to Mercer. Ah, lovely. He's just down here.
You visited him before? Yeah, a couple of times now. Here he is. Hello, mate. How are you doing? He's doing very well. See the sign? What sign? There. Orange one. I've found a new home. Hey, adopted. Adopted yesterday. They're picking him up tomorrow. Well done, mate. I'm pleased for you. Family home. Older kids, though, because of the scratching. I think that was a one-off. In it worse.
Look at him, if cats could smile. That is a smile, isn't it? Couple minutes, I just need to sort the front desk. No, no, yeah, it's fine, I'll just say my goodbyes. Right, Mercer, here's your update. Your owner, your dad, I don't know how you refer to him, is in a home. A legal team funded by the university got access back to his cash, his don, and he's now being looked after, as are you, by the sounds of it. Um...
You know, we would have had you. But, you know, I've got a dog and a detective to look after. So, yeah. Hey, this family sounds great. Good for you. Good for you. Final thing, we learnt the identity of the imitator using the AI voice and face. Alexis Dorak, Czech national, pioneered some AI facial tracking and vocalisation software, used it on some elections. So, yeah.
One of those arseholes. I guess you are the client for this case. So, yeah, this case has formally been solved. I hope you're happy with our services. Yeah, I... What are you doing here? Jeez, what are you doing here? I was... well, I was actually just... You're here to visit Mercer, aren't you? Don't be ridiculous. The heartless rat murderer melted your heart, did he? Preposterous assumption, Watson. Absolutely ridiculous.
How is he? Been adopted. Wonderful. Yeah, yeah. I was just closing the case, you know, doing a bit of a debrief with the client. Of course. Good work, Watson. Oh, you too. You're a man of the match for this one, mate. Am I now? Yeah, yeah. Your curiosity saved the cat, eh? Indeed. Well, this is goodbye, Merce. Thanks again. Pleasure working with you. Good work on the scratching up of Mr Dorak. All right. Bye, mate.
Please for you. Bye-bye. Goodbye, Mercer. What are you two doing here? Oh, for goodness sake. I'm really sorry I hit the lighting technician. It wasn't supposed to go like that. Why do they do that in films if it doesn't work in real life? Stupid. Er...
Anyway, sorry. That was the adventure of the Creeping Man. Go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. It is great over there. And it's goodbye from me, John Watson. And it's goodbye from me, Sherlock Holmes. What? I go, it's goodbye from me, John Watson. And you go, it's goodbye from me, Sherlock Holmes. And why do I do that again? Because that's what podcasters do. OK, take 14. Here we go. Here we go.
Oh, my God.
Hello everybody, Tom Holland here, the co-host of The Rest Is History with some very, very exciting news. Now to celebrate this year's Olympic Games, which of course are being held in Paris, we thought that we would dive into the story of another period when incredible spectacles were being staged in the French capital to much bloodier effect than anything we will see in the Olympics. And this is the story of the French Revolution.
Over the span of eight episodes running throughout the duration of the Olympics, we'll be looking at the incredible life of Marie Antoinette, the storming of the Bastille, King Louis XVI's attempted escape from Paris with the rest of the royal family, and many more seismic events. So to hear our series on the French Revolution, simply search for The Rest Is History wherever you get your podcasts.